Unexpected
by DanH2010
Summary: i advise you if you haven't read any of my stories i wouldn't start with this one coz u won't understand it. Summary inside Thanks for reading x
1. Alice's Musings Interrupted

**Ok MORE but I love this story. Right as explained this centres more around the kids. Daniel is training as a….vet :) he's returned from uni newly qualified. He meets a mystery person on his way home but are they familiar? And what is there agenda? Or do they even have one?**

**Ethan and Lexi, well you shall have to wait and see what I have in store for them - and their kids. :O **

**And Amie she is actually in Glasgow with Shauna - for now but what is her plan? **

**Ok ages. Danny and Missy are in their fifties :O (52) Ethan and Lex are 36 Daniel is 22. Amie is 21 and Ryan and Ethan Jnr 12. And finally Zoey is 14.**

**(This is Alice's writing but there is an 'explanation' chapter to begin with. You'll see what I mean when you get to the bottom. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy)**

(X)

Alice sat at her table in the study. Quiet surrounded her. She closed her ideas and let thoughts flood her brain. Tried to order them. Let thoughts of Danny, Missy, the kids and Shauna float arond. She smiled as ideas swirled around in her head. She was soon bent over scribbling frantically as to not forget the best ones. She smiled as she wrote down a particularly juicy idea. This one was gonna be good. The best yet! This story was gonna be funny and light with no heartbreak. Just some nice fluffiness to counteract what happened in her other two stories. This story was gonna be Missy personified! The ideas took shape and became clearer and she smiled at dialogue she could hear in her head. Yes she heard voices now - seemed like Miss wasn't the only one who was little bit crazy…oh well she didn't have to admit it did she?

More and more ideas took flight in her head. Her hand flew over the page trying to get them all down. It was lie she had an idea then her brain pinged off in all sorts of directions with where she could go with it. Like a domino effect, or a cascade even. He second book had been very well received and her editor was worried in case she put herself under undue stress. Alice wasn't worried or stressed. She knew she could handle it. Plus she didn't care if people liked her stories. She wrote for herself, because she enjoyed it. It was lovely getting positive reviews and praise but if someone didn't like it then put it away - simple. She wasn't gonna lose any sleep over it.

This could possibility be her last 'Missy' story. She loved writing about Missy but she was considering branching out and doing something different. Or maybe making a mini series called the Leopards Den tales. She had so many ideas she didn't know what to do with them! So maybe leaving Missy behind and branching out, all in due time though she had to write this book first. She began to categorise her ideas on the paper in some sort of order.

She was soon lost in her own imagination. Smiling at funny bits. It was Danny's birthday and Missy was planning a fancy dress party. She was going to get Danny the banana man costume. She find something better though or make it. She scribbled. Shauna was talking to Miss and Alice was writing. Danny walled into the study. He opened his mouth.

"Wait a minute Danny." she said before he could speak. "Missy is talking to Shauna about what she is planning for your birthday." she chuckled a little.

She missed his face paling at the mention of one of the names.

"Alice." he whispered.

"Nearly done…" she started.

"ALICE!" he demanded. She looked up and saw his face. It looked upset. Also the way he looked at her was funny. His eyes were filled with compassion. He clutched a phone so tightly his knuckles were white with strain.

"Is it Ethan or Lex?" she asked softly. Her insides quivering. Panic filled her. He shook his head. She felt relief fill her that the kids were ok. Danny opened his mouth then closed it quickly like he couldn't find the words. He thrust the phone at her and walked out without saying a word. She stared at the phone he had handed to her, raised it to her ear.

"Hello. Alice Trevanion." she said softly.

The caller spoke to her in a grave tone. Her hand flew to her chest.

"Both of them?" she squeaked.

The caller spoke again and she felt her chest begin to heave as she forced air into her lungs.

"Is she.." Alice started. Exhaled slowly

"They were together?" Alice asked. Tears gathered. Her chest began to hurt.

"How long does she have?" Alice asked voice breaking.

She was silent.

"Oh God she's that bad?" Alice cried as tears slid down her cheeks slowly. "Look I'm coming over to say goodbye ok." She couldn't believe this, they couldn't be talking about….

Alice bit his lip as he told her off the injuries one of her best friends had sustained.

"Look, my other fried…"

She was cut off.

"Yeah her, is she gonna live, is she fine?"

She exhaled a breath when he gave her an affirmative.

"Has she been told?"

Alice gasped as she was told of her reaction. "She's taking it that bad huh? God she's in pieces! Look please don't do a thing until I get there. I'm getting the first flight over there ok." she pleaded. Wouldn't put the phone down until the doctor promised. She stalked from the room with purpose.

"Get the kids." she demanded to Danny.

He handed her her passport. "We can't pull them out of school Alice. Daniel has important tests coming up in a few weeks.

"Get the kids Daniel." she said forcefully.

"I've booked you a ticket to Glasgow. As soon as I can I'll follow you over Alice. I promise. They are important but so is Daniels education." he handed her a bag. "I've sorted some stuff for you your flight is due in a couple of hours. Take care of yourself and call ok."

She swallowed thickly at Danny anticipating what she would do. She hugged him tightly. "She's not good Danny. I have to…."

"I know honey. Tell her we love her too yeah."

She nodded quickly and kissed him softly.

"See you later honey."

She walked from the house and found a taxi waiting. She climbed in. she was going to Glasgow.

**A/N This chapter was written very quickly last night. I did debate over whether to keep the name of the seriously hurt one a secret and I WAS going to tell you then changed my mind. Evil I know but….**

**I added this for the reason why this story is fairly dark. So as you know there has been an accident, but what? And either Shauna and Missy are seriously hurt. One is gonna live and the other is gonna die. But who? You can tell me who you think it is if you want .**

**Just a little warning. This story gets a lil nasty later. I'll warn you wen it comes tho x**


	2. Seperated

**A/N this bit was written when Alice was happy. The horribleness comes seriously quickly though. X**

Missy was at Lexi's house. Saw Ryan sneaking around with a mischievous grin. Not again. Seriously Zoey was gonna skin him alive if he planted the snake in her bed again. Along with spiders. Once he even put a real live frog in her pocket. Zoey and her friend nearly had heart failure, EJ and Ryan thought it the height of hilarity. Till Zoey cut their hair while they were asleep. Now it is basically all out war! Yes the child had sense of humour that was alot like hers. She walked closer.

"Ryan don't bother. Ethan and Lexi will kill EJ, and then I will have to kill you too." she told him.

"Mu-um." Ryan moaned. Shot her his I won't go too far grin. The child had no shame. She wasn't letting this go though. She had to be responsible. Inside she really wanted to help him, not torture Zoey just mess on. He was too cool for that now though! She disliked having to play at being an adult! It was so boring.

"Lexi will freak. Do you really want your big sisters wrath?" she asked.

Ryan grinned cockily. "No mum, Zoey will freak. Which is what will be hilarious."

Missy exhaled and rolled her eyes.

"Do you not remember what she did to your hair? Or the feathers? She'll know it was you. She chase and catch you and then you'll be in for it. She warned you son."

He grinned cockily again. "It's all in the planning mum. She won't catch me this time!" God she was looking at her own grin at that age. The one she used to do when she was gonna do something stupid and was sure she had all the bases covered…..till she forgot there was huge hole she forgot to fill in and fell on her face! He had her own warm twinkling brown eyes with his fathers face. His brown hair was styled into a sort of messy and unkempt trendy style.

"No Ryan I'm putting my foot down!" she said sternly.

He tutted at her and then walked down the stairs quickly. They walked side by side.

"Ethan and Lexi were yelling again." he said shoved his rubber spiders, snakes and other creepy crawlies in his pockets.

"Don't worry about it. Everyone argues." she told him.

"You and dad don't." he countered.

She smiled. "We used to a lot when you were tiny. Plus we aren't married Ry."

He looked at her. "Why?"

She looked back at her son. The crease in his forehead when he frowned made him look like his father even more. There was a slight hint of her. He had Danny's walk too. Slow, some would say lazy but at the same time sure and confident.

"We just didn't."

"But you been together for years…"

"14 years." he supplied.

"Exactly. Why stay together that long if your not gonna get married?" he asked simply.

He actually had a point there.

He shrugged at her when she didn't answer. "You and dad are weird."

Her child was a complete enigma to her. He was actually very little like her and Danny. He was just Ryan her and Danny combined made this child who was a complete puzzle. She just couldn't figure him out!

"You done your homework yet?" she asked.

He tutted. "Yeah. God school is rubbish!"

She nudged his shoulder as they walked and he nudged back.

"You'd better stop growing soon. Your gonna be bigger than me."

"Then your in trouble huh mum?"

"You'll never be that big laddie. Your never to old for ya mum to take you over her knee!" she said smiling.

"You can try mother." he winked at her and grinned. He groaned. "There's dad I am so off!" he murmured.

"Miss!" Danny waved as he approached the house. He caught up and kissed her.

Ryan rolled his eyes. "Excuse me while I go be sick." he muttered and walked past them quickly.

"Hey Miss, is it just me or is the house WAY too quiet?"

She nodded. "Yeah. With all the kids gone it seems to big and echoey!"

"I wonder when Amie is gonna be home. I don't even know why she went! I swear that child has lived with you way too long!"

She smiled. "I'll ring her tonight and try to convince her to come home. Tell her her daddy is pining for his baby girl!"

He nodded, Missy looked in the house and saw Ryan walk into his room. "Ryan told me that Lexi and Ethan are having problems." She whispered.

Danny walked behind her and put his hands on her shoulders and kneaded. "O why so tense Miss?" he murmured.

She sighed as his hands worked their magic on her tight muscles. He pressed a kiss to her neck and a shiver ran down her spine followed by a flurry of tingles. He smiled as she practically melted back against him.

"Still got it?" he asked his mouth close to her ear.

"Oh yeah!" she murmured.

"How about I hone my skills in our room later yeah?"

"Maybe - if it's worth my while." she replied.

He released her and wiggled his eyebrows.

Later

Ryan was fast asleep in his room and Missy was sorting out her invoices that Murray had emailed her.

"Stupid invoices why do they have so many numbers on them?" she hissed. Shoved them in a drawer. Decided to hide from them for a little bit. All those numbers just made her want to overload. She couldn't hide forever though. She could pretend for abit though. She nodded pleased the reason she was stressing was gone. The mini massage Danny had gave her had helped and her shoulders felt loose.

There was a knock on the door. Missy answered. Saw Lexi stood there.

"Lex?" she asked worriedly. She was in tears.

"Me and Ethan are over!" she said sadly.

Missy felt the tension take root and turn her shoulders into stone once again.

Missy brought her inside and put the kettle on. "Sit down and tell me everything." a few minutes she placed a mug of hot chocolate in front of her. "What's wrong?" she asked softly.

"Everything Miss. Lately I can't remember why we are together except for the kids. I can't remember why I fell for him. Everything feels so far away. God Miss I think he's cheating!" she said heartbrokenly. There was something else Lex wasn't telling her too Missy knew. That would come eventually.

"Ethan cheat Lex? You and I both know he wouldn't do that to you."

Lexi shook her head. "There's a new woman at the fire department. Selena she draped herself all over him. 'Save me Ethan!' she was squealing as she wrapped her arms around him. He was laughing. He made no attempt to move or remove her. I left I couldn't watch that!"

"Ethan loves you Lex this is a rough patch. Everyone has them." Missy tried to tell her but Lexi wasn't hearing it.

"He wants things I don't Miss. He wants us to have another child. I mean we have two teenagers. A boy and a girl. I don't want another child. I'm happy, or was happy with my life as it was!"

Missy nodded. A standoff.

"I dunno Miss. We haven't been us for about a year now. The spark is gone. The feeling is gone. There is no life in our relationship. It's stale." she shrugged.

"Do you love him Lex?" Missy asked the hundred dollar question. The way Lexi was talking….

"I….I….God Miss I don't know anymore. Really Miss." she exhaled. "There's…there's a guy at work Miss."

Oh god! Missy winced inwardly. She knew where this was going!

"Miss I think…I dunno I have feelings for him. I'm falling for him in a big way Miss. I really think I am!"

Missy rubbed her face this was WAY out of her league.

"Do you like him more than Ethan?" God that question was so wrong. How could anyone chose any guy over Ethan. He was just…..a lovely person basically. Adorable.

"Oh I dunno Miss that's my problem. See I do still love Ethan. But Xander, he makes me laugh. He compliments me. He does stuff Ethan used to do but doesn't bother with anymore."

"Have you thought Lex that maybe you aren't falling for him. Maybe you just like the attention he gives you?"

Lexi exhaled. "Miss I just…..help me please. Tell me what to do coz this is tearing me apart. I don't want anyone to get hurt!"

Missy had a feeling that that was inevitable at this point. "Have you spoke to Ethan?"

"I haven't been home yet Miss. Xander tried to kiss me today. At the final second I pushed him away I really wanted to kiss him but I couldn't."

"Go talk to your husband Lex. That's the only advice I can give. I can't tell you how to sort this. Only you can decide. See this decision affects not only you but the rest of your life possibly. And your family."

Lexi nodded. Stood up

"Think carefully Lex. Don't do anything rash that you might regret."

Lexi nodded and walked from the house.

Lexi thought long and hard as she drove home she knew deep down what she felt she had to do. She didn't want to do it, but this had been going on for a year and she couldn't do it anymore they had fallen into a boring routine. They were never affectionate anymore. Never showed love, in any way. Verbal or physical. She was just so confused and didn't know what she wanted anymore.

(X)

Ethan sat in the kitchen and thought about his phone call to Thabo. He was panicked. He and Lexi were in deep trouble he knew that much was true. He didn't now how to approach her anymore. He wanted to hug and kiss her but how? What if she pushed him away? He couldn't deal with that, it would tear him apart. They were living together now, sort of like brother and sister. Which was weird coz if they had did that in the first place then this problem wouldn't have been happening. They just sort of existed in the same house.

Lexi was sat in the dark on her veranda. She listened to the sounds coming from the house. EJ was shouting at the TV. Presumably on a car game telling the car to get the hell out of the way. Heard her daughter talking on the phone. Someone called Swift was getting mentioned a lot. If she hadn't been so worried about her and Ethan she might have paid more attention but she was lost in thoughts of her husband, trying in vain to find a way to make it work. All the answers she could muster just seemed to bring her to dead ends. How had they came to this? They had always promised that nothing would break them. They were stronger than strong. She had never doubted his feelings before. Then again he never just stopped being affectionate either. She covered her eyes with her hand and exhaled. Ethan walked out with his phone to his ear. Her phone began to ring. He turned and saw her. He pressed disconnect and her phone stopped ringing. She deleted the missed call and placed the phone on the space beside her.

Hey Ethan." Lexi said neutrally.

He nodded in agreement.

"Ethan things haven't exactly been working out between us have they?" she murmured.

"No, they haven't." he whispered. Sat on the chair beside hers.

"I don't know what to do anymore." she admitted.

"Me either." he agreed. But he knew he wanted them back.

"I think…" he phone went off. Alerting her to a text. Ethan head turned automatically and he noticed the first line.

'I had fun earlier. We'll carry on with our kiss…."

"Kiss?" he asked. Felt something building in his chest. It felt like anger. But that couldn't be true, he never felt anger towards Lexi.

"Ethan you weren't supposed to see that." she whispered.

"Obviously not!" he hissed. It grew and grew with every second that passed. No denials. No excuses. Just silence.

"Well?" he asked. "Did you kiss him?" he knew the answer. So this was why she didn't want him anymore!

"Ethan look….a guy at work…I haven't actually done anything…but…" she exhaled. "I dunno Eth."

He was filled with rage. "I'm your husband Lex. Have you forgot that?"

"He tried to kiss me. I pulled away." not before she had responded for a second. The guilt was killing her.

"HE wants to continue it." he hissed. "Do you?"

Lexi paled. He read her mind and narrowed his eyes.

"I wouldn't do that to you Ethan." she promised. "I'm not a cheater. You know that." she rubbed her face. "Ethan he…I dunno…I like him."

The feeling turned into pain. A sharp stabbing pain in the centre of his chest. "You like him? As in…." he prompted.

She was quiet. Gathered her thoughts. Looked at him sadly. "Ethan this has been on the cards for at least a year. Why deny the inevitable?"

"I'm not hearing this!" he murmured in denial.

She inhaled sharply. Gathered courage. "Ethan I want a separation."

He winced. Waited for pain to engulf him, nothing a strange calm had fallen over him. He ran his hands through his hair. His mind ran through things they could do. Even he knew that it was too late for all this! "If that is what you want." he finally said quietly.

She nodded.

"I'll just um…go…get some stuff sorted then. Say goodbye to the kids."

He walked into the house numb. She wanted a separation. She didn't love him anymore. He grabbed a bag and shoved some clothes in it. Shouldn't he be angry? He was before. He should be hurt too. Was this feeling shock? Or was it because deep down he knew that this was coming. That one day he knew that he wasn't good enough for her and that she would hurt him. He moved robotically. Knocked on Zoey's door.

"C'min." she was lain on her stomach. Legs in the air painting her nails.

"Hey daddy."

She was 14 and he was still daddy.

"Look angel I'm heading over to granddads ok."

"Why?" she asked frowning.

"Me and mum will talk this over with you and Ethan tomorrow." he always tried to be honest with his kids and he wasn't telling a lie to Zoey just to have to correct it later.

She nodded. "Love you daddy. Be careful at work."

He gave her a half smile. "Always am." he promised. Pressed a kiss to her brown hair. He took a final look at his brown eyed brown haired angel, his little clone. "Love you too angel." he closed her door with a soft click. When to see his son. Found him yelling at the TV.

"Stupid car, stop flipping beeping just get out of my way!" he hissed. His arms moving in the direction he was trying to make his car move. He was a brown eyed Lexi and had the attitude to match.

"Next time drift into the turn huh." Ethan suggested.

EJ exhaled. "Will you show me dad. I can't drift too good."

"Use the back break not the hand break. See that stops the back wheel. Turn at the same time as you break and it skids. Stop the engine for a second so you drift then put the accelerator back down so you speed ahead." he said.

"Can't you show me though?" EJ asked.

"I'm heading over to Granddads."

"Kay dad."

"See you soon son." he ruffled his hair.

EJ grunted at him. "Da-ad!"

Sorry he mouthed, EJ rolled his eyes.

He grabbed his bag and stalked from the house. Ignoring Lexi as he went.

**A/N ok alice's writing had turned bad. it does get worse as she is informed of her friends condition. i have changed the way this is sequenced so u might get lost or confused in later chapters as stuff was gonna happen now i decided to have it later so... it'll be the next few chapters so any confusion drop me a line. :)**

**i was actually gonna update the life and times of danice today BUT there was half a can of 7up spilt on my keyboard. along with the lilt a few weeks ago my keyboard gave up the ghost :. my dad is gonna b pissed i pinched his spare keyboard :) and my bro jst text to tell me me dads space bar is knacked lol oh well u snooze u lose daddy haha x but anyways this was half typed so i decided to pt this up as life and times of danice is quite long but very good and very fluffy XD hope u enjoyed x**


	3. Yes And No!

"Ryan's asleep." Danny whispered in Missy's ear. They were in the study. She was poring over blueprints and designs on the desk. He was kneading the muscles in her shoulders and pressing soft kisses on her neck. Trying to tempt her into leaving her work and joining him elsewhere.

"Danny work." she said. Her voice shook. He still affected her when he did this. Nearly 15 years later!

"Sod work." he said softly.

She looked back at him and smiled at him. "Maybe this once." she murmured and put all her designs away.

"Good coz I seem to remember me and you having a date." he whispered. Took her hand and led her to their room.

"Close your eyes." he whispered.

"Danny." she said already exasperated.

"Humour me." he said in a 'please' voice.

She exhaled and closed her eyes.

"How many fingers?" he asked.

"I dunno my eyes are closed." she said dryly.

"Miss." he said.

"Fine um 4." she guessed.

"I knew it! You are peeking!" he declared.

"Christ Danny that was a blatant guess!" she said laughing.

"No cheater. I shall have to cover your eyes just for good measure!" she could hear the smile in his tone. He then leaned over and opened the door.

"You know Danny this would be easier if I could see. Just let me open my eyes."

"No." he said simply and the door finally opened. He guided her inside. He took his hand away.

"Ok open them!"

She looked. The bedroom was full of candles. Of every shape size and colour. On the bed there was petals from flowers. There was a message written in them. She turned around and saw Danny was down on one knee. He echoed the sentiment written on the bed.

"Melissa Lynch, I love you. Will you marry me?"

She smiled widely. "Yes. A million yeses!" she jumped up and down as he slipped the ring on her finger.

"So your finally making a chained man of me?" he asked as he circled his arms around her.

"It took you long enough to ask." she retorted and encircled her arms around him.

"I wanted you to be sure." he ran a hand down her face. "The years we have spent together. They have been the best Miss. I know that nothing will ever break us." he promised.

"I love you too and your stuck with me. Nothing will tear me from you now." she reached up and kissed him deeply.

(X)

Amie was still at Shauna's. Not for long though. She was packing her stuff in a bag. She was 21 and had just finished learning to be a pilot. Her dad didn't know though. He'd seriously freak out! She hated being his youngest daughter. Why couldn't Ryan have been a girl? Then she wouldn't get baby girl this and baby girl that! She's 21 years old for Christ's sake! She exhaled. She knew her dad loved her but she wasn't a baby anymore. He just had to accept that! He wasn't like that with Lex and lets face it she had it much harder than she had. She had nearly been killed when he ambulance crashed. She had had cancer! The worst thing that had happened to Amie was breaking her arm when she was 12. And even then that had been stupid. She fell out of a tree hiding from Daniel. She had poured nail varnish on one of his football tops after he told a boy who she fancied that she liked him. Brothers! Kinda worked out in her favour though. She and the boy had had a seriously good snogging session behind the school. Til Daniel threatened to break HIS arms if he touched her again. BROTHERS! She thought again exasperated.

She supposed she could understand where her dad came from. She did have…a wild streak for want of a better term. What some would call an adrenaline junkie. She would try anything at least once. The more dangerous the better! Yup, she defo had issues! So she liked her life exciting? Who wants to just sit there and wait for death to come and take you away! Life had no guarantees! If she was gonna die then she wanted to have tried everything. She had already done bungee jumps, sky diving, white water rafted, base jumping and she had even climbed a mountain. The next thing on her list was to swim with sharks. Unfortunately she couldn't afford to do that. Shame she was quite looking forward to doing it too! She had raised a fair bit of money for charity with her bungee jumps et cetera. She had joined this thrill seekers group where they pool their money which is how they had funded all these jumps of death and so on. All this stuff was starting to get monotonous. She was bored again. She'd came to Glasgow just for time to clear her head. Then an idea had hit her. It excited her. She had went to see about it and it had evolved into a life of it's own.. If she wanted excitement she was gonna get it! She had signed up for the R.A.F. yep. The air force. She already knew how to fly planes so all she needed in that area was the most basic of training.

The thing is, she wanted a life beyond Leopards Den. She loved her home. It would always be home but she had no desire to live her entire life their and miss out on everything the world had to offer. She didn't mean to disrespect her brother or sister either. Lexi had of course became a paramedic and came home. Ethan therapist/fireman. Leopards Den. Even Daniel was going to work the surgery when he finished his degree. She couldn't. She just needed to get out into the world while she could! Before she had a family to hold her back! She wanted to spread her wings and fly. Fall on her face with no one to catch her. Fall in love with the completely wrong guy then tell him to go to hell! She thought with a smile. She needed to travel and explore, meet people. Find herself.

Ever since Amie had turned 14 she had felt a restlessness deep inside. She had spoke to Missy about it at 16. It was then Missy had told her about the extent of her travels. She wanted that. Missy knew exactly how she felt. Her dad didn't understand. He was a stay at home roots kind of person. Missy was like that now too. If Amie didn't know better she would have sworn that Missy was her mum. Missy had been right. They were very alike. They had both needed freedom. A chance to fly or fall. Missy had thrived when she went to find her own way in the world and Amie was sure she would do the same! She just needed a chance. Another reason she had came to Scotland. Her dad loved her but babied and smothered her. She would have lived a long and happy life on her families little game reserve and have been bored out of her skull. Now she would be flying fighter jets all over the world and if she died young so be it. At least she would go out with a bang, not a whimper. Unlike her mother! She temped all that old resentment down. Her mum hadn't wanted to die. It still hadn't been fair on her though she had only been a kid, practically a baby still. Her memories of her mother were non existent. They had slowly drifted out of her mind as she grew older and now she had nothing - just what people told her. Oh and the face she looked at in the mirror in the morning. Yeah thanks for that mum. Leave me behind as your likeness and then go so I have no idea if I'm like you or not! She always felt so left out when Lexi and her dad would talk. Ethan too. Daniel even had a few memories. She was a blank when it came to her mother. She felt anger build her fists clenched tightly.. Calm down Ames! she told herself and counted slowly.

Anyway she was gonna be a fighter pilot. Couldn't get much better than that! She knew she had to complete a tour of Afghanistan as a preliminary thing after her training. Then after that they would tell her is she was available for advancement. Foregone conclusion in Amie's mind. She knew what she had to do. She knew that they would let her in! she was gonna kick some terrorist ass in the mean time! She left an envelope addressed to Shauna and hefted a bag on her shoulder. Checked her watch. 8 o'clock. Smiled cockily. "Off I go!"

(X) At Leopards Den

"Hello Mrs Trevanion to be." Danny murmured in Missy's ear as she lay wrapped in his arms.

"Hello." she whispered yawning. She still wasn't used to waking up early.

"How do you feel?" he asked and nuzzled her neck.

"Ecstatic." she admitted. Kissed him deeply. Before it could go any further her phone rang. Her shoulders slumped.

"Ignore it." he whispered.

It rang off and she smiled. Then promptly rang again.

"Who ever it is they'll stalk me." she said seriously. He grudging loosened his hold. She reached across and grabbed her phone off the table. Sat bolt upright.

"Danny I've got 6 missed calls off Shauna! I bet it's one of the kids!" she panicked and rang Shauna.

"Shauna what's wrong?" she asked worrying.

"Amie had gone and joined the army. She's going to Afghanistan!" Shauna shrieked.

"What?" she asked in shock.

"She's only went a took what you done and went a whole other notch! She's joining the RAF too. Flying fighter jets. I could feel the excitement rolling off the letter she wrote me in waves. She has serious adrenaline issue Miss. Flying jets!"

"Christ. Speak to her dad yeah!" Handed the phone to Danny as she mulled over Shauna's words. Had the stories she had told Amie sorted of inspired her to do this?

"She's what?" he demanded and paled.

"She's already gone Danny!" Shauna said softly.

"Thanks for letting me know Shauna. I gotta go" he said and disconnected. Put his hand on his face. His baby was going to war! Flying planes! Is this a freaking film?

His phone rang. Missy fished it out of his jeans and tossed it to him.

"Amie." she told him.

"Hey dad!" Amie said cheerily on the phone.

"Amie Amanda Trevanion you better get yourself home right now!" he fumed.

"Sorry dad. By the tone of your voice you know. I'm all signed up and ready to be shipped out. 6 weeks of training then off I go."

"No get home!" his teeth clenched.

"I can do this dad!" She stressed.

"You're a baby Amie!"

"I'm 21 dad!" she retorted.

"Amie do you realise what you might have to do over there?" he was telling her of the implications of having to possibly kill someone.

"Yeah I do dad. It won't be nice but it'll be necessary. It'll be them or me. I know all the risks. They lay them out for me. I'm willing to take them!"

"Amie don't do this to me baby please come home!" he pleaded.

"I just called to say I love you and I'll write. Take care of each other and don't worry I'll be fine!" she said cockily.

"Amie!" he said panicking.

"Bye dad. Give Ryan and Miss a kiss for me."

She disconnected and he stared at the phone.

"Amie has joined the army Miss. The freaking army! People are gonna be pointing guns at her. Shooting at her. Bombs!" he paled and rubbed his face.

"Danny…" Missy said.

"I gotta make some calls. Put a stop to this!" he said stubbornly.

"No Danny." Missy told him.

"What do you mean no!" he yelped.

"She's an adult danny!"

"She is my baby!" he replied.

"Your 21 year old baby. If she wants to do this then you can't stop her!"

"I can try!" he said trying to figure out who he could phone. She took his phone out of his hand. He squeaked at her.

"Would you stop Daniel?"

Danny froze.

"If this was something he really wanted to do?" she added.

"Daniel…it's different. He's a man." he told her. He knew he shouldn't see it like that but he did.

"So you don't think Amie is capable?" Missy asked edgily.

"Course I do! But Miss she is my baby girl!" he tried to stress the importance of those words but Missy didn't seem to be getting it.

"Danny she's clever. Quick on her feet. Resourceful. And you and I both know she can talk herself out of a tight spot at any time. She'll use anything she has to her advantage. Including her stunning smile!"

He exhaled. Remembered cradling her in his arms. Newborn.

"Trust your daughter Danny. You brought her up right." she urged. "C'mon she's Alice's daughter too. Nothing could bring her down when she set her mind to it! You'll see. She'll be better than fine. When they see who their up against they surrender!" she tried vainly to inject some lightness into the conversation. It wasn't working

He smiled a half smile. Worry still creased his forehead. Missy hugged him tightly.

For gods sake Alice keep her safe! Missy prayed silently.

"C'mon Hun. There's stuff needs done in the surgery. Ryan needs his breakfast too!" she told him.

**A/N there is a hidden message in this chapter. a hidden meaning sort of thing. what do you think? and i wonder y Alice chose 2 write Amie exactly like Miss? hmmm clue 4 u x amie also has issues with Alice oooo this could really go somewhere :) thanx 4 reading x**


	4. Unexpected News and Visitors

Jay Sean - I'm Gone **Ethan POV**

_I don't want to have to see you happy._

_I can't even bare to see you smile._

_Now-a-days I can't look in your eyes _

_Well I can but it takes a while_

_Does it show?_

_Told a lot of white lies to hide it all._

_They're beginning to break me down,_

_But I promise it's over now._

_I'm gone._

(X)

Ethan lay in his bed at Leopards Den. So he and Lexi were over. He loved her for over 25 years and she was throwing all that away for some person she liked? Well let her when it all went belly up she could go to hell! As long as he could see his kids as often as he wanted he didn't care, she could have a football team of lov….nope not quite ready to go there.

He'd known something was wrong. She'd been distant with him. They never hugged or kissed anymore. The physical side of their relationship had completely disappeared he'd figured they'd get it back eventually. He loved her as much as he always had, fool that he was he still loved her like that. She still managed to take his breath away with a smile. Except now she had Xander, her paramedic friend. Ever since Bob had retired and Xander was assigned as her new partner all he heard wads Xander this and Xander that. Like she was a teenager with a crush. God how could she do this to him? He loved her so deeply, so completely that nothing would ever make him look at another woman and he had offers. Practically constant offers from Selena. He had always told her no, wasn't even interested. He loved his wife who had been out drooling over other men!

He thought they'd been happy together - wrong.

He thought she loved him - wrong.

It seemed that Danny's long ago prophecy was right. They would hurt each other. Hurt? He felt like she had destroyed him! He could even look at her right now. He didn't know if he ever could!

(X)

Lexi turned over in bed, reached out automatically. Found Ethan's side empty. Her words yesterday returned to haunt her. Lex you are a prize fool! An idiot! Next time stab him in the heart with a blunt knife. It'll hurt less! He had deserved honesty though and her feelings were helter skelter at the moment. It wasn't that she didn't love him any more - she did. And she still found him as gorgeous as ever. And his eyes, they still made her want to fall into them and never climb out. But the thing was she had noticed Xander. In all the years they had been together she had never noticed another man before. She wouldn't have noticed him if her marriage had been all right. Xander had whispered that she was beautiful and kissed her. She hadn't kissed Ethan in….god knows how long. If had felt really good to be wanted. Desired.

She didn't regret a moment of her life with Ethan. She had Zoey and Junior. They had countless memories - happy times. He was her first love. Nothing would ever change that. A part of her would always be in love with him. She had honestly thought they would last forever. No though. He had forgot she existed and found affection elsewhere. She had been pushed out of his arms and replaced by someone else. He was Selena's now and she was going to have Xander! She could help but feel a stab of jealousy at the thought of him and Selena together. Don't even go there Lexi. You called time and if he wants to go out with other woman then it's his right!

She rose from her bed angry at the thoughts rushing through her head.

(X) **2 Months Later**

Daniel drove his car along the rutted road. He and his friend were driving to Leopards Den. Rox was only staying a day. Daniel was talking on the phone.

"Ames you taking care of yourself?" he asked. Bluetooth plugged in his ear.

"Yeah." she replied.

"Kicking terrorist ass huh?" he asked with a smile.

"Not exactly."

"What you doing then?" he asked.

She exhaled. "It's classified Daniel."

"I'm your big brother Amie." he told her thinking she was carrying on.

"And I signed a non disclosure agreement. Look Dan, I was…..noticed in training. They said I had good skills. I was quick to learn and stealthy. They said I was good on my feet. I was recruited and sent for more in depth training."

"To where?" he asked intrigued.

"Secret service." she said softly.

Daniels jaw dropped. "You're a secret agent Ames? No way!"

"Way! It's been so cool so far. All the training and the gadgets. Some I had no idea even existed! And I so hope I get a cool code name like agent orange!"

Daniel rolled his eyes.

"Can you tell me anything?"

"We go in quiet. Come out quiet and no one gets hurt, unless they have to." she assured him.

"God Ames take care of yourself huh?"

"Don't worry I'm well trained. Top of my class hence me straight there into a op. I kick ass!" she promised. "Anyway I gotta go. Being briefed in an hour."

"Kay Ames. just take care!" he stressed. Repeated it once again.

"I will. Always do!"

"God flying jets and secret missions Ames."

"I know I must be off my nut. It's fun though." she said with a laugh.

"Tell your sister she is hot!" Rox said loudly.

"Thanks Rox!" Amie yelled. "Bye Dan. You take care too. Love you big bro."

Daniel disconnected and looked at Rox raised his eyebrows.

"Sorry, but she is." Rox said seriously.

"You know when we get to mine can you do me a favour?" Daniel asked.

"What?" Rox asked.

"Can you not….pant over Missy? It's scary and creepy. She's…no disrespect but old!"

"Have you looked at her Dan?" he fanned himself.

Daniel made a face of disgust.

"You can't tell me you haven't noticed her - At all. Her accent finishes it for me!"

Daniel exhaled. "I saw pictures of in her early twenties with my mum and I'll admit yeah she was really really….gorgeous but you should see the way she looks at my dad. It's sickly. That cured me. Instantly!"

"You too close to see it mate. To appreciate her!" Rox told him.

"And your close to becoming her stalker!" Daniel retorted seriously.

They rode in silence for a while longer.

"What's this then?" Rox asked sitting up.

A woman was sat on the hood of her car looking forlorn. She had auburn hair and hazel eyes and was short. Just slightly taller than Amie and his mother.

Daniel stopped the car and climbed out. "hello."

She slid off the hood of her car and her hand flew to her belt.

"I'm Daniel Trevanion."

He saw her eyes narrow at the name.

"You having problem?"

"Yeah my car just conked out on me!" she complained. "I'm not very mechanically inclined so I was waiting for help."

"Where you off?" Daniel asked. He didn't know how to fix cars either.

"Leopards den."

"Hey me too. I'll drop you off."

"How do I know your not some psycho rapist?" she asked belligerently.

"How do I know your not some psycho murderer?" he asked with a grin.

She smiled in reply automatically. His eyes were the clearest blue! She thought. "Coz your still alive!"

He laughed a little. "I just want to go and see someone there." she said honestly. "Well 2 people actually. An Alice Trevanion and a Daniel Trevanion. Not you obviously. Your too young!"

"Alice, my mum passed away about 10 years ago. I'm heading home from uni. I've just finished so I can drop you off there to speak to my dad."

She smiled and nodded. "Just so you know I have self defence aids!" she warned.

"I'll keep it in mind." he said with a laugh. She laughed too.

"Do I get the privilege of knowing your name?" he asked.

"Not yet. Soon."

They climbed in the car.

"Hey." she said to Rox as she climbed in the back of the car.

"Hello." Rox said appreciatively.

"God anything with a pulse!" Danny muttered.

They soon arrived at Leopards Den and Danny came walking down the stairs. "Hey son. it's good to see you home. Your fully qualified huh?" he hugged him as soon as he climbed out of the car. Rox climbed out and waved at Missy.

"Hey Rox." she said uncomfortable.

"You looking as beautiful as ever!" he gushed.

"ROX!" Daniel warned.

"Um thanks Rox." she said and twined her hand with Danny's tried to send Rox a hidden message, like leave me alone!

"Dad you have…."

The lady in question climbed out.

"So Daniel is this your…"

"No dad." he said quickly.

She greeted Danny. "Hello Daniel. You probably don't remember me. My name is Amy…Amy Robinson."

"Amy?" he asked delighted. "Wow look at you. Your so big!" he gushed. Let go of Missy's hand and was beside Amy in a second.

Amy raised her eye brows.

"And your so pretty too come inside." he pressed. "How you been? What you been up to?" he asked as they walked inside.

**A/N ooo the plot thickens amie has joined the secret service. you do know this will all end in tears. i have BIG plans :)**

**oooo and Amy Robinson has turned up. the last time we saw her she was 6 years old. no one has seen or heard from her in 15 years. why is she here? why hasn't she ben in touch? again the plot thickens even furthur!**


	5. Swift News

Missy walked out onto the veranda. Saw Ethan wielding a paintbrush.

"Hey Ethan how are you?" she asked.

"Busy." he replied trying to tell her he didn't wanna talk. Missy wasn't deterred that easily though. "Zoey doesn't get here for another hour and I want to get this finished so…"

Ever since Ethan had moved back into the main house he had been doing odd jobs. The house which had looked abit worn was now freshly painted and everything worked.

"Lexi is bringing her here. I can't go over there. I seen him last time." he fumed. "If I go there and see him again I'm likely to kill him." he murmured.

"So you and Lex?" Missy started.

"There is no me and Lex Miss. She wants Xander so she can have him. She better not come crying to me if it all goes wrong and he hurts her coz I don't wanna know! As long as I can see my kids as often as I can then them I'm fine."

"How're the kids taking it?"

He exhaled. "They're teenagers. Old enough to understand. Zoey misses me a lot. Phones everyday. I might start popping in once a night. See I have always gave her a goodnight kiss. From the day she was born. She grumbled about it but I think she misses it."

Missy smiled. "You're a good dad Ethan."

"Obviously not a good enough husband though. You know I genuinely thought we'd last forever. That we were strong. And all this time she was looking for something better. I mean she's my wife. You have hard times in marriages but that doesn't mean you give up and look for something easier!" he wished he could just turn off his feelings. He still loved her, why he had no idea he just did. He realised that earlier he had been adamant that he didn't wanna say a word to Missy and she couldn't get a word in. She would have made a brilliant therapist.

"Ethan, some marriages and I'm talking from a child's point of view….look if there was anything wrong and I'm not saying that there as the kids would have known. Maybe this separation is a good thing in a way. It allows you some space to clear your heads and work out if you still love each other and if you do where you want to go from there. My parents stayed together for us. Did the couples counselling I was Ethan's age at the time. They never said a harsh in front of us but I knew something was wrong."

Which was why she hadn't been able to tall them what was happening to her she thought.

"Use this time to think about what you from Lexi. As a man and husband. Try to leave the kids out of it coz we both know that whether or not you and Lexi are together you will always have access to the kids. Don't stay together for them coz that only makes it worse coz they'll know."

Ethan nodded. If he had been able to think objectively he would have known that too.

"How could she throw us away Miss?" he finally said. "We had something really good. Something special."

"I think that is something you need to ask her Ethan." Missy told him softly.

"Dad!" a voice yelled. He was on his feet at the sound of his daughters voice.

"Hey Zo." she ran into his arms and he swung her around.

"I've missed you at home dad." she told him.

"I'm a phone call away if you need me. Anytime day or night." he promised. Put the paint away. "Anyway angel what have you been up to?"

She started rattling off the things she'd been up to at school since she seen him last. He had set up a routine where he had an afternoon with Zoey alone. An afternoon with Ethan alone and a full day on the weekend with both of them. He also had an afternoon with the both of them every second week. He hated not being able to see them when he wanted.

They had been sat together for an hour when her phone beeped.

"I gotta call dad, can I take it?" she asked.

He nodded. "I'm just gonna…."

She nodded and picked up while he went to the bathroom.

He walked back towards the kitchen a few minutes later and heard Zoey talking in hushed low tones.

"Look I'm at my dad's, if he knew I was talking to an older boy he would freak!"

She paused.

"He wouldn't care that your only 17. He'd dismember you swift!" she retorted. Ethan's fists clenched but he stayed in control. He was just about to cough when her next statement nearly floored him.

"No I liked that you kissed me but…."

Ethan saw red. Was beside her in a second and grabbed her phone. "Who do you think you are laying your 17 year old hands on my 14 year old daughter? You better hope I don't find out who you are or you'll find yourself missing some major appendages!" he warned icily.

Zoey stared at home in horror as he disconnected. "Ohmigod dad! Could you have embarrassed me anymore?" she shrieked.

He stared at her. " 17 Zoey!"

"I like him dad." she told him. Nearly pleading at home to understand.

"You aren't seeing him again!" he told her.

She crossed her arm's. A stubborn light came into her eyes. "You can't stop me!"

"Your only 14 years old. Far too young to have a boyfriend never mind a 17 year old boyfriend!"

Zoey glared at him mutinously. "It's not like I'm gonna sleep with him!" she declared.

Ethan's face turned purple. "Right we're going to talk to your mother right now!"

(X)

Ethan walked into the house. Saw Lexi on the phone.

"Another one talking to men on the phone." he breathed. This was doing his head right in!

Lexi turned. "Ethan. Is everything ok?" put the phone down.

"Zo sit down." he said.

"Dad."

"SIT!" she dropped to a chair and crossed her arms petulantly.

"Lex our daughter has a …wait for it…17 year old boyfriend!"

Lexi turned to Zoey. "You what?"

Zoey tutted. "It isn't a big deal!"

"You talk to her Lex coz I tried." he said.

"Zoey your too young." Lexi started.

"He say's I'm mature for my age." she told them with a smile.

Ethan understood the hidden meaning in that. Clenched his fists tightly.

"Swift wouldn't hurt me dad. Honest. He said he loves me."

"O this just keeps getting better." Ethan said sarcastically. "He is so dead!"

"No dad don't. He cares about me. We've been seeing each other for 3 months now. He's so sweet. He matters to me dad." she told him sincerely.

"3 months?" he asked it was almost a squeak.

Lexi covered her eyes with her hand.

"He better not have touched you!" Ethan warned.

"Dad he lov…."

"For gods sake Zo stop saying he loves you! I know 17 year old boys and news flash….they lie a lot!"

"He wouldn't lie to me dad!" she said confidently.

"Zoey 17 year old boys only want one thing!"

"He's willing to wait till I'm ready." she countered.

"You mean you spoke about this already?" he asked in complete disbelief.

She looked embarrassed and fidgeted. "Well yeah. I told him I wasn't ready. He was shocked but ok with it. I just didn't want to and as soon as I said no he backed off."

Lexi saw Ethan's fists start to twitch. O god Ethan was about 5 seconds from going to find this Swift.

"What happens if he's decided he's waited long enough?" Ethan asked through clenched teeth.

Zoey frowned. "He wouldn't he loves me."

Ethan was breathing heavily. "Your too intelligent to fall for the I love you line Zo!" he hissed.

Zoey who was a combination of her mother and father in temperament hit the end of her tether when her dad implied she was stupid. "Mum did!" she snapped. "I'll know when someone is lying to me unlike her!"

"What?" Ethan asked confused.

"You say you love all of us but you left!"

"Zo look…" Ethan started.

"Go away from me dad and I'm still seeing Swift whether you like it or not!" she rose from her chair and walked away from them.

"Over my dead body!" he warned going to follow his daughter.

"Ethan calm down." Lexi said as Zoey walked into her bedroom. "She's hard-headed like you. You both just need to calm down then you'll see clearly." Lexi told him.

"O I'm seeing clearly Lex I see myself tearing this Swift to bits! Slowly and carefully!" he fumed and paced agitated.

"That won't accomplish anything except make your daughter hate you." Lexi warned.

"My daughter already hates me thanks to you! Tell me Lex how long did it take you to start poisoning her against me?"

Lexi's eyes narrowed. "Don't even go there!" she warned.

"Where do you expect me to go? She was a daddies girl one minute and now she believes I don't love her!"

"That isn't my fault!" Lexi told him.

"Excuse me?" he asked in disgust. "Need I remind you?"

Lexi exhaled. "Look, I had fights like this with my dad all the time as you no doubt remember. Nothing changes the fact that she loves you. That you're her father."

"Not according to you." he muttered crossing his arms.

"You wanna repeat that?" she asked angrily.

"Not. According. To. You!" he said slowly and carefully.

"I'm not even going to ask what you mean by that coz I know you don't mean what I think you mean!"

"I remember what you said when you were pregnant Lex!"

"So your bringing that up? If you want a reason to leave them Ethan I won't give you one!" she warned.

"Me looking for a reason to leave?" he asked angrily.

"Well aren't you? How could you bring that up?" she fumed.

"You said it Lex not me!"

"Yeah 15 years ago. When I was a kid! What excuse do you have now for being a jerk?"

"This is all your fault! We were happy!" he spat.

"That's the point Ethan I wasn't happy ok!"

Ethan stood there quietly absorbing her words. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked in a quiet voice. "I could have done something."

"Coz I didn't even appear on your radar Ethan." she said sadly. She rested her head on her palm. Thinking of the days when she'd come home and feel like he couldn't see her. How his eyes didn't light up when they used to at the sight of her. Remembered the isolation of lying next to her husband and feeling like they miles instead of mere centimetres apart. "I didn't Ethan, it was like I wasn't even here anymore. Like I didn't exist."

Lexi and Ethan sat in silence for a while.

"What happened to us?" he whispered. Sitting down. Her sad words had quenched the anger inside him. It seemed she was genuinely upset by what they had lost.

She looked at him. "We lost it Ethan. We just lost it. I don't know how…."

He nodded understanding completely.

"So do you think…"

"Might be for the best." she said anticipating his next question.

He exhaled. It looked like he was getting a divorce. Freaking fabulous!

"I'm gonna see if I can make up with Zo before I go." he told her softly.

He walked down the corridor and shook his head trying to dispel the sadness that was running through him. He rolled his shoulders and then knocked on his daughters bedroom door.

"Zo." he said. "Can I come in?"

He heard a male voice and scrambling. He opened the door and saw a young man trying to climb through the window. The man froze.

"Swift I presume?" Ethan asked coldly.

**A/N oooooooo ethan is gonna lose it :/ he is soooo having abad time atm. lexi too. keep reading coz this goes much furthur with zo and swift especially oooo r u intrigued by my plans? x**


	6. Ultimatums

"Swift I presume?" Ethan asked coldly.

The lad blanched. Ethan was beside him in a second grabbed the collar of his t-shirt.

"Hello, I'm Zoey's dad!" he pulled him back through the window. Swift slid across Zoey's desk which was in front of her window. The contents of the desk hit the floor with a chorus of clatters and thuds.

"NO DAD!" Zoey screamed and grabbed his arm.

Swift just stared at Ethan in shock.

"Did you know she's 14?" Ethan snarled and threw the lad against a wall. Held him there.

Lexi ran in and saw Ethan holding a lad against the wall. The lad looked about 5 seconds from passing out. She exhaled. "For Gods sake Ethan put him down!"

"You will leave my underage daughter alone do you hear me!" Ethan told him coldly.

"No he won't dad!" Zoey said defiantly.

"Zoey!" Swift pleaded.

"You will not say her name!" Ethan said forcefully. "You will forget she exists!"

"Right Ethan get out of here right now!" Lexi pulled Ethan off Swift who looked at her thankfully.

"Don't look at me like that. The only reason I stopped him from tearing you apart is because Zoey will hate her dad. Not for you!" Lexi told Swift.

"I've warned you boy!" Ethan said coldly.

Swift walked away. He looked back when he saw Ethan's back turned and mouthed 'I'll call you' to Zoey.

Ethan turned and saw him. "O he just doesn't get it!" Ethan fumed. "I think I'll have to teach him!"

"Ethan no!"

"Dad no!" came simultaneously from the woman in the house.

Swift ran from the house and Ethan followed him until he almost knocked a man he didn't recognises over. He stopped chasing Swift. Surveyed the man. He was young, and was smiling good looking he supposed well he could understand if a woman found him good looking.

Lexi walked from Zoey's room and the man walked over took her in his arms and kissed Lexi. Ethan realised that this must be Xander. Looked at him with a murderous expression.

"Who is your friend Alexis?" Xander asked.

Alexis? Ethan thought. Since when?

Lexi looked at him clearly uncomfortable. She brought this on herself and he waited for her to answer. When she stalled he took it upon himself. Took a step forward. "I am Alexis's husband!"

"Ok I'm Xander." he said blandly.

"O I know who you are!" Ethan retorted.

"Why the hostility man?" Xander asked calmly.

Ethan laughed without humour. "You walk in MY house. Put you hands all over MY wife and you wonder why I'm being hostile? I'm being very restrained….man!"

Xander nodded and shrugged dismissively.

Ethan was losing patience. "Think about it for a minute!" he suggested coldly.

Xander shrugged again. "She said you were over."

Ethan glared at Lexi. "You said separation to me!"

"I also told you we were over!" Lexi retorted.

He was all geared up for another argument but decided to leave. "I'm off. Xander, I'd say it was nice to meet you but I'm not feeling cordial so I'll say go screw yourself!"

Xander's eyes darkened. Lexi put her hand on his arm and shook her head.

"Lexi." he looked at her and shrugged. "Nothing I really wanna say to you." except maybe curl up and die for hurting him the way she was.

He shoved passed Xander towards Zoey's room. "Zoey." he looked. She wasn't there. He saw a note.

_'You can't stop me being with Swift. I'm going and never coming back!'_

He exhaled. "Oh no." he breathed and walked from the room. Thrust the note at lexi. "She's gone!" he said and walked from the house.

"She'll be ok." Xander soothed as Lexi stared at the note.

"I know Xander her dad will find her and bring her home." she told him. She had complete faith in Ethan.

(X)

Ethan was outside looking at footprints. He saw 2 sets going off in opposite directions. Clever child he didn't want her following her. He rang her phone. It rang off.

"Zo it's dad come home and we'll talk. I'm calm now and I'll listen I promise baby. You shouldn't be in the bush by yourself honey. It's dangerous. Just come home please." he left a message and followed the footprints.

After following both sets of footprints he was heading back alone. They had both led to dead ends. He felt sick. It was going to be dark soon. The house came into his sights. He walked up the steps to tell Lexi.

"I followed both sets of footprints Lex." he shook his head.

She gasped. He rubbed his face.

"Have you called the police yet?" he asked.

She nodded. "They are on the way."

Ethan looked around.

"I told him to go. I thought we could talk alone when you brought her back." she breathed heavily. Trying to tamp down the panic she felt at her daughter being alone in the bush at night.

"EJ?"

"Staying at his friends from football."

He nodded and noticed Lexi was shaking. "Don't worry Lex, we'll find her."

There was a heavy knock at the door. Ethan went to open it.

**A/N i am rather disgusted at the shortness of this chapter. grrrr anyways zoey has ran away? wot is goin 2 happen and where will she end up? bk at home or somewhere else, somewhere far worse maybe? x**


	7. Where is she?

Daniel was down in the surgery. Nothing to report at all. Everything was hunky dory. He thought back to his reward chart all those years ago. It had helped him more than he let on. It gave him something to aim for. His love of animals he had inherited from his mother. Spending time in here with her as a youngster, seeing her interact with them. The respect she gave them and it seemed they gave to her in return. God he missed his mother. 15 years now and at times it felt as raw as the day he found out. Don't get him wrong he loved Missy and was grateful for her support, love and guidance but she wasn't his mum. There were times he really needed her and thought of her often. She kept him focused and grounded. His above average intelligence had alerted people who wanted to use him for his brain. He knew his mum wanted him to do something he loved. He followed in his parents footsteps and became a vet. He felt her beside him as he graduated. Felt her love and pride. The day had been almost perfect….almost. So now he dealt with blood and guts on a daily basis. Not a cushy desk job with plenty of money but he was happy. Especially to be home.

Actually he would be fully happy to be home if their visitor wasn't here! He was irritated by her. Everywhere he looked she was there. Scooping the place out.

"Hello Daniel I came to check on the animals." Amy said walking towards him.

And here she was again! He couldn't escape anywhere! "I'm the vet here thank you." he replied dryly.

"I need the practice. I'm in my 3rd year." she said smiling as she looked in the cages.

"Yeah right!"

She spouted off technical jargon that no civilian would know.

"Memorised from a first year text book, not hard!"

"Why don't you like me Daniel?" Amy asked.

"I got a BAD feeling about you. Why turn up after all these years?"

"Coz Danny brought me up for the first six years of my life." she snapped.

"Lucky you." he retorted. Felt bitter that she had his dad when he should have been at home.

"Don't blame me for the crash. I lost a lot!" she told him icily.

"So did I!" he hissed.

"Oh boo hoo. You got your dad back. I got dumped on my aunt as soon as he got sick of me!" she fumed. Her true feelings coming through slightly.

"You know nothing about him Amy so go back to where you came from!"

"Danny said I could stay as long as I wanted!" she said smugly.

"Yeah out of obligation. When he gets sick of you he'll throw you away again." Daniel said meanly.

"Don't count on it!" she warned. No one threw her away again.

"Are you making a threat against my family?" he asked coldly.

"No." she said brightly. "Just he won't get sick of me. Remember Daniel I'm his long lost daughter."

"Your not!" Daniel told her. "Your nothing to us!"

She smiled smugly. Confident she pushed him far enough.

"I'm warning you Amy."

"You warning me?" she asked with a laugh. "Oh I'm scared!"

"Not of me. Amie. She's in the secret service. She'll know a hundred ways to kill you and not leave a mark!" he grinned.

She paled.

He smiled wider. "Have a nice day I'm gonna give my little sister a call."

"You do that!" she said defiantly.

(X)

Melissa was on the phone to Alison. "Those designs?" she asked.

"He liked them…."

"But?" Missy sensed a but.

"Not what he's looking for."

"Again? I've redone them 4 times. Each time he doesn't want them. What else can I do?"

"He's being an awkward old man Miss."

"Should I come over and work my charm on him?" Missy asked.

"Could help Miss."

She nodded. "I'll arrange a flight I know the accountant wants to see me too. I got a dozen emails off him. I suppose I can't hide anymore."

"Ok Miss. See you in a few days then."

Missy pressed disconnect.

"BOO!" a voice yelled from behind her. She jumped. Then felt a sharp pain in the centre of her chest for a second. Her hand rushed to the spot.

"Miss?" Danny asked worriedly.

"It's just indigestion Danny." she said breathlessly. Felt a sharp pain run down her left arm. Rubbed it absently.

He looked at her.

"Honest I'm fine. Ready to run a five minute mile."

He arched a brow amused.

"Ok 5 hour mile." she conceded smiling.

He still looked dubious.

"Fine 5 day mile!"

"Much better." he said then gave her a puppy dog look. "I heard you say you were going."

She put her arms on his shoulders. "I gotta go honey, he's an insane old coot and his wife is an old bat. Their goal in life is to torture, me. I've redone their deigns about 5 times and they are never happy." pressed a kiss to his lips. "I need to talk to my accountant too. Major snore. I dread it actually. He just keeps throwing numbers at me and I'm like huh?"

"Stay home Miss. Last time you were gone for a week." his arms were around her waist and he was looking in her eyes.

"I don't want to go honey but it's my job."

He nodded. They had argued about this a lot at the beginning. He loved her enough to know that her job was important to her. "What am I going to do without you?"

"Try not to turn Ryan into a couch potato huh. I swear I got back last time and you had almost reverted back to Neanderthals using grunts as a means of communication."

"Ung urg me." he said sweetly.

"Me too." she promised and met him halfway. Kissed him lovingly. "I don't wanna go now!" she moaned.

"Stay then. You know I'll make it worth your while." he smiled at her and she thought that his grin was adorable.

"As much as that offer is tempting me Danny and it really is I gotta go and sort psycho clients and then suffer death by accountants. Who knows if I'll even make it home!" she said dramatically. "I better go and sort my flight and accommodation…." she added.

He exhaled. "I hate that you have to go!"

"I'll be back soon. Promise." she nuzzled his neck.

"Something would cheer me right up." he told her.

"I'll do anything." she promised.

He wiggled his eyebrows and she rolled her eyes. "Tell me."

"How about setting a date?" he suggested.

"We'll talk when I get back. Have a think. I'll have a think then we'll pool our ideas yeah."

He smiled and nodded. Pulled her close for a lingering kiss. "Love you Miss." he trailed a finger down her cheek.

She wrapped her arms around him. Her head rested on his chest. "I love you too Danny. Always." she listened to his heart for a minute. The strong steady beat. She reluctantly pulled away.

"I know. I know. You gotta sort stuff. Not fair but I'll live with it."

"I'll be back before you know it. Annoying you no doubt."

He smiled.

She went to walk away and looked back.

"Hey Danny Ethan didn't come home last night. He left in a hurry too."

"It's probably nothing Miss. Maybe he and Lex made up?"

Missy smiled. "Yeah. He's miserable without her." she walked towards her room and glanced out of the front door. Saw Amy and Daniel arguing by the surgery.

"Uh oh Danny look at this!"

He walked and looked. Saw Amy and Daniel pointing and gesturing angrily.

"Never a dull moment huh?" she asked.

"Lex and Eth all over again!" he muttered. She grinned.

(X)

"I'm warning you you put one hand on me again…" Amy hissed.

"Excuse me? Next time I'll let you fall on your face. I was being a gentlemen!"

"C'mon kids," Danny said walking towards them. "You 21 and 22 not babies. If you can't get along can't you at least be civil to each other?"

Amy glared at Daniel who glared back.

"What happened?" Danny asked.

"He grabbed me!" Amy declared.

Daniel's mouth opened in disgust. She made him sound like a perve or something! He got angry.

"She tripped dad. I was stopping her from falling on her face."

"What ran through your mind Daniel?" she asked angrily.

"Trust me. Nothing. It'd take more than you!"

She glared.

"Daniel!" Danny warned.

"Like I'd let you near me anyway. I wouldn't even let you pet my dog. Your that far down the chain! Slightly higher than a slug! And even then I'd have to think about it!"

Danny bit his tongue to stop laughing at Daniels face.

"Um…ok kids. Time out!" he said trying to contain laughter - badly.

Amy gave Danny a wry smile. Then her face froze and she chided herself.

"I'm going back to my animals when I get up to the house I expect you to be gone!"

Amy grinned. "No way Daniel." she walked away with an air of superiority. She had it down pat! Danny thought. Head held high. Her saunter loose. She looked like she owned the place.

(X)

Ethan paced. He had paced all night. Lexi was sat wringing her hands so much he expected them to be creased. The police had came and announced their version of the amber alert. Took a set of her clothes for sniffer dogs and a description of what she was wearing. Zoey was officially a missing child.

Ethan exhaled at those words.

The phone rang and Lexi dived for it.

"For Gods sake Xander go to hell!" she snapped and threw the phone across the room. "Dammit where is she?" she started to pace like Ethan.

"She's smart Lex." Ethan told her. "She'll be home soon."

"Not according to you!" Lexi spat.

"Lex don't start this again!" he asked. "She's my daughter too!"

"Again not according to you!"

"You know what if you'd rather be alone just tell me!" he turned.

"No Ethan please don't go….." wrapped her arms around herself and exhaled. "I'm so worried about her." her voice broke. "She's 14 but still a baby in so many ways. She has no idea what to expect." she began to cry softly.

He walked over and hugged her by the fireplace. A picture of the kids at 10 and 12 hung there. They both looked young and happy.

"She's so impulsive and hot headed Ethan." Lexi said heartbroken.

"She's smart, knows her own mind. We brought her up right. She'll be home soon!" he repeated.

EJ walked into the house, passed the living room. Frowned at his parents faces.

"Mum, dad?" he asked softly.

(X)

"Right Danny I'm off." Missy said.

"Ry come and give mum a hug." Danny called.

Ryan's head appeared from his bedroom door. "Um no." he said with a grin. She'd smother him. And probably kiss him. Yuck!

"Aw c'mon baby cakes." Missy said.

Ryan wrinkled his nose in distaste at the endearment.

"If I do will you stop calling me that?" he negotiated.

"Sure thing." she had plenty more baby names for him.

He tutted and walked over. She pulled him close and smothered him.

"Argh mum - no don't bother!" he declared he knew what she had planned.

She pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Please don't do that again!" he rubbed his cheek vigorously.

"Aw but I love you baby!"

Ryan glared at her. "You promised!"

"I promised not to say baby cakes!" she countered.

He looked mutinous. She grinned. "See you in a bit son."

"Go find a better sense of humour while your away!" he muttered.

Missy burst out laughing as Ryan disappeared back into his room. "Did you hear what he said to me? ME?"

Danny grinned. "He hasn't got a clue has he?"

She shook her head.

"My accountant said with all the stuff we have I could be there for a couple of days. No more than 4 I promise."

"4 days." he said sadly.

"I'll call you ok. I'm at Shay's."

"First place I'd check."

"She told me to get there. Cathy has just had her twins. Identical boys."

"I bet James is happy. He's no longer outnumbered." he exhaled. "So…" he added seductively. "How long do I have for goodbye?"

"5 minutes…my taxi is on the way."

"More time then I will need." he murmured pulling her close. Kissed her heatedly. Heard a beep.

"Where's my 5 minutes?" he whispered hoarse.

"hold that thought!" she whispered smiling.

"For 4 days? I'll explode." he told her seriously.

"You'll cope dear." she went for her case but he grabbed it.

"I'll phone as soon as I get off the plane." she promised. She knew he still felt slight nerves.

He nodded and kissed her softly.

"Bye love." he told her sadly.

"Bye." she climbed in the car and drove away. He heard the phone ringing and dashed into the house.

"Hello." he said. "Daniel Trevanion."

"Dad." Lexi said tears in her voice.

"Lex?" he whispered anxiously "What's wrong?"

(X)

Danny was reeling. Lexi had told him everything. She was absolutely distraught. Zoey was missing! He put his hand over his mouth. Then ran it through his hair. She had just ran off. No sign of her. She just vanished. Like she had never existed. The police had been informed. Lexi had heard them talking. Their supervisor was worried. People trafficking. Zoey was a pretty girl. A pretty teenage girl and they were apparently in high demand. They were transported across the country and sold into slavery. Prostitution. Married off to the highest bidder. Danny felt sick. If anyone touched her….he exhaled.

He walked wont to the surgery realising that there was nothing to distract himself with. Daniel had seen to the hospital. Ethan had fixed everything in the house and Missy was in Glasgow. He was at a loose end for the first time since living here he disliked it. He wondered if there as anything to be done in the bush. Caroline would kick his ass if he called them. Dupe was getting on and she was trying to keep him out of the bush. Evan did all the tracking now. He wandered aimlessly around his hospital. He hoped Zoey was safe wherever she was! He worried that she was a lot like Lexi at times. Her mouth ran away with her and got her in trouble. She was stubborn to the point of insanity sometimes. He supposed that would be the thing that kept her alive… or get her killed if she ended up in the wrong hands!

**A/N oooooo danny's thoughts there didn't sound too good did it? Let's just hope they r wrong huh? x**


	8. Big Trouble

Zoey had climbed out of one of her bedroom windows. No one was keeping her away from Swift! She knew she loved him! She could feel it deep inside! She followed his footprints and text him. They met up at their meeting spot.

"Are you gonna do what I asked Zoey?" he asked. She led him somewhere they could stay that night.

"I don't want to leave for good Swift." she told him.

He looked at her annoyed. Usually 14 year olds were willing to do anything to keep their boyfriends but she refused to comply with his veiled hints and threats.

"They'll never accept us Zo." he told her.

"They are my parents Swift. About my dad I'm sorry he did that. I warned you not to come inside. He's going through a hard time. With my mum and things."

"I'd kick off too if I had a daughter as gorgeous as you."

She smiled widely at his line. It worked every time! He thought evilly.

"So c'mon. Come, run away with me. We'll be happy. You know how much I love you."

Zoey got tingles whenever he said that to her. "I would if I could but I don't wanna…."

"I know your not ready for that yet and I respect you."

His friends had so better appreciate this girl! Hopefully she would get him out of some trouble with a very nasty man, wipe the slate clean. He liked young girls. Had a way of keeping them close too. He hated to do it to her but it was necessary!

"How about we hang out tonight and then I'll go back to mum and dad tomorrow morning?" she suggested.

"Where is here?" he asked.

"Lookout point, I like it. My dad used to bring me and Ethan here a lot when we were younger. Not so much now. The fire station keeps him busy."

Swift nodded and kept quiet.

(X) The Next Morning

Zoey left Swift and began to walk home. It was still early. She moved quietly towards the house and heard their voices. They sounded worried. Not her best idea! She couldn't worry them like this anymore.

She heard her dad's voice clearly. "She's my daughter too!"

"Not according to you!" her mother replied quickly with no hesitation.

Zoey froze and her jaw dropped. "Christ he isn't my dad?" she backed off quickly. Not wanting to hear anymore. How could they do this to her? And worse if he wasn't her dad who the hell was? Why lie to her, her entire life? She'd never trust them again! She arrived back at the lookout point.

"C'mon Swift. I'll go with you. Wherever you want. There's nothing for me here!"

He was awake and ready to leave in seconds. He was very eager which would have alerted her if she had been more experienced.

"Why the change of heart?" he asked.

"No reason." except she had no father!

They had left lookout point and was away within 5 minutes.

(X)

"Swift where are you taking me? And should you even be driving?" Zoey asked.

He was allowed to drive. His real age being 21. "It's ok I have my learners permit." he lied.

She frowned confused.

"Don't worry you are safe with me." he assured her.

They were in a dark poor area of Jo'burg. The buildings derelict. None of the lamps worked and there was graffiti everywhere. He pulled the car to a stop.

"I'll just wait in the car." she told him. With the doors and windows locked!

"I couldn't leave you here by yourself." he gushed. "C'mon I have you. You'll be fine." he coaxed. "I've taken care of you the last 3 months haven't I?"

She nodded and climbed from the car. He grabbed her hand tight and pulled her inside a building. She looked around wearily. They climbed stairs. It stank in that building.

Meanwhile all Swift felt was anticipation and adrenaline. Maybe they would give him extra for her! He could hardly wait!

They walked inside a room and Zoey was shocked. She saw people lying on mattresses that were badly soiled with blood, vomit and other nasty looking stains that she didn't wanna examine. Swift had left her and was talking to a man a little way away. Swift pointed to her. A different man began to talk to her.

"Hey baby I'll give you some stuff if you come and give me some fun. I can be very generous with you if you are very generous with me!" he had greasy straggly hair. He was on a mattress with a satisfied smile next to a half dressed woman. He was watching a tape in which he was…. She paled at the woman on the scream. She was obviously in pain and he was loving it.

"Ohmigod you sick freak!" she gasped. She started to back off when he walked towards her with an evil smile. His was murmuring to her, the things he was saying were becoming more obscene. Her eyes widened and her jaw fell open. Did people actually agree to do that stuff?

"L…L…look you st.. stay away from me. My dad will kill you!" she said voice shaking.

"Daddy isn't here honey. I am. Do you wanna call me daddy?" he patted his jeans where his erection was.

"Back off Jericho!" Swift hissed grabbed Zoey's hand.

"Thank God you saved me do you realise what he wanted to do to me let's go!" Zoey told him.

He pulled her further into the building ignored her protest.

She saw a person withering in pain on a mattress and a…ohmigod a needle hung out their arm.. She tried to yank her hand out of Swift's but he held tight. Like a man possessed. She was dragged beside a man dressed in a cheap suit.

"I really want to go!" she repeated.

"Swift we have been looking for you!" the badly dressed man said menacingly.

"I brought payment!" Swift said happily.

"It's a lot of money!" the man said coldly.

"Her!"

"ME?" Zoey squeaked. "Fuck you!" she hit out at him.

Badly dressed suit guy smiled. "Let me call the boss!"

"Let go of me Swift!" she fumed and fought harder. Screamed at him.

"Sorry Zoey they were gonna kill me!"

Badly dressed suit guy returned. "The boss her heard her yelling. He likes passion and fire. He'll try her out."

Try me out? Zoey thought panicked.

"So is my debt cleared?" Swift asked.

The man went into his pockets.

Swift started salivating at the thought of what he thought he was about to receive.

"In full!" Badly dressed suit guy said calmly. Then he produced a gun.

"Since you brought the girl he told me to do it quick!"

The man raised the gun and shot Swift between the eyes. Zoey's own eyes widened and she stopped fighting. Swift lay on the floor unmoving. His blood had splattered on her arm. She rubbed her vigorously. She was in shock breathing heavily.

"It's ok sweet cheeks. He was a dirty druggie anyway." the man said putting his gun away.

"B…b…b…" she couldn't speak.

"C'mon the boss wants to see you."

Zoey snapped out of it. "No way!" she tried to back away but Swifts body blocked her path.

"Your our payment. We deserve our merchandise!"

Zoey yanked her hand away. "I'm no one's merchandise!"

He held tightly. So tight she thought her fingers were going to be crushed.

"Your lucky the boss doesn't want you marked. Bruises aren't becoming!" he warned. "I should warn you if he don't like you he'll kill you."

She fought and he grabbed her hair yanked her along. She winced and tears popped into her eyes.

"Oh crying for me sweet cheeks?" he chuckled.

"Fuck you!" she spat.

"If you really want to!" he grinned at her. "You know if the boss don't like you I might have a try myself!" he laughed. Threw her in the back of a car. Leather interior. He got in the front and locked the doors. She looked and there was no lock. She pounded the window.

He tossed her a clear packet with white powder inside. Zoey looked at it.

"What's this?" she asked.

"It's what your friends Swift was killed for."

"Drugs?" she squeaked and threw it on the floor. She wanted nothing to do with it!

"The boss will be pleased. Your clean. He dislikes druggies."

"He's the one who makes them druggies!" she yelled. Looked around for another escape.

"No sweet cheeks. He supplies the stuff. He don't make them take it. We fill a need. Like McDonalds and cigarette company's. We are no different from any of them. They are addictive and will kill you eventually. Same as us." he said rationally. "Do you see a difference sweetcheeks?

"They are legal!" she spat.

"O he is gonna love you sweet cheeks." he said with a grin.

"Can't you let me go?" she asked. "I won't tell no one." she was showing her age here. She was scared.

"O don't worry sweet cheeks we'll take care of you now. Sorry but your our merch and we deserve a little try of you!"

She covered her face to try and hide the fear she was sure showed clearly.

(X)

They pulled up to a huge house. She looked at it and gulped. Badly dressed suit gut showed his ID and then was let inside. The gates clanged closed behind them.

She swallowed thickly. Think Zoey think!

"Remember sweet cheeks. He don't like you, your dead. Simple. He's done it before. I've done it before on his orders." he so got a kick out of his job. She could tell!

She rubbed her face. Her face scared.

"I'm sure he'll like you." he tried to reassure her. She felt anything but. She was screwed either way!

(X)

Zoey walked into an opulent room. She had been forced to wait out here for half an hour. She thought she was gonna pass out from stress!

"Ah my payment has arrived." a man said slowly jovially. He was young, black and dressed in trendy clothes. He had light brown eyes and black hair. He was lounging in a large leather chair. His arms rested casually on the arms of the chair.

"I'm Zoey. I'm no ones payment!" she immediately told him then cursed her loose tongue.

He smiled showing his teeth. They gleamed white and straight. He looked like a lion just there. Just before it was about to pounce!

"Your white I see!" he said disappointment tinged his tone.

"And your not!" she retorted.

He glared. Nodded at a man beside him. A man walked quickly towards her and pushed her so she was on her knees.

"Much better. A white girl where she belongs!" he boomed happily. Laughed a little.

She had no retort for that. Decided to stay quiet. She thought it might be for the best if she didn't provoke him. She didn't want to die.

"O you ran out so quickly. I am disappointed!"

"Easily amused then. Been using your own merchandise?" she asked angrily. Way to go Zo, try NOT to provoke him IDIOT!

He strode over and back handed her. It stang but she refused to cry. Again disappointed covered his face. He liked to see people hurt by his hand. He was in two minds whether or not to keep her. She was a dirty white girl but she was strong. It would be so fulfilling to see her snap. To break her. He felt pleasure fill him at the mere thought. Had to stop himself from getting aroused by it.

"I have no need for my stuff!" he said smugly. "I get my pleasure from insignificant little people like you. And you know what. No one cares or tries to stop me!"

She looked up at him. "Not from me you don't!" she fumed.

"Ah but that makes the conquest all the sweeter!" he told her. He exhaled. "But no. I dislike white girls. They are too willing to do anything I ask." he huffed. It was true. He wouldn't have to break her. She would do it willingly. He disliked submissive girls. He like fighting and violence.

"I like resistance. And you are so very obviously 16 maybe. So you will have been spoiled. No it won't do!" he said dismissively to himself.

"Sir she is only 13. Swift assured me." badly dressed suit guy told him.

He smiled wider. "Now if you are young it changes everything." he lifted her chain. Her hands were being held behind her back by his minion.

He lifted her chin looked in her eyes. "Yes. I can see the baby fat still in your cheeks. Your eyes through angry are innocent. Will you resist me my dear?" he smiled menacingly.

Then she made the biggest mistake ever. Probably in her life. She spat in his face. He was enraged. He laid into her she tried to fight back but her jailor kept her restrained. She lay on the floor as he finished. Drifting.

"White girls know no class! See that disgusting display!" he boomed wiping her blood away using a hanky. "Take her away. Dispose of her. I have no use for her. I don't even wish to sell her. She deserves her fate!" she was pulled to her feet.

"Wait!" the boss said and gave her one last menacing smile.

"Dispose of her where she will never be found. I never wanna hear of her ever again!" he spat and gave her a final look of disgust.

"Goodbye Zoey!" he hissed her name with disdain.

"I'll see you in hell!" she retorted as she was pulled away.

**A/N i've been sorta nasty to her this chapter. she thinks ethan isn't her dad, is taken to a crack den and propositioned finds out she is being treated as property and then the sociopath she was jst up against :/**

**zoey zoey zoey what can i say then? bye bye maybe? lex and ethan r gonna b heartbroken :(**


	9. Dead or Alive

Missy sat on the plane. Not long now. She felt sick! And hot. Really hot! She felt really ill actually. The sweat was pouring off her. She had felt a little ill over the last few days and now it was amplified by about a million. Probably a 24 hour bug thing. She controlled her breathing to stop feeling sick. It didn't help. Felt a shooting pain across her chest. Took more deep cleansing breaths. Her head started to feel groggy and really light headed. She closed her eyes to try and steady herself.

"You ok?" a man beside her asked.

She nodded vigorously. Unable to talk.

The plane finally came into land and Missy was sure she wasn't gonna last without passing out completely. Her whole body felt like it was on fire that was how hot she felt. As the seconds ticked by she felt herself slowly getting worse. She rested her head against the seat in front of her. She'd be fine when she got off the plane and out in the fresh air. Felt herself black out for a second. Stay with it Miss! Inhale - exhale! She was focused on putting one foot in front of the other. All her energy and will power was the only thing keeping her upright. She knew it wasn't going to last forever which was why she had to get outside! Her breathing was growing shallower with every step she took. She had her hand rested on her hot forehead as she walked through the terminal.

(X)

Shauna waited for Missy at the airport. Checked her watch.

She saw a woman who resembled Missy slightly but it couldn't be her. She looked terrible.

"Missy." Shauna yelled and walked towards her.

Missy was rubbing her arm absently. She was deathly pale and seemed distracted.

Shauna frowned as they moved closer.

(X)

Missy was rubbing her arm, she had a shooting pain down there that was a really starting to hurt! Her head was getting lighter. Someone was stood in front of her. Speaking to her. Missy looked at her, realised it was Shauna. Wondered why her mouth was moving but no sound was coming out. Her shoulders were slumped and she was breathing in quick shallow little breaths. Sweat dripped into her eyes but she felt so weak she couldn't lift her hand to wipe it off her forehead. Shauna was starting to get agitated but Missy couldn't make it out what she was saying. She needed to talk instead of just moving her mouth! The blood was roaring through her ears. She couldn't hear anything else. Her heart which had been pounding suddenly beat staccato and stopped for a second. The whole of the airport began to shake and wobble. People were staring at her but she was so out of it she didn't care! Shauna had her hands on her shoulders shaking softly and yelling obviously. A sharp pain engulfed her chest. Sharper than anything she had ever felt in her life. She inhaled sharply but couldn't breath. Her eyes rolled back in her head and she felt herself falling. She finally heard Shauna's voice. "MELISSA!" she yelled terrified.

(X)

Missy sat on a cloud. In her quiet place in her head. How she was sitting on the cloud was beyond her. She always assumed that clouds were these things with no consistency. It was nice sitting here though. Like sitting on a chair of cotton wool. She looked over the edge expecting to see a clear blue ocean, like she usually did in her quiet place but it wasn't there. What was there was a cavern, red, glowing, menacing. Fire crackled and burned. Pain filled screams. Above her was serenity. Soft music, laughter. The people were calling to her. That was never there either.

She ignored both. This was her quiet alone place. She didn't remember thinking of coming here she just appeared. But now that she was she was going to enjoy it. She thought about her wedding. Felt a huge smile spread on her face. It was going to be the very best. Wow she was going to get married - her! Who would have thought it? Definitely not her! Marriage didn't sound too bad anymore actually, not when she thought of her husband. Husband! She didn't think it was possible to be any happier but when she thought of her soon to be husband she wanted to jump up and down in excitement. She was far too grown up to do that. Yeah right! Melissa Trevanion had a lovely ring to it. She lay down and relaxed onto here cloud. Let herself doze.

"Didn't I warn you what I'd do to you if I saw you up here!" an angry voice asked.

Missy opened her eyes. Was looking into irate clear blue eyes.

"Hey Alice."

"Is that all you have to say for yourself?" Alice fumed.

"Alice why so angry. Usually when you see me here we giggle over way to play tricks on Danny."

"Oh Miss you wanna hazard a guess?"

"You pissed at me coz I'm marrying Danny?" She asked wearily. Coz if Alice was then she'd call it off. In a second!

"What? Of course not fool!"

"That what Alice?"

"Missy you are sat on a cloud talking to me. Does that give you a clue?"

"That's normal. If I'm ever stressed out and need to relax I escape to this place in my head and talk to you."

"Oh." Alice said and sat down.

Missy dived down. "Hey watch you nearly had my eye out with your wing!" Missy declared.

"Not wing. They are merely decorative. It's my rocket pack." Alice grinned. "0-60 in 3 seconds. You should see me go!"

"Can I have a go!" Missy asked excitedly.

"Get your own." Alice said grinning.

"You never did like to share!" Missy grumbled playfully.

"Miss your not dreaming you know."

"I know. I believe the term is day dreaming Alice."

"Not that either Miss. I think your dead. Or pretty close to it." Alice told her softly.

"No. coz I refuse to die." Missy said simply. "I'll live forever."

"You don't have a choice Miss. He just takes you whether you want to go or not."

"Well he can send me back too." Missy again said simply.

"It doesn't work like that Miss." Alice told her sympathetically.

"It will!" Missy said confidently.

"Why did you ignore it Miss?"

"What?"

"You knew full well what was happening to you.!" Alice said angrily. Irritated by her acting stupid.

"Alice this is my peace place and you are stressing me out!" Missy told her pointedly.

"Miss you had a heart attack at the airport! How could you do that to Shauna? She's going mental by the way!"

Missy sat up. "She cracking up badly?"

"She's worried. Stressing."

"Poor Shay." Missy murmured. "Does Danny know?"

"No I 've been trying to send signals to Shauna. Silent messages she is just so worried about you she is missing them. Or ignoring them I'm not sure."

"Am I really dead?" Missy asked.

"I think so." Alice told her.

"Damn." she whispered. "I was gonna get married. I have the kids."

"Shauna is on the phone to danny. FINALLY!" Alice said on a breath.

Missy winced. "How is he?"

"He's being Danny. Staying calm on the outside. Inside is a whole other matter, inside he's cracking up. Imagining awful scenarios like he does. The only people who'd know something is wrong are the people who love him."

Missy nodded. They sat side by side.

"Danny just told Ryan." Alice told her.

"My poor little man. How is he?"

"Coping like you used to. Not quite as well as you used to but he's doing pretty good. Danny is trying to reassure him." Alice was silent a second. "Ryan reminds me a lot of you the older he gets."

Missy shook her head. "He's a lot more intense that I used to be back then. He got my playfulness though. How did you survive me. I swear sometimes I wanna strangle him."

"Now you know what we had to cope with." Alice laughed. "No but he is more like you than you think. I remember serious intense Miss when she was needed."

"Yeah and look what happened. I fell in love with your husband." she said dryly.

"Aren't we over that already? You don't have to rehash the past!" Alice told her.

"Yeah yeah it's just…you know."

Alice shrugged. Used to Missy's gibberish.

"I never expected us to last you know." Missy admitted.

"To be honest neither did I. I was so sure you'd hurt him." Alice told her.

"Me hurt him?" Missy asked incredulous. "He could have hurt me too you know. I'm not exactly heartless!"

"Yeah but Miss even you knew that you were untouchable. Yeah you loved me and Shay. And even Karl to a degree, but you never gave anyone enough power where they could hurt you. Not even me and Shay and we were your best friends. I was sure you would hold back just enough and then when you felt him getting too close you'd leave. He can't hold back like that Miss. When he says he loves someone he loves them completely. Even you admitted you were damaged goods. I was, am so proud of the way you opened up to him. It was so heart warming to watch. Like watching a soppy movie sometimes. I swear in parts I cried! It was so slow and gradual. Like the first time you said you loved him first and his eyes softened and you both smiled slowly. He remembers all this stuff too! His heart is breaking at the minute!" Alice murmured sadly.

"I don't wanna leave him, that. I wanna go home!" Missy declared.

Alice nodded. "I want you to go home too. I never wanna see my best friends up here. I love you both so much!"

"I love you Alice. And I won't be staying. I can't let this beat me!" she told her defiantly. "If he wants to keep me he'll have to catch me first!"

Alice laughed.

"You'll never lose it will you? I was all bitter when I died. Took me a while to get over it. But you. Same old Miss. Cracking jokes."

"I'm Missy. Why bemoan things you can't control. You just twist it to your advantage. Like why can't I find a way to control God hmmm?" she grinned evilly. "Is there such a thing as blackmail in heaven? Photo's of God in a compromising position with a certain brown eyes angel. If you help me I'll cut you in. Extra paradise on top of paradise!" Missy grinned nodding.

Alice laughed more. "I've missed you Miss."

"I've missed you too Alice." they looked at each other for a second. "You know what's weird?" Missy asked. "I am actually considering bumping off Shauna so we're all here." she said smiling. "The trio that has heaven trembling. God would definitely evict us. Do they have ASBO's in heaven? You know Angels Stupid Behaviour Orders."

Alice laughed more. "I'm sure he'd make on just for you."

Missy nodded. "Coz I'm special!"

"You need to go home Miss. We aren't ready for you here yet."

"It won't ever be ready for me!" she countered.

"Your right Alice agreed."

"I suppose that down there is hell?" Missy asked pointing down.

"I dunno." Alice replied. "I ignored it."

"You know if had been younger my hell would have been actually been waking up, going back there. To fighting with my dad and ignoring what happened to me. It's weird but I'm all at peace. All calm and serene. I grew up!" she grinned.

Alice realised something. Something that might have save her life if she had been paying attention all those years ago. Decided to play it normal. If she told Miss what she was planning she would tell her to go to hell - literally.

"Yeah right, you grown up Miss?" then. "Miss your not scared of heights are you?"

"No I'm not. You gonna let me have a go of your jet pack?"

"Maybe." Alice grinned.

"YES!" Mossy stood up as did Alice. Alice went to push her but Missy side stepped her quickly.

"You - Alice are a terrible liar!" Missy told her and crossed her arms. "TUt tut trying to send your dear old Miss to hell. If I beat you up will God send me to hell?"

"Who say's it's hell? Who say's that's heaven? Who say's your dead?" Alice asked.

"You did Alice." Missy told her pointedly.

Alice thought. "Well maybe I was wrong."

Missy clutched her chest comically. "Will wonders never cease. Alice Collins wrong?"

"Miss you have to try. The kids are depending on you. They need you."

Missy frowned. "Hell?"

"Only in your mind! Since when has hell been below heaven? Hell is below the earth not before it!"

Missy frowned. "If I end up rotting in hell I'm gonna strike up a deal with the devil and kidnap you from heaven!"

Alice shook her head this woman was mad!

"Take care Miss ok." Alice said and hugged her tight. "You'll never know how much you mean to me."

"I do coz you mean just as much to me." Missy whispered.

"Get better!" Alice told her sternly. "Don't leave!" tears slid from her eyes.

"I won't ever. I promise. You know me. Never say die! Ever." Missy said cockily.

"Goodbye Miss. The best person I know."

Missy walked to the edge of the cloud. Smiled at Alice. Waved then let herself drop into the deep dark abyss below.

**A/N so now i guess u probs know think u know who is injured. and why amie is written like Miss x. alice next up. bt there is of course still a chance that Shauna is injured hmmm x**


	10. Back To Alice

Alice walked through the busy corridors of the hospital. People bustled passed her but she didn't notice them. She had one place in her sights and nothing was standing in her way! She had just got off her flight and she needed to see her friend. On the flight to distract herself she had tried to write her story but it was coming out all wrong. With her friends accident hanging over her the only thing she was writing was angst and awfulness and anger. Ethan and Lexi seemed to be getting the worst at the minute. God how could she do that to her granddaughter. She was phoning Lexi tonight she would change it if Lexi wanted. She had wrote so much and the ideas in her head were getting worse and worse and there was nothing she could do to stop it! She had even hurt Missy! Seriously how could she do that? Especially given the circumstances she was here for! She finally reached her destination.

(X)

Alice opened the door to the room slowly and steeled herself for the sight of her friend lying on the bed. Half dead. Literally. She walked in and rubbed her eyes.

"Christ!" she whispered on a breath.

She looked so….small, so…..breakable! This wasn't her best friend! She looked nothing like her. A narrow tube was in her mouth, breathing for her. She was too pale. Her ribs which had been very badly broken were taped up underneath her gown she knew. Her ribs had pierced both her lungs and her entire chest cavity had filled with blood. Her pelvis had been completely shattered and had been pieced back together using metal pins. Her neck was in a brace. The sight of her made Alice weep softly.

"Look you gotta wake up Miss. Please. You can't leave me!" her voice shook. "Whose gonna annoy me huh? Or drive me and Shauna crazy with crazy plans and ideas. And make sure we don't fight?" she rubbed her face and ran a hand through her hair. "I left in my story Miss. You took care of everyone like you always do. I was pinned by a truck, not you!" she inhaled sharply as silent tears fell. She felt so guilty. She knew it was irrational but it felt like life had imitated her story just messed around with the people abit. Her voice shook. "Don't you dare die Miss! I will NEVER forgive you if you die and leave us!"

Missy lay still and quiet. Monitors beeped steadily. A door opened and Alice heard soft crying as someone approached. She knew immediately that it was Shauna. Alice turned and saw her. Apart from her left arm being in a cast there was literally not a scratch on her! Alice walked over and hugged her tightly. Shauna meanwhile had already broke down at the sight of Missy on the bed. Alice wiped away her tears already knowing that she had to be the strong one. Shauna could never handle stuff like this well. When her mother died she had been near on distraught for days! Alice had been too, not as bad as Shauna though!

"Missy is dying Alice!" she murmured in between sobs.

Alice inhaled sharply. "I know Shay."

"She can't die though Alice. She just…." Shauna trailed off, Alice heard her swallow another sob.

Alice also had to swallow thickly before she spoke. "Shay we are here, we have our chance to say go…" she exhaled. "Say goodbye."

They had been friends since they were 6 years old. How on earth had the time flew over so quickly. God it was so early for any of them to be dying. She was just too freaking young! Alice thought. Her sadness turning to anger. Then reverting back to sadness.

"It's my fault she is here Alice. I pressed for her to go to the spa. Told her to take time off. We hadn't spent time together in forever and I missed her. I suggested the route we took too. She even tried to save me Alice. She swerved! She knew what was gonna happen and fish tailed so her side took the impact. She even unstrapped my seat belt! I flew through he already cracked windshield and skidded across the floor. Landed on my arm." she rubbed her face stressfully.

"Shauna she probably knew that she was gonna be badly hurt. The driver generally is. She made a decision based on her options. She wouldn't have wanted both of you to die."

"I watched it happen Alice. God it keeps going round and round in circles in my head. It never stops like a never ending bad movie that you don't want to watch but can't forget either! A truck came down off the exit on the motorway the wrong way. How it got that far was beyond me but it did. Missy saw it coming and swerved. I did my flying bit. The truck then hit her side door and her arms flew to her head automatically and she ducked. Her car began to flip but it couldn't coz another truck had already hit my side door. My seat was just crushed. Gone completely. God the sound of the screaming metal haunts me. She was sandwiched between the two trucks. Her car looked like a crushed tin can. She was covered in so much blood and she looked all tangled like a pretzel. Her head was rested against her steering wheel and the car was half it's original size. She wasn't moving at all. I thought she was dead and went to her. She wouldn't answer me and I shouted and screamed and pleaded. The car was moulded around her."

Alice gasped and rubbed her face tiredly. Ran her hands through her hair yet again.

"Um, Karl. Ebs, Stevie?" Alice asked.

"Karl and the kids are trying to get here. They were on their way to Australia to see Karl's family. Missy was heading over tomorrow, she had a client to see early in the morning and was heading after that. She had a free afternoon and I begged her to spend it with me. Like I see we don't see each other too much anymore. I told her she needed some relaxation. We were talking about coming over to see you when the truck hit us."

Alice nodded and exhaled. Wiped away the tears which had gathered. She kept expecting Miss to jump up and shouted got ya. Or crack some stupid joke which wouldn't be funny. Alice knew this wasn't a set up. As soon as she knew they were crying she would put a stop to it. She wouldn't have let it go on this long. God her best friend was dying and there was nothing she could do. She felt so helpless! Again the anger returned. Missy could do it though. She had faced harder stuff on her own and survived. She could do this too.

"Look Shay the best we can do is hope she gets better. Til then we just have to make sure she knows we love her and give her the best goodbye we can. In case the worst should happen. You know she isn't expected to survive this." she added softly.

Shauna nodded quickly.

Alice wanted to scream, 'Missy! Not here! Not now!' Missy gone? It just didn't compute in her head.

"I never thought this would happen you know." Shauna told her. "She always seemed so larger than life. Like nothing could ever touch her. One step ahead of everything." Shauna murmured. "Even de….."

Suddenly one of Missy's monitors began beeping frantically. Alice stood frozen to the spot as Shauna ran to the door and yelled for doctors. Her hands covered her mouth as Missy went into grand mal seizure on the bed. She was rigid then stopped…..dead. Doctors and nurses converged around her yelling at each other in a language Alice wasn't sure she recognised. A crash cart was wheeled passed them as they were led out. Alice's eyes never left her best friend. She was lying prone, limp. They were injecting her. The door was closed behind them. The ECG machine charged with a high pitched whine. Alice couldn't hold it in no longer. She felt like her head was going to explode. Her best friend lay in there!

"Goodbye Miss." she inhaled deeply. Put her hand on the closed door. Felt cold hard wood beneath her fingers. "To the best friend I ever had." she added as a whisper dropped her head and felt her heart break. Tears fell silently down her cheeks.

(X)

They were in there for an hour. No one had came to talk to them but doctors had came and gone looking grave. Alice was sat in the waiting room, trying to stay awake. She looked down at her manuscript. She was gonna just throw the rubbish in the bin. She was never gonna write again! She yawned and tossed it on a chair away from her. Got up and paced. She needed to vent some of this restless anger inside her. Shauna had gone to ring everybody with an update. Mostly Karl who was beside himself. He wasn't an openly emotional person but Shauna had told her when she rang him to tell him Miss had been in an accident he had started crying softly on the phone. He was a big strong stoic man. A man's man for want of a better term and to hear that he had cried on the phone. God! She had offered to phone Karl but Shauna had said that she would do it. She needed to talk to him. In other words apologize another hundred times if she knew Shauna. She paced agitated. Needing to put her fist in a wall. Felt her arms twitching with want. How selfish was she? Writing her story as her friend lay dying. Her fist flew of it's own accord into a pop machine. Her knuckles shifted but she felt no pain. She walked back to her seat and at down put her head in her hands and resisted the urge to cry again. Why couldn't this all be a bad dream? Why couldn't she be at home with Danny and be certain that her best friend was safe and well.

"I'm so sorry Miss!" she said out loud. Sat still holding her head deep in thought. Thinking of happier times as kids and young adults. The three of them against the world. Always. She felt a soft tap on her shoulder. She looked up and her heart stopped.

"Miss?" she gasped. God she was fine! Healthy. Smiling!

"Finish it!" was all she said.

Alice frowned. Then was jerked back to full wakefulness by the doctor.

(X)

"Are you here for Mrs Healy?" the doctor asked softly.

Lice was on her feet in a second. "Yes doctor how is she? Have we…" she inhaled "Lost her?" choked back a sob.

"We got her back."

Alice exhaled put her hand on her chest in relief.

"And surprisingly she is awake." the doctor added.

Alice's jaw dropped. "Is she gonna be…"

The doctor shook his head "She is out of it Miss. She will slip back into unconsciousness soon. She is very ill."

Alice nodded. "Will you please get a message to Mrs O'Donnell. Tell her to get here. It's an emergency."

He nodded.

"Thank you." Alice said then hurried towards Missy's room. Walked straight in there. Saw Missy with her eyes closed oxygen masked covered her mouth. Alice had missed her chance! She sat beside her and held her hand.

"You keep on hanging in there Miss. I know that you can beat this coz you're a fighter. Toughest person I know."

"No….doubt." a voice answered. Alice looked at Missy's face and saw her eye's open. Just a crack but she could see soft brown. Her voice was slow, unsure, unsteady.

"Miss." Alice asked and her eyes filled. Sure she was delirious or dreaming again.

"Snuck away….reaper back turned." Missy tried to smile a little. "He…well…pissed!….keep trying….catch me….no…chance!" she panted to catch her breath. Inhaled deeply on the oxygen.

Alice laughed a little at her declaration. Then returned to worrying as she saw how Missy was struggling.

"You never change. Your lying here like this and still cracking jokes. Same old Miss." she exhaled. "Your in a bad way" Alice added in a whisper. She deserved to know.

Missy nodded a little. Blinked to let her know she understood. "I…guessed."

"We need you to fight. Don't stop fighting!" Alice told her.

Missy blinked tiredly. Tried to nod again but couldn't. She yawned. "Tired." she mumbled.

"You need to stay awake for Shay!" Alice said sharply.

Missy tried hard to rouse herself but was fighting a losing battle.

"Take….care….Shay." she whispered. "Feels…guilty….she needs… you!" her eyes which were barely open seemed to close a little more.

Shauna burst into the room. "Miss!" she declared.

Her eyes were barely open but she noticed her friend. Shauna walked around and grabbed her free hand.

"I'm sorry Miss. So sorry! I shouldn't have….."

Missy squeezed her hand. "For…gods sake….shut up!" she tried to say forcefully. It came out sounding more like a plea.

Alice smiled a small watery smile. Her eyes glistened. Shauna jaw had dropped and she was shocked into silence.

"No…need….guilt trip…self…..me…kick…..ass!" Missy inhaled deeply. Alice knew she didn't have much time left.

"Kiss….Eb's….Stevie…. for me. Leave….Karl…..for me." she smiled a tiny smile. They noticed it. "Tell kids….mummy….loves em." a single tear trickled down Missy's face.

"You will do it when your better Miss!" Alice assured her.

"Finish…it." Missy whispered to Alice. Then her eyes went distant and blank for a second. Alice and Shauna looked at each to her scared. Checked her monitors which had carried on beeping steadily. Missy was unconscious again.

"What did she mean Alice?" Shauna asked.

Alice shook her head. "Nothing Shay. Miss and her cryptic comments." Alice squeezed her friends hand. An affirmative. She would finish this story. And somehow find a way to give a happy ending. She would do it for her!

**A/N awww this was quite a sad chapter to write. but Miss has convinced Alice to carry on with her story - what is next? **

**i apologise for having no update the past couple of days stressed outta my head with all the xmas shoppin. i swear if i heard the song jingle bells one more time i was gonna start taking hostages lol after the first 50 times i got sick after the next 100 i was feeling homicidal lol ok sorry about the mini rant hope u enjoyed anyways x  
**


	11. Happy Words And Angry Words

**(Back to Unexpected)**

Danny arrived in England with Ryan. Was at the hospital in no time. He was going mad! Missy had been fine when she left. They were laughing and joking. She hadn't been ill in….God he couldn't remember when. And then he gets a phone call saying that she collapsed at the airport and was in a bad way at the hospital in Glasgow. That she had a heart attack. She had been lucky apparently, if they hadn't had an ECG in the airport she'd be dead. He hadn't heard anything else. Sat watching his phone. On the one hand he wanted someone to ring to give him an update but on the other hand what if she had….. NO! No news was good news he kept telling himself. God they had said she was in a really bad way! The fact that she was still here was a miracle in itself! A massive heart attack! It had just dropped her. By rights is should have killed her.

So he had dropped Ryan off at Shauna's. James just took him inside no questions asked. He didn't hang around just came straight into the hospital and was finally, after being phoned 15 hours ago, outside her room. He walked inside. Shauna was sat by her bed murmuring softly and holding her hand. Missy eyes moved to him and she smiled when she saw him.

"I win Shauna hand over the 20 quid." she said softly. "Told you he'd be here within 24 hours."

Shauna rolled her eyes.

Missy then looked at Danny's pale face. "Oops." she said to him.

He laughed a little so did Shauna. Happy that she was normal - sort of. Bets and jokes.

"You think Miss!" he told her he sat on the other side of her. Held her hand. Pressed a kiss to the back of it. "You scared me Miss."

"Ryan?" she asked worriedly.

"Is with James." he assured.

"Shauna." Missy said. She and Shauna had already spoke about what was going to happen when Danny arrived.

Shauna nodded. "I'll leave you two alone." walked from the room.

"My sleeping beauty is awake and we are alone. Do I get my kiss now?" he then frowned. "Actually no I gotta be serious a minute…I thought I was gonna get here and they were gonna tell me you were dead."

"They don't expect me to live long Danny." she told him softly.

"What? No!" he demanded.

"They operate tomorrow.. Low chance of survival. My heart is knackered."

"And if they don't operate?" he asked.

"Zero chance of survival."

He swallowed thickly. "You can't go Miss. I need you with me."

"I love you Danny. You know I do. You know you're the only person who I have ever loved."

He leaned over and hugged her. "Find a way Miss." he whispered. "Take my strength. Please. Just take it!"

"I'm sorry Danny. You know I don't wanna leave you."

"I know you won't." he pulled back and looked into her eyes. Had an idea. He kissed her softly and held her hand tightly until Shauna came back.

"I won't be long. Promise." he pressed a final kiss to her cheek.

As he left her room the words zero chance of survival echoed around his head and he walked even faster.

(X)

Almost 2 hours later Danny returned. With a minister.

"He said he'll marry us." Danny told Miss.

"Huh?" she asked sleepily and he realised that she had been asleep and he woke her.

He walked over and held her hand. "The minister said that he'll marry us." he whispered and kissed her cheek.

"This is just the sweetest thing I have ever seen!" Shauna murmured tears falling down her cheeks.

"Please marry us." he produced 2 rings. He had literally broke all speed limits getting to a jewellery store.

He looked at Miss. "When your better and home we'll do this properly at home with all our family and friends around. With better rings too." he promised.

The minister nodded and Danny stood by Missy's side and held her hand softly. The minister took a deep breath.

Shauna was there as witness and they were married within the hour. As the minister pronounced them man and wife Danny leaned down and kissed her gently. "Hi Mrs Trevanion." he whispered and pressed his forehead to hers softly.

Shauna clapped. Danny shook the ministers hand. He congratulated them and then left.

"I love you Mrs Trevanion." he was sat beside her his eyes never left hers.

"I love you too. The only person I will ever love. Forever."

"I'm gonna head home." Shauna said. Tomorrow was undecided. They deserved a night alone as man and wife.

"Shay C'mere." Missy said.

Shauna walked over. Missy hugged her tightly. "Take care of everyone." she whispered. "Love you loads."

After hugging her back Shauna frowned at her. Missy nodded. Shauna shook her head in denial and walked from the room.

"What was all that about?" danny asked.

"Shauna being Shauna." Missy whispered. "Plus this is my wedding night. Who wants to talk about Shauna?"

"You do have a point." he conceded.

They sat there most of the night. Talking about everything they were gonna do when she was better. Planned this big daft wedding that they both knew they would hate. It was fun trying to out do each other though. He said he was gonna wear a bright yellow shirt and she was gonna wear bright pink with purple spots. The food was jelly and ice cream. Don't even get them started on the flowers. All too soon though Missy grew tired.

"If I had one wish you just granted it." she murmured to him.

"I knew you couldn't wait to marry me!" he smiled.

"I mean it Danny. No jokes. Look…I don't feel well right now. I feel really light-headed. I love you. Never forget that. If the worst should happen tell Ryan I love him. Don't let him forget me. Tell the other kids I love them too. Make sure you talk about Alice too. Even now."

He nodded inhaled deeply. "You'll be here to remind me to do this stuff you know."

She pulled him to her for a long lingering kiss. "I'm so happy you are mine." she then sighed and closed her eyes.

Danny sat by her side when doctors came in. he was ushered outside. He was informed that she had slipped into a coma due to arrhythmia. Her heart began beating irregularly and it had caused her body to protect itself the only way it knew how. They were worried it would begin shutting down completely. They couldn't hold off the surgery. They told the surgeon to get here as soon as he could. She was then taken down to theatre. They couldn't wait.

Danny was alone in the waiting room. Never in his life had he ever thought that on his wedding night he'd be stood waiting to find out if his wife was dead. He paced back and forth. It was gonna be a long night!

(X) Back At Leopards Den

Daniel was in the surgery hoping Missy was ok. His dad hadn't been in touch yet. They had been unable to reach Amie wherever she was, but they had left a message which they had promised to pass onto her commanding officer. Lexi and Ethan had a lot on their plate. Zoey was still gone. No sign of her. There was no trace. She had just disappeared and they were stressing put more every day. Daniel had never seen Ethan this way before. He was coiled tight. Like a piece of dynamite. Read to explode at the slightest provocation. He and Lexi could barely look at each other sometimes. At the moment they ignored each other didn't speak two words to each other they found out if they spoke they argued.

EJ walked into the surgery his shoulders slumped. He looked dejected.

"Hey Ethan."

"Hello." he replied. "Do you mind if…."

Daniel shook his head, this used to be his escape too.

"They are up there yelling at each other again. They don't even know why they are arguing anymore. They like yelling at each other! Obviously they can't talk like normal people."

Daniel nodded. His dad and Missy had been like that once upon a time. He remembered it vaguely. It had been hard.

"I'm invisible to them. The only thing they care about it Zoey. I bet if I disappeared they wouldn't even notice. Or care!"

"Just ignore the way they are acting right now mate. They are just worried about Zoey." he quickly finished up in the surgery. Decided to got talk to his older siblings about Ethan. Maybe give them a crack if he had too. EJ was having a rough time right now and that wasn't fair. They had 2 kids to be thinking about. He was still here but if they carried on acting like this then they were gonna lose him too.

"I'm heading up to the house for 10, you coming up with me?"

"Na I think I will hang down here for a while. When they are like this they can go for hours!" Ethan told him looking in one of the cages.

Daniel felt his anger rise more at that comment. Like he was resigned to his parents arguing! He stalked up to the house. Passed Amy without saying a word. Saw Lexi and Ethan arguing like EJ said. Their stances were barely restrained and their faces were one of pure rage. He walked forward and caught part of their argument.

"Go home Lexi. I left our house like you wanted and now your gonna ambush me here? Bring Xander here? No way!" Ethan fumed.

"This is MY dad's house Ethan in case you have forgot. I can stay if I want." Lexi told him defiantly.

"So he isn't my family too?" Ethan asked. "God it always comes back to this!"

"You were always the one who insisted you weren't related to them." she retorted.

"Yeah by blood! We got married Lex. Danny is my father in law. I suppose I have always seen him in a role like that."

"Well he isn't anymore!" she spat.

"Well thank heaven for small mercies coz if he isn't my father in law anymore it means WE are no longer married!"

"Do you even wonder why I went to Xander Ethan? Just think for a second about everything he is and you aren't!" she told him nastily.

Ethan was livid and took a step forward. "Now that we are no longer married I think it's ok to tell you about the fun me and Selena had in the station late at night when it was quiet. Oh yeah Lex she felt so good. I should probably tell you as well that I was planning on leaving you and moving in with Selena. To start a new life away from you!" he told her coldly.

Lexi was also livid now and took a step towards him.

Christ! Daniel thought. They were about to go toe to toe. "Can you both please just shut up!" he shouted.

Lexi and Ethan turned shocked and looked at him. They took a step back.

"How long have you been there?" Lexi asked.

"Long enough." he said. "Nice point scoring by the way, do you realise that if I can stand here and listen to every word you say EJ can too!"

Lexi closed her eyes and Ethan covered his face.

"You two need to think about your son. The son who feels invisible. Who feels like if he left you wouldn't even notice. Though from what I've seen I'm guessing he'd be right!" he fumed.

Ethan pulled out his mobile phone.

"Phoning Selena to comfort you?" Lexi muttered.

"No actually I'm phoning my son. Unless he isn't mine either!"

Lexi's eyes narrowed. "You wanna go and discuss this with him?

"O why is Xander all ready to play daddy? Not with my kids he's not!"

"O and now they are yours again!" she replied.

"You know what Lex why did you become such a nasty bitch?" Ethan asked.

"The same time you became a nasty bastard Ethan!" she retorted.

"YOU KNOW WHAT!" Daniel shouted gaining their attention finally. "Since you two are obviously incapable of behaving like parents I suppose I will have to take care of Ethan myself. You two need to grow up. You have lost your daughter but HE had lost his sister and his parents!" Daniel then walked away. Kicked a rock hard. It skidded across the floor. He stalked toward the surgery to take care of his nephew.

Both Ethan and Lexi stood there absorbing his words.

"What happened to us Lex? We used to be so good, so happy." he murmured.

"Jealousy and angry words." she told him. "Ignorance and unhappiness."

"Daniel is right. This can't be about us. Ethan is here. He didn't ask to be. We made him and we need to bring him up the best way that we can." Ethan said seriously. "Even if it means we stay away from each other. He doesn't need to see us fighting and to hear the angry words we are capable of spewing at each other."

She nodded. They saw him approaching walking beside Daniel. He looked at his parents with his I don't care expression.

"Ethan son…" Lexi started.

EJ looked away.

"We're sorted now Ethan. We're gonna concentrate on you and ignore all the rest of it." His dad told him.

"Yeah whatever!" EJ drawled.

"Look son this family is falling to pieces. Missy is ill in hospital. And Zoey…" she trailed off. Ethan grabbed her hand and squeezed it offering silent support she looked at him and nodded. He released it.

EJ looked at them surprised. Were they gonna stop arguing?

"We are falling apart and all of us need to come together." she looked at Daniel. "All of us including Amie. You know what I'm talking about Daniel. Make peace with her."

Daniel nodded. "If I can make peace with her you cane make peace too!"

"Already done!" Ethan assured him.

**A/N i remember watching the corrie crash and the peter/leanne bit and i literally shouted omg they stole my idea(wi danny and miss) arnie was like calm down u daft bat lol.  
anyways this stuff wi lex and ethan is escalating badly how much farther is it gonna go... wait and see and Daniel is so grown up isnt he? a nurturer like alice :)  
thanks 4 reading and my apologies for the lack of update x**


	12. Coping

Danny was sat beside Missy in her room. She had her operation and pulled through. The next month or so was critical but with very day she survived it got better. She had been put to sleep and they were gonna try to wake her soon if she didn't wake herself. He had been on the phone to Lex. Things didn't sound too good over there. Sounded pretty crap actually. She and Ethan had been arguing. Daniel and Amy had been bickering and poor EJ had been caught in the middle. Things weren't exactly the best over here either. Ryan was depressed. He missed his home. He missed his mother. He knew Ryan needed her. Ryan was like him and didn't open up too well but his mother knew how to coax it out of him. Like she had done with him all those years ago after Alice had passed away. Shauna had brought him in a couple of times, but the sight of his mother lying there in such a state had upset him so he had went home. He wasn't coping very well. Neither was his father to be honest. He kept having this reoccurring dream in which Alice and Missy were together stood on a cloud. There was a huge banner on some golden gates saying heaven welcomes the Trevanion wives. Missy and Alice hug and laugh and are happy and they ignore him when he calls to them. The walk into the gates and they shut behind them with a clang. He wasn't welcome.

So now he sat beside his wife. Holding her hand. Touching her face. He couldn't leave her. Couldn't let her be alone. He'd never leave her he loved her so much and she was his wife. When he got married it was for life. He closed his eyes and rested his head back against his chair. Alice was soon with him in a second.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. He knew instantly he was asleep.

"Watching over my friend. She keeps trying to leave and I keep convincing her to stay. She's in a lot of pain."

He frowned.

"You did the wrong thing Danny." she told him simply.

"What?" he asked.

"You married her."

"Yeah coz I love her. I thought she was gonna die. I couldn't let her die without giving her what she wanted! What I wanted too!"

"Yeah and now why does she have to live? She has been given everything she has ever wanted! You love her and gave her a son. Now you married her. She got everything she ever wanted. And was finally over everything that used to plague her. She was happy. There was nothing else she could do!"

"What do you mean?" he asked coldly.

"Well what else could she accomplish Danny?"

He was shocked. Anger began to flow through him. "How could you - of all people say that? Underestimate her like that?"

She took a step forward. "And how could you underestimate out daughter?" he stood still, not expecting her reply he was shocked into silence.

"Well?" Alice fumed.

"Aren't you worried about her Alice? I mean c'mon, bombs and guns and all the rest of it!" he exhaled.

"Course I'm worried. I'm working overtime on her but Danny she isn't the baby you imagine. She is 21 and soon she'll be bringing a serious boyfriend home. Getting married. Starting a family of her own. She needs to do this. And you need to learn to listen coz there is stuff going on in her head that you and Missy are completely unaware of!"

"But the army Alice! There is plenty of other stuff she could have done without making me a nervous wreck. Every time the phone rings I'm sure it's someone saying she is hurt or maimed or…."

"She will be fine Danny. I am making sure of it!" Alice told him before he could finish that statement.

"I'll never forgive you Alice if she gets hurt!" he told her seriously.

"I know." was all she said.

Missy appeared. "Did you sort it Alice?"

Alice grinned. "Course I did!"

"I know you would. He never listens to me!" she said with a laugh and high fived Alice.

"Miss?" Danny asked.

Missy looked at Danny then back to Alice. "See you soon."

Danny woke up with a jolt. Right ok! He thought. Who was Missy saying see you soon to? Him or Alice?

(X)

The next day Danny still hadn't moved. He had his head rested back on the chair with his eyes closed although he wasn't sleeping. He was thinking about his dream yesterday. It was funny but when he looked at Alice she looked different to him. She was still his wife but in a different way. It was weird. He didn't wish she was back anymore. Not for him anyway. He wished she was back so their kids could know her. And he still loved her but the years he had spent with Missy… he fell more in love with her every single day. She was like a part of him now. Like his shadow. It was really weird coz he had never thought of her in that way before while Alice had been alive and now he couldn't imagine not loving her. He hadn't thought of Alice in that way either. He had loved her deeply and intensely but he didn't love her in the same way he loved Missy which he was glad of coz that would have been really weird. Not that he loved missy more than Alice, he loved them both more than anything else in the world. He and Miss were….he thought trying to put his feelings into words. What was so good about them and was he loved most about her was the fact that they should never have got together. It's like an unspoken rule. You never fall for your siblings girlfriend or your best friends. Poor Miss she had broken both rules in one fast swoop. He loved that they had somehow found a way to overcome that, and not they had their relationship had grown and flourished. He liked to think that he had been a good thing for Missy. Helping to settle her and giving her the space to realise that love wasn't all bad. That it could be really good if you gave it a chance.

He let his mind think of thoughts of his wife. How she smiled at him. Her brown eyes would go like a liquid brown when she looked at him. How her eyes always held this mischievous twinkle. How she could be crabby first thing in the morning if she hadn't had enough sleep. Then she would turn over and he would smile and give her a soft kiss and he would feel her crabbiness just disappear. How she would hug him so tightly if she was having a hard time. He rubbed his face. She had to get through this. He needed longer with her. They had 14 years together and he was still learning stuff about her. He need to know everything! They fit so perfectly and now he could be facing life without her. Alice's death, it had been sudden. A shock. This was far worse. The waiting. The uncertainty. Waiting to see if she lived or died. Knowing that no matter what he said or did could affect the outcome.

As he was lost in his melancholy thought he heard a noise come from Melissa. It wasn't a groan but it wasn't laugh wither. He opened his eyes and looked at her. Held his breath. Wait a minute - she was humming. Very softly and so fain the could barely hear it but it was there.

"Miss?" he asked looking at her intently.

Her eyes were closed and she was still.

She hummed for a few more seconds then quieted. He sat and thought of the tune. He knew that tune! It niggled at the edge of his brain. Why would she hum? What was she trying to tell him? How could she hum? And most importantly what was she humming and why was is that particular song?

(X)

A few hours later Ryan walked into the room. Danny was pale. He'd been given news, she wasn't getting better. There had been no visible improvement.

"Hey dad." Ryan said softly his eyes never leaving his mother.

"Hey son." he replied.

Ryan frowned at his mothers pale complexion and gaunt face. He then made his face neutral although the shadows still lingered in his brown eyes. The eyes he had inherited from his mum. Whatever she felt always showed in her eyes and it was the same with Ryan. Danny knew that Ryan was hiding the same way Missy used to. A coping mechanism she had…. Used to? Had? Why the hell was he thinking of Missy in the past tense? She wasn't going anywhere!

"How's mum?" Ryan asked sadly breaking Danny's train of thought. He saw his son patting his mum's hand awkwardly. Ryan struggled the way he did with how to express his emotions. He suddenly had a problem. Did he tell his son the truth? That in most probability he was losing his mother. Or did he lie?

"She's um…no change." he lied. He couldn't let his son think his mum was gonna die!

Ryan moved his chair and sat beside him. "Mum's gonna die isn't she dad?" he asked.

"She could son." Danny said softly. "The doctors tried and she is trying but…."

Ryan bit his lip and nodded. His eyes glistened. "I don't want her to leave me" he admitted awkwardly.

"Even if…. Look she'll never leave you fully. She'll be around. You just won't be able to see her."

"What like heaven and angels? There is no such thing as god dad!" he said stubbornly.

"What happens when we die then?" Danny asked.

"We just die….that's it. No pearly gates. Your body just turns into dust!"

Danny shook his head. "I don't think so. I think when you die all the people you have ever loved meet you up there and everything is happy and nice."

"How can you believe on something you can't see?" Ryan asked cynically. God his 12 year old son was a cynic!

Danny frowned. "You can't see oxygen that we breath. Yet we still know it's there."

"That can be proved though dad. If it disappeared we'd all die." Ryan countered. "How can you prove God and heaven? He's this great mighty good person and he lets bad things happen! He's taking my mum from me! I hate him and I hope he doesn't exist!" his voice was raised and angry towards the end. Tears crested and he looked away.

Danny got up and hugged his son. Ryan wrapped his arms around him and hid his face in his dads shirt.

"I guess it comes down to faith son. Believing can go along way!" he murmured and rubbed his sons head. His son who's height matched his shoulders.

Ryan pulled away and rubbed his eyes. "Do you believe mum is going to get better?" he asked defiantly.

Danny had no idea. He wanted her to get better. NEEDED her to get better actually, but did he believe she would? That was a whole different matter.

"Look son this isn't the best time to be having this conversation.

Ryan nodded and sat back down.

"Your mum mentioned that you said you thought we were daft coz we never got married. We are now." Danny showed Ryan his ring "Just this quick thing. We are gonna do it properly when your mum is better and we are home. There wasn't time to get people here son. Sorry."

"I wanna go home dad." Ryan told him.

"Why?" Danny asked.

"Coz all I'm doing is sitting in Shauna's losing my mind. Daniel phoned me and said they finally got in touch with Amie. I'm gonna ask if she will take me home. She's on her way."

This might actually be for the best. He wasn't being the best father leaving him at Shauna's all the time.

"It's ok dad. Mum needs you here. I'm ok. I can take care of myself." Ryan told him softly.

Danny raised his eyebrows. Ryan had read his mind like his mum used….GOD! Past tense again!

"Daniel, Ethan and Lexi are there dad. Plus the other Amie too. I'll be fine. I'm just sick of wearing the same clothes and waiting for the phone to ring telling me mum is….." he exhaled frowning. "I just need a distraction and there is nothing for me here. Plus you could have picked up more clothes for me dad." he smiled his mothers grin at him.

"Sorry." Danny said sarcastically.

**A/N poor Ryan :( bt looks like he is going home. amie is on her way and this is building up to a really interesting bit if i do say so myself. x**


	13. Hurricane Amie

Amie walked down the corridor in the hospital. Nurses gave her startled looks but she ignored them. She had wheedled Missy's room number out of the receptionist. She had nearly keeled over at the sight of Amie. Hadn't they heard of camouflage before? Christ! You would think that she had just showed up and sprouted two freaking heads. She gave a soft knock on Missy's door and walked in. Her dad who was sat beside Missy turned and frowned.

"Not a word dad! I just got off a plane!"

(X)

Danny turned at the sound of a soft knock on the door. He watched as his youngest daughter walked in. wearing a dark green one piece suit smeared with mud. Her face was varying shades of green and black. Well it had been, like someone had vainly tried to wipe it off and what happened was it badly smeared.

"How is she dad?" Amie asked.

"Really ill Ames. she's had surgery and they have done everything they can for her."

"What happened?" Amie asked as she washed her hands at the sink. She was looking at him in the mirror.

"I wasn't there. Shauna said that she looked really ill as she walked off the plane. She just stared and then hit the floor. She had a heart attack after getting off the plane."

Amie nodded seriously.

"Shauna is coming so I can go home. Shower change. Maybe catch 40 winks. Might be good if you do too." he suggested.

She was about to object when she realised she was wearing dark green combats smeared with mud, blood too not that she was proud of that. Or what she had done to someone to cause that!

She looked at Missy. Missy you do get yourself in some scrapes! She thought. Shauna is right you need a bodyguard to protect you from yourself!

The person in question walked in.

"Christ Amie you been in a war zone?" Shauna asked.

"Yes." she said simply.

Shauna frowned and Danny paled.

"Well it's good that your home then." Shauna replied. "Any change?"

"Nothing." Danny told her sadly.

"Ryan is at home. He's really withdrawn Danny. Quiet."

Danny nodded. He knew how to help him.

"We'll be back soon." Amie promised.

"With you here it's almost like your mum is here. You really are her clone."

"Yeah." Amie said dryly. She wasn't anything like her mother! She would never leave her family! "See you Shauna." Amie stalked out of the room.

Danny gave Shauna a quizzical look then followed Amie. "So Ames where you been?" he asked jogged to catch up to her fast stride.

"Can't tell you where I've been or what I done. Sorry." Not that she would tell him anyway! If he knew what she had to do he'd lock her up and never let her out again. Even if she was good at her job. She knew if she kept this up top brass would be advancing her. They had high hopes for her whatever that meant. It was code for don't get killed coz we are sending you on dangerous missions. "I'm well trained dad. You shouldn't worry."

"Parents prerogative." he told her with a small smile.

(X)

They reached A and E. her senses told her something was wrong. It was quiet very quiet. She put her hand on her dad's stomach to halt him and put her finger to her mouth.

He frowned at her. Carried on walking and saw a man waving a knife around. Suddenly the man was yelling and grabbed a scared young woman the nurse. Danny stood shocked momentarily. Went to walk in front of Amie, to protect her.

Amie had moved so she was on the balls of her feet. Flicked her eyes around and took in her surroundings. When the man had turned she sprang. Was at the mans back in a second had his head. Snapped his neck back and he dropped the knife automatically. She pushed the young girl away from him and she skidded across the floor. She felt a familiar feeling rise and she spun a woman was throwing a punch she ducked and the woman connected with the man behind her. Amie grinned cockily as the man slid to the floor Amie meanwhile was upright in a second. Sidestepped and grabbed her neck and flipped her so she was on her back on the ground. She was fighting but Amie had her pinned tightly.

"You shouldn't resist!" Amie warned coldly.

The security guards came over. Sorted the dazed man and the woman who was fighting.

Amie walked back towards her dad who was standing with his mouth agape staring at her.

"C'mon dad." she said simply.

He hadn't moved. Or blinked. "What?" she asked.

The nurse hurried over and thanked her.

"No bother." Amie smiled. "Take good care of my aunt and we'll call it even ok?"

Her dad was till staring at her in shock. Since when had Amie been able to do that? He had been about to protect her. Obviously she didn't need it! A minute, that was all it took. To incapacitate two people! She had been a blur. He had never seen anyone move that quickly in his life! It had been like her surroundings had been part of her. That was how aware she had been of everything! She knew that woman was gonna hit her and her back was to her! Christ! And the worse thing was, she had enjoyed it, well not enjoyed it but her cocky grin had said it all and her cold warning to the woman too. She was practically asking her to carry on so Amie could sort her out!

Amie exhaled. "C'mon dad. I need a shower. I fell eugh!"

She walked off and he followed robotically. The doctors and nurses thanking her as she walked. She had to get away. She loathed being the centre of attention. Which is why she liked the secret service, they were taught how to make themselves invisible!

"Amie…" Danny started. Finally finding his voice.

"Dad I'm well trained. You just seen how well trained I am! Just don't make a big deal of this. Please!" she asked him softly.

"How can I not Ames? You were…" they walked through the automatic doors into the car park.

Stupid, idiotic, incapable. She mentally supplied. He obviously thought she was all those things and more. Incapable of looking after herself.

"Just amazing. Scary but amazing." he finally said.

"What?" she asked shocked. They reached the car and they climbed inside.

"Those people had no idea what was going on. No idea that you could handle yourself that well! Before it had even started it was over." he told her starting the car.

"That is what I am trained to do dad. The quicker you incapacitate the enemy the less likely you are to get hurt." she explained.

He sat thinking of her words. Instead of being proud though the only thing he could think of is what if it's a 6 foot bulky enemy. She's so tiny like her mother! "So secret service?" he asked. Changing the direction of his thoughts. Amie against a 6 foot man wasn't conducive to rational thoughts!

"Yeah. The main reason they wanted me was coz I had this sixth sense sort of thing. I just knew if someone was gonna hit me, or if something was gonna go wrong. It was in my head. See what happened was I had been away training for about 5 days and when we returned to barracks I saw this truck and I basically went mad telling them not to get in the truck coz I had a bad feeling about it, of course eventually the truck exploded. A bomb had been planted, I was placed under military arrest I had saved three people, 3 people high up in the military from getting into that truck and they arrest me! Eventually I was cleared. They found the guy who did it and he had no idea I warned the people about the bomb and he said he did it alone. I was commended. It wasn't like I did anything. I just warned them! They had no proof either. I mean I had been in the field training for a week and I had no contact with anyone."

He looked at her nodding.

"Plus I was really good at hand to hand combat. This is where my sixth sense really come into it. No one could beat me. Not even the trainer. I just knew where they were gonna hit me and block. Not like I read their mind. Just like a feeling. The less I think and concentrate the clearer it is."

"Whoa." was all danny said.

"Yeah so four weeks in I was noticed and I was sent for more intense training. I was the only woman these and all the guys took the mick with me. By the end I like to think they respect me. I tried to make sure of it but you know how some guys are. I did extra to prove to them I could pull my weight. A couple of guys tried to protect me so I kicked their asses. A couple tried to break me so I kicked their asses too. A couple went to the boss. Too scared in case I kicked their ass as well. Woman shouldn't be here! They cried to him. I was far better than them put together! I showed them big style. Finest one out of my group." she chuckled.

"What do you mean by break you Ames?" Danny asked softly a funny edge to his voice.

"You know jokes and stuff." she said nonchalantly.

What they had did was changed her sugar for salt thinking she'd kick off. Na she got even she swapped their salt for talcum powder. She found razor blades in her soap and they put caustic soda in her drinks bottle. That would have burned her is she had drank it. And the only reason she knew was coz she spilled abit on her trousers and it burned her leg. They had obviously put quite a bit in! The only one who had stuck up for her was Rob. She had to tell him to go to hell. She didn't want protection she wanted to be treated as an equal! Plus she knows she shouldn't but she had a tiny crush on him. He is seriously gorgeous! Not that she could ever tell him that I mean c'mon that would be the end of her career! After the razor blades and the caustic soda though he went to the boss and they were warned. Which made life worse for her!

Two of the guys, Jason and Peter aka Pixel decided they were gonna get rid once and for all! They came in the barracks with a couple of mates. The place was empty, everyone out for this do or something. They were gonna get rid whatever it took. They were both off their faces off alcohol and drugs she saw them, knew they were spoiling for a fight and they are big guys too. Both over 6 foot and bulky. She refused to run though. She was going down swinging! Here she was backed into a dark corner Pixel Jason and 3 mates high as kites. She knew what they planned to do. They had all had the same training but they had no idea about her gift. The trainers had kept it quiet. They were soon fighting and she was somehow holding the 5 guys off. Don't ask her how she just did. She just kept twisting and dancing and wriggling and they couldn't keep her still. They were pissed and getting sloppier and she was getting cockier till Pixel hit her square on the jaw. She knew it was coming but had no where to turn. People all around her. She literally spun a full 360 circle when he connected and hit the floor face down. Only Pixel and Jason were still standing at this point. One of the civilians she had taken out ages ago. the other two she took out before he connected. Rob thankfully came as she hit the floor and other high ranking officers. By now she was on her feet, swaying but on her feet. She didn't tell Rob or the boss what they had planned to do, it might only give the others ideas or make them protect her more. They were chucked out anyway for having civilians in the barracks. The civilians told the boss what Pixel and Jason were gonna do. They were warned they faced jail time if they didn't co-operate. After holding her own through all that the guys left her alone. Didn't protect her or victimise her just treated her equally which is what she always wanted. Except maybe Rob but he was gorgeous and she did threaten to kick his ass if her didn't pack it in. Anyway she appreciated that the guys treated her like that.

"It is lovely seeing you Amie." he told her interrupted her thoughts. The car pulled to a stop at Shauna's and he hugged her tightly. She smiled and enjoyed hugging her dad back.

"I'm sorry I…didn't trust you….babied you." he exhaled. "Your just my baby girl you know I don't want you hurt!"

"You can't protect me forever dad." she told him simply.

"I can try though can't I?" he asked.

"You need to trust me. To make my own decisions. To fly or fall."

"I'm trying to. From now on I promise. I know your mum is taking care of you anyway!" he told her off handedly.

Amie's eyes darkened.

"Ames?" he asked.

She climbed out of the car and slammed the door with a little more force than necessary. Walked towards the front door and knocked stiffly. Felt the ever present anger simmering below the surface. James opened the door and greeted her. Took in her paint smeared face. He grinned.

"Even under all that war paint I can still see you are the double of your mother. Except you're far better looking."

"Don't be hitting on my daughter old man." Danny yelled with a grin.

"Enough of the old eh?" James called back. "Anyway you wanna be happy you're a stunner like your mum and not an ugly old man like him."

Amie gritted her teeth. "Can I use your shower?"

"Sure go ahead." he was expecting a smart retort.

Danny walked up and Amie stomped up the stairs.

"What's up with her?" James asked.

"I dunno. I'm gonna go and speak to her now." Danny told him and followed Amie up the stairs.

(X)

"Ames." Danny knocked on one of the twins old bedrooms. Walked in and saw Amie holding a note.

"I'm guessing you are the same size as your mum coz you are like her in every other way" Amie said coldly and crumpled the note.

"Amie what's wrong baby?" Danny asked.

"Nothing I'm fine." she gathered up the clothes. Saw that they would fit perfectly. Right she was extremely angry now. Lack of sleep. Missy in hospital. Comparisons to her mother all had her on edge.

"Is this about your mum Amie?"

She froze for a second then acted normal. "No."

"What have you got against her Amie?" he asked. Saw her demeanour changing rapidly before.

Her frayed temper snapped. She spun quickly.

"I could tell you what I have against her dad but we haven't got the time. I would take us decades to get through all the stuff. I'm heading in the shower."

"Amie sweetie talk to me." he coaxed.

He wanted her to talk then she'd tell him something she felt since she was 16 years old. She was sick of always having to keep her mouth shut and keep other people happy. Well no more!

"You wanna know how I feel? I hate her ok! I wish Missy was my mum. She was the one who was there for me when I was growing up!" she hurled the words at him then pushed him aside as she stormed into the bathroom.

Danny just stood there shocked at her revelations.

**A/N :O :O :O :O now we all know this isn't gonna end well don't we danny's reaction next chapter x**


	14. Missy? Alice? Mum?

Amie lay on the bed in her room after her shower she had also tried talking to her dejected little brother. He was having a tough time. He didn't know how to react. He didn't wanna cry or shout so he bottled. He was sure Missy was leaving him and decided he didn't wanna stay and wait for the bad news. She had tried to make him feel better and reassure him but it had even sounded hollow to her own ears. Missy was strong and tough but if your heart gave out on you, you were basically screwed. Amie liked to think that she wasn't going anywhere but everyone died eventually, whether you wanted them to or not. Missy hadn't wanted her best friend to die but she had. Amie doesn't want Miss to die but she would eventually. Everyone leaves! Her life was fast and exciting and when she left she was going out with a bang not a whimper! Unlike other people! She changed her train of thought. She was really tired and needed sleep and if she thought like that she would kick off.

She thought about Missy and her dad and her when she was little. The thing she had told her dad about her mum. Alice. Her mum? God she had no idea what to call her, I mean you couldn't have two mum's right? She rubbed her face. When she had been little she had idolised her mother. She had always been perfect to her. Or that is what people told her she was like! When she had been preteen Missy had spoke to her often, which was what she wanted. She had wanted to know everything. Then one morning, when she was about 12 she woke up and realised she had no memories of her mother. Not that were own anyway. When she thought of her face she recalled photographs. Her perfume was a half empty bottle her dad gave her. Funny times, it was like she was on the sidelines watching her mum carry on with Daniel, Lexi or Ethan. She had nothing! And that made her angry! I mean GOD! Why couldn't she have one thing that was just hers, no she had to share everyone else's. Then it hit her, her mother had been dead for 6 years and she may as well as never existed coz Amie had no clue who she was. She knew material stuff, stuff she had been told but she didn't know who her mother was deep down. And why was that? Coz she had left! She pounded her fist off the bed and turned onto her side. Scowled.

A few weeks after that Amie had realised the source of her anger. It had scared the life outta her. I mean she had the girls education at school and heard her friends talk about it when they had their first time but still! She had been alone and her mother was gone and she went into meltdown. Then of course Missy saw her and saw she was different. Had a feeling what was wrong. Pulled her to a quiet discreet corner and asked her in hushed tones. Sorted her some stuff told her it was ok. That she had reacted far worse. As in screamed bloody murder. Amie hadn't known at the time what had actually happened with Miss. With her uncle. Missy had only tried to make her feel better and it had worked. She felt better and not as daft after hearing Missy went silly too. Then after that Missy had always been there.

First time her heart had been broken - Missy.

Help with school work and homework - Missy.

Boys - Missy.

Missy helped teach her to drive trucks. Albeit badly but it had been her. Got them lost in the bush too. But they had been together. Saw her through the tests and stresses being a teenager brings. They also had a lot of what she thought would have been mother daughter arguments. Over her curfew and boys and her room being a mess. And at times Amie wanted to strangle her and even told her to go to hell. Funny though she had never said you are not my mother remark. She realised why later. She had begun wishing that Missy was her mother. Then started seeing her as her mum. But she wasn't and she really needed a mother. She couldn't remember what it was like to have one. This was the one and only thing she felt like she couldn't go to Missy with. She bottled it up and soon she was resenting that Alice was her mum and Melissa wasn't. Coz Missy was here and Alice wasn't. Now Missy was…..

"Ames can I come in baby?" her dad broke her dark thoughts. She was on her side with her back to the door. She stayed quiet feigning sleep. He walked in.

"I know your awake Ames. you snore!" he said simply.

"I do not!" she declared sitting up.

He grinned at her and she exhaled. "You got me?"

He nodded.

She flopped back down onto the bed. "I need to sleep. I have just finished an op. I'm tired." she told him pointedly turned on her side with her back to him once again.

He stood and watched her with his arms crossed.

"We barely get any sleep when we are in the field dad." she hinted when he didn't leave.

"Amie we should talk about your mum." he told her softly.

Missy popped in her head automatically. No he meant Alice obviously. Missy. Alice. Missy. Alice. Her head was going round in circles. Not getting enough sleep did that to her.

"Well talk dad." she said dryly. Yawned. Hopefully he would say what he had to say and leave so she could sleep, if she just let him talk at her for a little bit he'd go. It would all be rubbish anyway, but when her dad got an idea in his head there was no stopping him.

"Amie why do you hate your mum?"

She kept quiet, unwilling to be drawn into an argument coz she know one would inevitably follow.

"Ames baby it wasn't her fault."

Wrong thing to say. Casting blame. Well if it wasn't her then who was it? She dived off the bed. "Whose was it then? Mine? I'm the one who suffered all those years!" she blurted angrily. Chest heaving.

"It's just one of those things Amie." he said calmly. His calm rational tone stroked her anger and made it burn hotter it sounded so smug. So superior. And it grated on her nerves!

"Yeah well if she hadn't went out in that storm then she would have lived. Simple. Therefore it is her fault and I should hate her accordingly!" she fumed. Not thinking rationally. Reacting with her emotions.

Danny exhaled. He hadn't seen this side to his daughter before. He had no idea how to handle it. He never had any idea how to handle Amie. She was an enigma to him. He sat on the bed and rubbed his face thinking.

She crossed her arms. Her face became defensive and she looked him dead in the eye. "I know you both didn't want me too. I heard someone mention it years ago. I can't remember who. They were talking about how I wasn't planned and I nearly split you up. Neither of you even wanted me!" she repeated angrily and paced. "Talk about scarring your kids for life!"

"WHAT?" he said shocked.

"I know I wasn't planned. And I know I almost broke you up!"

"Amie your wrong. Me and mum love you so much. Your a gift to us. Both you and Daniel."

"Well I don't believe you." she said stubbornly. Thinking her dad was only trying to placate her.

"Amie both you and Daniel should never have happened."

She frowned. "What so we are both mistakes? O lovely dad!" she said coldly.

"No look. When your mother was younger. 22 she was involved in a car crash she suffered bad injuries and almost died. Her abdomen was severely scarred. She was impaled by a metal rod. We were told that we would never conceive a child naturally. She lost a baby then."

"Whoa." she murmured softly.

"You never wondered about the massive gap between Daniel and Lexi?" he asked.

"No not really. I just figured mum wanted another kid later you know."

"Me and your mum had been married 10 years when Daniel came along. Lex was 15. We were over the moon. Really beyond words to be honest. Again when Daniel was 3 months your mum was feeling ill again. We knew there was a chance this time and we found out about you. When you were born I held you in my arms when you were seconds old. So bad tempered already." He smiled softly at the memory. "Words can't describe the feeling you have looking at your child. Something you made with someone you love more than your own life. Don't tell me that I didn't want you when I wanted you more than I have ever wanted anything in my life." he told her seriously.

"But…." she was lost for words.

"I'll admit me and your mother went through bad times when she was pregnant with you. Daniel was less than 6 months old and your mother was pregnant again and we did nearly say to hell with it but we realised that what we had together was too good to throw away. We got through it. It wasn't because of you we nearly broke up it's just stuff that all couple go through. She just so happened to be pregnant when it happened. You really don't understand how much we both wanted you. How jealous we would get when people around us were having kids and we knew it would never happen for us."

Amie's head was spinning. One thought popped in her head that stopped her in her tracks and the nager began to build again. "Doesn't change the fact that she's gone though does it dad. She wanted me so much and yet she LEFT! And don't tell me she didn't want it to happen!" her chest was heaving and she was barely containing the emotion inside. All these things she had wanted to say for years were coming tumbling out and she felt like she couldn't stop them.

"What happened Amie? When we used to talk about your mum you used to be happy you were hers. Proud she was your mum." he told her.

"Who made you talk about her to me huh dad?" she asked.

"No one." he answered.

"Fine then who suggested it?"

He shook his head and exhaled. They were getting no where fast. "Yes, Missy used to suggest it but I did it because I wanted to. Look Missy was better at knowing when you needed to talk then me."

Amie couldn't hear him talk about Miss right now. Her emotions felt too raw. She swallowed the ball of emotion lodged in her throat. He had to leave NOW! "Just leave me alone please. I'm tired." she was really shattered and upset and it was all starting to build up and she was gonna explode. She turned her back to him. Her shoulders shook.

"Amie baby" he said worried about her. She wasn't an emotional person usually. As a child she had been like that but as an adult she had never cried. She was controlled.

Amie's hands swiped at her eyes. Don't cry! Your in the army. The secret service. You never cry or they will know your weak. Suck it up and stay strong. Stronger than steel! She inhaled deeply and composed herself. Turned to face her father. She looked at concerned green eyes and crumpled again she ran to him and buried her face in his chest.

"I'm losing the nearest thing to a mum I have ever had dad." she cried softly.

So that's what's bothering her. Why all the mum comments were doing her head in. Although she never showed emotion she had always felt things deeply. It was a good thing but bad too.

"Miss won't leave you Ames."

"You said mum didn't have a choice. Who says she will?" she sniffed.

"Miss is stubborn Amie. Stubborn to the point of insanity sometimes. She is far more mule headed than your mother was. Where do you think Ryan gets it from?"

"You." she answered.

He laughed softly. Then turned serious once again. "Look Ames I'm not gonna lie to you. She isn't well and her prognosis isn't good but this is Missy. Our Missy she'll bounce back and be as good as new in no time at all."

This was the second time he had had this chat today. Had had it with Ryan too. Caroline was flying over to come and take him home.

Amie's tears had subsided but she still held on tonight to her dad. They didn't really hug much anymore. She knew that Lexi was his favourite and she was cool with that.

"You should have told me how you felt Amie. We could have sorted this earlier. At least it's better now though." he told her.

She pulled back and wiped her eyes. Sorted? What exactly was sorted. Did she think he had changed her mind over what she said? "I can't forgive her dad. And I meant what I said about Missy, about her being my mum. She may not have gave birth to me but she had been there for every time I needed somebody. Comforted me when I cried. Supported me when I was low. Picked me up when I fell down. That is a mum isn't it dad?"

Danny began to struggle. See a mum was all those things but Amie is Alice's daughter. Missy as much as he loved her and he really did would never be Amie's mum in his eyes. Same way Alice would never be Ryan's. So hearing his daughter talk in this way….

"Look Amie, Missy isn't your mum. She never will be." he said softly. "I could understand you feeling like this if you had a mother who didn't love you or didn't care but she did and I have no doubt that she still does!"

"How do I know Alice loves me? I can't remember her. All I have is photo's of her smiling and videos of her cooing at me. She isn't here! The only maternal love I remember comes from Missy and now you are telling me I shouldn't see her as my mum? Thanks a lot dad!" she fumed. Stormed from the room and slammed the door - hard.

**A/N i thought they were gonna sort things there - until danny opened his mouth :O **

**well there is more to come. much more than u think probably. this has started a whole chain of events which will drastically alter the WHOLE family. oooo bet ya dying to know what i have planned :D x**


	15. Support Her Danny!

Amie had left the house in turmoil. She decided to go and bounce her feelings off Miss at the hospital. Fair enough she was unconscious but then she could speak freely and finally tell her how she felt inside. She arrived at the the hosapital in no time and was sat beside her holding her hand. Trying vainly to gather her errant and erratic thoughts.

"Look Miss I'm having a problem and I really need help with it."

She sat and thought about the many reply's Missy would tell her. Mainly just to tell her the problem and not to worry. 'Sit and tell me about it. A fresh perspective is always good.'

"Look….um….well Miss. I want a mum. I can't remember ever having one. Not really. I've never called anyone mum. Well not that I remember anyway." she said sadly. "And I think of you as my mum and I know you see me as your daughter. You told me we're very alike." she said quickly breathing heavily. "Miss you can't die I can't lose the only mother I have ever had. You don't understand what losing you will do to me. So please stay strong. Don't leave me. There are so many things I still need you to help me with. Like how to curb this wild streak in me. And how to stop dad driving me crazy with his over protectiveness. Plus normal everyday stuff. So don't go. Stay Miss." Please. She prayed.

(X)

Danny was sat at the kitchen table in Shauna's pondering his youngest daughter. The radio was on low and he tapped his fingers along to the beat absently. Amie Amie Amie he wondered. What was he gonna do with her? Shauna walked in and he didn't notice. He was concentrating hard. Then he noticed her and nearly fell off his chair.

"What you doing home? Miss?"

"Is the same. Amie showed up pretty emotional. Said she had stuff to say. Private stuff. I let her be."

Danny exhaled. "Me and Amie…well we didn't argue but…." he raised his hands in a gesture of frustration and lowered them again. "Problem is her attitude mirrors Missy and my attitude is the polar opposite. So we clashed - badly."

"So in a nutshell you had a personality clash with your daughter then?" Shauna asked sitting down.

"Sort of." his fingers drummed again. "And I'm sitting trying to figure stuff out and to be honest I can't." he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Well I'm here if you need me Danny." she got up and walked to the fridge.

"It's a tough one Shauna and I just can't get my head around to Amie's way of thinking. I dunno if anyone could to be honest." he frowned. "Amie said she hates Alice and wishes Missy was her mum!"

"WHOA!" Shauna declared.

"See I knew I was right! I went in shock when she told me."

"What did you say in reply?" Shauna asked.

"Well I told her Missy would never be her mother. I could understand if she had a rubbish mother who didn't love her but Alice does."

Shauna winced. "Way to use tact Danny!"

"Shauna I don't understand Amie. I never have. She is nothing like me or Alice. Or even Lex, Ethan or Daniel. She is EXACTLY like Miss. Fair enough she looks like Alice but she has Missy's attitude, the way she acts. The way she looks at things." he exhaled and raised his hands to the heaven in a help me gesture.

Shauna nodded. "I do see your problem. I can see Missy in her a lot now. Missy at 20 flighty. Hard to control. Bounced around. Happy go lucky but she felt things deeply and if anything hurt her she ran away. She wanted excitement and you couldn't tell her anything. Had to learn lessons by herself."

"Plus Shay Amie is in the freaking secret service! I mean Christ Almighty I wanna hog tie her and lock her in her bedroom until she agrees to stop the madness! You should have seen her in the hospital when a man had a knife ranting. She was scary Shauna. She sorted two people in less than a minute. Everyone was panicking but not Amie she just pushed me back a little and sprang. I should have been proud but all I could think of was what if he turned around and stabbed her!"

Shauna again nodded in agreement. Brought her sandwich over to the table and picked at the crusts deep in thought. "I see where your coming from Danny."

"And all this stuff with her mother I hate that she see's Alice like that. Her mum is just amazing you know. I need to make her see her mother in the best way!" he stressed.

"I dunno if you can Danny. She needs to sort through that stuff. I hate that she sees Alice that way to." she went silence for a moment. "I suppose I see Amie's side too."

Danny frowned.

"Well didn't Alice do the same with my mum? She lost her own mother at 12. Fair enough she was alot older than Amie was and didn't have the resentment Amie does but she still did it. People, kids especially tend to gravitate towards motherly figures and Missy has so much love to give. We both know that. Amie was just doing the same as her mum did."

"But Missy isn't Amie's mother!" Danny stressed.

"And my mum wasn't Alice's either." she told him. "Plus isn't you adopting Ethan the same thing too. You wouldn't have batted an eye if he called you dad or Alice mum. But Amie calling Missy mum is out of the question."

"Amie wants to call Missy mum?" he squeaked.

"She probably doesn't even remember having a mother Danny. It's natural she wants to call someone mum. Frankly I'm surprised this hasn't happened before now. Then again you say she'd like Miss so she was probably scared to ask." she tried to tell him.

"You don't understand and I am sure there is no way Amie want's to call Missy mum ok!" he said on a breath.

"No Danny you don't understand. Coz see I just figured it out!"

"Enlighten me." he said dryly.

"Well if your gonna be like that Danny." she told him and bit her sandwich finally.

"No I'm sorry. Tell me please."

"Right Amie idolised her mother yeah. I remember after she died Amie would chatter constantly. My mum's the best things like that."

He nodded.

"When did that stop?"

"Um I dunno. 13 or something. When she was a teenager."

Shauna held her hands up in a ta da gesture.

"What?" he asked clueless.

"Men!" she breathed. "She was 13 and hormonal."

"O." he thought then "Ooooooo" he dragged it out. Made a face. "I didn't deal with that stuff Miss….ahhh."

Shauna smiled.

"Missy has been there for her. Alice wasn't. She was 6 years old danny. I repeat has it occurred to you that she doesn't remember her mum."

"How do you forget your mum? You just don't!"

"Give me two memories of your mum at 6." Shauna told him.

"I'm in my 50's!"

"Danny stop being pedantic!" she hissed. "Anyway look you need to shift the focus off Alice!" she gestured her hands to punctuate the statement. "Regardless of how you feel your daughter is losing her mum. Not her mother but her mum and if that was Alice lying in there you'd be supporting Amie. You should do the same for Miss!"

He sat lost in thought. Shauna was right. Amie's little show of emotion proved how much she was feeling this and he needed to be a supportive father instead of telling her how to feel. A song started playing. This song was the first song he and Missy ever danced to. On their first proper date as an exclusive couple. She had wrapped her arms around him and held him so tightly and hummed in his ear.…..Hummed! She hummed! This was the song she hummed when she was unconscious. Sat up straighter. "I get it Miss!" he whispered.

"Sorry." Shauna answered, "I didn't hear you."

"Can I borrow your Ipod dock?"

Shauna shrugged. "Yeah sure."

(X)

Amie was still sat with Missy. Her head was going round and round in circles. Being here hadn't helped. It just made her worse. She didn't want Missy to die and here she was so helpless. If she could fight this thing she could help but all she could do was it and go slowly out of her mind. Her mind stagnant with nothing but Missy dying to think about. Her dad walked in. She didn't look at him. Didn't want another fight.

"Amie…" he said as he saw her.

"Don't dad. Just don't ok!" she told him stubbornly.

"I know you having a rough time at the minute. So I wanna let this subject of your mum rest for a little while."

"What Miss?" she asked defiantly.

Danny clenched his teeth. "Your mum is Alice."

"Why can't you understand?" she asked heatedly.

"Your mum loves you Amie!"

"Yeah I know Missy loves me. I never doubted it."

"Alice loves you!" his voice slightly raised.

"Says you!" she retorted.

"You know what I'm gonna stay quiet coz this is doing my head right in!" he breathed.

Amie crossed her arms and sat silently.

Danny went in a carrier bag and removed the Ipod dock and placed his Ipod on there. He then flicked through some songs until he found the one he looked for. Shania Twain From This Moment began to play.

**You're the reason I believe in love  
****And you're the answer to my prayers from up above  
All we need is just the two of us  
My dreams came true because of you  
From this moment as long as I live  
I will love you, I promise you this  
There is nothing I wouldn't give**

As that part played Danny clutched her hand and told her mentally that this is how he felt and if she came back to him he would tell her everyday in every way imaginable. All she had to do was open her eyes and come back. He put the song on repeat and listen to it so many times that he could sing it backwards if he had to. Amie just sat there and looked at Missy. He sat and pondered over his daughter again and Missy. Physically they looked nothing at all alike. But they were close and had this bond that he didn't understand. Missy just understood Amie in a way he was incapable of doing. He was trying but it was so hard. The only way they were alike was they both loved and needed Missy a lot. More ways they were alike filled his head. It seemed she was more like him in more ways than they thought. He felt an urge to tell her that!

"You know we say your like Alice but I think your more like me than anyone gives to credit for." He told her.

Amie ignored him. Held Missy's hand. His comments niggled at her though. "How am I like you then dad?" she finally asked. Curiosity getting the better of her. Thank God she was a cat that's all she could say coz she had a feeling this would have taken ten of the nine lives they had!

"We both see things a certain way and struggle to appreciate other people's opinions and point of view."

Amie frowned. "I do see other people's opinions!"

"You dis-regard them." he said.

"No I don't!" she hissed. "Every opinion is valid."

"Even if they are wrong?" he asked.

"There is no such thing as a wrong opinion. An opinion isn't fact it's a belief. There are opposing opinions!" she was angry that her father thought she was so shallow minded! Her blue eyes flashed fire like her mothers used to.

"I understand about losing your mum." he said softly.

"No you don't so don't even go there!"

"Ames."

"Did you lose your mother at 6 years old dad. No of course not so don't bullshit me and try to tell me you understand coz you can't ok!"

"Amie you and I both know that I love Missy more than anything but no amount of wishing will change the fact that she isn't your mum and never will be. As soon as you make your peace with that you'll feel better."

"Missy IS my mum!" she hissed angrily.

They were both on their feet glaring at each other. Their focus was off Miss. Her hands slowly began to clench and her face was pain filled and contorted. Sweat beaded her forehead her body slowly becoming stiff. She let out a huge gasp that gained their attention.

"MISS?" Amie asked panicked. Saw her in that state.

Missy's eyes had opened slightly but it was like she was looking past them at something they couldn't see.

"I'll do it…" she muttered. "I'm safe don't be daft Shay." her hand flew to her chest and clutched it. "You bet I'll jump outta that window." she panted. "I can't do this anymore. We can't be together Danny." she murmured heartbrokenly turned her head. "I'll take care of them Alice." she then went deathly still and eerily quiet.

The nurses and doctors were in the room Amie was stood tears streaming down her face. Her dad took her hand and pulled her outside.

"That can't be good dad. She was in so much pain. All those jumbled sentence. I recognised some of them dad. It's like her life passed before her eyes. Dad she's gonna die isn't she?" she moaned.

Danny watched as a nurse walked from her room looking concerned. Exhaled.

"C'mere baby." he wrapped her in his arms. Held her for a long time.

"Her eyes were open Amie."

"But she couldn't' see us dad!" she retorted.

"We don't know that Amie. I'd put money on her being ok!"

**A/N ok but is danny right? Is missy ok or is she gonna die? Is her death what changes the family drastically or is it something that happens later? hmmm lots to think about.  
PLUS - danny and amie seriosly clashing and you can bet it doesn't end here.  
FINALLY - i am really quite excited with where this is going. wrote a bit last night which i can't wait to upload although it is a few chapters off yet so i'll have to type really quickly :) hope u enjoyed x**


	16. Outrage

Danny and Amie were made to wait a long time as they conducted tests on Missy. They were finally allowed back in her room and to their happy surprise she was awake. Groggy and nearly incoherent but awake. They sat by either side of her.

"Miss I'm so happy your awake." Danny kissed the back of her hand.

She nodded tiredly. Eyes half open.

"How do you feel Miss?" Amie asked worriedly.

Her shoulders lifted a little.

"Can you talk?" Danny asked.

Again the slight shoulder lift. She turned her head to Amie swallowed dryly. "You ok?" it came out croaky. "Army." she elaborated.

Amie smiled. "Yeah I am. You should worry about the people against me."

Missy smiled. "Your mothers daughter."

Amie's smile fell slightly. So Missy didn't see herself as her mum either. She was motherless. She never had a mum and never would!

"Ames?" Missy asked frowning.

Danny glared at Amie sending her a silent you dare! Amie knew Missy didn't need to hear this stuff.

"I'm good Miss." Amie assured. Sat back in her chair deep in thought.

"Ryan?" Missy asked Danny.

"He's gone home." Danny told her. "He was worried about you."

"Poor baby." Missy murmured weakly.

Amie began to get her restless feeling. She felt like she didn't belong again.

"If this is my honeymoon Danny it's rubbish." Missy told him after suppressing a yawn.

He smiled.

"I do remember your idea of a first date." she murmured. "Litter picking at Leopards Den."

Missy was trying hard to keep the weak edge from her voice. She was also fighting sleep she wanted to visit with her family.

"Just go to sleep Miss." Amie murmured.

"I used to send you to bed kid." she retorted.

"Not that I listened." Amie replied.

"You were a little angel for me most of the time." Missy smiled remembering little Amie.

"Just coz you knew how to handle me." Amie smiled back at the fond look on Missy's face.

"Coz you're a mini me." she said with a laugh and then a larger yawn.

"Amie is right Miss. You need to sleep." Danny told her.

"Sick of me already."

"O yeah." he murmured lovingly and ran his hand down her face in a caress.

Missy rested back. Exhaled and closed her eyes.

As soon as Missy was asleep Amie stood up. Her restlessness grew by leaps and bounds. She had to get moving.

"Your leaving?" her dad asked.

She nodded.

"Another op."

Amie shrugged.

"You could at least wait til Missy is better. Your like a daughter to her."

Amie was suddenly livid. Her breathing heavy. "So she can see me as her daughter but I can't see her as my mum. Isn't that double standards dad?"

"She loves you all as if you are her kids. She doesn't see you as her kids. Those are two different things!"

"And I love her like a mother! Why is it so wrong for me to see her in that role. Tell me why I shouldn't see her like that dad!"

"Coz she isn't your mum Amie!" her dad had got up and blocked the exit.

Amie walked over to the door. "Move please dad." she said.

"Stay for a few more days Amie. Please. We don't see much of you."

"And your gonna see even less of me from now on if you don't move dad. I don't like being boxed in!" she warned.

Instinctively she scoped out the room.

"What is running through your head Amie?" Danny asked. He knew what she planned.

"To move you if I have to!" she warned. "And you know I can do it!"

Things were starting to escalate. Far quicker and far worse than either person expected. Her dad refused to move and it annoyed her no end. If this was the way he wanted to do it then so be. She had gave him enough warning!

"Don't do this dad!" she hissed angrily and took a step forward….. She couldn't do it. Stomped her foot in frustration. "Is there any wonder I went in the army dad?" she yelled.

He frowned.

"I did it to get away from you! From your smothering and your head doing and you constantly underestimating what I'm capable of!"

"Amie if you acted like an adult I'd treat you like one!" he retorted.

"And if Alice had acted like my mum maybe I'd see her that way but obviously she never had the chance! And maybe if you trusted me to make my own decisions I wouldn't have joined the army so if I get hurt or killed it's ALL on you!" she spat.

"So you joined the army to blame it on me if you got hurt?" he asked confused.

She crossed her arms. "No. I joined the army to prove that I'm good at stuff. I was never really clever like Daniel. Or charming and funny like Lexi. Or good at reading and understanding people like Ethan. I was….am the black sheep in the family. You made it worse too coz half the time I felt invisible to you. You never told me if I did something good, too busy gushing over your other important kids! Missy told me though. She actually acted like I existed!"

"So your saying I don't love you?" he asked. He had no idea what she was trying to say.

"Why has everything got to be about you?" Amie asked angrily.

"Amie I'm trying I really am but…"

"No your not dad. It isn't hard!" she interrupted.

"Amie I'm sorry baby but I don't understand you. I never have. You're a puzzle to me." he finally admitted to her.

"Missy understands me and she isn't related. What is so hard about understanding me?"

"Missy understands coz she knows the angle your coming from. Thinks and acts like you did when she was your age. Amie I have never been like that so I can't!"

"THAT is why I love her like my mum. She just knows me. Without me having to spell everything out for her. Why can't you understand that?"

And now they were back at the beginning. Danny rubbed his eyes. "We shouldn't be arguing here."

"Let me leave then." she negotiated.

"Amie if you love Miss like you say you do then you wouldn't go til she is better."

Her eyes darkened. "O lovely dad. Emotional blackmail. You don't think I should feel like that but you'll happily use the feelings against me!" she fumed.

"For God's sake at least I acknowledged them. What more do you want?"

"To leave!" she hissed.

"Fine then. Run back to the army, go get yourself killed. Or maimed. Break her heart. Destroy mine. Hurt your brothers and sister." he said coldly standing aside and gesturing to the door for her to leave.

"Right. I think that you should come home too coz it's past time we had this out!"

Danny shook his head. "I don't think that's a good idea!"

"You come home dad or you lose me for good!" she warned throwing down an ultimatum.

"Don't threaten me Amie. I'll always be your dad. Nothing will change that and nothing will change that I love you."

"FINE THEN!" she hissed. "As far as I am concerned Daniel both of my parents are dead!" she walked from the room and didn't look back at him once.

Danny ran his hands through his hair in frustration. Told himself not to go after Amie. If he went after her it would only cause more arguments and he didn't want that. He loved his daughter and knew they would be alright. She just needed time to calm down.

(X)

The next day after Amie had a long sleep. As in crashed for nearly 15 hours she returned to the hospital. Saw Melissa sat there looking fully awake and alert. Still very pale but her breathing was better. She wasn't struggling anyway.

"Amie." Missy said and beamed a huge smile at her.

"Missy." she replied with a answering grin. She ignored her da…. Daniel.

Amie looked between then and frowned.

"Amie…." Danny said.

"Hey Miss I just finished my first op you know. I was so nervous but excited too." she ignored her dad. Acted like he never spoke to her.

"Ames." Missy told her. "Your dad…."

"Isn't here." she finished simply.

"O she has her stubborn head on this morning!" Danny stated.

Missy looked at Danny in shock. He was never like this with his kids.

"Did you hear anything Miss? I didn't!" Amie said angrily. Her voice betraying that she heard and he was annoying her.

"All this coz Missy isn't your mum!" he fumed.

Christ! Missy thought. Did they even realise how alike they sounded? Danny and his daughter were having a major personality clash and she wasn't well enough to deal with it properly. She had to try though. "C'mon Ames, Danny can we just…."

"Missy is my mum whether you like it or not!" Amie yelled glaring at him.

"No she isn't!" he retorted. Certain Missy was gonna back him up.

Missy gasped in outrage. "Excuse me?"

Danny frowned at her. "Well your not her mother."

"Of course I'm not her mother. But I have been a step mum to ALL of the kids since Alice passed away."

"Well yeah but…" he said wearily.

"So why the argument?"

"Coz you aren't her mum Miss. Alice is!"

"And you think I'm trying to replace her?" she asked hurt, incredulous. "You think I'd do that? I carved out my own place in the kids lives. If Amie sees me in that way I don't see the problem. She knows I'm not her mother but we have the bond that mums and daughters have!"

"But you aren't her mum!" he stressed. Why couldn't they see that?

"So I juts did motherly duties then?" Missy asked dryly.

"Yeah." he nodded. She was getting it.

"Well Danny is that not a mum?"

He frowned. "Well I guess. If you had that blood bond. Look we have Ryan. Ryan is your son. Daniel isn't." he explained.

"That's like saying Ethan isn't your son." she retorted.

He crossed his arms. "They have an amazing mum already."

"I don't wanna replace her. I couldn't. I wouldn't insult her memory even trying." she exhaled. "It all boils down to that you think I'm not good enough to be their mum doesn't it?"

She was getting angry. Her heart monitor started beeping faster as her blood pounded through her veins viscous and hot.

"Miss." Amie cautioned her.

"Miss we'll talk about this when your better." Danny suggested.

"No!" Missy declared angrily. "We'll talk about this now!" she was breathing heavily when her monitor began squealing frantically.

Missy grabbed her chest and started gasping. Uneven breaths. Her face was getting paler and her lips were going blue. Amie hit the panic button and the doctors were soon in the room. One ran outside and nurses entered too. Missy was lain on her back panting. Unable to catch her breath.

"Melissa I need you to take slow deeps breaths off the oxygen." a doctor told her as he placed the mask over her face. Amie and her dad were led from the room. Both wearing matching looks of concern.

"Look what you started!" Danny said under his breath. Amie heard every word.

"What I did? I ignored you. It was you with your smart comments!"

"You should show me some respect I'm your father!"

"Well I wish you weren't! I wish you had never came back from that plane crash!" she hissed.

"Well I wish I'd never had you!" he retorted quickly. Not thinking about what he was saying.

"I knew that was how you felt! I'm happy that you feel like that. Coz now I can tell you to go to hell and not feel at all guilty. So FATHER go to hell and don't talk to me again!" she left her father standing there. He covered his face with his hands.

What the hell had happened? Why the hell was the family going down the drain. Miss in hospital. Amie and him not speaking. Lex and Ethan split up. Zoey missing! I mean for Christ's sake what more could go wrong?

**A/N this isn't gonna last forever but it has came to a head and if they dnt sort it soon then danny is gonna lose his daughter! But is he gonna lose his wife too? keep reading x**


	17. Revelations

The doctor walked out a short while later. He came straight over to Danny.

"I don't know what happened in there but her heart began beating an irregular rhythm which caused her to become breathless and panic. I am only going to say this once - If you put her under any more stress then you won't be allowed in there again. She doesn't need stress!"

Danny nodded seriously.

"She is awake and her breathing is stabilised. You have been warned. Melissa is my number one priority."

"Thanks you doctor. I'm happy you feel like that. She is my number one priority too!" Danny assured he then walked into Missy's room. Her eyes were closed and she was taking deep breaths. Slow and steady. Her eyes opened at the sound of the door opened and she looked at him wearily.

"I'm sorry Danny."

"Miss I don't think this is…."

"You need to go and make up with Amie." she told him.

"Me and Amie are fine Miss." he lied.

"Then why isn't she here? Danny don't try to lie to me. You're a terrible liar. Find your daughter and make up with her before she goes to wherever the army sends her. You'll never forgive yourself if she goes away and you weren't speaking coz who says she'll come back."

He nodded, "Thanks Mrs Trevanion."

She smiled as he called her by her new name.

"I like the sound of that." she murmured.

"Me too. Best name you could ever be given." he said cockily.

The nurse entered.

"Here's the nurse with my night night pill. Find Amie Danny!" she told him sternly.

"I will." he promised.

(X)

Amie had wandered aimlessly around Glasgow shopping centre for a while. She shouldn't argue with her dad. And she shouldn't have said the stuff she said. He just infuriated her so much and she wanted to strangle him! They just shouldn't butt heads. Keep their opinions to themselves. He had said stuff too. Stuff she knew that deep down was true. She had thought about what he said. How her mum had been injured. They had wanted Daniel so much. But her, they knew they could have kids by then and her dad said that they found out about her. Like she was a surprise. If she was planned then she wouldn't have been a surprise! She knew it all along. It was why it didn't hurt her as much as she thought it would.

She knew that Missy had a strained relationship with her dad too. Was there a way she wasn't like that woman? She desperately needed to talk to Miss and maybe gain some perspective but any time her and her dad seen each other all they seemed to do was yell and say things they didn't mean. She loved her dad she really did but… she exhaled. You know what? This is all her mothers fault. If she had lived then her and her dad wouldn't be arguing! The issue they butted heads about wouldn't even exist and Missy might not be in hospital and she wouldn't be the way she was and maybe just maybe her dad would understand her! When she had finished her mental rant she realised she couldn't go and see Missy. If she loaded all this on Missy it would no doubt stress her out and her heart might play up again. Plus she knew how much Missy loved her dad and she didn't want to be putting her in an awkward position of maybe having to chose a side.

Missy in a way was like a best friend. When you lived on a game reserve in the middle of nowhere and had few people around you, you learn to lean on those who you love the most and whoever was closet to you. She decided just to go see her. Not to say anything to her, or stress her out. Just to say goodbye. And if her dad was there she would just leave!

She arrived at the hospital and thankfully her dad wasn't there but Missy was asleep. Deeply. Amie didn't have the heart to wake her so she backed away to leave.

"I can feel someone thinking hard." Missy murmured drowsily. "My good dream vibes are being interrupted." she smiled. "There is a disturbance in the force." she said seriously.

"Sorry Miss." Amie said sincerely.

"Joking Ames." Missy yawned.

"I'll go and let the force…..be forcey?" she said with a smile. "But seriously you do need your sleep."

"No Ames. I'm fine. I'm good. Awake. Look the eyes are open and the ears are listening so spill what is bothering you and we'll see what we can do huh?"

Amie smiled.

"Tell me everything. Especially the juicy bits!" Missy added.

Amie frowned. "I can't lay this on you Miss."

"So this thing with your dad is still annoying you huh?"

Amie exhaled. "He doesn't understand us….me. He wants me to be the same as all his other kids and I'm not. I just wanna be me. Why can't he just grow up and deal with it?"

"It's hard for him. He missed the first years your life and now he'll always feel like he's playing catch up. It wasn't the same with Lex coz he had no idea about her. He feels guilty Ames."

"But why? It wasn't his fault."

Missy's eyes turned sad for a moment. "Look the plane crash. He told me that he knew he shouldn't have went but he went anyway. He hadn't you'd have had your father through your toddling years."

"There's also the other problem too Miss."

Missy nodded. "I wanted you to be my mum. From being a teenager. I just had no idea how to ask!"

"Ames you know I've always loved you like a daughter. Your very important to me."

Amie nodded.

"You shouldn't write your mother off like that though." she said seriously.

"Not you too Miss."

"Ames she is my best friend and I can't let you think she is this horrible nasty person who wanted to leave you behind. She loves you Ames!"

"Miss I don't know that and I don't know her. You've never lied to me before and I have no reason to believe your lying now but I'm sorry I just don't know!"

"When you were born your mum rang me you know. I hadn't seen any of you in a year or so. I had went off on a travelling jaunt again." she told a little white lie. She hadn't been travelling. Well not exactly! She had been running away though. "I didn't get the message she left til a few months later actually. Your mum phoned me and told me all about you. Said out of the 4 of her kids you were special!"

Amie scoffed.

"Believe me or not Ames. she said you were gonna be the strongest, smartest most resilient of all 4 of you. She was right."

"IF she said that then it's obvious she was wrong!"

"She wasn't. Your far stronger than Ethan. He falls apart when things hurt him deeply. You toughen up and carry on."

Amie looked at her.

"You more resilient and self sufficient than Lex. She is an accident waiting to happen. All the scrapes she gets herself into. She is worse than me Shauna and your mum were as kids and trust me we got in a few. Not you. And if somehow you do find yourself in a tight spot you get yourself outta there just as quick!"

Amie didn't look convinced.

"You have a serious side like Ryan but yours is sort of…. less serious if you know what I mean. You can take a joke. If someone insults you can flip it right back onto them. That is a true gift Ames. I know Ryan isn't your mum's but he is your brother so..."

Amie laughed. Then frowned. "Now your gonna tell me I'm smarter than Daniel. Get a grip Miss. I barely passed me GCSE's and we both know it. I only got through them coz I had you in my ear chanting stuff to me."

"Amie It's not your fault you are mildly dyslexic!"

"I must be such a disappointment to dad. He has like 3 kids one of whom is practically a genius and then he has me. I couldn't even read properly till my teens! And the thing was no one even noticed until you read with me on one of my school books. He wouldn't have noticed I'm just invisible to him!"

Missy ignored her bitter rant. "Actually I think you are much smarter than Daniel!"

"Now I'm certain your lying to me Miss!"

Missy shook her head. "Daniel is book smart. You are street smart. I know what I'd rather be. You think on your feet. Can talk yourself out of anything which can I say was really annoying when you were growing up. I found myself apologising for telling you off or taking stuff off you!"

Amie laughed. She hadn't realised that stuff about herself.

"Believe it Ames. and your mum know all this too and you were only what? Days old at the time!"

Amie nodded. Still couldn't shake that resentful feeling that festered.

"Now me telling you this won't change how you feel about Alice. Only you can do that and it'll take time. Took me years with my dad. But I got there and I feel happier for it. Seriously I thought I despised me dad with everything inside me but I learned to understand the person he was and why he acted the way he did and done the stuff he did too!"

Amie nodded still troubled.

"And Ames I AM your mum for however long you want me. I swore to your mother that I'd love you all like my own kids. Ignore your dad. I'll sort him when I'm better."

Amie laughed. "Thanks Miss. I've needed a mum for years I …I don't remember even having one. I have no memories of calling anyone mum."

Missy tried and failed to suppress a tired yawn. "I'm always here for you Amie." she promised. Her eyes heavy. "As your aunt. As your friend. Or as a mum figure if you need one!"

Amie smiled tears in her eyes. "Thanks mum." she whispered.

Missy's breathing was already slow and deep. Amie sat for a while.

"Amy." Missy whispered. Then murmured gibberish.

"What Miss? Repeat that yeah." put her head close to Missy's. her eyes widened as she listened to her sleepy ramblings. Her jaw dropped and her breath caught.

NO WAY! She thought. This couldn't….Missy wouldn't…..that just wasn't true!

Her dad appeared in the room, he looked dejected. He saw her and his eyes perked up.

"Amie I've been looking for you baby." he started.

"I gotta get home!" she said half panicked. She had to disprove this!

"Amie I'm sorry you know how much you mean to me!"

"Whatever dad I gotta go!" she walked passed him quickly.

**A/N ok people what did Missy say to Amie to have her react in such a manner? There is at least 3 clues in the story and one in the last 15 lines. Tell me your ideas if you want :)**** hope you enjoyed x**


	18. Arguements and Truths

Amie arrived back at Leopards Den with a plan of action. She knew what Miss had told her was complete and utter nonsense. Delusions from drugs she'd been taking I mean….she exhaled. This couldn't be true! It just couldn't! she heard angry voices as she approached the house. Then a young male.

"Nothing ever changes!" he stormed from the front door and straight into her. She caught him before he fell. It was EJ.

"Auntie Amie?" he asked. "What are you doing here?" his eyes glistened.

"Ethan. You ok?" she asked.

He bowed his head and jogged away from her. He couldn't deal with concern. His parents were more interested in arguing than worrying about him!

"What the hell is going on here?" she wondered when she heard Lexi's and Ethan's angry voices from the house. She tossed her bag to the side of the veranda and followed EJ. Ethan and Lexi never argued! She hoped Zoey wasn't too affected too. She found Ethan on the problem truck by the sheds. Well that was what she had named it. It seemed that whenever a Trevanion, by name or by blood had a problem they came here.

"Hey EJ."

"Go away Amie." he turned his back and covered his face.

"C'mon you can tell me. I'll only get the info from Amie." she coaxed.

He stood up. "Zoey? You know where Zoey is? Quick come tell mum and dad!"

"What?" Amie asked confused. "Do I know where Zoey is? I don't understand."

It was the hope that finally made him snap. He had thought for a minute that Zoey was ok and his family was gonna go back to normal.

"Look Amie…." his eyes filled. "Leave me…" a sob rose. "Alone." tears crested and fell down his cheeks.

She walked over and hugged him. "It'll be ok EJ."

"No it won't!" he cried pulling away. "Zoey has disappeared and is never coming back.

Amie froze. What? "When?"

"She's been gone for weeks now. All mum and dad do is argue. Then they stop and argue again later. I hate my life. I think I'll run away and never come back!"

"No Ethan you can't. Stay please. Your mum and dad need you more than you know."

"They need to stop arguing. I can't take it!" he told her. Wiped his eyes. "Look at what they made me do! Cry all over you." he said in disgust.

"That's what aunties are for. I can't tell you the amount of times I cried all over Missy!" then her thoughts turned to Zoey. No had told her. No one even bothered trying to get in touch!

"Do you wanna tell me what they are arguing about? Maybe I can help." she asked him.

"I dunno this time. I only caught the end. They were really going at it though. Shouting that they hate each other. To be honest I'm beginning to think I hate them too!" he admitted. "It's not dad as much as mum. She really needles him. Most of the time he walks away but I think she mentioned Zoey."

Amie felt anger build.

"She just goes to hurt him. And he falls for it every time. She has no idea what it's doing to me. it's how mum deals with sadness and worry by lashing out. But it isn't fair. On me or dad." EJ said sadly.

Amie nodded neutrally. She wore her poker face. She was gonna go and sort her sister out once and for all!

EJ sat thinking with his head in his hands. She was stood beside him.

"I'll be ok if I can be alone for 5 minutes." he suggested.

"Oh - yeah." she said. He'd gave her an opening.

"You know where I am EJ. Any problems with your parents tell me."

He nodded.

She walked towards the house and saw Ethan walk out angrily. He was heading towards some trees. He lashed out and punched one. Then rested his head against it. Saw his shoulders shaking softly.

The anger rose and rose and Amie was shaking her head in disbelief. Whatever Lex had said must have been bad to upset him in that way! She moved quicker towards the house. Entered and saw Lexi pacing in the kitchen. Tear tracks on her cheeks too. Lexi slid her phone back into her pocket.

Amie's arms were crossed trying to restrain her anger. Lexi looked up and saw her.

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" Amie asked coldly.

"You weren't here." Lexi replied.

"In other words no one tried. I can be reached at any time. Not straight away but they get there eventually!" Amie hissed.

"Amie I'm sorry…."

"Your saying the apology to the wrong person. Or shall I say people."

Lexi frowned.

"Your son and husband."

"Soon to be ex husband." Lexi corrected.

"Does it matter? You loved him once and you love your son. Your hurting both for no reason!"

"Amie you have no idea what I am going through!" Lexi fumed.

"I have no idea why you are treating Ethan in this way. Have you looked at him lately? Big Ethan not your son." Amie said angrily.

"Yeah." Lexi said dismissively.

"He looks ill Lexi! He looked thinner. Pale. Haunted, and that is what I noticed at a distance!"

Lexi crossed her arms. "I don't care."

Amie's temper snapped. She stepped forward. Eyes black. "He has lost the same as you Lex. EJ told me that all you do Is have a go at his dad. Your so freaking selfish! Hurting the ones you love coz you are incapable of showing emotion rationally!"

Lexi took a step forward too. "Shut up Amie I'm warning you!"

"Your warning me? Come and do it Lex. I'll have you on the floor in 5 seconds!"

Lexi's fists clenched.

"C'mon on then sis. Come and make me shut up!" Amie goaded.

Lexi hit the end of her tether. Swung a tight fiat at Amie. Amie leaned back slightly just out of range. Grinned cockily. Lexi swung again quickly and Amie dodged. Laughed. This enraged Lexi who without warning dived on Amie. They were rolling on the floor and Lexi hit Amie in the mouth.

"Not laughing now are you?" Lexi asked as her hand connected with Amie's lip.

Amie rolled so she was above Lexi lowered her elbow across Lexi's nose quickly. Lexi grunted in pain. She then pressed her forearm across Lexi's neck.

"Here's a warning for you sis." she said the name with a sneer. "You go for me, or hit me again and I swear I'll hospitalise you! I don't care if we are related I'll take you out!" Amie warned. Meaning every word.

"How about you do it right now baby sis!" Lexi goaded.

"Don't tempt me!" Amie hissed. Released her and stood up.

Lexi got up too. Amie went to walk away.

"Don't walk away from me Amie!"

Amie spun and had Lexi pinned against the wall in a second. "I'll only warn you once Lexi!"

"Just try it child and we'll see who hospitalises who!" Lexi hissed looking her dead in the eye.

"You are pushing my patience to the limit!" Amie fumed and held her tighter.

"Amie?" Daniel asked as he walked into the kitchen, saw her holding Lexi against the wall. Feet braced. Shoulders like stone. She was half the size of her yet had her pinned solidly. Amie released Lexi at the sound of Daniels voice. Lexi rolled her shoulders.

"Sort your family out Lex!" Amie told her coldly.

"Mind your own business Amie!" Lexi retorted.

Her fists clenched in reply. "Look I'm going…." Amie walked away.

"Talk to me Ames." Daniel said following her. He ignored Lex for the minute he and Amie were really close and he could see she was struggling with something.

Amie stopped walked and dropped her head. Then lifted it defiantly. "The only person I could ever talk to isn't here. The rest of you didn't care before I joined the army so don't bother caring now. Me possibly getting blown up helped you develop feelings huh?"

"Ames you know…" Daniel started.

"Just leave me alone. All of you. I hate all of you ok! And tell Lexi to stay out of my way! That wasn't a threat. It was a promise!" she warned. Walked into her dad's room and slammed the door violently.

(X)

Amie was in her dad's room. Going through drawers. Looking for paperwork. Anything to disprove what Missy had told her. She searched everything. Nothing. Right Amie. Missy was asleep ok! She wasn't saying anything that was true. She had to be sure though. She searched everywhere she could think of and then in someplace that were scraping the barrel! She sat on the dresser and picked up Missy jewellery box it slipped from her hand and clattered to the floor. She bent over to pick it up and noticed that the bottom was false and it was open a crack. Amie frowned and picked it up. She pulled at a sheet of paper. Unfolded it and read it. Christ it was true! Looked at the document again. Picked up another piece of paper. Studied it intently. Amie had no idea what to do. This was huge. Far bigger than anything else she could think of. Should she tell her Daniel, Ethan or Lexi? Should she tell her dad? Or did he already know the truth? Her head hurt. What about Shauna? Did Shauna know? She needed help here but she had no one to turn to!

"Stay the hell away from me!" an angry voice hissed. Daniel was pissed!

"Amie!" he shouted yelling for her.

She appeared out of her dad's room was looking at an auburned haired hazel eyed woman who suddenly looked distinctly familiar. A stubborn arrogant stance. Twinkling eyes and a very familiar grin.

"Jesus Christ!" she declared shocked. Her hand flew to her mouth as she realised who she was looking at.

"So you're the one who knows a hundred ways to kill me? I only need one. Very effective!" Amy told her. "Well then c'mon then." Amy shrugged.

Christ she sounded like her too! No way! This wasn't happening! She needed a minute.

"Sort her for me Ames!" Daniel asked. "I've had enough of her smart arse comments and her practical jokes which really aren't funny!"

"According to you. I thought they were hilarious."

"What sneaking in the surgery and setting of bangers while I'm in the office. Yeah a real laugh!"

"See you agree now!" Amy laughed. "Should have seen your face!"

Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God! There were officially two Missy's on the earth.

"Look I need to um…Daniel I'm…I just need to go freak out!"

"Ames?" he asked as she walked away.

"So your sister isn't gonna handle me! What you gonna do now?" Amy asked.

"Just watch Amy!" he warned.

"I look forward to it!" she said with a victorious grin.

(X)

No way Miss. No freaking flipping flopping flapping way! Amy was…is Missy's daughter. There was no denying it. She knew just by looking at her. The arrogant tilt to her head. Same cocky grin. The twinkle that was forever in Missy's eyes and of course there was the sense of humour. They looked different and yet at the same time the same. And no one had noticed except her! One thing she didn't understand was Missy abandoning a kid! She just wouldn't. well not without good reason. For a second when she had seen the birth certificate with a child named Amy Lynch she thought it was her. And she had wanted it to be true so badly. This Amy didn't know how lucky she was! God this Amy didn't even know her own mother was dying! She couldn't tell her. Missy had said she'd been looking for her ever since she was about 10 but had been unable to find her. And what else muddies the water was she was actually supposed to on the plane that crashed and killed her dad too! She exhaled worriedly. She had the biggest feeling that this was gonna blow up in their faces big style! Missy had asked her to carry on looking for Amy if anything happened to her for as long as she could. She looked at the one and only photograph that Missy owned. Looked at this little baby lain in a crib minutes old. What must Miss have gone through to give up her child like that? Who was the father? Had Missy cracked up after the birth like she had with Ryan? Or had Amy been the reason she cracked up with Ryan. You know guilt an stuff? Biggest question though Why? Why would Missy do that? Give her own child up?

She heard a voice behind her.

Christ she even sounded like Missy too!

"I guess I should introduce myself. I'm Amy Robinson." she said softly hands clasped behind her back like she was nervous.

Amie nodded. "Amie Trevanion."

"I don't remember you much." Amy admitted.

"Me either. Ignore Daniel. We're all really stressed out." Amie shoved the papers in he pocket.

"About your step mum? I know I'm sorry I know what's it's like losing people you love. I have no one. Just me." Then frowned like she said too much.

"You have our dad and Miss."

"Miss? I don't even know her. Why would she care about me? And he is your dad not mine, Daniel likes pointing that one out!"

Amie shook her head. "Like I said ignore him. He's an idiot. He was bluffing about me killing you too. I should kill HIM for saying it. And my dad loves you like a daughter." he loves you more than he loves me. She added silently.

"Your brothers not an idiot. He's ok. I like pushing his buttons. He's a good guy." she said with a smitten smile.

Like mother like daughter!

Amie's pager beeped. "Sorry I gotta…."

"Secret agent business?"

"Most likely. Never a moments peace!" Amie murmured. "Your not alone you know."

Amy shrugged. "Whatever I am happy with life. Sometimes being alone is better. You don't run the risk of people hurting you if your alone."

God she IS Missy's daughter, that statement alone proved it! Her attitude was exactly the same"!

Amie walked off to deal with her beeper. And hopefully figure out a way to sort this!

**A/N ok miss is amy's mother BUT why did she give her up? this will sort of be pushed to the back burner for a little while you'll see why in later chapters. exciting stuff :) cnt w8 x  
Plus amie and lexi getting into it argh they are just too confrontational these people. lol x**


	19. Favour To A Friend

Alice was sat in Missy's room alone. She was asleep. She woke intermitted asked about her kids and usually went back under. This couldn't go on forever, for one thing it wasn't fair on Missy. She was in so much pain all the time. Shauna had went home and was returning straight away. Alice had rang Karl again. Still stranded in Australia for the duration and Missy was fading fast! Alice covered her eyes they weren't gonna get back in time. These strikes were gonna go on for a while!

Missy's breathing changed.

"Ebs….Stevie?" she murmured and inhaled. "Mummy's here."

"Miss." Alice murmured. Patted her hand.

Missy opened her eyes. "Alice." she breathed and tried to smile. She ended up wincing as pain streaked though her body. She began to pant through it.

"Miss!" Alice declared.

"I'm good!" Missy told her weakly. Waited for the pain to pass. "Karl - still not here?"

"He's trying hard Miss." was all Alice could say.

Missy nodded slightly.

"Shauna?" Missy asked.

"Out for the moment."

"Good." Missy said. "Look Alice I can't hang on much longer. I feel myself growing weaker. All the drugs they are giving me are prolonging my life but they are making the pain worse."

"I don't know what your telling me Miss." Alice said scared at what she was saying.

"Stop the drugs. Tell them to get rid of the machines. They can actually help someone who is going to live! I know my chances are slim. I'm tired Alice."

"But Miss you'll…."

"That's inevitable at this point Alice. I know you'll do this for me. Shauna isn't strong enough but you are!"

"Missy please. Don't ask me to do this!" Alice pleaded.

"I NEED you to do this Alice!" Missy said tiredly.

Alice shook her head in denial.

"Please! I can't live like this anymore. My whole body feels like it's on fire. All I feel is pain. Even asleep or unconscious it's always there! I always was soft!"

"How can I tell them to kill you?" Alice asked tears blurring her vision.

"Coz it's what's best for me. I want to stay and watch my babies grow. And have more fun messing with Danny with you and Shauna but it's not going to happen. All the drugs do is delay the inevitable." shudders wracked her body. Almost as if to punctuate the statement. Her eyes began to roll, she inhaled sharply and audibly. Focused herself.

"I need you to do this Alice." she said quickly. "Please. For me!"

Alice went to get a doctor to settle Miss. They came in and gave her more pain relief.

"If you love me…" Missy murmured as sleep over took her.

Alice closed her eyes. Way to go with the emotional blackmail Miss! As Alice sat and watched Missy sleep she had a feeling that there is a chance this could be the last time she spoke to her best friend.

"It's a good thing I love you Miss!" she murmured and held her hand.

(X)

Alice and Shauna were sat talking with Missy's doctors. Alice didn't wanna bring up the subject that was weighing heavy on her mind.

"Look, I know I don't have to tell you that Mrs Healy is deteriorating rapidly." the doctor stated. Shauna's eyes darkened.

"We know." Alice said sadly.

"The machines could be used for other patients." he added.

Missy's words too Alice thought.

"Look her kids and husband just need time to get here." Shauna said. Shauna looked at her for backup but she was silent thinking about what Missy had told her.

"We are going to withdrawn the equipment in two days time." The doctor told them.

"But the strike!" Shauna shrieked. "The airlines!"

"It's the best I can do!" he said softly.

"NO the best you can do is save her life!" Shauna countered.

Alice put her hand on her arm and shook her head. Shauna ignored her.

"You swore to the Hippocratic oath. Do no harm! You take the machines away and she dies!"

"She is barely living as it is Miss O Donnell.. She has moments of lucidity. We pump her full of drugs for pain. Her body can't take much more of this!" he told her. "We were barely able to piece her back together. It is going to be kinder in the long run to let nature take it's course and let her drift away then prolong her pain." he told her.

"We aren't going to let our friend…." Shauna started.

"Shauna for once think about what's best for Miss instead of yourself!" Alice snapped. Exhaled sadly. "Look I want Missy here as much as you do but I don't want her suffering or off her head." she was breathing heavily. "I'm going back to Miss!" she left the room quickly. She didn't know how much more of this she could take. I mean they couldn't sugar coat it? Obviously not - the hits just kept coming

Alice walked into the room and sat down. Held her head in her hands. Thought about happier times with her friend. The snowball fight a few Christmases ago. And the one they had the following yeah in which Alice and Missy had held off Danny and Lexi while Amie and Daniel had made snowballs. They had done well until Ethan came in with James. What they hadn't known at the time was that Lexi had been a rogue agent for Alice and Missy's side. Alice smiled as the tables had quickly turned. They had had more fun than the kids! Lexi had sabotaged their supply of snow and snowballs. She had ran inside and attached the hot water hose. By the time they released what Lexi was doing all of their snow had melted and Lexi ran across and joined them pelting snowballs. All of them had high fived Lexi. When Danny had asked Lexi why Lexi had said she joined the winning side this year. Her happy smile quickly turned to one of sadness when she realised that they would never have times like that again. She then began to think of a few months ago. The joke she and Danny had played on Missy. Missy had always joked that Danny shouldn't leave Alice just coz he was in love with her so they had…

(X)

Danny knocked on Missy's door briskly. Nerves in his stomach. Missy opened it and he painted a smile on his face.

"Danny what are you doing here? Are you ok? You look like your in pain!" Missy said.

What? He had to do better than this!

She looked outside. "Where's Alice?" she asked confused.

"I just flew over Miss. I had to speak to you." he said breathlessly.

"Me? Why?" she frowned.

"Yeah it is of the utmost importance!" he said seriously.

The sun shone high in the sky.

"Please Miss!" he pleaded. "This is very big. Massive, for both of us!"

"Ok." she said dubiously. Invited him in. what the hell is going on? She wondered.

They walked in. "You want a cup of coffee?" she asked.

He shook his head so she sat on a chair. He settled on the sofa.

"Sit on the sofa with me Miss!" he patted the seat beside him expectantly. Smiled at her shyly.

She looked scared. "What's with the weirdness Danny?" she sank further into her chair. No way was she sitting beside him!

He looked at her intensely. She shifted in her seat. "Danny your starting to creep me out!" she said.

"Look Miss…." he started. That was Alice's cue. Shauna had called Missy and distracted her while Alice snuck in. The phone rang.

Missy picked it up. It was Alice.

"Hey Alice. What's up with Da…."

"Danny's gone Miss!" Alice cried. "Disappeared. He said he was in love with you"

"I love you Miss!" Danny declared.

They had timed it almost perfectly. Missy dropped her phone in shock. Picked it up but Alice had disconnected.

"WHAT?" Missy shrieked. He was on his knees in front of her. Took the phone from her hand.

"We're meant to be Miss!" he said seriously.

"No we're not Danny!" she yelped trying to move away. She was trapped. "I mean Christ you're my brother!" she climbed over the back of her chair trying to get away.

"We aren't related Miss!" he said standing up. "I have all these feelings. Urges." he walked towards her slowly se dashed behind her dining room table.

"Urges?" she squeaked. "Can you just take those urges somewhere else please! C'mon Danny stop it your scaring me!"

"Miss we can make this work!" he told her smiling.

"Danny I don't see you in that way! I never have! So stop messing on!" she circled the dining room table as he walked around it. Moving in the opposite direction to him.

"Marry me!" he declared and dropped to one knee.

"Christ Almighty get up off the freaking floor! What if someone sees!"

"Are you really going to break my heart Miss?" he asked sadly.

"NO!" she told him. "Coz I know that your heart belongs to Alice!" she stressed. "Not to me OK!"

It was then Missy heard a noise which sounded like a suppressed laugh. She realised something really quickly. Oh so they wanted to play with her? Well two could play at that game!

"What do I have to do to convince you?" he asked beseechingly.

Missy turned thoughtful like she was considering. Smiled evilly. "Kiss me!" she told him defiantly. "I'll know if your feelings are true if you kiss me and I will know if I have any feelings for you!"

He froze and looked around. "What?" his voice rose an octave. It was shock plain and simple.

"You heard me Danny!" she purred. Walked towards him.

He was on his feet in a second backing off.

"You want me so badly!" she murmured looking at him predatorily

He was pale. His back hit a wall and his palms were spread flat against it.

"Well then Daniel?" she asked sweetly. Stood opposite him. Her smile wicked.

"um….." he stuttered. Willing the wall to fall down so he could escape. She reached up and leaned in at the last second….

"God you are so rubbish!" she laughed. "Alice you can come and save your husband if your done messing with me!" she yelled.

Alice walked into the room. "Danny!" she told him and exhaled. "We almost had her!"

"She was gonna kiss me!" he yelped. "She had wild look in her eyes. I've seen tamer lions!"

"Oh you wish!" Missy said laughing. "You did have me going for a while. Scared the life outta me!"

"Alice you should have seen her! She looked like she was gonna rip my clothes off!"

"Danny you couldn't handle me!" she wiggled her eyebrows.

"Why did I let you talk me into this Alice?" he muttered.

"Next time you decide to mess with me don't ask Shauna. Your better off asking me actually!"

Danny sat still pale on the sofa.

"I knew you know." Alice told Miss. "You turned it around to quickly. He fell for it though. He'll never be the same!"

"Too freaking right!" he agreed.

(-)

Then of course there had been the time Alice had asked Shauna and Missy to mess with Danny. They had lured him down to the hut saying something needed fixed then propositioned them with a threesome. He had thought it was a joke at first until he saw that the hut had chains among other things. They handed him a loin cloth and told him he was Tarzan and he was to come and find them. He had climbed out of the window and ran home. He could barely speak when he reached the veranda. Missy Shauna and Alice had been sat on the veranda waiting for him.

"Nice loin cloth!" Missy had joked. Everyone had laughed as Danny threw it at her.

"Sorry not my colour!" she had told him.

They had some good times together. With the practical jokes and the laughter. Unfortunately it seemed that they were all coming to an end!

**A/N this is sort of a filler chapter. i had slight writers block when i wrote this. i was gonna get rid but decided to keep it i dunno y. hope u enjoyed anyway :) x**


	20. Borneo

Amie was sat inside an aeroplane turning dials. They were high in the air and had been for hours. She really shouldn't be here! She was distracted and she shouldn't be! Distracted got people killed. Namely herself. And the guy in the seat beside her! She knew she'd be fine though. She looked in her radar and saw another plane flying low behind them. She passed and saw it turn quickly. No way! Not over Borneo! Malaysia and the Philippines were fighting over it again and she so didn't wanna be caught in the middle. England was in a delicate place with this country. See they had signed a protection order with the Malaysians a few decades ago and as far as she knew it was still on effect SO if any Malaysians caught up with her who sided with the Philippines she was so screwed! The plane behind her began to pick up speed.

"Dammit!" she hissed. "We got problems Tom!" Pushed her steering forward to pick up speed.

"Yeah I see 'em." he murmured and mirrored her.

Thoughts of Missy and her other problems left her mind immediately and she was 100 percent focused on the matter at hand.

Small pellets began hitting off the plane. They were flying erratically zigzagging.

"The bastard is shooting at us!" Amie declared fuming. Turned dials and pressed buttons. Moved her steering wheel side to side.

"Just a simple supplies drop boss said!" Tom muttered. "Why that agreement still stands is beyond me it's years old!"

Amie had an idea. "There's lot of cloud. I say we do a flip, roll and then drop behind them."

Tom smiled slowly. "I like your devious mind."

Amie smiled cockily. "I knew you would! You strapped and loaded?"

"Oh yeah. C'mon then Trev show me your stuff!"

Amie rolled her eyes at the man's nickname they had gave her. "Right on 3! 1.…2.…" the plane jolted violently and the engine spluttered. A siren pierced the air and beeping started. They began losing altitude quickly. The plane lurched up and down.

"Asshole took out the left engine!" she yelled over the sirens and frantic beeping. An explosion rocked the wing. "We are so screwed!" she hissed.

"We're above water!" he told her.

"I know I know!" she told him frantically trying to keep them in the air.

Her mind scrambled. It was then she knew. They were going down and there was nothing she could do to stop it! "Grab two life jackets!"

He ran and tossed one to her. She pulled it on while trying to keep the plane in the air as long as possible. She also had to try an level off the plane if the idea she had was going to work.

"When we hit the water no matter what Tom DO NOT pull the cord until you are out of the plane!" she warned.

"I know!" he said seriously.

"Brace yourself mate." she told him. He grabbed the arms of his chair. Then had an idea. Grabbed a piece of rope and tied their wrists together.

"Good idea!" she said concentrating hard.

Tom gripped the arms of his seat.

The gorgeous blue of the ocean sped towards them. It seemed ironic that something so beautiful was gonna kill them! Probably on impact!

"Good luck!" Tom whispered.

"Who needs luck? It's me!" she said cockily. Deep inside she knew that they had no chance!

**A/N insanely short chapter but i make up for it later! AND even more excitement to come in the next couple of chapters x keep reading **


	21. Unexpected

Danny and Missy were on a plane to Leopards Den. She was tired. Danny was sat watching her cautiously. She had asked the doctor everyday when would she be able to fly. She had her son to think of and she had been away for over 3 weeks by the time her patience had hit it's limit. She hated prolonged absences, they always reminded her of Jelley and the hospital. She yawned and stretched.

"Missy you ok?" Danny asked worriedly.

"Will you stop watching me like I'm gonna keel over on the spot?" she asked. "I'm fine Danny. You'd be the first to know if I wasn't!" she promised.

"You should have stayed." he told her.

"NO! I refuse to spend more than a month away from Ryan!" she said stubbornly.

He nodded. Understood in a way. Since he spent those years away from his kids he was loathe to spend time away with them but this was her health she was messing with! She was no good to Ryan dead! He didn't like this at all. She rubbed her chest.

"They shouldn't have let you fly!" he said as she made a circular motion on her chest.

"I have you to take care of me." she said lying her head on his shoulder. "Nurse Danny."

"Erm doctor Danny thank you."

She smiled and put her mouth close to his ear. "You gonna operate later doc?" she whispered.

He remembered her operation and paled.

"Danny lighten up please. That was a joke."

"Well it wasn't a very tasteful one! Your doing stuff way too fast. You should be in bed."

"I just suggested that and you didn't want to!" she retorted dryly.

He looked at her eyebrows raised. "We mean it two different ways." he rested his head against hers.

"My way's better." she muttered and made a face.

"I know what your doing. Your making a face. I can feel it on my shoulder."

"Nag nag nag!" she murmured. Suppressed a yawn.

"I just got you back Miss!" he said seriously. Pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"I know Danny." she said weakly.

"I can't lose you Miss. It'll destroy me!" he ran a finger down her face tenderly.

"Me either." she said voice softer than before.

They were quiet. Danny clutching Missy's hand tightly. After a while, "Miss." he whispered. "You asleep?"

"Mmmm." she replied.

"You ok honey. You awake?"

"Not asleep." she said tiredly. "Just checking my eyelids for pin holes." she murmured.

Danny made a confused face and laughed. "Huh?"

"Pin holes." she repeated. "Stop distracting me….hard work." she mumbled sleepily.

"You get back t it darling."

Thank you." she settled and fell into a deep sleep.

Danny pulled out his puzzle book.

(X)

A few hours later Danny nudged Missy. "Miss we need to belt up. The plane is landing."

"Minute." she muttered and covered her face.

"Miss!" he said louder.

"God!" she sat up quickly. Clicked her seat belt into place and found a spot on his arm once again.

He chuckled at her angry reaction.

"Stop it!" she said moodily.

"What?" he asked with a grin.

"Laughing at me!"

"Your so cute when your moody." leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her lips.

She sat up and crossed her arms. Scowled. An air hostess came over to see what was wrong, took one look at Missy's face and backed away quickly.

"Look Miss you scared her away!" he laughed.

"Don't push me Trevanion. I'm sleep deprived!"

"Poor baby." he whispered. Then "Hey you're a Trevanion now too!"

She looked at her left hand than at his smiling face. She smiled immediately mood gone. "Yeah."

He leaned in.

"Wait." she asked. Yawned massively then pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"HEY!" he declared frustrated at his non kiss.

"We have an audience!" she told him.

He nodded. The plane came in to land.

(X)

The plane landed and they came through customs and all the rest of it. He held her hand the whole time. He handed her, her phone as they walked outside of the airport.

"I have missed you baby!" she declared to her phone. She looked at Danny who was shaking his head in amusement. She checked her voicemail and found she had 23 messages and many more missed calls.

"I was only gone 3 weeks!" she listened to them.

"Message number 513." she muttered. She frowned as she listened.

"Lex needs to talk to you urgently. She phoned about an hour ago."

He nodded. "It'll keep til we get back.

"She sounded urgent Danny!"

"My first priority is getting you home into bed!"

"Promises. Promises." she whispered.

He wiggled his eyebrows. "For sleep only!"

"Go on burst my bubble!" he swung her around so she was in his arms and lowered his head to hers for a bone melting kiss.

"Wow." she said breathlessly as he pulled away. "Your supposed to be persuading me not to go to bed with you not the opposite."

He smiled.

They climbed into a taxi. The rocking motion made her drowsy.

"I'm so tired Danny." she said frustrated.

"The doctor said you'd feel like this." he reminded.

"Well I don't want to!" within minutes of saying that she was asleep.

The car pulled onto Leopards Den land.

"Miss honey we're nearly home." Danny said softly knowing she'd rather be fully awake when she saw the kids.

"Stop here!" she said groggily.

"What?" Danny asked.

"You heard me!" she told him.

The car pulled to a stop and she climbed out and paid the driver.

"C'mon Danny." she said and began to walk.

The driver and Danny looked at each other quizzically.

"Miss?" Danny said climbing out.

"Go on." she urged the driver.

The driver shrugged and pulled away.

"Miss?" Danny repeated.

"I can't turn up at home half dead in a taxi!" Missy explained. "The kids will worry! You have any water?"

He nodded understanding. Handed her water. Expecting her to have a drink instead she took the cap off and poured the water over her head.

"Miss?" Danny declared worried. She was acting bizarre.

She shook her head and exhaled with a "Whoo. Waking myself up!" she told him. She then pulled a t-shirt out of the bag and dried herself. Brushed her hair and clipped it up.

Danny looked at the transformation. She did look a lot better. To anyone who didn't know her really well they would say she was fine. He knew better though. Her steps were slow and measured and her smile forced. "C'mon!" she tried to sound happy but she just sounded tired.

"Miss." he began.

"Danny I'm fine!" she promised.

He exhaled loudly and began to walk beside her. Ready to catch her incase she keeled over. He saw her begin to wilt in front of his eyes. Then the house appeared and she pulled herself together. Lexi stood at the door frowning lost in thought.

"Dad?" she called.

"Hello Lex!" Missy replied for him. "Not a word!" she said to him softly.

"Miss!" she walked towards them quickly. "You should be in hospital not walking in the bush!" Lexi glared at her father.

"We did have a taxi!" Danny grumbled. Missy elbowed him.

"I'm really good Lexi. Fighting fit!" she flashed a bright fake smile. Lexi eyes her dubiously.

"C'mon Miss let's get you to bed!" Danny suggested.

"I want to see the kids!" Missy replied stubbornly.

Danny rolled his eyes. Looked at his daughter. She looked different. She was shifting from one foot to the other. Obviously hiding something.

"Any news on Zoey?" he asked.

Lexi shook her head sadly swallowed thickly.

"What's up with Zoey?" Missy asked with a frown.

Dammit! He forgot he hadn't told Missy! Danny and Lexi looked at each other.

"Miss!" Lexi began.

Missy's face turned hard. "Don't lie to me or I'll know!" she warned.

"Come inside Miss!" Danny said softly.

Missy was frowning. They led her inside and she sat down in the kitchen.

"Missy." Lexi exhaled. "Zoey is missing. Has been for two months."

"What?" Missy gasped. "You can't find her?"

Lexi shook her head and felt tears gather at the thought of her daughter.

"Miss!" Danny said worriedly.

"Well we gotta get out there and look for her!" Missy stood up. Danny laid his hands on her shoulders and sat her back down.

"Ethan is doing that." she murmured.

Danny frowned.

"Me and him have been really going at each other recently. At each others throats all the time. He just up and left this morning." Lexi finished.

"Oh Lex!" Missy murmured and put her hand over hers.

"I'm ok Miss, it's best that he isn't here. EJ was suffering."

Danny watched and saw the cogs turning in Missy's mind. She was planning something. "Right Miss. Time to go to bed!"

"No we're gonna go out and look for Zoey!" she demanded.

"You need to sleep." Lexi said. "Your ill and if you push yourself you'll end up in hospital. Please Miss I don't wanna be the cause of you getting worse. Your weak Miss. You need to get your strength up before you go traipsing all over Jo'burg!"

Missy raised her eyebrows. "I'm stronger than you kid!"

Danny picked up her arm and led her to their bedroom. "Lie down!" he told her sternly.

"Danny I need to see the kids and….."

"Do it Miss!" he said stubbornly.

"Yes sir!" she replied and saluted. "God am I like 5?" she muttered and lay down. Exhaled. Kicked her shoes off. "Stay." she told him stubbornly.

"I'll never leave you!" he promised. He lay down beside her and she pulled his arms close to her. Put her hands over his. He felt the beat of her heart close to his hands and sent up a silent prayer of thanks. Before long she was deeply asleep but he stayed where he was. Enjoyed the feeling of having her in his arms. Lying beside him once again. Where she belonged. He pressed a soft kiss to her head. "I love you. He whispered almost soundlessly. He heard a soft knock.

"Dad it's Lex." she said softly.

He gave Missy one final soft kiss. "Sleep tight honey." she shifted when he moved but settled quickly once again. He walked outside.

(X)

Danny sat with Lexi in the kitchen

"Right now that Miss is asleep tell me what's up? Is it bad news about Zoey?"

Lexi shook her head solemnly. "No dad." she forced the words past the lump in her throat.

He frowned.

She dropped her head. Inhaled deeply. Looked at him. "I couldn't say this in front of Miss coz she would seriously freak out!" Lexi started.

"Lex?" he asked worriedly.

"Dad it's Amie." she whispered.

He took a step back and inhaled sharply. Put his hand over his mouth. Started shaking his head.

"No Lex. NO!" he told her. God she was gonna tell him his little girl was...

"She was piloting a plane somewhere near Borneo. It went down. They think it was shot down."

He was breathing heavily. Tried to calm himself.

"Have they recovered…." he inhaled sharply and exhaled again. Tried to oush away the thought of Amie... NO!

"No they haven't even found the plane yet. It went down over water and they have approximate co-ordinates based on the speed she was flying and the distress signal she sent."

"I knew I shouldn't have let her go and do this!" he fumed. Pushed back the tears that were threatening to fall.

Tears trickled down Lexi's face. "She was only 21 years old dad!"

His baby girl! "Look Lex remember what happened to me. I came out fine. Plus she probably jumped out using a parachute!"

"You think so?" Lexi sniffed.

"Anything is possible! Amie is smart Lex!" his voice shook.

Lexi nodded and walked away with her morose thoughts. She couldn't talk to her dad much longer. She'd crack up. God her baby sister! All she could think of was the last words she and her sister shared.

Danny walked towards the living room. Saw photo of Amie and Alice on the wall. He stalked over and picked it up. "You promised Alice!" he hissed. Threw the photo across the room and let the tears fall.

(X)

Missy awoke to find Ryan peering over her.

"Ry?" she asked. Her voice thick with sleep.

"Mum!" he declared and threw himself on her. He kissed her cheek. Now that wasn't like her son. He must have really been worried!

"How you been baby?" she asked. Cleared her throat.

"Better." he told her. "I…I'm ok."

She sat up and rested her back against the headboard. Raised her eyebrows. "Ok? Code for?" she prompted.

He sat cross legged on the bed opposite her. "Upset. Scare. Unhappy." he whispered.

"Well I'm better now so if you feeling like coz of me then you can stop now."

"At least you are." he murmured sadly.

"I know Zoey and Ethan." she agreed. "They'll be back soon then everything will be fine."

"What about my sister?" he asked with tortured eyes. "She helped me when you were ill at Shauna and now…." he wiped his eyes and sniffed. He had heard his dad and Lexi talking.

Missy frowned. She had seen Lex and she was fine. "Ry what's up? Has something happened to Lex while I was asleep?"

"No mum it's Amie."

Missy heart plummeted. "What's up with Amie?" she asked seriously.

Ryan froze and paled. he thought his dad would tell mum straight away!

Missy saw the change in him immediately. "Ryan tell me what is wrong with Amie!" she demanded.

Ryan got up and bolted for the door. She heard him talking to his dad. Danny appeared.

"Miss."

"Don't Miss me Danny. What is wrong with Amie?"

"It might not be best…." he began.

"To hell with my heart Danny!" she fumed.

He rubbed his eyes. Exhaled. "Ryan son. Close the door please."

Ryan pulled the door closed with a click. Danny sat on the bed opposite her and gathered his thoughts. Frowned. "I've been on the phone with Amie's supervisors." he exhaled again. God this was hard! "Amie was flying a plane that went down over Borneo in South East Asia. Malaysia to be exact. She was delivering aide to some people there and she was….shot down."

Missy covered her face. Saw tears fall down her cheeks. "Is she…." came out muffled.

"MIA Missing in action. They had high hopes for her apparently."

"Had?" Missy asked voice breaking.

He nodded. "Yeah Miss. They were talking about her in past tense already."

"Bastards!" she fumed and threw the bedside clock across the room.

"My poor baby girl Miss. Her life had barely begun!" his voice shook and then broke.

"O this must be bringing it all back for you!" she murmured. Crawled across the bed and enveloped him in a hug. "She is tough and smart Danny. If anyone can find a way out of this she can!"

"Miss what if she can't though? After everything I said to her? We argued! I just want my baby girl home!"

"She'll get here Danny. Don't doubt it!"

(X)

The next few days passed slowly. A whole week trickled by eventually. Danny phoned daily for updates. They had found the wreckage of the plane. What was left of the plane anyway! Divers had been down. No bodies but they believed that sharks or other marine animals had seen an easy meal. They didn't hold out much hope for finding them. The remote transmitter than had been surgically placed under Amie's ear wasn't transmitting. They hadn't made any contact at all in the whole time they had been missing. He stood at the telephone as it rang wishing that they were gonna tell her that they found her safe and well and unharmed. Unlikely. Stupidly he had looked up Borneo. They were having a major war over there. The Philippines claimed the land was their and the Malaysians refused to give it up! Why couldn't she just phone him and say dad I'm fine and when he saw her he'd get on his knees and beg her forgiveness and tell her he didn't care who she thought her mother was as long as she was still here and safe!

He saw his son's silhouette looking up at something in the doorway.

"D….d….dad!" his voice shook.

"Ryan?" Danny asked walking towards him. "You ok?"

"Dad there's a plane aimed straight at the house!" he said his voice shocked.

"WHAT?" Danny exclaimed. Knowing this was no joke Ryan wouldn't jpke about this! He was outside in a second. His jaw dropped and his heart stopped for a second. Sure enough a plane was coming steadily down and was gonna hit the house. It grew bigger by the second.

"MISSY!" Danny yelled back inside the house. Pushed Ryan down the stairs. "Get the hell outta here. Run to Lexi's as fast as you can and tell her to get in her truck and drive as far and fast as she can!"

"But dad…"

"GO! Ryan NOW!" he yelled. "I'm gonna get your mum. I swear I'm right behind you!"

As Ryan ran into the bush he disappeared back into the house. Shouted Missy's name. The sound of the plane above him almost deafening. There was a sudden orange flash and a crash. He covered his head and dived across the floor. There was a screeching and groaning and the house shook. Debris begin to rain down on top of him. He covered his head and prayed.

**A/N This is only the beginning of the excitement I promised you! What do you think? Hope u enjoyed and keep reading for more x**


	22. Crash land

**Borneo**

Amie sat in the plane pulling with all her might. This wasn't working! She just had to keep the plane level. When she saw the water was only slightly below them she swallowed thickly and nodded.

Tom squeezed her hand. She looked at him. Their eyes held sending a silent it was nice working with you.

So with the water slightly below her she tilted the left wing to try and slow them down. it hit the water and the plane jolted. She then tilted the right wing. It was working the plane was slowing so she carried on.

"Amie what you…."

"Shut up!" she yelled. She had to concentrate. If she tilted too far in either direction then the force of impact would make the plane flip and take them down with it! The left wing was eventually torn off and there was nothing she could do. The belly skidded across the ocean. It was literally about a minute from going under. "Tom! Door!" she told him.

"Not without you!" he replied stubbornly.

The nose finally impacted the water. Water splashed over the top of the plane like a tidal wave. The nose quickly began to sink.

Amie unstrapped herself from her seat. Pulled out all her identification and tossed it on the seat. Tom dumped his too. She then moved to the back. Grabbed a backpack for herself and tossed one to Tom. Grabbed the pack that held the inflatable raft.

"Door!" she stated and they ran over. Tom pulled and heaved with all his might.

"Jammed!" he said.

She pulled with him but it was no use. The nose which was completely submerged began to creak. Tom and Zoey looked at each other. There was a screech and the pressure from the water made the window at the front of the plane explode. They turned as water flooded the plane and took their feet from under them. They hit the floor and slid to the back, hit the wall with a thud. Water pushed them back forcefully. The plane was filling quickly water flooding in through the broken window. It began to sink rapidly. They were on their feet and it reached their waists. Tom and Amie ran to the door and carried on pushing but it was no good. It wouldn't budge.

"Window!" she told him the water up to her chin.

"Stay together!" he told her and tugged the rope that bound them. She nodded and took a deep breath. Her head submerged. Tom followed a minute later. They were swimming towards the nose of the plane. It was full of water now and began to sink. They had to be careful. It landed on a cliff edge and the jolt caused Tom to hit off the side of the plane. His jacket catch snagged on a piece of broken metal. It inflated suddenly and he floated to the top of the plane. Bobbed around uselessly.

TOM! She thought. Resisted the urge to yell his name. She pulled the knife she kept in a sheath in her boot and stabbed at the vest. Damn army decent life vests! It was durable and wouldn't pierce and they had no time to waste trying! She shoved the knife in her coat pocket. Frowned. He shook his head and pointed to the window. She gave him a belligerent face and then the finger. He glared at her. She moved and then wrapped her legs around his chest. He wiggled his eyebrows and she rolled her eyes. Then focused. He held on tightly she then pulled Tom along. The top was mangled and gave her things to grab onto to. Her hands slipped at times but she persevered. It was slow and heavy work but she refused to leave Tom behind! She reached the chairs at the front and used those to swing him around so he was in front of her. Pushed him towards the window of the plane. She was about to swim through the window the plane lurched and began to a downward descent to sink to the bottom. The only thing that had kept it aloft was a rock face and it had slipped slowly by increments till there was nothing there anymore. The glass from the broken window sliced down her leg. She resisted crying out. The glass had snagged her combats and was dragging her down to the bottom of the ocean. Tom who had been floating to the top of the water stopped and began to descend with her. Amie looked down and saw red floating around her leg. She kicked at the window but it refused to give up it's stubborn grip. Looked up and saw Tom bobbing around aimlessly. Remembered the knife in her pocket. When Tom saw the knife glinting in the water he began gesturing wildly with his hands and head. She saluted him then cut the cord. He floated away. She kicked with all her might. Felt darkness descending. Pulled the cord on her life jacket as she felt consciousness leave her. The plane landed at the bottom with a thud and the glass on the window wobbled. Amie kicked one final time.

(X)

Tom finally broke the water and gasped as he let the air fill his lungs. He looked around. "Trev!" he called. "C'mon Trev!" he yelled treading water. "For God's sake AMIE!" he called panicking. He felt the water around him shudder and air bubbles came to the surface. He looked around again.

"Dammit Amie why?" he shouted. "I'm the more experienced officer. I was supervising you!" Actually he was assessing her. For advancement. She had been a natural. HAD he thought sadly. "You should have just let me go down!" he yelled angrily.

He saw something burst from the water then bob up and down. It was orange.

"AMIE!" he felt his heart stop as he realised she was face down in the water. He swam over and took the raft off her back, pulled the cord that inflated it. He then held on and hoisted her inside. Then heaved himself inside. Tom's mind whirled. She wasn't breathing! She had to breath!. How long hadn't she been breathing? about a minute slightly longer as far as he knew. He took off her backpack and did chest massage on her. Water ran into his eyes and he swiped it away. He breathed into her mouth. She wasn't responding.

"As your superior I'm telling you to breath!" he demanded.

She spluttered and water flowed out of her mouth down her chin. His face was inches from hers, he'd been about to breath in her mouth again.

"Don't bother kissing me!" she warned weakly. "I'd hate to have to belt you one."

"Your in trouble Trevanion. Insubordination!"

"Bite me lieutenant!" she said smiling. Tom had never noticed how stunning her smile was before.

"Next time I tell you to let me drown you let me drown got it!"

"Yes sir!" she said as he pulled her to sitting. She was taking deep breaths. The raft they were on floated aimlessly. He saw a red puddle on the floor of the raft and Amie was blinking a lot. It was then he noticed the jagged mess that was her trousers and the glass embedded in her leg. He winced. "Look Amie I'm gonna have a look at your leg."

She shrugged.

"Amie stay with me!" he ordered.

Tom looked at the glass. Well that was gonna have to come out. It couldn't stay there. She was gonna kill him. He waited til he was sure she was outta it then pulled the glass out quickly.

"OUCH You motherf…" she hit out and whacked his head.

He then poured antiseptic onto her wound.

She hissed angrily and had him pinned beneath her in a second. "That freaking hurt! Don't do it again."

"Amie get off me!" he said calmly.

She got up.

"You hit me." he said dryly.

"You freaking hurt me! And I'll do worse if you don't get rid of that antiseptic!"

He mopped up the blood around her wound then taped a pad to it.

She inhaled. "Christ why does that hurt like hell?"

He smiled at her grumbling. "I have no idea if there is any glass in there. Your gonna need an x-ray"

Amie looked at him concerned. "We're in serious trouble here Lieutenant." she used his rank to tell him the seriousness of the situation. "I did some research about this place before we came. I like to know what I'm up against."

Tom smiled. She was good.

"Anyway sir we are in deep trouble. This place is in the middle of a serious civil war. We're in army greens. Shoot first ask questions later. Also where we are headed is in serious poverty as in ransom!"

He nodded seriously. "I know you'll protect me Trev."

She rolled her eyes. "Not likely I've been ordered to let you drown remember!"

"Hey I'm being serious. You already proved you'd die for me!" He said cockily.

"I wouldn't go that far." Amie muttered.

"Admit it. You would lay down your life for me!" he joked.

"If the smart comments don't cease you'll drown alright. It'll be my hand holding you under water."

He held up his hands in a retreat gesture. "Comment logged and understood."

She smiled. "You'll be sleeping with the fishes." she said in an Italian voice.

"Seriously Amie. Thanks. I'll make sure everyone knows what you did."

She shook her head. "It was nothing. Really."

He shrugged and a moment passed. "I'm gonna have to sew you up if this blood doesn't stop soon."

Amie's eyes widened. "What!"

Tom burst out laughing. You should see your face! It's the first time I've ever seen you scared. You weren't even scared when the plane went down!"

"Knowing you, you'd do something daft like sew my legs together! I'd be hoping around on my two feet." she said seriously.

"Now that is a good idea Trev and funny to watch too!"

"I hate that name!" she moaned.

"I know!" he laughed evilly.

The bleeding slowed and he bandaged her up. "Now your brilliant handsome genius doctor is telling you to make sure you keep this clean and dry!"

She looked around. "Where's this doctor?"

"HEY!" he replied grinning.

"You know Tom. Dry might be a problem." she gestured around. An idea came to her. She reached just behind her ear and tapped the distress signal 3 times.

"I already sent one. These things are ingenious aren't they. Remote tracking devices and transmitters."

"So what do we do?" she asked. Winced as she moved her leg.

He shrugged, "We wait." he told her simply.

(X)

They floated aimlessly. Talked about daft stuff. They knew that whatever was coming was going to be hard. So they got to know each other. Found they had a lot in common. They ate some freeze dried emergency rations. Night fell soon and the sea turned violent and rough.

"There goes my dry bandage!" Amie declared as a wave flowed over them and soaked them.

"Hold on tight Amie!" somewhere between the day and night he had stopped calling her Trev.

"What do you think I'm doing?" she called. She had to yell to be heard over the waves.

Another cold wave crashed over them. She shook her head to get the water from her eyes.

"Last time I agree to a drop!" Amie grumbled.

"Me too!" Tom agreed. "If you hear about me agreeing to another one shoot me!" he told her.

Just went they thought everything was quieting down they heard a rumble and looked behind them. A huge wave about the size of a house was approaching. They looked at each other for a second. The wave hit and the raft capsized. Tom reached out and grabbed Amie's arm he held tightly. They were being thrown about by the waves. He knew Amie wasn't conscious.

Amie's arm was ripped from his hand and he saw her float away. He tried to swim after her but the darkness was overcoming him. As he felt the air leaving his body he was grateful for the warm cocoon that was enveloping him.

(X)

Amie awoke. Something coarse was scratching her cheek. She was being prodded. Hard.

"5 more minutes Missy!" she grumbled. Batted at her prodder.

She felt a heavy object hit her head. "Argh!" she groaned. Grabbed her head and rolled over. Opened her eyes. She was lain on a sandy back. 10 men dressed in black army suits surrounded her. Each one had a rifle aimed straight at her head.

She gulped.

**A/N this is SO not good. keep readin to find out IF she gets outta this one x**


	23. Washed Up

Amie stared at the men above her. They were speaking to each other in a foreign language. Obviously wondering what to do with her.

Think Amie think! You need to get outta this! She panicked. And calm down too! Hysterics help now one! They spat something at her.

"English." she said pointing to herself.

One of the men alarmed at her movement stamped on her chest. Hard. She groaned and the air whooshed from her lungs he barked one word at her. She assumed it was still. Didn't have to tell her twice!

The leader frowned at her clutching her chest. "Isaiah!" he spat and pointed. "English."

Isaiah nodded. The leader spoke in his own language.

"You rebel?" Isaiah asked.

Amie shook her head.

"Talk!" Isaiah demanded.

"I on boat." she said. Isaiah frowned. She made a boat motion with her hand. The man who stamped went to do so again. She spun quickly and took his leg put from under him. He hit the floor and the others laughed. He stood up and pressed his gun against her head. She glared at him cockily.

The leader shouted something at her he hit her with the butt of his gun and backed off.

"You wait!" Amie warned.

"Well!" Isaiah demanded.

"Me fell into water." she lied. Buying herself some time.

"Clothes?" he said tugging at his top.

"Um….I cleaned the boat. Work!" she made a scrubbing motion then glared at the man who hit her.

The leader spat something.

"He say spy." Isaiah said coldly.

"NO!"

"Shoot you!" they all raised their guns.

"Ransom!" she blurted. "Money." she rubbed her fingers together.

Isaiah spoke to the leader. He smiled. Motioned to two men who pulled her to her feet.

"Rashid decide!" Isaiah said and walked away.

Amie's hands were bound behind her back. Another tied around her neck she was pulled along roughly. She memorised the route they were taking in case she needed to get away. The person who she hit was the one with the rope. She noticed a pattern anytime he stumbled he yanked her roughly so she'd fall. Once she'd seen a patch of grass she knew he'd slip on and the moment he slipped she yanked her neck back and he fell. She wasn't gonna do that again in a hurry! She got pistol whipped! At the minute she had herself walking so she had optimum balance. He wasn't having the satisfaction of seeing her fall! her injured leg was burning but she pushed the pain to the back of her mind. She thought about Tom. Hoped he was ok. He didn't deserve to die. He was good at his job and deserved a long and happy life with a family and kids. She wasn't paying attention and was yanked roughly and fell on her face. The men laughed. Instead of reacting she silently swore revenge on them all. She picked herself up and focused all the way home. Her clothes were soaked with dew.

A man barked something and Amie looked up. She was stood at the base of what looked like a fortress. She was only just beginning to grasp of the enormity of the situation she was in. She was a prisoner of war! Jesus Christ how was she gonna get out of this one? They reached gates and both men spoke in their native tongue. The guard nodded and handed over a bag which jangled when he took out. Had she just been paid for? Oh God she was in trouble.

The guard barked something at her. She stood her ground glaring at him. He pulled the rope around her neck and again she fell. Instead of giving her time to get up though he simply pulled her across the muddy ground. She felt every rock embedded in the mud.

Ok Ames not your best idea. Think! Your first instinct is always to rebel but be smart or they'll kill you!

Amie nodded. Her neck hurt as he pulled. The man stopped pulling her as they reached the entrance to Mount hell as she decided to call it. She picked herself up as the man unlocked 3 locks on a door and the door swung open.

The guard pointed and she walked in meekly. He laughed and she resisted the urge to head butt him. He'll get his! She swore.

Her heart was pounding as she was led down corridors. Her mouth was dry. All the walls were bare. They were rocks. She was frowning as she considered her fate. This was like a castle from the 1800's. Supposed they had weapons from then too. Oh Christ! No Amie neutral. Never show fear, these people feed off fear. She made her face as neutral as possible.

'_That's it Ames!' _a voice murmured.

What or shall I say who the hell is that? Amie wondered. Her mind was quickly taken off that though when some double doors opened as if on their own and she was greeted by a beast of a man. Over 6 foot and built like a tank.

She was so dead! Say bye bye Amie!

Rashid barked something at him to him. The guard nodded and bowed stiffly. Then stood in the corner.

"You are English?" Rashid asked, voice heavily tinged with an accent but he was confident with his English.

"Yes." she told him.

"Why come here?"

"I worked on a boat and fell over board. Washed up here."

The guard strode forward and slapped her. She fell to her knees. The bounds that held her wrists pulled.

"I will not be disrespected by a lowly woman lying to me!" he hissed.

Her training told her to stay quiet. The rebel inside her wanted to tell him to go to hell.

"Now woman!" Rashid barked.

"Slip. Overboard. Washed up!" she repeated. She was dragged roughly to her feet and he hit her so hard she chipped one of her teeth. She released a pain filled gasp involuntarily. He smiled at his victory.

"You sure you want to carry on this way woman?" Rashid hissed.

Amie had an idea. It went against everything inside her to show weakness but….she dropped her head and blinked. Then looked up with glistening eyes.

"This is a mistake!" she said in her best pleading voice. She blinked the tears fell down her face. "I was on a boat and fell overboard!"

"Stop lying to me!" Rashid spat angrily. Fist clenched. He nodded at the guard who pushed his hand in her pockets. Came up empty handed. Thankfully she had left her ID on the plane. If she did carry it she always had planned to dump it in event of capture. She was thankfully clean.

"Look please. Contact England and maybe they will give ransom for me!" she pleaded.

"I have no need for ransom!"

This was the only card she had to negotiate with. She exhaled it was no use. He'd kill her!

"On your knees!"

She was again on the floor. The guard had pushed her roughly. Rashid pulled a tiny gun from his pocket.

Amie shook her head. They were gonna execute her. Well her life had been short sweet and full of fun! She supposed. If she was going down though…..

She dived from her knees and hit Rashid in the stomach. She landed on him and went to head butt him but was dragged off him by the guard.

"How dare you!" he boomed and hit her head with the gun.

"Go to hell!" she screamed and dodged when he went to hit her again. Her feet hit out and hit him in the stomach again. The guard pinned her roughly to the floor Rashid stomped on her head hard. She saw stars. Lay still. At least she got in a few hits!

"You will regret that!" Rashid hissed. Pointed the gun at her. The guard had her pinned on her stomach his arm around the back of her neck. She glared at Rashid belligerently. She needed to think of some kick ass last words like….um she had nothing! Damn for the first time in her life she had nothing to say.

"If you wish to beg I shall listen. It pleases me!"

"Beg?" she exclaimed. "I beg for no one!" she spat.

The guard looked at her and frowned at the look on her face. He had noticed the way she fought. The way she held herself. Arrogantly. Cockily. She had training! He realised. And the way she was dressed. Not a work uniform but possibly….

The guard spoke to Rashid in their language. Rashid dropped the gun and motioned for the guard to pick her up.

Amie frowned.

Rashid looked her up and down and nodded.

"I see it!" he murmured. "Tell me girl why are you here?"

"I washed up on the shore."

"A plane flew over yesterday. One of mine shot it down. YOU were flying that plane!" he boomed.

DAMMIT! He knew! "Me? I couldn't fly a plane if my life depended on it!"

"Look at how you are dressed. Army fatigues…."

"Work uniform!" she interrupted.

He roared with rage. "No woman dares interrupt me!" he hit her and she stumbled through the glass patio doors.

"Christ!" she gasped on a breath, rolled an pushed herself up to standing. Her hands still tied so it was hard.

"I wanna play a little game with you girl." Rashid grinned. "Members of enemies armies are so much fun to play with!"

"I don't play games." she retorted.

"You will run." he said evilly "And I will catch you. I do love cat and mouse games!" he said joyfully.

"Well I don't! You'll get no satisfaction from me!" she told him stubbornly.

"You WILL play my games!"

"Wanna bet?"

Rashid frowned. Didn't understand her choice of words. Decided she was insulting him. Dragged her by the collar in the direction of the coffee table. He flung her she felt her head connect and the wood splinter around her. She lay unmoving. Then mentally shook herself. No fear, no weakness Ames! she rolled. Her body protested but acquiesced. She was on her knees leaning against the sofa for leverage. Got up to her feet once again. She knew she couldn't take much more of this.

Rashid looked at her. Something akin to respect in his eyes. Yet she knew he didn't respect her. "You are up again. I wonder what I have to do to keep you down?" he pondered.

"I'll always get up. No one keeps me down!" She said defiantly.

He paced back and forth slowly. Deep in thought. Looked at her intermittedly.

"You are obviously in the army." he stopped and looked at her. "If you had been a man you would have been an asset to mine…..but no. I sense too you would not be turned." he mused. "The only other use I have you is secrets."

Secrets? Oh NO!

"I ask again!" Rashid said powerfully. "Why are you here?"

She stayed silent and glared at him. Stiffened her back.

"England is planning on coming over aren't they? To attack and help the rebels!" he hissed.

She again stayed silent. Lifted her jaw and looked him in the eye. "Answer me girl!"

"Go to hell!" she spat back at him

Rashid hit her a final time, straight on the jaw. She saw stars. Her back hit a wall and she sprawled into a crumpled heap onto the floor.

"Oh has she ran…."

Amie began to pick herself up once again. Her whole body ached. She had to do this! She wobbled but got up and leaned on the wall for support. "I never stay down!" she hissed weakly.

Rashid clapped joyfully. "It has been a while since I have used my play room!"

She blanched and felt her throat go dry. Play room?

"You will be a worthy occupant I hope!"

Worthy? She thought panicked.

"My guards will get you acquainted with the toys then I shall come down and play." he said happily. "Some toys have many uses!"

She stopped the fear from showing in her face. "You'll never break me!"

"We shall see! I will have your secrets. Why you are here. When your army is coming. Once I have then you may die! Maybe after playing with my toys you will be more forthcoming!"he smiled a menacing smile at her. Lowered his head and focused his eyes on her face.

(X)

Two guards grabbed her. She fought and kicked but they pulled her swiftly. She was taken down flight of stairs to what must be the basement. She was pulled passed cells and stopped in her tracks at the sound of grown men screaming in agony. They yanked her so she was walking again. She fought more as she heard people crying in their cells. Bawling like babies. When she got out she as gonna free every one of them!

A door was pushed open. Amie tried to stop it but she was pushed inside. It was locked behind her. Her heart stopping in her chest as she saw the devices in there. She started breathing heavily. She was scared. O boy was she scared! She was dragged to a wall and her wrists were chained. She pulled at them. When she realised that was a waste of time she surveyed the area around her. Wished she hadn't.

There was an assortment of bats and whips. Some of the bats had razors and glass embedded in them. There was a rod attached to the mains electric. An old fashioned rack and a whole bunch of other stuff that she couldn't explain but looked like it would inflict much pain! Oh this wasn't happening to her! It wasn't!

Rashid walked in. wearing blood red robes. Peeled it off. His body was muscular. He sat across the room on a seat that looked like a throne.

"You may start." he told his guard.

"With?" the guard asked din his native tongue.

"You chose."

The guard looked down at his fists. Then the bat with the embedded razors.

"Do it and I'll kill you!" Amie warned. "I swear to god I'll kill you!"

Rashid told the guard what she said and they both laughed heartily. He then swung his right fist and swung the bat in his left.

**A/N ok people can I just tell you that I always seem to forget that this is Alice writing so can u do me a favour and sorta forget that Alice is writing coz this gets a little mean in the next chapter x**


	24. Torture

**A/N rather nasty at the beginning. first couple of paragraphs - lil warning x**

Amie was propelled into her cell. She fell to the floor unable to stand. The cold hard floor was welcome. The cold helped take the edge off the pain she felt in every atom of her body. God she wanted to die! They had used every device in that room on her - twice. At first they had played nice. Tell us what we want to know and we'll stop. They had warned her it was going to get much worse. And it had! On the second day she lost count of the amount of times they used things. She had eventually passed out from the pain. When she woke up day 3 of torture began. She blanked it. She felt tears gather and forced them away. She refused to cry. Refused to shed one tear over these bastards! One escaped and mingled with the blood smeared over her face. She had cuts all over her body. Thanks to the glass and razor blades. They had then poured sodium chloride over them - salt. Christ it had burned and they had laughed as they rubbed it in. Then after that they had used a blow torch on her arms and back. Singed all her black hair. Screamed at her to tell them what she knew. That was hard considering she knew nothing! She refused to back down though. She had of course screamed and cried but she held her tongue and hadn't even gave them her name. If she was gonna die they sure weren't having the pleasure of speaking her name!

She rested her head against the cold floor. Then her cheek. Tried to dispel the throbbing in her gums. Yup! They had pliers and she had 3 less teeth. A sob was torn from her and more tears fell. Didn't look at her hand. Hid it behind her back. They had pulled the fingernails off her hand. She had been awake. It had nearly broke her….if she had secrets she probably would have told them at that moment coz the pain….it had been indescribable. She pushed the tears back again. Stroked the anger that was beginning to burn inside her. Amie stop lying there and feeling sorry for yourself. You pick yourself up and make those bastards pay! She turned her sadness into anger. Tears helped no one. It felt good as it ran through her veins. For each electric shock they have her they were gonna pay. For every time they whipped her back. For every pain filled second she endured!

She knew what they were doing. Since they figured she was either too strong to talk or she actually didn't know anything Rashid had told the guards to have their fun and dispose of her. She knew exactly what he meant by their fun and se refused! She freaking refused! She was getting out of here if it killed her. And if she died then at least she didn't endure that! Better death than being gang raped! She saw her coat over by the door. They must have tossed it in with her. She hadn't noticed. She crawled over clutching her side as she did. Pulled it on. She sat up and held the edges together tightly. Something sharp jabbed her stomach.

"Ow!" she hissed. Went in the pocket. Weird empty! She opened the coat and saw a tiny blade inching through the lining. Blade? She thought. Hope filling her. She pushed her hand in the pocket again and felt a hole. No they wouldn't be that stupid would they? She ripped the hole so it was larger and pulled out a small knife. This was the knife she kept in her boot. To cut the rope in the water that had attached her to Tom! She had something to protect herself with at least! She wrapped her arms around herself and felt herself doze for a little bit she knew the men wouldn't be back for a while. She stayed on guard but closed her eyes. Was bombarded by images. Her eyes refused to open. Rashid and his men tortured her and she couldn't escape. She tried to run but he clicked and she flew backwards through the air to him. Every time she ran she thought she was gonna get away and then he would have her once again.

"I will break you AMIE!"

How did he get her name? The pliers came close to her face and her mouth opened of it's own accord. She felt a scream being ripped from her throat. Her eyes popped open and she was breathing heavily. Wiped the cold sweat off her face. She had jumped as the pliers were placed in her mouth. Put her hand to her cheek. They were very hot. Her cell was dark. Night had fallen. She pulled herself up to standing and forced herself to walk through the screaming pain ion her ribs and back. She heard a man screaming. Blanked it. Her screams had no doubt been heard by these men. She felt his pain but she had to stay focused.

'Don't worry I'll get you out! Stay strong!' she told the man mentally.

She hadn't forgot her vow. Somehow she was getting the men outta here. And she was gonna kill Rashid. And the other guard who took great delight in torturing her. One of the things which had kept her sane during her torture was the thought of what she was gonna do to them in return. Involving sharp objects and their testicles! She took her coat off and bunched it up in the corner of her room. Like a body lain down. It wasn't much but it was all she had! Then she knelt by the door in wait.

(X)

She had been knelt for what felt like days by the time a guard came to collect her. For the final act of disgrace! No way! She heard whistling and she shifted on the balls of her feet. You only got one chance Ames! Make it count! A door opened and closed with a clang she heard keys jangling. Guards liked to do that. To tease their prisoners. Make them wondered who the next one who was going to be tortured.

"Hey girlie girl!"

Rashid had taught him those words. He looked through a peep hole. Amie held her breath. If he didn't fall for it then she was screwed!

"No sleeping girl!" he hissed. When her body didn't move her put the key in the lock.

Anticipation thrummed through Amie. Everything slowed down. The key turned. The lock clicked loudly in the empty room. It seemed to echo for hours instead of seconds. The hinges of the door squealed as it opened. His footsteps loud and uncompromising as he stomped into the room. She lifted the knife and aimed it for his leg. It moved slowly through the air. She willed it to hit him. To slice open his skin. Hurry up! The knife finally drove into his leg and she yanked it down ripping it open. The guard screamed. She moved as fast as she could and swept her leg to take his good leg from under him. Her knife dripped with blood. She was soon above him. Her eyes glittered black with intense hatred.

"I told you I'd kill you!" she gloated. Then cut his throat cleanly.

It was then she realised that she had actually killed someone.

"Oh god!" she whispered. Dropped the knife. Her body was shaking. She dived over to the corner of the room and retched violently. Put her hand over her eyes.

Amie it was necessary. Them or you, repeat that! Don't hesitate coz you know they won't! she told herself sternly. She went over to his body. He lay prone and blood leaked from his wound slowly. She ignored the pool that lay beside his head. Checked his pockets. Took his keys, gun and some chewing gum. She dragged his body and lay it curled up on it's side in the corner of the room. Face hidden. She then popped a few sticks of chewing gum in her mouth and chewed vigorously. The sugar exploded in her mouth and began to flow through her veins. Any extra strength it gave her was greatly appreciated. She popped her head out of her cell for a second and surveyed the area. Clear. She then left stealthily and began to task of releasing all the prisoners.

(X)

Amie walked down the corridor quickly. Popped the key in the lock turned. Opened the door a crack and moved on. She didn't say a word. They wouldn't have understood her anyway! As she got to the last her sixth sense told kicked in.

'Watch out. Behind you!'

Amie turned and ducked as she did so. She was looking at a thin man. His clothes hung off him. He was seriously malnourished but ready to fight.

"English. Friend. Run!" she told him.

He frowned.

"Army!" she stressed and pulled at her fatigues.

He nodded. She pointed. "Go quickly!" she made a running motion.

He nodded. "Danka."

"Your welcome." Amie murmured.

He called to his comrades and they disappeared. She opened the final door. Something made her look. A figure lay inside limply. His head was rested on his arms.

"Tom?" she asked. She assumed he had been swept away by the waves. "Thomas?"

He looked like he was in a bad way

She went inside and grabbed him. He hit out at her.

"I'm your friend Tom. It's Trev remember. Told you I'd protect you! How could you doubt me?" she murmured.

He grumbled incoherently. She stood up his arm around her shoulder. Her arm was tight around his waist. She was running on pure adrenaline. By rights after the stuff she had endured she should be in a seriously bad way. If not dead. Her guardian angel must be taking care of her. She heaved Tom down the corridor. It was slow pain staking work. She grunted and groaned with exertion. A guard appeared. She didn't wait a second. She grabbed her knife from her belt and threw it. It spun in the air and hit the guard in the heart. Killed instantly. She resisted the urge to be ill this time. She would allow herself to crack up when they were outta here! Before wasn't an option!

As she passed the dead guard she knelt down. Wiped the blood off the knife on her trousers then carried on. Don't think about what your doing Ames. Don't think about the people you are k…..just react. You always work better when following your instincts! She felt Tom growing heavier. The weight on her shoulders intensified.

"Christ Tom who ate all the pies huh?" she moaned.

She finally reached the door which she hoped were the exit. It led to a dead end. There were 2 door in the play room. One led to the main part of the house. She dragged him that way. Felt her stomach pool with acid at the thought of going in there. Her heart pounded and her hands shook.

Stop being soft! Daniel did worse to you growing up! She tried to kid herself. It didn't work but she made herself believe it! The door swung open and Tom chose that moment to life his head….and saw the torture devices.

"No." he said weakly. "NO!" he then demanded. Life in his body once again.

He was fighting her wildly. His eyes barely open.

"Tom I'm your friend!" she pleaded.

She was weak herself and although she had her sense it only helped her if she could move fast enough.

"Tom please. It's Trev we're getting out!" she grunted as he connected with her already battered ribs.

The door opened and Rashid walked in. "I should have known!"

Amie dived over Tom and rolled. Threw her knife at Rashid. He moved quickly.

"Do my two little playmates want more fun?" he asked happily. Saw she was weak. He walked towards her lazily. The swung his fist at a crazy pace. She ducked, dodge and feinted. Rashid followed her and kept up the intense flurry of punches. She was growing weaker. He knew it as did she. He quickened the pace. She couldn't keep going anymore. Fell to the floor panting. She had been taught to chose her battles and she had fell right into his hands with that one! He stood over her. Like a lord over his servant.

"I so shall enjoy our final time together. After letting you watch me torturing your friend I shall have my fun with you. Then dispose of you. I must say it has been fun!" he picked her up by the hair. "Is it that time for torture again so soon?" he said joyfully.

**A/N nothing much i cn say really. poor ames. how is she gonna get outta this one. poor thing she has been through so much and it doesn't end there :(**


	25. Help From Outside

Amie began reaching out blindly. In his hurry to chain her up he had brought her right next to some of his instruments. She grabbed the first thing that came to her hand. The noticed what it was! Lets see how he likes this! She thought evilly. Pressed the electric rod to his leg. He released her hair and screamed in shock. She moved and then pressed it to his chest hard. Felt pleasure run through her as she seen his face contort. Electricity ran through his body. Felt joy inside at his pain filled screams. She dropped the rod in shook as she recognised the feeling coursing through her. A small part inside was telling her to chain him up, and pull his teeth out. And hit him, beat him savagly. Have him begging for mercy. Begging to be killed to be released from the pain.

THIS WASN'T HER!

Rashid saw her distraction and lunged for the electric rod. She couldn't waste a second. She grabbed her gun. Turned wildly and fired at the sound. Rashid fell to the floor unmoving. Blood was visible below his shoulder. Her hands shook. Her whole body followed suit. She couldn't take it anymore! How many people was she gonna have to kil…

'_Amie!" _a voice told her sternly. _'Get out of here!'_

The voice snapped her out of it. "Tom?" she asked. Saw him lying out of it on the floor. No it hadn't been Tom. It was woman's voice anyway. An unfamiliar voice. Although it felt like it should be familiar. Anyway this figment of her imagination she was grateful for. It was helping keep her sane.

She collected her knife. Put her gun away and picked Tom up from the floor. Walked through the various doors in the fortress. She was looking for an exit. Every room she walked into just offered her more stairs or doors. They had windows but at the moment they were actually underground. She climbed more and more stairs and walked into a room weakly. If they didn't find an exit soon then they were screwed! She pulled him tiredly into a room and saw it had multicoloured windows. She hurried over. Rested Tom of the floor and broke it. Looked out. Right they had a little way to fall but they would be fine.

"Sorry Tom!" she whispered as she pushed him through the window. She then jumped through herself. Making sure she aimed in the opposite direction to where Tom lay.

(X)

They walked trough the jungle. It was raining and the ground was slick with mud and moss. She knew where to go. She hadn't lied to Tom. She knew where to head to get off this God forsaken island. She had done her homework extensively. There is an airport not far from the fortress where supplies are brought in and out of the island. It was also an escape route for Rashid. She just hoped there was a plane there she could hijack! She didn't want to have to wait for one. She was scared if she stopped moving she may not get started again. BUT first she had a major problem. She had to find a way to get down the hill.

"Tom mate!" she jostled him as she asked. "Please you gotta wake up!" she pleaded.

No reply. she wondered if the guards had did the same to him as they did to her…..possibly worse. BASTARDS!

She finally gave up trying to wake him up after nearly 50 tries not that she counted. She pulled and heaved. C'mon! she had to find the way to the plane soon. She couldn't keep going forever! She was running on sheer willpower. Her stubborn nature the only thing from keeping her collapsing altogether. She refused to let them beat her! That thought spurred her on a little. Found a little bit more strength.

'_That's it Amie. My stubborn Amie. You can do anything!'_

Whoever that voice was in her head encouraging her she was grateful for it. Encouragement always made her work harder. Made her even more determined not to give up. If she gave up now she was letting someone…or something down. She could….. Heard a noise behind her and looked back. The ground suddenly disappeared beneath her feet. Unbeknownst to her she had just walked her and Tom off a muddy ledge. She slid down a steep cliff face.

She hit the cliff with a thump and felt herself sliding down quickly. She rolled and made her self as small as possible and sped past Tom then rolled so she was protecting him as much as possible. She parted the bushes. She was scratched to hell. He was too but to a lesser extent. The slick mud made her gather even more speed. Saw the hard unforgiving ground rushing towards her. Said a silent prayer. Thought quickly of the things she wished she hadn't said or done. Involving her dad and Lexi. Especially her dad. This was gonna kill him….after it killed her! She thought morosely. She was gonna hit the ground in moments. Could almost feel the impact jarring her already battered body. This was gonna hurt at the speed she was going. You chose this Amie. You wanted excitement and adventure. But you didn't think about getting caught and hurt did…..she hit the ground with a thud.

(X)

Amie hit the ground with a bone jarring thump. Tom followed and landed on her. All the air left her body. She was badly winded. She somehow found the strength to push Tom off her and lay in the mud panting. Trying so hard to catch her breath….She couldn't. Calm deep breaths. Slowly Amie! She told herself. Her training kicking in. she finally slowed her breathing to normal and she couldn't move. She was wiped out. She blinked exhaustion coming to take her.

'_Amie get up!'_

She ignored the voice.

'_Amie your not a quitter!'_

"I can't!" she said weakly. Tears in her eyes and voice.

The voice yelled and coaxed and even resorted to goading her but she just lay there. In more pain then she had ever experienced in her life. She prayed for unconsciousness to take her. Felt a warmth beginning to surround her and smiled. Felt the pain beginning to melt into obscurity.

'_Your mum and dad!'_ the voice yelled.

Her eyes opened and the burning pain returned. "I was almost there! Leave me alone!" Amie yelled angrily.

'_I refuse to let you die in a godforsaken jungle Amie!'_

"It has nothing to do with you. Your just some voice in my head!" she fumed out loud.

'_What would Missy think of you? Letting yourself be beaten in this way by these people? She has been through so much and she has never let it hold her down. She still goes for the throat! I expected more from you and so does she! Giving up straight away? She would be pissed at you!'_

Amie exhaled. This voice was right! Missy wouldn't just lie here and give up. If she wanted to be Missy's daughter than she had to prove she was like her in every way!

'_That's the spirit! You can do it!'_

She pulled herself onto her knees and cried out in pain. Tears fell but she forced them away angrily. No tears. Tears are weak and your tough! I won't allow you to cry! She told herself. She wouldn't allow herself any weaknesses. She reached up and grasped a tree branch. Used it to pull herself to standing. She leaned against it letting the sickness and vertigo pass.

"I'm insane. Listening and talking to a voice in my head!" she muttered.

'_I'm here to help!' _the voice promised.

"Who are you?" Amie asked.

'_I've watched over you a long time Amie.'_

Was she her mother? No! that sorta stuff doesn't happen. Her mother was dead and had been for years. She couldn't even remember her voice so how could she hear it? This was some pain filled delusion on her side. WHEN she got home she was gonna ask Ethan about side effects of severe trauma.

She bent over and somehow pulled Toms arm over her shoulder.

"It's a good thing I like you mate. And that I'm loyal! And I refuse to leave a man behind or you sir would be screwed!"

She dragged herself through this jungle. Having no idea if she was going in the right direction.

'_Don't worry you are!'_ the voice assured. _'Your doing so well. Missy will be proud of you!'_

Amie focused. One foot in front of the other. One then the other. All her concentration was focused. An explosion ripped through the air.

"Y_ou gotta move faster Amie!'_

Amie couldn't move any faster. "I'm doing my best here! After what I've been through I'm lucky to be alive! SO DON'T PUSH ME!" Amie emotions were on a hair trigger. It was anger or hysterical sadness. She chose anger.

'_The rebels are attacking the fortress. Rashid is heading for the plane!'_

"But I shot him!" Damn why was everything going wrong! She somehow managed to speed up. It was funny how your body could do things if the need arose. She kept up the brisk pace for 10 minutes. It felt like 10 days. Every step felt like a mile. The sweat poured off her. She was sure she was gonna collapse when she saw a break in the trees. Saw a Cessna plane. YES! She could fly that!

"C'mon Tom. I'm taking you home!" she heaved him across the tarmac and up the stairs that were already open on the plane. She pulled the door open. Pellets began to shower over her. It was Rashid! She pushed Tom inside and used the door for cover.

Bullets ricocheted off the door with a ping. She checked her gun. She only had 4 rounds. She peeked her head out for a second to scan the area. She saw how many enemies she had shut the door. Dragged Tom to safety behind some seats. Went to a window to play shoot the terrorist! As two approached she inched the barrel out of the window and shot them both dead. She missed Rashid running up the stairs.

The door flew open she pointed her gun but he pushed it out of the way quickly and dived on her. He had been shot what the hell was he doing up?

'_Ribs'_ her voice warned.

She protected herself.

'_Jaw.'_

She swung her head out of the way just in time.

She kneed him in the stomach and was rewarded when he grunted. She rolled so she was above him. Head butted his face.

'_Hair!'_

Amie didn't move in time and he grabbed her head. Pulled it towards him and hit it roughly on the floor beside him. Then used his knee to propel her over his head. Amie lay dazed.

'…_..fe…..use the….kn…..' _Amie blacked out and only caught snatches.

"_C'mon baby girl. You've came so far. Don't give up now!'_

Amie missed that one completely.

Rashid put his hands around her beck and squeezed. Amie didn't have the strength to fight him off. The back of her throat began to tingle and she had the weirdest feeling of de ja vu. It seemed she was gonna be beaten. She couldn't believe it!

**A/N is this the end of amie? is her pain finally over or will it continue some more? keep reading x**


	26. More Pain and Tears?

It seemed that Amie was beaten. He had his hands around her throat. They glinted with madness. His smile was wide and happy as he forced the air out of her body. She was going to die. She couldn't believe it! NO! it wasn't over til the fat lady sings! She thought defiantly. She grasped around her wildly to hit him with. Felt something at her belt. She unsheathed it and plunged up with all her might. Rashid bound off her and screamed as he saw the handle of her knife sticking out of his chest. She dragged big gulps of air into her lungs.

He collapsed and lay unmoving on top of her. She pushed him off her. She was covered in his wet sticky blood.

"Oh God!" she breathed. How much more could one person go through? She had to get moving. That meant picking herself up off the floor and getting rid of him.

So once again she forced herself off the floor and grabbed the body of a man. Dragged him to the door. Opened it a crack and threw it out. Bullets again ricocheted.

She then ran into the cockpit and started the engines. Pulled toggles and pressed buttons. She needed the plane to get off the ground quickly. What she was doing was dangerous but the opposite didn't really bear thinking about!

The engines fired up and the dial began to move slowly. She pleaded with them to go quicker.

"C'mon! C'mon!" they had to get to 80. It had reached 72 when she saw the rebels emerge from the jungle shooting guns. They executed Rashid's guards. Taking no prisoners.

"Close enough!" she yelped and pushed the steering wheel forward forcefully. The wheels screamed but began to move. She began to pull gradually. Trying to get the plane off the floor. It was refusing.

"C'mon Cessy don't do this to me yeah?"

She pulled hard and the nose lifted from the ground. She was airborne.

"YES! C'mon!" she said elated. Tears began to fill her eyes once again. Tears of sheer relief. She swiped them away and settled the plane in the air. Checked the fuel gauge. When she was sure everything was fine she slumped back in her seat. She was gonna head to England. She and Tom needed medical attention and to be briefed. She had no idea where she was exactly so had no idea where to go exactly.

'_Go here.'_ a funny sounding voice told her some co-ordinates. She assumed it was the voice which help her. She trusted the voice. It had helped her a lot. She had more than enough fuel to get to the other end of the earth. A Cessna didn't burn much fuel and this plane looked fairly light so no weight. She exhaled. She still had stuff to do. Locked the controls. And went to retrieve Tom. She pulled him to the seat beside her and sat him in it softly. Grabbed the first aid kit looked inside…..God it was rudimentary at best. They had a no food but there was bottled water on board. She grabbed a couple. She drank thirstily grateful for it's coolness then knelt in front of Tom. Opened the other bottle of water and doused some cotton wool.

"I did it Tom." she whispered. Dabbed at the wounds on his face. He lay head slumped forward. "I can't believe I did it! It's almost surreal. I keep expecting to wake up at any time." she checked his pulse. Weaker than she liked but there.

'_It's that stubbornness that saved you Amie.' _her voice told her.

"And you." Amie replied tiredly. "I can't thank you enough you know, I would never have made it without you."

The voice kept quiet. It knew something else. This wasn't over yet!

(X)

Amie was sat in the pilots seat. She had tried to get in touch with the army and then airlines to warn them that they were approaching. She just kept getting static. Now either she was heading in the wrong direction or the aerial had been damaged by the rebels shooting at them. She was leaning towards the latter. She had cleaned Tom up as best she could. Looked at him. His pale face. She only had the most basic of first aid and he was in a bad way. She wasn't feeling the best either, when she got off the plane she was going to a hotel and ordering a king size bed and a steak with everything! Unlikely she would be in hospital probably then being debriefed.

The plane glided through the air quietly. How long was this gonna take? The plane had to stay up. She knew they had more than enough fuel but there were other things to take into consideration. Like damage by bullets and her of course. What happens if she passed out? Luck hadn't exactly been on her side at the moment.

'_Well your luck is due a change then!'_

"I'm not holding my breath!" Amie replied. She had to stop answering out loud. People were gonna think she was a nutter! She was grateful the voice was still here though. Guiding her. Encouraging her. She wracked her brains trying to fit the voice to a face, deep down it felt familiar. She sorta sounded like Missy…but not. It was weird.

She yawned largely and her chest turned into one mass of pain. She panted through the pain. Anytime she inhaled she felt like her chest was caving in. she clutched it and tried to ride the crest of the wave of pain. She had to stay awake and get this plane down safely! Then her body could sleep for as long as it wanted. The pain in her chest began to subside but her side still burned with an unyielding intensity. She had no idea how long she was gonna be able to keep going. She had been awake for she didn't know how many days straight. Tortured. Feel down a rock face. She was pretty sure the gash on her leg was infected not to mention the other cuts she had sustained. Her ribs she believed were cracked if not broken and her right hand. She ignored it. It didn't look pretty. Her fingers looked all red, and infected. Her teeth too. She got the bastards who did that to her though!

She saw green below her and trees. Lots of trees. Nearly there! She felt excitement run through her as she saw houses dotted around. Houses meant people. People meant doctors and hospitals!

"Don't worry Tom! We'll get there soon!" she promised. She was worried about how pale he was when her side began to burn hotter. She couldn't ignore it anymore. She pressed her hand to the spot and felt something prickly beneath her fingers. She frowned and screamed as she pulled out a long sharp twig with small prickles. She bent double automatically her head hit the controls and made the plane go into a nose dive sharply. She sat up straight immediately and pulled it back up. She struggled and it hit a few trees but it began to climb slowly once again. She locked the controls and clutched her side once again. She pulled her hand away when it was quickly soaked, covered in crimson red blood and yellow. She rested her hand on her forehead and noticed it was hot and clammy. Oh God fever!

'_Amie baby ignore it yeah!'_

"You're a product of my fever huh?" she murmured.

She had to get rid of the poison. If it went into her bloodstream she was in trouble. She again grabbed the first aid kit and took out the bottle of antiseptic. Spoke to it.

"Now you don't like me and I don't like you but if this stings I swear you'll take a first class trip outta that window! You have been warned."

She smiled and shook the bottle in response. Turned pensive. "Right and Amie!" she told herself. "If you cry I'll….." she was gonna say hurt you but after what she'd been through she decided against it. "You shed one tear and you will not be getting the Raspberry cheesecake you know your dreaming about! Suck it up Ames!"

She took one look at the wound wiped away all the blood and pus she could. Took a deep breath and poured a liberal amount of antiseptic straight on the wound. Gasped as it burned with an unyielding intensity. Punched the wall in pain and panted…..but no tears. She really wanted that cheesecake! She then bandaged the wound. Felt dizziness over take her.

"You can pass out later Amie" For now do your job! You insisted to everyone that you were tough enough to handle this now prove it! AND NO TEARS! You shed one tear over those bastards and they win!" she told herself sternly. These little pep talks where half the time she provoked herself really worked. She wiped her brow and nodded to herself in reply.

(X)

Amie was drifting. Struggling to stay awake. She was too hot. Burning. Her eyes were heavy, so heavy. impossible to keep open. All she needed was 5 minutes. Just 5 minutes to rest her eyes. The plane lurched violently. Dipped. Lurched again.

Amie looked around tiredly. Checked her dials. The engine spluttered.

Amie noticed the fuel dial and realised it hadn't moved. Hit it and the arrow moved - to empty. "No!" she cried weakly. She couldn't deal with another crash landing! This wasn't happening. The engine stalled and then spluttered weakly. She sat back. Right she was beaten. The plane could go down and take her with it. She was past caring!

'_Amie don't think like that!'_

Amie ignored the voice and curled herself into a ball onto her seat.

'_Amie don't let history repeat itself. Your dad survived and so can you!'_

"I'm sick of everything. Leave me be! I give up!" she said weakly.

'_What about your family.'_

"They probably think I'm already dead. Nothing new if I do actually die!"

'_But Amie your only 21 you have your whole life.'_

She sat quietly.

'_Fine then Amie. Be like your mother. Leave your family! Make them cry! Prove to everyone that you are weak and couldn't handle it!' _the voice spat.

She lifted her head. She hit her arm off the chair. "I just wish you'd leave me alone!" she said sitting up. Why did she have to provoke her?

She exhaled. "I'm likely to pass out half way through this but at least I tried huh?"

'_That's it Ames!'_

"Plus I'm only 21 I have so much to do and experience. Like hell is a plane crash taking me out!" she said passionately. "I refuse to die!" she hissed. She was stronger than that! She had survived Rashid and Borneo. She shook her head to dispel the fatigue and began to turn dials. Unlocked the steering and pulled it back. Trying to keep herself in the air as long as possible. She was never flying another plane as long as she lived! This was the second plane that gave out on her. Think they were trying to tell her something?

Trees and houses were below her. If she was 100 percent she might have recognised the area. As it was her attention was elsewhere. Thinking of houses. She had been elated earlier. Not now though. houses meant people. People meant kids. Possibly babies. She thought of Ryan and EJ. Fair enough they weren't babies and they weren't here but if there was the slightest chance that there were kids near! She couldn't let the plane hurt kids. Trees were trees they could be replaced. She refused to kill little kids! Better her than some kids! She pulled as hard as she could. Gravity making it hard. Her arms burned. She tried to turn the plane away from the houses but it wasn't working. It was like they were magnets and noticed was gonna keep them apart! The plane was going much to fast! If she was really lucky she would miss the house. If she was slightly lucky she'd skim the roof. And if not…then she would fly into altogether and probably be killed on impact.

"God let the house be empty please! I will never ask you for another thing if the house is empty!" She wasn't holding her breath about missing the house. Luck hadn't been on her side before and she didn't believe it would change now!

As the plane approached and she tried vainly to slow the plane down and change direction she looked up and realised where she was.

"Oh No! Not here! Why here?" she screamed. "How could you? I trusted you! This could kill them!" she screamed at her voice. Pulled back with all her might but to no avail. She was gonna impact. The belly of the plane tore across her dad's house. She bounced in her seat. She heard the tearing of metal and the crash of rubble hitting the floor. Carried on pulling up.

"I'm so sorry dad!" she cried tears falling down her cheeks.

**A/N ok so now you know it is Amie who crashed into Leopards Den and her voice led her there oooooooo nt good lyk :/ keep reading to see if amie survives the impact x**


	27. Finally The Limit

Amie had thankfully kept the plane in the air long enough so that the main structure of Leopards Den was still standing. But it still wasn't over. She pressed a button to drop the wheels. She hoped they were still operational. She ploughed into trees and they were uprooted and fell to the ground. The ground inched closer and the wheels hit the floor. The plane bounced violently. It seemed to be screaming at her.

"Shut up!" she answered "I need to think and I can't with the noise!"

She saw Lexi's house in the distance and her stomach plummeted. Not her sisters. No way she couldn't! she clenched her teeth. "Right Amie do it!" she whispered. She slammed on the breaks and turned. The plane skidded sideways, too heavy to drift around the house like she hoped all that happened was it began to flip. It felt and sounded like an earthquake was shuddering around the earth. She strained with all her strength. She and Tom, were luckily strapped in. as the plane flipped she felt one wing snap with an almighty crack and rolled across the floor. Or was that her? She had no time to ponder the question as the plane carried on with it's roll. The other wing followed suit and snapped off violently.

"C'mon please stop!"" she pleaded, her arms killing her as she pulled in the opposite direction to the house. The plane rolled for a final time…..impacted something. Took out the entire front wall. Shuddered to a stop.

"NO!" she squealed. The feeling she had at knowing she could have killed her family was far worse than any torture she endured.

A shower of bricks and timber was raining over her. A small explosion shuddered throughout the plane. She looked at her hands. Touched her head. God she was alive? But she had probably killed her family!

"I swear to God I hate you! I wish I'd never listened to you! I should have just let myself die in that jungle." she shouted at the voice she heard.

She unsnapped her belt. The plane screamed and shook.

"And you plane. Go to hell!" she ranted.

"C'mon Tom!" she told him. Began to un-strap his belt. a quake made her fall to the floor. Tom fell on top of her. She was pinned and didn't have the strength to move. Felt herself once again blacking out. Saw her mother in front of her eyes,

"Get up Amie! Right NOW!" Alice yelled.

Her eyes opened and closed tiredly. She had reached all she could take long ago. Now it was the end.

"Amie c'mon baby!" Alice grabbed Tom's arm and pulled him off her. "Move baby please."

"Leave me alone!" Amie hissed weakly. "You brought me here. You made me crash the plane into….." a tear fell. "Into dad's house!"

She lay still and closed her eyes. Alice leaned over and tapped her cheeks trying to wake her up.

"Amie the plane is gonna explode!" Alice pleaded.

Alice disappeared and reappeared carrying water. Poured it over her face. Amie gasped. Coughed and spluttered.

"You awake?" Alice asked.

"Yeah. Your supposed to be dead so why don't you go back to rotting in hell and leave me alone!" Alice winced.

"Amie this plane is gonna explode!" she repeated.

"And I am gonna lie here and let myself die! Just so YOU feel bad. How could you lead me here? Of all places?"

"That wasn't me Amie."

"O so I hear more than one voice then?"

"You must do."

The plane shuddered.

"AMIE!" Alice pleaded. "Think about what your doing to your dad. He feels bad enough with you missing. He needs to make up with you."

Amie exhaled "He has Lexi. You and I both know he loves her far more than he has ever loved me!"

"If your not gonna save yourself then do it for Tom. He doesn't deserve to die coz you are proving a point to me!" Alice pointed out.

Amie glared at her. Knew that Tom didn't deserve to die coz she had issues. Pulled herself up. Tried to lift Tom but a shooting pain in her ribs caused her to fall to her knees. She held them tightly. Alice helped her.

"Your supposed to be non corporeal!" Amie told her.

Alice grinned cockily.

"Why you helping me?" Amie asked as she and he mum dragged Tom to the door.

"Coz you're my little girl and regardless of what you believe I do love you!" Alice supported Tom. "Grab the door."

Amie released Tom and expected for him to fall. Imagine her surprise when Tom was still held up by her mother. "I thought I was hallucinating!" she murmured.

Alice smiled.

"You can leave. I can do this by myself!" Amie said stubbornly.

"It wasn't me who told you to come here Ames. I was looking after Ethan." Alice promised.

Amie frowned. "Fine. But I still hate you for leaving me!"

Amie turned the door handle and hit it with her shoulder till it opened a crack. Then balanced on one leg and kicked it.

"No matter what Amie you will always be my little girl. I don't mind that you love Missy and see her as your mum. Coz I know that she loves you as much as she loves Ryan. Go easy on your dad though. Lexi too!"

"You couldn't stop me anyway!" Amie said stubbornly. Looked at he rmothers amused face. "And I'll sort my dad and Lex if I have to!"

"You remind me so much of Miss it's scary!" Alice laughed.

Amie was silent and thought for a second. "Why did you…."

"I just did Amie. I thought I'd be fine. I was stupid. Now isn't the time anyway." handed Tom over.

"But…." Amie started. Wondered why her mum wasn't coming with her.

"I've helped all I can. The rest is up to you. I know you can do it. You're the strongest smartest Trevanion of them all! Including Miss!"

Amie looked at her mother. "Thank you mum."

"I love you baby. Your dad does too." Amie hugged her tightly and remembered the way her mum used to hug her. "Now get outta here I know you can!"

Amie nodded determinedly. "I'm sorry I... you know…."

Alice nodded and motioned her away.

"And I'll try to make you proud of me." she whispered.

"You already have. Since the day you were born." Alice told her sincerely.

Amie pulled Tom through the door and saw that her sisters bedroom and most of her kitchen was rubble. She smelled the stench of gas. Dammit! Lexi's gas canisters must have been punctured! She stumbled and fell to her knees.

"_Just a little bit more Amie!" _her mother's voice encouraged.

She could do this. She saw she was blocked in. Hobb;led over and threw bricks and wood out of the way quickly. A hole appeared big enough for a person to fit through.

She picked Tom up and pushed him through the hole. He disappeared.

"Huh?" She looked down the hole and saw there was a drop to the floor. She climbed through and placed her feet carefully. Half way down an explosion ripped through the house, the force of it caused her to be thrown through the air. She hit the floor, skidded along and came to a stop unmoving.

**A/N so after all that is this gonna be the end of Amie or will she be fine? OR have i got even more planned for her? Like maybe this hasn't happened at all and she is still in borneo? keep reading to find out x**


	28. Everyone At Full Speed

Danny lay under rubble in his house. He pushed dry wall off himself. He was covered in dust and rubble.

"Miss?" he coughed. Looked up and instead of his white ceiling he saw the bright blue of the African sky.

"On my god!" he whispered. The plane had literally ripped off the roof. At least Ryan was safe out of here! Now he had to find….

"Melissa!" he yelled standing up. She was so gonna slap him for that when she saw him. He looked around and saw timber and bricks litter every inch of the floor. He climbed over it and called for Missy constantly. His voice growing with pitch and panic when she didn't answer. The seconds turned into minutes and still no reply. He started to fear the worst. What if a brick fell on her head. What if a wooden beam impaled her? He felt sick at the thought. He just got her back. He couldn't lose her! He walked into Ryan's room and saw that miraculously it hadn't been touched. The roof remained and not thing was out of place. It was a mess but that was normal for Ry. Then he walked into his and Missy's room. It looked like a tornado had torn though here. Usually this place was neat as a pin. Missy couldn't abide mess. Said it made her feel like her brain was all over. Messy bedroom messy mind! There was dust and debris everywhere. The wardrobe had fell over. Clothes were scattered over the floor. His heart stopped when he saw that a sharp piece of wood had impaled the bed exactly where he and Missy curled up together. He exhaled. He then heard an angry voice. Relief filled every pore of his body.

"Move! Freaking stupid heavy….dammit stop crushing me!" she squeaked.

"MISS!" he declared.

"I'm trapped under this stupid freaking wardrobe. I tried to come when you call and I heard a crash then the wardrobe fell on me!"

Danny began pulling debris off the wardrobe.

"You sir have too many clothes although they do smell nice." she told him. Coughed.

"Me?" he asked picking up the wardrobe. He caught sight of her.

Her jaw dropped. "Danny where in the hell is our roof?" she asked in shock.

"On the floor." he answered.

"Ha ha no really." she said dryly.

He offered his hand and pulled her into his arms. "Thank God your ok." he whispered. "I was so worried that a rock killed you. Or maybe a spike impaled you." he shook his head and caressed her cheek.

"I survived a heart attack danny. A wardrobe wasn't gonna touch me!" she said cockily.

"What about a plane?" he asked seriously. Pressed a kiss to her temple.

"No way! A plane flew into the house?"

He nodded.

He saw her face change and she began to panic. "Ryan?"

"I told him to run to Lexi's. He's fine."

Something made them look out of the window towards Lexi's house. They noticed upended trees and a path of destruction that was aimed directly towards mini Leopards Den. They looked at each other in horror and began to quickly stumble over debris in their haste to get to Lexi's. The whole time wishing that everyone had made it out safe.

(X)

"Get in the truck now!" Lexi yelled over the roar of the airplane crashing into her dad's house. There was a high pitched squeal of the aeroplanes engines. The roaring of bricks and timber being torn from their joists and left to fall to the floor. She could swear she could hear her dad and Missy taking their final breath! Dammit Lexi don't think just move!

Both kids hopped in. Before the door was shut the truck roared to life. The wheels spewed gravel and she was off.

"Hold on tight kids!" she yelled over the noise.

Ryan pulled his phone out and began to record the plane.

"It just flipped!" EJ declared.

"It's trying to miss the house!" Ryan declared.

The trick was bouncing over pot holes and dips. Lexi had all her concentration trying to keep them moving she pressed her foot harder on the accelerator even though it was already on the floor.

"Dammit it just hit the house!" Ryan shouted.

"Mum can you go any faster?" EJ asked a dust cloud was following threatening to engulf them. Suddenly it did and Lexi was driving blind. "Put your shirt over your mouth!" she coughed violently. "Try not to inhale the dust!"" Lexi yelled and concentrated. She could do this! She had drove this trial millions of times! she drove on and the dust cloud passed her. Ryan and EJ sat and stared in shock. Ryan had recorded as long as he could but they were soon out of sight.

"Kids we're safe now!" she promised.

An explosion ripped through the bush.

"Whoa!" EJ and Ryan declared.

She pulled the truck to a stop and tried to calm her pounding heart. Her hands shook. Covered her eyes with her hand. If Ryan hadn't came running screaming about a plane she and EJ would have been in there! The thought stole the air from her lungs.

"Lexi the plane hit dad's!" Ryan panicked. "I heard it!"

"Look Ry don't worry. Dad and Miss would have got out. They'll be fine ok." she assured. Then prayed. Please be ok dad. Miss.

A silence fell. 3 people lost in their own thoughts. Lexi thought of her own mortality and her dad and Miss. Ryan worried and stressed over his parents and EJ pondered the plane. Second ticked into minutes.

"Right I'm gonna get mum!" Ryan declared standing up.

"Ryan dad will come when it is safe!" Lexi told him.

"Lexi the roof fell on them! He and mum could be lying under rubble and dying as we speak!"

"I agree!" EJ said. "We gotta help them!"

"LOOK! Both of you!" Lexi began.

"You don't tell me what to do Lexi!" Ryan spat. "You might not care but I do. I love mum and dad! We lost Amie and Zoey and Ethan. I am not losing anyone else ok!" he jumped out of the truck and walked in the direction of his house.

"He's right mum. Granddad and Miss are in there! We gotta try!"

She nodded and started the truck. Swung it around. Drove up behind Ryan. "You do as I tell you Ry! You don't go in the house. We look around and phone the…." she frowned at the thought of Ethan. "Phone the fire brigade ok!"

Ryan nodded and climbed in the truck.

"Just like your mother. No sense of self preservation at all!" Lexi muttered.

"When it comes to family there is no choice. You do it regardless of if you hurt yourself! End of!" Ryan told her seriously.

"And now you sound like dad. You got the best of both worlds. You're an equal division of both of them. Your great! Dad's loyalty and Missy's bravery!" or plain stupidity! she added silently.

Ryan looked out at the African bush and thought of his parents. And the plane that came down. Who would fly a plane at them?

"We'll stop off at mini Leopards Den see if dad and Miss are there ok?" Lexi told him.

(X)

When they arrived at Mini Leopards Den they all gasped. Saw the gutted black shell of a plane smouldering. It was rested where the right side of the house used to be. The plane had taken out half of the house.

"Jesus Christ!" Lexi exclaimed.

It was obvious that the house had burned hot and fast. They saw body lying near to the house. Broken and bleeding.

"Ryan, EJ stay in the truck!" she said sternly. "I'm gonna help him!" she then launched from her seat and jogged over. Saw when she approached it was a man. Grabbed his hands and pulled him across the dusty ground. She looked up and saw that her entire kitchen was gone. Her bedroom was gone. Lets face it the entire left side of her house was freaking rubble - Again! This was just pure bullshit! God why she was bothering to help this guy was beyond her. Thanks to him she and her son were homeless! She knew deep down why, her job was to help people. It was like a part of her, she couldn't sit by and let someone be hurt or in pain. Even if the guy had flew a plane into 2 houses! She exhaled. Soon had him beside the truck. EJ and Ryan looked down at him curiously.

"EJ." she prompted.

He tossed her the first aid kit from under the seat.

"Ryan."

"I've already phoned both an ambulance and the fire brigade." he said and twitched in his seat. While Lexi helped this guy his mum and dad could be dying!

She nodded. Opened the first aid kit and looked at her meagre supplies.

"It'll have to do!" she murmured.

Lexi cleaned the man up as best she could. Then poured water into his mouth. His pulse was very very slow. She had no way of telling if his pupils were blown. Where's this ambulance? She thought.

"Sir. Can you hear me?" she asked slowly and clearly. She had no idea if he even spoke English!

"Sir I'm a paramedic. If you can hear me squeeze my hand!"

The man suddenly let out an almighty groan. "Argh!" tried to roll into the foetal position. A protective pose she knew. He was too weak to even roll.

"Sir, sir! I'm Lexi. Can you tell me your name?"

His eyes rolled. "Trev!" he murmured. Moved his head slightly. Looked at her. "Help Trev!"

"Yes Trev. I'm helping you ok!" Lexi assured.

He muttered Trev slowly and continuously. It grew weaker and weaker so that by the need it was barely a whisper. He was barely incoherent. He slipped back into unconsciousness. Ryan sat frowning angrily. Tapping his hands impatiently.

"Mum isn't it weird that he spoke about himself in the third person?" EJ pondered out loud.

"EJ son don't distract me right now?"

"But it is!" he stressed. "There might be another person. A man named Trev!"

"If there was he would be with him. He's probably concussed son! Maybe worse. His body is on the verge of shutting down!"

Ryan throughout this time finally reached the end of his patience.

"Can you just let him die and come and help mum and dad?" he fumed.

"Ryan!" she warned.

"Well he flew a plane into the house and your helping him meanwhile mum and dad could be dead. If they are fine then why aren't they here yet?" he asked standing up.

"Ryan no! You dare and I swear…."

"I'm going to get mum and ad!" he yelled jumped out of the truck and ran off.

"Dammit Ryan!" she got up. The man started fitting. She looked at Ryan jogging off and then at the man. Grunted in frustration and dropped to her knees.

"I'll go after him mum!" EJ suggested.

"NO! stay where you are!" she told him sternly.

(X)

The ambulance had arrived and the man was stabilised. A minute later an anxious looking Danny and Missy ran around the corner at full speed. Missy was yelling their names. Her dad ran to her and engulfed her in a massive hug.

"God Lex I was so worried." he then glanced at her house and paled.

Missy looked around, then at the house. "Lex where's Ryan?" her voice shook with fear.

"Miss, he isn't in there. He ran off towards yours saying he needed to help you and dad." she said.

"And you let him?" Missy shrieked.

Lexi was telling her final observations to the ambulance technician. "Miss he went into cardiac arrest!" Lexi explained.

"This is all HIS fault. You should have stopped your brother then saved him!"

"Miss Ry is a good kid." Danny soothed. She pulled out of his arms.

"I'm going to find my son!" Missy sprinted in the direction of Leopard's Den. Danny watched her go. Fought the urge to run after her. One of them had to behave rationally.

"It's a good thing Daniel and Amy are at the auction huh dad?" Lexi asked as the man was put in the back of the ambulance.

He nodded and looked at the blackened ruins of his daughters house. It seemed the world was determined to take them all away. One by one. Luckily it hadn't succeeded in taking any of his family this time! There was still a chance though. Missy when panicked didn't exactly think rationally.

"Look Lex…."

"Go on, find Ryan and Miss." she told him. "We'll come too."

He nodded.

"You and Miss need checked over thoroughly! By a doctor or paramedic!" she hinted.

"I'll make sure she lets you ok?" he asked.

She nodded and they climbed in the truck.

**A/N danny thinking that no one has been badly hurt...i'll leave it like that for now x keep reading to find out the aftermath x**


	29. Unstable

Amie was lain on something hard. Her whole body ached, it was a mass of pain. She rolled herself into the foetal position. She breathed deeply. She heard a large noise. She felt fear run through her. Rashid was back! He was gonna torture her somemore! He'd followed her to Leopards Den and was gonna take her back! She thought delirious. She pulled herself onto her hands and knees. Made her way over to a bush and collapsed. She'd rest here and when she had her strength back she'd kick Rashid's ass! She lay for 10 minutes. All was quiet, she needed water. Got up and groaned in pain. Began to walk with no aim as to where she was going. Just walked. Her mind blank. Her eyes devoid. Her arms hung limply by her sides and her feet shuffled heavily.

'_Amie where you going?' _she heard her mothers voice in her head. _'Amie darling your going the wrong way. Your heading into the bush!'_

She walked into a tree and fell on the ground.

'_Amie your in a bad way darling. Get up! Head to Leopards Den. Go to your dad! He'll take care of you!'_

"Leopard's Den." she muttered weakly. "Leopard's Den."

'_Yeah Amie. Go home!'_

"Home." she parroted on a breath. "Dad, mum Daniel and Ryan."

Mustered the strength within herself to roll onto her stomach. Pulled her legs up. Her forehead rested on the dirty ground. Pulled in deep breaths of oxygen.

"I need help!" she said. Tears fell down her face. Her shoulders shook softly.

'_I'm here Amie.' _

Amie felt soft hands on her arms and she was on her feet. Wobbling. She leant against a tree. Grateful it was there to catch her.

"I'm gonna die out here mum. I'm scared to move in case I fall and can't get up."

'_Amie Trevanion does not die you hear me!' Alice told her sternly._

"Don't let me die mum." she asked softly. "Please."

'_I've kept you here this long. Lexi too. Now that was hard!'_

Amie smiled a small smile.

'_I promise you Amie I'm taking care of you. Nothing will happen to you.'_

She nodded almost imperceptibly. Began to walk leaning on any trees she could. She was so weak she felt like giving up. She stumbled a few times. But once again she felt hands on her helping her to her feet. She walked for a little bit looked up expecting to see the roof of the house in the distance instead all she saw was a jagged smouldering outline. She remembered what happened with the plane. Began to breath heavily and felt strength return to her muscles.

"Dad?" she screamed running. "Ryan? Miss?"

No reply.

She ran faster and broke through the bush.

"Lex? Daniel Ethan? Answer me!" she yelled. Ran from the back of the house to the front.

'_Amie, careful it's unsta….Ryan!" _she gasped.

"Mum?" she asked. Terrified. Looked own the hallway. It was littered with debris.

'_Ryan is trapped in there. In the living room!' _her mother told her.

"What? Where?"

'_A portion of the living room wall is about to fall down on him. He's lain by the patio doors in the living room. It's gonna kill him!'_

Like hell is that wall falling on my baby brother!" she declared stubbornly.

Amie ran up the asters. Climbed and jumped over debris in the hallway. Came to the living room and saw Ryan sat up. His left leg lay under rubble. He was moving rocks steadily.

"Ryan duck!" she yelled as the patio door fell on him.

He had already turned and looked at it. It had screeched loudly as the hinges snapped. He wrapped his arms around his head. Protected it. The door just missed knocking him out. The glass shattered and embedded into his leg. He swore and tears popped into his eyes. He had a determined look on his face. Began to shift rubble again. She dived in.

"I'm here Ry. I'm gonna help. Get you outta here!" Amie said and began moving bricks.

Ryan frowned at he then realised who she was. "Amie? What happened to you?" he asked softly.

She glanced up at herself. Looked in the cracked mirror. Was taken aback at her reflection. She was smeared with mud sweat and blood. Some wet and some dried. She didn't recognise herself for a moment. The only recognisable features were the black hair. Even her eyes were different. They were colder harder and seemed shuttered. She couldn't dwell on that right now though….she had another more pressing matter.

"Look I'm gonna get you out!" she repeated.

She moved bricks and his leg was almost free.

'_Wall!' _her mother yelled in her head.

She dived over his leg automatically without even knew better than to second guess her mum. She braced her hands against the wall. Felt the strain immediately. Inhaled sharply as her aching muscles protested.

Ryan's eyes were wide. He had never seen anyone hold up a wall before especially not a woman!

"Ryan this wall is gonna come down!" she said strained. A few small bricks fell on her shoulders. She winced. "I need you to move. Get out of the way as soon as you can!"

Help me mum! She pleaded silently.

Ryan was moving swiftly. Pushing bricks off himself. Pulling his leg.

Amie shoulders weakened for a second and the wall wobbled precariously.

'_Amie move!' Alice shouted. S_he couldn't help this time. She was pressing against the wall trying to help her daughter but it wasn't working.

"NO!" Amie shouted at the wall angrily as her shoulders threatened to give out again.

I can't move mum. If I do Ryan gets crushed! Amie answered her mum's question silently.

'_If you don't then YOU get crushed!' _Alice told her.

That's not set in stone! She replied silently.

'_Yes Amie it is!' Alice retorted._

Fair trade then! She ignored her mothers voice from then on in.

"RYAN!" They heard Missy's voice yell. Missy! she thought gratefully. She'd help.

"We're in the living room mum!" he shouted back at her.

"Ryan please I can't keep this up much longer!" Amie told him panicking. "MISS!" she yelled. Her eyes closed and her face was contorted with pain.

Ryan was free and was trying to drag himself but he kept slipping. More bricks were raining on Amie's shoulders and head. Getting heavier and harder. Missy appeared at the living room door.

Amiecouldn't holsd on no more. She pushed and tried but the strength left her shoulders and her legs collapsed from beneath her. Her body gave out.

"Now RYAN!" Amie yelled in the final second. in warning.

Ryan rolled just in time and the wall began to disintegrate onto Amie as she lay on the floor exhausted. She was soon buried under rubble.

(X)

Missy saw her son. Lain face down on rubble not moving. Missy ran across. Couldn't see the other person. They were completely buried.

"Ryan."

He lifted his head. His face was tear streaked. "I killed her!" he sobbed.

"Look Ryan calm down. I need to get you and the other person out!"

"Mum, it's Amie!" he cried.

"Our Amie?" she asked and paled.

He nodded and more tears leaked.

"Right move yourself. Get out of here. Get outside and stay out there till your dad arrives!"

"I'm sorry mum!" he said still crying.

She helped him to his feet. Gave him a piece of wood to brace his weight on.

"Is she….."

"Move it now!" Missy yelled. He limped out. Missy was moving bricks frantically.

"Look what happens!" she said. "Trouble follows you everywhere!" she said tears falling.

Missy uncovered her head easily. She had fell in such a way that her legs had taken most of the bricks and her face hadn't taken many. She had rolled to protect her head like a cocoon.

"Amie!" she said. "Amie answer me now!" she demanded.

Her body appeared and Missy gasped. Her clothes were torn and she could see the scratches, burns and multi coloured bruises over every inch of skin. Both her eyes were black and her nose was broken. Her lip split, twice it's normal size. Her hair was all different lengths and singed.

She picked Amie up. "This place is unstable!" she whispered. "You shouldn't have taken on a wall Ames!" tears trickled down her cheeks as she tried to carry her as gently as possible. She climbed over rubble trying to jolt her as little as possible.

"Lexi will be here soon and she'll take care of you!" Missy told her. "So don't you dare be giving up! You did good. You got yourself home. Now you're here we'll all protect you!"

As she walked out the front door Danny came around the corner in the truck. He saw Ryan's leg and face and ran over to him.

"Dad I'm so sorry!" he said heartbrokenly.

"As long as your ok!" he soothed. Not realising what he way apologising for. Before Ryan could elaborate he saw Missy with a limp body. Frowned.

"Is that the other pilot?" Lexi asked ran towards her.

"Dad I'm fine go see to Amie." Ryan told him seriously.

"It's Amie!" Missy told Lexi at the same time. Tears fell from her eyes.

"AMIE?" Both Lexi and Danny declared. Knew it was true by the look on Missy's face.

"Lex a wall fell on her. And a whole bunch of other stuff too!"

"EJ ambulance! Dad vet box! It's the best I got!"

Missy lay her down and Danny retrieved the box. Danny opened the box for her. Lexi tossed out the drugs. Pulled out some gauze.

"This antiseptic is no use to me!" she said frustrated. Took her first proper look at her sisters face and gasped. Then focused. Swallowed thickly and checked her pulse. Not as strong as she'd like but not weak. Lexi took off her jumper and placed it under Amie's head. She pulled at Amie's jacket but it wouldn't opened. Tore it to get it off. Fell back onto the mud.

"I can't treat her dad!" Hot wet tears fell. "Look at her!"

Her once white t-shirt was dark red in places. Her skin was all mottled and multicoloured. Black in some places. Red in others.

"This is far more then cuts and bruises dad!"

"Lex she needs you!" Missy told her.

"EJ get me some water from the truck please." she asked voice shaking. "Miss will you grab me the other vet box?"

Missy nodded.

"Careful!" Danny called after them automatically.

"She's been tortured dad!" Lexi hissed. There's evidence of burns. Electrocution and that's just what I can see!" Lexi said seriously. Rubbed her head.

He was still absorbing Lexi's words when Missy and EJ came running back with their requested items.

Lexi then began tending to her sisters wounds. Cleaned them all up with the water. Put a fresh bandage at her side. Missy held Amie's head as Danny trickled water into her mouth.

She coughed and spluttered her face angry.

"I'll kill you!" she warned weakly. Eye's closed.

"Amie it's dad." he said softly.

Her fist flew out. Lexi jumped back. Missy swerved. Danny ducked. "I'll fight back!" she winced and her body jerked. "You'll never break me!" her eyes had never opened once.

She went quiet and still. The ambulance pierced the air.

"What have they done to her?" Missy whispered.

Danny and Lexi shared a concerned look.

**A/N ok so amie is with her family**** but will she pull through? and if she does will she be the same person she was before? this and more questions will be answered in the coming chapters x**


	30. Hospital and Home

A full day had passed. Danny and Missy were at the hospital they still hadn't been able to go see Amie. They had spent a full day cleaning her up and operating. They were getting really worried. They would have been able to go in if she was fine.

Daniel walked in looking anxious.

"Amie?" he asked Missy.

"She's asleep or so they tell us." Missy said.

"Induced coma." Danny supplied.

"Her body was rejecting help." Missy told Daniel. "It had began to shut down."

"She kept waking up and fighting." Danny elaborated. Face pained.

"Wherever she had been must have been hell on earth!" Missy whispered.

Daniel looked at his dad. His dad knew things that Missy didn't. The look on his face told him everything.

"I'm gonna head to the bathroom." Missy murmured. "Then in an hour I'll go and swap with Lexi for Ryan.

Danny nodded and squeezed her hand as she passed. Pressed a kiss to her cheek.

Danny then pulled Daniel to one side. "I need you to help me Daniel. You need to help me convince Missy to stay out of Amie's room." he inhaled sharply. "She's been tortured son. The extent…." he dropped his head. Ran his hands through his hair. "They were brutal. There isn't a place on her that isn't marked. The doctors have warned me already there will be extensive scarring."

Daniel paled. "Tortured?"

"Lets just say….right hand. Zero fingernails and she is missing 3 teeth and countless others are chipped.

Daniels jaw dropped and he began to hyperventilate. "Oh God!"

Danny sat him down and murmured to him as he breathed deeply slowly. After he calmed they saw Missy walking towards them.

"Miss you can't go in there. Please!" Daniel pleaded.

Missy raised her eyebrows at danny. "Using the kids huh?"

"Miss.""There is no CAN'T!" Missy told Daniel stubbornly. "And if it was you or Lexi or any of the family in there I'd be the same."

Both men knew by Missy's tone of voice that she wouldn't be swayed.

"What happened here?" Daniel asked.

"Well….a plane flew down and ripped the roof off the house and took out half of Lexi's house."

Daniel's eyes widened.

"Amie must have found Ryan in the house coz she held a wall off him but the wall ended up falling on her. We assume she was flying the plane." Missy told him.

"Where's Amy?" Danny asked.

"Dammit she said she was going straight home!" Daniel declared.

"I'll call her. I need some air." Danny mentioned. The things Amie must have went through. His thoughts were getting darker and darker.

"Hey." Missy said softly. Put her hands on his shoulders. His face never changed. "Danny don't think about it honey." Missy said and wrapped him in her arms.

"I'm ok Miss!" he told her. Hugged her tightly.

"You can't lie to me Danny." she whispered for his ears only. Flipped her hand towards Daniel. Sensing Danny needed five minutes. Daniel nodded and walked off.

"She's only a baby Miss." he murmured voice breaking. Head hidden in her shoulder.

She sniffed. Cleared her throat. "I know honey. But look at what she did. She got home! I mean she got away. I couldn't even begin to fathom how she did. But she did. And she will get better!"

"Please Miss. I can't let you go in there. Not with…. Please! I'm begging you. Just till she wakes up."

"Danny I love that you are protecting with from this. But I'm going to support her."

"I wouldn't let Alice go in and I'm not letting you!" Tears filled his eyes. "You have no idea." his voice broke. "What they did to my baby!"

She pulled him into a quiet corner. Held him as the tears flowed freely. Pulled his head down and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"I wish I didn't know and didn't have to endure it. They don't even know how she lived through everything she'd been through!" he stressed.

This made Missy all he more determined. "Who picked her up when she fell down?" Missy asked.

Danny stayed quiet.

"Held her when she cried?"

Danny started shaking his head.

"I know you don't see me as her mum but I see myself in that position and she sees me like that too. She needs her mum there. Strong!"

"But…" he began.

"No buts Danny!" she said stubbornly. "I don't wanna fight or argue but nothing short of a herd of elephants standing guard will keep me out of that room!"

"I can arrange that!" he told her seriously. Put his hand on her cheek. Then wiped his eyes. "I'd better go and telephone Amy. Where's Daniel?" he looked around.

She smiled at him.

"Thanks honey."

"I know you well." She murmured Danny bent down and kissed her once softly.

"I'll let you go. You don't have to protect me Danny. I'm not gonna break." Missy told him seriously.

He nodded but resolved to find a way to keep her out of there if he could. He pulled out his phone and as soon as he was outside he rang Amy.

(X)

"What the freaking hell happened here?" she shrieked.

"Oh your already home." Danny said.

"You mean what's left of it?"

"I'm sorry we didn't warn you Amy, I would have rather you didn't see that." he murmured.

"What about you Danny?" she asked. She had hit the nail on the head. Seeing that plane coming down had caused some unhappy memories to surface.

"I'm fine. My concentration is on my daughter. Amie is here and in a bad way in hospital."

"Look Danny…" she went to say something. "Nothing." she whispered finally.. "I'll stay here. I'm not family so I'll start sorting things for you on this end huh?"

"Amy you are family!" he said. But was listening to the dial tone.

He exhaled. Went to rejoin Daniel and Missy. As he approached he saw Daniel sat with his face in his hands. Feared the worst immediately. His heart stopped. "Daniel son. What's wrong? Is it Amie? Miss?"

"I tried to tell her dad but she wouldn't listen. She went in there and I did too. She looks…if I ever find out who did that. I'll kill them. I swear to god!" he was breathing audibly. His hand still covered his eyes.

Danny stood with him. Calmed him down.

"God dad who could do that to her? Who could do that to anyone? I expected her to be bad dad but…." Daniel exhaled.

Danny sat down, put his arm around his son. "She'll be fine son."

"What about mental scars huh?"

"She's tough Daniel. That's all I can say!" Danny murmured.

Vanessa rang Miss. She came to collect Ryan, EJ and Lexi. She offered to let us stay there til our house is sorted."

"We have the guest huts. But I'm grateful to her for taking Ryan and EJ. Lexi too. She had to treat Amie. It really hit her. She can't bring herself down here to see her in that way." Danny said

"Neither can I dad. I'm sorry but …..I could cry when I see her."

"Go home son. Go down to a guest hut and grab a few hours sleep. Eat something too!"

Daniel rolled his eyes and shook his head. "You are such a dad."

Danny made a face. "I'm not gonna say a word." Ruffled his hair. Even though he was the same height as him.

Daniel rolled his eyes. "Christ you haven't done that since I was 10 or something."

Danny smiled. "Well it's past time then!"

"O I forgot. Had Amy got home?"

Danny nodded.

"How bad is it?" Daniel asked wincing.

"Our roof has been completely torn off. It's just gone. The side wall in the living room has fell down. That's what fell on Amie. The main structure is all there so I'm hoping it's saveable."

"God dad what is going on? Everything is going to hell!" Daniel gasped.

"I don't care about the house Daniel. We have Amie back. I've been planning her funeral and now I have her back." he trailed off.

"I'll go home like you said. To clean up though. Call builders and other stuff. Call me when she wakes up."

"I will son. I'm glad you and Amy were at the auction."

"I wish I'd been here. To help."

Danny shook his head. Patted his back. "Take care of Amy at home ok."

"I will dad."

(X)

Daniel was outside of the hospital. His mind in turmoil. His sister was gonna die. How could anyone survive what she had been through? She looked so terrible! How could anyone do tat to a woman? Her rested his head on the steering wheel. Jumped at a tap on the window.

"Hey." Amy told him with a smile. "I thought you might of wanted a lift home. Guessed after seeing Amie you might not a fit state to drive."

He frowned.

"Your dad told me she was in a bad way so….."

He nodded. Climbed out and surrendered the keys to her. "How'd you get here?"

"Taxi - you should have seen the drivers face at the house. He sped out there like the hounds of hell were after him."

"Hounds of hell?" Daniel asked.

She shrugged. "Something my aunt used to say." she volunteered. It was the first time she had admitted anything about herself freely. She started the car.

"I don't wanna talk about Amie so if you want info from me forget it!" he said defensively.

"Fine." she said simply. "There are plenty of other things to talk about. Like how gorgeous I am!" she smiled widely.

He rolled his eyes. "I think I wanna talk about Amie."

"Oh no you started this. You may begin." she said playfully. Taking his mind off his problems.

He studied her. She was good looking actually. Not that he would ever tell her. Not after she made him sound like a perve! "Nope can't see it!"

She looked at him in the rear view mirror and stuck her tongue out at him.

He smiled back automatically.

She exhaled. "Well since we're not gonna talk about my breath taking beauty then what?"

"You have a high opinion of yourself." he told her.

"Just telling you popular opinion." she grinned.

Why didn't she smile like that more often? He wondered.

"So c'mon then Daniel. What you wanna talk about?" she encouraged.

"The weather is nice." he supplied dryly.

"Oh brilliant choice Daniel! Yawn. Default subject."

He grinned.

"I agree the sun is shining. Very nice." she finished.

They sat in silence.

"Do you mind if I ask you something?" she asked.

"If it involves you playing tricks on me then no."

"No tricks I swear. Plus I am a responsible adult!" she said in a mock haughty tone.

"Fine shoot." he told her.

"How come you aren't called Danny like your dad?"

Daniel sat thinking. He had never noticed that before. "I dunno. I've always been Daniel." he murmured. "It's what mum called me. I think if dad had been around when I was really small I would have eventually been called Danny. I was Dee Jay for a while you know Danny Junior." he trailed off. "Mum struggled for a while when she lost my dad. I don't remember but Missy did. She struggled with me especially. I have ADHD you see. I control it now but when I was young it was hard. She had Amie too and I could get aggressive. Plus I look a lot like my dad. I'm his namesake and his likeness except for the eyes and hair which was her gift to me. I think she called me Daniel coz it hurt less and it just stuck you know?"

She nodded. Felt guilt. She didn't steal his dad but sometimes it felt like she had.

"You lost a lot back then too." he murmured.

"Who my mum?" she shrugged. "I was tiny. Literally a baby in arms. She died on the plane. And my dad? All I know he is called Peter Robinson and is dead. I'm an orphan and have been my whole life. You never miss what you never had I suppose." she went silent looking out at the road.

"I'm sorry I was…..a prick to you about our dad."

She jerked the car to a stop near to Leopards Den. "He isn't my dad though is he Daniel?" she climbed out and pulled out her phone. Pulled up contractor websites.

"Amy…."

She found a phone number. Pressed it into her phone. "Let's just try and get the house sorted yeah?"

(X)

Danny walked into Amie's room. Missy was sat by her beside. 2 of her hands were clasped around one of Amie's. She lay very still. She was very pale. And bruised. She looked small and resembled her mother so much Danny felt an urge to kill whoever had hurt his baby girl. Missy's head was rested on their joined hands. Her eyes were closed. Face pained.

"Miss I didn't want you to see her like this!"

"It wasn't your choice Danny. I can't believe you expected me to stay out."

"I'm surprised the doctors let you in." he sat opposite her and looked at his daughter.

"I told them I was her mum." she challenged him to argue.

He nodded and noticed that Amie's hand, the one nearest to him was bandaged. That must be….. "Did the doctor say anything?" he asked taking his mind off it.

"They said she is suffering from extreme exhaustion and could sleep for a while. Her arm is fractured not broken. A cut in her side had turned septic but what kept her going so long was that it was cleaned."

Danny sensed an and. "And?" he queried.

"Danny he said there was evidence of physical torture." her voice broke and she covered her eyes. Her saw her cheeks glistening.

Dammit why did they have to tell her? And why hadn't he told her? He hadn't even warned her. He exhaled. "I'm sorry Miss. I didn't warn you. I just didn't expect you to get in here and I didn't want you worrying over her."

"You knew what happened to her?" she asked disbelief in her tone.

He nodded solemnly.

"You should have known that nothing would keep me out of here!" she said angrily.

"I know Miss."

She wiped her eyes. "So tell me!" she demanded.

"No details Miss!"

"Tell me or I ask the doctor. And he'll give me all the details! It's your call."

He glared at her and she stood up. He put his hand on hers. "Fine. She has been badly beaten. Had salt poured on open wounds and electrocuted. They burned her too. By the looks of the burns it looks like they used a blowtorch!" there was no way he was telling her the full extent of what his daughter had endured. If she knew he had a feeling Miss would catch the first flight over to Borneo and declare war on the perpetrators - Literally!

He was saved from Missy asking about more by Amie's mumbling.

"Hold on Tom. I'll get us outta here!" she whispered stubbornly. "Dammit fly!" she pleaded. She was quiet for what seemed like an age. Then frowned. "I need help mum! Please help me!"

"I'm here." Missy whispered in reply and squeezed her hand in reassurance.

One eye opened and she peered at missy tiredly. Smiled. "Mum." she whispered on a breath.

"Sleep Amie. I'm keeping you safe." Missy vowed.

Amie seemed to relax visibly then closed her eye once again. Settled back into a content sleep.

"Poor baby." Missy murmured. Smoothed her black hair off her forehead. "She had to go through all that alone!" it was then she realised Amie spoke of a man.

"Danny do you know a Tom?"

"Tom?"

"Yeah. Amie said she was gonna get a Tom out of there."

"Lexi took care of a Trevor. No Tom." he murmured.

Missy nodded. "She isn't out of the woods yet but she recognised me." Missy said. Relief filling her body. "It worried me what she said though danny. It isn't like her to ask for help!. She is usually so independent."

"I know!" Danny exhaled. Whatever his baby girl had been through might have changed her character irreplaceably. He so hoped this wasn't the case.

(X)

The had been support set up in the house. Daniel and Amie worked methodically.

"I think the kitchen needs sorted first. You know for food and stuff. If need be we can all bunk down in the surgery." Amie suggested.

He nodded.

"If we get that done then we'll clear the hallway."

"Look Amie about what I said…" Daniel began.

"You leave that subject alone and I'll leave the Amie subject alone. Deal?"

He nodded stiffly. Why did he even bother trying to be her friend?

They were working hard in silence. Every so often Amy would wipe her brow and look around. Exhale and then carry on. They had been at it for hours and couldn't see any progress. Daniel had turned silent when he found a few rocks which were smeared with blood. Possible from Amie. Most likely off his dad though.

"Hey Daniel look!" Amy said awestruck. "I can't believe it!"

He frowned at her incredulous joy filled dust smeared face. "What?"

"Floor!" she gasped. "I see floor!"

He looked at her overjoyed face and laughed. Soon Amy was laughing too.

"Yeah and such a lovely floor it is too!" he said playing along.

"You have no idea how good it is to see you!" Amy told it. "We thought we'd lost you forever!"

"Like Amie." Daniel added. Not so happily. He stopped laughing immediately.

"You ready to talk yet?" Amie whispered. Walked over and put her hand on his arm.

"You don't know what they did to her Amie. She looked…." he trailed off. He couldn't find the words to explain how bad she looked.

She nodded. Waited for him to carry on if he needed to.

"She looked like my mum lying there so still. Her chest barely moving. Her eyes all black and closed. All I could see when I saw her was my mum pinned by that truck." he inhaled sharply.

"Amie is strong. I could tell as soon as I met her. Remember you tried to set her on me."

His eyes were covered by his hand. She had no clue what to say. She wasn't the best person when it came to words.

"I was brought up to treat with woman with respect. I wouldn't do that to anyone!" he stressed. Blue eyes glittered. "Especially a woman!"

She faced him. "Coz you are a good guy." she told him softly. "And she'll need you to carry on being that normal good guy. If you let it phase you it'll mess her up more. Missy and your dad will fuss over her and over protect her enough. It'll drive her crazy. What she'll need from you is normalcy. You know annoying older brother."

"What if I can't? What if I need to protect her?"

"I don't even know her and I know that if you try to do that she will rebel!"

"She needs taken care of right now!" he retorted.

"She needs to get back to her normal routine. Any differences will only be a constant reminder of what she went through and do you really think she wants to relive it every day? Having everyone fussing will only alienate her. She needs you to be you. Not Dan man big bro to the rescue!"

He shook his head at her analogy then nodded. They stood and she looked at her hand and lowered it quickly. Put it behind her back.

"You wanna hug?" she asked awkwardly. Crossed her fingers that he didn't.

He shook his head.

She breathed an exhale of relief and a slight smile appeared on his face.

"I'll just…." she motioned to the other side of the room. She never knew how to act in emotionally charged moments. He grabbed her hand. Smiled a full smile at her. "Thanks. You're a good person."

Her brain melted. Her breath caught. Time stood still for a second.

Daniel stood looking at Amy. Something inside him told him to pull her closer. He followed through on the impulse and soon she was in his arms. After that it seemed perfectly natural to kiss her. So he lowered his head slowly. Giving her time to push him away. She didn't. She just looked at him. As he did her. Caught in the others magnetic gaze. As his lips first touched hers her felt her breath leave in a rush. Desire streaked through him like a bolt of lightning.. Her arms slid around his neck and she pulled him closer. He deepened the kiss needing her closer to him. As close to her as he possibly could get. Slowly reluctantly he pulled away.

"Wow." he breathed.

She shook her head. Wobbled and he grabbed her wrists.

"You ok?" he asked.

Was she? She had never been kissed like that before in her entire life! Her legs had no consistency. Like they were gonna disappear from under her in a second.

"Amy?" he whispered.

Her mind cleared. Her vision returned and her legs suddenly appeared beneath her again. She realised she was staring at him like an idiot. She went to take a step back. Completely forgot that the rubble was behind her. She stumbled back and shrieked. He grabbed for her but missed and she tumbled back onto the rubble. She was sat on the rubble. He was stood grinning at her.

"Oh god!" she groaned and blushed crimson. She had just had the best kiss of her entire life probably and what does she do? She stares at the man like an idiot then to make matters worse she falls over. "Can I just disappear?" she muttered. And willed the ground to swallow her up.

"You ok?" he repeated a playful light in his eyes.

She nodded. "Look I didn't fall over coz you kissed me!" she told him defiantly.

A smile tugged at his lips. "So you didn't fall for me?"

She blushed brighter. "Of course not!"

He offered her his hand. She hesitated then placed it in his. He helped her up. She looked up at him and their eyes locked once again. The reason she was really ere felt like they were a million miles away. The only thing in her mind was clear guileless blue.

**A/N ok first apologies about the length. was gonna cut it in 2 bt didn't :/  
2 what do you think of daniel and amy? your opinions are appreciated.  
3 according to the last line amy does have a reason 4 being here...is it a good one tho?****  
4 cnt say if i will be updating in the next few days im really busy i'll try. same goes 4 reviews i'll try tho x  
finally thanks 4 taking the time to read. im nt too happy wi this. it just feels stilted and rubbish : x**


	31. Bitter and Angry

Amie was drifting on something soft. Oh god she had died! She was sure of it. If she was alive then there'd be pain! She moved slightly and her side screamed in response. O so maybe not dead. Or this could be hell. As the pain intensified a groan was ripped from her throat.

"Amie." a soft voice pulled at her consciousness.

Her body wanted to stay where it was. In the safe warm cocoon of sleep.

"Amie baby." a male voice coaxed. He sounded tired and scared.

She tried to open her eyes but they felt so heavy.

"It's ok Danny. She's exhausted. She'll wake soon." the soft female voice said.

So she wasn't dead! Her mother had kept her word.

'_Course I did! I never break a promise!'_ a faint voice told her.

Anger filled her. Yes you did! You left me!

Then she was filled with confusion. Why was she still angry at her mum? She had saved her life! Was angry like her default emotion? Fatigue washed over her once again. She'd just sleep for a little while longer.

It wasn't long before the nightmare began.

(X)

Missy was sat with Amie. She'd been asleep for 3 days. She had finally persuaded Danny to go home and change. Telephone contractors and go check to see how the house was coming along. She had went home. Spent the last 2 days there with EJ and Lexi. Lexi's emergency leave had finally come through. Emergency leave that took 2 days to come through, what a farce! But anyway it had came through and she had offered to look after the boys while Missy spent some time at the hospital.

Missy looked at Amie and immediately knew that something was wrong. Sweat coated her face and her fists were clenched tightly.

"Too many!" Amie whispered brokenly.

Her face turned angry and belligerent. She began fighting an invisible demon. The blankets restricted her and she began to panic.

"No!" she hissed. "You won't win! I won't play your games." she said her tone scared.

"Amie baby wake up. Your safe. It's Miss." Missy whispered to her.

Amie's hand grabbed her collar and pulled her face close to hers. Her eyes opened. The blue was different to what it once was.

"Touch me again and I'll kill you!" Amie warned then blinked. Her eyes focused and she frowned. Missy looked at her.

"Missy?" she whispered.

"It's me Ames!" Missy told her.

"Really?" Amie asked desperately needing reassurance that she wasn't hallucinating.

"Really!" Missy promised.

Amie pulled her close and hugged her tightly. Felt the hot sting of tears but she refused to let them fall. she had to stay strong.

Missy hugged he tenderly. She wanted to squeeze her tight but was conscious of her injuries. "God Amie we've all been so worried about you."

Amie didn't want to let her go.

"I'd better go and get your doctor Ames." she murmured.

"One more minute. Please." Amie asked. A plea.

Missy nodded. Amie began to slowly release her. Lay down flat once again. Missy pressed a button. Smiled at Amie.

"When the doctor comes in I'll ring your dad. He hasn't left your side in days."

Amie nodded. "What's that for?" Amie motioned to the IV.

"I don't think…." Missy hesitated.

"For Gods sake just tell me!" Amie snapped. "Sorry." she said on a breath.

Missy shook her head. "It's ok. You lost a lot of blood and fluid. You were exhausted. They gave you blood transfusions and plasma. That is just to replete your salt sugar and glucose levels."

Amie exhaled. Looked at the ceiling. "How is…." the doctor walked in.

"I'll be right back Ames. I'll just call your dad."

Amie nodded. Looked at the doctor.

(X)

"Yeah I know Danny it's amazing news. She's dy….eager to see you so hurry up yeah?"

"I'll be there in no time!" he promised.

"I'd better get back to her. I'll see you soon."

5 minutes after disconnecting she walked back into Amie's room. You could cut the tension in the room with a knife. Amie was sat up, arms crossed glaring angrily.

"Miss Trevanion where does it hurt?"

"Before or after you prodded the hell outta me?" Amie fumed.

"It was necessary Miss answer the question please." he said exasperation clear in his tone.

"Your being funny right? Tell you what how about I tell you where it doesn't hurt? Much quicker!"

The doctor gave up on his previous question knowing that she wasn't going to answer in her current state of mind.

"Now you are awake we will take the IV away. We'll give you medication to make up for the IV."

"Go me!" Amie said dryly.

Missy frowned. It wasn't like Amie to be so cold and sarcastic. "Amie this isn't the doctors fault so quit it yeah! Tell him what he wants to know. He is only trying to help you!"

"Head. Chest and right side. The rest is only dull pains. I can handle them." she told the doctor in monotone. "And no drugs that are gonna make me loopy, like morphine!"

"That is the only pain relief we have strong enough!" the doctor told her.

Amie crossed her arms tighter. "I'll suffer then!"

"Amie why are you…" Missy began.

"This is nothing to do with you!" Amie spat. "In case either of you have forgot it's my life and I'll do what I want! Get rid of the morphine!"

"I'll send a nurse to disconnect it." The doctor said.

"Why thank you do much!" Amie said sarcasm dripped from every word.

The doctor walked out. Missy resisted the urge to shake her. To ask her what she was trying to prove by rejecting pain relief.

"Your dad, Lexi, Ryan and EJ are on their way to see you."

"So." Amie replied.

"You act like this around then and I'll…."

"You'll what Miss?" Amie asked defiantly.

"I'll smack you upside the head!"

"Try it Melissa and see what I do!" Amie warned coldly.

Missy smiled cockily. "You…." was saved from the rest of her reply by the family bursting into the room. Missy glanced at Amie who had painted a false smile on her face. Her posture hadn't changed. If anything it was stiffer, her arms still crossed tighter than before.

(X)

Missy watched Amie through out her interactions with her family. Her smile was forced and brittle. It fell every time if she wanted something. She kept looking at Ryan.

"You ok Ryan?" she asked in a soft voice. Her eyes softened too.

"I'm sorry Amie." he told her.

Amie made a confused face. "Why?"

"Coz if I hadn't went in the house the wall wouldn't have fell on you!"

Amie seen a flash in front of her eyes. Holding a wall up. Pain in her arms and shoulders.

"Lex told me not to go in but I was worried about mum and dad. Thought I saw something under the rubble. A portion of the wall fell on me. The rest was gonna come down and you saved me. It fell on you instead."

Amie smiled at him. A real smile this time. The difference was startling. Danny noticed it too.

"You owe me big style kid! Life long slavery should do it." winked.

He smiled back. "I'll give you 3 days max! Take it or leave it!"

"I'll take what I can get!" she told him.

There had been a flash of her old personality there. She soon returned to being brooding and hostile.

"Hey kids why don't we go to the café?" Lexi asked.

"I'm starving!" EJ declared.

"I'll bring you back a bacon sandwich." Ryan told her. She high fived him softly.

"See that's why I saved you." she smiled again. "Ss well as you being my baby brother."

"Enough of the baby eh?" he drawled as Lexi led them out.

Amie exhaled tiredly. The morphine was starting to wear off and pain was beginning to creep inside every atom of her body. She was beginning to ache. She closed her eyes. Didn't want to pretend that she was normal anymore. It was mentally exhausting checking herself all the time. She felt angry. Contemplative. She didn't even know the names of the other feelings in her. She felt….lost.

"Amie." her dad started.

"If one more person asks me if I want something I am gonna scream! I'm injured not brain dead. I'm capable of asking if I need anything!" she fumed.

There was a knock at the door. Amie exhaled and kept her eyes closed. "More people to join this o so brilliant party!"

A man walked in. Danny shook his hand. The man put his finger to his lips. Limped over to Amie's bed. He wanted to surprise her.

"Hey Trev. How's it hanging?" he asked softly.

Amie's eyes popped open. "Tom?" her face split into an overjoyed grin. "C'mere!" they embraced tightly.

"I knew you'd get me outta there! Although I should kick your ass for the Thomas!" he whispered. Kissed her cheek.

"There was no doubt!" she said cockily. Then frowned. Smiled faded. Her eyes downcast. Her dad and Missy noticed and looked at each other.

"Don't think about it." He whispered close to her ear.

"How can I not?" she asked him. Blue eyes troubled. "They…." Looked at her dad. Cut off her sentence. "How are you doing?" she asked breezily.

He shrugged. "I'm good. In my civvies so I'm free to go home."

"Me too. Well I just woke up so I can't go home yet."

"Officer Barrett is on his way. Your to be commended apparently."

Her eyes widened. "No way!"

"Yeah apparently what you did was a very big deal. Not only saving me but getting rid of that dictator too! I saw you kill him and told them."

Danny's eyes widened when he heard that Amie had killed someone. Missy elbowed him.

"I told them it was him or you though. I tried to get up and help when I saw him over you like that but…. I'm sorry I didn't help."

"I…." she went to say she didn't need help but couldn't bring herself to lie. "Well I promised that I'd save you. So…."

He smiled.

"I dunno why Barrett is coming though. What I did wasn't that good! Wasn't that big a deal! What I'd like to know is what I'm doing here. The last thing I remember is flying over a deep blue sea. After cleaning up my side."

"You don't know?" Missy asked awkwardly. Glanced at Danny

"Right what's up?" Amie asked. Looked between her dad and Missy.

"Well you already know you flew over." her dad told her.

She sensed an and.

"Amie you sorta landed at leopards den." her dad told her.

Amie put her hand over her face as images came to her Impacting houses. Rubble and debris. "At or ON?"

"Ames." Missy and Danny chorused.

"God I crash landed twice!" she said bitterly. "Destroyed not only my dad's home but my sisters too!" she shook her head. Looked at her dad sympathetically.

"Amie you saved a man's life. Your own too. Do you think we care about the house?" Missy asked.

"You did Ames. I was in no shape to get myself out of there!" Tom agreed.

Amie looked up at Tom.

"Honestly Mr Trevanion. She carried me out of there. I'm over 6 foot myself. She was badly injured and she carried me!"

"Shut up Tom!" she hissed.

Danny stared at her. "What dad? Did you expect me to take it lying down?" Danny looked at her pained - at her tone of voice.

"Amie there's people outside who wanna meet you. Can I bring them in. Just for a moment?" Tom asked.

"Look Tom Amie is still…." Danny started.

"Sure Tom." Amie interjected. "Just for a minute." Glared at her father.

Tom walked to the door and opened it. A woman and 2 men walked in. one young and one old.

"Is this the girl?"

"Woman dad!" Tom scolded.

"She barely looks old enough! Barely out of nappies!" his dad retorted.

"I'm sorry Amie!" he said. "Shut up dad!"

Amie smiled at Toms discomfort.

The woman strolled in and hugged Amie. Startled the life out of her, it was so unexpected. She looked at Tom panicking. Her arms in the air comically. Then she sort of patted her back awkwardly.

"Thank you so much for my little boy!" she gushed. Tears falling.

'What did you tell her?' she mouthed angrily.

The woman released her.

"Christ mum!" Tom muttered. "Sorry Lexi my family are being abnormal today!"

"Amie this is my dad Peter. My mother Gloria and my younger brother Chris.

Amie stayed quiet. Hated being the centre of attention. The young man looked her up and down. Winked. "I was expecting Lara Croft. Nope - way better looking. Can't wait to see what you look like without the….."

"Chris!" Tom warned. "What is up with you today?"

Amie smiled again. Liked seeing the unrufflable Tom frazzled.

"No harm done. It's nice to know I'm not completely hideous!" Amie murmured.

Her dad was glaring at Chris. Some things never changed!

"Your just jealous coz I'm younger and better looking then you Tom. Face it you got no chance with a stunner like her!"

Tom shook his head. "You enjoying this Amie?"

"O yeah." Amie laughed.

"Well for your information you are 99 percent hideous!" he muttered.

Amie made a face at him. "Funny man. We have a comedian in the house."

Amie introduced her parents to Toms. Toms mum hugged Missy and her dad. Missy looked as startled as her.

Amie tried to stay alert but she was tired. She was blinking.

"Amie had been awake for a while now." Missy hinted.

"I'm fine!" Amie replied then yawned.

"We'll let you sleep." Danny mentioned. "The sooner your better the sooner you can come home."

Amie nodded.

"We can thank you enough Miss Trevanion." Peter said.

"No thanks necessary. I like Tom, except for a few annoying tendencies. Like calling me Trev."

"Hey you know I mean it lovingly!" he piped up.

"I don't care I still hate it!" yawned once again.

Tom ushered his parents out. "I'll be a minute." walked and sat beside her on her bed. "I'll come and see you again soon. I've been discharged so I'll be heading back to England."

"You going back in the army?" Amie asked softly. For his ears only.

His blue eyes turned cloudy. Ran his hand through his light brown tousled hair.

"I am!" she said stubbornly.

Tom smiled. "That's what I like about you Trev. That and the fact you'll lay your life down for me! I'll see you again soon." pressed a final kiss to her cheek.

"Trev!" she muttered. "I knew I shoulda left you there, and didn't I warn you what would happen if you kissed me?"

He wiggled his eyebrows and left.

"Nice boy." Missy mentioned as he left.

"He's 25 and don't get any ideas. We work together!" Amie said sleepily.

"Just making an observation!"

"I am only 21. I have no intention of falling in love and settling down just yet. Go bug Daniel!"

Missy and Danny laughed at her tone and words. Amie's time with Tom had loosened her up so she was back to her normal self a little while.

"Do you think she'll stay like this?" Danny asked after hearing his daughters soft deep breathing.

"It's understandable she is full of rage Danny. She has been through a lot. She'll find a way through it I think. But angry Amie is here for the duration."

Danny nodded. "I haven't always been the best father to her. I mean I was absent for the first six years of her life. Then after losing her mother…..she was here and so much like her and I…."

"Danny I think this is a conversation you need to have with her." Missy had to stop him. His comments were hitting a little close to home.

"I let a distance develop so I ended up not knowing her." he carried on. Oblivious to Miss's discomfort.

"Danny!" Missy asked.

He didn't hear the tone of voice. Too caught up in his own morose thoughts. "No wonder she thought I didn't love her I mean she was around and I acted like she didn't exist! God I may as well had gave her away….."

Missy stood up sharply. "I'm going home Danny!" she said.

"Miss?"

She ignored him and strode out. He hadn't seen the way his words hurt her. As usual he was too caught in his own misery that he completely ignored hers!

**A/N Ok amie and missy having a rough time. this is all building up to something that i just wrote today :)  
i like tom. maybe he'll be back later...or not. i still need to make a decision although i know where i am going with amie got some Very late chapters already written  
ok off the subject abit. thanks 4 reading and hope u enjoyed x**


	32. Admit

**A/N ok quick recap, amie is all confused and angry. danny was beating himself up and inadevtantly hurt missy with what he was saying. **

Missy arrived at home after sitting in her car in a secluded area crying her heart out. She had parked in front of the house, turned the ignition off in the car and began to think. Her hand frozen on the keys. All this stuff with Amie combined with her own health problems and the fact after 7 years she was no closer to finding her daughter. It was just too much and all the feelings she had bottled up exploded. No one knew about her daughter. Not Alice, not Shauna. Her siblings. Not even her daughters father - not that that mattered! She was going to have to tell Danny, if she no Miss NOT IF when you find her! When she found her she wanted….what did she want? To know that she was ok? Get to know her? Be a mother to her? God the girl's be 21, she probably had a life and a perfectly good mother already. All she had done was provide some genetic material. That didn't make her a mother not at all! If she was alive, happy and healthy then Missy was happy just to let her go on with her life.

She just needed to know! She couldn't find a record of Amy Lynch anywhere though. The adoption agency she had used was shut down now. All their records had been destroyed in a fire. She had nothing except a name and a birth certificate to go on. She hired a private investigator and after 7 years all he had was dead ends. She should never have gave her up! Then again she wasn't capable of looking after her at the time. She still had her hang ups. She had considered an abortion but for some reason couldn't go through with it. She loved kids, really loved them. Always had but having one of her own. On her own. With no one to stop her going mental scared the life out of her! I mean how did she know how to be a mum? What did she know about taking care of a child?

Then Alice had rang, she was pregnant too! 4 months gone. Showing already. Missy panicked. Showing? People would see! Know! Ask questions she didn't really want to answer. So she did what she always did in situations like that - she took off. Ran for the hills. No one could know about this! Especially Alice and Shauna, they were brilliant mums and Missy couldn't bear to disappoint them, or let them down! There was also another reason Alice couldn't know. I mean the father alone! Not that anything that came out of his mouth was true! She had been…..what did he call her? Ah yes, a means to an and. She couldn't believe she fell for it! Here she was, a smart successful business woman and she let this guy feed her a load of lines, she and Karl had been a on a break and she was lonely. Missed him. Nothing had ever been the same after that. He didn't understand why she was so down sometimes and she never told him.

Anyway so when she found out Alice was pregnant and realising people would see her and know she ran off to America for a year. Travelled around. Returned to Glasgow on the quiet had Amy at a private clinic. Amy's nationality had to be Scottish. That was one thing she wanted for her. She registered and tried to care for her. After two weeks she decided to give her up she had no idea what she was doing. She had read book after book but she couldn't handle it. She had no support, she had told no one. 2 weeks after that Missy handed over everything. All the pictures except one. Stuff she had bought and extracted a promise from the adoption worker that she was going to a family who would cherish her above everything else and also keep her name as Amy. Incidentally, unbeknownst to her it was the same name as Alice picked - which she had found really weird and partly scary. She had kissed Amy's head one more time and handed her over. Wished her a long and happy life. Amy had cried as she was taken away. Bawled. Missy had too. But she just didn't feel capable of looking after her. She didn't stay in one place too long and it wasn't fair to drag he along when Missy was going into meltdown. She wanted her to have a settled life. With roots.

She had went back to America trying to forget she had given her child away. After a month she came back and acted normal. She and Karl made up and life was ok again. Then she got the call of Shauna that Lexi had been in touch, Danny had 'died' well…. . So the three of them had flew straight over and focused on her friend. Then of course Alice had started saying stuff in anger. Saying she wasn't capable of real love - she had just gave her daughter away pretty much for those reasons! That is what had hurt. Sure Andy had said that sort of thing to her but it had been giving the child away which had been the real reasons why she had reacted in that manner. Acted so….emotionally. She bottled it up though. Like she always did made up with Alice but the words had never left her. After the words she made a decision there and then to never have kids and to never get in touch with Amy. Her best friend had shown her she wasn't capable of real love and Amy deserved better than having a mother who couldn't love her! All that changed though after Ryan's birth and she realised that she could show a child love.

She exhaled. Would she ever find her? If she did she wouldn't blame her if she smacked her in the mouth! If she was anything like her Amy would do it too. And if she was like her father? Well she would be a liar among a bunch of a whole other things which Missy didn't wanna think about! Her eyes had been hazel at birth. A mixture of her brown and his green. Her hair was auburn which must have came from his side. She covered her eyes lost in thought. She should have stuck it out. Told her friends! She shouldn't have ran away. Now she had a kid out there who for all she knew could be dead. No one knew where she was and she was impossible to find. For all Missy knew Amy was running all over the world trying to escape her problems the way she had!

And now she had to try and tell Danny. She was a private person. Didn't wear her feelings on show. Didn't broadcast her problems to the world. She kept this stuff all buried deep inside and dealt with it that way.

"Hey." a soft voice said. She jumped.

"Whoa Miss you ok?" Danny asked as she looked up. "You sat here looking intense since I arrived. You didn't even hear me pull up!"

Missy nodded.

"I haven't really took you into consideration throughout all of this." he murmured.

"What are you…..?" she said. Pulled back to reality completely.

"The way you ran out of Amie's room earlier. It's affecting you isn't it? Well of course it is Danny!" he chided himself. "And then I go and lay my problems on you. I mean she's the daughter you haven't got and I've just ignored that completely!"

He couldn't have made her feel guiltier if he tried! "No Danny…."

"Look it's true Miss and I'm sorry!"

Missy stayed quiet.

"Miss?" he questioned.

"Are you finished interrupting me?" she asked angrily.

"Do I do that?"

"Often and it's annoying!" she told him.

"Sorry." he said contritely.

"Look I'm sorry too, I'm on edge coz of a whole load of stuff and…." she trailed off.

"Talk to me then Miss. It's what I'm here for!" he coaxed.

What if he hated her though? She had to tell him!. "Look Danny, I have kept something from you. Something big. Sit down please."

She finally climbed from the truck and guided him to the veranda stairs. He looked at her worried. His green eyes cloudy.

"I want you to know I didn't keep it from you coz of you. It's all about me. I was messed up about it for a long time and…..I just couldn't tell anyone. Not even you. I'm sorry but I was so scared it would change how you saw me and I didn't want you to stop loving me coz by this point I loved you so much! I thought that if we split up I didn't know what I would do."

"Miss your really scaring me. Can you just tell me?"

"I just need you to promise me one thing. That if anything happens to me you need to keep on looking for her."

"Looking for who?" he asked confused.

"My daughter." she said softly.

The colour slowly drained from Danny's face. He went into complete shock. Then it began to change slowly - to anger.

"It took you 14 years to tell me you had a kid? You lied to me?"

"I didn't lie to you Danny.. You never asked if I had kids." she told him.

His face went red. "Well excuse me! Miss do you have kids?"

"Yes I have 2. A girl and a boy. You happen to know our son. Not my daughter."

"God 14 years later! Did Alice or Shauna know?"

She shook her head. "No one knows about her. Only me."

"So you lied to all of us?" he fumed.

"Danny this was my business. No one else's!"

"We're your family! Family don't keep massive secrets like this from one another!"

"You know fine well how I thought about family Danny so don't pull the family secrets crap on me!"

"You still don't trust me not to hurt you do you Miss?"

"Danny please understand I didn't…."

"Did you lie when you said the only person you loved was me?" He had so many questions whizzing around his brain.

"Dammit stop interrupting me!" she yelled. "Can I at least finish a sentence?" she was breathing heavily.

"Did you lie then?" he asked disregarding her statement.

"No I didn't Danny. I wouldn't lie about that. It would be an unnecessary lie!"

"Did you love her father? I'm guessing it's Karl."

"No - to both." she stayed silent at his expectant look.

"Well Miss?" he asked,

"No. I refuse to tell you. The ONLY person I will tell is her if I find her. No one else needs to know. Not you, Not Shauna…."

He looked at her incredulous. "God is it James?"

She stood up and clenched her fists. "You BASTARD Danny! How could you even think I'd betray my best friend in that manner never mind say it to me? How dare you insult me like that!"

"Coz your with me!" he spat in return.

She took a step back like he physically hit her, her eyes were angry. "So we're back to this?"

"Look Miss I'm sorry you got to know I didn't mean it!"

"You never do Danny and yet once again you throw these words at me like barbs!"

"You kept secrets from me! Still are!"

"It was mine to keep! It happened well before us. Id didn't have to tell you!" decided to do some hurting of her own. Not that it would. He probably wouldn't even be bothered! Pulled off her wedding ring. "And what happens AFTER us you don't have to know either!"

She began to feel her flight feeling. The one that told her to get on a plane and run. She couldn't. She had Ryan to think about.

"I thought you were passed running away Miss!" he interpreted the look on her face.

"I thought you were passed saying stuff to hurt me. Guess we were both wrong!" She fumed.

"We can't be together while your keeping secrets Miss!"

She handed him her ring. "Fine with me!"

**A/N2 ok people sorry about the lack of update and reviewing been so busy. tbh im not happy with anything i am writing atm urg! nt gonna complain 2 u so thanks 4 reading x**


	33. Trouble

Missy was in the house. Putting bricks in a wheelbarrow. That's it Miss. Physical labour will get rid of the heartbreak your feeling. She wasn't so sure of the validity of that statement but she was willing to try anything! The hurt that was cascading over her felt like it was never ending. So she lied to herself and kept going. She moved quickly and surely. Danny had climbed into the truck. Probably returning to hospital to be with Amie. God she was such an idiot. If she hadn't told him everything would have been fine. But no she opens her mouth and tells him and he completely flips out! Worst thing was what were the chances of her actually finding her daughter. Zippo. I mean she had a private investigator looking for 7 years. If they couldn't find her then nobody could!

'_Miss you shouldn't be working like this so soon after your surgery. It's been less than 5 weeks.' _an internal voice nagged her.

'Shut up I'm busy!" Missy replied.

'_What if your heart packs in?'_

"It's already broken so who cares?"

'_Right I'm sorting this!'_

A few minutes later Missy's phone rang. She pulled it out. Shauna.

"Thank you!" she muttered. Connected the call.

"Hello Shay."

"Miss I had the weirdest feeling that you are doing something that you shouldn't!"

"Like?" Missy asked innocently.

"That's the thing with you it could be anything. But no doubt after the crash it'll be moving stuff or maybe murdering someone for Amie?"

"Shay I promise I feel fine." Missy assured.

"I knew it! Stop what your doing right now!"

"Make me!" Missy fumed.

"Miss what's wrong?"

"Nothing I'm fine!" Missy replied.

Shauna stayed quiet for a second.

"What Shauna?" Missy asked exasperated.

"I'm thinking. When something was wrong with Alice she said fine. When stuff was bothering you, you always said ok."

"Christ Shay I'm ok!" Dammit! She tricked her.

"I knew it!" Shauna laughed.

Miss exhaled. "I never could lie to you two when I was growing up."

"Ok now we have that covered spill everything to Auntie Shauna!"

"Look Shay…..I…..I have a child."

"Well you're a bit late with that Miss. I sorta noticed Ryan you know. He's kinda hard to miss!"

"No Shay." she said quietly. "I have a daughter too. She's 21."

Shauna stayed quiet.

Ok now she had pissed off her best friend too! "It's ok Shauna! I understand that you don't wanna talk to me again!" Missy said quickly.

"No Miss, we knew!" Shauna yelped.

Missy had already disconnected the call by then. And turned her phone off. Set to work harder and faster then before.

Way to go Miss. Just alienate everyone around you! She tossed a rock hard towards the wheelbarrow.

"Whoa, you there on fast forward! Slow down there before you give yaself a hernia. Or fall down or something!" Amy drawled.

"I'm busy!" Missy said dryly.

"Fine do yourself an injury. Don't blame me if I can't help you and you sorta wither in pain. I could have helped you if you were a dog or cat but your human so your pretty much stuffed!" Amy told her.

"I wouldn't need help! I'm fine by myself!"

Amy grabbed a hard hat and walked into the living room.

"How about I take that one. It's overflowing." Amy suggested.

Missy shrugged. Amy picked the wheelbarrow up. Groaned. "Christ is there rocks….." Looked down at the barrow. "Never mind"

She emptied it outside and walked back inside.

"I think a lot like that too you know. Being alone is good. Safe." Amy told Missy when she went back in.

"You're a bit young to be cynical." Missy murmured. Tossed rocks into the empty barrow.

"Not cynical. Just realistic. Why rely on anyone when you have yourself?"

"Amen to that!" Missy whispered. She had took the chance and relied on people. Now the only person who cared about her was her 12 year old son and she hadn't told him her secret yet!

Daniel walked into the house. He looked into the living room as he passed. His and Amy's eyes met and held for a secret. Missy had to suppress a 'awww'. she smiled. This was cute! Daniel meanwhile walked into the kitchen and Amy got back to work like nothing had happened. Her cheeks were slightly red though.

"I see a certain young man had caught your eye. He is cute I must say." Missy whispered.

"I hadn't noticed!" Amy lied. Took the second full wheelbarrow out.

Daniel stopped her. Handed her his water and took the wheelbarrow from her. Smiled at her as he came to retrieve his water. She smiled back automatically. She handed it over and his hand brushed hers innocently. She felt the contact right down to her toes. Having to escape she turned to go back into the living room. Daniel left and Amy saw Missy grinning at her like an idiot.

"Don't look at me like that!" Amy hissed. "We are friends! I helped him through a tough time."

Missy eyebrows raised. Like father like son! "I'm not looking at you in any way." Missy said innocently. "Look Daniel is a lovely boy….well man I suppose. Wow where did the time go? Anyway I think you and he are…..well suited!" Missy said.

"I annoy him and he infuriates me!" Amy told her simply.

"Hate is the first sign of love!" Missy said seriously.

Amy sighed in frustration.

"You could do a lot worse you know. He's a lovely guy and you are too!"

Amy wasn't a good person. Far from it! "What a lovely guy?" she drawled.

Missy smiled at her reply. "Just go with Amy. Don't fight it. It only gets worse!" Missy knew this from experience.

"There is nothing to fight so just drop it!" Amy fumed.

"Okay, don't get your knickers in a knot!" Missy backed off. She'd learn the hard way. Like she had with Danny.

They worked in a companionable silence. Missy was red hot and sweating. She was already wearing a vest top. She had to keep her tracksuit bottoms on in case of sharp stones and wood. Any other time she'd be wearing shorts. Short shorts! "I'm gonna grab a drink. You want one? Coke? Orange? Saline IV?"

"Saline IV." Amy replied looking at her.

Miss looked uncomfortable "Ok so I don't have one of those." Missy said.

"Why offer then?" Amy said cockily.

"Coz no one ever said yes to that before!" Missy told her in a get real voice.

"Well if you don't have it don't offer it!" Amy told her simply.

Missy made a face. "I'll get you some vinegar and tell you it's coke!" she muttered.

"I LOVE that one. Did it to my friends once." Well not he friends more like some foster siblings she hated. She had killed herself laughing. Till her foster father nearly killed HER for doing it! "Anything will do!" she said coldly. Grabbed the wheelbarrow and took it outside. Shook her head to clear it. Missy meanwhile walked into the kitchen to sort the drinks. It was extra hot in here. The roof was a sheet of tarpaulin in case of rain. It made the kitchen like a sweat box. Sweat trickled down her face and down her face. She felt her face slowly getting hotter and redder by the second.

(X)

As Missy was returning with the drinks she seen something underneath the rubble. She recognised Shauna and James. She placed the drinks on a table and went down on her haunches. Pushed the rubble and dust until she unearthed a picture. It had been the final picture of them, all 6 of them together that is. Alice was beside Danny. He had his arm around her. Both looked deliriously happy. Shauna and James too were smiling into the camera. She and Karl were there too. She had been planning something and looking back you could tell just by looking at her. Later she and Alice had ambushed Shauna and James with buckets full of cold water with ice on the veranda. James and Shauna had been sat by the window and she and Alice had opened it and they chucked it over them. As Shauna had turned. Missy stopped laughing long enough to ask Alice.

"Run?"

"Oh yeah!" had came Alice's reply. Then they ran like hell. Shauna vowing revenge with every step she squeaked behind them. She sat on the sofa and looked at the picture.

"Hey you ok Miss?" Amy asked walking in. saw her troubled face. Her cloudy sad eyes. She walked over.

"Whose them people?" Amy asked. Sat on the sofa beside her.

"Danny you know. His wife Alice who you might remember."Amy looked at her. "I see her in Daniel and Amie. Especially Amie."

Missy nodded. "Then there is me and my then boyfriend Karl." Pointed to Shauna. "She is mine and Alice's best friend Shauna. Her husband James."

"You were all really close huh?" Amy asked.

Missy nodded. "When Alice died…." She stared at the picture. "It was a hard time. I really miss her. She's here in her kids but I see their dad in them a lot. I just wish she could come back and then everything could go back to how it was."

"You and Danny are having a rough time?"

Missy shook her head. Lied.

"I know about these things. Something feels off." She learned while living with her aunt when to stay away from them. She had a sixth sense when it came to arguments.

Missy smiled. "I knew I liked you!"

It was Amie's turn to shake her head. "You don't know me."

Missy looked at her nit didn't push her to expand on her comment. "Anyway yeah, me Alice and Shauna were all best friends since we were 6."

They heard a noise and both looked up at the first time. Danny stood between them with his hands in his pockets. Both she and Amy were startled for a moment.

"You ok Amy?" Danny asked.

"Yeah." she answered with a smile. "How is your Amie?"

"Sleeping." he answered.

Missy who had returned to work had listened intently. The wheelbarrow was full and Missy picked it up.

"I'll…." Danny started.

"Dare!" Missy warned. Her eyes dark with a unspoken threat.

He went to take it so she emptied the rocks on the floor at his feet. Tossed the wheelbarrow and walked away.

Danny looked at Amy who was bent over picking rocks up. Her back was to them.

"Sorry you shouldn't have to see that!" Danny murmured.

"See what? My back was turned."

He smiled. "Thanks."

She nodded. "I'm good here if you have….somewhere to go. Maybe people to see." she hinted.

"Yeah. I got to get back to Amie." he declared.

Amy tutted. "Ok whatever!"

Daniel appeared from behind his dad.

"Amy can I borrow you?"Amy gave him a funny look. "I'll see you two later." Danny murmured and left.

"For surgery."

Her eyes widened.

"Not on you!" he told her.

She grinned. "I knew you would need me eventually!" she crowed. "is it too much for you Daniel?"

She took her hat off and walked towards him.

"Yeah I need someone who can take down my notes." he said dryly.

She froze and glared at him.

"Joke!" he laughed putting his hands up in a surrender gesture.

"I knew!" she said dismissively.

"I'm gonna do a surgery and I thought you might wanna help. Working with a genius like me can only help you!"

"Genius?" she scoffed.

He made a face. "I just thought, it wouldn't do you no harm. Since your doing a vets degree too you know."

She frowned. "Why would you wanna help me? You hate me. I seem to remember telling me to stay out of your surgery."

They walked in the surgery. "Amy." he said on a breath. "I'm really, grateful for the pep talk you gave me about my little sister." pulled on some green scrubs. "I was cracking up and you helped me." took a step forward and reached for her hand. "I guess what I'm really trying to say is thank you." released her hand. "Your still a pain in the neck though!" he added. "But your tolerable I suppose."

They were stood at the sink washing their hands, she peeked over at her from the corner of her eyes. Smiled at him. "No bother. And by the way, I still hate you too!"

"Good." he said with a laugh. "Lets get this animal sorted."

**A/N ok a danny missy angry chapter and amy and daniel seem to be getting closer x**


	34. She Knows

Missy was tossing wood and rubble in skip. It was hot, thirsty dirty work. She was breathing hard. She wiped her brow to stop sweat from running into her eyes, she only succeeded in adding more dirt to her forehead.

Danny rounded the corner and saw her wrestling with a sheet of plywood that was as tall as her.

"C'mon move!" she hissed and wiggled it. "Got ya!" she crowed when it began to move slowly.

Danny took in her flushed and sweat coated face.

"Miss?"

"Go away! I don't wanna talk to you!" tossed the wood in the skip with a grunt. Rubbed her hands together to rid herself of the dust. Walked over and picked up a huge rock.

Right this time the woman was going too far! Danny thought. That rock was far too heavy for her to carry! He walked over and tried to take the rock from her. She yanked it towards her and he yanked it back. They both glared petulantly like a pair of five year olds.

"Let go!" he told her.

"I had it first!" she hissed. "Get your own!" she yanked it towards her hard.

He pulled it back towards him and it slipped from her grasp. It tumbled from his also and landed on her foot.

She swore profusely. Was stood on one foot. "You IDIOT!" she yelled hopping to sit on the lip of the veranda.

"Miss." he said apologetically.

"Go away Danny, just GO AWAY!" she fumed as she unlaced her trainer.

"You should have been wearing work boots."

She glared at him. "If you hadn't try to grab a freaking rock from me it wouldn't have fell!" she yelled.

He exhaled. "I just came to see if you wanted to come see Amie."

"Not now." she said softly. Surveying her foot. Seeing if there was any major damage. Tried to wiggle her toes.

He felt anger rise at her dismissive words and tone. "O so now your looking for your real daughter Amie doesn't matter anymore? Is that it Melissa?"

Missy froze and raised her head slowly. The look she gave him would stop 18 wheeler trucks in an instant. Her breathing turned erratic. He had never seen her so angry before.

"I'm warning you Daniel. Leave me alone NOW!" she said calmly.

"Well it's true isn't it?" he asked shoved his hands in his pockets.

Missy was on her feet in an instant. Winced and rested her weight on her uninjured one. Her fists were clenched. "No actually that isn't true! I was gonna finish this as the men are coming with an empty skip tomorrow. THEN I was going to shower as I'm covered in dust and mud. THEN I was gonna go see Amie!" she was breathing audibly. "How dare you even imply that I don't love her like she's my own child! That I'd forget her or any of them!" Sat down loosened the laces on her trainer so she could put it back on. "So I repeat Daniel leave me alone!"

"You know what Miss fine! I'm sick of living on your emotional rollercoaster!"

"No one made you Danny!" She spat

"I thought being with you was worth it!"

"Well obviously you were wrong!"

"Why did you ruin us Miss? Keeping secrets from me!"

"Danny it was my business!" she was looking at him now.

"I'm your husband!" he stressed.

"I told you didn't I?" she asked. Pulled her trainer on roughly and winced again. Her foot throbbed with intensity. She tied her laces slack and returned to work limping slightly.

"That might be broken. You should go to hospital."

"Don't pretend to care Danny! I can take care of myself. I've done it long enough!"

He saw her get breathless after lifting a rock which shouldn't have bothered her. Felt fear at what might happen if she pushed herself too far. "Miss it's only been a month since your operation."

"That isn't your concern Daniel." she fumed. "Just think if I keel over you won't have to deal with me anymore!" she added muttering. She dropped her rock into the skip and leant against it catching her breath.

"Right that's it!" he walked over and hoisted her over his shoulder.

"Danny!" she shrieked. "What you….Dammit put me down!" she squirmed.

He carried her to a hut and tossed her onto a bed. "Stay here!" he demanded.

"I'll break out if you lock me in!" she warned.

"Dammit Miss don't do this to me!" he pleaded. He couldn't lose her!

"Do what? You don't care about me. All you do is score points!"

"Missy that isn't true. Fair enough I lose my temper but I'll always lo…."

"No Danny I don't wanna hear it!" she interrupted.

He sat on the bed beside her and she scooted away. Knew that him being near to her, on a bed of all places wasn't the best environment for her to think clearly.

"You know what I'm like Miss!" he told her softly.

"Yeah and stupidly I stayed. I thought that you might have changed. that you might understand why I kept something this big from you! It's not the easiest thing to live with never mind admitting it to the people you love!"

"Missy I want us to be together. I don't want us to be apart!"

"And my secret?" she challenged.

He frowned.

"Exactly. You want all this on your terms! I don't want you to know!"

"Why? Is it so wrong?"

She exhaled. "Just leave it Danny!"

"Was it coz you were…you know….attacked?"

"No Danny. It was all consensual so don't worry!" she told him softly.

"Miss I don't understand."

"Look Danny you don't need to know. None if it matters!" she told him. Needing him to let it go.

"You worried incase he finds out you gave his kid away and comes after you? It's not like I'm gonna go looking."

"It wouldn't happen anyway. Last I heard he was dead."

"So why then?" he asked coldly.

She glared at him. Sick of the attitude. "You sure you wanna know so badly?"

He looked at her wearily. He was pushing her and she was now pushing back. Never a good thing.

"Be sure Danny coz when you do find out I can't take it back. Are you sure you want me remembering how he made me feel?"

"Miss." he wavered. Wanting to know but didn't want her remembering something that obviously hurt her.

"Not a no then!" she spat. "Fine! The man who I had a child with…..was Alice's brother!"

Danny's face turned white. She's say he was in shock but he looked numb. Way past shock.

"Alice doesn't have a brother!" he squeaked.

"yeah I know." she exhaled. "Look he showed up. We got really close. I thought I was developing feelings and that he was the one. He told me his parents were dead. Said his dad's name was Rowan Collins. Had a lot of intimate detail that he couldn't have known unless he knew him. He even mentioned that he had a sister called Alice. First thing I did was ring Shauna. I mean I couldn't come to Alice with this. She'd freak out! And you and her had Daniel and Lexi was just getting over her chemo. Me and Shauna grilled him. He seemed to be genuine but Shauna wanted to check him out. Meanwhile we had grown closer and closer I had fell for every single one of his lines at this point. He knew exactly what to say. Later we found out that he wasn't Alice's brother but she did have one. An illegitimate man called Rhys. He died on the oil rigs. He had got close to her real brother and that's how he knew everythong. Then found out that Alice had this major accident and had compensation and stuff. Decided to see if he could get close to her. He wasn't related to her in any way. And me, well I was a means to an end." she exhaled. Looked at the floor and shook her head. "He humiliated me! I mean I thought he was this wonderful person and he was a con man and I fell for everything. If something seems to good to be then it usually is!"

"Did he know about your daughter?"

He shook his head. "ironically he too died on the rigs. A few months after we rumbled him. Or that's what I heard."

"So you were alone?" he asked softly.

"I'm used to it Danny. I travelled. Couldn't tell Shauna what I did. How I fell for him." she crossed her arms. "Why do you always do this to me? Make me remember things that I would much rather forget! You make me feel like I have to tell you everything. You can't not know every aspect of my life. It's suffocating! I'm so happy that your life has been a perfect bed of roses but guess what mine hasn't. Sometimes I wish that I could go back and erase the whole damn thing! The only good thing I have ever had in my life is Ryan and the kids. God I dunno how I survived so long!"

"Miss…." he tried to comfort her realising that he had hurt her. Pushing her into admitting something she wasn't ready to face.

"Don't say your sorry Danny, coz you always are after the fact. Let me ask you something. Have I ever kept anything from you that has affected you or the kids directly? Her father didn't affect you and it didn't affect them bit it affected me!" she fumed.

He stayed silent knowing that her statement was true. "So your daughter. What did you name her? When was she born?"

"She is a few months younger than your Amie and ironically I named her…" she paled. "Oh my god!" she whispered as realisation dawned. "She's been here the last two months and I had no idea!" Missy's head was reeling. It couldn't be this easy could it? Not after 7 years!

"Miss?" Danny repeated.

"Amy…she's….she's mine!" she gasped. Put her hand over her mouth lost in thoughts. She tried to order them but it was an impossible task.

"What as in…Amy?" he asked in disbelief.

She nodded, not really listening. What was she gonna do? She had to try and find out about her she didn't wanna come across as creepy or…..

"Miss this is weird." he told her. "I mean I…..the plane…"

Missy paled. God he was right. He had saved her life when she was tiny.

"So you gonna get proof? Tell her? Wait?" Danny suggested.

She frowned. "Um….I have no idea. I just need to let the thought sink in a little bit. I'm fairly certain though. The more I think about her the more I realise we're alike. We even look a little alike."

Danny sat and thought. Something had irritated him in the living room. When they had been sat on the sofa they had looked up at the same time and something had hit him. Their posture was the same. They looked up and their faces had the same startled expression. God Amy's smile was even Missy's. How could he have been so blind?

"Look Miss we'll sort it together ok?" he murmured.

"We?" Missy asked. "Do you see your ring on my finger anymore?"

"Missy c'mon!" Danny said.

"Can't you see Danny? I told you. In my OWN time. If there is ever a situation where you think there is something you don't know about me you won't let it go!"

"It's just coz I love you. Usually it's only because something is bothering you." he told her.

"I know I don't know every aspect of your life. It doesn't bother me. Not because I don't care or don't love you because I trust that if there is stuff I need to know you'll tell me when your ready I just wasn't ready yet!"

It annoyed him that she was speaking to him like this. Throwing away what they had! "She is a kid Miss! God you could have…"

"Say it and I'll leave Danny. I swear to God I will go and you'll never see me again!"

Danny looked at her intently. "Don't threaten me Miss!"

"No threat Danny I mean it!" She told him seriously.

"You wouldn't leave Ryan!" he countered.

"I know!" she admitted coldly. Let him reach the inevitable conclusion.

"Like hell!" he fumed.

"Don't say it then!" she warned.

"What? That you could have done the same to him. Or more like you did!" he yelled. She wasn't threatening him! Let her try and take his son!

Missy's fists clenched. She glared at him. "Goodbye Daniel!"

"Bye Melissa!" he said dismissively.

She jogged down the steps from the hut. Went to the house. Quickly wrote a note for the kids. Wrote one for Ryan and put them in sealed envelopes. Wrote in Ryan's she'd be back soon. She had to get out of there. Left Danny the trucks knowing he would be going to see Amie and Daniel might need the other truck to go into town or something. She had no idea if she would have calmed down enough to return tonight. She walked outside and went to the shed. Pulled out Lexi's old Mo-ped. Christ this thing was 15 years old. It'd do the job. She couldn't find the helmet but at the moment she didn't care she just had to get out of here. Climbed don and started the engine. It started after a few tries. She saw Danny approaching slowly. She didn't wanna talk to him. She revved and sped off leaving a dust trail behind her.

**A/N okay amy's dad WAS dupposed to be alice's brother but then i realised that would make daniel her cousin and jst ewwww so i had to change it and Missy has sped off wot next hmmm?**


	35. Disbelief

**A/N ook people i am seriously unhappy with this chapter and have considered removing it completely but it is sorta integral to the next chapters... :( so please ignore the rubbishness. i have tried to rewrite it but alas nothing makes it better :( **

Danny returned to the hospital. Sat with Amie. She woke up again, wasn't the best company. She was full of pain but refused any strong pain relief. They tried to give her pethadine but Amie isn't stupid. She knew it was a derivative of morphine and refused it. So Danny sat helplessly and watched while his daughter tried to fight relentless pain. He grew angrier by the second. At Amie for being too proud to give in. For Missy for not being here to support him, for ruining their relationship and for constantly keeping things from him. Angry at Alice for not taking care of Amie properly and for not taking care of Zoey either. He was just angry at everything at the minute!

A few hours passed. Ryan and EJ had turned up then promptly fell asleep in their chairs. All the excitement of the last week had caught up with them.

"I best get them home." Lexi said. Yawned widely.

"Look Lex, it's best I warn you. Missy has gone. Left leopards Den, and who knows when she will be back."

"What?" Lexi asked shocked.

"On your mo-ped." he added.

Lexi squashed a kernel of worry. That hadn't been m.o.t'ed in forever! "What did you say to her dad?" she asked and exhaled tiredly.

Danny frowned.

"Only you make her that angry dad!"

"Look Lex I just need you to make up an excuse for Ryan tonight. I'll sort everything tomorrow." he told her.

"What as in finding her and bringing her home?" Lexi asked.

"No as in divorce proceedings." he muttered.

"NO WAY!" she exclaimed loudly then glanced over at the kids.

"NO Lex, she was right. Marriage is far harder to un do then just living together. We should have just stayed as we were. I can't live with her when she is like this. It's like living on a knife edge wondering what's coming next it's just too hard!" shook his head. Rubbed his eyes. He was just too tired to be dealing with all this stuff right no. He didn't do his best thinking when he was tired.

"Dad just think about this huh? You love each other!"

"Lex love isn't enough sometimes!"

Lexi decided to stay quiet. Knew she was in no position to be talking to him about divorce seeing as she was going through one herself. "If your sure this is what you want dad!"

"I don't want this Lex. I love her but….there's a load of stuff I thought was sorted and it turns it isn't and never will be. I can't live with that hanging over me!"

"I'll tell him she is staying at the hospital with Amie tonight. If he asks why she hasn't been home then I'll say she went to the shops beforehand or something."

"Thanks Lex." he said gratefully.

"I still think that you should find her and work this out. You and her have been at your best when your together. So find a way dad. She needs Miss more than you think." Lexi pointed to Amie. "Missy had been here since she was barely more than a baby herself. She can't lose another mum. Not to mention Ryan being shuffled between two houses. Look at what it did to Zoey." she finished on a whisper. Her eyes glistened. She swallowed thickly.

Danny stood up and pulled Lexi to him. Hugged her tightly.

"Lexi…." What could he say? "She's like you. Tough , thinks on her feet." he murmured.

Lexi didn't answer. She knew the truth, missing children. After the first 24 hours they didn't hold out much hope. After a week the police didn't hold out ANY hope of finding them alive. Zoey had been missing a month! "I'll get the boys home dad."

"Ok I'll try and get home later."

"Stay with Amie dad. Missy will probably be at home anyway."

"I wouldn't count on that Lexi!" he told her seriously.

Lexi roused Ryan and EJ. "C'mon boys. We'll stop off at the pizza place then head home."

They nodded and yawned.

"See ya dad." Ryan said.

"See ya son." Danny said. Got up and gave him a quick hug. No way was Missy taking him away. No freaking way!

(X)

Missy was foaming. Who on earth did Danny think he was? Watched as the African scenery passed her in a blur. She had tried to warn him not to push her and he ignored her and did it anyway! How dare he bring their son into it? Take pot shots at her in that way? It was pretty obvious he enjoyed hurting her! And she wasn't putting up with it anymore. At her angry thoughts the speedometer began to move up slowly.

(X)

Lexi arrived at home. As the truck pulled to a stop she spoke to the boys.

"Right kids. Quick shower then bed."

"Mum we're not babies!" EJ moaned.

"Yes you are my baby boy."

Ryan sniggered.

"Dunno why your making faces Ry. You know your Missy's one and only. That makes it worse!"

Ryan stuck his tongue out at her.

"O so mature little bro!" she drawled and cuffed his arm softly. "Shower then bed. Both of you!" she said sternly.

"Where is mum actually?" Ryan asked. The house was dark. The light was burning down in the surgery.

"She's staying with Amie tonight." Lexi told him.

Ryan nodded.

They walked into the house. Lexi went into the kitchen.

"I get first dibs on the shower!" EJ declared.

"That's fine." Ryan said. He knew where the stop cock was for the water.

"Don't bother mate!" EJ warned.

"Or what?" Ryan asked cockily.

EJ clenched his fists to show him.

"You can try Ethan!" Ryan told him coldly.

"I wouldn't have to try Ryan!" EJ said taking a step forward. Ryan did too.

"KIDS!" Lexi snapped.

They glared at each other then backed off. EJ stalked off down to the shower.

"Sorry Lex." Ryan murmured.

Lexi shook her head. "Your boys." she murmured. Rubbed her eyes tiredly.

"Go to bed Lex." he offered. "We won't stay up all night." he promised.

"I'm good Ry."

The phone rang it had just been reconnected that morning. Ryan picked it up.

"Hello Leopards Den."

"Hello." A polite voice said. "May we please speak to Alexis Bell?"

Alexis? He wondered. "O you mean Lexi! What about?"

"Will you please inform her that the police are on the phone please."

"Sure. Lex the police are on the phone. They wanna talk to you!"

Lexi ran to the phone. Ryan walked off. Worried about the implications of the call.

"Hello!" she said anxiously. "Is this about my daughter Zoey Bell?"

"No Mrs Bell."

Her shoulders slumped and she felt tears rise and blur her vision. "Yes." she murmured defeated.

"We can see from records that you own a silver mo-ped with the registration…." he rattled off the reg.

"Yes." she answered. Not understanding what he was talking about.

"We had a call this afternoon from a Daniel Trevanion reporting it stolen."

Stolen? Oh yeah Missy had took it. Her brother must have noticed it was gone and thought the worst.

"No no it's fine. We know who has it. Why you phoning?"

"Miss that vehicle has been involved in a serious RTA. The driver was wasn't wearing a helmet was driving way too fast died instantly. They impacted a tree violently."

Lexi froze. Suspended in time for a moment. The information they gave her refused to penetrate the fog that had suddenly descended.

"Look the driver wasn't carrying any ID. Could you come down and identify them. Since you know who took the bike?"

"Can you just give me a brief description please?" Lexi asked. Heart pounding.

"Miss they impacted a tree. Any description we give you may not be very accurate."

Lexi cleared her throat. "Look about the ID is tomorrow ok?"

"That is fine Miss. If you come down to Johannesburg Police Station and ask For Djama Zumba."

"Ok I will." she said mechanically and put the phone down. Picked it up again. Dialled her dad's number. It went to his voicemail.

"Get home dad!" she said in monotone. Then went down to the huts. Saw Ryan and EJ awake playing on the Kinect.

"Sorry Lex. We'll go to bed now." Ryan said with his oh aren't I charming grin.

"Just go to sleep please boys. I'll see you both tomorrow."

"Night mum." EJ said.

"Night Lex." Ryan echoed.

(X)

Lexi sat on the veranda with her head in her hands. The phone rang again and she ignored it. One more person gave her bad news and she was literally gonna snap. She was sick of her whole life at the moment. It rang incessantly. It annoyed her. Stalked over and picked it up.

"Hello. Lexi Trevanion." she said harder than she wanted to.

"Lex you ok? It's Shauna."

"Yeah I'm fine. Long day." she murmured. No way was she telling her about Miss!

"ok. Lex can you put Miss on for me. I keep phoning her and it's going to voicemail. I pissed her off earlier. Thought I'd giver her time to cool off before I rang back. You know what's she like. You can't talk to her sometimes!

"She isn't here right now Shauna." Covered her eyes with her hand.

"You sure you ok Lex? Have you got a cold or something . Your voice sounds funny."

"No Shauna I'm fine." she tried to perk up her voice. She REFUSED to tell her. She couldn't! at least not til she knew 100 percent sure. That's why she wasn't telling her dad either. He'd freak out!

"How's the clean up operation going? Just so you know I'll keep you on the phone for a bit til Miss shows up." Shauna said with a laugh.

"Look Shauna I can't talk right now." she whispered sounding strangled.

"Lexi?" Shauna asked. Knowing something was up.

She exhaled. "Can you ring back tomorrow?"

Lexi tell me what's wrong!"

"I'll tell you tomorrow!" she pleaded.

"is it Zoey? Oh god it is and I'm upsetting you!" Shauna beat herself up.

"it isn't Zoey." inhaled a shaky breath. What the policeman said was finally beginning to hit her fully. She'd put the phone down but Shauna would only call her dad and then she would be in trouble!

"Tell me what's upsetting you Lex."

"Please I'll tell you tomorrow!" she repeated. A lone tear fell. She swallowed a sob.

"Please Lexi. I'll worry myself sick all night. It can't be that bad. Unless someone has died."

Lexi stayed quiet, her eyes were closed and she tried to calm her breathing. Moments passed and neither person spoke.

"Who Lex?" Shauna asked calmly.

"Shauna." Lexi began.

"It's Miss isn't it. Anyone else and you would have told me by now."

"Shauna." Lexi repeated.

"Tell me if she's dead Lex!" Shauna shouted.

"Look Shauna. It's believed that Miss…." Lexi exhaled. Her voice shook. "She was on my mo-ped and wasn't wearing a helmet. Hit a tree." swallowed thickly at the vision of Miss impacting filled her head. "They need someone to make an ID."

"What was that Lexi?" a voice asked from the shadows.

Her heart stopped. "Shauna I gotta go!" lexi declared. Pressed disconnect. "dad."

"Did I hear you right Lex?"Lexi looked at the ground. Nodded slightly. "The police need someone to make an identification." she whispered.

Danny stood frowning. "She isn't dead lexi. I'd know."

"I'm so sorry dad." she murmured. "I know…."

"I'd feel it!" he repeated. "I felt it with your mother. I knew the second she left. I'd know it with Missy too!"

"Maybe not dad!"

"I WOULD!" He stressed. Heart pounding.

"Look tomorrow we'll know for sure. And I'm praying this is just a mistake!"

"Why not tonight?" he whispered.

"Coz I wanted to give them time to…clean her up. She hit a tree dad!"

He paled. "I refuse to believe this!"

Lexi's tears fell. "I am so sorry dad!" she said to his retreating form.

(X)

Danny walked down to his hut. Entered and looked around. Traces of Missy were everywhere. Missy's pyjamas tossed across the back of a chair. Her side of the bed the blanket was bunched at the bottom of the bed from her being too hot in the middle of the night. Her brush and cosmetics lay haphazard on the table opposite their bed. Her towel hung over the door drying. Her slippers in the middle of the floor. He always tripped over them without fail. This room was nothing like their bedroom in the house. Up there everything had it's place.

He stripped off and pulled on some sweatpants and a t-shirt. Usually he only wore shorts as he got too hot with Missy wrapped around him. Tonight though she lay alone in a cold mortuary. Felt tears gather and forced them away. He wouldn't believe it! He would know if she died he knew he would!

'You didn't know she had a heart attack!' a mocking voice taunted. 'Your thinking about getting a divorce. Cutting ties!'

The heart attack was different. And the divorce, it would have never got to that! They would have sorted it out!

'It's the same danny!' the voice mocked. 'She's dead and you know it!'

He closed his eyes to block out the taunting voice. Closed his eyes. Missy is alive was his mantra. She just wasn't here! He couldn't believe what he was told. Missy wouldn't leave. Him or Ryan.

'Obviously she did!' the voice said finally. It's cold rationalism scared him. It nearly made him believe.

"Alice is she dead?" he whispered to the night.

Alice too was uncharacteristically quiet. He was all alone.

**A/N bleh!**


	36. Hidden

Morning came quickly. Not that Danny had slept at all. They looked tired. Discussing a course of action for a leopard Cub. Amy certainly knew her stuff. It was her making the suggestions. Imaginative ideas. He decided to leave them alone. They were getting on so much better the last few weeks.

He saw Lexi walking slowly towards the boys hut. He went over to her. Reached her at the base of the boys hut.

"I'll go ID the body." he told her quietly.

"Dad." she answered.

"I'm her husband. If it is her it's my responsibility." sometime during the night he had resigned himself to the fact that he might have lost her. He hadn't made it definite yet but he had a feeling it was only a matter of time. She hadn't returned last night. Or telephoned. "I won't hang this on you Lex. I'll ID her." he told her softly.

"ID who?" Ryan asked approaching the hut.

"Ryan." Danny started.

"Is this about the phone call you got of the police Lex?"

"Yeah." she said slowly.

"Well is it Zoey? Have they found her?"

"It isn't Zoey. Can we talk later Ry?" Lexi asked.

"Is it mum? Has she collapsed at the hospital?"

"We'll talk later Ryan!" His dad said sternly.

I'll call Shauna! She'll find out and tell me! I'm not a baby! Just tell me is it mum? he fumed. Lexi couldn't help but notice the resemblance between her brother and their dad. He had the same stubborn face that her dad wore.

Danny nodded in resignation. "It's your mum son." he had to tell him. Shauna wouldn't tell him but with her being as upset as she would be he would know. He wasn't stupid.

"Is she really ill?" he asked calmly. His brown eyes were weary.

"Go inside the hut Ryan." Danny told him softly.

"Why?" he asked suspiciously.

"Just do it!" Lexi pressed. "I'll leave you. go sort EJ."

He walked in quickly. Sat on his bed. "Tell me dad!" he said impatiently.

"Look Ryan. That phone call Lexi got last night…..Ryan." he exhaled. Frowned. "Your mother might be dead."

Ryan's eyes widened and he gasped. "What?" he whispered.

"What the hell?" an angry voice yelled.

Danny jumped.

Ryan dived off his bed.

A figure crawled from under the bed. "I don't know who you think you are Danny but lying to my son about me being dead is the lowest thing you have ever done!" Missy hissed.

"Miss?"

"Mum?"

"Yes son. Ignore your dad. I'm fine."

Ryan ran to her.

Danny stared at her. "How could you?"

"I knew it!" Danny murmured. "I knew I'd know!" Danny breathed in relief.

Missy ignored him. "Look son."

Ryan's eyes glistened and she rubbed his hair.

"Just fine. Fit as a fiddle." Smiled cockily at him. "Nothing keeps mum down. You should know that! Where do you think you get it from?"

"Why did you say that to me dad?" he asked.

"I'll have this sorted in a second." Danny assured. Rang Lexi.

"Can you please come down to the huts quickly Lexi."

5 minutes later Lexi turned up. Her eyes widened at Missy.

"Miss?" she gasped. Walked over and embraced her.

"He told you too?" Missy asked in disbelief. "What did you plan Daniel were you actually gonna bump me off when I came home?" she asked angrily.

"What you going on about Miss?" Lexi asked.

"Your dad told you I was dead too? I can't believe you'd stoop so low."

"Miss this is all my fault!" Lexi told her. "Dad told me you had gone on my mo-ped. Then the police called last night. Someone had a fatal crash. Head on collision."

"Your mo-ped got stolen while I stopped off in Jo'burg. I made my way back this morning by taxi. I didn't wanna come home last night in case I disturbed anyone."

"Why hide Miss?" Danny asked.

"I hid because I wanted to see my son without us arguing. He doesn't need to see that. I was just too tired to deal with you and it was a split second thing when I heard your voice." she said wearily. "I just didn't wanna see you or talk to you."

"Mum, dad?" Ryan asked.

"C'mon Ryan. I'll sort you and EJ some breakfast. Then you have school. I can'tt ell you how happy I am that your ok Miss. Dad tried to tell me you'd be fine but…."

"I'll come sort Ryan's breakfast." Missy offered.

"I think you and dad need to talk." Lexi suggested.

"I don't want to!" Missy said moodily.

Lexi shrugged. Ryan and Lexi walked off. Missy followed them. Walked down the stairs of the hut and headed towards the one she and Danny shared.

"Miss talk to me." he said following her.

"Go to hell!" she answered not even looking back at him.

"I lost you today Miss!"

This time she did turn. "No Danny you lost me yesterday! My emotional rollercoaster is too much for you remember?"

She carried on walking and jogged up the steps to their hut.

She grabbed her shampoo and soap. Reached for her towel. Jumped and grabbed it.

"I see your foot is fine." he murmured.

"Yeah. Thanks." she said dryly.

"So your leaving then Miss?" he asked.

"Yes!" she replied. Folded her towel and laid it across her arm.

"You taking Ryan?"

"I promised I'd never take him from you." she exhaled. "But I can't leave him either. You and I both know why!"

"Can't we just forget what we said?"

"No why should I and why should you?" she shook her head. Raised a hand and lowered it. "Look people always play emotional target practice with me. The stuff you say just gets worse and worse. And now your bringing Ryan into it. I'm very fragile when it comes to the kids Danny. I can't listen to you bringing the kids into arguments. We can't use them as weapons against each other. It just isn't fair on either of us."

"The last time this happened Ryan was 6 months old. We got through it then. We can do it again. Miss we love each other." he said softly. He walked over and put his arms around her. He felt her soften into him for a second then it was like she realised what she was doing and stopped.

"No. Go away Danny. I can't think when your like this!"

"Don't think then." he murmured.

"Just no!" she said. Shook her head. Rubbed her eyes tiredly. "Danny I didn't get much sleep last night so don't play with me like this."

"Neither did I." he admitted. "I spent most of the night trying to convince myself that you weren't dead."

She spent the night tossing in a hotel bed missing him, not that she was telling him that! She exhaled. "We can't promise that we won't do it again coz we always do. I'm sick of always saying the same stuff to you and hearing the same things in reply."

"If you don't love me anymore than we'll call it quits." he told her honestly.

"Fine I don't love you." she said too quickly. She didn't look at him when she said it either.

"Liar!"

She sat on the bed. Covered her face with her hands. "Why do you wanna be with me so badly Danny?"

"That's a stupid thing to ask. I love you." he said confused.

"Do you? Or are we just together out of habit? I know the signs it's what split me and Karl up."

"What we have is nothing compared to what you had with him so don't even go there Miss!" Danny fumed. Disliked being compared to other men she'd been with.

"Fine then. Just say we sort this out and we are blissfully happy…..and you find out there is other stuff I haven't told you!"

He froze. Then "I wouldn't care coz I have you."

"Now who's lying Danny?" she asked.

"Fine, I admit it would drive me crazy but only coz I know that you internalise bad stuff and I don't want you going through stuff like that by yourself. When you love someone you lean on them. All I know is that if you didn't wanna tell me I wouldn't push you again!" he said sincerely.

"You say that now!" she muttered cynically.

"So your willing to throw us away? What we have here. Our life? Do we mean nothing?"

She shook her head angrily. "Emotional blackmail now Danny? I am SO gone!" stood up.

He raised his hands in surrender.

"See Danny your still doing it! If things don't go the way you want you start. It's like it's automatic to you. O if I don't get my way I'll just be nasty, then if nasty doesn't work I'll turn on the emotional blackmail and she'll fold like she always does!" she said in mock mans voice.

"So what Miss? You don't want me to fight for you? To stop you?"

"What I want….no what I need is space! I have had so much stuff happen to me in the past month and would really appreciate you letting me sort it out in my head."

He thought for a second and knew she was right. Nodded slowly. Walked over to her. "You know where I am if you need me." before she could protest he pressed a quick kiss to her lips and walked away.

She closed her eyes and exhaled. That was exactly why she fell for him. He was like a bull dog when something got him. Tenacious as hell. She'd be so angry she'd wanna throttle him and then she'd say something and he's just get it say something sweet and sincere then back off.

**A/N ok people i fully intended killin missy off. i really did i even had an alternate chapter wrote where lexi and the kids r leaving the hospital and lexi sees missy cumin in on the stretcher and sort of sheilds ryan but i could kill her in 'real life' and in my story that was just too hard so i wrote this. i am truly sorry about the rubbishness of all this i just can't seem to write too well atm. u probs knew this was comin anyway. i know cloloveswah guessed :) **

**anyway thanks 4 reading x**


	37. Too Hard For All

**This song applies to the second half of the chapter.**

Claude Kelly Two Doors Down

_Stay with me. Stay with me._

_Don't let go of my hand_

_Say what I need to hear_

_Tell me that it just won't end_

_Nothing's ever gonna feel as right_

_As those summer days and nights_

_When I had you around_

_And you were only 2 doors down._

**(X)**

**2 Weeks Later**

Amie walked onto Leopards Den. She looked up at the roof. The roof she had decimated. There was a skeleton structure up there and half of the tiles had been placed on. The rest was covered with plastic. She crossed her arms and gazed at it. She should have stayed at Borneo then her dad wouldn't have to pay for a new roof for his house. If it took her a million years she was gonna pay him back every penny! That was after she paid Lexi back too. The army was willing to compensate them for some of the work. Amie wasn't sure how much. She exhaled and shook her head.

She thought about what she was wearing. Her dad had brought her white and pink adidas trainers. Her white cargo trousers and a white Lacoste t-shirt. White! She felt anything but angelic at the minute - she felt dark. Black suited her mood much more than white did!

She continued staring at the roof. Wondering if rebuilding her faith and strength was gonna be as easy as the roof. This intense feeling she had refused to leave her. She felt it on her face every second of the day.

"Doesn't look too bad huh Amie?" her dad asked walking behind her. Carrying her hospital bag.

Danny looked at Amie and wondered what was running through her mind. She stared at the roof frowning slightly.

Amie didn't look at her dad. She simply shrugged and walked up the stairs to go inside.

Danny watched her go inside. She was quiet and withdrawn. Not his Amie, she just seemed to be constantly thinking. Like she lived in her mind. When she wasn't quite she was brooding and very volatile. She could look fine then just explode the next second. So it was hours of quiet thoughtful brooding or a hair trigger temper. Everyone seemed to be on edge around her. At times you could feel the pure rage rolling off her in waves. She would have this dark look in her eyes, everyone knew that she was best left alone at these times.

"Home sweet home hey Ames?" he heard Missy say inside.

"What's left of it!" Amie shouted in reply. "Anyway you go away from me!" Amie spat harshly.

That was another problem. For the last week she had been confrontational and even aggressive towards Missy. She couldn't do right for doing wrong. If she stayed away Amie kicked off. If she came Amie kicked off. If she talked, if she didn't talk, if she smiled, didn't smile. Missy was really starting to stress about it all.

The woman in question walked from the house rubbing her face. Her eyes were pained.

"You ok Miss?" Danny asked softly.

"What have I done Danny? Why does she hate me so much?" she murmured sadly. "I dunno what to do! I don't know what she wants from me!"

"She's just confused Miss." he told her. Walked up the stairs and held her hand.

"So she takes it out on me? I can take that but not all the time. God I can't even look at her without her blasting me. She was the only one I thought would never do that to me. We had this bond and…." she exhaled shaking her head.

"Aw C'mere honey." he whispered. Pulled her close, she let him. "It'll get better."

"She blames me Danny!"

"Don't be daft Miss!"

"No Danny she does. She heard me talking about my travel stories and she wanted that. If I had kept my mouth shut then chances are she wouldn't have wanted to join the army and all this would never have happened."

In a weird way it all made sense.

"You forget Danny I know her. It's what I would have done. I would have rationalised it like that!"

"IF that is true then talk to her!" Danny stressed.

"NO way!" Missy declared. "She could end up hating me!" she panicked.

She wrapped her arms around him tighter and enjoyed the content feeling she achieved because of it. He decided now was the time to broach a subject that had been bothering him.

"Miss."

"Mmm Hmm" she answered.

"Are we ok?"

"Yeah." she murmured in reply.

"I mean…. like back together ok."

She pulled back. "O"

He nodded. Disliked that she had pulled from his embrace. This obviously wasn't gonna be good news.

Missy looked at Danny intently. He had gave her the space she needed. And now she was in his arms without wanting to strangle him. She put her hands on his shoulders. Reached up and kissed him once softly. "That answer your question?"

"No." he said playfully. Leaned in and gave her a full passionate kiss. "That answers my question."

She smiled up at him, her eyes full of love.

He decided not to ask about the wedding ring just yet. Didn't want to push his luck. If you pushed Missy she only pushed back harder and you ended up in a worse position then before. "And don't worry about Amie Miss. She'll get there."

She nodded. "I'll discuss with you about my Amy later. What I've decided to do." she murmured and kissed his cheek.

(X)

Daniel sat in the animal hospital filling out forms. He hated paperwork. He looked out of the window and saw his dad and Missy having a hug. God did they ever stop? Then again they had been abit strained the last few weeks. Hopefully with Amie home now everything could get back to normal. He decided to ask Amy if she fancied going out for her lunch with him. She was a good friend to have. He couldn't imagine working in the hospital without her. For only being a third year she was really good and knew exactly what she was talking about. And she was eager to get stuck in but also allowed him to direct her during surgeries. He was like her mentor it was good. They just complemented each other really well sometimes he'd be thinking something and she would voice the exact thing he was thinking. He smiled softly.

"Hey Amy you finished?" he called signing off some final forms.

All was quiet.

"Amy?" he yelled. Stood up. Popped his head from his office. The place was empty.

"Amy?" he walked passed the pens and heard a roaring noise behind him. He spun…..and saw Amy holding a tape recorder of lions. He put his hand on his chest. "Christ Amy! That wasn't funny. You almost gave me heart failure!"

"WE haven't had lions in here since I came!" she declared laughing. "Your face. Priceless!"

He smiled. "You finished?"

She nodded solemnly. Her eyes still twinkled with good humour. They looked decidedly familiar for a second. He got the biggest feeling of de ja vu. Shook his head.

"Daniel." she started wearily.

"Anyway I was just gonna ask if you wanted go out for lunch?" he asked heading towards his office.

She followed him in and sat opposite him her face was grave.

"I only asked if you wanted to go out for something to eat. You don't have to look like I've gave you a death sentence!" he chuckled.

"I go back to university next week." she told him quietly sadly.

"O." he answered in an equally sad tone.

She nodded. Clasped her hands together.

"Where?" he finally asked.

"Northumbria University. It's at Newcastle."

"In England!" he declared in a strangled voice.

She slowly nodded again.

"But you can't!" he yelped.

She raised her eyebrows.

"Sorry." he murmured. Realised he got carried away.

She shuffled her chair closer to him. "I'm really grateful for all the help you've gave me the last couple of weeks. It's been really great and I've learned so much. Your not as daft as you look." she whispered. The joke didn't quite reach her eyes. They still burned with a sadness that looked bone deep.

"I'm gonna miss you." he admitted. Reached over and picked up her hand. Felt bolder when she didn't yank it away.

"Me too." she said on a breath.

"So you do like me too?" he asked nervously.

"No. I hate you." she replied with a small smile. They sat in silence. He held her hand, she felt the heat from his palm seep into her. She twined their fingers tighter.

"Stay Amy. Please. Don't go!" he asked his blue eyes troubled.

"I gave to." she answered silently. Wishing she could stay. She hadn't thought this was going to hurt as much as it did. "It's my fourth year. I want to be a vet."

"I'll teach you!" he offered. Knowing full well that it wouldn't count.

She rubbed her eyes. "Daniel please don't do this! This is hard enough." she exhaled. "I don't want to go. To leave you." she admitted with a whisper. But she had to. And she knew that once she did go…. She covered her face to hide the devastation that she was sure plainly showed.

"You'll be back for Christmas." he told her. "And we'll call and text and email."

She lowered her head and shook it. "I can't come and go Daniel." she whispered. "It's be easier if…"

Daniel didn't like the finality to her tone. "You ARE coming back Amy?" he asked panicking.

She looked up at him. Saw he knew the truth in his blue eyes. Wasn't going to lie to him. "You'll forget me easily enough!"

"What?" he asked in disbelief. "Forget you? Don't you feel this chemistry between us?"

"Look your young. 23. Feelings develop easily at this age. Someone else will come along who you actually get along with." she rationalised.

"I get along with you. I want you!" he told her stubbornly.

"Daniel!" she said. He was killing her.

"Look if you don't feel the same Amy…." he trailed off.

"I…." looked at him. Felt something build in her chest. Exhaled. "You know I do."

"Look it'll be hard. Long distance always is. But we'll appreciate our time together more. I'll fly over there when I can and you can come over here. We'll find a way to make it work."

Not if he knew what she had planned to do to his family. "We can't Daniel!"

He exhaled. He didn't know whether to fight for her or to let her go. "Amy I want to get to know you better. We could have something really special. I've never felt anything this strong before."

Amy sat quietly and looked at their joined hands. She couldn't bring herself to pull her hand away. They were joined by this one small thread. She hadn't felt like this before either. To be honest the intensity of it scared her a little bit. She could just forget what she planned. They could get to know each other. Talk on the phone. Over a webcam. Maybe it could work…..

He sensed her wavering. "Give us a chance Amy." he murmured.

She looked up again and was lost in the endless blue of his eyes. He put his hand on her cheek. "We already work really well together. You know a relationship will be the same." he whispered. Kissed her once feather soft. Felt her breath catch. Her rested his forehead on hers and closed his eyes. Placed her hand on his chest. "One little kiss and my heart pounds!" he told her. "Just being near to you does that to me. I don't want to lose this. I don't want to lose you!"

Amy didn't either, she lov…Before she could finish the word panic filled her. How could she let this happen? "I can't!" she stood up. He felt the panic rolling off her in waves. She bolted from his office and out the surgery.

He didn't follow. Put his head in his hands. He was confused. Had no idea what to do.

(X)

He had no idea how long he sat there. Wondering what he said that made her react like that? He'd probably been abit full on with her. He shouldn't have said all that stuff. He just needed her to stay.

"Daniel you ok?" His dad walked in and asked him.

"Yeah dad I'm good." Except his chest felt like it was full of cement. The tightness was almost crippling. This hurt so much!

"There's a surgery pencilled in. your client had arrived." Danny reminded.

"O yeah." he said. Suddenly remembered. "Can you scrub up too dad?"

Danny frowned. "I thought you had Amy." he said confused.

"She's um….going back to uni next week." Daniel stood up stiffly left the office and walked over to the sink.

"How do you feel about that son?" Danny asked washing his hands beside him.

I don't care! Was the automatic answer. He decided to shrug instead. Decided his dad might be able to help him. Seeing as he had been happily married - twice. He must have done something right! "I like her dad. She's funny and smart and she's…she helped me through that Amie stuff. I didn't know how much I liked her till she told me she was going!" he admitted.

"You love her?" Danny asked.

Daniel made a face. "I dunno. I'm only 23. 23 is too young to be in love and settling down!" He quieted. "But I think if it was given the chance to grow and mature then who knows. She won't though. She's scared of something dad and it's making her run."

Definitely her mothers daughter! Danny thought and poor Daniel was trying to figure her out.

"She's been alone her whole life dad. Now I'm offering to stand by her. Wait. You know have a committed relationship and she running. She said she wasn't coming back!"

Danny frowned this time. "Why?"

"Said it would be too hard to come and go. Too hard to what? We'll stay in touch. We'll see each other."

"Have you thought how much it is gonna hurt to leave. To watch each other go." Danny offered. Daniel absorbed his dad's words.

They walked over and anesthetised the animal.

"You lead dad. I can't." Daniel muttered. His head all over.

**A/N I'm just wondering who thought that the song was directed towards Missy/ Danny. They are happily back together and no more angst for them. Well not relationship angst…..  
But no it's actually Daniel and Amy. She has to go back to uni and is scared of a relationship. Mostly because what she had planned to do. But also because she had never felt this way before…remind you of anyone lol x I'm actually quite happy wi this chapter so I feel abit happier now :D  
****And Amie, this is gonna be a hard couple of chapters for her. Coming to terms with what happened to her. Will she be able to do it? Or will her attitude fracture the family? Keep reading x**

**(A/N 2) Ok people you have a decision to make. I am at a crossroads and decided you can have a hand in what happens. There are 3 options;**

**1-I can carry on the lives and times of Danice. (I was dubious about this one coz Katie Trevanion and wildatheartfan (I think I'm still catching up and haven't read it yet) are doing a similar fic atm which are much better then mine - katies is immense lol) update soon haha **

**2-I can carry on honeymoon**

**OR 3 - I can start a brand new story which finally finished taking shape at 2:30am this morning. I was just lying awake and it was like voila! Haha It's a Romeo/Juliet type thing. Called 'Young Love. Forever Undeterred.' (I'm thinking about changing the name coz that is a mouthful) It isn't a AR one it's based on the family. (Danice. Dupe Caroline Nomsa Liv Charlie ect…. ) **

**What do you guys think? Drop me a little line x BUT you'll have to wait a little bit for the chapter to whatever you pick coz I ain't actually wrote anything yet x happy reviews may make me write faster lol only jokin xxx**


	38. Truth, Anger and Tears

Missy had heard part of Daniel's conversation with his father. Had felt guilt at the line that Amy had been alone her whole life. That had been her fault. She walked towards Amy's hut. Heard soft crying inside and felt her insides tear even more.

"Amy?" she called. Heard someone moving quickly. "Can I come in?"

"Sure." Amy's voice wobbled. Missy saw her swiping at tears.

"You ok?" Missy asked.

"Yeah I'm good." Flashed a blatantly fake smile. It looked miserable. She folded a t-shirt and placed it in her case.

"So Miss?" Amy asked. A question as to why she was here.

Missy had no idea what to say. "Um….this is sorta….hard." she faltered.

"Look if this is about Daniel then please I can't….." Amy panicked. Her eyes pleading with her to back off.

"No this isn't about Daniel. But your letting a great guy get away. I should know. I raised him since he was 9 years old."

"I have my reasons." was the only reply Amy was willing to offer at the moment.

"I know your reasons." Missy murmured. "But you don't have to be alone anymore."

Amy raised her head sharply. "Why not? You don't know what my life has been like!" she snapped. "All I have ever been is alone. My mum and dad died when I was less than 6 years old. I don't even have a picture of them! Danny abandoned me when I was 6 years old left me with an aunt and an uncle who decided a kid was too much hard work. They got rid of me when I was 9! My uncle died and my aunt decided she didn't want me anymore! Uncle Shauna wasn't the best anyway he liked raising his hands. After that all I had was foster homes til I ran away at 14!" closed her mouth. Breathing heavily she had definitely said too much, her emotions were all over.

Missy's mouth was open and her eyes were full of tears.

"Oh God Amy I'm so sorry I didn't….." She almost finished with want that for you when Amy interrupted.

"Wasn't exactly your fault." Amy said bitterly. Folded some jeans.

"Your aunt?" Missy said throat thick.

Amy looked at her. "She was manic depressive. Shaun struggled to cope and I got the brunt of his frustrations. If she had a bad day then I did too." she said so rationally like she had resigned herself to it. Amy shrugged. "Why do you care anyway?"

"Look Amy can you sit down for a minute?" Missy asked her.

"What's up?" Amy asked worried by the seriousness of her tone.

"Right Amy…." Missy sat her down and knelt in front of her so she couldn't bolt. "We believe…..or I do…." she faltered. "I had a child 21 years ago. Amy Lynch. She was born on the 3rd August."

Her eyes flickered at the date of birth but then she schooled her features. "So." she said belligerently.

"I gave her away. For reasons I'm not gonna get into right now."

"SO!" Amy repeated.

"Amy I believe that you….that I'm…."

Amy's eyes widened as she realised what Missy was trying to say. "NO WAY!" she declared. "Your off your head!"

"Amy there is a good chance that I'm your mother - biologically."

Amy looked at her like she was crazy. "This is a joke right. Daniel told me you had a funny sense of humour."

Missy looked at her. "If you knew me then you would know that I'm serious here!"

Amy didn't believe her. Missy pulled her towards a mirror. "Look at us Amy!"

Amy looked. "Christ Almighty!" she jumped. They weren't identical but they were enough alike that Amy was worried. "Co-incidence!" she declared. Shook her head.

"Amy…." Missy said softly.

"YOU. ARE. CRAZY!" Amy stated slowly and clearly.

"We're very alike."

"I share interests with Danny! Doesn't mean he is my father!"

"It's deeper then that. Personality. How we look." Missy told her patiently.

"My mother died when I was a baby!"

"Amy your reaching. When you calm down and think about it you'll know it's true."

"Leave me alone!" Amy fumed.

Missy nodded. "I'm sorry about your life. I should never have gave you up."

"GO!" Amy yelled.

Missy left and Amy paced. Stuff her aunt used to say ran through her mind. 'Someone's cast off!' 'No one wanted you.' 'You not family and never will be!'

She just thought it was the medication talking! What was she doing? She didn't actually believe her so why was she trying to rationalise it for? So what! Even if she did have a kid. With the same name and date of birth as her it meant nothing. It didn't make it her! She really wanted to pick something up and break it. But this wasn't her house. Her life. Her stuff. She couldn't break if unless it belonged to her. So instead she paced agitatedly.

(X)

Amie sat on the sofa in the living room. Her legs and arms were crossed. Looked at the rebuilt wall. Sat and thought about how she held it up. How it was crumbling above her. Debris falling all around her. She remembered the helpless feeling she had when she knew it was coming down. Knew it was gonna fall on either her, Ryan or both of them. Hated the weak feeling that accompanied it. Like the weak feeling she had felt throughout her entire time in Borneo. She was disgusted at how soft she had been! She shouldn't have gave them the pleasure of hearing her screams. She should have suffered in silence. Strong stoic silence! She should never have even gone. She should have stayed at home!

She then looked at the picture of her mother which had been replaced on the wall. Why had she helped her? Amie had vehemently declared that she hated her and truly believed that she always would and then what does she go and do? She freaking helps her! God but she was confused.

Amie was pulled from her thoughts by loud footsteps walking through the house. It was Missy. She walked passed the living room without looking. Stopped in the kitchen. She looked frazzled. Stressed out. Miss was another one she couldn't figure out. She felt anger towards her too. She didn't know why, she just did. Amie stood up. Her legs were beginning to cramp. She danced from one leg to the other to wake them up. Shook them. Carried on shaking them as she walked into the kitchen. Missy was in a cupboard and took out a glass. Slammed it forcefully.

"How are you Amie?" Missy asked when she saw her.

Amie shrugged. "Good." She didn't feel bad so she supposed good was the only other thing. "Are you ok?" Amie asked her tentatively.

Missy gave her a half smile and nodded. "Great."

Amie crossed her arms. "Why are you lying to me?"

Missy looked at her. Took in her angry expression. Didn't wanna cause another argument so didn't bother lying again. "Don't worry about it Ames. it doesn't concern you. You just concentrate on getting better." Missy said softly.

"You mean Amy doesn't concern me?" Amie asked defensively.

Missy paled. Her arms crossed automatically. Almost like in defense.

"I knew that was it!" Amie spat. "Is she why you've been distant with me?"

Missy was almost speechless. Missy distant with her. She was the one…..calmed herself down. Losing her temper wouldn't help. "What?" Missy finally asked playing dumb.

"I know about your 21 year old secret!"

Missy exhaled. "Amie don't start. Please!"

Amie's eyes darkened. "Who said I was going to? Did it even occur to you that I might support you? Help you?"

Missy's mind spun. What? Right she couldn't do this anymore. Her head was all over. "You know what Amie I can't deal with this right now. One minute you hate me the next you wanna support me? All I have had from you in the last 2 weeks is anger and indifference. Don't mess with my head!" she fumed.

"You being funny with me Miss?" Amie asked coldly.

Missy breathed a laugh. "Me being funny with you?" she asked in disbelief. "YOU are the one who is being funny with me!"

Amie narrowed her eyes. "O so this is how you want it to be from now on then?"

"Like what?"

"I knew you only loved me coz you were with my dad!"

"Amie that isn't true and you know it!" Missy told her. "All I want is to go back to how we were."

"No Melissa. I knew you only pretended to be like a mum to me to keep my dad sweet!"

"Amie I have been the best mother I can to you. There was no pretending at all!"

Amie yelled anger fill her. She felt it throb in every molecule of her entire body. It ached to be released so she did "Well you NOT my mother are you?" Amie wasn't thinking about what she was saying. Just reacting to Missy's comments hitting out to hurt her.

"Amie that has never mattered to me." Missy said calmly.

"Well it does to me!" felt rage explode in her chest once again. "I wish you had died instead of mum and none of this would ever have happened!" she shouted. Shook with the force of the anger flowing through her.

Missy's eyes narrowed. "You don't know how many times I wished that myself!"

Amie was taken aback by Missy's declaration. Crossed her arms as she watched Missy walk away.

(X)

Missy fumed as she walked away. One more person took cheap shots at her again and wasn't being held accountable for her actions. She had a high threshold for this stuff but she was dangerously close to hitting her limit!

She stomped from the house and walked straight into Danny.

"Miss?" he asked. Looked at her face. Saw she was pale. Her eyes were angry but she mostly looked upset. Really upset. She never looked like this so he was instantly worried.

"Danny, just let me go I need 5." she whispered.

"If that is what you want I will. But I have a feeling that you need someone to help you right now." he murmured.

He heard her inhale sharply. Saw tears begin to fall down her cheeks. He wrapped her in his arms. She buried her face in his chest. He walked into the house not letting her go. He saw Amie's shocked face as he passed. Shook his head and led Missy into their room. Closed the door. Sat down on the bed, the whole time not letting her go.

"Let it out Miss." he murmured. Held her as she cried quietly into his chest. It wasn't like Miss to react like this. She was strong. Things just didn't affect her deeply enough for her to lose it in full view of everyone. She kept it buried til she was alone. Or dealt with in another way, whuch didn't involve tears. So whatever happened must be big. There were only a few times he had saw her cry like this. The first was when Alice died. Then again when Ryan was ill in hospital with meningitis. The only other time she came close was when she saw him kissing Vanessa. Her shudders soon subsided to small tremors. Then stopped altogether.

"Feel better?" he whispered softly. Pressed a kiss to her forehead which felt very warm.

"No." she said weakly. "Now I have a headache!" she told him. Her head throbbed with the force of her tears.

He released her. Walked from their room and into the bathroom. Got a cold flannel. She went to take it but he wiped her eyes and forehead. The cold felt good.

"I can take care of myself Danny."

"I know but I can take care of you too!" he replied with a smile. "You wanna tell me what that was about?"

She noticed he gave her a choice this time. It seemed he had taken on board what she said.

"I told Amy I was her mother. She of course said I was off my nut."

Danny winced.

"That wasn't really what upset. I spoke to our…your Amie."

He frowned. "Why did you change the word our to yours Miss?" he asked worriedly.

"Can we talk later Danny? I'm really tired and don't think clearly when I have a headache this bad. When I cry like all I wanna do after is sleep."

He kissed her tenderly. "Sleep then honey. You want me to walk down the hut with you?"

She shook her head. "I'll just crash here for an hour."

"Ok sweetheart. Sleep tight."

She lay down on their new mattress. He lay beside her and wrapped his arms around her.

"What you doing?" she murmured sleepily.

"Hugging you." pressed a kiss to her hair.

"Not copping a feel then?" she asked.

"I did consider it!" he answered with a laugh.

She smiled. "Thanks Danny."

"Don't mention it."

"I love you." she said after a moments silence.

"I love you too." he promised.

He felt her body go slack. Her breathing turned slow deep and even. He put his hand over her heart and was reassured by it's rhythmic thumping.

He heard a soft knock. He looked down at Missy. Her face looked completely relaxed. Her brown lashes rested against her cheek which held a rosy glow. Her blond hair cascaded over shoulders. He pressed a soft kiss to her cheek and rose from the bed.

"Dad." Amie said as he opened the door. He strode out and closed it.

"I need to talk to Miss." Amie said clutching a white envelope.

"She's asleep!"

"In the middle of the day?"

"When something upsets her powerfully and she cries as hard as did there then she tends to sleep it off."

"Did she tell you…." Amie started.

"NO she didn't. I hope that whatever goal you hoped to achieve you succeeded though!"

"What?" Amie asked confused. Shoved the letter in her pocket.

"I have only seen her that upset twice in the whole time I have known her. In over 30 years Amie. One of those was when your mother died and the other was when Ryan was ill in hospital and we thought we were gonna lose him! Do you understand what I am saying. Understand how much you upset her?" he fumed.

"Dad."

"Amie you know what just don't! Whatever you have been through it is unfair to take it on her. All she has ever done is love you!" he had reached the end of his tether. Seeing Missy upset like that had upset him too.

"Yeah unlike you!" She muttered and walked away.

"What was that Amie?" he asked following her.

She spun. "I said UNLIKE YOU!" began to walk away again.

"You can't expect to say stuff like then and then me to walk away like it's nothing!"

"I don't expect you to do anything dad. I'm walking away!" she spat not looking back.

"Amie why do you think I don't love you?"

She stood still and turned again. Turned her eyes heavenward. Her face the picture of frustration.

"Amie." he repeated.

"Do you see me dad?" she asked. Looked him dead in the eye.

"Yeah."

"No - ME! Or am I just an extension of mum? Your replacement possibly?"

He froze. He hadn't seen her like that - had he?

She smiled sardonically. "That was always your problem! If I ever did anything un-Alice like then you ignored it. You only ever noticed me if I did something that reminded you of her! Well guess what dad, I can't be like her, or you or even Missy. I can only be me! I like me!" she stressed. "Why can't you?"

"Of course I like you Amie. You're my little girl!"

She raised her hands frustrated. "I am 21 dad. Nothing little about 21!"

"I didn't mean it like that. I mean you're my youngest daughter. Look Lexi is still my baby and she's in her 30's. I can't change it."

"Ah yes Alexis. Lets NOT go there huh?" she muttered dryly.

Danny frowned again.

"Look I understand. In a way. It doesn't mean I have to like it. It's suffocating dad."

"Look do you need….You know Borneo or the plane crash?"

She shook her head and took a step back. "Not to you! I have support in the army if I need it which I don't! I'm strong!"

"The plane crash?" he repeated.

"I said no dad! You think you understand but you don't. I saw the plane going down. Watched as I hurtled towards firstly the ocean and then not one house but two! Don't even pretend to understand what that's like. You didn't know that plane was going down and if you did you didn't see anything. I did! Did you know you were gonna die? And that second before impact how it stretches on forever. When you know this is gonna hurt like hell and all you can do is wait? To try and fight with this big metal plane that weighs a ton?" she breathed heavily trying to dispel the dark thoughts. "I'm not talking about it dad! End of!" she finished softly. "Plus you didn't half change the subject I am trying to tell you I'm not an extension of someone GOD!" she yelled and walked off.

"Help!" Danny murmured to no one in particular. Amie was just too hard to understand. How could he support her if he didn't know how! Every time he tried he only seemed to get it completely wrong!

**A/N ok Amie's rampage has begun. yes this is only the beginning...**

**and poor missy :( she really is getting it from all angles but she told Amy - will that convicne her to stay or make her go more?**

**(A/N2) since i have been left to decide my story i will probs try out the romeo/ juliet style one. got a couple of ideas buzzing around and plus i know how im gonna start it. **


	39. Too Far!

Everyone sat on the veranda for tea. Everyone except Missy and Amy that is. Daniel moped. Amie was sat fuming silently. Ryan chattered incessantly to his dad. Lexi and EJ talked at intervals.

"Look everyone!" Amie said. "Since the whole family is here I guess I'll say this now."

"What about Missy?" Danny asked her.

"What about her?" Amie challenged.

Everyone narrowed their eyes at her. Danny exhaled.

"I'm gonna spend another week here recuperating then I'm gonna be returning to active duty. I'll be returning to England to be briefed and shipped out." Barrett had mentioned on the phone that they had prisoners in Iraq. They were sending the SAS in. He wanted her in there if she was well enough. He had assured he she had another week as they had to fine tune some plans. This was just the thing to make her forget her time in Borneo.

"It hasn't been a month yet Amie!" Daniel declared.

"I'm not letting you go!" Danny declared standing up.

"Your not letting me? How on earth do you plan on stopping me?" Amie asked.

"I'll think of something!"

Amie shook her head. "Lexi got stabbed. You didn't stop her being a paramedic. Ethan ran in burning buildings he almost died too. But do you stop him? No! Even Daniel could get mauled and do you stop him? Of course not - you wouldn't dream of it. So don't bother trying to stop me! All of them have dangerous jobs too difference is I'm trained to keep myself out of danger! To get myself out of situations while they aren't!" she fumed

"In the house now Amie. If you wanna have this out now we will but I don't want an audience!"

"What you don't want them knowing about how you didn't want me and don't love me?" she spat. Turned to her siblings. "And don't pretend that you didn't know."

Danny opened his mouth then shut it. Jogged down the veranda steps away from them.

Lexi and Daniel were glaring at Amie darkly. The two boys eyed each other wearily.

"Amie why are you being like this?" Daniel asked. "And you know what you said about dad isn't true!"

"Boys go to your rooms please." Lexi asked. They scattered sensing it was all about to hit the fan.

"The only person I'm being like is me Daniel. If you don't like it tough!"

"Amie though this isn't you. You've changed. "Lexi told her after the boys left.

"O so you expect me to smile and be happy? Well I can't. I feel angry. At all of you and I'll express it ok?"

"You're the idiot who chose to go over there. Don't take it out on us!" Daniel fumed.

"Go to hell Daniel. You know nothing. Too scared to leave dad's side. I went out there by myself. I don't need him to be me!" Amie said coldly.

"Yeah Amie you left and look what happened. You did real well taking care of yourself sis!" Lexi hissed. Disliked the veiled jab Amie had made at all of them for staying close to home.

"You shut up as well Lexi, the state your family is in. Maybe if you had listened to my advice your husband wouldn't have walked out and left!"

Daniels eyes widened and he looked between his sisters.

Lexi meanwhile had moved like lightning and grabbed a fistful of her collar. "Don't mention my family!"

"I warned you about what I'd do to you if you laid on finger on me again Lex!" Batted her hand away.

"You went too far Amie!" Daniel told her. "I think it's best you back off!"

"Go cry over your girlfriend somewhere else Daniel!" Amie yelled.

His eyes darkened in response and he stood up. Lexi did too. All 3 of the siblings were glaring. Amie leaned back in her chair and smiled cockily. "2 against one. Oh I do love a challenge!"

"Didn't do you much good in Borneo did it?" Lexi told her nastily.

The remarks had gone far passed personal now.

Amie jumped from her chair so quick that it toppled back from the force of it. Grabbed the edge of the table and pushed it out of the way. Plates, glasses and silverware hit the floor with a clatter. "You wanna start with me Lexi! I'll gladly show you what I did in Borneo!"

"Amie calm down!" he said putting his hand on her arm.

"Shut up Daniel. This is between me and Lexi!"

"Grow up Amie. You had a bad experience. It doesn't excuse you taking it out on all of us. I went through bad stuff too. You don't see me doing that to my family."

"If you weren't…."

"Your all mouth Amie. You talk big but your not. Your small and weak!"

Amie saw red. Moved so quick she was almost a blur. Grabbed Lexi's shoulders and threw her off the pillar on the veranda. Lexi stayed on her feet. Amie was beyond rage and began swinging. Lexi too began hitting out. Soon they were brawling on the veranda. Daniel tried to grab Lexi…..ducked just in time from being cracked in the face. So he went to grab for Amie and jumped back in time from being hit in the ribs. He looked at them panicking.

"What's…." a sleepy voice asked. "Jesus Christ!" Missy declared when she saw Lexi and Amie. Lexi dodged a punch from Amie.

"Miss how we gonna deal with this?" Daniel panicked. Lexi succeeding in elbowing Amie in the chest. The air left her in a whoosh but she didn't let that slow her down. She uppercut Lexi who stumbled back. Amie didn't miss a beat and moved towards her again.

Missy was straight in there. Lexi was wobbly. She grabbed Amie and held her arms behind her back. Daniel stared at her. Amazed at her fearlessness. Lexi jumped at them. Missy knew what was coming and her arms were otherwise engaged. Amie ducked when Lexi swung and Missy took a left hook to the jaw. She felt her lower face shift.

Daniels eyes bugged.

Missy had released Amie and grabbed her face. Amie and Lexi were fighting again oblivious.

"Christ I think she just broke my jaw!" Missy groaned holding her face.

"God Miss you ok? That should have knocked you clean out!"

She rubbed her jaw. Wobbled it and winced. "Look you get Lexi. I'll take Amie. Take Lexi somewhere, anywhere to cool her down. Tie her up if you have to. Or lock her in the electric pens!"

He nearly chuckled but saw she was serious. He nodded looked at her wearily. Missy wore the same expression.

"It was nice knowing you." she whispered. Then again went in with no hesitation. She was on her guard this time and dodged a blow to the ribs.

"Christ Lex!" she muttered. "I swear you'll take me out on day kid!"

She grabbed Amie and hauled her back forcefully Amie's feet left the floor and Missy turned her in mid air. Restrained her tightly. Amie if she had been thinking clearly could have got out of it in a second.

"Daniel!" she yelled straining as Amie jerked and nearly had her flipped over her back. "Grab her!" She saw Lexi beginning to spring again. Daniel grabbed her and pulled her away. Both sisters were yelling threats at each other. Breathing heavily.

"Amie it's Miss calm down yeah." she murmured in her ear. Pushed her inside the house.

Amie spun quickly and ran at the door trying to get at Lexi with a single minded ferocity. Missy caught her around the waist. Almost went through the door with momentum. Her back clattered against it loudly and she winced as the handle dug into her lower spine. She was far to old to be doing this! Right no more. After this she was retiring. They could kill each other!

"Amie it's Miss!" she repeated to her softly. Any other tone might make her turn on her and Missy didn't want that!

"I'll kill her! She's wrong!" she raged.

"You won't kill her. Your not capable Ames."

"Yes I am. I've killed people before. In Borneo. Let me go!" she yelled.

Missy exhaled. "You wanna kill your sister then you have to go through me Ames! If you hurt her then you'll hate yourself!"

Amie spun from her hold and hit out. Frustrated needing to vent this restless murderous anger. Missy deflected one blow and the other with no difficulty. Amie kept going faster and faster till she ran out of energy and her arms hung uselessly at her sides. Sweat poured off Missy's forehead and she was panting from the exertion of trying to stay one step ahead of Amie.

"You….done?" she asked panting. "You….calm….yet?"

"MOVE!" Amie said in a deadly tone. "I WILL move you!"

"No Amie." she said. Inhaled deeply. Ready for round 2 thank God she got Daniel to take Lex that was all she could think!

"Move or I'll tell everyone your 21 year old secret!" she warned.

Missy shrugged. "They know." she bluffed. Only Danny and the two Amy's knew.

"Dammit Miss!" she fumed. Couldn't bring herself to hurt her. She had calmed down a little. Turned her back intent on going out the back door.

Missy exhaled and shook her head, and did the wrong thing. She grabbed her from behind.

Amie flashbacked to Borneo. Rashid was behind her grabbing her.

"NO!" she yelled. Crouched and spun quickly wrapped her arms around his neck tightly. Her captive fought. He was strong but so was she. Right Rashid was gonna get it. She tightened her hold and moved her arms slightly. One quick twist and she'd hear a crack. See how the bastard tortured her with a broken neck. Her arms moved…

**A/N MISSY!**

**i also think that lexi and amie need their heads sorted sayin all that stuff and then fighting :/**


	40. Strength

Amie was just about to break Rashid's neck when her dad's voice broke through her angry haze.

"God Amie what you doing?" he moved towards her quickly.

She looked down and saw blond hair. Miss? She loosened her hold and stepped back. Missy fell to her knees coughing and gulping.

"Amie!" Danny fumed.

"It's…K." Missy breathed. "I'm…good." stood up. "Fine…..see."

She then blinked and she made a weird face. Wobbled and fell to the floor. Her head lolled to the side.

"Missy!" Danny asked. Was on his knees by her side. "Amie ring Lexi!"

Amie stared at Missy in shock. What she had did to her.

"AMIE!" he yelled. "Phone your sister!"

"Miss calm your breathing. Honey." he murmured had no idea if she could hear him. "Take slow deep breathes." he said calmly. His heart was pounding so hard he thought it was gonna burst out of his chest.

Missy's breathing calmed and she opened her eyes. "What happened, one minute I was up and the next I'm…."

"You passed out." he whispered. "Lexi is on her way."

"NO!" Missy sat up. Wobbled, with vertigo for a minute. "You need to get Lexi away. Amie…." she looked around. "Where's Amie?"

He looked around too.

"Dammit!" she muttered. Tried to get up.

"Stay still, Lex will be here in minute!"

"And how far away will Amie be by then?"

"Look Miss. Concentrate on yourself for a change. Amie went too far this time. She is picking fights with people and now she tried to kill you!"

"I grabbed her from behind!"

"So." he said.

"Think about it Danny. Borneo is still fresh and raw in her mind. I'll find her then let Lexi check me over." smiled at him. "Maybe you too if you're good!" She stood up. "You wait here. Get Lexi out if you can. I'll bring Amie home."

He nodded and she walked out of the back door.

(X)

"Amie!" she yelled.

No sounds penetrated the night. She head for Amie's problems trunk as she called it. Many a time Amie had a quandary in the past and Missy would find her here lost in pensive thought. This time was no different. She was sat on the dusty floor with her back to the truck. Her knees pulled to her chin. Her arms rested on them. Her face hidden in her arms.

"Ames." Missy said softly.

"So your alive then?" Amie murmured.

"No doubt." Missy said simply.

"Go away Miss!" Amie spat. Her attitude had returned full force.

"I'm worried about you Amie."

"Why I almost killed you!" muffled. Her voice wobbled. Amie's mood was shifting rapidly from anger to sadness to guilt. She couldn't keep up with it.

"Almost killed me? C'mon Ames that's a bit dramatic. You just sorta…..choked me a little bit." she offered.

Amie looked at her defiantly. "I was about 2 seconds from breaking your neck!"

"O." Missy murmured troubled. Sat down beside her. "You hate me that much huh?"

"I don't hate you Miss I….I….." she exhaled. "I don't know how I feel! About anything!"

"Amie." Missy started gently.

She jumped up and paced. "I have Daniel trying to act normal. Which to his isn't normal. Dad fusses over me like I'm gonna burst into tears or crack up at any second! Lexi is stressing about other stuff which means she keeps out my way thankfully. But then when we do get together we just explode. Ryan is acting like my slave EJ stares at me like I have two heads and you….I'm being pulled in so many different ways. Act normal Amie. Be happy Amie. Don't do this do that Amie!" she kicked a stone hard. It disappeared into the bush. "t's all just making me so angry!"

"Amie we're all worried about you. Your so different since you came back. We love you and want what's best for you."

"I don't need you to worry. I need to go back to normal. How can I be normal if all of you can't?"

"Can you go back to normal Amie? Really? Can you still be the happy smiling young woman I used to know?"

Amie stopped and looked at her. Frowning. Could she?

"She's still there Amie. I see her sometimes. Mostly when your with Ryan or EJ. Less and less now though. She's getting lost in there. Under the anger and resentment. Do me a favour, don't turn into me!" Missy turned pensive and thought hard about her next statement. Rubbed her jaw absently. "I was….angry, bitter a long time after what happened to me. I had no outlet, you do."

"No I don't Miss!" Amie replied.

"You do Amie. Talk to me, tell me anything. Shout, rant scream. If that's what you need to do."

Amie felt tears fill her eyes and forced them away. "NO! I don't need to. I'm strong!" began to pace faster then before. Ordered the tears to stay away from her.

Missy stood up. "Amie. You need a hug." Missy murmured.

"No I don't!" she said stubbornly.

"I do then." she retorted. "We all know I'm soft. Lexi didn't half catch my jaw!"

"NO!" Amie said firmly.

Missy walked over and wrapped her arms around her. Amie fought, but it was weakly. Barely worth it really.

"There not so bad is it?" Missy whispered.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you. I seen him….Rashid. I freaked. Was back in Borneo."

Missy nodded. "I know."

They stood. Missy still hadn't released her.

"You know I haven't hugged you properly since you were a little girl." Missy murmured.

"I grew up." Amie whispered.

"Internalising won't help." Missy said quietly in her ear. "Let it out."

Amie shook her head stiffly.

"30 years Amie. That's how long it took me. I don't want that for you. Let it out and move on." she encouraged. "It can't hurt you anymore. HE can't hurt you anymore."

Amie sniffed loudly and began breathing audibly. "But he'll know!" she stressed. "If I shed one tear then he'll know how much he's hurt me! If I cry we'll never get off that island. I'll just tumble in despair and me and Tom will be trapped there forever! I HAVE to stay strong. I have to be the strong one coz that's who I am. Being strong means I get us home safe!" she whispered.

"Amie. Your home with me. Your not there. Your safe!"

"But he'll…..he'll…." her voice cracked and broke. "You have no idea Miss!" Sobs came thick and fast. From deep inside her. Everything she held inside poured out. "I needed to stay strong. No one else was there to do that Miss. It was so hard I needed help but I was all alone and scared!"

"It's ok Amie." she soothed. "You are strong. Strongest person I know. Stronger then me and your mother put together. Crying isn't weak." stroked her hair like she had done as a child.

Minutes ticked by and Missy held her as she cried out what she needed to. Amie's tears finally subsided. Whether she had stopped or simply ran out of tears Missy didn't know. She knew one thing though. Amie had never cried like that before!

"How's my Amie then?" Missy asked.

Amie pulled away and wouldn't meet her eyes. Ashamed of her weakness.

"C'mon Ames. A few tears don't matter. I couldn't tell you how often your mother and Shauna cried all over me. I swear I nearly floated away!"

"What about you crying in front of them?"

Missy exhaled. "I don't cry in front of people."

"Neither do I Miss." Amie told her.

"Yeah but I'm a stupid adult. Your smarter than me. You know better then to hold it inside. And as for crying, I'm your Miss. It's what I'm here for. Crying. Throttling. Talking."

Amie looked at her.

"Bad joke?"

Amie nodded. "Just a little."

"Ok but seriously Ames you could do anything, tell me anything and it wouldn't bother me."

"Look Miss. I understand if you don't care anymore. I said stuff. A lot of stuff that was out of order. Stuff that I didn't even mean."

"Really….what? I can't remember!" Missy grinned.

"C'mon Miss…..your only making me feel worse here!"

Missy rolled her eyes in reply.

"About the, 'not my mum' comment." she said quietly. "Did you mean it when you said it didn't matter to you?" Amie said softly.

"Course I meant it. I've brought you all up. Lexi when you mother was in Glasgow and Bristol. Then you and Daniel after…..you know. Amie one day when you have kids you'll understand mothers, mum's, step mums, extended family. They argue with their kids all the time. Ryan drives me crazy sometimes. You too. All of you. Sometimes I wanna strangle the lot of you simultaneously. Doesn't mean I stop loving you. All mum's feel like this. Even mothers who aren't here." she hinted.

Amie sat on the trunk once again. "Miss if I tell you something will you keep it between us? O and not call me crazy?"

"Do you really need to ask?"

"Well, when I was in Borneo I saw her….she helped me." Amie murmured.

"Who?"

"Alice. My mother. She spoke to me. Encouraged me. I can't tell you how many times I nearly gave up. But every time she kept me going, I don't know how. I thought I was off my head. Delirious from pain and lack of sleep. But she was there at one point. In person! I tried to tell myself she couldn't possible have been real but…." Amie shook her head in wonder. Looked up at Miss. "Crazy huh?"

Missy shook her head. "You needed help and your mother was there."

"But I said I hated her. I told my dad I wished that you were my mum and then she goes and does this! All it's done is confuse me!"

"What so you don't hate her anymore?" Missy asked.

"No. Yes. No…..I dunno. See she still left me when I needed her. But if she had been here I'd have died over there. But if she had been here I could have a totally different career choice. So in a way it's her fault I was over there. And on the same hand if she had lived I wouldn't have you and I really love you although in a twisted way I blamed you too."

"Ames your over thinking this. Don't stress you'll work it out. Try not to worry huh?" she soothed.

"But I was like. Here I am, 21 years old and me being like you nearly got me killed. Along with my smart mouth!"

"I understand Amie. Truthfully I do. I know about placing blame on others, even though you don't mean it." her dad's face flashed in her mind.

Amie looked at her.

"When I was a little older than you me and my dad argued. We couldn't be in the same room without arguing, I blamed him for the stuff Andy did to me. Blamed him for not protecting me. He died before we made up and it kills me. Knowing he thought I thought that when I really didn't. I just spat it to him fully meaning at the time. I just needed to hurt him like he hurt me. Make up with your dad Amie. Please Danny is trying his best and he loves you."

Amie looked at the floor. "Why'd you bottle it Miss?" Amie asked softly.

Missy hated talking about this stuff, but if it helped Amie work through her won stuff then she'd do it. Then crack up later. Danny would put her back together. Then thought hard about how she was gonna explain it.

"In life we all have roles. They are sorta given to you as you grow up by the people around you. You don't ask for them but you know instinctively what they are. See no one told Alice she was 'the leader' in our group, she just was. And no one told me I was the bubbly happy one I just was. After all that stuff with Andy I had been in the bubbly happy role for 6 years. It's hard to do the opposite of what's expected of you. So I carried on with the happy persona, anything that bothered me I kept inside. It made me dark. That dark place wasn't a nice place so I tried even harder to be happy." Shook her head as she remebered a dark day she had at 16. She remebered thinking that if anyone pushed her then she'd kill them. Literally! "All life is a series of transactions and games. Or that's what my psychologist told me. I need to stop reverting to the child part of my personality for everything. He told me I was in free child. But actually I was in adapted child. I was doing what was expected of me from family. Friends."

She saw Amie's puzzled expression.

"Sorry I read psychology books and counselling books. I tend to overanalyse things. Sorry I went a bit deep"

"So you were happy and didn't talk to anyone about it coz they didn't expect it of you? You were strong because you couldn't show them the dark weak part of you?" Amie knew exactly where she was coming from. Miss hadn't even realised how much she helped her!

Missy nodded. "That's what I thought. I was 11 when he did that to me. Things tend to get distorted at that age."

"Was that the reason you gave your Amy away?" Amie asked sat beside her.

"No. There are a few reasons. Some I can't tell you. But the main one is I felt like I didn't have the capacity love a child. See they need unconditional love. They need stability and to be honest I was flighty and erratic and I sure as hell wasn't stable! It was a rough time."

"Really? You thought you couldn't love her. Miss your like one of the most loving people I know. You have us and Ryan. We never doubt you, never have."

"That was your dad Amie. He forced me to stop running. See anything that stressed me I got on a plane and ran like hell! Anyone who got too close was the same. I thought I was safe from feeling anything about your dad coz of our connection to your mum. Boy was I wrong. I swear Amie she planned that! She always did have this sick sense of humour and loved to see me frazzled. Anyway your dad made me stay and face the things. To let them out even though I really didn't want to. The stuff I bottled I had kept inside for 30 years Amie. It's a long time. Then he came along and rattled me. Flipping shook me right outta my tree. I tried to scramble back up it but he held on tight and made me talk. If it hadn't been for him I'd be the same old Miss. Acting happy bit incredibly dark inside. I still have dark places but they are less now and don't affect me as much. I have bad depressive days but we all do. Come to me to vent Amie till you find your own Danny ok."

Amie nodded. "Thanks Miss. I don't deserve you. If you throttled me I'd probably wouldn't have spoke to you again!"

"Yes you would." Missy though remembering how close she is to Daniel. And what he did to her all those years ago. "So how do you feel now Amie?"

She exhaled. "The same but lighter. I still feel anger but it's less now."

Missy smiled. "You'll get there. Told you, you were stronger than me!"

"Do you mind if…." Amie faltered.

"If you want." Missy told her. "Your still my little Amie." Ruffled her hair. Missy stood up and offered her hand to Amie. She grasped it and Missy pulled her to standing. Amie pulled her close for a quick hug. It only lasted a second but it was proof of some progress.

(X)

Missy and Amie spoke about light-hearted subjects as they strolled towards the house. Missy as laughing at a comment Amie made when they walked straight into Lexi on the veranda. Amie glanced at Missy then thrust her hands in pockets. Looked at the floor.

Lexi walked right up to Amie and pushed her. "Who do you think you are doing that to Miss after everything she had done for you?" Lexi fumed.

Amie's fists clenched and her face darkened. Took a step forward. Then what Missy saw made her fill with pride. Amie closed her eyes. Exhaled and stepped back.

"Cool off Lex. Then we'll talk!" Missy told her.

"But Miss she…."

"COOL IT!" Missy demanded.

"Let me at least check you over yeah?" Lexi asked. "Throttling someone who's just had major heart surgery!" Lexi muttered

"Look Miss I'm just gonna…." Amie pointed to away and left.

As Amie's figured disappeared Missy lost her temper. "Lex you are 30 odd years old. Act like it!"

"What about her?"

"I was this close to having her back to normal and Queen Lexi here goes and undoes it immediately! O and do you remember the last time you pushed someone on the veranda. Don't do it again!"

"She throttled you Miss! Dad knew exactly what she was about to do. Doesn't that matter?"

"God Lex I was there! I don't need a reminder. And no Lex it doesn't matter to me how many times have you took a swing at me? Did it change how I looked at you? No coz I love you. All of you!"

"Miss your bond with Amie is messing with your mind."

"What about he time you pushed me down the stairs and almost broke my neck? Was my bond with you messing with my mind then?"

"That was an accident Missy. I didn't deliberately go to break your neck. Unlike her!" Lexi spat.

"Lex I grabbed her from behind. She was back in Borneo alone with that monster. She protected herself." Missy snapped. "God Lex she needs you. To be her big sister . To hug her. To show you care!"

"After she threatened to hospitalise me?" Lexi squeaked and shook her head.

"Christ all of you are too freaking stubborn. It's like having multiple copies of your father here at times. Let me tell you one of him is more then enough!" Missy declared exasperated.

"Your blood pressure is abit high. Your skin is flushed and clammy and your pupil look abit enlarged. You had any shortness of breath? Blackouts? Nausea? Spots in front of your eyes?" Lexi asked all business.

Missy shook her head.

Lexi opened her mouth.

"Don't worry if I have any of those symptoms you'll be the first person I'll tell." Missy cut off her sentance.

Lexi nodded.

"Hey Lex."

"Miss don't tell me to love her ok - not after what she said!"

"What about what you said to her?" Missy asked. Then went to her room. God she was exhausted. Physically and mentally. The stuff she said to Amie. It was always hard to talk about. Having to monitor what she said in case she said too much. She flopped down on her bed. Kicked her shoes off. She was just gonna rest her eyes for a minute.

**A/N sorry long chapter but i wanted amie to work this out. we dnt need an angry alice running round lol :) and at least missy didn't die. **

**a couple more chappies and the story goes into what is was originally about. all thats happened now was all ideas i had after my plan. it hasn't even kicked in yet lol x hope u enjoyed :D**


	41. Breakthrough

Missy was lost in dreams. Drifting from one to the next without a care. Was awoke by soft lips on hers.

"Mmmm." she whispered. Opened one drowsy eye and saw Danny lain on his said watching her. She stretched. "Sorry I fell asleep again." she murmured. "I've been so tired recently."

"Your taking on too much Miss." he whispered and kissed her again softly.

"Do something for me." she asked.

"Anything."

"Just lie here with me and we'll forget the world for a while."

He snuggled closer to her. "I won't be forgetting my world."

(X)

Lexi was on the warpath. Fully intending on finishing what she and Amie started, til she saw her sat on the sofa in the living room. She sat the way their mum used to when something was really bothering her. Her protective pose, knees pulled up to her chin. Amie had her face rested on them and her arms wrapped around her legs. Lexi decided to back off but hit the table.

"Come in Lex. Come pound on me a little I'll let you!"

"Amie….."

"Missy doesn't blame me at all. She understands why I did it even if I don't. I mean she is nothing like him yet I still….." raised her head. Stood up and opened her arms in a welcome gesture. "So come on Lex. Do what you want. I won't fight back."

Lexi sat down on the sofa. "We never have had the easiest of relationships have we?" Lexi asked.

"NO. Coz you were daddies girl and I was miniature mum. He loved you for you and he loved me for her." Amie sat on the chair away from her.

"C'mon Ames…."

"Lex please. I don't wanna argue I just…..I'm really sorry about what I said about your family. I was a cheap shot and totally uncalled for. I tend not to think about what I say when I'm angry. I just hit out. I was well out of order. I'm gutted about Zoey. And Ethan too. I haven't seen them both in so long."

Lexi nodded. "I appreciate that. It's hard not knowing where they both are. Zoey is just a baby and I'm going out of my mind not knowing where she is. And Ethan, I told him I wanted him gone and now he is I'm lost."

"Welcome to my life. Being lost even though you know where you are. I never felt like I belong anywhere. Me and Missy played the mother and daughter game but I didn't belong there. I don't belong in this family coz I'm the opposite to all of you. Your all nice settled 'roots' people where I'm just get up and go. I'm also a constant reminder to a dead person. I don't even belong in the secret service because I'm a woman even though I get told I'm the best they have. I know they're just waiting for me to slip up. Like in Borneo. That was one hell of a cock up wasn't it?" she exhaled. "I'm not wanted anywhere I go."

"Amie." she said her name once again.

"Ignore me Lex. I'm having a self pity party. It's not pretty."

"You have your place in the family. As a sister. As a daughter. As an auntie. And to Miss. You're the daughter she doesn't have."

Amie looked at her. Kept her mouth shut. "Amie will be replaced." she told Lexi finally. That statement she truly believed. Missy would find a way to build a relationship with her daughter. Daniel would no doubt marry her and then she would just fade away into obscurity, like she had never existed.

"God Amie you can't truly believe this stuff!"

"If I do?" Amie asked.

"C'mon Ames you know we all love you!"

"Lex can you just eave me alone please. I'm not the best company and I feel like I'm in emotional overload."

"You're my sister Amie I wanna help you."

"Am I your sister Lex? Or just an annoyance?"

"Amie." Lex walked over and sat beside her. Stopping her from getting up and moving. "Can we try to…."

"Not kill each other?" Amie suggested.

"Well yeah coz you got a hard punch!" Lexi told her with a smile.

"So do you. We're alike that way." Amie muttered.

They both sat in a silence that quickly turned awkward.

"I hate that I don't know what to say to you. That we have nothing to talk about." Lexi admitted. "You're my little sister. We should have tons to say. I should have helped you with boys and other stuff. I should have spent more time with you while you were growing up."

Amie shrugged. "You had your kids. I had Miss anyway. She's good at boys." Amie said with a smile. "Some of the stuff she told me had all the boys at school wondering about me. Not in a bad way. She refused to lead me astray. As much as I pleaded with her to."

Lexi smiled. "I was jealous of that you know. I thought you were taking my place in her life and I hated that. All she used to talk about was you."

Amie frowned. "What?"

"Well you and her ended up with this stupidly strong bond far more than I had with her. All I am is her niece but your practically her daughter. I disliked that!"

"Miss never saw it like that. She loves us all." Amie defended.

"Who does she love the most Amie?"

"Lexi your being daft. Miss doesn't play favourites. She never has."

Lexi shrugged. "How do you feel about mum Ames. you never seem to mention her anymore."

"You mean?" Amie hinted.

"I dunno. Just how do you feel." Lexi asked.

"She left us - that's how I feel."

"And you were only a child."

"I don't have any memories of her Lex. Nothing."

"Really? Oh Ames."

"Don't dare feel sorry for me Lex!" Amie fumed. "I don't care!" she spat moodily.

"You can come to me Amie. I don't want this distance between us anymore." Lexi told her softly. "Anything at all I'm here."

"I don't need you Lex. I don't mean that in an awful way. I just have Miss and my other friends in England. I'd feel more comfortable talking to them."

Lexi exhaled. She tried and Amie just knocked her back.

"You it's weird." Amie murmured looked at her. "How mum and dad were so perfect together yet your like dad and I'm like mum and we can't stand to be in the same room as each other."

"We're doing pretty well right now." Lexi said.

But for how long? Amie wondered silently.

"I don't want that anymore. I was us to get along."

"Lex." Amie said simply. "Don't you think it might just be best to cut your losses. Let's face it I'm likely to get myself blown up or shot or knifed in the army anyway. I mean on my second mission I was almost killed. Not exactly the best of starts is it?"

Lexi shook her head, "Don't talk like that Amie."

"Why not. Dad thinks like that. If he trusted me to be able to look after myself then maybe I wouldn't doubt me. Maybe if he trusted me fully he'd let me go!"

"Dad loves you same as us all."

Lexi jumped to the defence of their father as she always did. Full on daddies girl even now! Amie thought distastefully.

"You know my thoughts on that matter."

Lexi lost her temper. "Why do I even bother with you? How can you think dad doesn't love you?"

"I've told you not to bother with me Lexi! But you never listen." Amie yelled back. "And I don't think he doesn't love me I know!"

(X)

Missy heard raised voices coming from the living room. "Again?" she muttered. They're worse then kids! "I'll sort them." Fight night round 2. What was gonna be injured next?

"No Miss. I heard Lex say my name. I'm involved in this some way. I'll sort them." Danny told her. It was past time he sorted his differences with Amie. He walked from his room and heard angry voices.

"You know what Amie your right I do hate you. So go off and play soldier see if I care!" Lexi yelled.

Little hot head! Danny thought as Lexi walked in the opposite direction to him. He walked in the living room and saw Amie sat with her head in her hands. Amie must have heard his approach.

"Back to take more pot shots…..o dad. I'll leave you alone." Amie said stood up.

"Amie we need to sort this out baby."

"Why do people always want tot talk? I was happy as I was without talking!"

"I'm not happy with my daughter thinking I didn't want her or love her."

"Fine I don't think that anymore. You can go!"

"Talk to me Amie." he coaxed.

"All us talking does is get us angry. Then we say things we don't mean." Amie said softly.

"If we get angry then we'll stop." he assured.

She nodded and he sat opposite her in silence. Both waited for the other to start.

"What up with you and Lexi." Danny asked.

"Pass." Amie said dryly.

He frowned.

"What is going on between me and Lexi is between us." Amie told him. "Plus this is supposed to be about US not her. Trust you to bring her into this!" she said on a breath. "God forbid you should remember you have 2 daughters not one!"

"I don't like you two arguing or fighting!" he said obviously he hadn't heard her little mini rant.

"Look father." she said coldly. "SHE came to me. I TOLD her to leave me alone what the matter? Scared in case I hurt you FAVOURITE daughter?" Amie spat putting the emphasis on certain words. Se exhaled. "Right I'm angry. I'm off!"

"Amie Lexi isn't my favourite daughter. I don't have one."

"I hate liars dad!" she said dryly.

"For Gods sake Amie!" he declared exasperated.

"Your angry now too. You said if we got angry…."

He exhaled. "Give me a minute!"

"If we start this again I want no mention of Lexi!" she fumed.

Lexi walked in the room livid. "Why not?" she yelled.

"God! Can people not just leave me alone? You are pushing me over the edge!" Amie asked in disbelief.

"I come to say sorry for losing my temper and I find you bad mouthing me to dad!" Lexi fumed.

"I was not bad mouthing you! I didn't want to talk about you!"

Lexi's eyes darkened.

"Lex calm down." Danny coaxed.

"O yeah dad go to her. Take her side!" Amie spat. "You WERE talking to me. Never mind huh?" Amie's arms crossed.

"Amie…" he began.

"Oh don't bother no. "she yelled. "Go to see to Lexi. Run along!"

"O is little Amie jealous that daddy showed attention to someone else?" Lexi asked in a goading baby voice.

Amie stood up sharply. "Shut up before I break your jaw!"

"C'mon then big girl. Show me what you can do!" Lexis aid cockily.

Amie steeped forward and Danny stood between them. Arms at opposite ends. "BOTH of you need to cool off!"

"Dad, move." Amie told him. "We'll sort this ourselves won't we Lex. Same way we always do."

"It's the only means of communication you understand. Talking doesn't penetrate with you!"

"How would you know Lex you don't know me!" she yelled breathing heavily. "You don't know me. Dad doesn't know me. Nobody knows me!" she finished softly. Defeated. She was so sick of this crap!

"Coz you don't let anybody in Amie." Lexi said in a equally soft tone. Her anger had dissolved too.

The 3 people stood and looked at each other for a moment. Amie broke the silence.

"Well this has been fun. Let's NOT do it again huh?" she said sarcastically. Using humour as a means of escape. She walked passed them and into the kitchen. Grabbed a glass and poured some juice, even though she didn't want it. She just needed something to do. To busy her hands.

Her dad walked in and she ignored him.

"Why don't you let us in Amie?"

Amie turned and leaned against the counter. Looked down into her juice. Like she could find the answer in the orange depths. "What's the point of letting you in?" she looked at him. "What the point of letting anyone in?"

"Coz we're your family and we love you. So we can help and support you when you need it. So you know your not alone." he told her. Willing her to understand. He wasn't the best person when it came to words. He faltered a lot.

"I tried to let you in dad. I wanted to let you in. I needed to be included as a child!" she said sadly. "Do you know how it feels to be invisible dad? When it seems that the people around you look right through you?" she swallowed thickly. She had grabbed out at the one person who actually acted like she existed. Missy.

"Amie." he exhaled.

She shook her head. Again he disregarded it.

"When you were little I….struggled with you. We lost all those years when you were a baby and I still have no memory of you. I hate that! Then we got close. Then we lost your mother. You looked so much like her and it hurt you know. Then alone came Miss and I fell for her." he exhaled. "Amie you were like this reminder that I was betraying your mother."

"But I didn't say anything. I loved Miss even then. I wanted her to stay. I even told you to marry her remember!"

"I know. It was all in my head. And I tried. Sometimes we did have our little father daughter moments. I got over those thoughts but I never knew how to approach you. I mean yeah if you needed help with school work or anything else but the emotional stuff. By the time those thoughts were gone it was too late. I convinced my self that our relationship would improve over time and I left things the way they were."

She stood pondering his words. He finally admitted it then. How did she feel about that? "I needed you dad!" she finally said. Her eyes glistened. "I felt like I lost both of you!"

"I know baby." he said. "I'm so sorry!"

She exhaled. Looked at the floor for a moment. Looked him in the eyes. "You need to trust me dad." she murmured. They had made progress. She had to try.

He nodded.

"And to get to know me." she added.

"I'll try." he promised.

"When you know me you'll understand why going back into the army is the best thing for me. Why it's important."

"Oh Amie!" he said pained.

She slammed her juice down. It sploshed over the side onto her hand. She glared at him.

"Why is it so important to you?"

"I told you at Shauna's dad!" she fumed. Anger slowly building.

'_Give him a chance Amie. You promised me and Missy!' her mother's voice reminded softly._

"I'm good at it. Or I thought I was." she reminded softly. Her voice neutral

She could see the wheels turning In her dad's mind.

"Look dad. I had this bad experience right. The worst of my life! Don't you understand I need to go back to prove I can! I can't give up coz of that. It isn't who I am. I'm stronger then that. I can't let fear control me."

Danny felt admiration fill him. Admiration and pride.

"Wow Amie." he murmured. Lost for words a second.

She frowned. Misinterpreted his meaning.

"So your scared?" he asked. His daughter wasn't scared of anything. He remembered her at 6 seeing down 2 8 year olds. At 12 scrapping with 3 15 year olds. Got the pasting of her life but walked away. Seen them again and told them they didn't keep her down. She never showed if she was scared.

"Of course I'm scared dad!" she told him. "I'm terrified that it's gonna happen again. That next time I won't be strong enough. Or that I'll get out there and freeze up. Only a fool wouldn't be. It's cured me of some of my cocky side. I think more now. Analyse situations instead of going in full steam ahead. I've learned something. I can't let it stop me. I need to prove I can do this."

Danny looked at her. Something just clicked into place in his mind. Finally he understood a part of his daughters life. At home she always felt like she had something to prove. By just being there. And it was his fault. In the army she didn't, until now. She had to do this or she would wonder if they thought she was weak. He nodded. "Just promise me you'll take care of yourself ok!"

Amie looked at him. Trying to figure out what angle he was coming from. "Dad?"

"You have my support in this. One hundred percent!"

She frowned weary. "Do you really mean that dad?" she whispered. This was all she had ever wanted. Her dad's support in something she cared about.

He nodded. "Yeah. I'm sorry I didn't give you it from the start." he told her.

"Thanks." she choked out.

"I guess this is a start?" he asked.

She nodded and shot him a small smile. She felt a little teary. It was the first time her dad ever did this and she didn't know what to do.

He walked over and hugged her close. "I do love you Amie. And I'm proud of you. Your amazing. This is me talking to you not mini Alice." he whispered and kissed the top of her head.

Amie nodded and wrapped her arms around her dad. No more words were necessary.

Danny saw Missy in the hallway smiling. He smiled back and she left father and daughter alone.

**A/N awww hopefully danny and amie are all sorted i say hopefully coz this story isn't finished yet so i dunno lol. hope u enjoyed this chapter x**


	42. Make UpBreak Up

**An Hour Later**

Amie walked down to Lexi's hut. Unsure of what to say but she was batting 2 for 2 today so she decided to go for 3. I mean this sorta thing come in 3 right? Or maybe Lexi would smack her in the mouth. She didn't know. She just knew didn't want this anymore. She wanted to come home to a close family. Like she guessed was here when her mother was alive. And she was starting to feel like she was included. She didn't feel fully included but her talk with her dad helped. He wasn't such a bad guy, he just did some stuff wrong. And she still hung onto this infantile belief that all parents had to be perfect and they weren't. Parents had flaws too but he wanted what was best for her and that was what counted right? Her hug with her dad. How long had it been since he had hugged her like that? Like she was a little girl again. She saw a light burning in the hut. She walked up the stairs. Saw Lexi sat on the bed reading a letter.

"Look Lex I'm…."

She saw Lexi turn quickly and swipe at tears that glistened on her cheeks.

"Lexi?" Amie asked concerned.

"I'm ok Amie. Go away!" she sniffed and more tears fell. It was hopeless to try and stop them. They ignored her command and trickled relentlessly.

Amie started to back off. Then stopped. No distance Ames. she reminded herself. "You think you might wanna talk about it?" Amie asked nervously. Her hands were behind her back and she fidgeted.

"With you?" Lexi asked in disgust.

Amie temped down the hurt that rose up. And bit back a sharp retort. "I'm here." she replied softly. Her blue eyes unsure now.

Lexi stayed quiet. With her back to Amie. Head bowed.

"Look Lex." Amie carried on. "Well I just came to say that I'm sorry. About everything stuff I said and did now and in the past. And if you ever need me I'm a phone call away. You know like to talk or ask an opinion or…." she paused. "Like a kidney or something."

Lexi looked back at her confused. "Kidney?"

"Well yeah. We're sisters and if your fails I'd let you have mine. One of them anyway!"

Lexi couldn't suppress a small smile. Shook her head. "Thanks Amie. I love you as well."

"But I don't get a kidney?" Amie hinted playfully.

"Let me think about it." Lexi replied.

"Well that was…" Amie started and began to turn.

"The letter is from Ethan!" Lexi blurted.

Amie turned and faced her sister once again. Lexi was sat on the bed now cross legged.

Lexi exhaled. Swallowed thickly. "There is no sign of Zoey anywhere. He doesn't even know if she's still in South Africa or ali…." Lexi couldn't finish the word. Inhaled deeply. "He said he misses us but he can't give up. He's gonna regroup and start again. He refuses to come home without her!"

"That's tough on you and EJ." Amie murmured and sat beside her.

"Ethan isn't thinking about EJ! He needs his dad!"

"And you need him too. It's obvious how your reacting that strong feelings are still there."

"He's the father of my kids. A part of me will always love him for that reason. I've loved him since I was 15. It's hard to stop that." Lexi said more to herself. "I'll be ok. I've got to be. For EJ." Lexi said heart breaking.

This wasn't Amie's area of expertise. She had never even been in love before. O she thought she was deeply and madly in love when she was a kid but looking back no way. She didn't share what her dad have with Missy. Or what Lexi had with Ethan. Where a single look spoke more than a hundred words ever could. She wasn't capable of loving someone like that. It was all too intense. Amie didn't do intense. Amie was more a love em and leave em type of girl. Never getting too involved. One day though…she thought wistfully. Maybe she would settle down. Back to the matter at hand! Help Lex! She chided herself.

Amie removed the letter from Lexi's hands folded it and placed in a drawer. Hugged her sister. Lexi hugged her back. Wow Missy was right! Amie thought. This hugs bit really did work!

"How about you come up to house and watch me kick ass on the kinect huh? Ryan was pissed I beat him on boxing. And I'm showing EJ the finer points of need for speed." Amie cackled. "Meaning he's eating my dust!"

Lexi wiped her eyes. Composed herself now that the letter was out of sight. "Bet that went down well."

Amie smiled and shrugged. "The boy thought he was the best. Till I usurped his crown!"

"He won't back down!" Lexi warned with a smile. "He'll keep going til he beats you now."

"He's a blatant Trevanion then. We don't back down!" Amie said proudly. She was proud of who she was and her family.

Lexi nodded.

"Ethan and Zoey are Trevanion's too you know." it made no difference to Amie that Ethan was adopted into it. He was one of them same as Daniel, Ryan and her. "He'll find her and bring her home. She's stubborn and so is he."

Lexi nodded. Squeezed Amie's hand. They stood up.

"I'm here when you need me too Ames."

"I know." Amie replied. "There is one thing that bothers me though Lex." Amie told her.

"What?" Lexi asked hesitantly.

Amie grinned. "Why the hell I'm the one who ended up on the short end of the gene pool. How come your like 6 foot and I'm barely 5 and half. SO not fair."

"Take that up with dad!" Lexi laughed.

Amie laughed beside her.

That was the last said on the subject. They walked side by side up to the house.

(X)

Daniel stood in his surgery. Checking the animals. Amy had been hiding away somewhere. She hadn't set foot in here since she said she was going. His sister Amie's comments had really hit home. Abopout crying over his girlfriend. If she left then she left. He'd go on with his life and try not to miserable without her. His family didn't deserve to see him like that. He just couldn't chase this sadness away.

Amy walked into the surgery. Saw Daniel checking the animals. Lost in pensive thought. She decided not to disturb him and went to walk out. She was sorta scared in case she ran into Missy too. Her idea's wouldn't leave and kept trying to make them true in her head. that was making her stupidly angry.

Daniel turned. "Come to say goodbye and bottling it?"

"Daniel I'm not leaving coz of you. It's uni. I have a life somewhere else."

He looked at her. Studied her face. "Tell yourself that often enough and you'll believe it. Don't try and lie to me though!"

She exhaled. Why was he being confrontational. She just wanted to…..she didn't know what she wanted but she didn't wanna argue she knew that much!

"If you cared you could transfer down to Jo'burg and we could be together. I know you feel something. That you care."

She more than cared. That was the problem. "Daniel I have friends at Newcastle. A life there."

"You have us here. I'm your friend. Amie, Lexi. We're practically family! You have no idea how much you mean to me." he added on a whisper.

Amy's throat constricted. It hurt to swallow.

"Please Daniel…." she exhaled. "This is hard enough."

He nodded. "I get it Amy. I'm sorry. It's just…it hurts."

They stood and looked at each other for a second. "It's best that we quit now." God those words almost choked her! "See it would be so much worse if we were to fall in love. Then…"

"If?" he asked. "Amy I think I'm already there!" he turned his back on her.

Amy had no idea what to say or do. What did you do when someone said that to you? "Daniel you might think…."

"Amy." he spun around. "If I didn't love you then why am I considering moving to Newcastle?"

"You'd do that?" she squeaked.

"I'm considering it Amy. That's what scares me. I'd never had done that, leave my family. But the idea came to me and you know what it keeps getting more appealing by the second. All I can think is it'll work coz I'll be near to you!" shook his head. "I'm a fool!" he muttered.

"Whoa!" was all she whispered.

"Thanks." he said sarcastically. Scribbled his notes. He admitted that and all she could say was whoa? Not the reaction he wanted. He walked into his office and shut the door. She saw his back rested against the glass.

Ohmigod Daniel loved her? No way. He couldn't. A few weeks ago he hated her! A few weeks ago she hated him! She didn't go through extremes of emotion like that! How was that that your emotions could change like that and not tell you! She was willing to admit that from the first time she saw him step out of the car that she thought he was good looking. His eyes were endless and his smile was so contagious that you couldn't help but smile back and that was when her brain wasn't turning to mush! But see that was physical! Thinking someone was gorgeous had nothing to do with feelings!

She thought of his face when he said he thought he loved her. He looked so sincere... Well maybe it wouldn't be too hard to transfer down…..Amy stop right there! What are you doing? She silently yelled at her self. Fair enough you would be near Daniel but what about when you broke up which you inevitably would. You'd be stuck in Jo'burg all alone. Friendless in a foreign country! Not to mention Missy with her seriously freaky idiot ideas! Then there was Danny who abandoned her. Although she wasn't gonna seek any revenge anymore she still couldn't stay.

She walked out of the surgery. Head all over the place. She really liked him and didn't want to leave but what other choice did she have? Stay and get her heart obliterated. Well she could show him she cared before she went! What could it hurt? It's not like your seeing anyone else. And it's not like you'll be seeing him again. Mind made up she strode back into the surgery. Before she could bottle it she walked right up to him grabbed his face tenderly and pulled him down for a toe curling kiss. She felt him respond immediately.

"Do you…" Amy's voice was broken off by an interruption.

"Amy can I…..um….This could be a bad time." Missy said awkwardly. When she saw Amy in Daniel's arms.

Amy pulled away. Crossed her arms as she looked at Missy. "What do you want Melissa?"

"We can talk later. Finish what you….um I'll go yeah?"

Amy turned and looked up at Daniel. "It was nice knowing you." reached up and kissed his cheek.

He closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Goodbye Amy." he said coolly.

Amy walked towards Missy. "Well Melissa?"

"She hates that name." Daniel mentioned as they walked out.

**A/N ooooo this is actually the first half but it was getting really long so i cut it off here. trust me this diesn not end well :/ keep reading.  
BUT at least amie and lex have made up. amie even offered her a kidney :D x thanks 4 reading **


	43. Bad Decisions

Missy walked alongside Amy. They stopped in a clearing. Far away from the house and surgery that they wouldn't be heard but they could be seen if any animals came. Missy glanced up at the house and saw the lights burning.

"You had time to calm down." Missy stated.

Amy rolled her eyes. "If I haven't?" determined not to give her an opening at all!

"This is hard for me. I'm not used to…..struggling with what to say. I usually yes humour to diffuse situations like this but that is completely inappropriate at the moment." Missy murmured.

She was like that. In both ways. Amy pondered. Then disregarded it. Why was she making comparisons?

"And I've got the strongest feeling that is telling me to run. Like….get on a plane and travel. To clear my head. I did that a lot when I was your age. Just took off." she added.

God. That was another something else she did. Not the travelling but she ran for the hills if something rattled her.

"Amy look. I always told myself that if I found you and you were happy. Healthy with parents who loved you I wouldn't disrupt your life. It wouldn't have been a good interruption. I don't want to mess up your life or to mess with your head. But Amy you haven't got parents who love you. You may be healthy but you don't seem very happy."

"Shut up Melissa. Don't pretend to know me!" Amy spat.

"Look we both need proof as to whether you are or not."

"No I don't coz I already know!" Amy told her simply.

"Fine I need proof. I don't want to abandon you again." Missy told her. Pulled a white envelope out of her pocket. "Someone supplied it for me." she whispered and handed it over.

Amy frowned at the envelope. Looked at it hesitantly.

"Look inside." Missy told her calmly.

It was already tore open. Amy took the letter and removed the sheet of paper inside. Unfolded it. Read.

'Miss Trevanion. The two samples we received are directly related. Blood relatives. Mrs Melissa Trevanion and Amy Robinson are biologically related. Mother and daughter.'

Amy read the rest of the letter but it didn't penetrate. She thinks it said something along the lines of thanking them for using the service. They did a DNA test behind her back? Wait a minute! They did a DNA test. BEHIND HER BACK! Anger filled her. The letter fluttered to the ground.

"How and when did you do this?" Amy asked coldly.

"I didn't. I don't know who did." she answered. Except she did know. She wasn't starting trouble for Amie.

"Who knew your crazy ideas?"

"Not so crazy. They are true!" Missy said calmly.

"WHO?" Amy yelled.

"I'll talk when your calm. I won't have fighting in the house."

"Miss Trevanion means Lexi or Amie. I'm leaning towards the latter. Am I right?"

"Don't do anything Amy. They were doing me a favour. But its' the proof we needed. It corroborates what I told you."

Amy's whole body was shaking uncontrollably. "Leave me alone Melissa. All that is, is a letter which I didn't see!"

"I told you running away was a trait of mine. I told you we were alike." Missy told her seriously.

"I'm not like you I'm like me!" Amy seethed.

"Look Amy is there anything you wanna know about? Your father? My - our family?"

It was the final word that did it. Amy had no family. Never had and never did. Wherever she went, whoever she interacted with she was never fully included. Always an outsider. The simple use of that one word made her explode.

"Shut up! I have NO family!" she yelled and lashed out in her rage. Caught Missy in the mouth.

Amy just stood there fists clenched breathing heavily. Waiting for Missy to start something.

Missy meanwhile spat the blood that had filled her mouth on the dusty ground. A split lip to go with her bruised jaw. She was doing well today.

"I deserved that but you get one free swipe only." Missy told her softly.

"Or what mother?" Amy asked coldly. The name a sneer.

"Nothing. I'll just stop you. What? You thought I'd hit you back. Sorry but I don't hit my kids. And I know that's what you want. It's what I would have wanted." Missy looked her in the eye.

"You know what I'm gone!" Amy fumed. "I'm leaving for good. Second goodbye mother!" Again the name was spat with disdain. Turned to walk towards her hut.

"What about your brother?" Missy asked pointedly.

Amy froze. Brother? She'd never had a sibling. Turned. "Brother?" she asked softly

"You know him. Ryan. He's 12."

She suppressed a smile. A small one still appeared on her face. Wow she had a little brother! She'd never had siblings before. Always wanted one but she had no parents so…..she squashed the feeling. She was still an orphan. So no brother! "I don't care. I hate all of you!"

"You DO sound like me." Missy told her. "I said those exact words to my mother often when I was your age."

Amy turned back. Fists clenched. Right she had finally pushed her far enough!

(X)

Amie was walking towards the house with Lex when she looked back and saw Missy with Amy. She felt a stab of jealousy when she saw her talking to the other Amy. Then she lashed out. Amy froze when she saw Missy spit blood on the floor. Amy's fists clenched and she saw red. Who did she think she was laying her hands on her mother? If she laid one hand on her Amie was gonna rearrange her face.

"I'll be straight up Lex." she promised.

"What Amie?" Lexi asked and looked.

Amie stomped down with purpose. Missy and Amy looked normal so Lexi continued up to the house.

As Amie grow closer she heard Amy yelling. Then her face turned deadly.

"No way!" Amie murmured and ran toward them in a dead out sprint.

Something was hitting the fan. She ran over coz she knew that Missy wouldn't hit back. She didn't hit her kids. Restrained them for their own good. Yelled at them - yes. But she never raised her hands. She reached over grabbed Amy from behind by the shoulders and tripped her. She was soon on the ground and pinned. Not tightly. Just so she couldn't get up. She struggled.

"You go for my mum again and I'll tear you to shreds Ok?" Amie hissed coldly. "Are we clear?"

"Amie." Missy began. "Let her up."

Amie frowned at her.

"MUM?" Amy yelled fought harder. "O I see Melissa. You replaced me with an Amie of your very own! How lovely for you!"

Amie was tempted to press down and hurt her a little for speaking to Melissa like that. She looked up asking for permission. Missy shook her head and pointed up.

Amie released her slowly. And backed off. Stood beside Missy and crossed her arms. Glared at Amy for effect.

"Next time come at my face and see what I do to you!" Amy shouted spoiling for a fight.

Amie just smiled cockily.

Amy's fists clenched tighter. "How about I wipe that smile right off your face?"

Amie glanced over and saw Missy sending her pleading looks. She nodded slightly. "I'm not fighting you Amy. I was protecting my mum who I love. If you had any sense you would love her too!"

"Yeah well she didn't abandon you did she? You don't know what that's like!" Amy yelled.

Amie laughed at her. "Your being funny right?"

Amy realised something. "Wait a minute it was you wasn't it? You did the DNA test? I'm not even gonna ask how. Guess you get your sneaky side from her?"

Right Amie had taken enough insults for today. She had restrained herself but this stupid little idiot was pushing her and she wasn't in the mood. Especially after seeing what she was gonna do to Missy.

Amie lowered her head and her eyes zeroes on Amy's. "I took the sample off Daniels face. You spend enough time with your face attached to his!"

Amy's face flushed with anger.

Missy looked between then nervously.

"That is nothing to do with you! And neither does how I treat my mother you knowing seeing as your not related!"

Missy felt Amie stiffen at her side. "Amie cool down baby." Missy murmured.

Amie looked between them. "It doesn't matter anyway. You can have her. I'm gone!"

"Amy." Missy said rubbed her face.

"Leave her Miss. She isn't worth it!" she yelled behind her.

"RIGHT!" Amy yelled. Walked towards Amie quickly. "I have had just about enough of both of you!"

Missy stood between them. Arm's at either side.

"I have no problem taking you out to get to her. Amy raised her fist.

"You dare!" Amie screamed.

Missy took a solid blow to the side of the head. Right to her temple. She wobbled and grabbed her head. Exhaled in pain.

"You just did the wrong thing!" Amie told her lowly.

Before they could get into it Lexi and Daniel were there pulling them apart. Lexi had her sister and Danny had Amy.

"C'mon you two."

"I knew something was up!" Lexi said softly. Pulling Amie away. "God I tried to fight you? I Must have been out of my mind!" Lexi whispered to her .

"Watch what happens!" Amie yelled. "I swear when I get my hands on you your dead!"

"We'll see who gets the best!" the other Amy replied.

Amy twisted from Danny's hold. Stalked away in the opposite direction to them. Missy was stood upright rubbing her head. One eyes closed. "What happened here?"

"We'll talk at the house." she winced as a wave of pain hit her head. "After I have painkillers!"

"Miss what do you get yourself into?" he whispered and put his arm around her shoulders.

"Tell me about it." she replied.

(X)

Amy was shaking with anger as she walked away. She walked towards her hut.

"Amy?" Daniel called when he saw her tense posture. Her clenched fists. She didn't look back just kept walking. "Go away!" she shouted.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly. Jogged to her side.

"Nothing!" she fumed.

He grabbed her hand. Stopped her and turned so she faced him.

"What's wrong?" he repeated.

She looked at him for a second. "Everything." she whispered. Pulled her hand away and walked faster.

"Amy talk to me."

"Talking is over rated." she told him angrily.

"Let me cheer you up then." he suggested.

"How do you plan on doing that?" she asked sarcastically.

"I do great impressions.!" he grinned. "Look," he changed his stance and his face turned blank, his voice high pitched "I'm a gorgeous vet. But where does this human face mask go? On the animal?" he had his hand on his jaw considering for a second. His eyes twinkled with good humour. "Guess who?"

"If it's me I'll kick your ass!" she warned. Still slightly angry but it was slowly dissipating at his playful attitude and smile.

"Ok I decline to answer." he laughed softly. "To save my ass!" he elaborated.

"Hey!" she said and cuffed his arm softly.

"What's up Amie?" he asked taking her hand and twining it with his. He knew he shouldn't but he couldn't help it. He loved her. "I might be able to help."

They walked up the stairs to his hut. She didn't want to release his hand so he walked up there with her.

"Nothing Daniel. I'm just an…angry person."

"No your not." he told her seriously. "Come to think of it your a lot like Miss. Always happy."

Her eyes darkened.

"Your angry face is sexy." he murmured. Ran his finger down her cheek. "Your eyes flash. It changes your whole face."

She froze. Did he mean for his voice to turn seductive or what this normal? She swallowed thickly.

"Scratch that, your face is shocked now. I like that too. I like any face you pull."

Why did he keep doing this to her? Making her want him even though she couldn't have him.

He exhaled. Lowered his hand from her face. Released her hand. "Look I'd better…."

She felt a flash of fear. She was losing him. She didn't want that. She took a chance. She was leaving tomorrow anyway going back to halls. She wanted to make a nice memory before she gone.

"Don't go Daniel. Stay the night with me."

"As much as I want that." he pulled her close and kissed her once. "I don't have anything with me and I always use it." Too scared of what his dad would do if he didn't. He'd heard the horror story from Lex and Ethan.

"I'm ok if that's what your worried about. I'm always careful too." She was willing to forget that tonight….for him.

He froze considering. His face pained. "And there's the morning after pill." he whispered.

She was killing him. And he was killing her. This time they wouldn't….

"You sure?" he asked. If she turned him down he'd die!"

She kissed him heatedly in reply.

**A/N this chapter was cut like the prev one coz it was like 5500 words long :O the last 3 chapters have been so full. but see everything has been leading up to this. then there's a lil 'break' chapter later and there's another 'blow up'. keep readin to see what i have planned x  
You do know that amy is gonna break daniels heart through right? **


	44. Already Gone

**Kelly Clarkson Already Gone**

_Looking at you makes it harder_  
_But I know that you'll find another_  
_That doesn't always make you wanna cry_  
_It started with the perfect kiss then_  
_We could feel the poison set in_  
_"Perfect" couldn't keep this love alive_  
_You know that I love you so_  
_I love you enough to let you go_

(X)  
**  
**Amy came awake slowly. Something was tickling her nose and she wrinkled it. It tickled more. She opened her eye and was looking at a mans chest. Her arms were rested across his stomach and he had hers tightly around her. Her legs were tangled in his. His head was above hers and she could feel his breath on her hair. Meanwhile her head was rested on his chest. She moved back a little and looked at his profile in sleep. He looked so ….she exhaled. God this had been such a bad idea! Way to go away. Give yourself another reason to stay. She felt all warm and fuzzy when she looked at him and given the chance she's just lay here and hug him all morning. She had never spent the whole night with a man before. Usually they went back to his or hers and then left. Why did she have to love him? It made her leaving so much harder. She reached up and pressed a soft final kiss to his lips. So soft he didn't feel it. She might not have even done it. Then climbed from her bed. He groaned and turned.

"I'll be a minute." she lied.

He rolled onto his stomach and settled. "I love you Amy." he told her sleepily. He had told her last night too before they fell asleep. Last night had been a night for declarations. She gave him the same reply as last night too.

"I love you too Daniel." she replied quietly. Felt her heart breaking. The sting of tears burned her eyes. She refused to let them fall. Pulled the brush through her hair. Dressed and grabbed her case. One lone tear slid down her cheek. It refused to obey her no crying order.

"Amy don't." he called. She looked and saw him sat up.

She exhaled. Not now please not now! She pleaded silently. She didn't know if she was strong enough.

"What was last night?" he asked.

"Las night was wonderful."

He nodded.

"But…."

"What's so hard. We love each other. It'll work!"

"I'm sorry but I've got to go back. I do love you Daniel. Goodbye."

He flopped back on the bed. He tried. Put himself on the line. He thought what they shared last night was the start of something. More like a parting gift! He clenched his fist and pounded the bed. It had meant something to him. He'd known as he fell asleep next to her that she was special. That he's never felt this way before. He'd thought this could have gone somewhere. He wasn't getting into too heavy stuff after one night but he'd believed that they would have stayed together. If her feelings were as strong as his then he was sure of it! He thought he'd been in love before but nothing had ever felt like this. And now she was leaving him - willingly. God his heart felt like it was about to explode in his chest. Or the place where his heart used to be felt like it was gonna explode. She was taking his heart with her.

(X)

Amy ordered a taxi and walked towards the house. It was still early so hopefully no one would be up and she could slip away.

She noticed Amie swagger cockily towards her. Good something else she had to sort before she went. Amy thought happily. This was another thing she regretted. Not getting Amie back. But she could now!

"Is Daniel in the surgery? Dad asked to tell him breakfast was ready. He isn't in his room." Amie told her stiffly. She had promised Missy no recriminations.

Amy didn't reply. Looked at her angrily.

"Your leaving then?" Amie motioned to her case."

"Not that it's any of your business!" Amy spat defiantly.

Amie exhaled. "You should give Missy a chance."

"No I shouldn't! Like I said she left me when I as a baby. I don't owe her anything!"

"Amy she's a good person she's just had problems. Stuff in her past…" Amie trailed off. If Missy wanted to tell her then she could. It wasn't Amie's place. "But after you get to know her you'll see…."

"I don't want to, I'm 21 I've never had a mother and don't need one now!"

"My mother left me when I was 6 Amy. It's only recently I realised how much I relied on Missy growing up and how much I still need her now."

"I've only ever need me. No one else!"

Amie shrugged. She had tried. "Daniel?"

"I seen him briefly this morning." Didn't want Amie having a go at him later.

Amie smirked at her and raised her eyebrows.

"Don't look at me like that!" Amy warned felt anger rise.

"I'm not…" Amy started.

Out of nowhere Amy threw a punch that connected straight with Amie's throat. She grabbed it and was on her knees on the ground.

O she wanted to start? Amie thought enraged. Moved and did a leg sweep. Saw Amy hit the floor. Amie moved and was above her. Had her arms pressed across her throat hard.

"No listen. You took me by surprise once! It'll never happen again. I'll give you this one coz I pinned you yesterday but I'm warning you Amy you hit me again and I'll have you! No one touches me and gets away with it!" she said in a deadly tone.

"You can try Amie!" Amy croaked.

They both glared angrily.

"Miss is better off without you. Don't worry I'll take your place. And another thing, stay away! Don't get in touch with Daniel! For whatever stupid reason he has feelings for you and he doesn't deserve to be messed around by you!" Amie warned.

"I'll do what I want!" Amy hissed. Like Amie wasn't holding her down.

Amie tightened the pressure. "What?"

"I'll do what I want!" she said through breathes. Not backing down.

Amie got up. Realised how close she was to hurting her. "I'm going to see my brother. Your hut yes?"

"I swear I'll get you back for that!" Amy warned.

"I look forward to it. Just give me a reason!" Amie smiled sardonically.

Amie walked towards the huts. Again swaggering cockily. The other Amy dusted herself off. Resisting the urge to go and have a fight with her. She had a plane to catch. Saw her taxi pull up. Just wait though! She was gonna get Amie back for what she did! No one told her what to do and no one laid hands on her and got away with it either!

(X) **A few days later**

Amie prowled around leopards Den restlessly. She went back to work tomorrow. Straight back in. Iraq. They had made an exception and briefed her over the phone. They asked her to come back early coz they were going in now, they were threatening to kill the hostages. She felt for them she really did. Had an idea of what they went through. God these intense thoughts were killing her. Her dad and Missy had pulled together an impromptu party for her. Ever since talking to them she was doing so much better. They were too. Now she had to deal with the doubts within herself. The ones she had been ignoring. Was she doing the right thing going back in the army? I mean God she nearly got herself killed in a foreign country! What if she flew a plane and crash landed again. What if she froze in the middle of a mission? Worst of all what if she had lost her bottle? If she was weak and scared? She spoke to Tom for a while today. And often over the last couple of days. He was back in there. Was stationed in Afghanistan. He was back in the thick of it and fine. What if she wasn't hat strong? What if she cracked up? What if she endangered everyone's lives? What if she had lied to everyone around her and herself? Maybe inside she was weak.

No Amie! You survived far more than anyone else could even think of. And she was still here. Still smiling. Although she'd been to Miss a few times when the dark cloud had descended. She had spoke to her a little of what happened in Borneo. Not about what happened in the play room though. That she kept locked inside. Miss didn't need to hear that. The more graphic stuff she had to keep to herself. It was to scary even thinking about letting it out. It was bad enough she had to see it in her head without having to put it into words. And then putting those images in someone's else's head. Plus Missy would be straight over there finding the people who done it. Not that any were alive!

So she wandered and found herself somewhere she hadn't visited in years. Her mothers final resting place. Fresh flowers there and her name plaque on the cross gleamed in the moonlight. Missy and her dad no doubt. They came down and put flowers down once a week. Missy came to talk sometimes when her dad stressed her out. Which was pretty much all the time.

Amie stood in a respectful silence for a moment. Let the sounds of the night wash over her. The bush was surprisingly quiet here. Like they knew. She had no idea what to say Should she leave? She decided against it quickly. Decided to wing it. Smiled at her pun. Felt stupid standing and sat down. Drew circles on the dusty ground.

"I guess I'll start with hello." she stated. "Novel idea huh?" laughed nervously. "Not the best but hey it's all I have." she frowned. "Why does this have to be so hard? I should have countless stuff to tell you."

The silence seemed to echo around her. She rubbed her hands together.

"You know I think dad put you in the wrong place. It's too quiet here. Boring. Then again if they put you near the lions it would be sorta hard to sit here and talk huh. More like run like hell!" she murmured. Then thought of Missy running away from a lion. Chuckled.

"You know mum there has been something that had been bothering me. Why did you help me? After everything I said? If someone told me that they hated me I'd be like fine screw you then you know? Apparently I inherited my love me or leave me attitude from you."

She exhaled and thought again. Decided to get stuff off her chest while she was here.

"Help me with Lexi yeah. She's hard. I just….she infuriates me. I love her but she grinds on my nerves! I swear I worry that we'll kill each other. Dad and Miss don't deserve it either. Especially Miss. She takes so much crap off us it's unreal! I think we're sorted now. It stems from the fact that I didn't know how to approach her as a teen. She was so hard to live up to you know. She was in her late 20's running around being superwoman. Super paramedic. Super mum. I felt like I was in her considerably tall shadow!" Frowned and shook her head. "I dunno if we'll ever be close but it's better then fighting every time we see each other huh?"

Amie let the seconds tick by.

"Well I'm grateful to you for what you did in Borneo. And to be home. It was a hard time and I guess I can admit now that I needed help. Since no one is around to tell anyone else. And I don't hate you anymore, but it's hard for me to say I love you because….well because I don't know you. Dad and Miss have tried but I have these gaps."

She shrugged. Drew more circles.

"Missy is good. Thank you for sending her to us. She is daft and has me as cracked as her but she's good. She's always there you know. Even when I was a brat as a kid. Or when I threaten to take her out in my haste to get to someone I wanna plant. She even took a punch off Lexi for me. That girl had a mean left hook! And yes I'm sorry for fighting with her." she said softly.

Heard her mother chiding her for fighting. It was a snatch of memory fleeting. When she fought with the twins. She finally had something. Her mother in the bathroom wiping her cuts, she held onto it tightly. Not wanting to let it go.

She heard a rustle behind her. Looked behind saw it was Daniel.

"Come to see mum?" he asked softly. Walked over and patted the cross softly.

She nodded.

"Do you miss her Daniel?" Amie asked.

He nodded. "She was the best. The one thing I remember most vividly was her hugs. They were… like just the nicest things, they were so open."

Amie nodded.

"Miss wants you." he added in a murmur.

He went to walk away. "Daniel."

"Yeah." he stopped and turned.

"I'm sorry Amy left you." she meant it. Her brother was in pieces. "I know you cared."

He exhaled and shrugged weakly.

"With anyone else that shrug might of worked." Amie told him.

"She's better where she is if she can't grow up and have an adult relationship." he said dryly not meaning it.

"How about we head to Fatani's. I can meet some guys and you can try to flirt with some girls. I should teach you how it's done. You pretty rubbish!" she liked party's but her dad and Miss would no doubt fuss. Escaping to Fatani's sounded pretty good!

He shook his head. "Not really. I don't feel like it."

"Daniel don't be depressed please. It's my last night before I go back."

"Ok. I'll cheer up. Just coz it's you." he said and tried to smile.

"That's the spirit!" she stood up and dusted herself off. "Anyway mum thanks and I'll be back. We'll try and make this a regular thing huh?"

"Talking to yourself again Ames?" he asked.

She elbowed him as she reached his side.

"First sign of insanity you know! Then again if I was you I'd be insane too. Preferable to the alternative!"

"Don't make me kick your ass Daniel" she warned laughing.

"You kick MY ass? Un uh. Little sis!"

"I've been kicking your ass since I was 12 years old!"

"You're a girl. I had to let you win!" he protested.

Amie scoffed. They carried on the light hearted banter into the distance and on in the house.

(X)

Right the morning of truth was here. Amie was stood on the veranda in her tan army suit. Like she was gonna blend in with the sand, her black hair? Yeah right! She dusted herself off again. She heard footsteps shuffling.

"Hey dad." she said before he appeared.

"Your gone soon huh?" he asked nervously.

"Yeah. They need to tell us what we need to do, we'll go in as soon as it's dark."

"You ok?" he asked. "About everything?"

"I will be. Just nerves. When I get in there I'll be fine."

They saw the helicopter in the distance.

"Your chariot is here." he whispered

"I love you dad." she promised.

"I love you too baby. Just bring yourself home ok. That all I ask."

"Easiest promise I've ever made! I'll see you soon."

As the helicopter landed he saw her stride over. She looked so sure and confident. Although her back was straight she walked loosely, cockily. He could see her arrogant smile in his head. He felt pride. Saw he joking on with her colleagues. Heard her laughter and then her push a man twice the size of her. Christ she's brave! He thought. Handled him easily. She looked over a final time as she strapped in and waved. Someone handed her a helmet and she pulled it on. Gave him a thumbs up.

He swallowed thickly and waved. The helicopter left the ground and Missy walked out waving madly. Amie waved through the window.

The helicopter flew off into the distance. And he stood watching till it turned into a dot. Then disappeared altogether. Missy wrapped her arms around him from behind.

He had nothing to say. His baby girl off to war - again.

"C'mon honey" was all Missy said. Took his hand and twined their fingers. He pulled their hands to his mouth and kissed it softly.

"She's your daughter." was all she whispered. That told him more than a million words ever could.

**A/N OK Recap. amie off the war. the other amy has left leopards den for good. daniel is heartbroken. missy and danny r fine. zoey is still missin and ethan is lookin 4 her.  
lets see what the furture holds for the occupants of leopards den. im recapping coz a time jump is happenin after the next chapter hope u enjoyed x**


	45. Last Chance Lost

**Back To Glasgow.**

Shauna and Alice were talking. "Why are you letting this happen Alice?"

Alice closed her eyes at Shauna's words. Hurt filled her body. "Look Shauna I'm not. I just….she spoke to me. Told me she didn't wanna live like this anymore. It was so hard hearing her say this stuff Shay but as far as she is concerned and the doctors know all they are doing is prolonging her pain by keeping her alive. She isn't getting better. Eventually her kidneys will pack in from the drugs or it'll get to the point where she doesn't recognise us anymore. I can't see my friend in pain like that anymore. Can you ?"

"But Alice she'll die.. Gone forever!" Shauna stressed.

"I know that Shay and it's breaking my heart but what other choice is there? We have to do what's best for her!"

"I don't want it to be just the two of us Alice." Shauna whispered. "We're too volatile on out own. We need her to help us loosen up!"

"Shay she doesn't have a choice. Do you really think she would chose this for herself?"

"Ok then Alice." Shauna said sadly. "What's next?"

Alice frowned. "We get in touch with Karl again. Ask him if there is any chance of him getting here soon. If there isn't then we'll see how Miss wants to play it." Alice exhaled. Knowing full well that if Karl couldn't get here.

"You know what she'll say don't you?" Shauna whispered.

Alice nodded.

"And we can't stop her?" Shauna asked.

Alice shook her head.

(X)

They had rang Karl. He had no way of getting there. The planes were still grounded in Australia for the duration. Alice had spoke to him at length. Explained Missy's prognosis and her choice. Also what the doctor told them. He agreed that was what best for Missy took precedence. Alice had then taken the phone to Missy. He left them alone as they said their goodbyes. She went and rang Danny and cracked up over the phone. He said he'd come but she asked him to stay at home. Missy was in no state to be seeing loads of people. Just the three of them. This was how they started and it looks like that's what it would be like at Missy's end. When they returned Missy was sleeping again. This was how they stayed.

Alice yawned widely. Shook her head to dislodge the fatigue she felt. Ran her hands through her hair and stretched.

"Alice when was the last time you had a full nights sleep?" Shauna asked.

"Dunno." she spent her time venting with her writing or with Missy. When she did sleep it was mostly dark painful images. Like Missy's funeral. Or Lexi's cancer. Or even Josh. She hadn't dreamt him for years! God Miss shouldn't be dying so soon! She was only 42. It was too young. She still had loads to do. Her kids. Her business. How were everyone supposed to go on without her? She was the glue. She and Shauna would argue and she was the one that held the 3 of them together.

"She sleeps now more then she's awake." Alice murmured. "She doesn't have long left."

Shauna stayed quiet. Disliked how they were giving up so easily.

Missy exhaled loudly. Opened her eyes slowly.

"She finally decides to wake." Alice said dryly with a forced smile.

Missy looked between them slowly. Took in their appearances.

"Miss?" Shauna asked worriedly.

"Wh….who are you?" She asked on a breath. "I don't…"

Shauna and Alice looked at each other in horror.

Missy laughed softly. "You should see your faces. I got you both good! Like I'd forget you. It'd be like forgetting my kids!"

Alice smiled shaking her head.

"You got a sick sense of humour Miss!" Shauna drawled.

"Your just jealous I thought of it."

"O yeah Miss." Shauna replied.

Missy looked around. "No Karl?"

"You spoke to him on the phone a few hours ago Miss." Alice reminded.

"Did I?" she asked. "My head's getting fuzzy." she admitted. Rubbed her head.

"He's not gonna get here Miss." Alice said softly.

She nodded. "It's best this way."

"How do you feel now?"

"Weary." she admitted. "Just tired all the time."

"I need to speak to you Alice. About stuff."

Alice frowned. "You told me already."

"About…." glanced at the machines.

"Yeah. Yesterday." Alice murmured scared.

"You tell the doctors then?"

Alice nodded.

"I can't believe that your giving up. YOU of all people!" Shauna who sat quietly finally exploded.

"Shauna!" Alice hissed. "I'll plant you!"

"NO! This need to be said. Don't give up Miss please!" Shauna pleaded.

"Shauna I'm trying. I've thrown everything I have at it. The doctors said they don't even know how I'm awake the massive head trauma I suffered. I'm not superwoman. Some things you just can't fight. If I could I would!"

"Well I don't believe it. I just won't. and I won't say goodbye either!" she stormed from Missy's room.

"We'll let her cool off huh?" Alice suggested.

Missy closed her eyes for a second. "Get her Alice." she said and exhaled a breath. "She'll never….forgiver herself." her eyes turned she opened her eyes again.

"NO Miss. Not this soon!" Alice said in denial.

"Close." was the only word she could manage. Her eyes half open. "Get her." inhaled. "Drag her if you have to!"

Alice nodded and ran out of the room. Missy lay calmly trying to control her breathing.

Alice caught up with Shauna. "Get back in there!" Alice yelled. "She's dying!"

"No!" Shauna said stubbornly. "I refuse to believe that!"

"Let her have her goodbyes!" Alice demanded.

"I don't want to!" Shauna yelled.

"And if she dies. Don't you want the chance to her you love her?"

"I'm going home. I haven't been there much and Jamie needs his mum."

Alice grabbed her upper arms and dragged her towards Missy's room.

(X)

Missy lay in her room. Black spots appeared in front of her eyes. No not yet! She pleaded silently. Her breathing slowly grew shallower and frantic beeping started. Her hearing slowly grew silent. All she could hear was a faint buzzing. The spots were becoming larger until all she saw was a sheet of blank in front of her eyes. Then a sharp blinding white light encompassed her.

"I love you all." she whispered. "I'm sorry." then exhaled her final breath….alone.

(X)

Alice hard a loud whining and nurses running towards her.

She released Shauna. "NO!"

She burst into the room and saw Missy lying still. Her heart monitor telling them the news they didn't want to hear. Alice ran over.

"Miss! C'mon!" Alice told her shaking her, tears streaming from her eyes. "This is where you wake up and tell us your joking right?"

"Alice?" Shauna asked. Inhaled sharply.

Nurses came in and seen to Missy. All Alice could hear was Missy's machines. Then Shauna's voice echoed in her head. Refusing to see Missy. Her fists clenched tightly. Coz of her she didn't get to say goodbye! Coz of her Missy was alone! It always had to be about her! Coz of her… Alice spun. Eyes black, whole body shaking.

**A/N this chapter made me sad :'( and i so wouldn't wanna be shauna rite now...and no missy to stop them :/**

**This is the start of some seriously dark stuff. Alice is using her writing as a release. No one is going to see her story she is simply using it to vent now…..just incase you were wondering. (This is actually where my story was supposed to start 5 chapters in. all this previous stuff was added ideas i made up on the spot. 40 chapters worth...o well :D)**


	46. Last BreathSmothered

**A/N this is 6 months after Amie has went back to the army. Life is trying to return to normal.**

Amie walked out of the hall with Rob. They were in London. She laughed and smiled.

"Hey Rob you should know I'm better than you!" Amie laughed walking out of the gym. Bounced on the balls of her feet.

"You wish orange!" she had him pinned easily and he knew it.

"Last time I tell you anything!" she muttered as he mentioned her nickname.

He grinned and she winked.

"How did you beat me?" he asked.

"State secret!" she said seriously. Looked around. "I read minds." then did the twilight zone music. "do do do do do do do do." she joked.

He raised an eyebrow.

"Men are predicable. Especially when it comes to women. You tried to hard not to hurt me! I used it against you." She said cockily.

He leaned against the wall at the woman's' changing room. "I'm over 6 foot and your not."

"A woman has to have some secrets. Plus the smaller you are the quicker you move." she had got so much better at protecting herself over the last 6 months. It was important to her after what happened.

"Too right. You were a blur."

She smiled. "I knew my lack of height would come in handy one day. And not just for crawling through them vents in Asia! Christ that was hot!"

"Meet you out here in 15?" he asked.

She nodded.

(X)

"So you wanna go for a pizza or something?" Rob asked Amie offhandedly.

"What if I said or something?" she asked as they walked outside into the warm sun.

"You'd be tempting me to do something I've wanted since I first met you!"

"Really?" she whispered. "What if told you to do it?"

He took a step forward and kissed her. Amie smiled as he released her.

"C'mon. Pizza awaits." she said breathlessly.

(X)

They walked hand in hand down the dark street.

"That pizza was good." she smiled.

"Sweetcorn. Olives. Pepperoni. You have the weirdest combo's." he laughed.

"Hey you picked it off!" That's the best bit!" she laughed.

Amie froze. Felt the hair on the back of neck stand up. Looked behind her. All was fine. Ignored the alarm bells clanging in her head. That instinct came in handy in the field but she was in London. Happy and safe.

"You ok Amie?" he asked.

"Just ignore. Me paranoid!"

He smiled. "I'll keep you safe." he joked.

"I kicked your ass today remember!"

They crossed the road and they walked discussing films. As they passed an alley she was grabbed and pulled. Someone had his hand over her mouth. She walked with him not panicking. Knew to pick her moment. She had no idea how many people were there and how big they were. She had to wait and assess her options.

"Amie?" Rob called angrily.

"Do you remember me?" the man hissed.

Her heart stopped. She knew that voice! "I bet you remember my father!"

Rashid! She paled.

"You killed him you bitch! I was one of his guards. I saw you toss him out of the plane with a knife in his chest!"

After what Tom had told all the top brass in Borneo she was considered one of their top agents. Constantly getting sent on the high profile missions.

"Well now I'm gonna carve up your pretty face!" he ran the blade softly down her cheek she felt the warm rush of sticky blood.

Rob appeared and the man looked at him. That was all the distraction Amie needed. She elbowed him in the gut and flipped him over her back. He hit the floor with a thud the man had dropped his knife. Reached for it. She stamped on his wrist. Pulled out her phone called the police.

"You ok Amie?" Rob asked. Saw the blood on her cheek.

"Ramone!" the man on the ground yelled.

3 men appeared from the shadows.

"You don't think I was stupid enough to come alone do you?" he hissed happily.

"Amie lets get out of here!" Rob told her. He was an agent below her too. He knew of these men. They were nasty when they fought. Wouldn't hold back even for a woman.

They backed off but then men ran towards them.

"Oh shit!" Riob hissed. "You get away. I'll deal with them!"

"And let you have all the fun?" she answered back cockily.

Ramone and co were right on top of them.

"Tiny you get the girl." the man she had incapacitated said.

"Hey sweet thing!"

Amie's jaw dropped. Tiny? He had to be almost 7 foot and built like a tank. She craned her head back and looked up. Oh hell was she in trouble!

Tiny launched at her. With surprising speed for such a big man.

She side stepped him and aimed a punch to hit gut which winded him.

"Bitch!" he hissed.

She smiled cockily and wiggled her eyebrows. He grabbed her arm and spun her around let go and she hit the floor and skidded. Her back hit the floor momentum carried her. She rolled into it and used her hand to raise her back onto her feet. Tiny gaped at her when he saw her standing then glared at her. He decided to go in fists flying. They grappled but she was no match for a man of his size. He flung her off a wall. She spun quickly and he was the one who ended up on the wall. He hit out and pushed her hard. She wasn't expecting that. Flew through the air and landed on her back. Badly winded. A thought entered Amie's head. He wasn't hitting her. Grabbing at her. Pushing her. And he went to hit her but it was sorta half hearted. Not that she was complaining him hitting her would know her into the middle of next week! Make that next month! She had no more time to ponder as he stood above her smiling widely. He knelt down to pick her up. She noticed a brick in her peripheral vision. As soon as he was close she rolled grabbed it and bashed on the head with it 3 times in quick succession. Looked at his unconscious form in disgust.

"You picked the wrong girl to mess with!" she hissed.

Rob was soon beside her. Bending down looking at her. His lip and nose was trickling blood. One of his eyes was beginning to go black other than that he looked fine.

"You ok?" he asked huskily.

Before she could answer a shadow passed over both of them. Amie's heart stopped. "Rob look out!" she screamed.

Her original captor was on his feet. He grabbed a handful of Rob's hair.

Amie scrambled trying to get to her feet, it was in vain. Before she could blink. Before Rob could move the blade was sliced across Rob's neck. Blood poured down and covered Amie's face and body. Rob was released and hit the floor eyes vacant.

Amie was no longer bothered about whther she got hurt or not. The only thought on her mind was to kill the sonofabitch who killed Rob. "I'm gonna kill you!" she screamed. Dived on the man. They went to the floor and rolled both trying to gain supremacy. They traded blows but Amie felt nothing. The only thought on her mind was revenge. Nothing else registered. Not pain. Just full on rage.

She hit and hit and hit. Finally found herself above him. Her fist tight she punched down over and over again. He grabbed a brick and threw it up at her and she dodged it. The man's face was covered in blood. As were hands. Robs blood was smeared all over her face and clothes and she felt renewed rage. Then grief as she realised he was dead. That grief made her freeze on the spot for a second. The man sensed her change and grabbed a piece of wood and bashed her head with it. She grabbed her head and he pushed her so she was on the floor. He grabbed the knife that lay close by.

"Now for my fathers revenge!" he hissed happily. He cut a deep 'R' on the back of her hand.

Sirens pierced the air and squealed to a stop behind them. He looked back then at her for a second calculating if he had enough time. He didn't. He wanted a slow painful death for her. He would have other chances he knew!

"You'll never be safe! A reminder!" he said at her hand. Got up and ran. A policeman followed him.

She got up and went over to Rob. She wished she knew something that might help him. If lexi was here she could help. The one time she wished she was her sister! Even though the rational side of his brain told her he was beyond help. She looked down at him. His eyes held no life. He was gone. 23 and dead. She closed his eyes for him took her cardigan off and covered his neck. The policeman approached them.

"I'm Amie Trevanion. I need to go to the station with you."

The policeman looked at Rob. "Too right you do!" upholstered his gun. "Hands up!" he shouted.

She raised her hands slowly.

"I'm army." she said slowly. "I don't have any proof of that at the moment. Contact Captain Barclay he is my superior he will verify everything."

An ambulance came to a screaming halt.

"Turn around leaving your hands in the air." the policeman said coldly.

Amie exhaled and did as he asked.

She saw Rob being loaded on a stretcher. Loaded in the back of an ambulance. Tears fell softly.

'I'll get him for you. I swear on my life I will. If your not living then neither does he!' she vowed silently. Was then cuffed, her rights told to her in monotone and then bundled in the back of a police car.

(X) Meanwhile At Leopard's Den

Lexi was sat in her kitchen. Then trying not to look at the calneder that taunted her. Her eyes always seemed to be brought straight back to it. She blanked it. She wanted to go over there and tear it off the wall.

"Ethan son are you ready for school?" Ethan had declared 3 months ago that he was no longer EJ he was Ethan. He was an adult and was taking over the role of man of the house and he felt junior wasn't appropriate.

She waited for his sarky reply. She hated it when he didn't answer her. She always panicked. The same if he came home late or didn't call her. Her nerves over Zoey's disapperance had taken over her life, and her sons life too.

"Ethan!" she yelled stood up and walked to his room.

He appeared from his room. Removed the phone from his ear. "I'm not gonna disappear too mum! You don't have to watch me every second!" his angry deep voice fumed. His voice was identical to his father's. As was his face even more so when he was angry. "Just coz SHE ran off and HE followed her doesn't mean I'm gonna do the same!" he said coldly.

This was a regular discussion. Her once happy little boy was an angry teenager. He distanced himself from all his old friends and Ryan and he now had new friends which she wasn't sure she liked. They were shifty.

"I know son I just…."

EJ saw her face and softened. "I know you love me and overreacted but you can trust me mum. I love you and I'll never leave you. Promise. And I always keep my promises." he told her softly with a smile that reminded her of the old smile he used to wear often. It was missing a lot these days.

She nodded. "It's been a year soon."

EJ followed her into the kitchen and sat down. "Will dad find her?"

Lexi had no idea. "He'll never give up."

"No then." EJ summarised. He picked up his bag. "I'm going to school. Granddad is dropping me off with Ryan" a look passed over his face as he said Ryan's name.

"I'll be at work. I have my mobile if you need me son."

He nodded and walked out towards his granddads house.

EJ was taking it hard. Ethan had up and left 10 months ago. EJ needed him. Without him here the only strong male role model he had was her dad and Daniel. He didn't even listen to them. It was killing her losing both of them. And now she felt like EJ was slipping away from her. She was smothering him she knew but she couldn't bear to lose him too!

**A/N poor amie she gets over borneo to go through that...  
And lexi. she is really having it rough too. BUT will it get worse? x**


	47. People Change

Amie was sat in a cell. Had been sat here for 3 days. Rob's blood still coated her face and clothes. They had offered her a shower and change of clothes but she refused to move til she seen Barclay. She wanted him to see exactly what she went through. Then he might understand her need for revenge. Captain Barclay walked in. She didn't stand and salute like she was expected to. She sat there and seethed quietly.

"I got you out of here Amie."

She sat. Her eyes hard and cold. Her body tightly coiled. "Right when am I going out to deal with thus bastard who killed Rob?" she asked coldly. "I know how I'm gonna do it too. Go in quiet and kill him slowly. Prison time won't work. He deserves to die!" her chest visibly moved up with every angry inhalation.

"We are gonna deal with him. You are gonna have some time off. To deal with your grief."

"No way! I'm gonna be the one who gets him!" she told him icily.

"As of now your on leave. If you kill him you kill him as a civilian and will be trialled as a civilian."

She stood up sharply. "Do you think I care if I get sent down for this?" she spat. "He deserves to be tortured and more!"

"Amie your good. One of the best we've ever had. Your brave, tenacious and loyal. I don't wanna lose you!"

She crossed her arms and refused to budge. Her loyalty as he put it stayed with Rob. "No one will be as through as me. There's no one else I trust. I will be on this case." she told him.

"We're sending in Tom Bennett." he told her.

Amie froze. Tom. He would do right by her. If she went to him directly that is. He owed her and he wouldn't say no if she brought up Borneo.

"Don't do it Amie. I had to pull a lot of strings to get him on this. If you do anything you bring Tom down with you!" Barclay warned.

Amie's eyes darkened with rage. How could they do this to her? She couldn't wreck Tom's career!

"Rob wouldn't want you to ruin your career over him. He wouldn't want you blaming yourself."

Grief filled every crevice in her chest at Rob's name.

"FINE! I give you a month. ONE! Then I'm going after him!" she warned icily.

A voice came over the tannoy and she opened her eyes groggily.

'Please fasten your seatbelt we are coming into land.'

(X)

Daniel was at the airport waiting for Amie. Amie was home. For a month. No one knew any details just that she was coming home. He scanned the crowd that was slowly approaching. She walked straight towards him.

"Right I need my case." her voice blank and devoid of any emotion. Unlike her last visit when he and her dad picked her up and she snuck up behind them and gave them the fright of their lives. She played tricks on them like that all the time. One minute she would be there and the next they couldn't see her. Then she'd reappear like she'd been there the whole time. It had went on like that until they got to the truck. Meanwhile he and his dad had been in shock. She was so much better at her job now then when she left. And fully back to her old self. It was like Borneo never happened and now she had taken a giant flying leap backwards. The old angry cold intense look she used to wear was once again the only thing frozen on her features. And that worried him.

"Earth to Daniel." Amie said annoyed. It brought him back from his musings.

He saw red line on her cheek and a bandage on her hand.

"Amie what's happened." he finger hovered over her cheek.

"Nothing." she snapped. Batted his finger away forcefully. "I just wanna get home!"

He nodded.

"I take it there's still no word on….." she asked in the truck. Her tone softer.

He shook his head.

"Ethan?"

Again he shook his head. He hasn't wrote in 3 months. Lexi is really losing it with worry.

"Dad, Missy?"

Dad is being dad. Missy is worried about everyone. There wedding is still postponed indefinitely. Missy spends a lot of time between ours and Lexi's. I'm worried about her. She doesn't look well."

"Who? Miss?" Amie yelped.

He nodded. "Just a feeling. Especially after what happened last year."

Miss so better be fine or it was gonna hit the fan! "How are you?" she added.

He shrugged.

"Amy." she whispered. Hazarded saying her name.

"We're back together. Have been a for a little while. Trying this long distance thing. We dunno if it'll work but we're trying."

Amie felt rage fill her. She had warned her and she hadn't listened. Next time she saw her she wasn't being held accountable for what she did to her. It might even make her feel a bit better about Rob too. And far as far as Amie was concerned she could stay away from Missy too. She forfeited any rights to her when she treated her badly. No one disrespected her family in that way! While Amie was thinking her angry murderous thoughts Daniel was thinking back to when he and Amy got back together.

(X) **5 Months Earlier.**

Daniel was sat in the surgery. It seemed like his whole freaking life revolved around this building and it was starting to irritate him! His dad went on the call outs. They swapped occasionally but Daniel had preferred being in the surgery at first. Til he found his feet. Now he felt stifled. Imprisoned sometimes. It wasn't really that bad he was just grumpy because once again he'd heard no word from Amy! He wasn't going there. He just removed her from his mind. The phone rang.

"Hello Daniel Trevanion." he said politely. Held the phone to his ear with his shoulder as he shuffled through paperwork.

"Hello Daniel" a soft voice answered.

The phone dropped to the floor with a clatter. He wasn't expecting that! All his paperwork fell to the floor as he reached down to pick the phone up. Wonder what she wants? Last time he'd heard from her had been an email. 2 weeks after she left, telling him not to worry. The morning after pill had worked. She wasn't pregnant. 2 lines. Now 4 months later she decided to get in touch.

"Amy." he answered blandly when he pressed the phone to his ear.

"How are you?" she asked.

"Let's not beat around the bush. We both know that isn't why you called." he snapped.

"Well actually it was." she replied.

"O. At least your honest. You always were." not that it had helped him.

"So how are you?" she repeated.

"I'm good. You know how it is."

"Yeah I do." she agreed.

"Look Amy…."

"I miss you!" she blurted.

He closed his eyes and exhaled. "I can't do this. Sorry." he put the phone down and hid his face in his hands. God she sure did know how to mess with his head!

The door opened. "I'll be a minute." he called forcing his voice to stay steady.

Someone walked in the office. "I miss you."

Daniel spun. "Amy?" he swallowed. God she looked better than he remembered. Except she looked tired. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you." she admitted.

"You haven't replied to any of my messages." he told her dryly. Couldn't bring himself to be angry, not when she stood in front of him looking so beautiful...and nervous too.

"I tried to forget you."she whispered. The harder she tried the more he hung around. Always on the edge of her subconscious.

"Thanks. That's exactly what every guy wants to hear." He crossed his arms.

"I couldn't."

He scoffed.

"So I'm too late?" she asked and exhaled.

He didn't answer.

She nodded. "I understand. I won't bother you again."

He let her go. Then his body acted on it's own and bound from his chair. He heard his voice calling her name even though he didn't tell it to. "Amy."

She stopped.

"Look." he exhaled. "If your just gonna walk away again…."

"I'm not. This time apart has only proved how much you mean to me. I want to see where we go. I love you."

"How long you here?" he asked.

"I have a week off uni. An enrichment week. I took the week off work as well."

He nodded.

"I also looked into getting transferred. I'd be too far ahead in Jo'burg in some modules and way behind in others. Their units are broke up differently to England."

"So your really serious?" he asked in disbelief.

She shifted from one foot to the other. "I needed to sort stuff. The distance only made me realise that your important to me. More important than other stuff that I was scared of."

He walked over and pulled her close. Hearing that she looked into moving here made him believe she was sincere. And hearing her admit her fear too. "I missed you so much. These last 4 months." he breathed.

"I did too." she agreed and held him tightly. "We'll work stuff out before I go back right?" she asked. "Me and you?"

He nodded and finally kissed her. Amy gave herself up too the possession of his kiss.

When he finished kissing her they carried on holding each other. "So does anyone know you're here?" she knew he was hinting at Missy.

"So you know?"

He nodded. "We all do. Was a surprise to say the least."

"So do you see me differently?"

He frowned. "No why would I. Your still Amy." he murmured.

"I don't want….that interfering with us. I want you. Not a mother."

"Ok. That's your choice. As long as you don't treat her badly. Whatever you think she's a good person and brought me up." he told her softly.

"Amie?" she asked coldly. He didn't notice her tone.

"She's off in Bosnia at last check. Doing her thing. Secret agent stuff. She's off her nut!"

"Did Miss tell Ryan?" she asked shakily.

She told him he has another sister. He wants to meet you. Miss didn't tell him it was you. No specifics."

So the ball was in her court now.

"Can this week just be about us? Getting to know each other?" she asked.

He nodded and caressed her cheek. They walked to the office.

"A song actually made me come back to you."

"Which one?" he asked.

"A few actually but the one that really made it hit home was called I really miss you. It was about a couple who have this long distance relationship. How they would call every night and just explain every aspect of their day. By the end I was sobbing. It just reminded me of how much I needed you. And how we could have that if I hadn't be so stupid. It sounds cheesy but I felt like something was missing. 8 months ago I didn't know you and now I can barely breathe without you."

He took her in his arms once again. She was opening up a little bit. Another way he knew she was being sincere. She had never said this stuff before. She was an intensely private person. "It's so good to feel you in my arms." he murmured. She buried her face in his chest and he felt her inhale deeply.

"I'm taking a couple of t-shirts with me. I forgot how good you smell."

The office door opened suddenly. "Hey Daniel you didn't sign these order sheets." Missy was shuffling papers as she walked in. She looked up and was startled.

"O I'll give you a minute huh?" she said without missing a beat. Amy's head was still in his chest.

"No it's ok Miss. We don't need a minute." Amy told her. Stepped back. Head held high.

"Amy…Um...Hel..." Missy looked uncomfortable. Stuttered.

"How are you Miss?" she asked politely. An aloof but polite look on her face.

"I'm good thank you. You?"

"So. So." she shrugged. Looked at Daniel. "At lot better now."

"I'll just leave you two huh?" Missy handed Daniel the paperwork

"I'll sort these Miss." he smiled.

She nodded and left. Closed the door.

Amy exhaled.

"Thanks Amy." he whispered.

She smiled. "I'm gonna try. I DO want us to work." checked her watch and frowned. "I gotta go."

He looked worried. "I thought you had a week."

"You gotta check in at my hotel before dinnertime. Proper rubbish but…." she shrugged. "I could have checked in before but I was so eager to see you."

"Stay here with me."

She raised her eyebrows. "Separate rooms of course." He stressed.

She thought. "Only if your family don't mind."

(-)

Danny rushed back to reality and started the truck. He and Amy called often and were happy. They hadn't had the chance to see each other since that week though. They missed each other terribly.

(X) **At Home**

Lexi's mobile rang just as she was walking out the door for work.

"Hello." she murmured. "Alexis Trevanion."

Her divorce had went through and she was back as a Trevanion. Something she had never thought she'd be. She thought she and Ethan would last forever. Not that this was his fault. She was the one who brought Xander into it. The worst thing she could have done. Missy was right. It was the novelty of being noticed. 2 weeks after he left Lexi realised she missed her husband. Missed the way he felt. The way he smelled. His little quirks which used to annoy her. Everything.

"Hello. I'm looking for Alexis Bell." a man asked.

"That's me. Um. I'm using my maiden name now."

"Can you come to the police station?" he asked seriously.

His voice was incredibly grave. It's tone scared her. Her stomach plummeted.

"Is it Zoey?" her voice shook.

"We'd prefer not to talk about this over the phone Mrs Bell."

Her heart stopped. No! just echoed in her head.

"If you come to the station we'll talk here. Make an identification." he added. Lexi felt her breath catch. She had to identify...a body?

"Um….I'm right there!" she choked. Ethan hadn't found her. The police had. If she had been alive they would have told her! She hated Ethan right now. She was about to identify their child alone. God what had she been through?

**A/N poor Lex : (**


	48. Partners

**A/N ok quick recap. Zoey has been taken from swift who has been killed. She was taken to the boss who she did some daft stuff to and he has ordered her to be killed coz he is disgusted by her. This follows on directly from this. I should warn you this is some seriously nasty stuff ….. I just wanted to warn you **

(X)

Zoey was pushed outside into a garden that was heavy with the fragrance of flowers. It would have been lovely if Zoey hadn't been quickly approaching her death. Her hands still bound tightly. She shook with fear so much force she wobbled.

"Sorry sweet cheeks but bosses will has to be done."

Zoey stayed quiet. How had she got herself in this mess? God she was gonna die!

"Don't ignore me girl. When I talk you look at me!" he hissed.

She glared at him. "Go to hell. Take a toothbrush!" she then inhaled sharply. Her body ached from her beating from the boss.

He grabbed her by the hair - again. Why the hair? He dragged her along. She stumbled trying to keep up with him which almost made him yank her hair out by the root. She was so angry and scared tears fell down her cheeks. God she didn't wanna die. She was only a kid!

He pushed her to the floor behind their car. Her ribs hit the bumper of his car and she lay still. Breathing hard. God she couldn't take much more. She was in so much pain. She wanted to cry so much too. He took out his keys and unlocked the boot. Picked her up and dropped her inside. She landed with a thump on a claw hammer. She groaned. He winked and slammed it shut. She pounded her feet off the boot of the car. Think Zoey think! You can't just let them kill you! Your smart! What would others do in her situation? Like Aunt Missy? Her mother had once told her that Tapas almost killed her. How she had pissed him off. Obviously she had tried that and the only purpose it served was that it pissed them off so much they wanted to kill her! But she wasn't being submissive. The way she saw it was if he was gonna kill her he was gonna kill her. Begging and pleading only made him get off and she would rot in hell before she gave him once ounce of pleasure. Twisted bastard. Killing people! If she was going down then she was going down swinging! Those bastards weren't gonna just toss her away without her making it as hard as possible for them! She had her pride!

She heard what sounded like 2 men's voices drift to her. Seems like badly dressed suit guy wanted an audience while he done the deed. Probably got off on it. What would he do to her before he killed her? She remembered his sick smile when he saw he hurt her. Remembered the heated look in his eyes at her groan of pain. He had said he wanted to give her a try. She felt sick. Her dad had been right. She should never have fell for Swift's lies. She should have known something was off about him. Most boys were chomping at the bit for sex. Especially the older ones and he wasn't even bothered. Christ now because of her naivety and stupidity she was gonna be killed. Possibly gang raped and then dumped somewhere never to be found again. She had to force the air in and out of her body. She felt a bubble of hysteria rise. Christ her life really couldn't get much worse! Well since she was gonna die soon it didn't give it much time to get worse did it? She felt the car bumping over an uneven road. Oh well it looked like the wilderness was gonna be her new home for the duration. Who was she kidding it was gonna be her grave. Probably a shallow one. Then a lion would find her and … her train of thought was cut off by the car shuddering to a stop. She had no plan. No way of getting away. She was royally fucking screwed! They'd just do what they wanted and then get rid! No this wasn't it for her! No way was she making it easy for these bastards. She quickly manoeuvred herself into position and painted an belligerent expression on her face.

As soon as the trunk opened she kicked her feet out forcefully. Her back lifted off the boot floor and she kicked her captor on the face.

"Yes!" she laughed.

She laughed more as she heard his groan. She then flopped about bouncing like a fish trying to get out of the truck. She had no idea what she would do after that. She was acting purely on instinct. There was no way she was getting out of the boot like this. The lip was too high. God why had the bastard bound her hands behind her back?

"You little bitch! You'll regret hitting me!"

"You can bet I WON'T!" she yelled in reply. "Let me go you sick freak!"

He glared at her so hard his eyes were bulging out of his head. He grabbed a handful of her hair - again. She hissed in pain. "Leave my fucking hair alone!" he yanked it so hard she fell from the car. She had seriously thought it was coming out by the root. She cried out. He dragged her along. She was bent double her scalp burning from the unrelenting force he exerted upon it. They were alone. Where was his audience? Or did he talk to himself? Was she with someone mentally unstable? Well obviously if he kills people for a living! They were in a quiet secluded spot when he pushed her to the floor. She skidded along on her face. She felt twigs and rocks scrape the tender flesh as she passed. She had no hands to break her fall. She rolled onto her side. Bit back a groan. Let a few stray tears fall. she mentally said her goodbyes and her sorrys to all the people she had wronged and then composed herself. It took seconds. She rolled over. And sat up. She wasn't going on her knees and she'd choke before she said one word of begging. She was dead either way and she refused to give this guy a narrative to go back to his boss with!

"Right sweet cheeks here we go." he murmured. Pulled out a blind fold.

"What the point in blind folding me. Not wanna see my face as you splatter my brains all over the forest." she spat. "I know what's coming.

The blindfold scared her more then she let on. He smirked at her and was beside her in a moment. She struggled but he had it around her eyes. She thrashed and her shoulder hit him. It only earned her a hard slap. "Don't defy your elders Zoey!"

She felt sickness rise when he said her name. She didn't like the tone in which he said it. He practically purred it.

He yanked her to her feet.

"Where we going?" she demanded and stumbled.

"You'll see sweet cheeks." laughed at his pun.

(X)

Zoey was pulled. She guessed it was through a forest of some sort. Or trees. She recognised the scent if the bush having lived in it or near it her whole life. The scent of dust in the air. And the trees. Squashed through mud. Wherever they were going it was pretty secluded. God she was terrified! She had fell countless times. He drove a relentless pace. He had just grunted at her in frustration. An hour later when she was sure she couldn't go no further they stopped. She heard the jangle of a key in a lock. A door creaked open. She was led inside. And her hands were untied. He still held one. With her free hand she began to hit out blindly. She probably should have tried to pull off her blindfold but all she could think of was him releasing her so she could get away. She felt a blow to the side of her face. Her lip exploded and blood filled her mouth. She was pushed roughly onto a wooden chair. She pulled hard but he tied her hands tightly to the back of the chair. He removed her blindfold and was on his haunches in front of her. As her eyes adjusted she glared at him. Meanwhile her own blood had been filling her mouth. He smiled at her. She smirked back and showered his face with her blood. He stood up and wiped it off. He was so enraged she never saw it coming. He punched her face so hard that momentum made her chair fall backwards. Her whole face felt like one mass of pain. Her head whipped off the floor with a snap. Then her left wrist felt like it was on fire after a sickening cracking noise. Her eyes were closed and she groaned in agony. Tried to pant through the pain. Took deep breaths.

"You should be grateful to me sweet cheeks. I saved your life!" he hissed.

She was still panting trying desperately to hold back the river of tears that wanted to break their banks. It didn't work. A few slid down her cheeks followed by more until she was crying earnestly. Large silent tears. He picked her chair up. Caressed her cheek softly.

"I shouldn't have hit you that hard." he murmured guiltily. He winced inwardly when he saw her left hand rested at a awkward angle. It had to be broken.

Zoey meanwhile was trying to stem the flow of tears but it felt like a dam had burst and they flood out. Quiet tears. She was keeping her mouth shut! All it did was get her in trouble and trouble hurt!

"Look Zoey I did save your life you know." bent down again and looked at her intently. "He wanted you dead but I like you so I decided you could….stay with me for a while."

He looked nervous. Like he was asking for her to stay. Even though she knew she had no option. She frowned at him. Scared. Tears still fell. "Stay?" she breathed.

"As my, I dunno…..like partner." he gave her a shy smile and wiped her tears away with his thumbs.

Her eyes widened at the implications of his words. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God! She thought quickly, Christ she was more afraid of this then she was of dying!

"Of course you'll try to escape at first which is why I brought you here. Your miles out of anyone's reach. No TV. No telephones. No computers. Unfortunately I have to go to work but we have plenty of time to get to know each other better when I get home. I'm sure you'll find a way to amuse yourself while I'm gone. I'll have to leave you tied to the chair though."

Fear flashed across her face. He misinterpreted it.

"O don't worry about my boss. You'll be my little secret. No one will know your alive except me." patted her knee.

This seriously wasn't happening! She thought. This happens in books. In films. This didn't happen in real life. It just didn't! Jesus she was in deep trouble here!

"Stop worrying Zoey. I'm a nice guy. As long as I'm not made angry me and you can have a happy long life together. I just wanna be your friend."

Happy long life? Was he planning on keeping her forever?

"We're the same me and you. I went to the boss's dad when I was a kid. He didn't want me either. A man worked for him. He took me home to his wife and they cared for me. I was like you at first. I fought but I realised they were nice people and they treated me really well. You'll see that about me too and stop fighting."

He wasn't good guy. He was a mentally unstable guy and she was outta here as soon as his back was turned. Quicker if she could swing it!

"You got anything to say?" he asked softly. His eyes intense.

She wasn't opening her mouth. Safer that way.

"So I gotta get back to work sweet cheeks. I'll be home really soon."

He smiled at her as she held back a grimace.

He caressed her cheek and then walked out of the cabin. She heard a click and then a car start. Right she was outta here! The predators out in the bush were preferable to the predator in here! At least with them her death would be relatively quick and painless. No torture. No mind games. Just mauled to death. Definitely preferable. He has seriously lost his marbles among other things. Partners? He wanted to be partners. She was 14 years old for gods sake. Is he outta his mind? He said friend but she knew better. She so wasn't falling for that shit! She saw the way he looked at her. The way he touched her. The way his eyes roved over her body sure wasn't friendly. She stood up and started to bash the wooden chair off the wall. Trying to shatter the wood. She hit and thudded and bashed but to no avail. Blood had started to trickle down her right wrist and her left wrist which she was sure was badly hurt if not broken was screaming pain. She ignored it and carried on hitting. Bashed harder. As hard as she could. Her shoulders ached from the vibrations and jarring thuds.

"C'MON!" she screamed. Gave up. Frustrated tears fell. Set the chair down and sat on it. She exhaled. She had a broken wrist. Was tied to a chair and was seriously screwed. God he wanted them to be together. He had a screw loose. He didn't see her as the 14 year old she was. He saw her as an adult. He knew that he meant…..like a proper adult couple eventually. Why else would he want her. She gulped. She had to get out of here! She got back up and hit the wall again. Faster and harder. Praying it would work.

(X)

It was too late. She heard gravel and a car. Right this bastard wasn't getting away with this. She stood up and the door opened. She swung her hair but he reacted quickly. And grabbed the legs.

"NO!" Zoey shouted.

He smiled evilly and shook it violently from side to side. Her wrist screamed again. She fell to her knees the pain was so immense. "Zoey. I warned you not to make me angry. I don't want to hurt you but I will if I have to!"

"The only way that will happen is if you let me go!"

His face contorted and he yanked the chair so she was standing. She closed her eyes as the pain in her wrist intensified.

"OR I could kill you!" he suggested evilly.

She exhaled. "If you wanted to kill me then I would be dead by now. Even so kill me! How I act won't change whether your gonna kill me or not. If I cheek you it just means it happens today instead of tomorrow. You can't expect me to be happy about my hurt wrist, or being tied to a chair or being stranded in the middle of nowhere with a freaking sociopath!" her voice had raised until she was yelling at the end. She wasn't thinking anymore. She was reacting on pure emotion.

"I'm warning you Zoey!"

"O big whoop! You'll do what you want either way won't you. I have no choices here except for how I act!" she was breathing heavily. Her eyes flashing fire. "I choose to be a pain in the ass!"

"I like how you look when your angry." he said softly and took a step towards her.

She froze.

"It's a big turn on." he added.

Christ! Her anger faded into sheer fear for what she saw in his eyes.

"C'mon then Zoey. Show me some more anger then!" he whispered in her ear.

She felt his breath on her face and felt physically sick.

"I'll be good." she whispered.

He smiled. "That's my girl. You know I don't like you pushing me. I don't want to hurt you."

Her heart pounded. "If you don't want to hurt me you could let me go."

"Not an option sweet cheeks."

"Bastard!" she spat.

"Sit down!" he pushed her. She went sprawling across the floor rolled, the chair hit her. He walked over to the door and closed it. Then disregarded her.

Zoey exhaled in defeat. He might have won this round but she was smart and resilient. She'd get away from him. She knew she would!

**A/N you do know that this is only gonna get worse...**


	49. Captive

Zoey had been with her captor for what she guessed was about 3 months. She was quickly losing track of the days. Her wrist had fully healed now hadn't healed properly was useless. She couldn't move it properly. She was sat in his house in the living room. Her watched her intently.

"Hoe are you today Zoey?" her captor asked.

She sat on a blue leather chair. Shrugged dejectedly. The last three months had worn down her resistance. She had no fight left. He had broke her spirit. She was never getting away from him. Her life was just crap. Usually he beat her unless she answered him but she didn't care anymore - and he knew.

"C'mon Zo don't be like this." he coaxed.

"I wanna go home. Will you let me go home? Please?" she pleaded softly. Useless she knew but she had to try.

"Zo you'll like it here as soon as you don't try to run away again."

She bit back the tears. She knew he wouldn't but a slight flicker of hope had flared that he just might let her go. God why did she even bother? She had tricked him after a little while. Started to act well 'nicer' to him. She stopped running and did what he said willingly. Pretended she was getting used to him. They finally moved to his house. Being nice to him had knocked her seriously sick. She had promptly tried to escape. The only reason he caught her was because he had came home to fetch his keys. He had found her at the door. She had sorta smiled at him brightly hoping he wouldn't click. He did! He beat her and locked her in the attic while he installed more locks and alarms. She had tried again and again and again and he always caught her. Either she was sloppy or he had a sixth sense. Her last attempt had been yesterday. She had picked at the grout on the kitchen window and it was loose. She shook the window hoping it would fall towards her. Nope it fell out of the window. She tried to scramble through the window but he caught her foot just before she got out. Now she just felt at a loss! Escaping just wasn't working. All he did was beat her. Worse and worse after each time. He had stopped halfway through her beating yesterday when he realised she was reacting like she usually did. He just looked at her sat there taking it. Not saying a word. Not hitting back. Not protecting herself. She had taken his enjoyment away she figured.

"If your not gonna let me go home then why don't you just kill me? I don't even care anymore!" she told him.

He ruined her life. It wasn't worth living anymore. He joined her in the attic at night. She hadn't been surprised. What HAD surprised her was that it had taken him 10 weeks to do it. He had murmured to her that he loved her and wanted to let her get used to him. Now he knew that she was ready. She had still been in her fighting phase then and fought him violently. Kicked and punched and scratched. After the first week she realised the more she fought the more he got off and enjoyed it. Now she pretended it wasn't happening. Counted the cracks in the ceiling. Counted the beams in the attic. Or she let her mind leave her body and imagined herself on a deserted island somewhere hot that was her favourite the one she escaped to most often. God she hated her life and wanted it to end!

"C'mon Zo you don't mean that."

"I really do." she said blandly. No life in her tone. Just shoot me or stab me or poison me. Please. I don't wanna live!"

"I'm being nice to you aren't I?" he asked. "I treat you well?"

"You keep me here against my will and you…." she breathed heavily to dispel the images. "Look just kill me. You want me happy then do that!"

She had no choices here either. He picked what she wore. What she ate. When she went to bed and got up. If she brushed her teeth. When she showered and even gave her timed bathroom breaks. The door always open. He had to watch her all the time. Full on voyeurism. She had to ask permission to leave the room. To sit down. He even went mad if she coughed or sneezed without asking! She was really starting to lose her mind

"Maybe you will feel better after eating something."

That was her prompt. They went into the kitchen and he sat and watched as she made a meal. she had refused at first. What did he do? Beat her. It was just easier now to just comply.

"So when is your birthday?" he asked as she stirred a pan slowly. She had to be careful not to burn anything, she had first and what did he do?…..you get the picture.

"June." she lied.

He smiled. "Same as mine! We should have a party. Just the two of us."

His eyes burned with something that scared her. Something she saw in his eyes every night at bedtime. She didn't care about birthdays and parties!"

"What do you think Zoey?" he asked angry she hadn't responded.

She knew the response he wanted. "Sounds good." she knew to respond to certain questions in certain ways. If she wanted to avoid being hit.

She set a meal down in front of him.

"Can I go in my room for a while?" she asked.

"No sit down and eat with me!" he demanded. "You have no privileges for trying to escape again. You are to stay by my side from now on!"

She exhaled. Sat down and picked at her food.

"ZOEY!" he warned.

She forked some noodles around her fork and placed them in her mouth. Chewed woodenly without tasting them and forced herself to swallow. Her throat ached and her mouth was dry.

"I want a roast for tomorrow. I'll go out and get the stuff!"

She was his private slave. She did everything for him. Cooked his food. Washed his clothes. Ironed. Sorted his baths. She had no choice. She had to do it. If she didn't he beat her. If she did it wrong he beat her. Sometimes when he was in a bad mood he beat her for no reason at all. Then again who needed a reason when you're a psychopath? Plus after all these beatings she was still made to do it. So she may as well just skip the beating and do it right? Self preservation told her to do it!

"How about I give you tonight off huh? That will cheer you up?" he suggested smiling at his kindness to her.

She shrugged.

His eyes darkened. Zoey realised it had been the wrong thing to do.

"So you reject me kind offer?" he fumed. His hands had clenched to fists on the table.

She had never seen him so angry so quickly! "NO I'm very thankful!"

He pushed his plate to the floor violently and she jumped as it shattered. His face was contorted with rage.

Her mouth was open slightly and she was breathing heavily fear emanated from every pore of her body.

"Look at that mess!" he yelled. "Clean it up!"

She looked at him wearily. She was too scared to go anywhere near him. She hesitated.

"DON'T make me tell you twice!" he screamed.

Her heart pounded erratically. She was seriously scared! She had to find some of that arrogant belligerence she used to have at the beginning bit it had fled leaving terror in it's place.

"I WON'T ASK YOU AGAIN!" he warned fists twitching on the table.

She went to get the brush.

He shook his head. "Hands and knees!" he demanded.

She walked over staying as far away from his as possible. Made she faced him at all times. She never turned her back on him. Went down to her knees. Moved the broken porcelain.

He moved quickly grabbed the back of her neck.

"Next time I offer you something nice you'll take it with a smile won't you?" he hissed

Zoey nodded.

"WHAT?" he asked.

"Yeah I will!" she said voice shaking.

"What else?"

"I'm really sorry!" she told him.

He shook his head. "I don't think you are!" forced her face down into the food and broken porcelain on the floor. Rubbed it hard. The shards poked and cut her face. Zoey felt anger build. Felt her heartbeat quicken and pound. He released her head.

"Make sure it's cleaned up properly. Clean yourself up too. Your disgusting!" he spat with disdain.

The last 3 months of anger just exploded inside her. She had, had enough! Her breathing heavy she got up and launched at his back. It was the last time he humiliated her like that! She rained blows over the back of his head. He flinched and turned. She hit his face. Her hands flying at so much speed they were a blur.

"ZOEY YOU'LL BE SORRY YOU HIT ME GIRL!" he roared. Caught her fists and twisted them. She raised her knee and just missed hitting his crotch. She wasn't feeling pain she was out of it. She wrenched her hands free and began hitting out again.

He grabbed her forcefully. His hands were wrapped tightly around her neck.

(X)

All was quiet. The birds had flew away outside leaving a peaceful stillness in their wake. The garden was eerily silent. Nothing broke the tranquil hush. The scene inside was a big difference to the serene view outside. Broken glass, shards of splintered wood lay on the floor. The walls and floor had blood splattered and specked all around. Along with the remnants of food and items Zoey had vainly used to try and protect herself. The commotion inside had been that of wild people. Glasses had been thrown and shattered. The scrapes of chairs and tables against the floor. Screaming and grunting as blows were traded while the people fought for supremacy. The kitchen was a wreck.

It seemed like Zoey was going to get her wish. She had wished that he would kill her and he very nearly had. She was in a very bad way. Her blood splattered up the walls. She was bleeding from her nose and lip. She lay unmoving amongst the chaos. Her eyes were closed and every so often she twitched. Her breathing was shallow. She lay awkwardly although she felt no discomfort. A broken piece of wood lay beside her, that too had her blood sprayed all over it. After he had hurt his hands with the force of his blows he had ripped the leg off the chair and used that. He had choked her so hard she had blacked out for a second. She came to and found he had tossed her on the kitchen table and was struggling with his jeans. She had thrown plates and cups at him. Hit him with her hands and feet but it had been futile. She hadn't been able to escape what was coming. He had simply smiled at her. He had enjoyed this fight far too much. She had fought and kicked during. Scratched and punched wildly he loved every moment and she hated every pain filled humiliating second of it. He had roared as fulfilment had claimed him. He had tried to leave her after that but she was so full of loathing that she launched at him once again. Desperate to kill him. That was when he grabbed the chair. After he had beaten her with the chair leg she had simply given up. She felt grateful for unconsciousness coming to claim her. Now she wished to die. Death was a welcome respite to this. The constant fear, pain and self disgust.

"Zoey I told you to get up and clean this place!" he hissed, walking back into the kitchen.

Zoey hadn't moved or spoke in reply.

"Zoey?" he finally realised that she hadn't moved.

He was on his knees by her side and rolled her so she was lain on her back. He frowned, his face full of pain and guilt. When he saw her bruised and bloody face.

**A/N will this make him change his mind and let her go? Keep reading x **


	50. Trip

"Zoey." a man's voice whispered. "Wake up." the voice was muffled and unclear. More were in the background. She recognised those voices! It was her parents! And EJ's! They were talking to her!

"C'mon stay with us!" her dad said lightly.

"Yeah." her mum agreed. "It'll be fun."

"Zoey." the unknown voice repeated. She shrunk away for some reason.

"Daddy?" she murmured moved her head slightly. "I had this really bad dream dad." her eyes opened.

The star of her nightmare was over her.

"Your ok Zoey I took care of you!"

Zoey looked around and saw her phone on a bedside cabinet. That's where her parents voice came from. He was playing a video EJ had recorded last year. She had been having a tantrum coz she was being forced to go on holiday when she wanted to stay with her friends.

God for a second she thought she was free. Home. She felt tears gather. Her throat constricted tightly.

"I thought their voices might make you get better." he told her softly.

Not quite, now she felt sui-freaking-cidal!

"I'm gonna carry on taking care of you til your back to normal. I'm so sorry I went too far with you. Can you ever forgive me?"

She looked at him. Felt herself nod. She was frightened of the reply if she said no.

"O thank you!" he gushed. "Your gonna be ok I promise."

"I was ok. Til I ….." she quieted. Last time she cheeked him he almost killed her. She was quiet and pondered that possibility for a few moments. She supposed she should be grateful he hadn't killed her yet. I mean he could at any moment! Technically he is the only thing keeping her alive! She frowned taken aback. Wow did that mean he protected her? Her head hurt and she was confused. She knew she didn't want to die anymore. Earlier she had been sure he was gonna kill her and it upset her coz it meant she would never see her family again. She did wants to see them some day.

"Zoey?" he asked breaking her thoughts.

She nodded. "I'm good."

"Look Zoey…."

"It's ok. I understand." she whispered and was surprised to know she meant it. "Look you take care of me and I was ungrateful. I'm really sorry. You were being nice trying to give me a treat and I was…..just a bitch about it really. I shouldn't have done that to you."

He smiled. Could see she was serious. You couldn't act that sincerity! "You finally understand. That's all I want Zoey. To take care of you. Not like your parents. See if they had taken better care of you then Swift wouldn't have been able to take you to that crack house!"

Zoey frowned. He was right! When she ran off they had been arguing - again. If they had paid more attention to her instead of screaming at each other she wouldn't have got away!

She looked around a sparsely decorated room. Just a bed and a dresser. "Where am I?" she whispered.

He smiled. "The spare room. Your room now. I'll keep a lock on it for a little while but I'm sure that will come off in no time."

Zoey was lost in pensive thought.

"We're very alike you and I. Kindred spirits. We were destined to meet. I wasn't even supposed to be at that den that day. I'm so happy I was. I met the love of my life." he gushed.

Zoey stayed quiet. Felt uncomfortable with his thoughts.

"The same happened to me as you. I've told you. The bosses father had my mother and father killed but now I don't care. They deserved it. They crossed him. He was gonna kill me too coz I was evil to him. Threatened to kill him coz of what he done to my parents. I even fought him. He was persuaded by Mike that I could be useful. Mike kept me. Took care of me with his wife Connie. I came around eventually. See how alike we are? Like 2 peas."

She nodded. Thinking intensely.

"You keep me alive don't you?" she asked.

He smiled widely. "Yes. I should have ended your life but I didn't. I keep you alive."

She nodded understandingly. "I get it now." she whispered.

"I'm so happy you do Zoey."

"And I do stuff for you, like tidying and stuff to show appreciation?" she asked.

He clapped happily. "I knew my Zoey was smart!" he gushed. "Now that I know I can trust you ill telly you my name. I'm William."

"Nice." she whispered.

"William and Zoey has a lovely ring don't you think?"

She nodded absently. Lost in thought about her parents. This was their fault! As usual they had been arguing. Thinking only of themselves! Now William was taking care of her. He kept her alive by simply not killing her. She should be grateful to him for that. If he hadn't brought her here then she'd be lying in a shallow grave somewhere in the bush! Or with Swift off her face on drugs. Or overdosed. Yeah she was grateful to William, but how could she ever repay a debt that was as big as her life? Coz as soon as she did he'd let her go home…right?

(X)

A month later they were sat having dinner.

"Here Zoey drink this." William said. He poured her some vodka straight.

"I'll just have water if you don't mind." she replied.

"Zoey, what do you call me?"

"Master." she added.

I'd really like you to have it." he told her sweetly.

She reached across and took the glass. Looked at the clear liquid and lifted it. The pungent odour assaulted her nose. She winced and looked at him. He nodded eagerly. She took a sip and almost spat it back out. She choked and coughed as she swallowed. It burned her throat. She inhaled deeply to stop the vomit from rising.

"Was that good Zo? Did you enjoy it?"

She nodded. Lying. It had been freaking awful. She'd rather eat grass! She told him what he wanted to hear.

"Have them another drink then." he urged.

She had been afraid of this. If he knew she didn't like it he'd force her to drink it til she did. If he thought she did like it he might of took it away. He didn't like her to have to many 'treats'. Not this time. He wanted to get her drunk! God knew why. And she wasn't asking the thought scared her.

"I've had enough thanks." she told him thankfully.

"Zoey!" he fumed.

"No I don't want to." she told him. "You can't keep telling me what to do!" her passion showed itself once again. Afterwards she mentally berated herself for the outburst.

"Has your gratitude ran out already?" he asked angrily.

"O God they were gonna fight again. She could see it!

He stood up. "Drink it Zoey. In one mouthful!"

"I can't, I'll be sick!" she told him. "Please don't make me."

"You leave me no choice then Zoey!" he went in his pocket pulled a clear packet. It contained a pill. She looked at it. He sat down. Placed it on the table. His fist impacted the table with a thud. "Take it!" he fumed.

"What is it?" she asked worriedly.

"A little LSD. Don't worry it's not addictive."

"NO I don't do drugs!" she said going to push it away.

"Take it!" he repeated angrily.

She shook her head.

He stood again and took a threatening step towards her. "OK OK!" she picked the clear packet up and opened it. Put the small pill in her hand. He watched her. She suddenly ran to the sink and put it down there then quickly tried to run out of the door. He was beside her in a second with a roar of outrage. Grabbed her hair.

"You shouldn't have done that Zoey!" he hissed.

"I don't do drugs!" she said pleading.

"You need to be doubly punished for disobeying me twice!" he fumed.

He spotted the litre vodka bottle and smiled. He flung her to the floor and was above her. He grabbed it. He sat on her chest and clamped her head between his knees so she couldn't move.

She kept her mouth firmly closed. He held her nose so she held her breath. Seconds ticked into minutes. Zoey's face had slowly gone bright red.

"You can't hold your breath forever Zoey!" he warned. And he was right. She was blue in the face when she involuntarily gasped. He had the bottle ready and poured it into her mouth. She shut her mouth but some vodka went down and she choked. Swallowed it down and gasped again. He poured even more liquid down her throat. He released her nose as she gagged.

William meanwhile went into his pocket and pulled out a clear packet which held 2 pills. She bucked and fought trying to get him off her but he was much heavier then her little frame.

"These two are much stronger then the previous one!" he hissed happily. Held her nose again. She eventually gasped again he put a little vodka in her mouth then dropped the pills in. Clamped his mouth over her mouth tightly.

"Swallow now Zoey!" he hissed.

She held off for as long as she could but she couldn't hold her breath forever. The vodka and pills went down. He removed his hand but still held her nose. She gasped once again and he poured the rest of the vodka down her throat. Climbed off her after she swallowed it.

"Get up!" he yelled at her.

The room was spinning. She couldn't move. She was gonna be sick!

"Get up now!" he shouted.

She rolled over and rested her forehead against the floor. Christ please let the room stop spinning.

William meanwhile sick of waiting for her compliance picked her up by the collar of her jumper. Jerked her upright. She swayed drunkenly.

"This house is filthy. Sort it out!"

William's voice had slowed right down. It sounded like he was talking to her in slow motion.

"I'm going out it better be clean when I get back!" he warned.

He released her and she half fell on the table. She used it for support.

She hadn't understood a word he said. He left her and she stood. She began to move. Using the counters as a crutch she walked towards the living room. Fell over the back of the settee. Put her head in her hands till the room stopped spinning. She sat there for a while. Felt her head getting lighter gradually.

The room finally slowed and stopped. She stood up and looked around. Everything shimmered with a glow. It was full of weird things. She walked around and studied them intently. Giggled for no reason. She walked up to a cuckoo clock. With every tick she nodded her head. It chimed as it hit the hour. Doors opened. She smiled. A bird came out.

"Hello birdie!" she whispered.

"Cuckoo Cuckoo."

Zoey jumped. Then smiled.

"You said hello!" clapped. "Do it again!"

"Cuckoo. Kill you!" the bird hissed.

A wing as sharp as a blade swung out and aimed at her face.

Zoey screamed and ran upstairs to her bedroom. Hid under her bed and covered her face. That bird was gonna kill her! Underneath her bed she was safe where that demented bird couldn't get her! She almost sighed in relief. A spider scurried past. It's skin cracked, a larger spider emerged. Then again. And again. She crawled from under her bed and backed off. The spider approached her. it's millions of eyes all zeroed on her face. It's fangs dripping with fluid. It kept getting bigger. It was filling the room. She had to get away! She left the room.

As she passed the toilet she glanced in and saw the seat was up. The handle grew to mammoth proportions and it tried to grab her wrist. It gripped her and tried to pull her towards the bowl. It's seat began to open and close quickly water spewed everywhere. Like it was eager for her to be it's meal. She was going to be flushed to the depths of the sewer she pulled her arm free and looked around frantic. The toilet wanted to eat her. The spider in her room to maul her. She went to run downstairs.

"Cuckoo kill you!" the bird repeated. As she was halfway down stairs. She forgot he locked and bolted the doors. She was back up the stairs in seconds. Ran into the bathroom nowhere to hide in here, then saw the bath was full of red fluid. A red figure rose from the water.

"BOO!" it screamed. She recognised the figure as herself. She screamed terrified.

She ran into William's room and hid in the wardrobe. She covered her face with her hands. The hangers clattered and hissed above her but she ignored them. She rocked back and forth muttering incoherently to herself.

"No one will find you or hurt you in here!" she used her free hand to clutch the door closed.

She heard the things that wanted to hurt her scratching and clawing at the doors. She blanked them.

After a little while she heard a voice. "ZOEY!"

She kept her eyes closed and rocked back and forth.

"Don't hide from me Zoey!" his voice was slurred. He'd been drinking.

He searched the house and finally found her. Pulled the doors open angrily.

"I warned you! I told you to sort this place out! I told you NEVER to hide from me. More punishment!"

He dragged her from the wardrobe and threw her on his bed.

**A/N what he did at the beginning was really cruel. with her family and the phone. she thought she was home :( and now with the LSD trip :(  
What else is she gonna go through?**


	51. Anniversary

The next morning Zoey lay in Williams bed. He had held her captive in there. Wouldn't let her move. She had eventually fell into a fitful sleep filled with dark images and nightmares. God the things he had did to her! The delusions had hit their peak and he….he hadn't used anything. He was usually very careful to use protection but he was getting more and more careless. That was the least of her worries at the moment she had to find a way to make sure he stayed nice to her and didn't do this again. Tears slid down her cheeks as memories flooded her. Why did he do all this to her? Why couldn't she just go home? She began to sob brokenly. Her life was just pain filled and humiliating. The sobs came thick and fast. She just wanted to go home. She missed her family. She wanted to get back to her parents and little brother! Thoughts of them made the tears fall in earnest. She needed to calm herself. If he saw her in this state he might get angry again! She breathed heavily and forced the tears away.

After a few moments there was a soft knock and William walked into the room. He saw her eyes open.

"Zoey." he said.

She eyed him wearily. Still lain in the foetal position. She had to get up but he whole body felt heavy.

"You won't disobey me again will you?" he asked sternly.

She shook her head quickly. Her eyes wide and afraid. He had broke her spirit. She now knew she was stuck here - forever!

He smiled and left he room for a second. Came back in with a tray.

"That's my girl." he sat on the bed beside her and put his hands under her and lifted her tenderly. Kissed her. She tried her best not to shrink away. She kept her face completely impassive and didn't move an inch as his lips touched hers.

"I'm sorry about last night. I was …rough. But I've been drinking and you know what I'm like.. How I can get when I'm like that. I do love you, you know."

He placed the tray on her knee and she looked down at toast and orange juice.

"Eat up then." he encouraged looking at her.

She picked up a piece of toast and nibbled it. Then sipped the orange juice.

He smiled at her widely and she tried so hard to smile back. Just keep him nice Zoey!

(X) **6 Months Later**

Zoey had lost count of the days. They had all merged together into one endless nightmare. Her life had just turned into a routine. She got up cleaned. Cooked. Did washing. Ironing. Cooked then went to bed…most of the time with him. Sickness rose. She inhaled deeply. God she felt like she had been here for a decade!

William walked in looking happy. He had every reason to be happy. It was her life which was a quagmire of depression!

"It's out anniversary today sweet cheeks. Can you believe it's only been a year since we found each other?"

He creeped her out when he talked like that. Like she willingly stayed here. Like she wouldn't run as far and fast as she could if she had the chance.

"A whole year together. It's been so good hasn't it?" he murmured. Caressed her face.

A even bigger depression fell over her as she sat and pondered his words. Like being kept prisoner was something to call an anniversary. An anniversary was something to celebrate. This wasn't! Then the word year penetrated….Had it ONLY been a year? God way to make her feel suicidal!

She nodded quickly to appease him.

"I got an idea for later honey." he murmured. "I got us some ink. As presents we're gonna tattoo our names on each other. I will have Zoey and you will have William. That way everyone will know your mine and I'm yours!" he said happily.

Like freaking hell! She thought panicked.

"We don't have a tattoo machine." she whispered.

"O all you need is a sterile needle." he told her.

Her eyes widened.

"So the plan is basically we spend all day together huh?" he suggested.

Did she have a choice? No. "Sounds good."

"Then the tattoo later. And then night time. I'm especially looking forward to that. I got big plans!" he whispered and smiled at her predatorily.

Her stomach lurched. She felt really sick. It came from nowhere and completely overwhelmed her. She knew she was supposed to ask permission but this really couldn't wait! She dashed from the kitchen up the stairs into the bathroom where she retched violently. She rested her head on the bowl as she finished vomiting. She knew what was wrong. Had tried to ignore it hoping it would go away on it's own but this wasn't going away.

"ZOEY!" an irate William yelled up the stairs.

She washed her mouth out with water from the tap.

"You didn't ask my permission to leave!" he fumed.

She left the bathroom and walked down the stairs towards his angry voice. Slowly.

"I'm sorry. I just don't feel well!" she told him.

"What is wrong with you?" he asked angrily.

"I don't know." she lied. All she knew was that she had to find a way to get rid of it!

"Your lying to me Zoey!" he hissed.

"I'm not!" she told him panicking. If he knew he might make her keep it. She couldn't!

They were in the living room now. He was advancing upon her. "Zoey!" he pushed her back against a wall. "Tell me NOW!"

"I'm sick. A virus!" she told him. His temper scared her.

He pulled a clear packet from his pocket and shook it.

No not that again! She panicked. "I'm pregnant!" she blurted. Her eyes never leaving the clear packet.

The packet fluttered to the floor. She finally looked at his face. He was shocked. "And it's mine?" he squeaked.

She hadn't seen another living person in almost a year and he had to ask. "Yes, it's yours." she told him.

Once the shock rescinded his eyes turned dark and full of rage. "How could you let this happen?"

She had an idea. He wasn't happy about the little monster either. She wanted rid of this thing and she knew exactly how to do it!

"You rape me and it's my fault?" she spat ignoring her fear.

"Zoey don't push me! I don't rape you. It's consensual!"

"You keep me here against my will and attack me every single night! Consensual? Yeah right. You don't know the meaning of the word!"

"ZOEY!" he fumed.

"I HATE you and I HATE the child too. Hate is too tame a word for the revulsion I feel when your next to me!" venom dripped from every word. It felt good to finally show her passionate side again.

"Well we agree on one thing. I hate the kid as well. I refuse to share you with anyone or anything!" He punched her stomach hard and for the first time she was happy he hit her. Although she felt winded and pain streaked through her stomach she almost asked him to hit her again. She didn't have to though as he launched an assault hitting her stomach three times in quick succession. She fell to her knees and forced her arms to stay down so he could hit her again if he wanted. As many hits as he wanted. As long as he got rid of it. He kicked her in the stomach and she couldn't breath for a moment. He didn't give her time to recover though as he kicked her full force once again.

"That should do it!" he said satisfied. "Make sure it doesn't happen again!" he hissed.

Zoey lay on the floor. Resisted the urge to touch her stomach. She heard the front door slam. At least he got rid of it! It couldn't have survived that! She got up onto her knees and pain seared through her stomach. She clutched it automatically. She had to get out of here. She was filled with hope. He had slammed the door but hadn't…she hobbled weakly to the front door. He hadn't threw the bolts! She knew he hadn't. God if they weren't open she was going into the kitchen to slit her wrists. She couldn't live like this anymore. God if this door opened or not is defining factors of whether she lived or died! She put her hand on the handle.

"Please!" she whimpered.

She turned the handle and the door opened. She stood there in shock for a moment. Almost laughed hysterically. She took a tentative step forward and found herself in the front garden. Right this was a dream right? She hadn't been outside for a year! No way, William was never this careless! He was gonna appear from around a corner and grab her! He enjoyed toying with her like this. Giving her scraps of kindness then ripping them away, she couldn't deal with that! She almost stepped back inside until a voice inside her head screamed at her to run. Right! If William was messing with her she wasn't hanging around to find out. He could chase her! She closed the door. Grabbed her aching ribs and ran for all she was worth!

(X)

Zoey had ran for an hour. Sweat poured off her. She'd followed the signs that led her to Jo'burg city centre. She was at a loss at what she was going to do now. She knew she didn't want to see her parents again. This was all their fault

She could have went to her granddads and Missy but they were tell her parents she was there. What if she just said she didn't want to see them? She knew her granddad would take better care of her then her mum and dad. Her stomach still ached. Good! The thing could die for all she cared! Spawn of the devil! She carried on wandering down the path wondering how on earth she was gonna get anywhere. She had no money. Nothing to her name.

"Zoey!" she heard.

Her heart stopped at someone calling her name. had William found her? She looked around panicked. The street was empty. She exhaled and calmed herself down. Carried on walking. Until a hand clamped over her mouth and dragged her into a dark little alley.

Christ! William had found her already NO!

**A/N almost :(**


	52. Home Time

Zoey fought her captor for all she was worth. She wasn't going back to imprisonment. She'd rather die! NO! she whimpered against the hand over her mouth.

"Zoey. Don't fight. It's dad." a soft voice told her.

She froze and looked at the man. Eyes wide. She almost keeled over in relief. It wasn't William. It was her… she had no father!

Ethan removed his hand from her mouth. She inhaled deeply and suddenly screamed.

"HELP!" she bellowed at the top of her lungs.

"Zoey?" Ethan asked.

"Look mister I have no idea who you are!"

"Zoey I'm your dad!"

"I'm sorry. Look mister just let me go yeah. Your really scaring me. Look my parents are dead. Let me go yeah?"

She was putting in an Oscar performance. Ethan wasn't fooled though!

"Zoey Dammit I know it's you. I know I'm your dad! I've been looking for you for so long."

She inhaled and screamed again. A car pulled to a stop and two men climbed out. It was the police.

"Are you ok Miss?" one asked. Gave Ethan a deadly look.

"No this man grabbed me. You've got to help me!" she panicked.

"Sir?" the policeman asked. His hand automatically going to his holster.

"This is my daughter Zoey bell. She's been missing a year. I just found her." Ethan told them.

Zoey shook her head. "He's lying! I have no idea who he is!"

The policemen couldn't help but notice. The resemblance between them was undeniable.

"He grabbed me off the street." she said. "I'm not his daughter, he's trying to kidnap me!" she pressed.

One of the officers had been talking into his radio.

"There has been a report of a woman matching her description has been called in missing."

Zoey paled. Ethan noticed.

"Look I really have to go!" she said. Her voice shook with fear.

"NO!" Ethan grabbed her arm.

"Right sir, you can't just grab random people."

Ethan was arrested. "Zoey!" he said, a plea. "Don't disappear again! Please!"

Zoey ignored him and tried to walk away. Ethan was just about to fight when the other policeman stopped her.

"I think it might be best if you came to the station with us. Just until we get some information verified."

Ethan exhaled. Visibly relieved.

She was led and sat in the back of the car beside her father.

"Zoey you have no idea how good it is to see you angel." Ethan told her.

"Zoey? I don't know a Zoey." she said nonchalantly.

"I know it's you baby. I'm your dad I'd know you anywhere you've changed a lot over the last year. You look more like your mum now - your beautiful."

Zoey rolled her eyes. "Can you tell him not to talk to me please?" she asked the officers.

"Zoey I'm your dad." Ethan told her for what felt like the hundredth time.

Zoey had grown sick of it. It was all lies! "No your not. I KNOW your NOT!" she spat. Her eyes full of anger. Her tone full of venom. She crossed her arms and glared out of the window. Saw the Johannesburg scenery speed by.

"Zoey." Ethan said.

She ignored him.

"What happened to your left hand?"

She looked and saw that it hung uselessly. Her dad was looking at it worriedly. She hadn't had much use of it since the cabin a year ago. It had healed badly and she had partial movement. She had forgot about it. Hadn't tried to use it in a long time.

"None of your business. Your nothing to me!" she was determined to keep up the pretence for as long as she could.

Ethan decided then to keep quiet. They'd get Lexi down to identify her. Or do whatever else. They wouldn't let her go. She was safe! She was alive. God he felt like crying! She wasn't…

Zoey glanced over at him. Then looked away quickly. every time he saw her face he was even more certain of who she was. She had changed so much in the lat year she was still his daughter. He could see himself in her eyes and stubborn attitude. Her face though, where she used to look like him had changed into her mother. She had lost the residual baby fat. Her face had matured. He saw Lexi. He hadn't been lying to her. His daughter had changed from a gorgeous little girl into a beautiful teenager on the cusp of becoming a woman.

(X)

Lexi had arrived at the police station. Hesitated. Did she really want to go in there and have to identify her baby girl? Her heart pounded and she felt the beginnings of a headache forming. Make that a migraine. She felt sick to the pit of her stomach. She inhaled deeply. Right, why delay the inevitable. She may as well go and have her world fall apart!

She walked to the reception and told them her name. They nodded stiffly and led her through the back. O God her daughters body lay in there somewhere. Was it too late for her to run away?

They stopped her in the corridor.

"Your husband is in the cells." the officer told her.

Ethan was here? Then his words registered. He was in the cells. "Why?"

He grabbed a young girl off the street." the officer said seriously.

Lexi paled.

"The young girl is very angry. Sat in our interview room."

"Can I go apologise to her for him? He's been under a lot of stress recently. With our daughter being missing." she said softly.

"He is adamant that the young girl is Zoey Bell."

Lexi covered her mouth with her hand. Her eyes wide. "Is it?" she squeaked. Too scared to hope.

"Come with us Mrs Bell." he led her to a room and asked her to wait outside for a second. Walked inside.

"NO! I don't want to see her!" came from inside the room.

Lexi knew that voice! She opened the door with so much force she almost went through it. She saw an angry young woman sitting at a table with a can of pop in front of her. The girl had Ethan's eyes. Lexi promptly burst into tears and ran over. Hugged Zoey tightly. "I've been so worried about you baby!" Lexi said between sobs. Tears slid down her cheeks.

"Get off me!" Zoey pushed Lexi away forcefully.

Lexi got a closer look at Zoey's face. It looked sunken. She looked older then 15. Her eyes which used to be bright and sparkle were hard and brittle. Shuttered. She was far thinner too.

"Zoey." Lexi asked cautiously.

"I don't know anyone by that name!" she spat.

Lexi looked at the officer for confirmation. He nodded. "We've fingerprinted her. They match the ones we took from your house."

Zoey crossed her arms. Disgust on her face.

"Can we have a minute?" Lexi asked.

The policeman nodded and left. Zoey didn't look at her. Looked down at her can and studied the picture intensely.

"Zoey baby are you ok?"

Zoey continued staring at her can.

"Where you been?" Lexi asked.

"Away from you and Ethan." Zoey answered. Her voice held no emotion.

"Me and your dad? Why would you…."

"Your not my parents!" Zoey interrupted. "I hate you. Both of you. Your liars!" her voice harsh.

"Zo." Lexi started.

"Zoey!" she warned her mum. She hated that nickname.

"The police have been looking for you for so long." Lexi mentioned trying to change the subject.

"If I wanted to come home I would have. I was happy!" she lied.

"Your only 15. You have to come home!"

"I'll run away again. I don't wanna be with you!" Lexi replied angrily.

"We're your parents Zo we'll get you back coz we love you." Lexi told her softly.

"No you don't love me! If he loves me then where is her? AND IT'S ZOEY!" William had called her Zo. No one else called her Zo anymore!

"Your dad is in the cells, for grabbing you."

"Well he can rot for all I care!" Zoey hissed.

"Zoey what happened to you? What made you like this?"

Zoey looked away from her mum.

"Are you gonna drop the charges against your dad?"

"Are you gonna make me come and live with you?" Zoey countered.

"It's the law Zoey."

"Fair enough then. He can rot!" she said simply.

"Zoey please." Lexi pleaded.

"So you fell for his lies again? Your back together?"

"No we aren't Zoey. I haven't seen him in over 10 months."

Zoey frowned. "So he left you for good?"

Lexi shook her head. "No. He was looking for you. He was losing his mind with worry. He only did what he did coz he loves you. Don't punish him for that."

"FINE!" Zoey snapped.

Lexi looked at her.

"How is Ethan? EJ?" her voice had softened for a moment.

"I'll telly out he truth Zoey. Not to hurt you or to provoke you but because you'd find out eventually. He misses you. That quickly turned to dislike. He feels the same way about your dad."

"I guess I can't blame him." Zoey whispered. Again in her soft voice. That voice was so familiar to Lexi.

The officer walked back in.

"Zoey Is going to drop the charges."

The policeman nodded.

20 minutes later Ethan walked in - and got a frostier reception then lexi.

"Once we get home Zoey everything will go back to normal." Ethan told her.

"Normal?" Zoey asked incredulous. "Don't you get it? I hate you!"

Ethan looked taken aback.

"I know everything. I came home the next morning and heard what you said. Do you think I could stay knowing that?"

"Knowing what?" Lexi and Ethan asked together.

"That you both lied to me my whole life! He isn't my dad!" Zoey spat.

"Zoey I swear to you he IS your father!" Lexi promised.

"Why did you say not according to you? Go on then Alexis answer!"

Ethan's face turned dark. "Look I am your dad - and can you at least call her your mum, she isn't in doubt is she?" Ethan snapped at the hurt look on Lexi's face.

"Fine. Mother." Zoey said the name with disdain.

"Look Zoey. There is stuff about me…..stuff about me and your dad that happened when we were kids. You don't know about it. Stuff that happened when we was 15 that…." she exhaled. Me and your dad have a lot of history ok. You don't even know half of it. The long and short of it is he hurt me so in turn I used you to hurt him but there is no doubt Zoey. You're his daughter. Look at all your baby pictures. You're his double. You always have been. Just look at your eyes"

Ethan glanced at Lexi. He knew she had been alluding to the time when they thought her leukaemia had came back and he was gonna force her to have treatment. She in turn implied Zoey wasn't his to hurt him.

Zoey looked at them dubiously. "Why would you lie about something like that mum?"

"Coz I was young. And stupid. And he hurt me." lexi said. Also scared out of her mind that if Ethan had his way Zoey would have been in danger.

"I knew all along that you were mine Zoey. Your mum isn't like that." Or she hadn't been he thought. Until Xander!

"So you use your kids to point score then?" Zoey asked.

Lexi and Ethan looked uncomfortable.

"I suppose I HAVE to go back with you then?"

"Yes you do." Lexi told her.

"Well I don't want to." she said stubbornly.

"The alternative is care Zoey. We don't want that for you. It's not a nice place." Ethan told her seriously.

"How can you say that? You don't know what it's like." Zoey retorted.

"I know more than you think Zoey!" he replied.

"Yeah right. You probably had the perfect upbringing. Not that I know anything about it."

Ethan held his tongue. He hadn't wanted Zoey to know what happened to his mum.

"Lets go back to the house then." Zoey drawled.

"Zoey he is." Lexi said again.

"Like I care either way!" Zoey replied nastily.

Ethan had a feeling that by tomorrow they would be reporting her missing again.

**A/N ok so zoey is off home...but the story doesn't end here keep reading x**


	53. Zoey's Confusion

Ethan pulled the car to a stop outside Mini leopards Den. It looked…new.

"What?" he asked Lexi frowning.

"Later." she replied.

They glanced in the rear view mirror and saw Zoey sat looking angry with her arms crossed. Her old happy eyes seemed permanently dyed with darkness.

"I'll call Miss and ask her to pick up EJ when she collects Ryan." Lexi added.

The 3 people climbed from the car.

"Yeah that would be good." Ethan said and watched as Zoey walked into the house ahead of him.

"Your old room is the same Zoey." Lexi told her. The house was newly rebuilt and Lexi had tried to put her room as close to the original as possible.

Zoey looked around. "Place feels different." she murmured. Rubbed her arms.

"Zoey just promise you'll stay a few days. Please." Lexi asked her.

"Then what?" Zoey spun around. Arms crossed tightly.

Lexi exhaled. "We'll talk after a few days. Just so everyone can see you and know that your ok."

Zoey's eye's turned even darker. Lexi hadn't thought that was possible.

"I'm not a circus animal that can be paraded in front of everyone!" she hissed.

"We know. It's just everyone has been so worried." Lexi answered.

Zoey exhaled noisily.

"We all love you sweetheart." her dad added.

She looked at him and saw the sincerity in his eyes. Felt some of her anger melt away.

"Am I allowed to sit in my room?" Zoey asked. Looked at the floor.

Lexi and Ethan looked at each other. She asked permission, she had never done that before. They were silent for a beat too long.

"O I'm not allowed?" she said quickly. "That's fine."

"Whatever you want baby." Lexi answered.

"How long do I have in there?" she asked again.

Lexi and Ethan looked again. "What do you mean?" Ethan asked.

"How much time am I allowed in there?" Zoey asked wearily.

Allowed? Lexi wondered. "As long as you want."

"Oh ok." she walked in and closed the door.

"What was that about?" Ethan whispered.

Lexi shook her head in wonder.

They walked in the kitchen and Lexi embraced Ethan tightly.

"I've been so worried about you. Both of you." she breathed against his neck. Tears slid down her cheeks.

"It's ok. We're both home now." he rubbed her back.

She held him for the longest time. He absorbed all her hurt and anguish he had unintentionally helped cause.

"How did you find her?" Lexi asked.

"Accidentally. I was walking along the street and looked across the road and there she was. I was like whoa it can't be this easy. Not after she's been missing with no signs for a year. I crossed the road and followed her. After I was fairly certain it was her I grabbed her - hence my arrest."

She nodded but still hadn't released him from the circle of her arms.

"You can let me go, I'm not gonna disappear." he promised huskily.

"You shouldn't have last time!" she said forcefully. "We needed you here, especially after the crash!"

"I know Lex and I'm sorry but wherever she was she needed me too. She was alone out there coz we both know she wasn't with Swift."

Lexi nodded remembering her fear when the police told her that Swift had been found dead in suspicious circumstances. No sign of Zoey. Her fingerprints and hair were found at the scene. The hair had been pulled out by the root.

"…..wait a minute what crash?" Ethan demanded after a second break.

"Amie was lost in Borneo. Her plane went down. Somehow she got out but the plane she flew out of there ran out of fuel and she was aimed straight for us." Lexi told him.

Ethan paled.

"O yeah. Tore the roof straight off dad's house. Our house wasn't so lucky. The plane impacted and took down the entire right side. Me and Ethan haven't long moved back in."

"Ethan?" Ethan asked. "O you mean EJ?"

Lexi nodded. "He feels junior is inappropriate now. See he's the man of the house."

Ethan winced. "I sorta placed a lot of responsibility on him huh?"

"You don't know the half of it Eth. Don't expect a joyful welcome off him. He dislikes you. Both of you. He thinks you love Zoey more than him. You abandoned him. His words not mine. I tried to explain to him but you weren't here and his resentment was."

Ethan groaned.

"You just took off Eth. Without a word. One minute you were here and the next you weren't. You called sporadically and then your letters tapered off." Lexi said.

"I know and I'm sorry I missed you both so much!"

"I missed you too. You have no idea how much I missed you." she admitted.

His face turned cynical. "I'm sure you had other distractions." turned his back and walked away.

Zoey walked from her room. Saw her dad approaching and backed off automatically.

Ethan stopped. So Zoey did too.

"Do you mind if I use your shower?" she asked her mother.

"Zoey why do you ask for everything? This is your home." Lexi told her.

She looked at the floor and scuffed it with the toe of her trainer.

"Where have you been baby?" Lexi asked. Voice pained.

Zoey thought back to Swift. Seeing him killed in front of her. Certain she was next. Remembered William saved her from an unnecessary death.

"I was taken care of mum. He looked after me. Don't worry." all lies of course. Her mum would worry if she knew what Zoey had endured at his hands.

"He?" Lexi squeaked.

"I stopped fighting him and he was…..nice to me. Treated me ok as long as I did as I was told."

Fighting? Lexi thought panicked. What had she been through. "Zoey he didn't….." she started worriedly.

"I'm just gonna have a shower ok mum?"

Lexi nodded woodenly. Glanced at Ethan and saw him frowning at the bathroom door. His brown eyes troubled. He quickly walked towards her and pulled her into the kitchen.

"It could be too early to tell but she shouldn't be this matter of fact about he did to her. She shouldn't be saying that he was nice to her after he kept her locked up against her will. It sounds like Stockholm syndrome. It's something her mind does to ensure her own survival." they were in trouble if it was. He hoped it wasn't. "Or she could have been trained or conditioned by him to think a certain way or say certain things." his stomach dropped at the thought.

"What's Stockholm Syndrome?" Lexi asked concerned

"When a captive empathises with their kidnapper. Maybe even develops feelings for them."

Lexi felt sick. There was a possibility Zoey loved the guy? "He had her a year Ethan. God knows what he said and did to her!"

"Lexi we don't know yet. Try not to think about it. She only just got home."

He had tried and failed not to think about it. It was the only thought running around his brain.

"She's only a baby Eth." Lexi whispered.

"I know honey." he wrapped her in his arms. Hoping to give her some comfort.

"What we gonna do?" she asked.

"We deal with it later. Together." and when he found this guy….

Zoey emerged from the bathroom after the quickest shower known to man. Saw her parents hugging. Walked into her room disgust on her features. It was always about them! They had her home and what did they do? William was right, he had taken better care of her. He had at least been able to keep her there. Not that she had a choice about that. Not that she particularly liked it either! She definately wasn't going back to him. She'd rather die! He hadn't gave her a choice same way her parents didn't give her a choice about coming home. All she heard was orders from everyone. She hated orders. She wanted freedom. Needed to make choices of her own. Then again what would she do if she actually had a choice? She had chose swift and he had been a monumental mistake. She had chose to run away and look what happened to her! All she seemed to make was wrong choices.

Maybe she needed the choices to be made for her. So she didn't get herself into trouble again! Was it safer just letting people direct you? Had William again kept her safe by not letting her decide anything? God she was confused. Everything was more complicated now that she was home. It hadn't been like this with William. It had been simpler. It would have been good if he hadn't…. But wait! She wanted to be home right? She was finally with her parents. Was going to see her little brother! Things she had prayed for. Her simple life though….how did she feel losing that? She put her hands on her head as she realised that although she hated William she missed her simple life. She squeezed it trying to force that notion from her mind. She had all these questions whizzing around that she had no answers to. A fleeting thought passed through her mind that scared the life out of her….. She wished William was here to tell her what was right!

**A/N awww poor zo :(  
Give me your thoughts on this. tell me if your like disturbed by it i wasn't sure whether to write it like this or not x**


	54. Emotions

Zoey looked around her room an hour later. Getting to know the place again. Looked in her drawers and wardrobe. Noted that all the clothes were new. The bed, the TV the hi-fi were all brand new too. She wanted to play some music but she was afraid to ask. She had asked for so much already and William got angry if she asked for too much. But William isn't here! Best still ask though. Don't want to upset them. Who knows how much they have changed in the past year! Actually no she would sit here in silence. So she sat on her bed. Did nothing like she had for the past few months. Heard the sounds of the bush. They were strangely comforting. She felt safe here. Protected. She hadn't felt that way in a while. Unknowingly she scooted down the bed until she was lain down. She rolled into a tight ball. The way she slept since William took her, she blinked a few times, then her eyes shut and she fell into a dreamless sleep.

(X)

"It's really quiet in there!" Ethan murmured to Lexi at the kitchen table. "You think she's done a runner?" his eyes never left Zoey's bedroom door.

Lexi also eyed the bedroom door. "What do you think?"

He shrugged. The clock ticked monotonously. No sounds penetrated the silence that had fallen over the house.

How about I go down and check?" Ethan suggested.

Lexi looked pensive, then nodded.

He walked down the hallway and knocked on the door. "Zoey?"

No answer. Silence reigned. Ethan shared a panicked look with Lexi and tried again. Harder.

"Zoey!" when the only reply was silence again he spoke to Lexi. "Right I'm going in!"

Lexi stood up sharply and came down the hallway.

Ethan walked in and saw Zoey lain in the foetal position on her bed. Her brown hair was falling over her face. He exhaled. She still didn't move. He walked over to her wardrobe and retrieved a fleece. He placed it over her gently.

As he did she rolled over and was on her back. She saw a man stood over her. Her vision still blurred from sleep.

"NO!…...NO!" she panicked. Tried to get up but only succeeded in getting her arms and legs tangled in the blanket. She ended up rolling and falling on the floor breathing heavily. Arms and legs flailing.

"Zoey calm…." Ethan walked around but she was on her feet. Her eyes full of tears. Lexi watched from the door of the bedroom.

"You don't come in here!" Zoey yelled shaking. "You NEVER EVER EVER come in here ok!" she yelled to her dad. Picked up her pillow and hugged it.

He nodded calmly. "I'm sorry Zoey."

The tears which had welled crested and she hid her face in her pillow. He motioned Lexi forward as he backed off. As they crossed the look they shared was one of equal torture. They were in no doubt as to what Zoey had suffered now. That reaction alone proved it.

"Zoey." Lexi murmured.

Zoey ignored her. Lexi looked behind her and saw that Ethan had left the room.

"Your dad has gone." Lexi whispered.

Zoey looked up.

"Bad dream?" Lexi asked. Her daughter hadn't had one in her life. She was too strong for them or had been...

Zoey shook her head.

Lexi waited for her to elaborate.

"I'm not telling you anything!" Zoey snapped.

"Fine. I'm just wondering whether your hungry."

She felt sick actually. Probably an after effect of losing the monster! "No I'm fine."

Lexi nodded. "EJ is home from school soon. I left a message on his phone."

"Is he much different?" Zoey asked after a slight pause.

Lexi pulled out her phone. Picked a recent picture. Handed it to Zoey. Zoey was looking at a younger, angrier version of her dad. "He looks different from what I remember." Zoey murmured.

"He is a lot different. Physically as well as his personality. His voice broke and is deeper now. He's almost as tall as me and he's 13. He's angrier now. He doesn't smile as often as he used to."

Zoey exhaled still looking at the phone. "So I'm the only short one in the family now?" she hadn't grown an inch while she was away.

"I hit 6 foot at fourteen, your dad didn't til he was your age. You might be like him. Then again you might take after your nana and auntie Amie."

Zoey was quiet again. Sat on her bed. Smoothed the rumpled sheet in front of her repeatedly. "How is everyone?"

"Granddad and Missy are the same. Engaged. Well married but Miss wants to do it at home properly. Amie is in the army now. Secret service."

Zoey looked up and raised her eyebrows. "Whoa."

Lexi smiled. "Daniel is Daniel and Ryan is as always Ryan."

Zoey nodded. Lexi stood in an awkward silence. Zoey re-focused on her bed. Pretending that this plain white sheet was like her soul. Clean and untarnished…except her soul wasn't like that was it? And her body...she had been changed forever! She'd never be white again! White was innocent and like hell was she innocent. William had made sure of that. Made sure that there would be no way she'd ever be able to forget him. I mean you never forget your first time do you? She thought bitterly and grabbed handfuls of her sheet and ripped it off her bed. Threw it on the floor roughly. Then she remembered she wasn't alone. Looked up and saw her mother frowning at her.

"What?" she asked defensively. "Wondering what's going through my head?"

"We just wanna help you!"

Zoey bit back a scathing retort. Balled her hands into fists. Sat at a desk with her back to her mother.

"Tea will be ready soon." Lexi said softly.

Zoey's head moved a fraction. William hated when she showed her temper like that! Forget him Zoey HE ISN'T HERE! She told her self sternly.

"I'll just….." Lexi started.

"Can I put some music on? It'll be really low. You won't even hear it." she asked a whisper. Looked back a little. Eyes weary.

"Go ahead. We don't mind as long as it's not really loud."

Zoey looked at her suspiciously. Wondering what her mother wanted in return. Nothing for nothing! William always told her.

"You don't have to ask for permission for stuff you know." Lexi told her.

"You mean you won't…." Zoey stopped herself from finishing.

Lexi looked at her worriedly.

"It's nothing." Zoey assured shaking her head. Pleading for understanding with her eyes.

Lexi nodded and left the room. Exhaled as she closed the door behind her. Ran her hand down her face wearily.

"How is she?" Ethan asked walking towards her. As he reached her he directed her away from Zoey's door. Stopped further down the hallway.

"I have no idea! She's so….." Lexi searched for the right word."…careful with what she says and does. She screens everything she says. Like she's scared in case she says the wrong thing. Always asking permission like we're gonna kick off."

Ethan frowned. "Should I counsel her?"

"You're the expert at this stuff Eth."

Yeah but it was his little girl. How in the world was he supposed to keep objectivity. It was unlikely she would talk to him anyway!

His thoughts were broken off by a car pulling to a stop and 3 male voices drifting into the house.

"Mum, Samuel and Zeth are here!" EJ called. Walked into the house. "Sorry my battery died on my phone I know….." he walked into the house and saw his dad standing there. Was taken aback then froze.

"C'mon Eth what you stood there for?" a tall young man asked.

"Hello Samuel Zeth. Why don't you two come in the kitchen a minute yeah?" Lexi asked leaving father and son alone.

The boys and Lexi disappeared into the kitchen.

"What are you doing here?" EJ asked his father coldly.

"I'm home son." Ethan replied.

EJ flinched at the name, his eyes narrowed. "I'm gonna go see my friends."

"Zoey is home." Ethan told him.

"You found her?" EJ squeaked. Of course he did. Daddies little girl! EJ thought bitterly.

"Yes son I did. She's sat in her room."EJ looked torn. Then schooled his features. "I don't care!" he fumed. Walked into the kitchen. "C'mon guys we'll go in my room." he said dryly. Shoved passed his dad when he approached his room. One of his friends sniggered and Ethan sent the boy a dark look.

When the boys were in there EJ gave his dad one last black look. "Go crawl back under your rock!" he hissed and slammed the door.

(X)

Zoey opened her wardrobe. Saw a whole array of clothes in front of her. When she was at Williams she only had 4 outfits and he picked what she wore everyday. His favourite being this nasty short skirt that redefined the word short! She had deliberately 'lost' it so he went out and bought an even shorter one. One that was like age 13. She is 15. She remembered the look in his eyes as he would look at her in that skirt, felt sickness rise and forced it away. She pulled the skirts our of there and shoved them in the bin by her bed. She wasn't wearing skirts anymore! Jeans were good. Tracksuit bottoms better! Baggy tracksuit bottoms. She grabbed a random pair of jeans and t-shirt. Didn't care whether they matched or not. She wasn't interested in looking good for anybody. She pulled the brush through her damp hair. It curled down her back. Longer then she could ever remember having it. She needed it cut. Her friends used to do it for her. They probably didn't remember her. And the ones who did wouldn't recognise her now. She couldn't remember the girl she used to be. She yearned to find her. To pick up the phone and call her friends. To be normal again. She needed the bathroom. Walked out of the room to find her mum to ask. She walked out of her room. Looking at the floor. She walked into a large boy who grabbed her upper arms to steady her.

"Whoa!" he said. "Steady."

Zoey froze. Looked at the hands in panic. "E….E….EJ?" she stuttered.

The boy looked her up and down. Smiled at her appreciatively. "Hellooooooooooooooooooo" he drew out the 'o' Ran his hands down her arms as he released her.

She took a step back automatically. Knew this wasn't her brother. he wouldn't touch her like that!

The boy took a step towards her. "I'm Samuel. Who are you?"

She took another step back. Her mind went completely blank.

"Your Ethan's girlfriend? I must say your good looking. But see I'm far better then him."

Her throat was dry she tried to speak but couldn't seem to form a word.

"So then gorgeous. How about it?" he murmured. "Should I take your silence as a yes?"her back was against the wall and he was right in her face now. Her hands were flat against the wall and completely soaked. Her heart was pounding. She wanted to cry. She wanted him away. She wanted her own space. She did the only thing she could think of. She raised her knee as quick as she could. Connected. The boy grunted then hit the floor holding himself. At that same moment EJ walked from his room.

"Sam what you doing on the….." he saw a young girl with her back against a wall. She looked like… "Zoey?" he asked as he saw her.

Zoey was breathing heavily. Looked at him for a split second then ran into her room. Closed the door.

EJ shook his head. "Look guys it might be best if you two go home. It's not the best time to be around here right now."

"Who was she?" Samuel asked breathless strangled. Picked himself off the floor.

"My sister." he said dryly.

"But she's missing!" Zeth mentioned.

"My dad found her and brought her home."

"She's psycho!" Samuel declared.

Ethan turned on him. "Watch what you say Sam! I won't stand for it!" he warned coldly. Even if she was completely unhinged she was still his sister and no one bad mouthed her in front of him!

Samuel backed off.

"Plus you need to stop crowding girls. You get right in their faces. Girls like space!"

"Just coz you got a girlfriend." Samuel muttered.

EJ smiled cockily. "Girls love me." he drawled. Well except for the one he really wanted. That matter was in hand though!

"Yeah for some reason they go and for you." Zeth said in disgust.

EJ shrugged.

"Shame you only go out with one at a time." Samuel murmured.

EJ shook his head. "You NEVER mess around with 2 girls. Do you realise what they would do to you when they found out?"

Both boys laughed nodding in agreement "Anyway I'll see you both at school tomorrow, and I'll make Zoey apologise to you too mate." he said to Samuel.

Samuel shrugged and they walked from the house and waited for a car to come and pick them up.

**A/N hope this chapter conveyed the helter skelter of emotions Zoey is going through. especially when it comes to her parents. more to come. x**


	55. More Tears

Zoey sat in her bedroom trying to slow her breathing. What was wrong with her? He was a thirteen year old boy for God's sake. He looked older though and he towered over her. He just got really close really fast and she couldn't handle it. After he tried to touch her that was it. He couldn't touch her so she just went for it. She just panicked! What were a bunch of random guys doing in the house anyway. And why hadn't EJ come to see her when he got home? He had to have known she was home. Did he really hate her that much that he didn't even want to see her?

There was a soft knock at her door and then someone walked right in. She jumped.

"You have no right laying a hand on one of my friends!" EJ fumed.

She sat on her bed quietly.

"Well?" he asked angrily.

She continued looking at him from her spot on the bed. Decided not to answer.

"Answer me!" he yelled.

She sat and stared at him intently. Felt her throat growing tight.

"God what is wrong with you?" his face still angry but at the same time confused.

She looked at him. Inhaled deeply. "I haven't seen you in a year and this is how you greet me." she finally whispered.

"YOU left US. Not the other way around!" he yelled. "That was always your problem. You dramatised things! Queen Zoey a drama a day!"

Zoey felt the tightness grow by leaps and bounds. Bit her lip. She brought her knees up to her chin, wrapped her arms around them and hid her face. Her shoulders shook slightly.

EJ froze. "Zo?" he asked softly.

"Go away!" she gulped in a breath.

"Zo?" he asked again. Worried. She had never cried in front of him before. She had always declared that she would die before she cried in front of him!

"I wanted to see you so much." her voice shook. "I never thought you'd….."

He sat on her bed. Feeling uneasy. Feeling guilty. "I'm sorry Zo. I just…..we struggled when you disappeared. Dad went psycho. Mum smothered me. Went way over protective. This was after the invisible phase!"

He still saw her shaking. "C'mon Zo." he pleaded. "Don't cry. Please." got up and grabbed her tissues.

She reached out blindly. Still hiding her face. "Thanks." pulled a few out. Dried her eyes. After she dabbed her eyes and blew her nose she looked up.

"Look EJ can you call me Zoey please I don't…..like Zo anymore."

He nodded. "Sure Zoey."

They sat.

"So." he said awkwardly. Tapped his hands on his legs.

"So?" she asked.

"Well, what do we do? Talk about?" EJ asked.

"Nothing, coz we never did before." Zoey told him. "Look you don't have to spend time with me now." looked out of the window.

"Where were you Zoey?" he asked. "I was well worried." he admitted in a whisper.

She looked at him. Saw he was serious.

"I lived in house with someone." she said finally.

"Someone as in a man?" his voice shook.

Zoey looked own at her bed. Nodded a little. "It wasn't like I had a choice either." she inhaled. "He took care of me though." she assured.

"He didn't let you come home?" EJ asked.

She shook her head.

"So he was a bastard to you?" he hissed. Fists clenched. "He kept you prisoner?"

Her head snapped up. "Don't talk like that about William!" she fumed. Shocked herself. Where in the hell had that came from?

"William?" he asked in disgust. "Your on a first name basis with this guy? He's a freaking paedophile!"

"Don't talk about him like that ok! He cared for me!"

"He wouldn't let you leave Zoey. That isn't care. It's control!"

"No." she shook her head. "He protected me! He didn't control me! He made the decisions and kept me there coz that's what was best for me!"

Lexi appeared at her bedroom door.

EJ turned to her. "Do you know what she is saying about this guy?" EJ fumed. "What she's thinking?"

"Zoey." Lexi started.

"Tell him to shut up mum!" she pleaded.

"What?" Lexi asked.

"He's bad mouthing William. Make him stop!" Zoey looked pained.

"William?" Lexi asked incredulous. "Look Zoey…."

"Not you too mum. Don't you get it? He cared about me. He loved me!"" she told them.

Lexi's face turned purple. "NO ZOEY! STOP RIGHT THERE!" Lexi shouted.

Zoey froze.

She calmed herself. "Look baby he doesn't love you. Not the way normal people love."

"How do you know?" Zoey fumed.

"I know real love. What he did to you wasn't love. It isn't what me and your father have. It isn't what Missy and your granddad have either. Not even close."

EJ nodded vigorously in agreement.

Ethan appeared at the door. "What's?…."

"I want to be alone!" Zoey declared.

"Ethan tell your daughter that that monster didn't love her in a healthy way."

Ethan paled. "Lexi don't." he whispered. "You'll push her too far."

2meanwhile Zoey's face had changed. "He isn't a monster!" Zoey cried. YES he is Zoey! Her mind cried. You said so and thought so yourself so many times! What makes it different now that you are home? She grabbed her head distressed.

"I refuse to let her believe that crap for one more second Ethan!" Lexi hissed.

"She isn't ready to hear this Lex so back off!" he warned. "She'll run!" he stressed.

Lexi paled. Inhaled deeply. "Look we'll leave…"

"What you listening to him for mum?" EJ shouted. "You know what ZO if you think he loves you you're an idiot. If his love is so brilliant that you'll protect him then why not just run back to him?" EJ spat.

Zoey's eyes widened and filled again. She ran from her bedroom and out of the front door.

"ETHAN!" His dad yelled. "If she disappears again coz of what you said…"

"You'll what?" EJ spat. He was nose to nose with his dad.

They both glared for a second.

"I'm going to find my little girl!" Ethan said angrily then walked from the room.

"Same as always!" EJ called from behind him.

"Ethan!" Lexi said to him angrily. "What were you thinking saying that to her? Don't you understand she is fragile?"

"Fragile. See I thought she was off her freaking nut!" he spat. "Don't sugar-coat it for me mum. I know the truth."

Lexi glared at him.

"I meant what I said to her. If he loves her why shouldn't she go back?"

"You ever hear something of Stockholm syndrome EJ?"

He frowned. "No."

"When someone is kidnapped, sometimes as a self defence mechanism they empathise with their kidnappers. To keep themselves alive. When they are freed they eventually work through it. At the moment she is confused. She needs to be handled gently."she should have waited until the kids were in bed to read up on Stockholm syndrome but she had to find a way to help Zoey. By leaving them alone Ethan had went in and it had of course kicked off.

He crossed his arms. "So I'm invisible again coz she is home?"

"No son." Lexi tried to assure him but he didn't believe her.

"HE threatened me then ran after her and YOU let him!" he hissed.

Lexi exhaled. "You and your dad have to sort this out."

"NO! I hate him and I hate her. They can both leave me alone!" he stomped from Zoey's room into his own.

Lexi walked from the room and again rubbed her face. A man and woman walked into the house.

"Is she ok for visitors?"

"Who the hell are you?" Lexi hissed.

(X)

Zoey's mind reeled as she walked from the house. They thought she should go back to William!

As she walked down the veranda stairs she heard a voice yell. "There she is!" then she was blinded by a camera flash. She took a step back.

"Are you the kidnappee who was returned?" a mic and camcorder were thrust in her face.

She froze.

"How does it feel like to be home? Tell us who had you?" a woman asked.

She felt her heart pounding as the questions were fired like darts.

"Zoey baby." he dad said as he approached. "Ethan didn't….WHAT?" he raged.

He looked at Zoey's distressed face. Ran to her and shielded her from the camera. She pressed her face into his back.

"Right get away from her NOW!"

"But the world wants to know and share your happiness."

He felt Zoey grip his arms with her hands. His anger built.

"You have 5 seconds to get yourself away from here!" Ethan warned coldly.

"Just tell us sir how it feels to have your daughter back." the male reporter suggested with a false smile.

"How about I tell the world how it feels to break your jaw if you don't leave my little girl alone!"

The reported looked at Ethan's clenched fists then backed off slowly.

Zoey slowly released her death grip on her dad's arms.

He turned. "Zoey it's ok." he rubbed her hair. "They are gone now, your fine."

She had just froze.

"I'm here baby." he told her.

He was here? Her anger suddenly exploded at those words. He was here now. Too little too late!

"Where were you when I needed you? Huh daddy?" the name a sneer. "NOWHERE! I was locked up with him alone and it's all your fault! Leave me alone. I want you gone!" she spat. Jogged down the stairs away from her home and her father.

(X)

Zoey had no idea where she was going when she ran off. She just had to get away! Look out point was her first thought but she had took Swift there and didn't feel like repeating history. Everything that had happened to her in the last year whirled around her head. She inhaled sharply. Everything that EJ and her dad said wouldn't leave her either. Her mum was right. EJ hated her, she had did nothing to him and he said things like to her. God if he knew what she had been through at Williams hands then he wouldn't say stuff like that to her. She was so confused. People telling how she think and feel. Only her dad understood which didn't help her coz guess what, she hated him as well. William has said he loved her and told her she should love him back. She had grown to believe that he did love her. But like hell did she love him back! But see if he loved her then why didn't he let her go home? Why did he beat her up? And force her to do stuff against her will? Why abuse her physically, mentally and verbally every day? That wasn't love! That was screwed up! She stopped running and placed her head against the tree. Felt the rough bark chafing her skin.

It wasn't supposed to be this hard! She dreamed that when she got home she'd be happy and love her parents. All she felt when she looked at them was a burning resentment, she couldn't even look at her dad! She'd thought that EJ would smile at her. Maybe even hug her. She didn't go as far as to believe he'd say that he loved her but she had planned to tell him that. They were all supposed to have a happy ending. It wasn't happening like that! All she got from EJ was cold indifference. An old picture on her wall sat in the drawer in her room, she used to keep it on her wall. It had been her favourite of them. They looked so alike on it. She was 6 and she was on his shoulders covered in ice cream it was dripping in his hair but he wasn't bothered. They used to be so alike. She used to worship him…..but now. She exhaled tiredly. And her mum. She wanted so badly just to hug her. Just for a little physical comfort but she couldn't. how do you ask? Of curse she knew how to ask but she just couldn't! she felt so alone. No one knew how she felt. She had been a prisoner for a year. With only herself to jeep her spirits up. How she had kept herself alive she really didn't know!

"Zoey!" she heard her dad's voice.

She turned and let her back slide down the tree until she was sitting. Pulled her knees up and rested her face on them.

Her dad appeared. "Zoey baby please don't run off like that!" he begged breathless.

She stayed quiet. Held back tears that threatened to fall.

"You wanna come home? I got rid of the parasites that scared you. I'm so sorry you had to go through that." he said softly.

She had nothing to say.

"Zoey baby talk to me." he pleaded.

She inhaled deeply. "Why is it so hard dad?" she whispered. Looked up at him. Her brown eyes held shadows and were tortured. They looked far older then 15 years old.

"Your just adjusting, that's all." he sat down opposite her.

"William told me all this stuff and now I'm doubting but this nagging insistent little voice keeps telling me that William is right and all you are wrong and….." she exhaled held her head. "Even now it's there dad and it's driving me crazy!" she wailed.

"You did what you had to do to survive angel. That little voice is self preservation." he told her gently. "It doesn't know your safe yet."

"But I'm home. I see home. I see family. That voice isn't needed anymore. I didn't hear it at Williams!"

"It doesn't work like that baby. It'll go away eventually."

"What if it drives me crazy in the process?" she whispered.

Ethan looked at his daughter. Hated that she was going through this and he couldn't help her.

"EJ." she whimpered and covered her eyes once again.

"He's young Zo. He'll get there. He's just angry."

She flinched at the name and looked up again. "Can you please not call me Zo dad. Anything but Zo. He called me Zo. Hearing that name makes me feel sick!"

Ethan nodded seriously.

"Dad, can I just not go to the police tomorrow? Please. Can't I just forget it?" she pleaded.

"You can work on forgetting it soon." he promised.

She closed her eyes. "Did you really look for me for 10 months?"

He nodded.

"Why?" she asked confused.

"Coz the police weren't getting anywhere and I felt…I HAD to find you."

They sat in silence. Zoey pondering her dad's words. He HAD to find her.

"I hate this silence that seems to hang around me now. It happened with mum. Then EJ and now you. No one knows what to say to me anymore. Like they are scared of upsetting me. It's hard I just…..I want to be normal again." she admitted.

"C'mon we'll get you back to the house. Sort you something to eat?"

She nodded. He offered her his hand but she got herself up onto her feet without help.

"We'll all get there Zoey. It'll take time but we will."

WE? She thought angrily. It wasn't 'them' who went through all that stuff it was her! What did they have to get over? She was alone. Anger rose again.

"Whatever!" she spat and stalked off.

Ethan exhaled and shook his head sadly. It had been going so well. One statement ruined it once again!

**A/N the whole family is struggling :/ will it get easier?**


	56. Problems

**Later that Night At Leopards Den**

Amie sat in the kitchen with Daniel.

"C'mon lucky 6!" she whispered and shook the dice.

"Will you just roll already!" he breathed.

She stuck her tongue out at him then rolled. 6 appeared.

"YES! Mayfair here I come!" she crowed.

He rolled his eyes. "This is only a game you know."

She shrugged and handed her money over. "In a games there are 2 things. Winners and losers. I refuse to be the latter!"

"Don't I know it." he muttered and rolled. Landed on Strand. Exhaled.

"Hand it over!" she laughed.

"God I'm your brother shouldn't you give me a discount?"

She made a face at him. "Are you out of your mind? I don't even give Miss a discount."

"I remember that too." Miss had asked one time and Amie refused which resulted in a fun fight in the middle of the floor. Amie conceded and gave her five pound off. Miss told her playfully to stuff it and gave her 5 pound more. Amie didn't refuse it, she actually took it which again resulted in another play fight with Miss demanding 10 pound back. Amie had declared that she only gave her 5 extra willingly. He and his dad didn't let Missy and Amie play monopoly anymore. They were both insane!

"Earth to Daniel. Hand over the money. Giving my your blank expression won't make me relent. I look at that face daily."

"Hey!"

She grinned. "You know I love you big bro."

"Just not enough to give me a discount."

"Alls fair in love and war. O and business too. I'll remember you when I make my millions as a hotel entrepreneur!"

"Why don't I just give up? We both know your gonna win." he suggested.

"No!" she whined. "Where's the fun in that? Decimation is my goal. I'll own you by the time we're finished!"

"I don't doubt it."

"Amie!" her dad called. "You have a visitor."

Amie frowned at Daniel. "For me? I've only been back a few days."

"Go on."

"I have the money counted." she warned.

He gave her a wounded expression. "Don't you trust me?"

"Of course not!" she said playfully.

"O Trev." a familiar voice called.

Amie looked at Daniel. Her face lit up. "Tom!" she jumped from her chair. "See you." Dashed down the hallway.

Daniel smiled and started clearing the monopoly away. She wouldn't be back. The look on her face told him that nothing would tear her away from Tom. Seemed his little sister was in love and she didn't even know it yet!

(X)

Amie emerged from the front door. Saw Tom lounging back on one of the chairs.

"Tick tock." he said and motioned to his watch. "I'm growing old here!"

She grinned and he stood up. They embraced tightly.

"So How are you? What you been up to? You look really good."

"Whoa there Amie!" he held his hands up.

"Sorry I just haven't seen you since…well three months ago and that was only 10 minutes."

"And you didn't have to save my life that time!" he told her proudly.

"Your finally learning how to take care of yourself!" she high fived him.

He nodded. His face turned serious, "I'm actually here on business Amie. Regarding Robert Burns."

She stiffened. She had forgot about Robert as soon as Tom's name was mentioned. "You got him?" she asked coldly. "The bastard who killed him. That was quick!"

He nodded and took her down the veranda stairs. "You injured him badly. He was found in the hospital. I knew you would have got a few good swipes in. He told us an interesting story." They walked by the trees in the dark.

Amie frowned.

"You were promoted ahead of Rob yes?"

Amie nodded. "Coz of Borneo."

"No coz your good at what you do. You should hear our superiors rave about you. The most naturally able recruit they've had in a long time."

She rolled her eyes. "Well?" she asked impatiently.

"O yeah. He always lost his train of thought when he looked at her. Everything always seemed to fade into insignificance. At first he had thought it was gratitude coz she saved his life but it was more than that. It grew after each time he saw her.

"Look Rob…." they stopped beside some huts. He rubbed his face. God he hated having to tell her this! "Rob was paid to lure you into Rashid Jnrs hands. We were provided with copies of checks and tapes. He recorded their conversations."

He had obviously been a willing participant in Amie's downfall. Even gloated that he would be the one to take her place when she was out of the picture!

"A preliminary check of his back account told us the rest. He wasn't careful. See he was expected to survive and you were expected to die. Then he was going to cover his own back. Help Rashid Jnr get away."

"He told me to run." she squeaked.

"Anyone who knows you even a little bit would know you wouldn't do that. He played on it." he said coldly. Fists clenched. "Rashid's soldiers don't make mistakes and he took on two and was still walking Amie."

Amie's face suddenly twisted with sadness. "But why?" she asked in disbelief.

"Coz you were better then him and he was jealous. He wanted your job is the best we can tell."

Amie wrapped her arms around herself suddenly cold she had feelings and Rob plotted against her. She knew it was true. Tom wouldn't lie to her. He had no reason to.

"You ok Amie?" he asked. Voice filled with compassion.

She leaned back against the hut and looked ahead. Searching her memory for any sign that Rob hated her that much. She couldn't find anything. There were no signs to predict this.

He walked ahead and hugged her. "I'm sorry. I was asked to tell you. Our bosses know we're close."

She cleared her throat. "Um, thank you. You know for getting the truth. And for telling me. I appreciate that it's you."

He backed off. "There's no excuse for betrayal like this!" he fumed. "You save lives. Not only mine but others in Borneo. Bosnia. Iraq. He isn't capable of that!" he began to pace agitatedly.

"But…."

"Dammit Amie no buts! If he wasn't already dead I'd kill him myself for what he tried to do to you!" he shook his head. "He planned this coz you got a promotion you actually deserved!" he said angrily.

Amie stared at him. Shocked at his impassioned declaration. She had never seen him like this before. He was always so controlled. She wondered if he kissed with so much passion. The thought sprang unbidden in hr mind. Whoa! She freaked herself out there.

He looked and saw her looking at him with a funny look on her face. "Amie you ok?" he walked towards her and was stood in front of her.

Her breath caught and her eyes lowered. She was looking at his lips. She swallowed thickly. "Kiss me." she told him.

"What?"

"Kiss me." she repeated.

He froze. He was her superior officer. She was on leave. He didn't care if they sacked him. He had to kiss her before she changed her mind. He leaned down and kissed her once. Chastely.

She groaned in frustration. "Properly." she demanded.

If that's what she wanted! He pulled her against him leant down and kissed her the way he'd been dying to for months. He poured everything he had into the kiss. He was slowly being filled by the taste of her. The fire that burned inside him was slowly beginning to grow and threatened to consume them both. She was kissing him back with as much heat as he was kissing her. He softened the kiss. Tried to make it as sweet as he could. Pulled away. Swallowed when he saw the slightly glazed look in her eyes. She looked drunk.

"Amie?" he whispered. His voice couldn't handle anything above that.

She frowned. Amie?….oh yeah Amie! She was Amie! God what had happened? Her brain had turned to complete and utter mush. She hadn't thought that a simple kiss could make you forget your name, that happened in books but here she was! She cleared her throat and tested her voice. "Can I um…have a minute?" she squeaked. "You know to gather my thoughts." and to force her brain to solidify and actually form coherent sentences. The thought of his lips on hers returned and she felt her brain going again. God! She thought.

"Why did you ask me to kiss you?" he asked.

Coz that was the only thing in the world she wanted. She had thought she would die of he said no. Somehow she knew he wouldn't. "I have no idea." she said quickly.

"Look Amie I'm your superior…."

"I want more than a kiss Tom." she told him seriously.

His face turned shocked. "Christ you don't hold back." he said on a breath.

"Life is for living. You need to tell people if you want something, Tom I want you."

"But…" he began.

"One night. One stolen night. I won't tell no one if you don't. No promises. No commitments. Just you and me."

It was her final statement that swayed him. Just him and her together. She offered him everything he wanted.

"I don't want this to change us." he said worriedly.

"No chance of it!" she assured.

He pulled her close and kissed her slow and long and deep. God his kisses should come with a health warning! "C'mon!" she said breathlessly and pulled him towards the closet hut.

(X)

Amie was dozing when she was brought to full wakefulness by soft lips on hers. She responded immediately. "Tom." she breathed. Pulled him closer. He pulled back and looked at her. She couldn't suppress a smile. They lay in their secluded haven alone. She wrapped her arms around his waist and found a spot on his chest. He tightened his hold.

"Amie…." he whispered.

"Ssshhh." she chided. "Just for a little while longer."

He wasn't gonna argue. So he closed his eyes.

(X)

Amie lay in bed. She knew that they had to get up. But as soon as they did that they would return to their professional working relationship. That wasn't enough for her anymore. In a way she wished this had never happened because now her feelings were all confused. The line between friend and other was now really blurry. In a way she regretted it …..but at the same time how could she? When she was feeling such…..God what was she feeling? That she would die for him? She nearly had! She forced the thought away.

"Can we stay here forever?" he murmured against her. Pressed a soft kiss on it.

"Nice thought." she agreed. "Just me and you."

She repeated the line that he loved. Just him and her. That was all they needed he thought. "Amie, do you feel anything?" he asked. "You know for…." he trailed off.

"I feel content. I feel happy. I feel…" God she felt loved! She felt like she was in…..she froze. What she felt was nothing like she felt for other friends. It was something deeper and much more complicated. God she couldn't be in….NO way! She refused! She didn't fall in love till she gave herself permission to fall in love! And that was final! He was her supervisor for God's sake! This was a mistake. This should never have happened! She jumped up.

"Amie?" he asked frowning.

"Look Tom. You don't have to worry. I'm not developing feelings. It was just for a night. Not even that! No commitments or promises." she said flippantly.

"Amie what happened to spook you?"

"I just remembered the promise we made. Lying in bed together like that. Talking about feelings. It's a little full on for no promises." she told him.

"Promises aren't a bad thing." he told her.

She froze. "What are you saying Tom?"

"That I like you. I have since I met you that day in training. The only one willing to come and try and take me on. Your cocky swagger and grin just hypnotised me. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since then. After everything else it's only got worse. The only thing that stopped me acting on it before this was the fact that I'm your superior but to be honest after nearly dying and before I don't really care!"

She looked scared for a second. "Tom." her voice shook. "I'm 21. This was a bit of fun for me. I don't wanna settle down."

His face changed. "I wasn't talking about settling down. I was talking about seeing more of each other. Getting to know each other."

Her face turned cynical. "Yeah until I get transferred or made to leave coz your rank is higher then mine and your worth more than me!" she spat. "This was a mistake Tom!"

She was right! He conceded. It would be here that lost everything - not him.

"Look Amie your right." he pulled on his shirt and buttoned it. "How about we just forget this happened? Go back to normal. We're friends. Friends do this sort of stuff all the time."

"You do this with all your friends?" she asked slowly. She felt a strange feeling stirring inside her it felt a lot like jealousy. Except stronger and harder to control. She wanted to hit something - hard!

Tom looked at Amie noticed her eyes held a strange light. "Well female ones." he lied. She was his first, and only.

Amie felt more jealousy rise and her voice grew hard. "So I'm one in a line for you?"

"No Amie. I really care about you. I want this to go somewhere. It's you who's messing us up."

"There is no us!" she fumed.

He opened his mouth to reply. She cut him off.

"Why Don't you just go before you dig yourself any deeper."

He was fuming now. "Why are you even bothered what woman I go out with?" he asked annoyed. "You obviously don't want me! Your 21 I'm abit of fun for you." he said imitating the way she said it. "At least I have feelings!"

He was fully dressed and so was she.

"What you feel Tom is just a remnant of Borneo."

He bristled. "I'm 25. I know the difference between gratitude and love!"

"Love?" she squeaked.

"Yeah." he pulled his coat on. "I'm sorry about Rob and I'm sorry abut earlier. I think it might be best if we don't see each other again!" he stomped out. "Bye Amie." he yelled without looking back.

Amie was frozen to the spot in the hut. She watched him go but didn't see him leave. Her heart was fluttering. Had been since his declaration. Christ! What about her though? She couldn't really be in love could she? She was too young! Her thoughts told her she couldn't be and she was sure she was. She wasn't ready to give up the army. But she knew she would die for him without any hesitation. She still craved excitement, yet in her mind she saw her and Tom in a quiet little house alone together. Why was love such a mass of blatant contradictions? He was right it might be best if they stayed away from each other. They were just confused. Give it a few months and they'd be back to normal. He wouldn't stay away from her forever! Right she was pulling herself together right now! Amie you're not in love. She refused to fall in love til she was ready! And another she was calling captain Barclay. Her leave was over. Work would help her sort out the mess her head was in!

(X)

Daniel sat in his room, on the phone to Amy again. "I really miss you." he murmured for the hundredth time.

"Me too." Amy breathed. "I need to see you so badly. Hearing your voice has made me feel better - marginally."

He murmured the song he sang to her every time she called.

"_I can't sleep tonight so tell me one more time.  
__When I dream it will be you that's on my mind.  
__It's my heart you hold. So never let it go.  
_"_I still love you and I'll never let you go."_

"You always make me cry when you sing that." she whispered.

"I'm sorry, how long til your finished?" he asked changing the subject.

"Too long!" she said softly.

"But then we have the whole summer from May right up to September. Just hang in there."

"But that's still months away yet." she whispered and sniffed.

He exhaled. Hated hearing her like this.

"I just called to hear your voice. You know before I go to sleep. I need you to know that I'm yours. I just wish we were together. I'm counting the days." she told him, voice shaking.

"I'm counting too honey. I see you running into my arms and I never let you go." he told her seriously.

"I'm gutted you couldn't come down to see me a few weeks ago." she whispered.

"O I know. The only time you had off coincided with a major vaccinating time with Leopard's Den and Mara. Dad offered to do it by himself but I couldn't let him." He didn't tell her that he nearly got himself seriously hurt. He was thinking of her and nearly got his hand taken off by a cheetah.

"I understand. It's pointless you coming down when I'm at uni. We'll never see each other. I work in a emergency vets. If I'm not at uni or work I'm asleep. Damn nightshift!"

"Soon!" he promised. "Then we'll be together."

"Ok." she breathed.

"It's late over there huh?" he asked. "You're an hour in front of us and it's 10:30 here."

"I don't care." she replied.

"I do." he told her. "You sleep and we'll talk tomorrow.

"I suppose my pillow will have to do tonight." she grumbled. "I wish it was you."

"Me too."

Someone knocked on his bedroom door. Opened it.

"I love you." he told Amy.

"I love you too. Goodnight." Amy murmured.

Amie stood at his bedroom door. He face the picture of disgust. "Amy?" she spat as he put the phone down.

"Lay off Ames. I haven't seen her in 4 months ok!"

Amie rolled her eyes. "You don't have to miss her. There's plenty of woman here. I could even introduce you to a couple."

His eyes darkened. "What's your problem?" he fumed.

"How long have you got Daniel?" she replied nonchalantly. "Personally I didn't see any redeeming features!"

His fists clenched. "I don't care how you feel or what you THINK you know! I love her and I know she loves me too. She rang me there coz she needed to hear my voice."

"God cue the violins!" she said dryly cynicism dripped from every word. "IF that is love then I want no part of it. I don't want to need someone that much. Christ!"

He shook his head. "You know what Amie just go away yeah. This is hard enough without having to deal with my smart ass little sister who knows absolutely nothing!" he turned and sat so his back was to her.

When Amie saw she had actually really upset him she relented. Just coz she was having problems he didn't deserve this. It wasn't his fault he loved Amy while she loathed her too. She exhaled and walked into the room. Sat on the bed beside him. Nudged his shoulder with hers. "I'm sorry Daniel. I suffer badly with foot in mouth disease. There's no known cure."

He nodded head down still looking at a picture of him and Amy by his bed. Amie glanced at it.

"It's so hard Amie. It wasn't supposed to be. We both thought that as long as we stayed in touch we wouldn't miss each other so much. It's harder then we both expected. Every time she calls it kills me. Her voice…..she sounds so upset which upsets me. She was in tears tonight Amie."

"You got it bad for her huh?" Amie asked.

"Like you wouldn't believe. I'd walk to the ends of the earth if she asked me to. If this isn't love then I don't know what is!"

"Why not go surprise her? Go visit."

"She's busy." he replied.

"So. I bet she would drop everything if she seen you. Dad can handle the surgery for a couple of days. I'll keep him in line. Go on you know you want to!" she urged. It went against everything inside her to do anything for Amy, but the way things were going she was going to be in the family for the duration. Like maybe even as her sister in law in the future and maybe even a mother to her nieces/nephews. God! All the woman in the world and Daniel fell for the one she hated.

Daniel was sat lost in thought. "I couldn't…."

"Don't think about it. There are a million good reason why you shouldn't. But one brilliant reason why you should!" she said convincing him.

Daniel slowly smiled. Amie knew she had convinced him.

"I swear I'm like sister of the millennium." she muttered.

"Yeah you are. I know you don't like her. But your trying."

"For you." she told him. "Coz you're my big brother and if she makes you happy I'll accept that. But if she hurts you….."

"Never happen!" he assured. "So what happened with Tom. You disappeared for a while."

"He told me what happened with Rob. Treacherous bastard!" she hissed.

He frowned. Then she remembered she hadn't told her family what happened to her. "Don't worry about it."

"Tom?" he hinted.

"Tom?" she repeated.

"Well is it love? Should I be threatening him?"

Amie paled. "Of course not it's not love!"

"You can't lie to me. When you heard his name your eyes lit up. You looked like mum did when she looked at dad."

Amie rolled her eyes. "Trust me I don't love Tom. Not now, not ever!" she lied.

He shrugged.

"I'm gonna have to say goodbye to you now. I'm back to work in a few days."

"But you had a month off."

"I'm needed." she lied.

He stood up and pulled her close. "Well little sis. Take care of your self." rubbed her back.

"You too. Keep an eye on the family for me too."

He pulled back and smiled. Ruffled her hair.

She playfully swung her fist softly. Hit his chest. "O you got me!" rolled his eyes.

"That's your warning." she told him seriously.

**A/N sorry about the length of this. didn't realise how long it was till i uploaded it. and the song is hawk nelson long ago. had to work it in somewhere i love it i've listened to it like a million times in 3 days. i could sing it backwards ive listened to it so much.**

**anyway im off the subject. amie and daniel both having a hard time with their relationships. keep readin for more trevanion drama :D x**


	57. Leila

Ryan was sat on the veranda with Leila. They had sat down after Amie had disappeared off with Tom.

"Please ignore my mum. She's a nutter."

Leila shook her head. "She obviously loves you."

"Your lucky she likes you. My dad told me what she did to Daniel's girlfriend. Mum saw her kissing another boy at the township." Ryan shook his head. "After that she urged Daniel to invite her over for tea. He was like 13 at the time. She came and mum was sat giving her evils right then Daniel brought her into her conversation. Asking how her meal was. The girl said it was really nice. Then mum leaned forward and said that's really good coz she really didn't mean to poison the last people who ate here. They made a full recovery, well nearly. Then looked down pointedly at her plate and smirked. This girl choked on the bite she had just put in her mouth. All hell broke loose after that. Daniel kicked right off. Mum said that you don't mess with her boys."

Leila smiled.

"But if she really likes you that's sometimes not better. I mean if she REALLY likes you. Worry!" he grinned. "Another of Daniels girlfriends visited when he was 15. It took him 2 years before he was willing to bring another one home!" he laughed. "Anyway she came and was introduced mum really liked her. Dad said she had planned to have them married by the end of the month!"

Leila smiled wider. He didn't know how lucky he was! "Yeah Ry. She just loves you all!" she repeated.

Ryan lowered his voice. "We could help you if you let me tell her. Just coz your mum did a runner your dad shouldn't….."

"Look it's not like he touches me in a bad way. He just gets angry sometimes. He say's sorry." Sometimes. Less frequently now. "He just struggles to bring me up on his own."

Ryan exhaled.

"You call me if he starts again. I can ask my dad or Daniel to come and pick you up ok."

"I'll be ok." she assured wined her hand with his.

"And if he kills you?" he whispered.

"He wouldn't go that far." she laid her head on his chest.

He checked his watch. Saw that she had to go home soon. He worried the whole time.

"I'm really sorry Ry." Leila murmured lifting her head.

He looked confused.

"About you and Ethan. I didn't mean to come between you two. Before I came in you and he were best friends at school. Now you don't even talk."

Ryan shook his head. "Ethan has an over inflated ego. Thinks all the girls love him. All you wanted was to be his friend. He thinks he's God's gift!"

"But still….." she started.

"No but's if he wants to have an attitude with me let him."

They spoke a little more. Then saw it was time for her to go home. He stood up, hugged her and kissed her softly. "We'll get mum to take you home. I'll meet you before school at the usual place yeah?"

She beamed at him. Nodded. They heard footsteps stomping up the veranda. It was EJ and he was spoiling for a fight.

"Go inside Lei." Ryan told her. "I'll be in in a minute."

She looked at Ethan. "But…."

Ryan turned her and pushed her inside gently. Closed the door. Faced EJ. Was taken off guard by a right hook. "You girlfriend stealing bastard!" EJ hissed.

"She was never your girlfriend EJ. You seeing Dena!" Ryan retorted. Fists raised. Till Leila walked outside. Ryan looked at her and dropped his hands immediately. Stood still as EJ hit him again.

"Hit me back!" EJ barked.

Missy came running outside and saw her son's nose was bleeding. He looked murderous.

"What is going on here?" she fumed.

"Nothing mum." Ryan said quickly. "EJ arrived but he was just leaving aren't you!" he spat angrily. Looked at his mum. "Leila needs to go home too."

Leila was looking at EJ with scared eyes.

"Yeah!" EJ spat sent Ryan a warning with his eyes which Ryan swiftly returned. Then stalked away.

Leila exhaled and went over to Ryan. Missy looked at him too. He was rubbing his jaw.

"This isn't over by a long shot Ryan. This hostility has been growing between you and EJ for months. You used to be close. Now you barely speak. And when you do it's yelling or single syllable answers. I wanna know what's going on!"

Ryan nodded. He touched Leila's face gently. "See you tomorrow."

She lowered her head. "I'm sorry." she whispered.

Ryan lifted her chin. "This isn't your fault." he smiled at her reassuringly.

He waved as they walked down the stairs and climbed in the car.

(X)

Missy arrived at home 30 minutes later. Knocked on Ryan's bedroom door. Walked and noticed his room was tidy - for a change.

"Ry." she said simply.

He'd cleaned up his face. Sat on his bed tapping his foot on the bed to the music. He looked up at his mum as she entered. He paused the music with his remote. "Did Leila get home ok?"

"yeah." Missy replied.

"How did her dad look?" he asked anxiously.

"Normal." she replied.

Ryan exhaled.

"Leila told me a little of what's been going on between you and EJ. How she's the cause."

"Mum she isn't the cause. It's him! He 's so sure all the girls around love him. He set his sights on her but she likes me and he's jealous!"

"Ryan your too young…."

He groaned and pressed play on his music and turned up the volume.

"Ryan!" she said sternly.

He turned the music up some more without looking at her.

"RYAN!" she shouted.

He started singing along with the song loudly.

Irritated by her song blatantly defying her, Missy walked over to his CD player and pressed stop.

He glared at her and pressed play. This carried on until Missy pulled the plug.

"Ryan your…."

"Don't start with the too young crap mum! Don't dare insult my intelligence by trying to tell me you didn't have boyfriends at 13!"

"I had boyfriends at 13. But I never fought with my family over them!" she retorted.

"HE has the problem. I didn't hit him back did I?" Till the next time he saw him alone. He couldn't wait. His fists itched for revenge!

"Yeah she told me that. Why didn't you hit him back?" Missy asked intrigued. Ryan was like her. Took a lot to get her going but when he was nothing short of a hurricane would pull him back. His face said I'm gonna kill him but he restrained himself. Maybe he was more like Danny then she thought!

"I can't tell you why I didn't hit him back." he said dryly crossing his arms.

Missy frowned. "Right Ryan…."

"I promised!" he told her. "But if you guessed by asking the right questions." he hinted.

She sat down on his bed.

"Is this to do with Leila?"

He nodded.

"School?"

Shook his head.

"Are other people except you and EJ involved?"

He nodded.

"Bullied maybe?"

"Not by the other kids." he said softly after a pause.

"By her parents?"

He held up a single finger. "Her mum took off."

"Her dad?" Missy asked.

He nodded.

"Her dad abuses her?" she asked and paled.

"He hits her. She says he doesn't touch her if you know what I mean." Ryan was unaware of the abuse his mum had suffered. "I think she's getting worried about it though. Like she said she gets ready beside her door coz he just walks in sometimes without knocking. And he looks at her and makes her uncomfortable."

Missy felt sick.

"That's why I couldn't hit EJ mum. Her dad hits her and I don't want her to be scared of me."

"Ryan ring her. Tell her I'm on my way over to pick her up." she told him.

"But…" he frowned.

"She can't be left there with him. She can't deal with this alone. He isn't gonna stop. When she's here we'll call the social."

"But you could get arrested for kidnapping if you take her."

"Ryan you are too young to realise the implications of what he'll do to her. How badly this will affect her!"

Ryan paled.

"Call her I'm going over!" she said stubbornly. "Ask her to be outside in 10 minutes if she can."

He nodded and his mum disappeared.

Missy left the house and jogged down the stairs towards the car she saw Amie.

"Miss?" Amie said.

"Ryan's girlfriends in trouble I'm going to get her."

Amie climbed in. "Two heads are better then one." she grinned. "And don't try to tell me to leave."

Missy started the car. Her phone rang. Amie pulled it from her picket. It was Ryan.

"Ryan what's wrong."

"Tell mum to hurry!" he panicked.

"Ryan calm down." Amie soothed.

"I spoke to her. She was whispering then I heard her dad yell and she screamed. There was a thump and then static!" he said voice shaking.

"Don't worry Ry. We're gonna get there." Amie promised.

He disconnected.

"Step on it Miss!" Amie urged. Amie felt the car speeding up.

(X)

They made it to the house in record time. The police were on the way.

"We should wit for the police Miss." Amie said with her hand on her arm.

Missy gave her a get real look. "And while we wait what is he doing to her in there?"

Amie nodded and climbed out too. They knocked on the door. It was all silent. Missy and Amie looked at each other. A high pitched scream split the air. Missy knew what was happening. "We need to get in!" she barked.

Amie began hitting the door with her shoulder. Missy meanwhile ran to the other side of the house and grabbed a piece of wood. Smashed the kitchen window. Climbed in.

"Leila?" she yelled.

"Quiet girl!" she heard a man hiss.

Missy ran up the stairs two by two. She was about to run into a room when she heard Leila's voice.

"Careful Melissa!" Leila yelled.

The door started moving on it' own. It hit her in the face and she stumbled back against a wall. Her eyes unfocused. When they cleared she saw a burly 6 foot man staring at her with an enraged expression. His muscles were tense.

"You shouldn't involve yourself in private family matters!" he hissed venomously.

"No dad!" Leila cried. He hit Leila in the face with his forearm. She fell back towards her room. "I'll deal with her and be a moment!" he said in a threatening manner. Missy recognised what he meant.

"No you won't you bastard!"

He aimed a punch at the side of her head. Missy felt like she had been hit in the head with a brick.

She heard Amie yell something to her from the other side of the front door but she didn't understand what it was.

Beef cake grabbed a fist full of her hair. Dragged her to the top of the stairs.

Amie appeared at the bottom. Looked at Missy standing at the edge of the top stair precariously. "Missy!" she yelped.

"Drain pipe!" she yelled. "I'll be fine Ames!"

Amie knew what she meant. Hesitated for a second. Knew that Missy would want Leila safe first and foremost. Shot her a look that screamed sorry and disappeared.

"Where are you going girl?" beef cake seethed.

Meanwhile Missy elbowed beefcake in his ribs. She felt it impact folds of flesh. He grunted and realised her hair. Backhanded her. She fell backwards ears ringing. He stood above her. Missy saw Amie from the corner of her eye picking up Leila. She shot Missy the sign for 2 minutes. Beef cake had his arm across her throat he pressed hard. He heard a noise behind him and saw Amie and Leila.

"What?" he roared.

"Move Amie!" Missy tried to yell. Her throat hoarse from the pressure he inflicted.

After that everything happened quickly.

Beefcake climbed off Missy. She got up too. She grabbed his arm to stop him advancing towards Amie and Leila. The front door exploded and fell down and a policeman appeared with his gun raised. Beefcake has spun so he was facing Miss. His back to the front door. He had his fist raised. The policeman took his shot and hit the man. Beefcake wobbled backwards towards the stairs. He suddenly reached out and grabbed Missy's collar and took her tumbling down the stairs with him.

**A/N drama drama drama :/**


	58. Consequences

Amie was on the grass in the back garden when there was deafening crash. She froze. Then a gunshot rang clear.

"Miss!" she whispered. She grabbed Leila's hand and ran. Gave her to a police officer.

"Miss…." The officer started.

"No time!" she panicked. Ran toward the front door. People crowded around.

"Missy!" she yelled. "Lemme in!" she pushed passed people. God she was gonna find Miss in a pool of blood she knew it. She should have helped her family instead of leaving her with a mad man. As she approached the police were crowded around a body and Amie's heart plummeted. God how was she supposed to tell her dad? Ryan? She got closer and noticed it was a man. Missy sat against the wall rubbing her lower back.

"My flipping coccyx!" she grumbled.

"Miss." Amie gasped in relief.

"Leila?" Miss asked when she saw Amie.

"With the police. Shaken up. The last I heard they were gonna have the paramedics look at her. I didn't hang around. I heard a gunshot." rubbed her eyes.

Missy winced as she tried to move.

"What happened?" Amie asked. "He hit you in the back?"

"Bastard pulled me down the stairs!"

Amie's eyes widened.

"Are you ok? Your head? Neck? Spine?"

Missy exhaled. "I'm ok. He yanked my collar then fell back over. I fell with him but as I fell over him momentum made me do a back flip over his chest. I bounced down the stairs on my bum." rubbed her lower back again. "The only damage he did was to hit me when he hit the bottom which sandwiched me between his body and the wall."

Amie shook her head. "Christ Miss you have more lives then a cat!" Amie breathed in relief.

"I'm running out Amie!" Miss told her seriously.

"I'm not surprised." Amie replied helping her up.

"You two are gonna have to come to the station with us." An officer told them.

"C'mon Ames." Missy said her hand pressed to her lower back as she walked. "I'm too old for this stuff!" she muttered.

Amie looked at her and smiled.

(X)

Ryan was a nervous wreck. "Dad how much longer?" he asked again.

"Amie and your mum have to make statements. Go to bed. You'll see them in the morning."

"What about Leila?" Ryan asked wringing his hands.

"Your mum is seeing if she can bring her here tonight."

Ryan nodded. Looked out of the window. "What did Amie say?"

No way was he telling his son what went on at that house. How his mum nearly got threw down some stairs then was actually pulled down them! His heart still hadn't started beating it's normal rhythm yet. He disregarded the question. Look Ry could you phone Lex and see if she could bring over some of Zoey's clothes for Leila. It'll be a little big but she'll better after a shower and change."

Ryan's face changed. "I shoulda thought of that!"

"Your 13 son. I have a lot more practice at girls then you. I have two daughters remember."

Ryan exhaled then rang Lexi. Then he fidgeted. 20 minutes later Lexi showed up and she had Zoey with her.

Danny beamed at the sight of her. "Hello baby girl. We're so happy your home!" he murmured. Resisted the urge to hug her. Lexi had rang earlier and said she was weird about men touching her. She had asked if they could hold off coming to see her, she was struggling. That was an understatement.

"Hello Granddad. Ryan."

"Zoey." Ryan said with a grin. Patted his pocket and winked.

A ghost of a smile passed across Zoey's face. "Dare." she warned softly. Falling back into an old game they used to play.

"Never could resist a dare!" he laughed. Stood up and put his hand in his pocket. Pulled out chewing gum. "Want one?"

Zoey shook her head and walked over and sat beside him.

Lexi was soon beside her dad. The kids were sat murmuring softly. Lexi looked at her dad.

(-)

Zoey took some gum from Ryan and sat down. "Thanks." she whispered.

"Your lucky. More planning time and it coulda been something disgusting. Like a frog or something. Then you'd scream and I'd chase you." he laughed.

"That stuff doesn't bother me anymore to be honest." after what she had been through a frog was nothing.

"Ah yes Zoey but I have a far bigger collection now. Much better stuff!"

Zoey looked at him. "Thanks Ry." she murmured. "For acting normal. For not making a fuss and making me feel like a freak."

He looked at her like she was stupid. "Me make a fuss of you? Are you for real? I just like bugging the hell out of you. You can always rely on me for that." he paused. "Plus Zoey you always were sorta freakish you know."

She nodded and gave her little half smile again. "Mum said your girlfriend needed some stuff. I picked out some stuff for her."

"Thanks. Her dad went akka. Mum and Amie are making statements with the police."

She exhaled. "I need to go down there tomorrow. Make statements. Look at pictures. They need to identify him. I just need it all to end."

"It's not easy." he sympathised. "Keep ya head up Zoey. Or I'll put a real snake in your bed, not the rubber one I put in last time."

Zoey shook her head and nudged his shoulder. "Can I swap you for EJ?"

"He wishes!"

She raised her eyebrows.

"C'mon who wouldn't wanna be me?" he grinned.

"Your alright Ry." she whispered.

"I'm better then alright." he answered cockily. "Your alright too. Or you will be." he added seriously.

Zoey looked across and saw her mum hugging her granddad. The love between them. The trust. She'd had that once with her dad. Now she'd probably never have another hug like that. She looked away quickly before the tears in her eyes were seen. Ryan was wrong. She wasn't alright and probably never would be again!

(X)

Danny and Lexi watched Zoey and Ryan. Zoey seemed to visibly relax before their eyes.

"She's calmer with him." Lexi murmured.

"He has that effect on people. He has his mum's knack for putting people at ease." Danny replied.

"She's been on edge since she came home. Can't blame her to be honest. Earlier on reporters were crawling around the house and ambushed her."

"For God's sake!" he hissed.

"Ethan threatened them and they disappeared. For now."

"How are you all? Ethan, EJ, Zoey you?"

Lexi exhaled. "Ethan is Ethan. His brain going 50 to the dozen trying to fix her with counselling. He's cracking up coz he thinks she has Stockholm syndrome."

Danny paled.

"You don't know the half of it dad. She went mad coz EJ bad mouthed him. She ran off. Luckily Ethan found her and brought her home but after that she seemed worse then before. More quiet. She wouldn't look at any of us. She sits in her room, no noise. Just eerie quietness which has me and Ethan on edge. She only picked at her tea. Said she would only eat at scheduled times of the day for the past year and it was too early." she rubbed her face. "EJ, he's just a walking talking ball of anger directed at anyone. And me dad?" she made an I dunno gesture with her hands. "I'm just trying to hold this family together. I'm not doing the best of jobs though. I wish mum was here she could help."

"Give it time Lex. You remember that time I got knocked over?"

"How could I forget?" she whispered.

"We were all going through the same sort of thing. You and Ethan hated each other and me. Your mother was angry at me and I was angry at your mother. Your mum had the same job then. Trying so hard to keep a family together that was seriously in danger of imploding. A year later you had a little brother and a little sister on the way. And you and Ethan were well…. It'll work itself out baby. Just give it time."

"But dad that was mum. Mum could do that. I'm not capable." she said defeated.

"You can do anything you set your mind to!" Danny assured and pulled her close for a one armed hug. Lexi wrapped her arms around him. Didn't notice her daughters face as she hugged her dad.

"Thanks dad. You always make me feel better." she murmured.

"It's my job." he answered and kissed the top of her head.

They heard a car pulling up.

They heard Missy's voice float through the house. "I'll see if Danny had called Ryan's sister Lexi to bring you some clothes then you can go in the shower and bed ok."

"Thanks Mrs….Missy." Leila replied. No doubt she had changed the name after a look from Miss.

Ryan got up and walked to the hallway. "Mum. Leila." his relief was palatable.

"I'm…."

"Don't say it Lei." He murmured. "My niece is here with clothes for you."

"Ok." she replied.

"Ryan. Bed!" Missy said sternly. "It's late. I should have your dad for keeping you up this late!"

"Sorry mum." she said contritely. "Night dad. Lex. Zoey." he walked over and hugged Zoey softly. "Remember head up."

"Thanks Ry." she whispered and even hugged him back. It had Lexi's eye brows raised.

"I'll just take this stuff to Leila if that's ok mum." Zoey asked.

Lexi nodded. "Go ahead."

"Do you need me to come straight back?"

This always perplexed Lexi. She wanted to give her a choice but didn't wanna stress her out. "She needs to go to bed and so do you. No longer than 15 minutes."

Zoey nodded and walked off.

"Hey dad." Amie said skipping in. "Lex." she added with a grin. "It's amazing news on Zoey." she walked over to her. "C'mon dad needs a minute." she winked. "We don't need to see that! I'll fill you in on supermiss and superme." raised her arm above her head and ran off.

Lexi looked at her dad and Miss.

Missy shrugged. "She's been that since a can of doctor pepper at the station. It was all they had."

"Doctor pepper makes her hyper." Danny told Lexi.

"And your inflicting that on me?" she asked with a playful groan.

"Alexis Mariee Ree." Amie called

"Ree Ree Ames? I'll kick your ass." Lexi said walking towards her.

Amie cackled in reply.

"Zoey I'm in the kitchen." she called.

"Kay mum." came a muffled reply.

(X)

Danny walked over and hugged Miss tightly. "I wish you wouldn't run off like that. The first I knew you had gone was when Ryan was going mental in his room."

"How's he been?" she asked.

"Worried sick."

"He had a right to be worried. I'm glad I ran off. I'm not sure but Leila's dad was about to either A give her a really bad beating or B I'll let you figure that out yourself."

Danny's eyes widened.

"I disturbed him thank God." Missy added.

"Poor girl." he murmured.

"Apparently her mum left a year ago. For the first 6 months her dad ignored her. Then her body began to change. Puberty set in. He seemed to be angry at her for some reason. For the next 6 months he hit and belittled her. She confided in Ryan. Seems he could have been going to the next level tonight. They shot him and I hope the bastard rots!" she hissed.

Danny just carried on hugging Missy tight.

"It was awful Danny, I looked at her face and saw my own at 11. So scared but resigned. Like she knew she couldn't stop it. He was freaking huge Danny, as tall as you and really beefy. Nearly knocked me clean out a few times. And through a few walls!"

"You should have found me! I would have went." he fumed.

"First reason I didn't have the time. Second reason you think far too much. I just run straight in there."

"Yeah you don't think of the consequences! He could have killed you." he said angrily releasing her.

"That is preferable to what he was gonna do to her. Remember I know what that's like and if falling down some stairs meant she didn't have to go through that then I'm ok with that!"

"Well I'm not!" he crossed his arms.

"I don't appreciate your anger Danny. I'm going to bed!" stormed from the living room into her room. Resisted the urge to slam the door.

**A/N what happened here greatly affects later chapters keep reading x**


	59. Back?

Lexi and Amie appeared a few minutes later. They wore matching expressions and their arms were crossed.

"What'd you say to her?" they chorused.

"She doesn't think of the consequences of her actions."

"Maybe she does dad!" Amie said.

"Obviously not she was pulled down some stairs!"

"I knew I shouldn't have told you." Amie muttered.

"Mum I'm ready to go home." Zoey said appearing in the doorway. "If you are." she added quickly.

Lexi nodded. "Listen to Amie dad. She knows what she's talking about. Thanks Ames."

"No bother Lex."

Zoey and Lexi soon disappeared from the house and into the night.

"Right lessons on Missy." Amie began. "Number one, don't criticise her after she's done this good thing!"

"Amie don't talk to me like I'm stupid!" Danny warned.

"You are stupid."

"You shouldn't talk to me like this. I'm your father!" he told her.

"It's your fault. You brought us up to speak our minds."

He exhaled. "She could have died. How many times do I have to go through this stuff with her? You and her run into situations without thinking of the risks. I mean Christ you're gonna be the end of me! Your both reckless and take chances you don't have to take. The first ones to jump in the middle of a fight. You both don't seem to understand that you might get hurt! That one day you'll go too far and kill yourselves!"

"That is who we are dad. We aren't any different now then before. That is the Melissa you fell in love with! Why change her?"

"All I want is for both of you to be careful! But no. I find out she got herself pulled down some stairs. She doesn't care!"

"Right dad listen. You see Ryan on a bridge. It's gonna fall down. No doubt about it. Do you let if fall with your son or do you run on and try and help him?"

"You don't even need to ask that Amie. I'd help him he's my son!" he said without hesitation.

"But you could die!" Amie retorted.

"So could he!"

"So your not thinking about the consequences to yourself. Your thinking of the possible consequences to others, in this case Ryan." Amie said smugly.

Danny froze and Amie grinned at her victory.

"You really need to stop and think sometimes dad." Amie told him.

"How do you understand he so well?" Danny asked.

"I'm a lot like her." Amie shrugged. "You both mean a lot to me. I don't like you arguing over daft stuff. Frivolous stuff!"

He nodded. "It's a good thing I'm a dad who listens to my kids." he shook his head. "Your all too outspoken at times."

"Hey I just helped you! Go make up with your wife." she smiled.

"Thank you Amie."

"Someone round here should be happy!" she muttered.

"Ames?"

"It's nothing dad. I just found out Rob isn't who I thought he was and I wrecked my friendship with Tom."

"How? You were always so close."

Amie exhaled and thought. "Dad, did you fall in love with miss coz of your common connection to mum?"

Danny made a confused face. "I knew Miss coz of your mum. Probably wouldn't have met her any otherwise. But I can't say I love her coz of your mum. So no. Why?"

"Tom said he loved me." Amie said.

Danny's eyes bugged.

"My reaction completely! I told him he was mixed up because of Borneo!" she wasn't telling her dad about the other stuff. Talk about therapy time!

"Amie that was harsh!" he winced.

"Well we shared a common trauma. Sort of like you and Miss when you lost mum. You supported her and she supported you. I saved his life. Gratitude and love you know."

"Gratitude and love are two very different things. I've felt grateful to a lot of people on my life. Doesn't mean you love them."

"I'm only 21 dad." she whispered.

"I was engaged and a father when I was your age."

Amie made a face.

"I wasn't suggesting it." he said with a smile.

"How do you feel about Tom?"

She shrugged. "I've never been in love before. I've got too much to do without being in love. Love just complicates stuff. I've got so much to lose if I do love him!"

"That stuff doesn't get taken into account when it comes to matters of the heart."

Amie exhaled. "I've lost him anyway. He said he doesn't wanna see me again."

"And?" he coaxed.

"It really hurts dad." she whispered.

"You know what that means." he stated.

She nodded. "It goes away thought?"

"Depends. If it's deep and strong then you'll learn to live with it. Ignore it to an extent but it'll always be there. Sort of like with me and Miss."

Amie's face changed to confusion.

"I first met Miss on mine and your mothers wedding day. God your mother was gorgeous." he breathed remembering Alice in her white dress. It brought out her blue eyes beautifully. Her smile huge. He had to remind himself to breath. "That was over 30 years ago. We had chemistry even then. She only ever saw me as her best friends husband and I saw her as your mothers best friend. It wasn't til after your mum died that we realised that our feelings were much deeper and we'd be halfway in love all along."

Amie looked like she was in pain. "So you and Miss…..all that time?"

He nodded.

"That makes me feel a whole lot better!" she said sarcastically.

"Look I'm treading on thin ice here and I'm not saying this for the reasons you might think but why not call him? Go out a few times?"

"Coz he's my superior dad. There's a no fraternisation rule." which she had already smashed! "I love my job."

"So what's worth more to you? Tom or your job?"

"There is a whole world of men out there." she answered. "I wouldn't have to chose for them!"

"Amie…." Danny said softly.

"Sorry dad I didn't mean the men comment the way it sounded."

"Good." he breathed.

"I'll sort this dad. You go and make up with your wife." she suggested.

"I can…."

"This is something I need to sort myself. I'm back at work in 2 days time."

Danny made a face.

"You worry too much dad. I'm good at what I do." she assured.

"I know but you're my baby." he murmured and touched her face softly. "It still amazes me how much your like your mum. Blows me away sometimes."

"I'll let the baby comment go and at least mum lives on in me huh?"

He nodded smiling. "She'd be so proud of you."

"I know." Amie looked at her dad for a moment. "Anyway, Daniel?"

"He is away to Newcastle for a few days. Someone talked him into it."

Amie grinned. "I'm a regular agony aunt. You and Miss. Daniel and Amy. Lex and Ethan. Too bad I'm not that good at fixing my life huh?"

"You'll get there. You're a Trevanion. We're all fighters."

"What if 'there' is the wrong place and I lose the job I love?" she whispered.

Danny hugged her. Sleep on it. Try not to stress. When your not thinking about it the answer will come to you."

She exhaled.

"Love isn't easy baby. But nothing worth anything is easy - makes it worth it at the end."

Amie looked at him. "You sound like a Chinese cracker. Beyond the bend anew horizon awaits."

"Daddy knows best" he chided.

"You'd better be getting back to your wife. And remember be understanding! Goodnight dad."

Amie then walked off into her room

(X)

Danny walked into the room he shared with Missy. He saw her clothes neatly folded and put in the washing basket. She lay in bed with her pink shorts and spaghetti strap pyjama top on she was rested on her side with her back to him. She wasn't covered it was a humid night.

"Miss you awake?" he asked.

Slow even breathing was his reply…..but she was awake. He knew her well enough to know that.

"Well since your asleep." he started unbuttoning his shirt. "You won't want to know that I'm sorry."

He saw her shoulders twitch in curiosity. They moved slightly, like she was surprised.

"You did weigh up the consequences just not to yourself huh?" he mused.

Missy still didn't reply.

"Anyway I decided you did it for a good enough reason."

He saw her shoulders freeze up. She sat up slowly.

"You what?" she asked in disbelief finally speaking.

"I decided you did it for a good enough reason."

"Decided? Danny you don't make decisions in my life!" she told him.

"Miss I don't wanna argue." he told her.

"Of course you don't - if I was in the wrong you would!"

"Hey! I'm not the one in the wrong, I didn't get pulled down stairs!" his voice raised slightly.

Missy stood up. Grabbed her pillow. "We have a traumatised young girl in the spare room. She doesn't need to hear us acting like 5 year olds!"

She walked from their room into the living room.

(X)

Missy lay on the sofa. Danny had came in once but she had told him to leave her alone. He said fine he wouldn't speak to her till morning. Hoepfully she'd be in a better mood! He'd spat. She turned over, God she was buying a new sofa tomorrow. Lumpy didn't even begin to cover it. She lay in the darkness when something changed. The air was different. She moved so she lay on her back. All was quiet. The blanket ruffled when she moved was the only noise.

'_MISS!'_ she heard Alice's voice in her head a second later a huge hand was clamped over her mouth and she felt the pillow yanked from under her head. A second later it was over her face pressed down hard.

**A/N how on earth is she gonna get out of this?**


	60. Pushed

Missy felt the pillow pressed own on her face. The hands holding it were unyielding. She tried to fight but her legs were tangled in the blanket. She felt blackness starting to descend. Felt the fight slowing leaving her body. Her hand moved so it hung uselessly by the sofa.

The pillow was moved for a second and she sucked in a lungful of air.

"You don't involve yourself in private family matters!" the man hissed.

She was dragging in air filling her oxygen starved body. He raised the pillow again so she rolled onto the floor. The blanket fell to the floor, she wasn't tangled anymore. She inhaled deeply to yell for Danny but Leila's dad moved and had his arm around her neck cutting off her yelp.

"Your gonna tell me where my daughter is!" he warned.

Missy wrinkled her nose. He smelled like a brewery. He was drunk! He'd been shot. He was supposed to be in police custody. How on earth did he even know Leila was here?

"She isn't here." Missy croaked.

Leila's dad yanked her roughly. "Don't lie to me woman. I heard the police talking outside my room. Said Leila us safe on a game reserve in the middle of nowhere."

Fucking idiots! Missy thought. "Not this one." she squeaked. "There are countless reserves all over Africa."

"It's no co-incidence that her boyfriends parents own one!" he shook his head.

She had to find a way to alert the rest of the house to his presence. Saw the lamp near to the sofa.

"My daughter!" he hissed.

"Is safe!" she spat. "From you!"

He tightened his hold.

Ok Miss cut back the smart mouth. He doesn't like it. She had to find a way so he'd release her a little. She had a idea.

"I'll take you to her." she squeaked.

"That's a good girl. You understand that I'll have to keep you like this till I see her." he whispered into her hair.

"Bastard!" she seethed.

He tightened even more and black spots appeared in front of her eyes he felt her sway and loosened his grip. Again she gulped in oxygen.

"Next time I'll let you pass out and look through the rooms. I don't want to alert your husband or son. I'd hate to have to hurt them. Do you hear me?" he asked evilly.

O she so heard his veiled threat. No one threatened Ryan and lived to tell the tale. She nodded and cocked her head. "This way."

"Word of warning. You take me to your husbands room I'll break your neck in front of him. Then I'll kill him and your boy for good measure."

She nodded. More threats against her son. Not good. He was gonna get it!

He guided her around the sofa. As they walked she pretended to stumble. Reached and pushed the lamp onto the floor. It smashed as it hit the floor.

"You fucking bitch!" he roared. Squeezed so tight she couldn't breath. Then he tossed her across the room. Her back hit the wall ad she fell forward landing on her hands and knees. Saw the light come on in Ryan's room.

"No!" she whispered. Danny's room was down the hall. Missy got up.

Ryan's door opened. "What….MUM?" he yelped.

Leila's dad saw Ryan and smirked. Put his hand in his pocket. Missy ran and launched onto his back wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Get Leila Ry. Go to Lexi's!" Missy yelled to Ryan.

"I'll get you for this!" Leila's dad vowed. Shaking her from side to side.

Missy applied more pressure. "No one threatens my boy!" she hissed.

"MUM!" Ryan yelled and took a step forward.

Danny appeared and saw Missy flipped onto her back. The air whooshed from her body. He stomped on her chest. her back lifted off the floor he hit her so hard.

"Ry get Leila and do as your mum said. NOW!" Danny told him urgently.

Ryan nodded and ran into Leila's room. As soon as Danny knew the kids were out of the house he was about to pounce when Leila's dad looked at him and aimed a gun straight at Missy's head. She lay on her side holding her ribs which he had stomped on repeatedly.

"I'm done playing games!" he seethed. "Give me what's mine and I'll go!"

"Fuck you bastard!" Missy spat.

"Melissa!" Danny yelped.

Leila's dad stomped on her stomach again. She exhaled in pain.

"Tell me!" he repeated, cocked the gun with a loud click.

"If you think pointing a gun at me will make me tell you then your DEAD wrong!" Missy seethed.

"She's in my daughter Amie's room" Danny said loudly. Terrified that Missy was gonna end up goading him into shooting her.

Missy's eyes widened. "Danny NO!" She screamed.

Leila's dad picked Missy up by the hair. She winced.

"Your not getting anywhere near her!" Missy fought.

"See this gun? It has a bullet with your name on it!" he warned.

"Miss!" Danny pleaded.

"He'll hurt her!" Missy screamed at him.

"Shut up! I'm getting my daughter. You over there." he motioned to Danny.

Danny moved and Missy fought.

"I swear I hate you for this Danny! How could you!" Missy yelled. "If he hurts her….."

Leila's dad pistol whipped the back of Missy's head. She groaned.

Danny winced.

"Which one is Amie's. I don't trust her." Leila's dad asked Danny.

"Beside the one my son came out of."

"He's lying!" Missy yelped.

"No I'm not!" Danny replied.

"Yes you freaking are! Missy screamed at Danny.

"I believe him." Leila's dad said.

Missy inhaled deeply.

"You warn her I shoot Leila, you then myself." he told Missy.

"AMIE!" Missy yelled uncaring about his threat. "GET OUT OF YOUR ROOM!"

Missy was dragged forcefully towards the closed door. He opened it pushed her inside and slammed the door. Danny then heard a thud. Scuffling and then a gun shot.

(X)

Danny's heart stopped. Ran into the room. Missy lay beside the wardrobe clutching her head tightly.

"Dad, help!" Amie said straining against the man fighting beneath her.

He went over and helped Amie restrain Leila's dad.

"Who was shot?" he asked.

"It went wild." Amie breathed.

Missy had finally moved. Grabbed Amie's phone and called the police. She then got up and walked from the room. Returned with 2 pieces of rope. Handed it to Amie.

"Word of warning!" Amie told Leila's dad. "These knots will only tighten if you pull them. Meaning circulation will cease if they are too tight. In other words you'll lose your hands and your feet!"

She tied him up swiftly. Missy was sat glaring at Danny from across the room.

Ethan came running into the house.

"Danny!" he yelled.

"In here Ethan. Crisis averted."

He appeared at the door and looked at Danny. "Ryan said…." then he saw the man on the floor. The police arrived a second later.

"We had an APB out. We should have alerted you but didn't want to worry you. We had no idea he knew she was here."

"Leila is safe." Danny told the officer.

Missy was up and was leading Amie into the kitchen. He didn't see Amie clutching her arm. Missy shot him a deadly look as she passed. He gave a run down of events to the officer.

(X)

"Ames you should have got the hell out of there when I yelled." Missy told her.

"Me and dad planned it. Why do you think it took so long to get to you?"

"Still no excuse. Gimmie a look at your arm." Missy coaxed.

"Looks worse then it actually is Miss." then removed her hand.

Missy winced.

She dabbed the wound with some antiseptic.

"Freaking hell Miss!" Amie hissed.

"Sting?" Missy asked smiling.

"What's on your mind Miss?" Amie asked.

"Your dad infuriates me. Sometimes I feel like I can't live with him…or without him."

"Being in love is a pain in the ass huh?" Amie sympathised.

Missy looked at her and smiled widely. "So Tom huh?" Missy asked excitedly.

Amie frowned. "Huh?"

"I picked up on some….tension."

Amie exhaled. "What would you do Miss. Job or love?"

"What your dad or my business. Your dad without a doubt. If you have to think about it maybe it isn't meant to be."

"My heart is screaming at me to chose Tom but I love my job too. I'm not ready to be a wife. A mother eventually. Christ that scares the hell out of me!"

Missy smiled. "You'll be fine. Trust me. I know everything."

(X)

Danny approached the kitchen looked at Amie and Missy. Heads close talking. They looked like mother and daughter. They looked nothing at all alike, Missy with her curly blond hair and brown eyes. Amie with her straight jet back hair and clear blue eyes but the sentiment was the same and the feeling was definitely there.

Missy was dabbing her arm gently and smiling at her. As he got closer he was Amie was bleeding. She said the bullet went wild! Had his baby been shot? He hurried towards her.

"Calm down dad before you have heart failure. I wasn't shot the bullet grazed me. Stings like a bitch though." made a face. "One of the guys says that all the time and I've picked up on it." she said in disgust.

Missy stuck a bandage on the wound. "All done."

Amie smiled. "Thanks Miss. Okies. I'm going back to dreamland." wiggled her eyebrows.

Missy chucked and Danny made a disgusted face.

"I may need more doctor pepper." Laughed.

Danny exhaled. "She is her mothers daughter!"

"Her fathers too." Missy added.

"Miss."

"NO Danny, I asked you not to do something."

"Me and Amie had it planned." he told her.

"He could have killed her!" she hissed.

"He could have killed you!" he stressed.

"Me or her? No contest Danny!"

He exhaled angrily. "You'd love that wouldn't you?"

"What the hell do you mean by that?" she asked incredulous.

"You couldn't save Alice." he told her. "I know that bothers you. Saving Amie is the next best thing!"

"That's bullshit Danny." her eyes black. "I'm going to bed. We're both tired and saying things we don't mean." she said.

Danny didn't know why but he had the biggest urge to provoke her. "Who said I didn't mean it?"

Missy continued walking away from him. She didn't want to talk to him. Didn't understand why he was being this way.

"Don't walk away from me Melissa!" he told her.

"Leave me alone Danny. I have a pounding headache and your in a funny mood tonight."

He exhaled and followed her. "Why do you take unnecessary risks Miss?"

She ignored him. Walked into their room and lay down. Sighed when he head hit the pillow. Yawned.

All was silent for 5 minutes. Missy opened one eye and saw danny stood opposite her looking intently.

"Danny I'm tired." she groaned.

"I'm not! See I had the life scared out of me when I saw a man with a gun pointed at your head and you provoke him to shoot you! It's beyond stupid Miss. It's insane! One day it's gonna backfire and you'll get killed."

She exhaled and ignored him. Closed her eyes once more.

"I'm not gonna let this lie." he warned.

"Have a nice night then." she told him and turned over.

"Did you want him to hurt you?" Danny asked.

She stayed quiet.

"Did you want to leave your family?"

Again silence.

"People need you here! Being reckless with your life is no good Miss!" he seethed.

She shot up in bed. She had had enough! "Just shut up Danny. Like you said it's MY life to be reckless with. God you sent a mad man with a gun into your daughters room!" she spat.

"She's trained to deal with people like that!"

"Yeah well he saw her. He nearly shot her point blank in the head. If I had pushed his arm then I'd be up on a murder charge coz I swear I would have killed him. Then you for sending him in there so don't dare talk to me about being reckless ok!"

She got up stomped into the kitchen. Took two tablets. Sat at the kitchen table. Yawned massively. Thankfully Danny got the message and stayed away. God she had been harsh there. She always said stuff she didn't mean when she was angry. Add tired to it and she simply let rip! She rested her head on her arms unwilling to go back in their room for another argument. She let her eyes drift closed.

**A/N miss is fine...but how will danny react to her words in the morning?**


	61. Gone

Missy's world was a swirl of colours and frozen images. Amie was blood red. Intense and vivacious. Danny was a cold blue. Zoey a dark bleak black. Ryan a vibrant yellow. Lexi and Ethan were a subdued purple. EJ was a moody green. They all swirled around her so fast. Alice appeared and held out her hand. She was a sparkling white. So bright she was almost blinding.

'_Grab my hand Miss.' _Alice called.

She was being churned up in the vortex of colours. They all seemed to be seeping into her and she was turning from her own bubbly orange to a drab brown. She felt the weight of all the colours beginning to press down on her. They were permeating her soul and she didn't have long left.

'_Don't let this break you Miss! Fight it!' _Alice yelled at her.

Why were they doing this to her?

'_This will break you and Danny. Split you for good!" _Alice pleaded.

"Alice." she murmured. Then other things that were incoherent.

"Missy!" an urgent voice said.

She was lost under all the colours. They were suffocating her.

"Missy!" The voice yelled. "Open you eyes if you can hear me." Lexi shouted shaking her.

She was jerked back to reality. "Not so loud Lex. Head." Missy pleaded and opened one eye. "Time is it?"

"God Miss!" Lexi said her hand over her heart. "Ryan told me he saw you being flung around the room. Said you hit your head a few times. I thought….." she exhaled. Checked her watch. "It's 9am."

"Lex you always think the worst. But I'm grateful for your concern. You don't have to worry about me." she stretched and rubbed her eyes. And no more tablets before bed for her. They always sent her loopy! She yawned widely. "9am? Late for me."

"Did you sleep here all night Miss?"

Missy rubbed her neck and ignored her question.

Lexi realised she wasn't getting an answer so started with her next question.

"Where's dad?"

Missy frowned. "He isn't here?"

Lexi shook her head.

"Must be down in the surgery. Daniel is at Newcastle with Amy." Missy told her an explanation.

"Probably."

"Ryan and Leila are in the living room. I kept them off school just in case."

"How was Zoey's first night at home?"

She thrashed about in her bed all night. She didn't get any sleep. We heard her pacing at 3 am this morning. Popped in at 5 and she had moved her stuff so her wardrobe blocked her window and she had placed stuff in front of the door to alert her to intruders. She had a lamp on beside her. She was sat up in the corner of her room on the floor curled up tightly. She didn't run away so it's a start. Ethan has taken her to the police station."

"She has you and Ethan. She'll get there." Missy said sensing Lexi needed reassurance.

"I wish I had your optimism Miss. Look can you hang around my place when they get back. See I've got to work and she isn't very comfortable being alone with men."

"Ethan is her dad though."

"We know. She just goes all quiet and backs off really slowly. It kills Ethan."

"I'm always here Lex. You don't even have to ask."

"Thanks Miss." Lexi said.

"So what happened with Leila last night?"

Missy grabbed a glass of orange juice. Needed the vitamins to perk her up. "Her dad showed up. "

Lexi's eyes widened. "What happened?"

Amie suddenly burst from her room singing. "Oh what a beautiful morning! Oh what a beautiful day."

"It is so not fair that you are this chipper first thing on a morning!" Missy grumbled. As Amie danced about behind her.

"Did Miss get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?" ruffled her hair.

"She's had more doctor pepper hasn't she?" Lexi asked.

"And you my darling sister!" smacked her lips on her cheek. "I have a doctor pepper IV." Winked.

"Eew Ames!" Lexi rubbed her face.

Amie stuck out her tongue out at them. Grabbed a bowl with cereal.

"Carry on talking I shall listen intently." Amie said playfully poured her milk seriously.

"Well to pick up where we left off Lex. He took me hostage and to make sure I was safe he sent him to Amie's room."

Amie did karate moves in the air. "And I kicked ass! You don'taaaa messa with meeee!" she said hands waving all about in a high pitched voice.

"You sorted him then?" Lexi asked.

Amie smiled cockily and nodded. "What can I say. It's me."

"He shot at her luckily it only grazed her arm." Missy added.

"Poor dad." Lexi mused.

Missy's eyebrows raised. "Your dad sent him in there Lex!"

"What he must have gone through though." Lexi told her.

"I'd have rather been shot!" Missy said dryly.

"Dad doesn't think like that though Miss." Lexi told her.

"She's right Miss." Amie agreed spooning cereal in her mouth.

"He'd have weighed up the risks." Lexi added.

"Rather than acting on instinct like we do." Amie said with a smile. "I must say though running in there and kicking ass...much better."

Lexi rolled her eyes. "He probably thought that Amie could handle it."

"Which I did. Superbly well!" Amie grinned.

"Is this like a tag team or something?" Missy asked looking between them.

Amie's face turned mock serious. "Me and Lexi have decided after much deliberation that since we are sisters, rather then fight each other we are going to fight other things. Like evil and injustice." she said in a deep voice. "And when you and dad are being stupid! She held her hand up. Lexi tagged her.

"Go for it Lex." Amie said.

"What are you on?" Lexi asked.

"I just woke up like this. Personally I like it! More more." she chirped.

"God you remind me of Miss." Lexi muttered.

"I am not like that!" Missy declared. "Am I?" she asked.

Both woman nodded.

"Christ Alice and Shauna put up with that why?"

"Loadsa you've been framed moments. Money. And of course the funny moment's. Falling down or up." Amie said. "Right I am done." skipped over to the sink and placed her bowl in there. "There is so little time and so much to do. Byeeeeeeee."

As Amie walked away Missy talked. "Am I seriously like that?"

"Worse." Lexi said seriously.

"Shoot me!" she pleaded.

Lexi smiled. "Seriously Miss dad would have thought that Amie is trained to take him out while you were helpless. He loves you Miss."

Missy made a face. "I'd better be getting to work. I have a lot to do. I'm having a creative collapse and I have designs to look over." Missy explained.

"Creative collapse?" Lexi questioned.

"Ever since my heart attack anything I do just isn't good enough. My muse is hiding from me and I swear when I find it I'm gonna strangle it for abandoning me like this! Usually I just know and I'm second guessing myself. A creative collapse, this one off the Richter scale!" she elaborated.

"You're the best at what you do Miss."

"I don't think so. I'm actually considering retirement."

Lexi's eyes widened. "NO WAY!"

"If I've lost it Lex, I've lost it."

"Whoa the world has gone crazy!" Lexi muttered.

"How about I go get your dad for you?" Missy asked.

Lexi shook her head. "I'll ring him."

"See you later then Lex. Ring Ethan, tell him to text me when he gets home and I'll go over to your house."

Lexi smiled. "You're the best Miss."

"I've known that for years!" Missy said in jest.

(X)

Missy was sat with her blueprints in front of her. Scribbled a black line across it. God she was just gonna hand over these contracts to the juniors in her company. At this rate she was gonna ruin herself!

"You ok Melissa?" Leila asked.

Missy looked up and smiled. "I'm good."

"You design houses right?" Leila asked.

"Yeah. Not very well at the moment."

Leila walked over.

"I like that one." she nodded. "Except you could jiggle that stuff over that and change the material on that chair. It looks abit dated for the contemporary feel of the room."

Missy cocked her head to the side. "Your right." she looked at Leila eye's wide.

Leila beamed.

Missy decided to check something.

If I give you a list of stuff would you just tell me where you'd put it?"

Leila shrugged. "I'm just hanging around waiting for the social to show up."

"Hopefully Danny's fostering paperwork from England will come through over here and we'll try and foster you."

She nodded.

Missy wrote down a load of random pieces and drew the outline of a room.

Leila took the paper and sat across the room. She chewed the end of her pencil deep in thought.

Missy smiled and got back to work. 5 minutes later Leila got up.

Missy looked at the work. "Have you read any books?"

Leila shook her head.

"I watch some of the shows."

"Your really good. The room was flawless." This was exactly the same as Missy designed it a few years ago. "If you keep this up you could own your own company. If you apply yourself."

Leila shook her head. "I enjoy it. I wouldn't if it was a job. Plus I'm 13."

"Yeah that's what amazes me." Missy breathed.

They heard a knock.

"I guess I gotta….." Leila began.

"Keep your head up. We'll get you back. Danny's solicitors are faxing over the stuff we need. We all have clean CRB's. You could be back here tonight!"

Leila smiled. "I hope so."

Leila and Missy went to the door.

"C'mon Leila. Time to go." the socail worker said.

Missy blocked Leila's exit. "I don't believe you showed me any identification!"

The social worker smiled and pulled it out. Walked down the stairs with Leila.

"You like it here?" she asked Leila.

Leila nodded. "It's good. Miss and Danny take care of me. I've only been here one night but I feel safer here then I ever did at my dad's."

"What about the son?" the social worker asked.

"Excuse me?" Missy asked. "I don't like your insinuations. My son is not…..some crazy person. He's a good kid!"

The social worker smiled.

"Missy is right. Ryan is my best friend. He sticks up for me at school."

The worker nodded.

"Is your husband around?" the social worker asked.

"I thought you were just picking her up."

"I'm actually here to perform a home visit. I liked how you asked me for ID and how your very passionate about protecting children. Join that to the fact that you saved her I think it'll be ok for her to stay in your care for the next few weeks. I just need to speak to your husband."

"I'll just call him!"

Missy rang his phone. It went straight to voicemail. She frowned.

"My husband is a vet. He is away at the moment."

The worker frowned.

"It doesn't happen often. He won't let an animal die in pain."

The worker nodded. "I'll come back tomorrow. If he isn't here then I'm afraid I'll have to take her with me."

Missy nodded. As the worker drove away she rang Danny. "Get back here now!" she hissed into the phone.

(X)

Night had fallen. No one had heard or seen Danny all day. Missy sat and stared at her phone. She felt sick.

"C'mon Danny!" she whispered.

No word.

"Mum where's dad?" Ryan asked.

"He's fine Ryan." she assured.

"But…."

"He's fine Ryan!" she stressed.

She paced back and forwards.

Amie walked in. Shook her head. She too was pale her face worried. She had checked the bush around the house. Lexi had checked the hospitals. Ethan had been in touch with the police.

"Just go to bed Ry. He'll ring when he can. No doubt his battery has died. You know how forgetful your dad is."

He nodded.

Missy was beside her self. Left yet another message on Danny's phone. Went in her room. Was on her knees by the side of the bed. Looked at a picture of her and Danny. Bowed her head.

"Alice, I have never asked you for much. And I probably don't even have to say it. But take care of him for me please."

**A/N ok so danny has disappeared hmmmm...**


	62. Colours

3 days had passed. Missy was ill. No sign of Danny was anywhere. She had barely ate or slept.

"Miss I brought you a sandwich." Lexi said.

Missy nodded. It was placed beside the coffee she hadn't touched.

"He'll be fine."

"He hasn't rung Lex. I must have left a million messages on his phone. He wouldn't torture me like this. He is badly hurt somewhere I know it. God he's probably de….." he voice cracked and broke. "And the last thing we done was argue." tears spilled.

"C'mere Miss." Lexi pulled her close. Missy swallowed the tears.

"I'm ok Lex. I have to go and greet the locum. The animals need someone and Daniel is still at Newcastle."

Lexi nodded.

Missy walked down to the surgery. Saw a man looking around.

"Hello, I'm Ben Parker."

Missy smiled. "Missy Trevanion. Don't ask me what needs done. I try not to come in here if I can help it."

"Your like that huh?"

She nodded. "But we need a vet urgently so here I am to greet you."

He nodded.

"I've been feeding the animals. And dispensing the medication to them on this chart. Thanks fully none of it needs injected." Missy said.

Ben smiled. "You did a great job by yourself."

"Needs must…" she trailed off and wobbled.

"You ok?"

"Yeah." she said. "I skipped breakfast." and tea last night. Actually when was the last time she ate a proper meal?

"You shouldn't. It's the most important meal of the day."

"Yeah. It's said." she wobbled again. "Could you help me to the chair?"

He took her arm.

(X)

Danny walked onto Leopards Den. He had spent a few days at Glasgow with Shauna and James. Somehow he had convinced Shauna not to tell Missy where he was. He just needed to get away and clear his head. Especially after some of the stuff they had said to each other. He came to the conclusion that he loved her and was willing to do anything to make this work. He had missed her so much he could hardly breath. Walked down to his surgery. Was about to walk in when he saw a man with his hands all over….Missy! He felt rage fill him. Whoever was touching his wife was gonna lose his freaking head! He stormed in. Grabbed the man and threw him back towards the wall.

"What the hell….."

Meanwhile Missy without the support slid to floor. Rested her arm on her head.

"Miss?" Danny asked going down on his knees beside her. He rolled her.

"Danny?" she asked. "Am I delirious? Where's Ben?"

"I'm here Miss." Danny assured.

Her cheeks went red. She tried to sit up. "Where the hell you been?" she wobbled.

"I don't appreciate being manhandled like that!" Ben hissed.

"Well go then!" Danny spat.

Ben shook his head and walked out.

"Miss you ok honey."

She batted his hands away. "Don't honey me. Do you know what I went through? I was so worried. I thought you were dead. You didn't make a call. Luckily the social worker hasn't been back to pick up Leila coz you weren't here to sign paperwork!"

"I faxed the paperwork she needed."

"You faxed her but could text me. Email me call me! Do you realise you have had me and all your kids scared to death!"

"C'mon we'll get you to the house. Get you something to eat."

"I want you to get away from me!" she said firmly. Pushed him away.

"Look Miss it didn't occur to me that you might worry." he said. Put his hand on her arm.

She breathed out a humourless laugh. "Believe it or not Danny I actually love you. Having no idea where you were almost killed me." she yanked her arm away from his hand. "You best go see your kids. They've been worried too."

Danny looked at her, his green eyes troubled.

"Um actually one thing, where have you been?" Missy questioned.

"Glasgow. At Shauna's and James'"

Missy frowned, her face turned hard. "And she didn't tell me? She knew how worried I was about you!" she hissed.

"I swore her to secrecy. James backed me up!" he countered.

"I'm her BEST friend. Vows made to other people don't come into it! Her first loyalty, apart from James and her kids should be to me!"

"Miss I….."

"Thank you so much for coming between me and Shauna as well!" she fumed.

"But you and Shauna are fine."

No we aren't!" she yelled and walked from the surgery.

(X)

Missy lay in bed. Danny was with the kids. She had ate a light meal and her wobbliness had left. She really should have taken better care of herself. She had thought something had happened to him though. She would have swore that he would never do anything like to her. She hadn't spoke to Shauna yet. Had sent her a text thanking her for her betrayal though. Shauna had then rang a few times but Missy didn't pick up. She was tired and needed time to sleep and process. Hopefully when she woke up she'd see this in a different light. Unfortunately she was too wired to sleep. A couple of days living off caffeine can do that to a person. She turned over and noticed Danny's pillow across the room. She had thrown it there. Didn't want anything of his next to her. The fact that he done that to her really cut her deep. God she was shattered. Right she was turning off. She blanked her mind and closed her eyes. Went to her place in the clouds.

Danny walked into his and Missy's room. Determined to get her to talk to him. This was gonna obliterate them and he didn't want that to happen. These past years had been perfect and he wanted to get back to that. Everything was finally beginning to settle down again. Amie was happy, Zoey was home. People were settled. He noticed Missy was asleep on the bed as soon as he walked in. She was frowning. It was a worried frown. She was so still, her chest moving so slightly he had to look closely to check. Before all this rubbish he would have lain beside her and kissed her frown till it went away. Who knew if she'd accept that from him anymore. His place used to be by her side. He didn't know if she had the room there anymore to be honest.

(X)

Missy didn't know when her imaginings turned into a dream, but they did. One minute she was lain on her cloud relaxing and the next she was dropped into the room with her family again. There was no pause this time. As soon as she was in the room the people started spinning and the vortex began swirling again.

"Christ not this again!" she yelled.

"Fine if that is the way you want it!" all the voices chorused.

The vortex slowed down slowly until it came to a complete stop. The people stood there looking dizzy. Everything began to shake suddenly. Missy fell all over she looked at her family and saw they were frozen. Completely unmoving. She noticed they were getting …..paler. Looked at their feet and saw the colour that once resided inside them was slowly leaking leaving a bright puddle Amie's colour went first. Once a bright and startling red, she turned a boring grey. Then she began changing again. She began to shine. The same colour as her mother. Blinding white. Alice was dead…Amie hit the floor.

"Amie!" she called.

"Right here Miss." A voice came from behind her.

Missy looked and saw mother and daughter side by side. Alice's face accusing.

"No Amie!" she wailed.

Without warning Ryan appeared by Amie's side.

Missy whipped around and saw her son's essence on the floor by his prone body. She ran to his still form. "No baby." she cried tears falling down her face.

One by one all the family left her. They all stood in a line beside Alice. Missy was alone….and nearly hysterical.

"There are no second chances when you are gone." they all said in unison. "Take care with what you think and do."

"Why did this happen?" Missy said. Tears falling. "To teach me a lesson?"

"You can't control destiny. Not even your own. What will happen will happen."

"I don't believe that! That my whole family is meant to die. I will NEVER let that happen!" she screamed.

"Next time you run into a situation it WILL be your last!" Danny told her. He was gleaming and bright. Stood by Alice's side.

"I'm not talking about what happens to me I'm talking about taking my family away. I don't care abut me!"

After she spat that statement a loud click resounded through the air. She looked around.

"Meaning you don't care enough about them to take care of yourself?" an angry voice yelled. Her fathers voice.

She saw the colours suddenly returning to her family. They were ok.

"Thank God!" she breathed.

"Not yet Miss!" Lexi said voice wobbling.

"Why were you reckless mum?" Ryan asked his eyes bright.

"How could you leave us Miss?" Danny whispered a single tear sliding down his face.

Missy looked down and saw herself lying on the floor. Her orange colour gone she was yanked backwards. With more force then she had ever felt before. She was torn away from her family when they still needed her. She was never going to see them again.

(X)

Missy woke up sharply the next second. She was breathing heavily and was soaked with sweat put her hand on her pounding head. Danny walked towards her. She closed her eyes and groaned.

"You ok Miss?"

"My head is seriously hurting." she moaned and clutched it.

"You want me to get something? Ice? tablets?"

She shook her head. "Tension headache. Nothing will help. 'Cept maybe a hammer to knock me out"

"Have you been asleep long?" he asked.

She shrugged.

"That must have been some nightmare." he mused.

"It was." she agreed. Winced as a sharper pain came.

"Wanna talk about it?"

Her worst fear? No way! "Just a dream." Although the warning 'dream Danny' gave her refused to leave. The next reckless situation you get into will be your last! Will that stop her though? Unlikely. Her head pounded with the same beat as her heart.

"I never apologised for worrying you." he stated.

"No you didn't." she turned over.

"It wasn't my best idea." he conceded. "I tried running. Didn't work very well for me. I missed you." he admitted.

"At least you knew I was alive!" she spat. "Do you know what it's like to worry constantly? Not knowing if the one you love is gonna come home safe and sound. If he is even gonna come home at all?"

"Miss I go through that every day with you. Always wondering if you are gonna run into a burning building or break up a fight or pull someone out of the way of a moving vehicle." he exhaled.

She sat up. Headache forgotten. "Really?"

"Really! I always worry that your not gonna come home. That this time I'm gonna lose you."

Missy relented. Now she knew what that felt like. "I can't change who I am Danny. I wouldn't if I could."

"I don't want you to change. I love you the way you are. I just want you to think. Actually realise that if you run in that burning building you may not get out. If you break up that fight then you could get hurt."

"That doesn't happen naturally for me Danny. I just get this urge to get stuck in."

"I know. It's one of the things I love about you. You're a doer. A fixer. You don't stand on the sidelines you get stuck in. I just wish you could curb the more…dangerous side that's all." he admitted.

"Look I can't promise that I won't do it. It would be an empty promise. First time I see it I'm likely to get stuck in. Half the time I don't even realise what I'm doing till I've done it or I'm in trouble. But I promise to TRY and stop and think."

He nodded.

"I warn you my brain vacated the premises ages ago mind."

He smiled.

"Thanks. For trying." he pulled her close.

"I didn't mean what I said. About Amie. I hate myself for hurting you like that." she told him. Her head against his chest.

"I know." he replied. "You warned me to back off….a few times. An I know what your like when your tired. You just wanted me to leave you alone."

She nodded.

"You still tired?" he murmured.

"Mmm hmm." she answered. In his arms she felt herself slowing slipping into the safe cocoon of sleep. No bright colours. No vortex. She was beside a tranquil pool at the base of a waterfall. The colours that surrounded her were muted blues and fresh greens. The sprinkling of falling water the only sound.

"Go to sleep then honey. Love you." he said. Kissed her once softly.

"Love you." she mumbled in reply. Didn't feel herself being lain down. She was already asleep.

**A/N if your wondering the colours are a metaphor for how missy feels responsible for the safety and care of Alice's and her family. The colour seeping is a metaphor for how it is all starting to take it's toll and is changing who she is on the inside. later the colours seeping our refers to missy's insecurities about not being able to keep them safe.**

**The danny gone story line was supposed to be longer but then I thought of something else which I thought was better so I scrapped it and decided on the next few chapters instead. Thanks for reading the last 2 chapters. They were pretty rubbish tbh x**


	63. Release

**3 Weeks Later**

Zoey had been home for 3 weeks. The nerves she initially felt remained but her parents gentle patience helped her a lot. At times though she was sure she sensed frustration. Or what she thought was frustration. They hated she still asked permission. That she could help, she tried but...she exhaled. She'd had a heart to heart with Missy about a week ago. That had also helped a little. At first she had came across like her parents. You shouldn't feel like this. You should feel like that. That she knew what he did to her was wrong. Like it wasn't love it was control. Feelings were feelings. She couldn't control them. She knew it was wrong to think this way and she felt disgusted and hated herself as much as she hated him! Halfway through Zoey had tears in her eyes and agreed with her. Missy had just looked at her and apologised. She had actually said sorry. Said she understood. Missy had just clicked like she does. She's scary sometimes. She just gets people. She explained how she felt the same towards the person who abused her. Zoey had gave her a disgusted look. Missy hadn't been abused! Trying to relate in that way was just sick! BUt then Missy had explained how she felt, there was no way she could have known that unless she had felt it too. Not with the depth of detail she went into, emotions wise that is. She said how everyone had said her abuser was disgusting and how inside she felt this urge to protect him even though it was wrong. She had told how he had convinced her she was in love with him. At her young age she had no idea if she was but had always been told by her parents you protect who you love.

Missy seemed to understand she was grateful for that. She had confided a little to her. Missy had promised not to tell anything she said to her parents. She wasn't telling her about the 'monster' she'd take that secret to her grave! No one was ever going to know how badly he defiled her body! She had bled a week ago. Lighter then usual but with all the stress she had been under she wasn't surprised. Her mothers relief when she asked for tampons had been tangible. She looked like she wanted to cry. To be honest she had wanted to cry when she saw the blood. It had been sheer relief! Now if only life would return back to normal everything would be fine.

Her parents were currently discussing whether or not to home school her. Personally she wanted to go back to school, get back to her old routine. But William hadn't been caught yet and reporters were still looking for their story. William's picture had been posted all over the place. The cops said it was only a matter of time before he was found. When she spoke to them she had to relive every moment in his presence. She had told her dad to leave. She could say this stuff in front of him. She couldn't hurt him in that way the police had said it was necessary for them to be told everything. To make sure he had all the relevant charges brought up against him. The whole time she had this woman sat next to her patting her hand. Zoey had wanted her to go too but she hadn't had a choice in the matter. If that woman had murmured o you poor girl one more time Zoey was gonna break her jaw! She had already lived through this stuff. Actually putting it into words was sheer hell but she refused to be a object of pity! Life had handed her a shitty hand no doubt but she could do without anyone's pity!

Her stomach growled reminding her that she hadn't ate any breakfast she walked from her room passed the living room.

"Can I…"

"Whatever it is Zoey yes." her dad replied.

She nodded. "Do you want a sandwich too?"

Ethan was shocked into silence. Usually she didn't offer him anything. "I'm ok Zoey. Thank you." he smiled.

She shrugged. Walked into the kitchen. Grabbed the bread from the cupboard. The marg, salad and juice from the fridge. Took them over to the table. Poured some orange juice in a glass. Placed the knife in the butter and began to hum a tune without thinking. This tune was familiar! Without warning she realised who used to hum this song….a memory overcame her. Of another kitchen. She clutched the knife hard as the sound of breaking glass was all around her. Flinched as she remembered the pain of his blows. Then the table…..the ra…..no way! She wasn't going there. It took everything inside her to block out she could without actively remembering it. Fuck off! Her arm jerked violently and the glass that was filled with juice was hit. It flew through the air crashing to the floor. She jumped and was pulled back to reality with a jolt. Exhaled a wobbly breath, realised she was shaking and forced her body to still. The images were slowly dissipating. Her dad appeared behind her.

"Zoey you ok baby?" he asked.

She spun quickly. "Christ dad!" she breathed.

"What up?" he asked. His eyes full of love and concern.

"I'm fine dad. I just hit the glass and it fell. Sorry."

"Zoey your bleeding."

He took a step towards her and she halted him with a look. Then she glanced at her finger. O yeah. She was. She hadn't noticed.

"Yeah dad I know." she lied. I um cut myself and as I pulled my arm away in reflex I hit the glass." she told him neutrally.

"I'll help you clean up huh?" he offered.

She shook her head. "It's ok dad. I know your busy with stuff for the fire station." her dad had his old job back. Apparently Ata was keen to give it back.

"It isn't important." he assured.

"It's spilt juice dad!" she snapped. Exhaled. "I'm ok." she added softly.

"Sort out your finger first ok baby." he asked.

She nodded. He walked away. As he did Zoey suddenly became fascinated by a trickle of blood trickled down her arm, passed her elbow and dropped to the floor. Mingled with the pool of orange juice. She hadn't even known she'd cut herself. Wow. She grabbed the kitchen roll and winced as she put pressure on it. Grabbed the first aid kit. Sat at the table and opened it up. Pulled out the plasters and the antiseptic. God she hated that stuff. It stung! Maybe she could just not use it? Then again god knows what was in the wound! She'd clutched the knife so hard the base of the knife had sliced into the side of her finger. Right she was just going to get this over with! Wiped off the blood, poured some antiseptic on some cotton wool and dabbed. Hissed as pain shot up her finger. Then she froze. She felt pain! Pain! Something other than anger and confusion. Something she understood. Something she could deal with! She tentatively dabbed again. Needing to be sure she felt it. Felt the sensation again and almost smiled. It was then she realised what she was doing and threw the cotton wool down. God was she turning into some sort of freak? She quickly bandaged her finger and put the first aid kit away. Refusing to look at the antiseptic as she did so.

Zoey tried to focus on something other then what she felt but she couldn't! She'd felt something. She didn't want to let that go! She knelt down and mopped up the orange juice with kitchen roll.

'Keep feeling it Zoey.'

Shut up! She told herself.

'No one will know. Just a little pain and you'll feel better!'

Go away! She ignored the voice that was telling her to hurt herself. It was tempting her. She began to pick up the shards of broken glass. Looked at a piece intently. Placed it in the dustpan quickly. Ignore the sharp edges Zo! CHRIST! That freaking name she was calling herself it now! As she picked up another she jabbed her hand. Not hard enough to make her bleed just enough to cause pain. Again the feeling flooded her. She clutched it harder without thinking

"Zoey you finished?" her dad called.

She jumped and dropped the glass. Startled, she had been lost in her own world.

"Yeah dad." she called back. Cleared the rest of the glass. She looked at it thinking hard. She picked up the sharpest bit and put it in her pocket. Dumped the rest and returned to her sandwich.

(X) The Next Day

Zoey had remained in her room after the glass incident. She brooded. The glass was under her pillow. She had sat and stared at it for the longest time this morning. Willing herself to get rid of it. She tried to but couldn't quite do it. She pressed play randomly on her Ipod dock. A song started blink 182. Adam's song. They started singing.

'**16 had such better days'**

Don't I freaking know it. I'm not even 16 yet and my days are so freaking shit! She thought

'**Pass the time in my room alone.'**

I get that too. God this was line was her life. Life was so freaking hard! She wanted to feel! Even pain was better then this never ending sadness, this numb feeling that filled her. Then the anger. This burning encompassing anger. She covered her eyes. C'mon you're a survivor Zoey. You would never have lasted the year with him if you weren't.

She pressed fast forward on her Ipod and another song started. She flopped back on her bed and closed her eyes. Avril Lavigne - Nobody's Home started playing. The lyrics washed over her. As soon as the song kicked in Zoey felt like the singer was singing to her directly.

'**I couldn't tell you why she felt this way. She felt it everyday.'**

That line summed her whole life up. Her whole fucked up life! Then the chorus kicked in.

'**She wants to go home but nobody's home it's where she lies, broken inside.'**

"I just want to go home!" She agreed. She was supposed to be home but this didn't FEEL like home. It felt…..God it was an existence. It was a roof. It was walls. But it was home. It wasn't her refuge. She exhaled.

'**She doesn't know where she belongs.'**

" I don't know where I belong!" she whispered and I want to find the reasons why too. Then again if she found out the reasons why could she cope? Zoey put her face in her hands to hide empty feeling that was filling her. God she wanted to be normal! But a line in a song told her that she can't. It began telling her that she wouldn't find what she left behind, god there really was no hope for her was there? She was doomed to be like this for the rest of her life!

'**Her feelings she hides, her dreams she can't find. She's losing her mind. She's fallen behind. She can't find her place. She's losing her faith. She's fallen from grace. SHE'S ALL OVER THE PLACE.**

CHRIST! She had to get this song off right now! She was so close to doing something stupid it was unreal. She pressed fast forward quickly. Relient K Candlelight came on. But Avril's lyrics haunted her. God if there was ever a song that explained her life then that was it. It was like Lavigne came and plucked the idea's straight out of her fucked up head! The song candlelight had a quick beat and felt too…jolly for her current mood. Fast forwarded that song too. At the moment all she wanted was….she pounded her fists off the bed. She wanted this shit never to have happened! She wanted to be with her friends, a normal 15 year old boy. Figuring out how to get cute boys to notice her. Talking about make up. Having a life! No she was freaking recluse in her bedroom. She never spoke to anyone beyond family she hated it! Anger rose and rose inside her and she picked up her pillow and threw it across the room at her bedroom door,. Jumped from her bed about to put her fist through the bedroom wall when something glittering caught her eye. She looked down and saw the glass. She didn't think. She needed a release. Gripped the glass tightly. Dug it into the palm of her hand... Pain burned. Blood oozed and Zoey felt…..she held it tighter, pressed it deeper just for a second then pulled it out and exhaled. She sat and looked at her hand. The blood seeping. She grabbed hankies and pressed it to the wound.

"Stupid Zoey! Your freaking stupid!" she told herself. "Next time do it in a place where no one will see it! People are gonna ask questions!" she frowned and pocketed her bloody hankies. She quickly hid her glass to where no one would find it. She climbed from her window. Walked from the veranda. Through the front door made enough noise that someone would hear her. Her mother appeared and saw Zoey's bloody hand.

"Zoey what happened?"

"I went for a walk. Tripped and fell on some glass."

Lexi looked dubious. Glass in the bush?

"Granddad has been taking day trippers out, they probably broke a bottle and didn't tell no one."

Lexi nodded and Zoey suppressed a relieved exhale.

Lexi examined her hand. Prodded around it. "Doesn't look too deep, you shouldn't need stitches."

"That's good." Zoey remarked.

"I'll get the first aid kit." Lexi said.

Zoey shrugged.

"You usually kick off." Lexi mused out loud.

Zoey shrugged once again. Lexi retuned and sat down. "Right here's the antiseptic. This is gonna sting Zoey."

Zoey again suppressed a smile.

**A/N :/ Zoey wot u doin? and how far will she go? keep reading.  
A/N2 - AND i loved last nite ep aww defo my fave eva :D bby trevanion :)**


	64. Agreement

Zoey touched the bandage on her hand later. Right she was making choices. She had limited options so she had to chose carefully. She crossed her legs and frowned. She was choosing to feel something other then anger. That was good right? She now had to chose between cutting or not. Had to chose whether to bleed or not. In theory it seems like the simplest of choices. Don't cut. Don't bleed, but this was a release for her. She had felt so full of rage earlier and she saw the blood well up in her hand it was slowly disappearing. The more blood came up, the less anger she felt. She didn't want to be angry anymore.

Darkness would be falling soon. Her phone rang. No guessing who this was…..no one rang her but family anymore. Probably Missy. Ringing on an update on how she was. God this aspect of eh life exasperated her. If she wanted people to know how she felt she 'd post it all over face book, as it was she was happy just to bottle it. She looked and saw it was EJ. He never called her. Right what was wrong?

"Zo." he said.

She winced at the name. "Junior!" she spat.

"Drop the junior!" he hissed. It was then she noticed his voice was strange.

"Drop the Zo!" she retorted. "My reasons for hating it are worse then yours."

"O one-upmanship Zo. How very mature of you. Mine is worse!" he said in a childish voice.

"Fuck you Junior!" the name a sneer. "All you are is a pale comparison to dad. You'd be lucky to grow up to be half the man he is!"

"What about William? How much of a man is he?" his vice slightly slurred.

She froze. Couldn't believe he said that! Then anger filled her. She smashed her phone off the bedside table. Had it back to her ear in a second. She heard him swearing. "How was that?"

"Bitch!" he hissed.

"Proud of it!" she retorted.

"You still haven't answered my question ZO!" he asked nastily. "Is he much of a man?"

She inhaled sharply and bit back tears. Like hell was she letting him know he upset her. She'd rather die! "What do you want Ethan?" she asked throat hoarse.

"Mum's phone is off. I need to speak to her." he told her curtly.

"She and dad are out. Daniel is here with me."

Ethan swore.

"Is that is?" Zoey questioned.

"Yeah. You can go back to dreaming about your man." he said nonchalantly

Anger rose again. "Just watch Ethan I swear to God when you get home I'm gonna kill you!" she warned. Threw her phone off the wall. Pulled her drawer open with so much floor the contents fell to the floor. She was on her knees in second s looking through the mess. Found what she wanted. She grabbed her bit of glass pulled her t-shirt up, didn't hesitate. The glass was dug the glass into her stomach. Her face was contorted with anger as she pulled it across sharply. She felt the warm rush of sticky blood. She then stood there eye's closed breathing heavily. Feeling blood trickle down her stomach and soak her jeans. She stood there feeling everything leave her. She opened her eyes and her head spun. She wobbled over to the wardrobe and fell against it. Opened it and pulled out an old t-shirt. Held it against the cut. She wobbled weakly over to her bed and fell on it.

Daniel knocked on her door.

"Zoey you ok? I heard a crash then silence."

"I'm good." she breathed. Forced her voice to stay steady. "I'm just changing." she said forcefully.

"O ok." he said. She heard receding footsteps.

She rolled herself into a tight ball on her bed. Her blood had flowed and her anger had been released. Now the only feeling that remained was sadness. She released that the only way she knew how. Tears slid down her face. God she hated EJ! He was a nasty bastard! She felt fatigue begin to weight heavy on her eyes. She let them close.

(X)

Zoey was awoke a little while late by a burning in her stomach. Opened her eyes and looked down.

"Shit!" she hissed.

Saw the t-shirt she had held against her wound was soaked. Her bed spread was covered in blood. She moved the t-shirt and looked at the cut. About a 3 inch wound was red and mottled. She moved quickly and winced in pain.

"Christ!" she hissed. Panted. She then shuffled over to the place where she hid her bandages. She dressed the wound. Pulled off her t-shirt and changed. She then changed her bed spread and wrapped the t-shirts in it. She peeked from her room to make sure Daniel wasn't anywhere in sight. When she was sure the coast was clear she hurried over to the washing machine and thrust the items inside. Put it on a 60 degree boil wash. Placed a liberal amount of washing powder. Fabric softener and vanish stain remover. Turned it on. Heard it filling, as soon as it began spinning Zoey began to walk back to her room. She heard a car pull up. Various male voices. She tensed. EJ's voice. She felt some tension leave her body. Then she remembered. He could go straight to hell for her! After what he said she refused to speak to him ever again. She heard raucous laughter then a car pulling away. EJ stumbled into the house.

She frowned as he wobbled towards his room. "What have you done?" she fumed.

"Nothing I'm fine." he replied flippantly. Fell against the wall.

"Don't nothing me! You've been drinking!" she spat.

"If I have?" he stood up straight. Using his full height to try and intimidate her.

"Your too young you little idiot!"

"Shut up and go back to your man." he told her dismissively.

Zoey saw red. Was beside him in a second. Grabbed his shoulders and flung him off the wall. "Say that one more time and I'm gonna kill you I swear to God!" Meaning every word.

EJ raised his hands to push her away. Zoey moved her head at the same time and he ended up hitting her face. Hard. She released him and grabbed her face.

"Zoey…." Ethan began in a soft voice.

"So THAT'S how you make your self feel like a man then? Just like William?" she spat at him. Her eyes black. "I fucking hate you!" she hissed and walked away from him.

He looked at her. Genuinely remorseful. "I'm sorry." he called after her. She had already walked into her room and closed the door.

Ethan followed her. Couldn't let her think he would hit her. He wasn't like that! Walked into her room.

"Zoey?" he asked.

"Go away Ethan. Or do you wanna hit me some more?"

"Zoey that was a mistake. An accident. I didn't wanna hit you." he stressed.

"You using his excuse too? He didn't want to hit me, he had to keep me in line. He only did it coz I didn't do as I was told. Because I talked back. Coz I was passionate and had an attitude. Or is it coz I aimed my temper at you coz he hit me for that as well. Come to think of it he didn't need a reason so why should you?" she yelled at him.

Ethan's face was pained at her declaration. "I had some beers and a couple of joints at Samuel's brothers. It's messed with my eyes and reactions." he told her.

Zoey's body stiffened. "Drugs?" she squeaked.

"No. Weed." he answered.

"For Christ sake!" she spat and walked form her room. Returned with coffee. "Drink it!"

They heard another car pull up. A truck. She looked out the window. Their parents.

"Shit!" she whispered. Got up and sprayed her perfume and deodorant all over the place.

"What?" he stood up and wobbled.

Zoey pushed him back down "Shut up and sit down and keeps till too! Don't say a word. They'll know!" she warned.

"Zoey. EJ." their dad called.

"We're in my room dad." she answered. Please don't come in here! She prayed. Shot a final warning look at EJ.

Her dad knocked then walked in. Dammit!

"You two ok in here?" he asked cautiously.

Zoey smiled a wide smile. "Yeah dad. We've decided to sort out our differences like adults."

"O." Ethan said worriedly.

"We're just talking dad. You know sister to brother. Clearing the air."

"EJ?" Ethan asked.

EJ nodded.

"What's up with all the perfume?" Ethan asked and coughed.

Zoey paled. "Um. It was EJ. He um, well he stunk out my room. It was proper disgusting." she said. Reverting to her old voice. Daring EJ to contradict her.

"Next time open a window yeah?" Ethan asked.

She nodded. "Ok dad. Goodnight."

"Night." he replied.

He began to leave her room.

"Love you dad." she called hesitantly.

Ethan stopped and smiled. "I love you baby. Both of you."

EJ rolled his eyes. Ethan closed the door.

"Love you dad." EJ mimicked in a high pitched tone.

"Shut up. Nothing is stopping me going out there and telling him everything ok!" she hissed.

EJ crossed his arms.

Zoey got up and put a CD on. Turned it up a little. Froze when she realised she hadn't asked permission.

"I'm going to my room." EJ muttered.

She walked to her door and blocked it.

"You keeping me prisoner?" he asked pointedly. Deliberately using that word.

Her eyes darkened. "Sit!" she warned. "Now!"

"NO…."

"DO IT!" she said in a deadly voice.

He looked at her shocked he had never heard her sound so….serious before. Sat on her bed.

"What are you doing to yourself?" she asked arms crossed tightly.

"It's just abit of fun." he replied.

"Drugs aren't fun EJ they are dangerous!" she retorted.

"Screw you Zoey!" he stood up.

"I'm warning you Ethan. Walk out and I'll tell them!" she vowed.

He looked back and saw in her eyes she meant it. He sat back down.

"I covered for you tonight. I won't again."

"I was careless tonight. We do this all the time when we stay at Samuel's brothers. I just couldn't get in touch with mum."

Zoey's eyes widened. "God EJ your 13!"

"Go to hell Zoey! Just coz you have no life!"

She took a step towards him. "It's because of drugs I have no life!" she yelled. Took a deep breath calming herself.

"Kids." her mum called.

"Sorry I got a little angry. He's still alive aren't you EJ."

"Yeah." he said dryly.

Zoey paced. Stopped and looked at EJ. "Please don't do this. Please!" she begged. She needed to tell him why she felt so strongly about it but couldn't."

"Zoey are you worried about me?" he asked curiously.

She crossed her arms and looked at the floor. "You're my baby brother." she whispered. "It's my job to take care of you."

He smiled a little. "Don't worry about me Zoey. It isn't strong stuff. Just a laugh. I'm not that stupid!" he assured.

"Till the buzz fades and you need stronger stuff to supply it! I hate drugs EJ and if you have a ounce of feeling for me you'll stop." she pleaded.

He shook his head.

She got up and walked to her drawer. Emotional blackmail time. The big guns!

"Do you care about me Ethan?" she asked.

He looked uncomfortable. "Yeah. You're my sister." he admitted softly.

"What would you do if I told you I was doing something incredibly stupid?"

He froze and looked at her. "What you doing?"

She opened the drawer and pulled out a pouch. Threw it to him. He opened it and pulled out a sharp piece of glass. He looked at it then her. Shook his head. "No." he whispered.

She looked him straight in the eye.

"Why?" he breathed.

How to explain this to a kid? She faltered. "I have my reasons."

"I'm telling mum!" he stood up.

"Do that and I'll tell them your taking drugs. She challenged.

He looked to the door and Zoey. Clearly torn. Then his face turned cynical. "You haven't done it yet!"

Tossed the glass on the bed.

She moved across and picked it up. Held it to her arm. She pressed it lightly and blood welled.

He shook his head. "That is nothing! You haven't got the bottle!"

"Have I not? Really?" lifted her t-shirt a little. He saw bandages.

"You…You…." he stuttered.

She pulled them away and he saw a jagged cut across her stomach. He put his hand over his mouth.

"Jesus Zoey what you doing to yourself." he echoed her sentiment from earlier without realising it. It seemed the coffee and the sight of his sisters wound had sobered him right up.

"Now EJ, remind me. Do you care?" she asked calmly. Pressed the bandages back down.

He nodded.

"Carry on with the drugs and I cut myself harder then before. Deeper. Who knows on a really bad day I might even kill myself!"

His eyes widened.

"Fine. I stop the drinking! And the drugs. You stop cutting!" he negotiated.

She walked over and held out her hand. "Shake on it."

"How do I know you'll stop?" he asked.

"How do I know you will?" she retorted.

They were quiet.

"I trust you EJ. Promise me and I'll believe you." she told him.

He nodded. "I promise." shook her hand.

"I promise too." She looked him clear in the eye. "I'm just looking out for you EJ. You'll thank me one day." she said as he approached her bedroom door.

"I can take care of my self Zo….ey."

"I just love you." she whispered.

"Me too." he said the quickly disappeared from her room.

**A/N ok they have an agreement bt will they stick to it? keep reading x**


	65. First Hurdle

A few days passed. Both Zoey and Ethan had kept their promise. She hadn't cut and he hadn't drank or smoked. Ethan and his friends were in his room. Zoey was sat on the sofa on the veranda soaking up the sun. Her eyes were closed, her head rested back against the wall. She was drifting. She actually felt a little better not cutting. She still didn't have no other release and God knew when she was irritated she was tempted but she resisted. Barely. She was giving this drifting a trial run as her new coping mechanism. It wasn't as quick a fix as the cutting was but it seemed to be pretty good so far. Letting her mind wander. Only it didn't much help when it was her mind giving her the trouble. She'd work on that later though.

She had been tense about Ethan's friends coming over. It wouldn't be too bad if there was like one or two but he like 6 teenage strapping lads in there. Or there had been. they were gradually leaving. Suffice to say when she saw 6 lads going in she got outta there fast. Her parents had said they didn't have to come in but c'mon a month had passed. EJ's friends couldn't stay away forever! It wasn't fair on him so she swallowed the fear and told her parents she was fine. And she would be! EJ wouldn't let his friends touch her and even if one came close a big loud scream and her dad would come running. She was fine.

"Hello." came a deep voice.

She opened her eyes. Saw Samuel smiling at her. He looked like a cobra about to strike. "Hello." she said stiffly. Forced herself to be polite. This was the asshole giving her little brother drugs and alcohol. She had promised to let Ethan handle this. Bit her tongue. He was still EJ's friend even if he was a prick!

Samuel stood surveying her.

Her eyes narrowed. She wasn't a piece of meat. "EJ's room is that way if you got lost." she suggested sharply pointing to the house.

"You still owe me an apology." he hissed. Eyes black.

She laughed. "Do I now? You get in MY face you pay the consequences! Bastard!" she fumed.

"You have a big mouth." he warned.

"It's my best quality." she said cockily.

Samuel took a step towards her.

"If you don't move away from me what I did in the hallway will be child's play." she warned stiffly.

He smiled. "I wonder why I didn't notice you before." he mused.

Zoey frowned. He hadn't been EJ's friend before.

"I'm 15. I would be in your class at school, but I can't remember you." he elaborated at her frown.

"My mum wouldn't let Ethan hang out with older guys."

"Mother doesn't know." he smiled showing his teeth. "As far as she is concerned I'm a sweet innocent little 13 year old. Like your little brother." the look in his eyes said he was anything but sweet and innocent.

Zoey's eyes narrowed. "Leave him out of your shit!"

"He isn't forced to do anything!" Samuel said simply.

"What would you do if he said no?" she challenged.

"I've never had to think of that. He is VERY willing." Samuel smirked. "EJ knows the score."

"So do I!" she spat. "So keep him out of it I don't want him mixed up with stuff like that!"

"I don't like what your tone Zoey. What are you implying? Come on. Spell it out." Samuel urged.

"If anything happens to him. I'll find you. I won't be alone either." she warned.

Samuel looked inside the house quickly. Then he was beside her in a second. Grabbed her roughly by the collar and yanked her to standing. "Don't make threats to me." he hissed.

She stared back at him. Unafraid. "I don't make idle threats. This is a promise. Leave my little brother alone!"

He spun her and pressed her face against the wall of the house. "Don't push me Zoey! Or next time me and my older brother will make you disappear again. For good this time. No amount of searching from daddy will find you!" he spat.

She elbowed him in the ribs hard. "You don't scare me!"

His breath escaped in a whoosh and she laughed. He pulled her back roughly spun her again and threw her back against the wall. Raised his hand. She glared at him daring him to do it. His hand began to move…a door opened in the house. He heard it and lowered his hand. He pushed her away from him. She fell, sprawled on the seat.

She righted herself and smiled cockily.

"Just remember my warning." he advised.

"Was that a warning?" she smirked.

"You'll see sweet cheeks."

Zoey paled at the endearment. All the fight left her in a rush. Her heart stopped for a second. No one knew about the name! Not the cops. Not her parents no one but her and…..

"Put the fear of God into you now haven't I?" he laughed.

"NO." she said defiantly. Somehow kept the tremor from her voice. It wasn't as convincing as before though.

"What if I told you I know him? What if I told you I could lead him right here?" he hissed. Leaned in closer. So his mouth was right beside her ear.

Her breathing changed. turned shallow. "I don't believe you." her voice wobbled. He disregarded her statement.

"I'll give him a trail. Right to your bedroom door huh?" he whispered.

Zoey froze. Still as a statue. Couldn't move.

He stepped back and surveyed his handiwork. "It's been fun." he said with a smile.

Zoey's eyes were wide and fearful. She didn't even acknowledge that he left her alone on the veranda. William! Samuel knew him. God he could find her! How else would that freak know the name? she was full of fear. She sat on the veranda and covered her face with her hands. William couldn't find her! He just couldn't! She couldn't go through that again. She wasn't strong enough. She's kill herself before he took her again! Yeah that's what she'd do! The glass was in her room…just a couple of cuts in the right places and she'd be gone in minutes. Wait a minute. Her agreement with EJ.

'Screw the agreement!' A voice told her. 'William won't wait!'

"But EJ." she whispered out loud.

'EJ wasn't abducted. Raped. Beaten was he? You were! He can take care of himself! Look out for number one Zoey.'

Confusion swirled. Along with fear and anger. She needed to vent, she needed to release…

"You ok?" a soft voice asked.

She jumped from her seat. She hadn't heard anyone walk towards her. Too lost in her own confused messed up head.

The boy backed off. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." he said softly.

She liked that he backed off. It helped her relax quicker. Not completely though. "Who are you?" she asked suspiciously.

"I'm with the delivery man." pointed to the truck.

"O." she whispered.

"Your parents around?" he questioned.

She nodded. "Yeah I'll go get my mum."

He smiled. "I'm Jeffy by the way."

She looked at him. "Zoey." she finally told him after a long deliberation.

"Nice to meet you….." he paused for a while. "Zoey."

She couldn't hold back a smile. "I'll just…."

"Go on then." he said with mock impatience. "Takes him twice as long to deliver the orders when I'm here. The ladies get…distracted."

She shook her head walking into the house. Her mum followed her back out. Walked to the van. Talked to the man there.

"So Zoey ." he said slowly. Stood opposite her. "You taken?"

She froze. "Yes." she said quickly.

He exhaled. "You looking for a friend maybe?" he hinted.

Friend? She could do with one of those. "Friends are good." she agreed.

"I'll add you on face book. And we'll talk. As long as your boyfriend doesn't mind. Your name is Zoey Be…."

"Trevanion. And my boyfriend will be fine." she told him. Her original second name invited too many questions. Questions she didn't wanna answer.

"Well Zoey Trevanion how old are you?"

"15." she replied.

"I'm 16. This is my weekend job. I hate it but it's money I suppose."

Her mother came carrying boxes. Jeffy approached and took them from her.

"Thanks." Lexi said.

"It was nice talking to you Jeffy."

"The pleasure was all mine." he said with a smile. Took the boxes inside with Lexi. "I'll add you." he said as he walked from the house towards the truck.

"Zoey are you…." her mum began.

"Yes." Zoey cut off her sentence.

"If he made you uncomfortable you should have said."

"God a boy spoke to me. it's not like he's Jack The Ripper!" she spat and stormed inside. Her mother thought she was gonna go into meltdown if a boy even looked at her! She was thinking that thought when without warning a hand was clamped over her mouth and she was dragged in the living room. Her first instinct was to fight. Her mum was outside and she couldn't scream so no way was she going down without a fight! She elbowed and kicked he had her beside the open window in no time. She was released quickly. Pushed to the floor. She fell to her knees.

"See how easy that was?" Samuel hissed. "You could be gone without anyone even knowing."

Zoey was looking up at him breathing heavily. Trying to suppress the shakes inside her.

"Don't push me. That is your FINAL warning!" he walked away from her. "I'm off Eth." he shot her a final look. "You coming to mine later?" she understood what Samuel was asking Ethan.

"Sure Sam. I'll see you."

Samuel left and Zoey was alone. Christ! She pushed herself up to standing after allowing her heart beat to return to normal. Rubbed her face. EJ walked in. Saw her distressed.

"Zoey you ok?" he asked worriedly. Searched her face with his eyes.

"Ethan." she replied a whisper. Then forced her voice to be bright. "I'm good. Never better." she lied. Walked calmly from the living room into her room. Checked to make sure her window was locked. Lay down on her bed and covered her face. She wasn't gonna cut! NO way! She didn't have to. She was strong!

10 minutes later EJ burst in unannounced. "GOT YO…." he began.

She sat up and frowned. He saw her arms were covered.

"Show me!" he demanded.

"Show you what?" she asked confused.

"I know you've cut yourself. Don't bother to deny it!"

"I haven't!" she protested.

He walked over and pushed the sleeves up on her arms. They were clear

"How could you…."Zoey began.

"Swear down on mum you didn't cut anywhere else!" he couldn't check.

"I promised EJ." she whispered.

"But you were so….rattled."

"WE had an agreement. I thought you trusted me." she squeaked.

"Zoey I do I just…." he exhaled.

"You thought at the first sign of trouble I'd fold like a deck of cards huh? Instead of trying to intervene and help me you were gonna let me fail so you could gloat?" she spat.

"No I wasn't gonna gloat. I just…..I dunno Zoey."

"Get out of my room EJ."

"Zoey." he protested.

"And out of my life." she added.

He stood there. Pleading with his eyes.

"NOW!" she yelled.

He exhaled. "I was worried about you Zoey." he told her sincerely. Then left.

Zoey felt a familiar feeling. It rose deep inside her. It was like a visit from an old familiar friend. She went to her drawer to retrieve her glass.

'Go on Zoey. Do it. Release it!' the voice crowed. 'EJ expects it!'

She lay back down on her bed still holding her glass. "He doesn't. Not really." she whispered. Not believing it. He HAD expected her to give in. Was that because he himself had no intention of honouring their agreement? He was going over Samuel's tonight. He WANTED her to cave first so he had an excuse! She clutched the glass tighter. She couldn't believe the GALL of him! She raised the glass. She had been in such a good frame of mind. She was resisting! Trying her hardest. For him! She hadn't wanted to let him down! Needed to protect him! She shook her head and threw her clock at her CD player. A song began to play. She frowned.

'**MY scars remind me that the past is real. I tear my heart open just to feel.'**

This song was scars by Papa Roach. She knew the acoustic version. Papa Roach was too heavy but the acoustic version to this song was amazing. It was about a man who tore himself open trying to help someone. He was wasting his time the singer sang. Zoey realised something at that second. She had to stop cutting for her!

'**I can't help you fix yourself. At least I can say I tried. I'm sorry I have to go on with my life.'**

That line told her that if she was going to cut she was gonna do it. Eventually. Nothing will change that. Not an agreement with anyone. She sat up and looked at the glass that lay flat in her hand. This wasn't a release! It was a detour down a long road. The easy way out. Cutting herself when things got tough wasn't the answer. Learning how to cope was. William shouldn't still have this hold over her! And Samuel. He could threaten all he wanted. She refused. She was manning up. No one was gonna belittle her or walk all over her again. Let Samuel try! She'd demolish him! William had taken a whole year of her life away. Along with her passion, her dignity, her pride and he was still taking it now. She was enabling him to do it. He isn't here Zoey. He is gone and you are free. She tossed the glass in her bin. Looked at herself in the mirror.

"I'm doing this for me." she whispered. "The control he had is gone." she vowed.

**A/N o ye of little faith. thinkin i was gonna have zoey cut again *evil smile* what actually happens is MUCH better then that. keep reading.  
Plus samuel does he know William or is he messing with Zoey hmmmm!  
And Ethan too is he gonna take drugs tonight at Samuels...many questions. at least zoey is sorted though...**


	66. Stronger

EJ sat in Samuel's room. Saw everyone was off their faces. Laughing at stuff that wasn't funny. Or just looking really blank. He had done this? He thought incredulous. Not only that but he had thought it was good too! Christ!

"C'mon EJ it's just a pill." Samuel urged.

EJ shook his head. "No. Like I said before I don't do this anymore. If I did I was only smoking. I've never tried pills and I'm not about to. Look at Zeth!"

Zeth was in the corner muttering. Looking at everyone suspiciously.

"Just a bad trip. He'll get over it. It doesn't happen to everyone."

EJ shook his head.

"The buzz off this stuff is far better then off the weed. It just blows your mind!" he raved.

"Which is why I don't want it! Weed is all fair and good. NO hard stuff!"

"This is your sister isn't it?" Samuel hissed.

"It's no one! I'm not doing it coz I don't want to!" EJ replied.

Samuel raised his eye brows. "Your scared aren't you?"

EJ bristled. "I'm not scared of anything!"

"Hear that guys Eth here is scared of a little pill!"

All the guys laughed raucously. EJ's fists clenched.

"If your not scared take it!" Samuel goaded. Thrust the pill in his hand.

EJ glared at Samuel then looked at the small innocent looking pill in his hand. It couldn't hurt could it? Zoey was gonna cut eventually. He knew it and so did she. And one pill wasn't gonna get him addicted. But then he would be breaking a promise. And his sisters trust. That wouldn't have bothered him a few days ago but for some reason it did now. He exhaled.

"Later." put the pill in his pocket. "I'm being picked up by my uncle in 10. I can't be tripping when he gets here can I?"

Samuel smiled. "I guess not. You'll like it EJ. I tried it a few nights ago."

"How do you get this stuff?"

"My big brother works with a dealer. I don't know his name." he lied. He did!

EJ nodded.

"He skims off the top." Samuel grinned. "Clever huh?"

"Actually no. What if this dealer finds out? He'll be pissed!"

Samuel shook his head. "Not this one. He's all over. He lost the woman he loved about a month ago. Is in pieces apparently. Turns out she was pregnant too."

"Poor guy." EJ sympathised. "To lose your wife and kid!"

"I know." Samuel said. Smirked at Ethan. He hadn't mentioned they were married. "He really wants her back. She was EVERYTHING to him."

EJ's face was full of pity. Then he heard beeping. "That's my ride. Gotta go."

"See you at school tomorrow EJ." Sam lead him out of the house.

"See you Sam." EJ walked out of the door.

Sam returned to his room and smiled. Sat back and rested his arms behind his head.

"Yeah EJ you feel sorry for the guy." he murmured. "That poor guy who lost everything is William. You just felt sorry for your sisters abuser." he chuckled happily.

Messing with this family was fun! Maybe he should turn it up a notch. Specifically Zoey. He knew just how to do it too! He picked up his phone and dialled. She would regret the day she threatened him! He was gonna break her and love it!

(X)

Zoey was walking from her room. Right Zoey this is the new more confident you! Just go for it. She checked her watch. It was 10:30. It had taken her 2 hours to try and force herself to ask a simple request. She walked into the living room looked at her parents who were looking at paperwork.

"Mum, dad I was wondering if I could decorate my room." Zoey asked quickly.

Lexi and Ethan smiled. "That's a great idea!" they chorused.

"Nothing too fancy just a lick of paint." she finished.

"You have a think and we'll see what we can do." Ethan told her.

"It just occurred to me that it wasn't like that before I was you know…..taken. All the stuff in there is new."

Ethan looked at Lexi.

"The kitchen is different too. And so is in here. But EJ's room, your room and the study is the same."

"Zoey, you know how your Auntie Amie is in the army?"

Zoey nodded.

"Well she can fly planes too. It came down here. Tore the roof clean off granddad's house. Took out the entire right side of this house."

"Whoa." she whispered.

"Yeah." Lexi agreed.

"And you and Ethan had to deal with that alone?" Zoey whispered.

Lexi glanced at Ethan. Exhaled. "We did." she finally admitted.

Zoey was lost in deep thought. She had stolen her dad away when he was needed at home. She wondered why her mother didn't hate her!

"My old laptop?" she whispered. "I guess that's gone."

Lexi shook her head. "It's in the cupboard in the study. EJ refused to use it coz of it's vibrant colour." Lexi smiled. "He's too much a man apparently!"

"It's why I picked it." Zoey replied with a smile. "Bright pink."

"You want it?" Lexi asked.

She nodded. "If you…." cut herself off and bit her tongue. She told herself she wasn't going to ask all the time anymore.

"I'll get it." Ethan offered.

"Actually dad could mum get it. I wanna talk to you." she said hesitantly.

Lexi got up and walked out. Put her hand on Ethan's shoulder as she left.

"Dad um." she whispered.

Ethan sat quietly sensing she would appreciate no interruptions.

"I would like is to spend more time together. Like to get to know each other again." Zoey said looking at the floor.

"I'd like that." he replied.

Zoey looked up at him. Nodded a little. "Me too. And I think it'll help. You know with the backing away. I don't do it coz it's you. It's just like…..instinctive you know."

"I know Zoey." he assured.

"We were really close before this. Before Swift. I want that closeness back. Do you think we can?" she asked.

"Definitely." Ethan smiled. He was getting his little girl back.

They both sat in silence.

"Your doing really well Zoey." Ethan told her. "Me and your mum are so proud of you."

"I don't feel like it sometimes." she admitted. Wringing her hands together.

"Some people don't get back to the way they were. Some people don't even come close. Some need to be institutionalised for their own safety. Some self harm as a way of coping. Your doing so well. You found a way to cope without that stuff. I can slowly see little quirks of your old personality coming through. And your old smile. It's been back here. I can't tell you how happy I am to see it!"

She felt guilt at her dad's words. Everyone thought she was good but she wasn't….. "Look dad. I sorta have se….."

Lexi walked in carrying a pink laptop and charger. Broke the moment. "It needs a charge." Lexi said.

"You sorta what Zoey?" Ethan asked.

Her mum and dad were looking at her. Thy looked so happy that she was getting back to normal. She couldn't burst their bubble. It wasn't like she was gonna do it again. "I just love you both a lot." she finally said and smiled at them.

"We love you too." Lexi told her.

Zoey nodded. "Do you mind….." bit off her request again. "I'll be in my room." she told them. "I'm going to bed. it's getting on."

"No bother." Ethan told her. "Goodnight baby."

As soon as they heard Zoey's bedroom door close Lexi was almost jumping up and down on the spot. "Did you see and hear her Ethan?" her smile huge. "She seemed so…"

"Back to normal?" he supplied. His smile was wide too.

"Yeah. She's doing so well on her own."

Ethan nodded. "She is. I didn't doubt she could. She's like you. You had struggles at 15 and didn't give up. That's the reason I knew she'd be fine."

"She's far stronger then I was at that age. If that happened to me I think I would gave cracked up. She gets her inner strength from you." she murmured.

"Did you notice that her brown eyes now have flecks of green in them?" Ethan sked.

"Do they?"

"Yeah. The brown is softer now and if you sit close enough you can see emerald in their depths. The light has to catch it just right though." he mused.

"So my eyes are coming through somewhere. I didn't mind the kids having your eyes. I always loved them."

Ethan made a face.

She frowned. "What?"

"It's nothing Lex." he stood up.

She put her hand on his arm to stop him from walking away. "Tell me." she urged. "No secrets Ethan. We're a team."

He closed his eyes and exhaled. Opened them and looked at her. He was startled. At this moment she looked so much like the young girl he had fell in love with at 16. The look on her face, that same look she's wore so often. Concern mixed with love. Except it couldn't be that coz she didn't love him anymore!

"Lexi I….."

She took a step towards him. "Yes."

He couldn't resist it. He removed her hand from his arm and pulled her to him. He then pressed his lips to hers softly. So soft that they both shouldn't have felt it…..but they did. With the force of an electric bolt. She gasped and he deepened the kiss. In that second all control snapped and drifted away. They rode the familiar feeling, the waves of desire that had always consumed gem. Lexi stopped kissing Ethan long enough to lead him to their old bedroom.

(X)

A person sauntered onto Mini Leopards Den. He saw that all the lights were out at the house. Smiled menacingly. He circled the house just to make sure. Yep all was quiet. He smiled. Now was the time! He crept up the stairs and tried the front door. Locked. Easily dealt with. He pulled out a pen knife and used one of the attachments. He checked his watch when he heard the lock give. 4am. Plenty of time. He tip toed into the house. Saw a sign declaring Zoey's room. Ah sweet cheeks! He thought.

He inhaled deeply opened the door and saw her asleep on her side. He closed the door behind him.

**A/N Zoey!**


	67. Shaken

Ethan came awake slowly. He opened his eyes and saw Lexi sprawled on her stomach a pillow bunched under her head. Her blond hair was flowing over her shoulders. The sight of her stole his breath. She had awoke once last night he was just about to leave. He stupidly kissed her. God it hadn't been this intense when they were kids feeling the first flushes of love and lust. He had thought nothing could top how badly he wanted her when he was 17. He was wrong. One simple kiss and they just exploded. All that desire he used to feel for her was reawakened. But look at them. He was her EX husband. There was a reason they were divorced. Not that he had agreed with it at the time. He had made his peace with it though!

Lexi seemed to sense his thoughts coz she shuffled closer to him. Wrapped her arms around his waist and fit her head on his shoulder. The spot her head had occupied all those years ago.

"Ethan." she breathed in sleep.

He wanted so badly to wrap his arms around her. To forget the past and embrace a new future but how could he? SHE broke his heart. She called for the divorce. She decided that he wasn't good enough! The only thing that had kept him going at the beginning had been his kids. Then looking for Zoey had been his priority. But now everything was returning to normal and he and Lexi had fallen straight back into history. They shouldn't have done this! He was still in love with her. If he was honest he had never stopped loving her. She could probably murder him and he would still love her. She was the only person in the whole world he had trusted fully. At times he had thought she had been made specifically for him. How many people ended up marrying their first proper girlfriend? He thought it was for the rest of their life, now he knew better!

The first time he had saw her at 13 he'd knew she was special. He hadn't been old enough to fully appreciate her though. It was juat a feeling. As the time passed and they got closer he came to realise how utterly amazing she was. So clever and funny. She made him forget how rubbish his life was just by smiling at him. She had did that alot. After their first kiss at 15 he'd fell in love or that's when he first knew he was in love. He'd probably loved her all along. Since then he hadn't looked at another woman. In New Zealand he'd dated but they hadn't come close to what he felt for Lexi. And she just tossed him away. Disregarded the depth of emotion he felt for her! He exhaled silently. He couldn't handle being messed with anymore.

"I'm going to shower Lex." he whispered.

"Mmm hmm." she replied. Tightened her hold.

"Lex." he urged.

Without warning she reached up and kissed him heatedly. Any thought he had of leaving were immediately banished into oblivion.

(X)

Lexi and Ethan lay in the aftermath. Neither knew what to say now they were both awake. Talk about the awkward morning after. It had never been like this between them.

"Ethan."

"Lexi." they said simultaneously. Then exhaled.

"Where do we go from here Ethan?" Lexi asked.

He sat up and shrugged, ran his hands through his hair.

"I dunno either." she agreed.

"I think it's best if…" Ethan paused. Not quite believing he was saying this. "We forget this happened."

Lexi looked at him. Determined to hide the hurt she was sure showed clearly. "Forget?"

He nodded. "Like a one off." no way was he saying one night stand. That term was distasteful! "WE just got caught up in the moment, you know Zoey being better."

"Um, yeah I guess we did." she replied. Except that it happened more than once! What was he gonna blame the other times on? She thought angrily.

"I'm sorry it happened." he said sincerely.

O great now he was sorry! Way to go Ethan piss me off some more! She thought. "Yeah me too!" she said stiffly.

"I don't want this coming between us Lex. We're a team now." he reminded.

"Too late! This had already come between us Ethan." Jumped from the bed. "I'll use the shower in there." she told him walked from the bedroom into her adjoining bathroom.

Ethan exhaled audibly. Hadn't handled that well at all! He heard the spray of water start. Lexi hadn't locked the bathroom door. He felt the biggest urge to…..he walked from the bedroom quickly. Walked to his own before he made a big mistake. Make that astronomical! He noticed Zoey's door was ajar - she never left her door open! The hair on the back of his neck prickled. He ignored the feeling, she was starting to feel better about being home. Maybe this was her way of getting used to her door being open? Well. He thought walking into his room. At least something was going right in this family for once!

(X)

Zoey came awake slowly. Smelled something vaguely familiar. It was musky. Aftershave, that's what it was. It smelled like…she opened her eyes and everything was black. Her arms and legs were tangled in something and she couldn't move. Something dark was over her face. William was close to her! She could smell him! She fought and somehow freed her arms. She felt the biggest urge to scream for her dad but she probably wasn't at home. He had got her out of there somehow. Plus if he was asleep she didn't wanna wake him! She had got away once before and could do it again! She yanked the black cover from her face and looked around... She was in her own room. What? Her chest was heaving and tears blurred her vision. She saw her bedroom door open slightly. She swiped the tears away. Calm down. Your ok! He doesn't have you Zoey! The scent of his aftershave hung heavy in the air. She looked at what had covered her face and realised it was a black duffel coat. Doused in aftershave. It was then Zoey realised that it was the same coat William wore in winter last year. She tossed it across the room away from her. She began to hyperventilate. The scent and taste of the aftershave filled her nose and mouth. It had a foul pungent taste. It reminded her of the taste of his mouth when he forced himself upon her. Bile rose. She dashed to the bathroom and was loudly violently sick.

Zoey brushed her teeth countless time to force the taste out of her mouth. After the first 5 times she had considered using bleach, toothpaste simply didn't seem to be working. Eventually she felt a little better and walked back to her room. She held her breath and walked in. Hurried over to the window and opened it. Stuck her out and inhaled a deep breath of the clean African air. After hanging out of her window for 20 minutes she hesitantly brought her head inside. Thankfully the smell had dissipated.

"Some sick fucker isn't funny!" she hissed.

She walked over to her wardrobe and opened it. A body flew at her. She saw Williams face and screamed. Closed her eyes and waited for the inevitable. She opened them after no one touched her. She noticed that it wasn't in fact a body but a dummy with a picture of William's face on it. A card with writing on was in the breast pocket of the shirt. She reached out and read it.

_On my way sweet cheeks. If you tell your parents I'll kill them. See you soon ~W_

Her heart stopped beating.

"Zoey?" her mother called. "Are you ok? I heard a scream."

She slammed closed her wardrobe quickly. Her mum appeared at the door and pushed it open.

"Zoey you look really pale. You ok?" her mum walked towards her then pressed her hand to her forehead. "Your hot too."

"I saw a spider mum. I screamed. Got red faced." she lied.

Lexi looked at her. Sniffed the air. "What's that smell?"

"I dunno. I woke up and it was her." Zoey lied again.

"Smells like aftershave. It's not bad actually. Might see if I can get it for your dad. That is if I knew which one it was." Lexi murmured and thought. "Actually that is aftershave a man I work with wears it."

Zoey's eyes widened. Her mother was gonna get her dad THAT aftershave! She can't!

"Zoey." Lexi began.

"I feel sick!" she groaned. Dashed to the bathroom again. Since she was ill earlier there was noting on her stomach so she dry heaved.

"Zoey." Lexi called through the bathroom door.

Zoey washed her mouth out and opened the bathroom door.

"Zoey baby. You want me to get the doctor?"

"I feel really ill mum. Weak." she murmured in reply.

"C'mon sweetie, lets get you to bed."

Can I stay in your room? Please?" Zoey asked softly.

"That's fine." Lexi answered.

"Zoey?" her dad asked approaching. Put his hand on her forehead.

"She's not well Ethan. She's going for a sleep in my room."

"Get well soon baby." he murmured. Touched her cheek softly.

"Thanks dad." she replied.

She was soon in her mum's room. Being lain down. Her mum went to open a window. "NO!" she yelped.

Lexi frowned at her reaction. "It's warm in here Zoey. You sure?"

"I'll be fine mum." she assured lying down. Hid her face in the pillow.

Lexi walked over and dropped a kiss to head. "I'll be in to check on you soon."

Zoey nodded and wrapped her arms around her mum's pillow. She thought she could smell her dad on the pillow but the moment was fleeting. Her mum walked out and she looked around. There were pictures everywhere. Mostly of her and EJ at various stages in their lives. As babies, toddlers. And now. There were a few of her mum and dad. When they got married, and other happy times. The one that drew her was one taken long before she was born. Her parents had to be about 15 maybe 16. Her dad had his arm around her mothers waist they were looking at the camera smiling. For some reason she couldn't tear her eyes away from it. They looked so happy. So young. No worries. Not like now. They must worry about her all the time coz of what happened. Probably wished they hadn't had her occasionally. She was starting to wish that. If she wasn't here then she wouldn't be traumatised by William. Maybe the best thing for her to do would be to go. She hated this uncertainty. Always worrying that William was gonna come and steal her from her life and imprison her again. She exhaled and closed her eyes.

(X)

Zoey slept fitfully. Tossed and turned. Soaked with sweat. Her cheeks stained with tears that fell. The images she saw were dark and confusing. William flashed in front of her eyes. She couldn't move. Couldn't scream. He appeared then disappeared. Everywhere she turned he was there.

She opened one bleary eye. Tried to sit up.

"Lie down Zoey." her mum's voice coaxed.

Zoey couldn't see. Her eyes were open but they were unfocused and blurry. She felt soft hands lay her back down.

"Mum, can't see you." Zoey murmured.

"I'm here." Lexi promised.

Tears leaked down her face. "He did that to me." a sob burst out. "When he almost killed me….."

Lexi's hand rushed to her face to hide her gasp.

"I heard your voices, yours and dads and EJ's." Zoey inhaled sharply. "I thought for a second he let me go….it was a video on my phone." her voice broke and she sobbed her heart out. "You weren't there and I thought you were! He loved…..messing with me like that! I know my mum's not here William!" she screamed.

"Zoey mum is here." Lexi put her hand on Zoey's cheek. "Feel that? A mothers hand. Softest thing you will ever feel."

Zoey's tears subsided. She nodded slightly.

"Open your mouth for me a little baby." she coaxed.

Zoey did. Something cold and wet was on her tongue.

"Ice chips." her mum told her. "Sleep now you'll be fine in no time."

Lexi sat and stroked her daughters hair. Meanwhile Zoey fell into a deep sleep.

(X)

Lexi walked from the room. Anger coursing through her. She had to calm herself down before she went back in there. Zoey couldn't see her like this. She might think it's her fault. She stomped into the kitchen saw a glass sitting innocently on the table. Better then nothing! Picked it up and threw it full force off a wall. It hit and exploded in a shower of shards. She clenched her fists and raised it. Ready to hit it. Anything to release this feeling.

"Lex calm down." Ethan murmured in her ear. In a soft voice. She felt strong hand on her upper arms. She was being turned.

"Do you realise what that bastard did to our daughter? How he toyed with her?"

Ethan frowned.

"She told me that he almost killed her once."

Ethan's fists clenched. "He what?" his arms twitched.

"That's not the best bit. He played a home video for her. Off her phone, the 3 of us. She thought he brought her home."

His eyes darkened.

"She said he loved messing with her like that!"

"Right I've had enough of this! I'm going to find him!" he fumed pacing.

Lexi's stomach dropped.

"I'm gonna find him and I swear I'll kill him for what he's done to her. I've restrained it for the last month Lex but that is the final straw I can't handle the stuff I know and not sort it out!"

"Ethan no!" she pleaded.

"I found her Lex. I'll find him too. He's not getting away with this any longer!"

"Don't Ethan. Let the police deal with him."

"The police? What are they going to do? They couldn't find her!" he seethed.

"Ethan. She needs you. Here at home. EJ does too. You can't abandon him like that again. It isn't fair. Just stay. Please!" she whispered.

Ethan looked at Lex. Saw her face. The fear in her eyes. He nodded. "I'll stay." She was right. It wasn't fair to leave EJ again.

"Thanks. I'm gonna go phone Amie. I always give her an update on a Monday. Keep an ear open for Zoey will you."

"I will." and walked into the room his daughter slept in.

**A/N ok i sorta misled you, let you think that it was William coming...that wasn't him then BUT is he on his way? has samuel told him about zoey? keep reading this goes furthur...poor zoey though it really deosn't get easier. thanks for reading x**


	68. Exclusion

Amie was sat in a briefing room at London. Checked her watch. Time was ticking on. She surveyed the people around her. She was the only woman here, was she surprised? No to be honest. Her arms were crossed and she was chewing gum. She was in the centre of the table 3 men around her.

"So Lucky, when you gonna agree to go out with me?" Sparky asked. They were both new to this group. The other 3 men knew each other already.

"I'll be in touch Sparky." she patted his arm. "Just don't hold your breath."

Lucky was her new nickname. Apparently they decided to christen her lucky coz she was lucky to be alive after Borneo. She wasn't arguing about that. Sparky was Sparky coz he was a whiz with the electrics.

She looked at her watch again. "What's holding this thing up?" she hissed.

Sitting still waiting before a mission always made her edgy. Especially with the team leader missing. After Rob she had trust issues with superiors. If he could do that then anyone could.

"Someone new is heading our team. I have called us Alpha one. Apparently this guy is going over our files with a fine tooth comb."

"We aren't Alpha one Sparkly." she told him. Even though they were they were all the best. The arrogance in the room was immense, almost suffocating. Amie didn't join in with the self bigging up. She didn't need to. Hogey was the worst. He tells everyone he is the best…..he hadn't met her yet!

Sparky grinned cockily. "Yes we are Alpha One, coz I'm here."

Amie rolled her eyes.

"They are apparently sending us on a suicide mission." he told her. Rubbed his hands together. "I hope they give me plastic explosives this time. Boom boom bombs."

Amie grinned. "My favourite type of mission. I just love coming back and proving them wrong!"

Sparky stared at her. "You're a woman. Your supposed to be scared."

Amie raised her eyebrows. "I have no fear of anything." Except losing her family but she kept that quiet.

"Everyone does." Sparky retorted. "Heights, spiders."

"No to heights, I fly planes. No to spiders I grew up on a game reserve. Any fear you might have of creepy crawlies dies a swift death or you do." she chuckled.

"You not even scared of dying?"

"Not really. I lost my mother at 6 years old. Again I lived on a game reserve and my dad is a vet. I saw death up close and personal every day." she shrugged. "Your born, you live you die. Try to make a mark in between. No one lives forever."

Sparky laughed. "We really need to change your name Luck. Like maybe to Phil. As in philosopher."

"I refuse to take a mans name again!" she laughed and pushed him.

"You look like a Trev though!" he shoved her back.

"That is the ONLY time I have hated my dad's name."

"Is your dad called Trev too?" he joked.

"His surname. Trevanion! God. Those sparks must have fried your brain!"

They heard the door swing open. "Finally! Let's get this show on the road." she muttered.

She turned and paled as a familiar face walked in.

"Luck you see someone you know?" Sparky whispered.

"Shut up Sparky!"

Tom walked in and surveyed the group. Passed over her. He walked to the head of the table.

Amie slouched back in her seat nonchalantly. Inside though all she could think was - NO freaking WAY!

"Right everyone." Tom began loudly. "My name is Tom Benson. Your new team leader."

"Hey you were in Borneo with Lucky weren't you?" Chopa called out.

"HE was the lucky one, not me!" Amie said with a cocky smile. Stared straight at Tom.

He stared back unflinchingly.

"Next time don't interrupt me Wilson." he hissed. Returned to the matter at hand. "First things first I want you all to have beepers." he was all business, didn't look at Amie. "He opened the box on the table and handed it to Sparky. "You all need to be on call at all times. Day or night."

"Just another way for lucky to keep in touch with me." Sparky grinned.

Amie grinned. "In your dreams."

"This isn't the schoolyard children!" Tom boomed. Glared at Sparky.

Amie bit her tongue. Stopped herself from telling him to get on with it. HE was dragging this out. Tom looked at her and she could swear he read her mind.

"Right, our first mission is an extraction."

The team all exhaled. Extractions were easy.

"This is supposed to be hard! Why send us in on an extraction?" Hogey asked.

Tom tossed them all a handout.

Sparky whistled. "This place is a fortress."

Amie stared at the pictures. Looked for possible entry and exit points. The cogs turned quickly. She could get in here no problem.

"There are dogs and guards. Lights you name it. Security is beyond tight. An agent has been in deep cover in there for over 2 years, she has collected all the evidence she needs and wants to get herself and a child out."

"Child?" Amie spoke up frowning. "There is no mention of a child in here!"

"The man we are after is the leader of a money laundering syndicate. He has a 12 year old daughter. His relationship with her is….unhealthy. The agent refuses to leave her there."

Amie froze. "The kid come's out first!" Amie declared.

"We need the agent and the proof." Tom told her. "If we get that then her dad goes down and she's safe."

"What about the kid?" Amie asked. "If he escapes with her?"

Tom just knew this was gonna happen. Amie had always been outspoken. "Quiet Trevanion!" he barked.

She bit her tongue.

"Ok people here's what we're gonna do. Johnson. You are on electrics. Get in and take them down."

"My speciality." Sparky grinned.

"Dogs and guards?" Chopa asked.

"The dogs are being drugged with laced meat. Luckily for us the leader doesn't feed them much. Figures it makes them more vicious."

They nodded.

"The guards you ill have to take out. Preferably not killed but…" Tom trailed off. "You'll all see your initials by an entry point. This is what we…"

"I'm not on here!" Amie interrupted.

"We'll talk…."

"Your not taking me are you?" Amie spat.

"You aren't needed." Tom conceded

"I'm not needed?" Amie asked incredulous. Slammed the sheet down. "Include me or I storm this place by myself!" she warned.

"Do that and you jeopardise the mission!"

"YOUR jeopardising this mission by not including me! I'm in this group coz I'm quiet. This is an extraction. I'm the best at getting in and out if places. YOU know that better then most!"

Tom was aware that everyone was staring at them. "We will discuss this at the end Trevanion." he told her.

"You bet we will!" she hissed.

"Your 5 seconds from being charged with insubordination. One more word and I'll remove you!"

She again stopped a short retort from emerging. She glared at him darkly for the rest of the meeting. Her anger grew with every second that passed.

(X)

The meeting finally drew to a close. As the men filed out Amie stayed seated. Arms crossed.

"You can leave Trevanion." Tom suggested.

"No freaking way! Your gonna tell me why you saw fit not to include me!"

"Because you aren't needed." he said simply.

"You undermined me in front of them!" she yelled. "I'm the only woman in this group and you leave me behind on our first mission. I suppose you want tea and sandwiches made for your return too huh?"

"If that's what you want to do…."

"Don't patronise me Tom!"

"That's Boss or Benson to you!" he retorted.

"So that is why then?" she asked.

"You aren't needed. Go home. Visit your family."

"You've been talking to my dad haven't you?" she seethed.

"No."

"So this is personal then? I knew it! Just coz I don't return your feelings your taking it out on me at work. Real professional!" she shouted.

"No." he told her simply.

"Don't lie to me Tom."

"It has nothing to do with that!" he yelled losing his temper.

"Get me in there or I go in alone. And you know I'll do it!" she warned. "I'll go in and get the kid coz I know she won't be a priority for you."

"Do that and I'll have you kicked out of this group so quick your head will pin. Maybe even the SAS."

"Do that and I'll tell them about us." she retorted. "I'll have nothing to lose. But you will!"

"You think I'm bothered if I get kicked out over that?" he asked. "That never mattered to me you did!"

She dropped her head and exhaled. "You can use me." put her hand on her hips. "You know you can. I'm good." she told him after looking up.

He crossed his arms.

"C'mon Tom we work well together."

He frowned.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you." she whispered. "That was never my intention. All I did was tell you the truth." well except that she loved him too. Crazily.

He exhaled and removed the map from his bag. Unrolled it on the desk. She walked over and stood in front of him. He was behind her peering over her shoulder. He pointed to a secluded spot.

"You go in there ok. I'll tell the team your going in for the kid."

She nodded.

"It's your job to get the kid. Make sure she doesn't scream."

Amie nodded.

"Her room is beside her fathers." he elaborated.

"Ok." she replied

"The meeting point is here. As you know a van will be waiting. Be warned bullets may be flying."

"I understand." she told him.

"Any questions?"

"No just a request. Make sure they keep radio contact to me at a minimum. If I'm so near to his room."

"Will do." he promised.

She turned and finally realised how close they were. Almost touching. Her heart stuttered and her breath caught. He stepped back.

"We're leaving in a few hours." he told her.

"I'll be ready." walked from her room on shaky legs. Close proximity to him rattled her.

**A/N time to see Amie in action :) x**


	69. In Action

Amie walked towards the helicopter. Her face was smeared with black face paint and she wore the same as the men. Black t-shirt, trousers and shoes. On top of her top was a bullet proof vest. Heavy and awkward but essential on a mission like this. She looked over and saw the rest of her team were already there. She sauntered over taking her time. When they noticed her all the men froze in shock. She grinned cockily.

"Hey Lucky what doing here?" Hogey asked.

"Need to know basis boys." she told them.

"What? As in boss took you over the desk and you get what you wanted?" Hogey sniggered.

Amie stiffened and spun. "You wanna rethink that statement?" she hissed in warning.

"Hey Amie I'm sorry if he wasn't any good." Hogey goaded.

Her eyes narrowed more and she felt anger begin to fill her.

"I mean c'mon look at your face he obviously didn't satisfy you. Maybe if I show you a good time you'll feel better. How about it? Could you handle a real man?"

Amie saw red. Sparky grabbed her before she launched at Hogey.

"Careful Spark. You never know what she might have you doing! Then again you ant that don't you? I wouldn't be having bosses leftovers!" Hogey said and laughed.

"Fuck you Hogey!" Sparky spat. "Calm down Amie! C'mon!" He called her by her name. She knew it was bad then. Still she strained against him needing to get to Hogey.

"Your out of order Hogey!" Chopa told him.

"You all know it's true!" Hogey declared. "How else is she here?"

All her team looked at her. Even Sparky released her and looked sheepish. Oh fucking great! Tom was dead!

She crossed her arms and stewed in silence til Tom arrived. She wanted to pound him into the dirt but she knew if she did Tom would leave her behind. Nothing was stopping her when they were finished though!

"Right team ready?" Tom asked jovially walking towards them.

The men nodded. Amie didn't even look at him.

They climbed inside the chopper and it took off.

"Right you all have your assigned missions. Radio contact to Trevanion must be kept to a minimum."

"Why you gonna be screwing her then too?" Hogey laughed.

"I'VE HAD ENOUGH!" Amie yelled. Dived from her seat across to Hogarth and punched him twice on the jaw. "Say something to me now!" Amie snarled.

Sparky and Tom pulled her off him.

"What the hell was that Trevanion?" Tom spat.

"You go to hell too!" she shouted to Tom.

"You never speak….." Tom began.

"O did I forget the sir?" she asked sarcastically.

"Trevanion…." Tom began when Hogey interrupted him.

"Look boss, we all know how she got on this mission!" Hogey glared at Amie. "And as soon as this is over I'm gonna demand she and you be kicked out for misconduct."

"I'll misconduct you!" Amie fumed and went to dive again. Sparky stopped her.

"Actually sir on HE thinks that." Mouse said. Unusually quiet for a 6 foot man and with his surname being Trapp mouse was his nickname.

Amie crossed her arms desperately trying to calm herself.

"BOTH of you are going to be sorted when we get back." Tom warned.

"She'll have it easier then me. All she'll have to do it lie on her back!" Hogey told Tom pointedly.

Tom had Hogey against the wall of the chopper in a second. "One more remark like that and I'll chuck you off this mission!" Tom warned. "And straight out of this group as well. We all need to trust each other! The reason you are here is coz you are all the best and have individual strengths. You were all hand picked for that reason alone! She is going in to get the girl out. I'd rather she looked at a friendly face then yours!" Tom seethed then released him. "Keep the comments to yourself. You're the one being unprofessional not her!"

Hogey looked between Amie and Tom darkly.

(X)

The chopper landed in a field and they walked through it quietly. All of the previous problems were forgotten as they got to work. The darkness had came quickly they all had their mic's on. They approached some trees and walked through them.

"Right." Tom said on a breath. "Sparky is dealing with the electrics You have 3 minutes to get to your areas. When you hear my signal go. I'd wish you luck but I know you don't need it." he told them cockily. Then he nodded telling them to go.

All 5 people blended into the darkness. The night was completely quiet. Amie moved stealthily through the trees and undergrowth. She made her body as fluid and loose as possible. Breathed quietly through her mouth. As the trees became denser she crouched, finally reached her spot and hid in the bush. She took in every aspect of her surroundings. Every tree, bush, path and grass. Made sure she knew if there were stones or twigs. She couldn't afford to be sloppy. Sloppy meant dead. She saw her entry point. Drain pipe. It looked pretty sturdy.

"Everyone ready?" Tom came over her headphones.

An array on taps on the microphone meant an affirmative. She tapped too. Anticipation filled her. No nerves or fear. Just adrenaline. She'd crash later like she always did but at the moment it pumped through her veins hot and fast.

'_I'm right here Ames'_ she heard her mother in her head.

Amie smiled in the darkness. Kept her eyes staked out for any movement. Listened intently for noises around her.

3 clicks sounded in the headphones. Sparky had done his thing, in others words - do it!

(X)

Amie sat for a moment after hearing the clicks. Listening intently. She knew not to rush in. Patience was an integral part of this job. When she was certain she heard nothing she moved from her hiding place soundlessly. Whipped into the shadow of the house. She was about to begin to climb when she saw a yellow beam coming around the corner.

'_Guard!'_ her mum warned.

'I know don't worry!' Amie answered silently. Blended back into the shadows. The guard walked slowly. Wasn't checking the walls too closely. He should have done better then this. Amie resisted the urge to grin, his sloppiness was her gain! He walked straight passed her. Inches literally separated them. After he had passed Amie walked up behind him and hit him at the base of the skull. He was out for the count. She tied his hands with plastic box wrapping. Pulled him so he was hidden in some trees. After that she grasped the drain pipe and moved it. Nodded and began to climb.

'Dunno how much longer the electric are gonna be down. Backup systems are starting to kick in!' Sparky warned. 'Get in and out guys!'

She stopped and tapped her mic once. Received.

'Target acquired.' Mouse came over her headphones.

Brill. They had the proof and the agent!

Amie was at a window turned her head and hit it hard once with her elbow. Glass splintered to the floor and she climbed in. Found herself in a bathroom, the biggest one she had ever seen. This was bigger than 3 rooms in Leopards Den, put together! She disregarded it and moved swiftly, pressed her ear against the door. No sound. Opened it and began to walk….when an alarm sounded loud and shrill. All the lights came on.

'Move move move!' Tom urged over her headphones.

'I'm working on this boss but these are unknown backups!' Sparky spat.

Dammit! The first thing Andreev was gonna do was get his daughter. She ran to a room and burst into a room. Walked over to a four poster bed and put her hand over a child's mouth gently.

"I'm Louise's friend. I'm gonna get you out." Amie whispered. "Don't scream ok?"

The child nodded vigorously.

"Be really quiet." Amie whispered.

She nodded again. Then her eyes widened.

'_Duck Amie!' _her mother warned.

Amie pushed the child across the bed and spun, as she did she ducked and aimed a punch directly behind her. A heavy metal ornament whizzed passed her head. She winded the man who tried to hit her. He was bent double. She knew who this was and if she had the time she would gladly give him the pasting of his life…but she had a responsibility to the little girl. Before the man could blink she had her arms wrapped around his neck and jerked it. His eyes turned glazed and he fell to the floor.

"He's not dead." Amie assured the child helped her put of the bed.

"Target acquired moving out." Amie told them calmly. "C'mon." Amie told the girl.

The child grabbed a bag from her wardrobe. "Louise told me to pack it."

Amie grinned. "Your good kid!"

The child beamed at the praise.

Loud gunshots pierced the air. The child jumped and squealed. Poor kid! Amie thought. She was completely unprotected. Without thinking she unstrapped her vest and lifted it off. Placed it over the girl and strapped it as tightly as she could.

"Here, it's heavy but it'll keep you safe."

"Thank you." the child whispered and wrapped it around herself. Amie felt a moment of worry when she realised that all she had was her black t-shirt. Better her then a kid though! She was strong and could handle it... she hoped. Amie couldn't think like that at the moment. She grabbed the child's hand and began to hurry down the corridor with her. "Don't listen to anything but my voice. I know the bullets are scary but I won't let them hurt you ok!" Amie told her and dashed into the bathroom. Picked the girl up and asked her to hang onto to her back.

"Wrap your legs around my waist!" Amie told her. The girl did as she was told. Amie climbed up onto the windowsill and rattled the drainpipe. It was fine so she began to climb out of the window. Without warning the drain pipe began to rattle and wobble precariously.

"Keep perfectly still!" Amie declared loudly.

Amie was nervous for the first time. Her feet were braced on the wall and her hands were holding the window sill. Any sudden movements could cause them both to fall. Amie began to slowly move trying to climb inside the window without jostling the pipe too much. As they got through the pipe fell down with an almighty crash. 3 men came running looked up and saw her face in the window. They aimed their guns up and shot at her.

Shit! she thought inwardly then shot a cocky reassuring grin at the kid. They heard footsteps. Amie picked up the girl and placed her in the tub. "Keep down and quiet! The bullets won't penetrate the porcelain. Your safe!"

The girl did as she was told. As the door opened she covered her ears. She could still hear the scuffling of feet and heavy laboured breathing.

(X)

"Bastard!" Amie spat and elbowed the guy who just nearly knocked her head off. He didn't half impact her face…..and now she was angry. She head butted him hard and punched him hard in the throat. He gurgled and fell she stomped on his head and knocked him out. Then exhaled she always got the 'best jobs' she thought dryly. Approached the tub and looked over at the girl. She looked up at Amie.

"We need to move quickly and quietly. They know that my people are in but they shouldn't know I'm here for you. Stay low and move as fast as you can ok!" Amie told her urgently.

'Report Trevanion!' she heard Tom say over her headphones.

"Sorta busy!" she replied.

"Your doing really well you know." Amie encouraged. The girl looked slightly buoyed by her words.

They left the bathroom and head for the stairs. Amie had no problem getting out. She had the plans to the house memorised. She might be slightly dyslexic but pictures she could deal with no problem. Memorised them no probs. The girl gave Amie a small smile.

Amie smiled back. "We'll be fine." she promised and grasped her hand moved quickly. They heard people screaming. Amie stayed focused. They reached the stairs. The little girl had held her own. Didn't complain about the pace Amie went. Amie was conscious of the fact she was young and had actually slowed down for her. They dashed down the stairs and were at the front door. Amie looked outside and saw her people involved in a gun fight with Andreev's people. Directly in front of her. If they went out that way no doubly she would end up shot. She was about to turn when a door opened behind her and a man appeared with a gun. Her stomach dropped. She picked the girl up again. "Head down!" she barked and without thinking ran outside.

Amie knew she was a moving target. The man behind her was raising his gun as she ran out. A bullet whizzed passed her head. She ducked, Christ they were coming from every angle!

She caught Tom's eyes and saw him go deathly pale. 'Trevanion…..Dammit Amie! Don't run into gunfire!' she heard Tom yell. then she saw him raise hi gun and shot the guy behind her.

She ran in a zig zag fashion. Her arms wrapped around the girl tightly. She was reaching the bushes when Amie felt an impact. felt her body jerk. She had one final burst of energy and tossed the girl in the bush. Amie immediately fell to the floor.

**A/N sorry about the lack of update recently. i completed Katies bday chapter then was messing on with my comp and ended up doing a wild at heart fan vid :D**


	70. Hurt?

**A/N I don't think I mentioned it but the little girl is 8. X**

(X)

Amie lay on the ground for a second then picked her self up. Took her helmet off. Looked and saw a bullet embedded in there.

"Phew, that was too close!" she whispered. Rubbed her head and put the helmet back on. That had freaking hurt!

"He shot you?" the girl squeaked.

"No blood I'm fine." Amie promised. "Are you hurt?" Amie checked her over quickly.

"No." the child answered voice shaking.

"You want a hug?" Amie asked. Sensing the girl needed comfort.

The child looked at the floor and nodded slightly. Amie wrapped her inn her arms. The child hugged her back. Amie's heart was pounding, they had both been extraordinarily lucky then. She was sure that herself at least was gonna be hit. The child pulled away and wiped her eyes.

"This is the last bit ok. You'll be safe in no time I promise. I just need you to be brave for a little bit longer."

The girl nodded solemnly.

"Good girl." Amie grinned. "Right we're gonna go on that grass over there." Amie pointed. Run on your toes if you can. Stay at my side. If you see someone in front go behind me. If there's someone behind go in front."

The girl nodded. "I'm ready." she whispered.

"Let's go." Amie said determination filled her tone. "Report!' Amie barked into her mic.

'Mouse and Chopa are back. Just you, boss and Hogey." Sparky told her.

"I'm en route with my young charge. ETA 3 minutes."

She held the girls hand tightly and they ran across the grass. Unseen. She arrived as expected. Lifted the girl into the van then looked around. "Boss?"

"He's on his way. No contact from Hogey. All we get is static." Mouse told her seriously.

Amie thought for a second. "Right get Louise out of here with the evidence and the kid when Boss gets here."

"Who put you in charge?" Chopa asked.

"I did!" She replied.

"Since when?" he retorted.

"Since I came in here and saw you sat on you as…butt instead of out there finding Hogey!" she cut off the swear word as the child was wrapped in Louise's arms.

Chopa had no answer for that. The look in her eye's had him backing off.

"I'm going back out there for Hogey!"

"But…." Sparky spluttered.

"I don't leave my team behind! I'll even go back for an as….idiot like Hogey!" she told him.

They nodded. They could tell there would be no dissuading her.

"Last known location?"

They pointed the spot on the map. That was 10 minutes ago. He could be long gone."

She wiggled her eyebrows. "I'll find him." her face turned serious. "When they are safe come back here." she pointed. "Me and Hogey will be waiting."

"Amie!" Sparky warned. "We have no clear idea of where he is!"

"We NEVER leave anyone behind simple!" Amie spat. She picked up the vest the child had discarded. "You're a good soldier kid!" ruffled her hair then stood up straight and saluted.

Louise's eyes filled with tears. The young girl smiled and gave a small salute back. Amie gave the girl a final smile.

She pulled the vest on. Sparky came to speak to her. "Your right. Your not scared of anything." Sparky whispered.

She winked then jumped from the van and disappeared.

5 minutes later Tom arrived. Looked around.

"Trevanion and Hogarth?"

Sparky and mouse looked uncomfortable.

"We still have no word on Hogey." Sparky said.

"Trevanion?" it was then he saw the girl. "Where is she?"

Chopa put the van in gear and sped off.

"Where are you going?" Tom bellowed.

The little girl cowered and Louise glared at him.

"She'll hurt me." Chopa said simply.

"Huh?" Tom asked.

"Lucky said that when you got here to take the people to safety then come back for her and Hogey. She sorta went back for him." Chopa called back.

"I'm in charge here!" Tom hissed.

"Yeah but she scares me." Chopa told him.

"Get back there NOW!" Tom warned.

(X)

Amie moved on soundless feet through the grounds. All her sense hyper alert to every sound or movement. She was on edge. Had a feeling that something bad was gonna happen.

_Amie take care of yourself. If anything happens to you your dad will be in pieces.' _her mum told her.

Amie silenced her mothers voice. She needed focus. This feeling was unsettling her. She never felt it before. It all seemed to be too quiet. She didn't like it! She carried on hiding in the bush as she went, saw Hogey's broken mic across the lawn. Hogey was close. She could feel it. It was then she heard fighting. She hurried up, Hogey could be in trouble. Amie finally came into a clearing and saw Hogey trying to fight off 4 men. He looked battered, and tired. She didn't like his odds. He was obviously running on empty. She crept on ahead until she was behind his attackers.

She moved like lightning and sprung out. Took one man out with a blow to the head before he even knew what was happening. Hogey used the distraction to his advantage and took out one of the other men. That left 2 on 2. An even fight. She ducked as an elbow came swinging towards her. The man turned unexpectedly through and rugby tackled her. They went sprawling to the dirt, he had the advantage being above her. She punched him a few times and he hit her. The man Hogey was fighting roared with pain and her opponent looked, last mistake he'd make! She grabbed his head, spun and bashed it off the ground hard. He was out if it. She got up. Dusted herself off.

"Lucky?" Hogey asked incredulous.

"Yeah I came for you." she answered. "And we both know I haven't slept with you!" she readjusted her mic. "Sparky come in."

"Lucky?" Sparky yelped.

"Hogey is here. A little hurt but mostly fine. We're making our way to the new checkpoint."

"Your in deep trouble Trevanion." Tom warned.

Amie smiled. "If I'm already in trouble I'll guess I'll say bite me Tom!" she answered. Heard chuckling from the rest of her team. Moved her mic. "C'mon we're exposed here, we're getting….."

As Amie turned a gunshot pierced the air. Amie felt her body begin forced backwards. She stumbled back and fell. She felt a sharp pain on her stomach and ribs. She rolled so she was on her stomach and lifted so her knees were on the ground. Panted. Rested her head against the damp grass. Another gun shot rang out and Hogey was above her.

"Amie?" he asked.

She was inhaling deeply.

"That was a high calibre weapon Amie." he warned. "Did it pierce your vest?"

"C'mon." Amie said getting up. The single word sounded strangled. "The vest took it." she wasn't too sure if that statement was true. Her stomach was burning. The blended into the darkness and were at the point on no time. Amie resisted the urge to bend double. She had to prove she was as strong as any man. No weakness at all! She focused her mind to block the pain. "They'll be here soon." Amie told Hogey. They sat in the shelter of quiet trees.

"You should have left me." Hogey told her.

"Would you have left me?" she asked. Saw the truth in his eyes.

She smiled. "Good thing I'm not you then isn't it?"

"Why though?" he asked.

Coz she was loyal to her team. Coz she didn't want anyone to get hurt who didn't need to. Which was why she hadn't killed any guards. Just knocked them out. No way was she being that soppy with him though. She turned on the cockiness. "Coz now you owe me Hogey" she said triumphantly. Pulled her vest over her head.

"Whoa!" he said.

She looked at him. Trust me I'm not that desperate!" she drawled. "Like you said me and Boss….."

"Look Amie about that….." Hogey looked uncomfortable.

She shook her head. "I DO have a sense of humour you know."

"You can't tell." he told her smiling.

She rolled her t-shirt up expecting to see blood pouring from her stomach.

"The vest took it at least." Hogey said.

"It still freaking burns!" she moaned. "Second time I've been shot today!"

It was then he saw the little hole in the middle of her helmet. "Christ your name is right. You are lucky!" he declared.

"Lucky by name. Lucky by nature." she retorted and put her vest back on.

"Trevanion come in." Tom came over the radio.

"Trevanion here. We're in place waiting." Amie advised.

"Take cover. We're gonna blow the wall."

They moved, there was an explosion and a shower of debris. They went over and crawled through the hole. Were ushered in the van and on their way.

"What happened Hogey?" Tom asked.

"I was ambushed by 6 men. My mic got smashed."

He glanced at Amie who winced as she pulled her vest back off.

Tom frowned. "Am…..Trevanion." he asked.

"She was shot boss." Hogey told him.

Tom stood up. Fear filled him. "What? Where?"

"The vest took it!" Amie hissed. "My stomach just hurts that's all."

"Your going to hospital. The shot could have ruptured anything."

Amie glared at him. "Is that an order?"

"Yes!" he demanded.

Amie rolled her eyes. "I'll go AFTER debriefing. Not before!" and that was all she said on the matter.

(X)

An hour later they were sat in the debriefing room. All dirty tired and hungry. It was 3am. Amie had her arm wrapped around her stomach. Tom kept looking at her worriedly. He then shook his head.

"I want to congratulate you all on a job well done."

Everyone smiled. High fives were exchanged.

"The girl is in protective custody. Louise is being debriefed by her supervisors and Andreev was found unconscious in his daughters room."

The men looked at Amie who grinned. "You don't mess wi lucky if you wanna live." she drawled.

"He is speeding towards his jail cell on child molestation, rape and money laundering charges. So we did good. And we didn't lose anyone." he resisted the urge to look at Amie as he said that. "All of you are on call but I can assure you, you won't be contacted for a day or two so relax. Good job."

Everyone got up.

"Trevanion and Hogarth." he demanded.

They exhaled and stayed seated.

He looked between them, choosing his words. "2 of my best people can't be fighting. Your head and shoulders above the rest. I don't want to lose either of you."

"We're sorted." Hogey assured.

Tom nodded. "As for you comments Hogarth."

Hogey exhaled.

"I'm putting a sanction in your record. One more and your out!" Tom told him. "Dismissed!" Tom looked at Amie. "Trevanion I need to talk to you about insubordination among other things."

Amie shook her head. This is what she got for doing a good thing!

"Don't be too hard on her boss." Hogey asked.

Tom looked between Amie and Hogey. Amie was slouched in her chair looking disinterested. Hogey though, he saw something in Hogey's eyes he didn't like. Felt an emotion stir in his chest. Frowned and crossed his arms too.

As soon as Hogey was gone he looked at Amie. Needed detachment. Thought of the way she hurt him. Much better! "Trevanion you shouldn't…."

"Amie." she said looking at him. "Don't call me Trevanion." she asked shaking her head. "We're more than that to each other. Much more." she added the final words in a whisper.

He rubbed his jaw and exhaled. "Fine Amie, what were you thinking?" the emotion had returned at the look in her eyes and her soft heartfelt words.

"I was getting him off my back. He thinks the only reason I'm there is coz I slept with you!"

"I heard." he hissed angrily.

"Now he knows why I'm there. He respects me as a person. As an equal!"

Tom nodded. "Don't do it again Amie. You….." he bit back that she scared the life outta him. "How's the stomach." he added.

"Sore." she admitted.

"I'll drive you to hospital." he offered.

"I can…"

Tom grinned. "Firstly you can't drive in that condition and second I know you. You won't go."

She looked at the desk. "They'll ask about the…." she faltered and frowned. "I have scars Tom." she whispered. She knew he knew about them.

He sat opposite her. "Is it still bothering you?" he asked softly taking her hand.

She still had the odd nightmare. It was impossible to forget. "No I'm over it." she lied.

"I knew you'd say that. You never show weakness. It still bothers me too. C'mon we'll take you to hospital then I'll take you home."

She exhaled and nodded.

"I'm sorry I didn't include you." Tom told her. "Your good."

"I'm the best." she countered and smiled a small smile at him.

He stood up and offered his hand to help her up. She looked at it then got up herself.

"Let's go." she told him dryly.


	71. Admission

Amie walked from the room unaided, clutched her stomach as she walked down the corridor. She saw Tom's face. He was battling internally whether or not to pick her up and carry her.

"You dare!" she warned. "I'd hate to have to embarrass you."

He grinned. "I can hold my own."

She raised her eyebrows.

"Even with me injured you couldn't take me!" she laughed.

He didn't answer, simply offered his arm. She declined.

They sat in silence as he drove her to hospital. He swing into the car park and was out of the car beside her door in seconds. Then he helped her from the car escorted her inside. Stayed while she gave her details.

"You can go now Tom." she told him. Something in her voice told him to stay.

"I'll go if you want me to." he said. "Do you?"

She frowned shook her head slightly. "Stay." she whispered.

He nodded and sat beside her. He waited outside while she was taken inside. He paced worried about her. The doctor passed him 10 minutes later. He walked into her room.

"So?" he asked.

"Bad bruising." she gloated "You worry too much!"

He nodded. "I was thinking outside while I waited…."

"I knew I could smell burning."

He made a face at her. "No its just…you were right I let my feelings get in the way."

She smiled. "I knew you did. You're a protector."

He laughed a little. She knew him well. "But you don't need protection do you?"

She shook her head. "I never have."

"It's one of the things I lo…" Tom trailed off. Looked at the floor.

The doctor walked back in. "Your fine Miss Trevanion. Take it easy for the next few days."

She motioned to Tom. "He's my boss. He'll make sure of it!"

"I have some pain killers here."

She smiled. "Heaven." took 2 with some water.

"They are strong, they will make you drowsy and affect your co-ordination."

"Now you tell me." she muttered.

"C'mon Amie." Tom took her arm and led her outside. Settled her in the car. She belted up. Gave him her address. "No stalking me now!"

"I'll try to resist." he promised laughing.

"You know I'll kick your ass anyway."

"Yeah." he replied. Saw her rest her head against the seat and close her eyes. The car was soon filled with her soft slow breathing. He kept lancing at her in the rear view mirror and couldn't deny how beautiful she was.

(X)

Tom arrived at her little house in no time. "Amie." he told her. "Wake up."

She made no noise.

"C'mon Amie I need your keys, I'm not rifling your pockets!" he shook her gently.

She opened her eyes. They were so clear and blue he fell into them. Forgot what he was about to say.

"Huh?" she asked sleepily.

"Home. Keys." he answered with a whisper.

"O." she replied drowsily. Inhaled and climbed from the car. Shuffled her feet over to her house. Searched her pockets for her keys. Found them. Dropped them twice searching for the correct key.

He bent down. "Which one?"

She leant against the wall. Eyes closed. "Silverrrrr." her 'r' was elongated.

He smiled and tried the silver keys the third one he tried was the house key. Walked in and heard beeping.

"1309" she whispered.

He punched in the alarm code.

"Day we met." she murmured eyes still closed.

He frowned.

"You were so handsome in that blue t-shirt and jogging bottoms. I fell over. You were our instructor and I tried to show off. You didn't notice me till I fell over." she said in disgust.

She was wrong. He ignored her coz he HAD noticed her. Their eyes had met when she fell over and he 'd knew then he was a goner! "Ok Ames, the doc's gave you loopy drugs." he muttered.

She stumbled when she went to walk in the house. He moved quickly, caught her and put his arm around her waist. She leaned into him. "I killed Rashid coz he hurt you. I told myself it was for me but I seen you and….." a lone tear fell.

His eyes widened she had never cried in front of him before.

"He'd hurt you so bad and I needed to kill him." she carried on unaware of his shock.

"C'mon Amie." he whispered. Led her in the house. Kicked the door closed behind him. Helped her up the stairs. Saw a room in her favourite colour. Jade green. There was no way he was going I there with her. NO WAY! He was about to release her when she grasped his wrist pulled him towards her and kissed him, heatedly.

He groaned and began to pull away. She held him tightly. God he was only so strong! Kissed her back fully. "You'll regret this in the morning." he said against her lips.

"No I won't." she told him. "I lo…"

He cut her off kissing her deeply. That was all he needed to know.

(X)

_Amie was back in Borneo. In Rashid's torture room. She was tied up tightly. Tom was dragged in and tossed on the floor like a limp dish rag._

"_No." she screamed. Began to fight against her restraints. Kicked and yanked as she saw them torturing Tom. He was on the floor withering in pain unable to defend himself._

'Amie.' she heard. Felt a hand against her face.

_Rashid was in he face in a second. "Watch him die!" Rashid hissed happily. Then she saw a blade glinting menacingly. Her heart stopped as it was plunged straight though Tom's heart._

"_NO TOM!" she cried._

Her eyes were jerked open.

"Amie?" Tom asked. Caressed her face lovingly.

She looked at him and swallowed. Put her hand on her head. She was breathing heavily.

"You ok?" Tom asked.

She nodded.

"You were thrashing all over, murmuring my name and Rashid's."

She exhaled sat up and rubbed her eyes, reached for her water. Her hand was well out. "My co-ordination is still messed up!"

"It's only been two hours." he told her. The clock read 6:46.

"Have you been asleep?" she asked.

He shook his head.

She saw his face. "You were about to leave huh?"

He nodded. "I didn't want a confrontation like last time. Then you started having this bad bad dream and I couldn't leave you."

She looked directly at him. "You should have. I would have woke up eventually." got up to go to the bathroom. Her stomach ached a little.

She hid out in her bathroom for 10 minutes. When she returned he was still sat there.

"I gave you an opening."

"Do you wanna talk?" he asked softly.

"About what?" she spat.

"What we went through?"

"NO!" she said firmly. "I'm over it."

"Seems like it Amie." he retorted. Calmed down. "Have you spoke to anyone?"

"What liked tortured anonymous?" she said sarcastically.

"Why you pushing me away Amie?" he whispered.

She exhaled. "I spoke to a shrink at home who said I was clear for duty."

"Did you tell them anything?"

"I don't have to. It doesn't bother me!" she said defiantly.

He gazed at her. His eyes full of emotion. She walked across and saw opposite him on the bed. They were quiet.

Tom inhaled.

"He had me in this 'play room' for a day." he told her. "It was hell."

She looked at her quilt. "He had me in there for 3." she whispered. Rubbed her eyes.

His eyes widened. "3?"

She nodded. Anger filled her face as she remembered. "Tried to get me to confess to a litany of sins. Expose all these secrets I was supposed to know."

His face was pained. "He just messed with me a little. Didn't use half of the stuff." he admitted.

"Lucky you." she muttered and crossed her arms. "I have a big smart mouth. Gets me in trouble! I passed out after the first 2 days. He carried on as soon as I woke up."

"God Amie, you had it that bad?"

She nodded.

"I was found by rebels on the beach. They were then captured. Rashid thought I was a rebel too. Picked me coz I was the only white man among them. He dislikes white people."

"I was found by soldiers too. I woke up and saw 10 rifles pointed straight at my head. They were gonna kill me, I talked them out of it. BIG MISTAKE! I shoulda just let them shoot me! But no, I persuaded them to let me live and they took me to him. I just had to prove I was strong. That I could stand up to him. After that I was introduced to his play room. He tried to break me. I refused to let him. He tried harder and harder. Physical pain. Mental anguish." she shrugged.

"Amie…" Tom started.

She shook her head. "I've blanked it. I had to, to survive. I killed the main guard. First person I ever killed. I was sick after." shook her head.

"I thought I was gonna die there Amie." he admitted. "Did you?"

"At first I refused to think about it. See I was cocky. I could get out. I was strong and smart. By the third day I wanted him to kill me. That was too merciful for him. You know he learned my tolerance level he'd stop just before I blacked out from pain."

"Christ Amie." he whispered his voice thick with anguish.

She carried on, he wanted to talk. To hear this! "So to answer your question yes I thought I was gonna die but not for a long time yet. Not until after what his guards had planned for me. You know he actually sent someone to search for more men?" she told him simply.

He covered his face. "How can you be so blasé about that? Do you realise….."

"OF COURSE I DO! But thinking about it doesn't help me. It depresses me. I want to have a happy life. Look we can't change what happened can we? You know he cut open my arms and rubbed salt in the wounds? Electrocuted me on a very high voltage. He pulled my teeth out with pliers. What good does talking about that do for me or anyone who hears it? NONE!" she yelled. Put her head back on the headboard and closed her eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to spit that rubbish at you." she whispered after a minute.

"I thought what happened to me was bad." he electrocuted me too on a high voltage. Knocked me out. This was after a going over by his guards and a baseball bat to the head."

They were both silent for a minute.

"You know what did scare me Tom?"

He looked at her.

"That I wasn't strong enough to get us home. I had all this stuff done to me. I killed 2 people getting out of there. You fought me when we had to go thought the play room. Then Rashid was back. By the grace of god we got out of there and then what happened we fell down a cliff face. Luckily not a massive one. I as so exhausted and I needed to get back up constantly. What scared me was that the next time I fell down I might not be able to get up and we'd die. I wasn't bothered about dying at that point but it bothered me that you'd die."

He looked at her. "I'm so sorry Amie. I should have helped you."

"You just being there helped me. I only got home for you." she admitted looking at him.

"Amie….."

"Tom just c'mere and give me a cuddle yeah?"

He smiled. Crawled over and lay down beside her. She pulled the blanket over them. She turned to face him.

"You mean the world to me Amie Trevanion." he whispered. Ran a finger down her forehead, passed her cheek and traced her jaw.

She looked into his eyes. It was past time. "I love you." she told him.

He grinned. "I knew it!"

She rolled her eyes.

"I love you too." he told her.

"I knew it!" she laughed.

"We got problems Amie." he told her.

"Later." she whispered, laid her head against his warm chest.

She got no argument from him.

(X)

Amie was awoke a few hours later by the jingling of her telephone. She disengaged herself from Tom's strong embrace. "I'll be a minute." kissed his lips softly. Grabbed her iphone off her beside table. Her dad! Great!

"Hello dad." she suppressed a yawn.

"Amie, Ryan found a video of you on the net."

"I'm innocent! I swear!" she laughed.

"Amie!" he yelped.

She ran her hand through her hair. "What am I doing?"

"According to the vid saving a young girl. I watched it Amie. They are shooting at you. You ran towards gun fire! And where is your vest? O yes on the girl! God you had to zig zag not to get hit. I swear I saw your head jerk, your helmet got hit didn't it?" he said flustered.

"Christ dad!" she moaned. "Will you just back off please?"

"You ran into gunfire Amie! You gave you vest away!" he repeated.

"Dad I'll call you later I'm shattered. We just got home like 5 hours ago. I love you. Miss and the family too."

She disconnected quickly then turned her phone off. Freaking parents! Climbed back into bed.

"Who was that?" Tom mumbled.

She looked at his tousled hair and eyes which were heavy lidded.

"My dad going into meltdown. Seem there's a vid of us storming that place."

"No doubt a maid sold it to a news company." he yawned.

"So we're not at work today?" she hinted.

"Nope a full day off. Back to the grindstone tomorrow."

She laid back and closed her eyes.

"Amie…."

"Don't ruin this, please." she begged.

"I'm your superior." he said.

"Can't we just not say anything. Get to know each other?" she suggested.

"What if this thing grows?" he asks.

"What if it fizzles out?" she retorted.

"I'm already in deep Amie. I can't send you somewhere you'll get hurt."

"Trust me Tom, please."

"I do I just don't want to lose you!" he stressed.

"You won't. I'm the best." she said cockily. "There is no chance of it."

He rolled his eyes. "Your far too arrogant. Need taken down a peg or two."

"I'd like to see you try." she laughed her face then turned serious. "Look, if this thing between us does grow I'll request a transfer." she promised.

"But you shouldn't…."

"Your worth it ok. I love you." wow she was saying this out loud. How chuffed was she!

"Amie…." he started.

"No more talking about work. You may be the boss at work but we both know who rules the roost at home." she said playfully. "Let's enjoy our day off."

"Yes sir!" he said seriously and kissed her.

**A/N awww amie and tom are togther :) more about zoey next chapter x**


	72. Doubt

**2 Weeks Later**

Zoey was over her illness. Her nerves over William hadn't dissipated, if anything they grew more intense as time passed. Any little noise made her jump out of her skin, she was a nervous wreck. To try and take her mind off it she turned on her laptop. It had taken her 2 weeks to get herself to do this. Worried about the memories this little piece of technology held! She pressed the power button, and it began to whir. The login page loaded, it was password protected. 'Zoey and Swift 4eva' that was the first thing being changed. The very thought of Swift made her sick to the pit of her stomach. She felt sick quite often actually she mused. As the laptop loaded and her home page appeared a picture appeared of her and Swift. It HAD been her favourite picture of them. Although she knew the faces 2 strangers looked at her. She hadn't known Swift, not the real person. She stared at him. How hadn't she noticed how cold his eyes were? Or the forced smile? She had made Swift the person she wanted him to be in her head. She shook her head and looked at the other person on the screen. She looked young and happy, carefree. She had laughing brown eyes and a quick grin. This girl never worried. Never stressed. She had been happy once upon a time. Where was this girl now? Was she ok? Or was she lost forever? Most probably the latter, how could she ever get back to who she used to be? She tried to tell herself last week that she felt better and was getting better but who was she kidding? She sure didn't feel better now, she felt scared. Terrified that William was gonna come and find her. Take her away again.

She shook her head to dispel the thoughts and began to tap on her laptop. Turned on the media player and looked through her music. Nothing she wanted to listen to terribly. Nothing jumped out at her. She just clicked random. She then changed her password and went into her pictures. Deleted every single one of Swift. Trying to erase him from her life wasn't as easy as deleting a few pictures. Why had he did that to her? Why her? There were countless girls there that day, what made him pick her? Was it the way she looked? Should she change it so no one wanted her? She exhaled and clicked on a picture of her family. An old one. She was 12 and EJ was 10. Her parents were sat beside them. She was making a face coz her dad was reminding her mum of a photograph taken when they were kids. She looked at ehr 12 year old self, she wanted to find this girl. She wanted to be normal once again. She put this picture as her screen saver. As she stared at the happy family a thought occurred to her. She had been irrevocably changed by what happened to her, but what about them? Were they changed too?

All these intense thoughts were beginning to stress her out. She loaded up her internet and signed in on her facebook. Zoey Trevanion. She noticed that Jeffy had friend requested her. She smiled a little. A chat box popped up as soon as she confirmed.

"_Hey there." Jeffy typed._

'**Hi' she replied.**

'_How r u?'_

'**Been ill'**

'_I no, I called round 2 c u. c I wnted 2 no if u wnted 2 go out wi me.'_

'**I'm taken.'**

'_Nt accordin 2 ur profile :D'_

'**U gt me. 2 b honest I'm nt lookin 4 a bf atm'**

'_That's fyn. U lookin 4 a best friend?'_

'**I mite b.'**

'W_here do I send my cv lol'_

**'Lol'**

_'U busy 2nite?'_

'**Nt really.'**

'_If u wnt u cud invite me round.'_

'**I cud.'**

'B_t ur nt rite?'_

Zoey thought for a moment. Typed quickly before she lost her bottle. **'Cum if u want. Expect evils frm my parents tho.'**

'_Haha I'll b there in no tym.'_

He suddenly went offline. Zoey felt sad when he left and she had no one to talk to. When she spoke to him she felt normal well like a normal teenage girl talking to a boy. Not that she liked him or anything. She greeted him at the front door 25 minutes later. He was dressed in a blue checky shirt and jeans. He looked really nice she thought. Surprised at herself at the thought. She hadn't noticed boys since she came home.

"No drooling please." he asked when he saw her checking him out.

"You wish." she laughed.

They sat in the corner. "You look nice too." he whispered at her jeans and t-shirt.

She frowned. "This is something I pulled on. Nothing special."

He raised his eyebrows. If she looked this good without trying he wondered what she would be like when she did! Bit back the thought. They were only friends.

"You want anything? A drink?" she asked.

He shook his head. An awkward silence fell.

"Look, before we start….." she began. He deserved to know what he was getting into being her friend.

He shook his head. "I know." was all he said. "I had a feeling as soon as I saw you."

"O." she whispered.

"I figured you needed a friend. I do too." he admitted.

"No details." she told him fiercely.

"I don't want any." he retorted quickly.

They both smiled at each other as that awkward subject was over.

"So Zoey," he began. "What music do you listen to?"

(X)

3 hours had passed before she knew it.

"Sorry Zoey but I gotta go." he told her after checking his phone.

She frowned. "But you just got here!" she replied.

Jeffy grinned. "We've been here for 3 hours."

"Really?" she hadn't looked over her shoulder once. Hadn't felt nerves or fear. She felt happy and safe.

He nodded.

"The time passed so quickly." she whispered sadly.

"It did." he agreed. "Your amazing, I wish…." he trailed off.

"What?" she asked worried.

"Don't take this the way it sounds but I wish I had met you before. Then maybe we'd have a chance."

She nodded. "Me too. You're a lovely guy. Easy to talk to. Perfect boyfriend material. Your cute too."

"But your not looking." he finished for her.

"I don't know if I ever will." she admitted. "I can't see it, to be honest Jeffy I…" she exhaled.

"Yeah?" he asked softly.

"I… see well…." she faltered.

"Don't worry about it Zoey. You don't have to tell me." he looked in her eyes.

She shook her head. "I have trust issues Jeffy. You don't know the full story about what happened."

He nodded. "It's a good thing you're my best friend then." he changed the subject realising it was straying into an area she obviously was uncomfortable in.

"Seeing as you're my only friend I don't think that counts."

"Well with how wonderful I am you only need one!" his eyes twinkled.

In that moment Zoey found herself wishing it hadn't happened. That Swift hadn't existed. That William had fucked with her head. The only reason at that second she could think of was so that she and this boy could be together. She knew this would have been something special. If she had been normal she fell would have fell for him on the spot forget any other boys. They would have faded into oblivion. "I'll ask dad to give you a lift." she offered. Pushing away her thoughts.

"What about your mum?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

She motioned him closer. "SHE'S the one you need to be afraid of!" she grinned.

"O." they both laughed jovially.

"It's ok Zoey. About the lift. My dad text me. He's on his way."

They sat in silence again.

"I really like you." she blurted, a whisper.

"I live to serve." he smiled. Put his hand in his pocket then handed her a piece of paper with his number on. "Call me if you need to talk. I'm always here."

She looked at the number. "I guess you want mine too?"

"Only if you want to give it to me." he told her.

"We'll see huh?"

He smiled and nodded. Not a flat out no. At the sight of his smile Zoey forgot how to breath. A car chugged up the path and broke the moment.

"Goodbye Zoey." he picked up her hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it. Her skin tingled at the contact. She got up and followed him mechanically, then stood still at the top of the veranda as he climbed into the car and then drove away. Her mum walked out onto the veranda.

"Zoey you ok?" she asked at Zoey's confused face.

"I…um…yeah….I think."

Her mum frowned. "You think?"

"Um…this is….I dunno." her thoughts were all jumbled. She still hadn't moved.

"Zoey baby I'm worried about you. What's happened to make you so rattled?" she was nearly incoherent!

Zoey turned to looked at her mother. "Nothing happened. I was just talking to Jeffy then he went home."

O Jeffy! So that was the problem. It was a boy. But what was it? Was she scared? Nervous? "Do you mind if I asked what you spoke about?"

A request like that a year ago would have elicited a reply like stay the hell out of my life and business. But now…."Anything. Music mostly. We could talk about everything. It was like the easiest conversation I ever had with anyone."

Lexi finally recognised the hesitant twinkle that appeared in her daughters eye. She began to worry that this might be too soon.

"I told him at the beginning about being missing." Zoey told her.

Lexi paled.

"He said he knew. Recognised me. He doesn't care. Didn't want no details or anything. Just wants to be friends. I really need a friend." she whispered. "I told him I wasn't looking for a boyfriend and he was fine with it."

"So why the confusion?" Lexi blurted.

"I feel…that's it I feel something. For a boy. And it's only been a month! I've had no 'proper' therapy shouldn't I still be afraid?"

Now it was Lexi's turn to be confused. "Do you want to be afraid?"

"NO I really like him. I want to be normal. I trust him…..and after Swift...oh I just don't know!"

Now they were at the root of the problem….Swift. Zoey was doubting her judgement.

"Not all boys are like Swift." Lexi told her.

"The potential could be there though, in everyone. Take care of number one. Sod everyone else. Who cares if they get hurt as long as your safe!" she said bitterly.

"Zoey, I know and always have know that your dad would die for me. If it came down to protecting me to himself I know he wouldn't hesitate. Even now it's still true!"

"But that is dad!" Zoey stressed.

"Your dad does happen to be a boy too you know." Lexi drawled smiling.

"But he's dad! He's a fireman too. It's kinda his job to protect people. Plus he loves you." she countered.

Lexi exhaled. "I know it's hard but you just need to trust that your making the right decisions. I know and understand your confusion. I felt it myself growing up." About Tobias. About Josh and her dad she thought silently. "I just listened to this little voice that muttered when something felt off. Don't ignore it. Just listen hard and you'll learnt to hear it."

"Can't you just tell me what to do?" Zoey asked.

"That wouldn't help you. Personally though I have a few thoughts. I don't want them to impact any decision you make if you want to hear them."

"Please mum!" Zoey begged.

Lexi exhaled. "Well mostly your telling me about him. You were with Swift 3 months and didn't even say a word. Fair enough he was 17 but you could have mentioned him without mentioning his age."

"So?" Zoey asked.

Lexi shrugged. "I guess this shows that you want to be open and don't want to hide a good guy?"

Zoey frowned.

"I'm sorry Zoey but I don't know this boy so I can't give you my full opinion. Don't rush it. If he is a good guy then he'll understand and wait."

Zoey nodded. "This sorta helped."

"Multitalented." Lexi smiled. "Plus I had the same problems with boys you do so I know how you feel."

"Look mum about you and dad." Zoey started.

"Yeah."

"Are you getting back together?"

Lexi froze. "What made you think that?"

"Well he's living here again and you seem…..well close."

"We live together as parents for you and EJ. You're the important people here."

"But you and dad are important too!" Zoey countered.

"We'll sort that out if anything happens. You and EJ will be the first to know."

"It's nice having dad around, without you two arguing all the time." Zoey told her.

"Yeah it is." Lexi agreed smiling.

**A/N this chapter was a filler hope u enjoyed. x**


	73. Shopping

EJ was sat in his room. Samuel was irritating him. He was pressuring him into trying more drugs. Harder ones this time. Samuel had heroin today. Heroin! For Christ's sake did they not understand that that stuff was addictive? That it messed you up, could kill you? When he had saw it EJ had nearly fell over. Then they were all doing lines and he was just sat staring at them…..God! His heart had pounded like hell watching them! The thing was, if Zoey hadn't intervened that could have been him! Samuel was getting worse. There was no way he was touching that stuff, not the hard stuff. Weed was harmless but heroin? Not a snowballs chance in hell! He was beginning to think that it might be best just to cut all ties with Samuel and be done with it! Just find some new friends, who didn't have a never ending supply of drugs for one!

He was starting to worry about Samuel's new fixation with Zoey too. When he was normal, not high that is he never mentioned her but when he was high he muttered her name a lot. Laughed too! Problem was most of the stuff he said was incoherent. If he so much as went near her he'd tear him apart, and God help him if he laid one finger on her! He obviously had some sort of crush on her. Zoey wasn't being hurt again! He decided to go and see how she was. He left his room and saw Zoey walk into hers.

"Hey Zoey." he called.

"Ethan." she replied.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

"Whatever." was her reply.

He walked in and saw Zoey fuss with her CD player then she lay on her bed and closed her eyes.

"What you…." he began.

"It's how I cope now." she answered. "You know, instead of cutting. I'm trying out some new coping mechanisms. Some are rubbish. Others are ok."

"What about this one?" he asked.

She opened her eyes. "This was isn't bad. It works sometimes. Not with the big stuff." Like William she added silently.

"Can I help?" he offered.

Zoey smiled. "No."

He frowned.

"How are you anyway?" she asked before he could question her further.

"You were right." he told her and sat on the chair. "About Samuel, he's been bringing ecstasy and heroin."

Zoey sat up straight panicking.

"Don't worry." he held up his hands. "I told him no."

Zoey scrutinised him. "How did they take the refusal?"

He exhaled. "They say I'm scared. Soft. Trying to manipulate me you know."

She nodded.

"I think I'm just gonna distance myself from it."

"That's what I wanted to tell you to do but I didn't….you had to make that decision yourself." she exhaled. "I only brought up that agreement coz I care. I just want what's best for you." she added at his raised eyebrows. "I dislike telling people what to do. My whole life was controlled for a year. You have no idea how stifling it is." she whispered. Looked down at her bedspread. Swallowed.

"Don't worry about it Zoey. I just, I guess I just wanted to thank you. For our agreement. If it hadn't been there I dunno if I would have tried that stuff. See I did get a kick out of the weed. That thought really scared me, that I might have took it!" he admitted. "O and I'm sorry I came bursting in here the other day. Thinking you were cutting. Your stronger then I give you credit for!"

"Never forget it either EJ!" she warned. "And thanks for apologising. Cutting is easier and quicker but this is healthier!"

EJ nodded. "I'll let you get back to…..well coping I suppose." he said wincing at his words.

"Same time and place next week?" she asked. Weekly updates seemed good.

He smiled and nodded.

She never thought she'd think this but she actually enjoyed spending time and talking to EJ. When you got passed his bravado and annoying little brother quirks he was nice!

As EJ was closing her bedroom door she heard her dad say he was going shopping. Zoey jumped from her bed and dashed to her bedroom door. Popped her head out. "Dad can I come?"

Ethan looked at her. "You hate food shopping though."

"Um…. That's fine." she said and began to close her door.

"I wasn't saying no!" Ethan told her quickly. "I just…..you used to give me the dirtiest looks when I asked you to go before."

"We could spend this time together." she hinted.

Ethan smiled. "That'll be great! You ready?"

She nodded. "Just let me pull my shoes on."

(X)

Ethan and Zoey were speeding towards town. "How you been then Zoey?" Ethan asked, eyes on the road.

Zoey shrugged. "Sometimes good. Other times not so good. I feel better most of the time. I still feel confused though. As more stuff gets added you know." Like Jeffy she thought.

"I'm here you know. I know your a young woman now and your mum's here." he exhaled. "I know she is gonna be easier to talk to then me but…." he trailed off. "I'm here if you need me." he said quietly. "For anything."

She looked at her dad and saw that even though he was struggling he was trying. "Thanks dad."

"You and EJ seem to be getting along a lot better now." he mentioned. "You know since you cleared the air."

"We came to an understanding. We just try to support each other now." she wondered whether or not to tell her dad what was on her mind. She decided to. "You should talk to him dad. He'll never admit it but he really needs you. A strong male role model. A dad." she stressed.

EJ was someone Ethan did struggle with. When he was a baby and young child it had been easy. He'd been daddy. Now that EJ speeding towards manhood Ethan was clueless. He didn't have a father as a teen, didn't have a father as a baby either to be honest. His father was….well he didn't even have to say it! And Danny, he fought him every step of the way. Every time Danny tried to let him in, tried to bond he pushed him away. Now Ethan didn't know how to be a father to a man. It shouldn't be any difference to being a father to Zoey but somehow it was.

"Don't worry about it Zoey." he told her. "I'm working on it."

Zoey looked around. Saw trees and grass speed passed. "First time I've been out in….ages. " she murmured offhandedly.

Ethan recognised the tone. Had heard it often before during his therapy sessions. She tried to sound candid but it wasn't working. He pulled the truck to a stop. "You ok?" he asked soothingly.

She frowned. "I feel nervous, how stupid and pathetic am I huh?"

"Zoey….."

"Don't dad." she pleaded.

He nodded. "Look Zoey, I swear nothing will happen to you. If anyone wants you they have to go through me!" he said passionately.

"I know dad." she told him. "You're the best."

He smiled and restarted the truck. "I'm happy you're here. Food shopping is beyond tedious!"

Zoey shook her head. "EJ doesn't half sound like you! Stuff he says and the way he says it. You have the same voice and your mannerisms are the same too. It's funny actually."

"Your poor mum and you huh? 2 of me around!" he laughed.

She patted his hand and they began on their route once again.

(X)

Zoey pushed the trolley around the shop. She and her dad chatted. Mostly it was inconsequential stuff. It was easier here then in the house. Out here with people around there was no fear that the conversation might stray into painful and awkward areas. He had her laughing as he began juggling four oranges.

"It's nice spending time with you dad." She had forgot how much fun he could be. Before she was…..taken she had distanced herself from her family, hadn't spent as much time with them as she used to. She couldn't blame that all on Swift although he had definitely encouraged it. She had thought it was coz he wanted to spend time with her. God was she wrong. He was just lulling her into a false sense of security then bam! Thoughts like this always put her on edge so she pushed them out of her mind. She just wanted to enjoy her time with her dad.

"Yeah, we didn't really do this much before. It's really nice." he agreed. He and his daughter were very alike. They shared the same sense of humour and likes/dislikes. She had told him that William had a big range of books, Shakespeare, Twain. Dickens. When he'd been at work she used to get them out and read them just for something to do. They had discussed them and she was very opinionated about everything about them. She had obviously analysed them deeply. It was the first time she had volunteered anything from then and not retreated into herself. He found himself biting back a smile. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"What was that for?" she asked.

"For being you." he simply said and headed towards the checkouts. Then he looked down. "Damn I forgot your mum's yogurts! They are ALL she talks about recently." he mused.

"I'll go get them. Which ones?"

"Zoey." he began.

"It's only yogurts dad. 3 aisles across." she muttered dryly. She actually wasn't scared she wanted to do this.

"Manky….oops sorry Muller fruit corners, 6 pack." he made a face of disgust.

"I'm definately getting them. They're lush!" she murmured.

"No they're really not!" he retorted.

She began to walk away backwards. "Just coz you have no taste dad!" then she spun and approached the aisle. Glanced back and saw her dad watching her worriedly. She gave him a thumbs up and carried on. Turned the corner.

She was halfway down the first aisle when she heard someone call her name.

"Zoey." they hissed.

Zoey spun. She had recognised that voice. It had sounded like Swift! No one was around. Her imagination was just going a little mad. She chided herself, exhaled shook her head and carried on.

"I can see you!" the voice hissed again. As she walked down the second aisle. She ignored it. She was just about to pick up the yogurts when a different voice drifted towards her.

"I miss my sweet cheeks so much!" came a wail. That voice she was in NO doubt. That was William! She'd never forget that voice. It was permanently imprinted on her brain!

Her eyes widened and she spun around her heart pounding... again no one was there.

RIGHT! Whoever this sick freak was they weren't messing with her anymore! She stiffened her back and rose herself to her full height. Ignored the voice. The jeers.

"You don't scare me!" she hissed.

"You'll be mine once again!" the voice told her from behind. She turned and a person rounded the corner almost like in slow motion. She swore she felt her ehart physically stop! The person wore a long black coat and a hat pulled over his eyes. She had taken all that she could and ran back to the checkout where her dad was. Stood close.

"Zoey?" Ethan asked concerned. "You ok?"

"I just thought you might have been though already so I hurried. I'm really out of shape." she said breathless. The cause of her breathlessness wasn't from her run though.

Ethan frowned at her.

"Zoey did you…."

"Dad if anyone had came near me they'd have heard my screams clear over in the north pole!" she told him. God she was good. She almost convinced herself.

He nodded. "If your sure!"

"I'm sure." she lied. Then glanced around nervously when her dad's back was turned.

(X)

Samuel whipped off the jacket he had wore and the hat. Put the recorder he used to tape William in his pocket. He stood and watched Zoey made sure she couldn't see him. He liked the scared look in her eyes. Her arms were wrapped around her body tightly. She had brought this on herself. If she hadn't tried to push him and be clever then he would have left her alone. All he had wanted was an apology for what she did, but no therefore he was fully justified in what he was doing! He grinned. Time to implement the next phase. He grinned and walked from the shop. He was beginning to debate on whether or not to tell William where she was. He probably would…eventually. He was having too much fun at the moment though!

**A/N apologies for the lack of update and sporadic reviewing. im really busy atm and have been making vids in my spare time. i know this is kinda rubbish, it's a build up chapter really... that is all i'll say. hope u enjoyed anyway x**


	74. Signs

Ethan and Zoey arrived at home. She was quiet and withdrawn once again. Her eyes shuttered, her body language which to the untrained eye looked fine but he knew how to pick up on subtle differences. She was tense. On edge.

"Zoey." Ethan began and pulled the car to a stop.

Zoey jumped.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Nothing." she said stiffly.

"Tell me Zoey." he urged.

"NOTHING!" she yelled. Crossed her arms and ignored her dad for the rest of the journey home.

Ethan began to drive once again. Something had happened. Of that he was sure. Her body language as she returned with the yogurts screamed that something had spooked her and now she was retreating into herself again. Why wouldn't she confide in him? If she just told him he'd sort it for her. No matter what. Ethan was beginning to fear that the only person Zoey felt she could trust and depend on was herself!

(X)

As soon as Zoey and Ethan arrived home Zoey dived from the truck. Dashed to her room and slammed the door violently. Ethan groaned and gathered the bags.

"What's up?" she asked.

Ethan shook his head. "I have no idea. She went to get yogurts and came back like that. She's afraid Lex and won't tell me. I'm really worried!"

He put the bags on the table.

Lexi rooted through the bags. Pulled out the yogurts and immediately opened one. Grabbed a spoon mixed it up and took a bite.

"Mmmm, I have waited for this all day!" she said, almost moaned.

Ethan gave her a funny look and began unpacking.

"Ethan, it is the first time she's been out you know." Lexi said after a second bite.

"It's more then that Lex. We were fine one minute then later she was different!"

"Maybe your expecting too much!" Lexi said spooning another bite in her mouth.

He frowned. "Don't dare start with that Lex!"

She glared at him. Opened her mouth to let rip, he interrupted her.

"What's up Lex?" he hissed. "Xander coming around so you picking a fight?" he asked nastily.

"Now look who's starting huh Eth?"

"I'll get the bags and then leave you alone." he suggested.

"Yeah, you do that!" she spat. "Just stay the hell away from me!"

The yogurt Lexi had just enjoyed churned uneasily in her stomach.

(X) **One Week Later**

Zoey was drawing in her room. A NEW coping mechanism. She had gone through so many and nothing was working. This one was rubbish too. All the colours seemed to be blacks, greys, dark blues. That depressed her more than anything. She tried to muster up positive creative energy but it wasn't happening. Someone out there was messing with her she knew it! If it HAD been William he'd have made a move by now…..then again Zoey you do know he can be patient. He'd bide his time you know he's a meticulous planner. Prided himself on it! Maybe he thinks he's lulling you into a false sense of security, then he'd strike. When you least expect it! She added more thick black marks to her drawing then pushed it to the floor. All the drab colours adding to her increasing bad mood more. She got up and turned her laptop on. Then she walked into the kitchen to grab a glass of juice.

As she walked back towards her room she noticed an envelope on the floor at the front door. She walked over and picked it up. It was for her. Probably another letter off a magazine company offering her thousands of rand for her story. Didn't they get it no didn't mean offer more money. It meant fuck you, you asshole I ain't telling you one freaking word! That was after all the nice no thank you's mind. They thought she was playing for more money. All she wanted was to get passed it not tell the world what she went through! God it was just sick! Why the hell would other people wanna know what she went though? What William did to her! It was sick and morbid! She thought in disgust. She debated on ripping this letter straight up! Something told her not to and she carried it into her room. She saw her computer had loaded and she switched on her internet and loaded up her facebook. All her old friends had added her, after a nudge from EJ. He thought she didn't know but she did. He was sweet! Anyway they had added her and they were talking. They had missed her apparently and helped search at first. They thought she had ran off with Swift to Gretna Green. God they were romantics! They had thought Swift was the best thing ever! He had them all conned! They kept on asking if she wanted to meet up. All she had to do was say the word. The only friend she wanted to see face to face at the moment was Jeffy. They spoke often too but he hadn't been able to come over again. Really busy. She looked forward to talking to him though. They had started with little conversations on the phone too. He was so sweet ad funny and not at all 'hard' well except for the fact that she suspected she was falling for him. And that scared her to death!

As her face book home page was loading she ripped open the letter. Ok how much this time? God they were tenacious she'd give them that! She glanced at the screen and saw she had a friend request. Clicked on it then went back to her letter. She pulled the page from the envelope and unfolded it. Her heart began to beat erratically at the words she saw written, in a very familiar script.

**W**ITHOUT YOUR

**I**RRESISTABLE

**L**OVE

**L**IFE

**I**S

**A**BOMINABLY

**M**OROSE

(X)

**A**LWAYS I

**N**EED YOU

**D**ARLING

(X)

**Z**OEY

**O**H I'M

**E**TERNALLY

**Y**OURS

Zoey tossed the letter away from her like it burned her skin. Her whole hand felt tainted. He had touched that letter and now his touch had again contaminated her! It was then she looked at her computer and she felt sick. Oh god no! she cried. A picture of William was on her screen. Her friend request was….

"NO!" she screamed. "Leave me alone!" she picked up her laptop and threw it off the wall forcefully. She had reached her peak. This was the absolute limit. She couldn't take living like this! There was only one answer! She ran into the kitchen and pulled the sharpest knife out of the block. She couldn't live in fear anymore. She couldn't deal with the mind games either. She was back in her room. Her mum had went to see her granddad and she was alone for 10. Her dad at work. All the time she needed! She turned some music on, went to her desk and grabbed a sheet of paper.

_'Mum, dad EJ. I love you all. I'm sorry. I just can't do this anymore. Zoey x'_

Short sweet and to the point. Not that she had time for more. Skillet - The Last Night was playing. She sat on her bed and closed her eyes. Exhaled. This was the best thing she could do - for herself! Life just wasn't worth it anymore. The last 15 months had been hell and she didn't want to live through another day of it! The woprse thing was that William had got a letter to her, he could know where she was. She wasn't safe anymore. This is the only way she could be without fear. The only way she could be free! The word free spurred her on.

'**You come to me with scars on your wrist, you say this is the last night feeling like this.'**

The singer was singing to her she knew. It was a random song and it was the final sign she needed to know this was right. Even fate was telling her to do it with the choice of song. She wished she could heal herself. She really did but it wasn't happening she looked down at the knife and lifted her wrist. No more fear. No more lying. Nor more being frozen! She pressed the knife to her wrist and pulled it sharply. Hissed in pain. With each cut she applied more pressure. After she had cut her left wrist she began on her right and the knife was getting harder to control. It was slippery from blood and she was getting fuzzy. She could already feel everything just slowly draining from her with every drop of blood that leaked from her body.

Zoey began to sway after a particularly deep cut and she fell backwards on the bed. Her head landed on her pillow. The knife fell to the floor and she thought she heard a clatter she couldn't be sure. Her fingers felt like they didn't work anymore. She was trying to force them into making fists so the blood flowed quicker but they were stiff and immovable. She lay on her bed blinking tiredly. The music played but she didn't hear it. All she heard was a faint buzzing, lights played and danced in front of her eyes. She was gradually beginning to feel nothing. Not even the warm blood that was slowly tricked from her wounds. As her eyes finally started to close she felt at peace. No worries. No fear. Just comfort. She exhaled slowly…

**A/N sorry if this distressed anyone :( x**


	75. Hysterical

Amie was sat having lunch with Tom. They were sat outside of a little café in London. The weather was warm, the sun shining and she was beyond happy. She was having a sip of her drink when she suddenly felt unexplainably sick. A bad feeling rose and her mother's voice was screaming at her, muffled and incoherent.

Tom who had been smiling at her was worried when she went deathly pale. "Amie?" he asked and squeezed her hand.

She meanwhile had been staring into space trying to decipher her mothers words. The only one she could make out was…family. Shit! No freaking way!

"Something is wrong!" she declared and stood up sharply startling the people behind her. "It's my family!"

She pulled her phone out and walked to a quiet corner. Rang her dad. He picked up on the second ring.

"Dad tell me what's wrong and with who!" she demanded. "I know it's Miss! You would have told me otherwise!" she carried on not giving him a chance to answer.

"Whoa Amie, Amie Amie." her dad coaxed. "Calm down baby. We are all fine!" he promised.

Amie exhaled and felt tears spring to her eyes. She was sure Missy was ill. Or possibly Lexi. "Really?" she asked needing assurance. "I had this really bad feeling. They aren't usually wrong."

"Honestly we are all healthy over here. No casualties. For once." he added. "Anyway how are you?"

"I'm really good." she smiled at Tom who was giving her space. He winked and she motioned him across.

"You sound happy." her dad told her.

"I am." at that same moment Tom pressed a kiss to her head and wrapped his arm around her waist. "Look dad can you put Miss on please. I'll call you later okay?"

"Okay angel. See you soon…..hopefully." he hinted.

"You will, I promise. I have time off soon." and so did Tom. They were going over together. "Love you dad."

He reciprocated then there was the echo of footsteps and her dad calling Miss.

"Can we go home Tom?" she asked.

He nodded and they walked to the car. She climbed in the passenger side.

"Amie it's nice to hear from you!" Missy declared. "I saw you on that vid by the way. You kick ass!" she laughed. "You go girl!"

"Yo Miss Focus!" Amie told her seriously.

"Amie what is it? Are you ill? Do you need help?" Missy shot the questions at her. Her tone gravely serious.

"Miss I got this really bad feeling that something is wrong with one of you! Dad already told me everyone is fine but I can't shake it. Miss is it, you know, your heart." she whispered. "I know you wouldn't tell no one for not wanting to worry them but this is me Miss. You can tell me!" she assured.

"Amie my heart is fine. I have regular check ups. Your dad makes me!" she said dryly. "Honest we are all fine over here. It's all normal. Daniel is down coz he hasn't seen Amy in a while and he misses her. Ryan is down coz Leila has went to live with a cousin in Jo'burg. Me and your dad couldn't be happier. Setting a date for the wedding tonight actually!" she said excitedly. "I've just been speaking to Lex, she mentioned that she and Ethan had words. Your probably just picking up on some bad vibes. Don't worry!"

"You promise it isn't your heart?" Amie asked.

"I wouldn't lie to you about that Amie." Amie said honestly.

"Good! Nothing is happening to my mum ok!" Amie told her

"Yes sir!" Missy replied.

"Love you mum. Speak soon."

"Ok Ames. take care of yourself. We love you too."

Amie disconnected. They arrived at Tom's. The sickness Amie felt hadn't receded and her mum's voice was starting to give her a headache.

"Amie honey?" Tom asked and massaged her shoulders.

"Something is wrong Tom. I know it." she exhaled. "Think Amie! Right it's not Ryan or Daniel. Or Ethan or Lex. Not dad or mum so that leaves EJ and …." she was almost physically sick as her name exploded in her mind. "Christ it's Zoey!" he yelled and stood up. "I know it's Zoey!" she panicked.

She was shaking as she rang Lexi.

"C'mon C'MON!" she urged as it rang. Paced jerkily.

"Calm down Amie." Tom soothed and rubbed her arms.

"C'mon Lex or I swear when I see you I'll kick…." There was a click as it connected.

"Hello." Lexi said.

Lex it's Amie."

"Oh Am…."

Amie cut her off. "No time Lex, have you got Zoey with you?" Amie yelped.

"No why?"

"Lex go find her!"

"Amie?"

"FIND HER NOW!" Amie yelled.

"Amie tell me what's going on." Lexi asked.

"I got a bad feeling Lex!"

Lexi exhaled. "You had me worried there Amie. Look I'm busy I'll call you…."

"Dammit Lex just do it!" she demanded. "Please!" she pleaded.

Lexi heard her tone. She was just shy of hysterical. "Ok Amie." she soothed. "Just calm down. Everything is fine."

Amie's heart was pounding as she heard her sister walk down the hallway.

(X)

Lexi walked down the hallway to Zoey's room. She hadn't been in in long. A CD was playing loudly. She knocked.

"Zoey!" she called. Probably couldn't hear her over the music.

"How is she? She ok?" Amie asked voice shaking.

Lexi debated on lying. Why disturb Zoey? She could just tell Amie she was fine and get back to work. She had a lot to do and Lexi didn't have the time to explain to Zoey why her aunt was going into meltdown. And to be honest she couldn't explain Amie's feelings either! She couldn't ignore Amie's tone though. She sounded genuinely terrified. You know what she'd just pop in. "I'm just going in. you'll hear her voice in…" She turned the knob and walked into her daughters room. Saw Zoey lain on her bed. Completely still.

The first thing that penetrated was blood. Lots of blood. Too much blood! It was everywhere. In little pools on the bed. Covered Zoey's arms and legs. She then saw the knife on the floor and Zoey's hand dangling lifelessly. Blood dripping monotonously from her fingers onto the floor. The puddle there rippled with every drip.

"ZOEY!" she screamed. Dropped the phone and ran to her daughter. Immediately checked her pulse. Still there. She dashed from the bedroom into the bathroom and grabbed the first aid kit. Called an ambulance, only stayed on long enough to give her address then was back beside her daughter. Only 2 minutes had passed, it had felt like 20 minutes! She sat by Zoey's side.

"Zoey, it's mum. Can you hear me?" she asked. Pulled out the bandages and wrapped them around her wrists tightly. A lock of her blond hair fell into her hairs. She pushed it out of the way and ended up smearing her forehead with her daughters blood.

"Zoey talk to me!" she panicked. "Please say something!"

Her pulse was weak and thready. She was covered in perspiration. She elevated Zoey's hands after the bandages were on. Then she checked her other vitals. She was unresponsive. She looked back at the bandages and saw they were slowly being stained dark red. The cuts were deep, tight bandages didn't stem the flow of the blood. She put pressure on them and felt her daughters warm blood ooze onto her fingers. She suddenly realised she was covered in her daughters blood. Her head, her hands, trousers and shoes. God she was gonna be sick!

"LEXI!" she heard Xander's voice.

"In the bedroom!" she called.

Xander and his partner hurried in.

"This is Zoey. 15 years old. She cut her wrists. I have no idea how much blood she's lost or how long she's been out.. I found….I found…." she began to hyperventilate. Tears leaked from her eyes.

"Lex we're here now ok." Xander soothed. "We'll take care of her." he promised. Turned to Zoey.

"Ok Zoey I'm Xander….."

Lexi didn't hear his voice. Her entire focus was on her child. Her baby who lay completely still. Far too pale. Far too young! Lexi was reacting on pure emotion. She watched and hovered then climbed in the ambulance beside them. Zoey meanwhile was completely unresponsive.

(X)

Lexi paced outside of Zoey's room. She knew she had to ring people but she couldn't leave her little girl. She couldn't be alone. The doctors had came to speak to her yet either, what if she missed them? They probably already knew she was a bad mother. I mean her daughter had tried to kill herself. And to leave her alone. No way!

"Lexi?" Xander asked.

"Ring Ethan please Xander. I can't leave her."

He nodded and dialled the number Lexi gave him.

"It's off." he said softly.

Lexi almost broke down. She needed her husband! She didn't realise she had thought of him like that.

"Ring my dad please!" she whispered. Not trusting her voice.

He nodded, after dialling the number he got through. Gave him the grave news.

"He's on his way." Xander told her.

"Thank you." she said not looking at him. Staring at the door to her daughters room. This feeling was alien to her. She was usually stood where Xander was right now. Trying to soothe a family member who was beside themselves. She had always tried to empathise with them but now she realised she must have came across as unfeeling or even patronising. No one on this earth could even imagine how it felt to see your child, your baby, someone you die for, kill for lying there unmoving possibly dying unless you live through it. She was living it now and boy was it killing her! The feeling you get when you think for a split second that your baby is gone. How helpless you feel as they lie there because you know you can't fight this for them. God her chest was aching!

Xander looked at Lexi. She looked ill. Pale. Worried. "Look Lexi…..do you want a hug?" he offered.

She shook her head and carried on pacing.

10 minutes later Ethan walked in. "Where is she?" he said. Voice shaking.

"Ethan?" Lexi squeaked. Her voice broke and she went to him. Walked straight into his arms and buried her face in his neck. He lowered his head and put it on her shoulder. He was murmuring to her softly.

Xander stood watching for a second and knew. Whatever thoughts he had entertained of him and Lexi trying again died a swift death. She was still in love with her husband. Deeply. He had never had a claim on her heart. Had never been able to comfort her when she needed it. Ethan comforted her by simply being here. Xander walked off and left them alone.

"What happened Lex?" Ethan asked. Eyes glistening. His hand rested on her cheek and he looked at her face. Saw the red blood on her forehead. Noted that her heads and clothes were covered too.

"She cut her wrists Ethan." Tears hadn't stopped falling. They were fast and hot.

Ethan paled.

"Deep cuts too. She wasn't messing on, this wasn't a cry for help. She fully meant to ki…." she broke down and sobbed harder.

Ethan wrapped his arms around her controlled the devastation that rose. "Miss is gonna collect EJ. I called her. She said your dad is on his way."

"Our baby is unresponsive Ethan. We can't lose out little girl!" she cried against his chest.

He released a shaky breath. Held on tight to his control. Lexi needed him to be strong. "We'll see what her doctor says yeah?" inhaled deeply to try and steady himself.

(X)

The doctor walked out a short while later. Walked towards them. Lexi finally disengaged herself form her husbands soothing embrace. They joined hands and clutched tightly.

"Your daughter is stable. She has had blood transfusions. She had hit a major vein. If she hadn't been brought in when you did I doubt she would have survived. She lost a lot of blood!"

Lexi put her hand over her mouth to stifle the scream of anguish that rose.

"She is sleeping at the moment. She may well wake up but don't expect much. She is very weak and incoherent due to blood loss and the drugs."

They nodded.

"Thank you!" Ethan said and shook the doctors hand. Made a promise to go and donate blood - today if possible.

The doctor nodded. Ethan and Lexi walked in their daughters room. Zoey's eyes were closed and her skin was as white as her sheets. They sat side by side clutching hands still. Lexi bit her lip.

"Why did she do this Ethan?" she finally whispered.

"I dunno." he answered. Lexi realised he was being awfully quiet.

"How did you….." she began.

"Amie called me. Hysterical!" he answered.

Lexi's hand flew to her mouth again. "God Amie!" she gasped. "She called me telling me something was wrong. She made me check on her. Forced me. I nearly didn't. Ethan if Amie hadn't called we'd have lost her!"

Ethan pulled Lexi close for another hug. He should have seen this coming! He was trained to anticipate this sort of stuff! He was supposed to be able to spot suicidal thoughts and behaviour! He had obviously missed all the markers.

Danny walked in.

"Lexi." he said.

"Dad." she left Ethan's embrace and went to her dad.

Danny hugged her tight. Looked at Ethan. "You ok son?"

He nodded. Held his little girls hand. The small fragile fingers didn't so much as twitch. He should have prevented this! Once again he had failed to protect his little girl!

**A/N 3 chapters in one night. i am on a roll :D x hope u enjoyed and hope these chapters make up for the lack of update x**


	76. Explosion

EJ was sat on the stairs at Leopards Den. He was spoiling for a fight. So Zoey had gone back on her agreement. After everything she had said to him! Figures! You just couldn't trust girls…..or family. He had assured her he was here if she ever needed him, why couldn't she have came to him? Well she could go to hell! He didn't want to look at her, HE had did his best not wanting to let her down and she had been like oh I can still do what I want. Screw any promises I made to my little brother. He exhaled noisily. He was stuck staying here tonight as his mum and dad were staying with Zoey. What a surprise! he thought sarcastically. He just wasn't important. They had 2 kids but you'd never guess it they way they gushed all over Zoey. He may as well just disappear for all notice they took of him! They only time they paid attention to him is if it had something to do with her…..you know what, this wasn't fair and he wasn't putting up with that shit anymore. Screw the whole lot of them. Who needed family?

Ryan and his friends walked down the stairs passed him. They were laughing at some joke. They completely ignored EJ. Missy then walked passed him too. They all came to a stop beside a truck.

"I'll see you guys later." Ryan said to Bomha and Lewis.

"See you Ry." they replied.

"Are you and EJ gonna be ok for 15 minutes?" Missy asked looking between them.

"Yeah mum. We'll be fine." Ryan muttered.

Missy shot Ryan a warning look. NO FIGHTING! Was shining from her eyes. He blinked in reply and she gave him a small smile.

"I won't be long anyway." she said starting the truck. "Daniel is in the house!" she told them pointedly.

EJ ignored her.

She drove away as Ryan walked up into the house.

"No Leila tonight?" EJ asked nastily knowing full well that Ryan didn't see her much since she moved.

"No." Ryan said simply, carried on walking.

"She dump you yet?" EJ laughed.

"No." Ryan replied dryly.

"I bet she did and you don't wanna admit it."

"Shows what you know!" Ryan muttered.

"What?" EJ asked standing up.

"Nothing." Ryan said dismissively. Smirked at EJ then walked into the house.

"Don't walk away from me Ryan!" EJ warned.

Ryan ignored him.

"What's the matter Ry. Scared of what mummy'll do? Or you scared of me?" he goaded.

Ryan froze. Heard a little voice in his head. 'He's just trying to provoke a reaction from you Ry. Your bigger then this!' carry on walking he told himself.

EJ sick of his lack of reaction picked up a stone and threw it off the back of Ryan's head. Ryan's head jerked forward as it impacted. He spun and saw EJ smiling. He pressed his hand to the back of his head and then looked at it, a speckle of blood stained his fingers. Oh he had SO hit his limit!

"Your pushed me too far EJ!" he seethed. Stalked towards him. "You mention Leila and then all this crap about me being scared of you. Then you hit me from behind. All of this while your sister is lying in a hospital bed!" he hissed. As soon as he stood in front of him he pushed him hard, then clenched his fists. "Why don't you think of someone other then yourself for a change!"

"You started this!" EJ fumed.

"No YOU did! Leila likes me not you, and you don't like it!"

"I could have her whenever I want. I'm LETTING you have her!" EJ retorted.

Ryan laughed. "In your dreams. She can't stand you!"

EJ smiled widely. "I KNOW I'm coming between you!"

Ryan would never admit it but he was right. She hated that she was the cause of a rift in his family. "No your not!" Ryan spat.

EJ shrugged. "I bet I could break the two of you up if I really wanted to!"

Ryan went to raise one of his clenched fists then he stopped. "You know what EJ, your not worth it! I'm a bigger man then you! See I don't need to lash out, I'm calmer then you, rational. Let's face it the way you act you're a psycho! Best tell your dad to get you sectioned and get it over with!" Ryan went to walk away

"Just like your mother then?" EJ spat

Ryan froze. His back stiffened.

EJ smiled. "Didn't know that did you? I found some old paperwork of my dad's. Dad had your mum sectioned. Right around the time you were born!"

"You're a liar!" Ryan hissed looking at him.

"Your mum is a psycho AND a husband stealer too. Must be genetic!"

Right now EJ was insulting his mother? No one got away with that! "You NEVER mention my mum!" Ryan roared and ran at EJ. Dived at him they both went sprawling trading blows.

"You take it back now!" Ryan seethed and punched him in the nose. It exploded splattering blood everywhere. EJ rolled battling for supremacy. They ended up rolling down the stairs.

Ryan was above him as the hit the base of the stairs. Had him pinned hard. EJ was trapped. Meanwhile a red mist had descended over Ryan. He hit down over and over again. EJ was trying to move but he was held solidly. He had never seen Ryan like this before. EJ saw a rock beside him. He reached and grabbed it. He swung as hard as he could and hit Ryan in the side of the head. Ryan in his rage had never seen it coming. The force of the blow caused Ryan to fall sideways. He ended up sprawled face down up the stairs.

EJ lay on his back in the mud breathing hard. His face ached. Christ Ryan had lost it! he thought. It was then he realised Ryan hadn't dived on him again. He looked at him, come to think of it he hadn't moved from his spot lying up the stairs.

"What not jumping in for round 2?" EJ hissed sitting up. Touched his nose and winced.

Ryan was silent.

"O so your not speaking to me, like I care!" EJ muttered.

No reply or movement.

EJ stared at him for a second.

"Ry?" he asked. "C'mon I didn't even hit you that hard!"

He looked down at the rock that lay beside him. It was a fair size and heavy. It had a very sharp edge too.

"Ryan!" he asked worried turned him over. He rolled to the bottom of the stairs. Completely limp. His eyes closed. A small cut in his head was bleeding.

EJ panicked. He had no idea what to do. He shook him. "Ryan c'mon!" he pleaded.

A car pulled up. Missy climbed out, her eyes widened at the sight of her son unmoving and bleeding.

"Ryan?" she was on her knees beside him. She looked at him.

"What happened?" she asked. EJ.

Ryan groaned and moved his head. Grabbed it tightly.

"Ryan open your eyes, it's mum." she whispered and put her hand on his cheek.

He did and winced. Then he saw EJ and dived at him once again. Missy caught his shoulders and held him back.

"If you put me down you better keep me down coz when I get back up I'll kill you!" he raged.

"Ryan baby calm down." she soothed. "EJ go in the house and sit with Daniel." she urged.

EJ did as he was told.

"Let me go!" Ryan struggled.

"Ryan listen to me, calm down!" Missy knew it was no use. He inherited this part of his temper from her. When she hit a limit that was it, no one could reach her she had to resolve it on her own. Problem was she hadn't learned to control her own never mind anyone else's.

"We'll sort your head out first then we can sort everything else." she said trying to distract him.

"I'll sort EJ right now!" he pulled free and ran up the stairs to the house as he ran through the door a wave of dizziness hit him and he fell against the doorframe.

"RIGHT!" Missy yelled at him. Was beside him. "You are gonna calm down and sit still while I look at your head. If you try to move I will restrain you ok!" she warned.

Ryan looked at her.

"Ryan!" she hissed.

He exhaled and nodded. Sat down.

She sat opposite him. "So?" Missy asked looking at him.

"So." he replied belligerently.

"What happened?"

"Your not hearing anything from me!" he told her stubbornly, looking exactly like his dad at that moment.

She exhaled.

EJ walked out carrying ice and the first aid kit.

Ryan glared at him.

EJ offered the ice. Ryan looked at him the held out hid hand. EJ went to place the ice in his hand, Ryan moved his ahnd at the last second and the ice fell to the floor with a clatter.

"I should have known you'd fight!" she muttered.

"Your right Ryan, I am a psycho." EJ said softly.

Missy frowned. EJ looked at her. "We were fighting and I hit him in the head with a rock."

Missy's eyes widened. "You could have seriously hurt him!" she told him. Turned to Ryan. "And I asked you to walk away!"

Ryan meanwhile was rooting through the first aid kit. Ignoring both of them.

"He tried to walk away." EJ countered. "I provoked him." he admitted.

Missy exhaled and put her hand on her forehead. Lexi didn't need this right now!

"I just want to apologise to Ryan. This is the end of it. I won't say or do anything anymore. I'm sorry"

Ryan didn't look at him. Just wiped the blood off his head with cotton wool.

"EJ go to the spare room please. We'll talk later!"

EJ nodded.

"Right Ry, we're going to hospital!" Missy told him.

"NO Lexi will find out. She doesn't need this!" he said stubbornly.

"Ryan this isn't up for discussion!"

He stood up. "I know it's not. You can take me and you can have a doctor see me but you can't make me say or do anything I don't want to!"

Mother and son glared at each other.

"What happens if you collapse? It's your head Ry. Anything could be the matter!"

"Mum, Lexi doesn't need anymore stress ok. I'm not going!"

Missy rubbed her eyes. He had dug his heels in.

"If I feel unwell, anything I'll tell you." he promised.

"Stay close!" she told him. "And no retribution!"

Ryan's brown eyes darkened. "He deserves it!"

"Ryan!" she warned.

"He tried to cave my head in with a rock!" he hissed.

"Lexi doesn't need this!" she used his own words against him. His eyes narrowed.

"Fine!" sat back down and crossed his arms.

**A/N this chapter needed to b put in sum where so i put it here...**


	77. Sorted?

Zoey was aware of wakefulness coming to her. If she was dead that didn't mean you sleep right? Which meant someone had saved her! She turned her head and opened her eyes. Noticed the sunlight streaming through the windows. She had hoped the brightness was the so called pearly gates, the flash of light at the end of a tunnel some say you see. Nope it was the sun! She was still here, the pain in her wrists told her that more then anything else. Dead people weren't supposed to feel pain. She exhaled and looked around. Her mum and dad were asleep on chairs. Her dad's head was rested on the back of his chair, her mums rested on his arm. They were holding hands tightly even in sleep. God they were back together, she knew it! At least they were happy. They deserved it.

Lexi studied her parents then noticed the blood that covered her mothers head and clothes. Was that hers? Christ it had been her mother that saved her? She hadn't thought this through. What must her mother have gone through finding her like that? She would have been alone too coz her dad was at work and EJ was at school. Zoey felt guilt pool in her stomach. Her granddad came in carrying 3 cups of coffee.

"Zoey your awake." he whispered.

She nodded.

"How do you feel?" he asked softly.

She shrugged.

"You scared the life out of them!" he told her. "They only fell asleep an hour ago. Your dad is taking this especially hard. I know he's blaming himself!"

Zoey's shoulders slumped. "It was the only way at the time." she whispered. Still is now, she added silently.

"Killing yourself is never the way." he said softly.

Zoey felt anger rise. "You don't know anything, especially about me so don't try and tell me how to feel ok! Leave me alone!" she spat and then ignored him. Seethed in silence.

Ethan moved, tried to sit up. He opened his eyes and noticed Lexi asleep on his arm so he stayed still. He stretched a little, yawned and rubbed his eyes. It was then he noticed Zoey was awake.

"Zoey?" he asked.

"Hello dad." she said, trying to keep anger from her tone.

"Lex, Lex." Ethan whispered to the still sleeping Lexi.

Lexi opened one groggy eye. "Huh?"

"Zoey is awake." he told her.

Lexi's eyes zeroed on Zoey's. Zoey looked back, eves completely blank. Devoid of emotion. Lexi was up in a second and wrapped her arms around her. Hugged her tightly. "You scared us to death!" Lexi murmured.

"I figured." Zoey said dryly.

Lexi pulled back. "Zoey?"

Zoey looked at her mum, then her dad, then back to her mum. "Let's cut through all the bullshit, I hate my life, ok!"

"But, we thought you were getting better." Lexi told her.

Zoey raised her wrists. "Really?" Lexi visibly flinched.

"Zoey!" Ethan warned coldly.

"If you haven't figured yet I'm a good actress. I learned how to fake smiles….at a young age!" she spat. Crossed her arms.

Lexi winced at the barb.

"Zoey, don't start!" Ethan hissed.

"Why couldn't you have just left me huh? Isn't it MY choice what to do with my life?" she asked them. "If I don't want to be here then I shouldn't have to be!"

"Zoey, your 15. It gets better!" Lexi stressed sitting down again.

"Yeah, for NORMAL 15 year olds. Christ mum, I hate living like this!"

Lexi rubbed her eyes.

"Look Zoey stop talking like that. Your upsetting your mum!" Ethan told her.

"Shut up! Your not even my dad!" she fumed.

Ethan stood up.

"What you going? Let me show you the door, over there! Bye!" Zoey told him nastily.

"Lex, Danny, Zoey, see you later!" Ethan said politely then stalked out of the door.

"No you won't!" Zoey called after him.

"You went too far with your dad there Zoey! TOO FAR!" Lexi hissed angrily.

"You said it first. I heard, I'm just repeating what you said. This is YOUR fault mother." the Zoey crossed her arms.

"I'll go to see to Ethan Lexi." Danny told her. They both knew Ethan didn't think straight when he was like this.

"Bye Bye Danny!" Zoey said nastily.

"Zoey I'm warning you!" Lexi warned as her dad left.

Zoey sat up straight. "Is that threat supposed to scare me?" she laughed at her mother.

Lexi glared at her. Zoey glared back. Lexi was at a complete loss at what to do next, how did you handle a situation like this?

The door began to open, Zoey spat her final statement. "Why don't you and Ethan just go and die? Me and EJ will be far better off without you!"

Lexi gasped and her eyes filled.

The person stood in the doorway froze. "What the hell did you just say?" Amie asked coldly. She walked into the room towards her sister.

"No one spoke to you Amie!" Zoey turned on her aunt.

"Lex, you ok?" Amie asked, ignoring Zoey. Her back to her.

Lexi nodded and wiped her eyes. Amie motioned her down. "Pop outside a min yeah, compose yourself, get some air then come back in. I'll stay."

"But…." Lexi whispered.

Amie grinned. "I don't scare easily!"

Lexi nodded and walked outside.

Amie turned and looked at her niece.

(X)

Zoey opened her mouth to speak. Amie cut her off.

"You never speak to your mother in that manner!" Amie warned her.

"How do you know how to speak to a mother? You don't even have one, never had!"

Amie moved and in a second was stood beside her. She didn't touch her just lowered her voice dangerously. "It's a good thing you're a child and my niece coz a remark like that from anyone else would equal big trouble. I can go into a lot of detail about what I'd do to the person who said it. I do WORSE to people who mess with my family. Especially my sister!" Amie then straightened and crossed her arms. "Careful what you say to your mother Zoey. You only get one! Like you say I know that better then most!"

Zoey opened her mouth with a sharp retort.

"Push me Zoey!" she warned. "I told you what will happen!"

Zoey shut her mouth. They stared at each other. Neither backing down. The clock ticked slowly. Amie broke the silence. She had to admire the kids grit!

"Tell me what's going on, and don't lie ok?" Amie told her softly.

Zoey exhaled. "IF I tell you, will you tell mum and dad?"

"I will only tell them if you are gonna hurt yourself or someone else."

"What happens if knowing out them in danger?" Zoey whispered.

Amie frowned.

Zoey's face turned serious. "Look…..someone is messing with my head." she rubbed her face. "The past few weeks have been hell. Like one night I went to sleep and woke up to find one of William's coats draped across my head. The air full of his aftershave. A dummy with his photo in my wardrobe." she put her hands on her head. "It's getting worse and worse, before I…hurt myself I found a love letter from him along with a friend request on facebook." Zoey's eyes were filled with tears. "I can't take this anymore. I can't escape him. I never will!"

Amie sat on her bed. "If all this Is going on then why not tell your parents?"

"Coz William threatened to kill them! Trust me he's capable!"

Amie suddenly knew what Zoey was doing. "So that's why your pushing everyone away?"

"Yes and no." she paused and stared at her hands. "If I push them away maybe next time I…..maybe they'll let it happen. You know…."

Amie shook her head. "Look I'm not gonna pretend to understand why you did what you did coz to be honest I couldn't fully. I can't understand why anyone would feel the need to kill themselves. I sorta know the angle your coming from but only you fully know why your doing it BUT I know that you have people who love you around you and they'll never just 'let' you die without trying to save you."

"I can't live like this though Amie." she told her softly.

Amie lowered her voice. "Don't tell no one but I'll sort this. My team will sort this. They owe me a few favours I can call them in. whoever it is will be easy enough to trace now he's gone electronic."

Zoey frowned.

"Facebook." Amie elaborated. "IF it's William I go in and eliminate him. If not I'll make the person who is doing it wish they had never been born never mind heard the name Zoey Bell!" Amie assured.

"What happens if your found out? You could lose your job!"

"I'm secret service Zoey" she reminded. "The operative word being secret…..they trained me well!" Amie said cockily.

"You'd do that for me?"

"I have a few conditions!" Amie said seriously.

Zoey frowned.

"First of all apologise to your mum for what you said. Tell her you love her too. When she's gone that's it you'll never have these chances again!"

Zoey nodded.

"And please don't hurt yourself again. I worried myself sick over you!"

"Ok." she agreed nodding.

"Thanks." Amie breathed.

"How old were you when you lost your mum?" Zoey asked impulsively.

"6." Amie said softly. Eyes cloudy.

Zoey's eyebrows raised. "And your 21 now. Wow, do you miss her?"

Amie nodded. Surprised that in fact she did miss her mother. Missed the fact that she never got to know her. "Don't fall out with your mum Zoey. Or your dad. You don't know how lucky you are to have the parents you have. There are far worse out there!"

Zoey exhaled. "I'm sorry about the ciomment about your mum."

Amie shook her head. "I'm over it. Don't worry I have Miss anyway."

"Amie." Zoey asked hesitantly.

"Yeah?" she replied.

"Will you teach me some kick ass moves. You know….just in case."

Amie grinned and nodded. "Sure will! Start now?" she said.

(X)

Lexi walked back into her daughters room and saw Amie doing a slow spin with her arms in mid air. She dropped her arms as soon as Lexi walked in and grinned innocently. "Hello big sis." she said breezily.

"Amie." Lexi said suspiciously. "What were you doing then? With your arms?"

"With my arms?" Amie questioned innocently.

"Don't use that innocent tone with me Ames. you haven't been innocent since the say you were born!"

"Hey!" Amie yelped.

"AMIE!" Lexi fumed.

"Ok ok, I'll give!" Amie said and looked at Zoey.

Zoey's face fell. She should have known Amie would tell.

Amie resisted the urge to grin. This kid had so little faith! "Look Lex, this is well embarrassing but…..Zoey was giving me some pointers on how to dance."

"What?" Lexi asked in disbelief.

Amie nodded. "Yeah coz she had those dance lesson years ago. Zoey gave me pointers, apparently I have bad posture and 2 left feet." she said dryly. "A couple of lessons and she's an expert!" she muttered for effect. "I only asked coz I went out with Tom and seriously his feet were no more. Zoey was just showing me the best place to put my arms so I don't, what was it? Ah yes crush his ribs." Amie then shot Lexi a warning with her eyes. "Personally I prefer the rib crushing but there it is."

Lexi caught the warning, but had to still show her suspicion so Zoey didn't twig that Amie sent her a silent message. "Zoey?" she asked.

Zoey just shrugged not looking at her.

Lexi exhaled then and nodded.

Amie shot Zoey a quick victory grin. Zoey didn't react.

"You can come home now today Zoey." Lexi told her. "I just spoke to your doctor and your dad."

"Whoopee!" Zoey muttered under her breath.

Amie glanced over quickly. Zoey read her silent message.

"Look mum…..I'm sorry for being….difficult. I do love you." she whispered.

Lexi looked at Amie who was studying her nails intently. Lexi shook her head slightly.

"Thank you Zoey. That means a lot. And I love you too. I wish you weren't so hard on your dad."

"I'll just…" Amie pointed to the door. "I have some calls to make." She then winked at Zoey and nodded slightly.

As the door closed Zoey answered her mother. "Your hard on him too you know." Zoey replied. "Why say something like that to him, I mean God you don't say that unless it's true right?"

"I was young and stupid and scared." Lexi told her.

"Scared? Of what?"

Lexi sat down. "Zoey when I was 15 I…." she exhaled. "I had cancer."

Zoey's mouth dropped open. "Oh god!" she whispered.

"Leukaemia." she said at the question in Zoey's eyes.

Zoey frowned. "Is that why dad goes mental when you have a cold?"

Lexi frowned.

"I read it in a book." she answered. "It's a symptom right?"

"Yeah." Lexi told her.

They were both silent for a little bit. "Whoa mum." Zoey breathed. "That's just…..god!"

Lexi smiled though it held no humour. "Yeah, that's what I was like too!"

Zoey frowned. "What has that got to do with dad though?"

"When I was pregnant with you we thought it had come back!"

"Flipping hell!"

"My language was little more colourful then that! Your dad, he was beside himself. Terrified that he was gonna lose the both of us. He started saying that I had to have treatment. I had no choice. He TOLD me. Said all the stuff he could do if I tried to refuse. Like have me sectioned."

"Why would you ref…..ahhhh…..me." she exhaled. "So what happened?"

"Thankfully my leukaemia hadn't came back." Lexi looked at her face. "Don't blame your dad. I was an accident waiting to happen back them. He'd almost lost us before then. I was stabbed while working on the ambulance. I was 6 weeks pregnant with you at the time."

"Wow!" Zoey breathed.

"Your dad, when he found out about the illness, he just flipped out. And what I said, about him not being your dad. That was inexcusable." she exhaled remembering the devastation in his face. "There has never been any doubt in my mind who your father is. And I know he never doubted either. He told me the best days of his life were when you and EJ were born."

Zoey was shaking her head. "I don't blame him mum. He loves you. He was trying to take care of you."

The door opened and her dad walked in, followed by Ethan.

"The doctor is coming to look over Zoey Lex. Then if everything is fine you can go home." Ethan murmured. "I've gotta get to work though. See you Lex, Danny, Zoey." then he strode from the room.

Lexi looked at dad who shrugged apologetically.

Lexi exhaled. "Typical Ethan!" she muttered.

"Your just like your dad!" Danny said to Zoey.


	78. More Trouble For Zoey?

Zoey got her all clear and was taken home. Her mother never left her side. They had just climbed from the car after arriving at home. Lexi kept glancing at Zoey nervously.

"Amie spoke to me. I'm not gonna do it again."Zoey said dryly. Amie was sorting this for her. Hopefully she could too!

"I wonder where she is actually." Lexi mused.

"Who me?" Amie walked up behind Lex.

"Christ Amie!" Lexi yelped and jumped.

Amie laughed. "No matter how many times I do that or who I do it to, it never gets old!"

Zoey smiled and Amie winked. "It's in hand." she breathed in her ear as she passed Zoey.

Zoey's eyes widened. Already? She thought.

Amie nodded, her eyes hard. She had the name and she was sorting him tonight, well them actually!

"Amie your scaring your big sister, you look like you wanna hurt someone!" Lexi told her.

"Don't worry Lex, it isn't you!"

Zoey went to walk inside. "Zoey me and your dad need to talk to you and you can't go in your room. It hasn't been cleaned up yet."

"I'll sort it." Zoey offered

"No you won't!" Lexi told her.

"I will." Amie spoke up.

"No you won't." Lexi repeated.

Amie rolled her eyes. "I'm here to help you Lex."

"You already have, more then you will ever know!"

Amie looked shifty over her sisters words. All she'd done was go mental over a phone.

Zoey walked inside, Lexi launched at her sister.

Amie yelped.

Lexi had her wrapped in a tight embrace.

"Lex don't take this the wrong way but your seriously scaring me!" Amie murmured. They weren't the huggy, touchy type. They knew they cared, that was it.

"Amie I'll never be able to repay you done for me, us."

"Aw Lex…." Amie began uncomfortably.

"We almost lost her Ames. if she hadn't of got to hospital when she did….." Lexi trailed off.

Amie was taken aback by that statement, felt her spine stiffen. Samuel and Boom were gonna suffer for this! AFTER she had got some info from them! "Lex you don't owe me anything, we're family. You'd do the same for me."

"But Amie…."

"NO buts Alexis!" Amie told her sternly.

"I'm here anytime Amie. For anything." Lexi reminded, releasing her from her tight hug.

"I already knew that Lex." She smiled. "Thank God you let go of me. I was about to start screaming for help!" she said trying to inject lightness into the conversation. "I nearly completely lost my tough guy image!"

Lexi made a face. "We all know you act tough on the outside but your soft as butter inside."

Amie put her finger to her mouth. "Ssshhh someone might hear you!"

Lexi smiled. "What were you and Zoey talking about at the hospital then? You know the arms?"

Amie shook her head. "Can't tell you."

"Ames!"

"It would be like Miss telling mum our secrets!" Amie stressed. "Believe me if she, you or anyone was in danger rest assured that I'd tell you!" Amie stressed. "As it is I have this in hand!"

Lexi turned pensive. "Your not gonna kill anyone are you?" Lexi asked seriously.

Amie kept silent. If she found William she'd gladly take him out. And do the time too. Zoey had her whole life ahead of her. She deserved to grow up and live her life without fear!

"Christ Amie, your not are you?" Lexi asked in disbelief.

"Stuff needs to be done Lex. I can do it!" Amie told her simply. "I can't be there for her emotionally, or even physically. But I can damn well kick someone's ass for her!"

"But killing someone?"

"There is only person I will do that to, and you and Ethan wouldn't blame me. Anyone else I'll…..mess with a little. A warning."

Lexi paled. "Is all this necessary?"

"Totally!" Amie said seriously.

Lexi exhaled. "And your doing all this for Zoey?"

"I promised her I'd sort this and I will. And before you say anything else can I remind you once again that you are family!"

Lexi raised her hands in surrender. "As long as you know what your doing!"

Amie grinned. "Oh I do!" she assured.

Lexi stared at her for a second. "You like this on like missions and stuff?"

Amie thought. "Probably worse if I'm being honest."

"I pity the people who come up against you then!" Lexi told her not at all in fun.

Amie shrugged. "Hey, it's me!"

"You got a touch of arrogance in there little sis!" Lexi told her playfully.

"What you call arrogance, I call self assuredness. But still call it what you want I still kick ass!"

Lexi marvelled at her younger sister. She hadn't had the best of starts in some ways. Spent the first 5 years of her life without her dad. He come back only for her to lose her mother less than a year later and yet here she was. Confident, cocky, arrogant, no make that self assured. She was loyal and tenacious. "Amie…."

Amie looked at Lexi.

"I'm really proud of you."

Amie froze. "What?" her face perplexed.

"I'm proud of you."

"Really? You mean my arrogance doesn't piss you off?" Amie asked in shock.

"I thought you called it self assuredness."

"Whatever it is I'm still annoying!"

Lexi laughed. "Well yes, I'm irritated but proud."

Amie shifted from one foot to the other. "Thanks Lex." she whispered. Kicking at the mud with the toe of her trainer.

"Your welcome. But it's true."

Amie's beeper went off. Amie exhaled and shook her head. "Never a minute's peace!" she hissed. Checked and saw it was Sparky. Smiled. "I gotta go Lex, can I borrow your phone?"

Lex nodded. "Not if it's to call a boy mind." she said in a old woman scratchy voice.

"Yes mother." Amie replied in a petulant voice.

They walked up the stairs side by side.

(X)

Amie dialled her number and looked around. Saw the coast was clear. She still lowered her voice. If Lexi knew what she had planned she would stop her.

"You got the info I need Sparko?"

There was silence. "Yes!" she scribbled it down. Frowning when she noticed the words looked jumbled to her. Her freaking fucked up brain! She ignored it.

"Thanks Sparko I owe you millions for this one. You need anything and Lucko is here."

Pause.

"Yeah the 'O' on the end of our names does annoy everyone, hilarious ain't it!"

Pause.

"What it annoys you too? O well hard cheese Sparko!"

Pause.

"I'd say bite me but you probably would!"

Pause.

Amie laughed. "Ok, and I can't promise I won't go too far she's my niece but I can promise if it all hit's the fan you won't be held accountable in any way!"

Pause.

"I know you don't care and leave Tom alone. He's a good guy really." she laughed. "Yeah and I'll give you all the gory details too!" Amie grinned. "See ya Sparko."

Pause.

"Yeah I love you too." she replied at his derogatory leaving comment.

She put the phone back in the cradle and nodded. Sorted. Folded her info and put it n her pocket. Went to help her sister clean up her nieces' room.

(X)

A few hours later Amie had left after assuring Zoey that everything would be sorted in an hour or two. She refused to give her any details like who it was, where they were and what she was doing but she did promise her that they wouldn't go near her again.

Now Zoey was sat in the sitting room looking at her parents. She wrung her hands.

"Zoey about…." her mum began.

"I'm not gonna do it again if that's what your worried about." Zoey interrupted.

"Well yeah we were - it's something else though." Ethan began. "That scar on your stomach….it wasn't there after you came back from William. The doctor told us it looked recent."

Zoey covered her face with her hands.

"God Zoey, why?" Lexi asked.

"Does it matter now? It's done!" Zoey said muffled.

"Well yeah baby, coz if you done it once you could do it again!" Lexi said softly.

Zoey used one hand to rub her face. Searching for words. "It's the only way I knew to cope, to I dunno,…." she exhaled. "Feel something…anything! It's hard!"

Lexi and Ethan glanced at each other.

"Look when he had me at the beginning I fought him right, hit back, cursed him everything and he liked it. Got off on it to an extent, so I turned off my feelings. The only time I felt anything when I was there was when he…" God she couldn't believe she was telling her parents this! "Was when he hit me. I sorta like blanked it Blanked the emotions. All of it. I only ever felt hatred. I still feel that, the hatred and the emptiness. Not happiness or relief or ANYTHING! I need to feel something else, so I know I'm not emotionally stunted! And pain well, it reaffirms that I'm alive and CAN feel!" she again covered her face.

Ethan stared at his daughter. She had everything backwards in her head. "Look Zoey this stuff takes time." he said softly.

"Yeah and in the meantime I'm losing my mind waiting!" she retorted.

"Mum, dad." EJ walked in.

"We're busy right now EJ." Lexi answered.

"But…." EJ began.

"We'll talk later ok son?" Ethan murmured.

EJ stood there mouth open. He was tempted to say hello I'm here but they probably wouldn't hear him. They hadn't even looked at him to answer him. They're focus was 100 percent on Zoey. The IMPORTANT child. The child they actually LOVED! He stomped from the room.

"Look Zoey." Ethan carried on to her. "If you want help to get better, help managing how you feel we can do that!" Ethan told her.

Zoey stayed quiet.

"You could see a counsellor." he added.

"Who'll want to know all the gory details. Expect me to spill all these dark secrets. I can't talk about this yet! I don't know if I ever will ok!"

"Maybe that's why you feel this way baby." Ethan suggested. "Repressing it isn't healthy. Acting like it didn't happen won't work!"

"How could I pretend that it didn't happen? I have reminders every day that it did!" she spat and crossed her arms.

Ethan exhaled defeated.

"Zoey you could try to talk to someone." Lexi asked.

"Try?" Zoey asked in disbelief. "Thinking about it makes me feel bad actually putting it into words will only force me to…..well you know. There are no words to describe the way he made me feel! I went through all this crap once at the police station. Telling an absolute stranger in detail how and what happened so they could make sure he was charged correctly. Got the right amount of rape charges and abductions and sex with a minor and kidnapping. Christ!" her eyes filled, her throat tightened. "You weren't there as I told them, I was physically ill having to relive it. I refuse to go through it again. Living it was bad enough. Retelling it to the police was almost worse. No way, no more! And if your wondering how reliving it is worse I'll tell you, in reality I know he'll stop eventually, when I relive it, it just goes on and On and ON!" she stood up sharply, picked up the lamp and threw it off the wall. "SEE what this does to ME?" she fumed breathing heavily. "I need…. I just….." she grabbed her head and burst into tears.

"Lex." Ethan murmured knowing she wouldn't appreciate a man touching her right now.

Lexi calmed Zoey down and they sat. Zoey fidgeted more.

"It isn't that I don't trust you two it's just…." Zoey trailed off. At the moment she wasn't telling them about someone messing with her coz she wanted to keep them safe.

Lexi nodded.

"We get it Zoey. Your room is sorted if you wanna go in there and calm yourself properly."

"Door open!" Ethan told her sternly.

Zoey looked at her dad, knowing the trust was gone, exhaled and then walked off into her room.

"Whatever is going on Amie is involved. Up to her neck!" Lexi told him. "She mentioned earlier she was sorting something but I have the feeling after what she said that it is going further then that."

Ethan nodded. "Why can't she let US help her? We're her parents!"

"She's scared of something Eth." Lexi replied lost in thought. Worried about her younger sister and her daughter.

EJ walked in. His parents didn't notice. What a surprise he was invisible again. He went to walk out but then decided against it. Decided to try a little experiment.

"Hey do you mind if I go out?"

His parents nodded.

"You know like to play with the traffic?" he suggested.

His mother said something to his dad, disregarding what he said.

"Or how about I just go in a lion pen and play tag with the lions?" he added.

"Ok son." his parents chorused.

EJ's eyes widened, he couldn't believe this shit! He stomped away into his room and slammed the door he felt anger roll off him in waves. Why was he here? They didn't want him! They had their little girl! He though with a sneer. Screw them, ALL of them! He punched the wall in rage, felt pain streak up his hand. And as for Zoey, she went back on her promise. That made the one HE made null and void. He still had that tablet Samuel had gave him. You know what? He was gonna try it. She didn't care enough about him to keep her promise. His parents didn't care enough about him to even know he was alive so why not? No one cared about him so why should he care about himself?

He went to his table and took the pill from a little box in there. He looked at it as it lay in his hand. Felt second thoughts raise, but he squashed them. Let's see how Zoey likes being let down! He raised the hand that held the pill to his mouth. A knock at the door startled him, then someone walked in.

"Hey EJ I came to apol…." Zoey walked in and saw he had a white pill raised, "What the hell?" she fumed.

"Go away Zoey, I can do this if I want!"

She ran over and snatched the pill from his hand. "No your not!"

He grabbed for it but she moved. "Give it to me!"

"Make me!" she hissed and bolted from his room into her own. Slammed the door.

EJ quickly followed her and closed the door behind him.

"Zoey door open!" Ethan called.

Neither Zoey or EJ heard their fathers request, they were too busy running around her room.

"Zoey!" EJ warned.

She made a lunge for her window. EJ grabbed one of her arms and she struggled.

The bedroom door burst open and EJ released her. Zoey hid her hands behind her back.

"I told you door open!" their father seethed. He then took in the angry look on their faces. "What was going on in here?"

"Nothing!" Zoey said far too quickly.

Ethan had saw the way EJ had been grabbing her. Now her hands were behind her back. Didn't take a genius to figure out what happened.

"What is behind your back Zoey?" Ethan asked.

She paled. "Nothing!"

"Show me your hands!" Ethan told her.

She looked at her dad uncomfortably.

"Zoey!" Ethan walked towards her and moved her hands from behind her back. They were tight fists. "Show me!" he demanded grateful that she hadn't been hiding a knife.

"Dad." she said.

"ZOEY!"

She exhaled and opened her left fist. It was empty.

"Right!" he told her when she hesitated.

She looked at EJ accusingly then opened her fist. A small white pill lay in her palm.

Ethan stared at it for a moment. Shocked into silence. "Christ Zoey!" he boomed. "Drugs!"

"But it isn't….." she began.

"I don't wanna hear it! I know and understand your having problems but drugs? Your smarter then this!"

Zoey looked at EJ, who stayed silent. She narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. "What do you expect dad? I'm Zoey! I run away, I hurt myself, I have a fucked up head AND a fucked up family to go with it!"

"Don't start with that Zoey! We have nothing to do with this! You're the one choosing to walk this path!" he seethed. "Where did you get this?"

Zoey smirked at EJ. "HIS friends, he set me up! He's like my little dealer aren't you little bro."

EJ paled but Zoey carried on.

"He knew I was having problems and wanted so badly to help me didn't you!" she spat at him. "And voila instant help, instant happiness!"

"Don't bring your brother into this Zoey. He's done nothing wrong!" Ethan fumed.

EJ stared at his dad mouth open. Not believing that he hadn't believed what Zoey said.

"O of course he hasn't!" She yelled. "He never does! Get out of my room Ethan, BOTH of you!"

"You think this ends here Zoey? Drugs is a whole other level from what you did previously!" Ethan told her. "How can we ever trust you again?"

Zoey looked at EJ square in the eye. "I hate you!" she said venomously. Then stomped from her room. Her dad following closely behind her.

**A/N poor zoey, things aren't goin well 4 her atm, next chapter is amie sorting out the people messing wi zo :D x**


	79. Captives

Amie prowled around Leopards Den restlessly. She just had to wait for it to get dark. Everything was ready to go. It wasn't in her nature to wait. O she knew that she had to on missions and forced herself to comply too but she was more of a go in and get 'em! Run in there head first and to hell with the consequences. Waiting made her feel on edge. She couldn't mess this up though, if she did life for Zoey could become unbearable. She felt anger building at what those bastards had already did to her! She came walking from behind the house to the front. She knew exactly how she was gonna get them! A car pulled up, her dad didn't mention that they had tourists staying.

A short woman with auburn hair and hazel eyes climbed from the car and paid the driver. Amie felt her hands clench into fists and her anger built even more. She had been warned what would happen if SHE came back here! Amie strode over quickly. Her movements short and jerky from anger.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Amie fumed.

Amy looked the other Amie up and down. "I could say the same about you. Shouldn't you be like in some country doing the governments dirty work?"

"Don't push me Amy!"

"Or even arrested? We know your volatile!" Amy goaded.

Amie would show her volatile in a minute! She decided against it and decided to beat her at her own game. "I live here! My FAMILY is here" Amie said smugly, putting emphasis on the word family.

"My boyfriend is here, along with my mother." Amy retorted.

"Daniel will see what you are soon enough and as for Miss, she has me. She doesn't need you. You don't deserve her!"

"Not for long!" Amy said low enough for only Amie to hear. "See I know how I'm gonna get you back for embarrassing me and pushing me. I'm gonna take your mother from you!" Amy said nastily. "Say goodbye to another mother Amie. She has her REAL daughter now!"

Amie saw red at her threat and grabbed her by the collar.

Amy's hands stayed by her side. Knowing she had Amie exactly where she wanted her. "Go on Amie. Miss and Daniel will both know who done it. Go on and alienate your bother and mother in one fast swoop. And if you think they won't know I'll gladly tell them. They know how volatile you can be especially with how we left it last time. They'll know you'd be taking revenge. Who do you think they'll believe. Me or you?" she whispered looking her directly in the eye.

Amie froze knowing every word was true.

Amy smiled and removed Amie's hand from her collar and flung it down forcefully. "Don't lay one finger on me again got it!"

"I swear I'll get you Amy. I don't know how, or when but I promise they'll see your true colours!"

"I look forward to it Amie! Don't wait too long!" Amy then laughed and walked away.

Amie watched the other Amy's retreating form. Her heart pounding, blood boiling. She shook with rage. She yearned to go after her and pound her face into the mud. No one was taking Miss away from her! Missy would never do that to her. Missy loved her! The doubts began to set in without permission. Missy had put up with a lot of Amie's crap as she grew up, more so now then ever. Amie knew she wasn't the easiest of people to love. What if…..NO! Amie's anger built to mammoth proportions. Now Amie was doubting Missy's love. She ran to her truck and climbed in. She had to get away from here before she did something stupid, like go find Amie and sort her out. She had things to do first. She'd sort Zoey's problem then she'd sort this other Amy. Once and for all!

(X)

Dark had finally fallen. Amie was crouched in the darkness. Eyes fixed on an empty house. She had looked around the house. No one was in so she hid in the shade waiting. She finally saw a man walk up to the house and let himself in. Lights came on. Amie crept up to a window that had a crack and checked the man. Sparky had emailed her his police mug shot. That was a wizard with computers. He actually hacked into the police records! She studied his face, yup this guy was her man! She saw him approaching and flattened her self flat against the wall. She could have swore she felt his breathing above her head even though there was wall between them. She heard him shut the curtains and nodded. Moved quickly, she didn't have much time! She arrived back at her car climbed in and rove in the direction of his house. Smiled evilly, he wants to mess with little girls, lets see how he likes this. He didn't even have the tenth of the imagination she had!

Amie drove and as she approached his house she jerked the car abit, making the wheels squeal then suddenly she killed the engine.

"Dammit!" she shouted loudly climbing from the car. She saw a curtain move from the corner of her eye. She made big play of frowning at her car and putting her hand on her head. Light appeared behind her,

"You ok?" a man called.

Amie grinned. Hook line and sinker! She spun wiping her grin away.

"My car died." she said in a ditzy voice. "I'm rubbish!"

"You want some help?" he asked.

She took a step back playing her part well. "No." she said softly.

"You don't have to be scared of me I'm a good guy, honest!" he assured.

She frowned.

"Scouts honour!"

"What's your name?" she asked hesitantly.

"Boom." he replied. "Yours?"

"Amie." she replied.

"See we're friends now." he told her happily.

He'd never be her friend! "Can you look at my engine?"

He nodded, walked around to her hood. As soon as his back was to her she struck. Base of the skull. He was knocked clean out. She dragged him to the back seat of her car. Threw him in. Drove to a quiet spot and tied him up then carried on driving. Her little helper all ready and waiting in the bush.

Amie reached her destination and went to the back of her car. Dragged her still unconscious captive from the car. He flopped from the car and hit his head off the hard ground. He groaned. She tugged him towards two large trees. Rifled through her bag for one of her large ropes. Tied one end of the rope around his ankles and threw the other end over a strong branch.

"What….where." he started groggily.

"Shut up!" she hissed.

She rifled his pockets and found his phone. Ran through his numbers and text his brother Samuel. Hinted that they were gonna play another trick on Zoey. Samuel text back immediately that he'd be there soon.

"Now we wait!" Amie murmured. Then she gagged Boom and began to pull the rope.

(X)

Amie finally heard footsteps approaching. She moved back into the blackness. She edged towards Samuel on soundless feet. He didn't know what was gonna hit him! She moved quickly had his arms restrained behind his back before he could even blink.

"What?" he yelped and began to fight.

"I have you now boy!" she fumed. "Let's go see big brother huh?"

Samuel jerked and bucked but Amie held him solidly. Pushed him in the direction his brother was.

Samuel froze when he saw his brother suspended in midair. Hanging upside down by his feet. Amie used this distraction to her advantage and tied his hands in seconds.

"Your turn!" she told him happily.

"No way!" he declared.

Amie spun him so he was looking at her. "I don't remember giving you a choice!"

Samuel kicked out.

She moved quickly and removed his legs from under him. He hit the ground with an oomph.

"Ah ah!" she warned. "Play nicely now, you don't me getting rough!"

He fought her so Amie obliged by doing the same to him. She tied him tightly then strung him up beside his brother.

Amie stood and grinned at them. She noticed they were wearing matching looks of hatred. "Oh isn't this just perfect symmetry?" she clapped joyfully.

Samuel swore at her.

"O Boom, I apologise, your gag is stopping you from replying." She skipped over and pulled his gag down. He proceeded to spit at her. She ducked just in time.

Her fists clenched. "You shouldn't have done that. My little friend doesn't like bad manners. And if he don't like you your stuffed, see he's kinda partial to human flesh! Don't think he even minds if your rotten to the core!"

Boom and Samuel paled. Amie skipped away.

"I hope you guys understand why I had to bring reinforcements, see a woman alone can't be too careful! There's crazy people in the world you know!"

"What do you want?" Boom demanded.

"Your in no position to be speaking to me like that!" Amie said cockily. "Say please." she added sweetly.

Both Samuel and Boom stayed quiet.

"Please." Samuel finally relented.

"SAM!" Boom hissed.

"Since I was asked nicely," Amie disregarded Boom's yell. "I shall tell you. This is a warning, of sorts. But let me tell you this if far far more then that. Maybe like a demonstration. Yes that's it a demonstration of what I'm capable of….if pushed!"

"What about? Why" Samuel asked.

"Don't you mean who?" Amie asked coldly. "Who is this for?" she offered her eyes hard.

They looked at her puzzled.

"Zoey Bell!" she yelled. Paced from side to side looking at them intently. "See, " she started in a calm voice. "She told me EVERYTHING! And I'm not happy now. You made me angry. Very angry. Angry Amie isn't good Amie. Angry Amie is unstable Amie!" she hissed. "And you two enraged me! Who do you think you are messing with my niece in that way! Payback is gonna be a bitch!" she told them.

"You just made it 10 times worse for her then!" Boom yelled.

Amie's face hardened. "I don't think so Boom. Your not leaving here alive. Either of you!"

The two brothers glanced at each other and she smiled.

"You won't kill us!" Boom told her smugly.

"Oh no no no no, not ME! I'll be right back!"

She jogged off to where she had hid her truck. Amie backed the truck towards them slowly. A cage was in the back covered by a sheet. Amie climbed out.

"You were right Boom, I won't lay on finger on you. But him….." she pulled the sheet off and they were looking at a hungry adult lion.

"He will though! It'll be hard work for him, seeing as your sorta hanging upside down!" she smiled evilly.

The lion chose that moment to roar loudly.

"Oooo hungry!" Amie said happily. Looked at the men. "Maybe it will be quick, not painless but quick."

Both Boom and Samuel began wiggling frantically trying to get free.

"Oh didn't I mention the more you struggle the tighter the ropes and knots become. See I'm trained." she said proudly.

They stopped. She couldn't quite see their faces clearly but the terror was evident. Their fear was palatable.

"Now here is the plan." Amie told them. "I am going to leave, my little friend here will keep you company. I gotta go find someone. For Zoey of course." she dropped a hint.

"Who?" Samuel yelped. "We could help you!"

Amie looked at them in mock disbelief. "I don't think so. After what you did to Zoey?"

"We won't go near her again!" he promised, voice shaking.

"I don't believe you." Amie told them simply.

"Who are you looking for?" Boom asked. Trying and failing to sound nonchalant.

"William. He's a dealer." For some reason Sparky could find no record of him, anywhere.

"I know him." Boom told her. "His address. I'll give it to you if you release us."

"And Zoey?" she questioned.

"No more." Boom promised. "I have a new focus now!" he told her pointedly.

Amie laughed.

"Let me tell you, warn you actually if you do anything else she WILL come to me. Let me spell this out clearly for you, if I hear one word of Zoey being scared, frightened, messed with in any way there will be none of this. I'll take you out in seconds. You won't know what's happening until it does. And I'm gonna trust you to give me a real address coz if it isn't real then…I will hunt you down wherever you run to and make what this lion was gonna do look like child's play!"

Boom nodded.

"Address."

He rattled it off.

Amie took out her knife from her belt and cut the rope that held then aloft. They tumbled to the floor.

"Just so you know Amie, I will have my revenge!" Boom warned as she cut the rope open that held his feet.

"I look forward to it!" she told him. "You mess with me though not my niece."

"What I did to her is nothing compared to what I'm really capable of!" Boom warned.

"Bring it on!" Amie told him laughing. Cut the ropes of Samuel's feet. He kicked out. She grabbed his ankle and twisted it painfully. "I warned you about the rough stuff!" she said as Samuels face contorted.

She stood up. "I'm gonna leave your hands tied for safety reasons I know you understand. Boom no doubt I'll be seeing you in the future, and remember NO ZOEY or I'll kill you both!"

"Yeah right!" Boom spat.

"One final thing!" she told them as she climbed in the truck. "I'm in the army. I've killed people before so 2 more?" she shook her head. "No big deal. Toodles."

She put the truck in gear and drove off. Mentally telling herself where she hid her car. She had to take this lion back to the house and come back for it. She had another task tonight. She didn't kill Boom or Samuel but this guy! He was gonna suffer!

(X)

Amie parked a little way away from the house a little under an hour later scoped the outside. The house was in complete darkness. She heard her mothers voice in her head nagging not to go in. It was suddenly pleading. She ignored her mothers voice for the first time.

'_Please Amie please don't go in there!' _Alice begged.

"Shut up!" Amie whispered. "I need to concentrate!"

'_I warned you Amie!' _Alice said softly.

"Yeah you did, so go away!" Amie muttered. "I can handle this!" Her mothers voice quieted.

Amie looked above her head and saw an open window at the back of the house. Easy entry. Good. She climbed up the drainpipes. These pipes were great for breaking and entering. She had her feet braced on the wall and her hands gripped the black plastic. She reached across and grabbed the window ledge she swung her body so she gripped the ledge and her feet were below the window. She felt like spider man! She lunged upwards and grabbed the edge of the open window. She heaved herself and reached inside the open window to open the big one. She moved her side and pushed the window open. It opened wide like a door. She half walked up the wall then put her feet inside. She swung inside and landed on her feet soundlessly. She grinned. O she was good!

Her smile faded as she looked around the room. It was like a shrine to her niece. Clothes stood on dolls. The whole back wall was photographs of her. Amie didn't wanna look at them too closely. In case they were…bad. RIGHT! She tore all the photographs down placed them in a metal bin and set fire to them. She then tore up the clothes into tiny shreds. Bastard!

She was so intent on what she was doing that she didn't hear her mother yelling at her to move. She didn't notice a man sneaking towards her quietly. The man reached forward jabbed a needle into her arm and pressed the plunger in.

"OW!" she hissed and spun.

Immediately her eyes began to blur and the room started to wobble, or was that her? She saw a mouth moving on a unfamiliar face. She couldn't hear the words. She fell to her knees. Fast acting drug, her hazy mind told her. Get up and fight! Her brain demanded. Her heavy arms refused to do her bidding she fell sideways and didn't move again.

William looked down at his new partner and smiled. She had came to him straight from dream, he found her in his house waiting. "Your not my Zoey but your young like her. You'll do." he said happily. He knew she wouldn't behave like Zoey had. She wouldn't leave him. He had learned from Zoey anyway. "I learned. I won't lose anyone else! You'll never leave me. EVER!" he said softly to Amie's unconscious form.

**A/N me thinks amie got a little 2 cocky there for her own good, and now william has her...keep reading x**


	80. Individual Problems

**The Next Morning**

Zoey sat on the veranda feeling betrayed. Her dad sat across from her. She hadn't been left alone since her dad found the drugs on her. When her mother had been told she had went into complete meltdown! She supposed it was better they thought it was her then EJ in one way. They were only worrying about her, rather then both of them. Didn't mean she had to like that he parents thought she was as stupid as HIM! The look her parents had gave her, it was a mixture of disbelief and disappointment. She had disappointed her parents over something she hadn't even done! EJ didn't even care, if situations had been reversed she would have told them but NO he kept his mouth shut and now she lived life with a second shadow. Her dad was sat down with a pen and paper nodding and mumbling to himself. Every so often he would write something down.

"What you doing dad?" she asked.

"Something I haven't done in years." he admitted.

She looked at him.

"I'm writing a song."

"You write songs?"

"Well, not a song as such, when I was your age I used to write lyrics." He had found his old pad from years ago. Some of the lyrics had been good if he did say so himself. Alot of the early ones had been dark and cold, the hate he felt towards his father had flowed through them. Thankfully he had mellowed since then. He had nothing to do so he decided to give it a try. Venting his frustration through words.

"Whoa." Zoey murmured. "Can I ask what your song is about?"

Ethan looked down at his words. "Your mother." he whispered.

"You write songs for mum?"

"I used to all the time. She never saw them though."

Zoey nodded letting her dad get back to it. They sat in companionable silence.

"Is it hard? To write songs?" she asked.

He shrugged.

"I haven't really thought of it. It's just something I do, it's not like anyone sees or hears them so it doesn't matter. I always thought of it as poetry to be honest."

Zoey was rubbish at poetry.

They heard a door open in the house, footsteps running then a door slam. Her dad frowned and cocked his head inside the house.

"You can go in dad." she told him.

He looked at her and raised his eyebrows.

This irked her. "Don't worry my dealer isn't on his way!"

Ethan's eyes narrowed. "You shouldn't have turned to drugs Zoey."

She shook her head and exhaled. She hadn't. She loathed and detested drugs. "Go on dad, I won't move. I swear."

"I'll be 5 minutes." he said.

"I know." she breathed.

Ethan walked into the house and saw EJ in the kitchen. So it was Lex who was ill! She'd been looking peaky for the last few days. He arrived at the bathroom door and knocked. "Lex."

He winced when he heard her being noisily sick.

"I'm coming in ok." he called. Opened the door and saw her sat on the floor arms crossed across her knees which were pulled up to her chest. Her head rested on them. "I knew it!" she was muttering.

Ethan got her a glass of water, handed it to her.

"You get yourself back to bed, I can handle the kids." he told her.

She took the glass from him and swished the cold water around her mouth.

"You'll be fine in a few days Lex." he assured.

She rubbed her eyes and felt tears well. How were they gonna handle this? She covered her face with her hands.

"Lex?" he asked concerned. "I'm worried about you, it isn't your cancer back is it?" his voice shook.

"Don't worry Ethan I know what's the matter and it isn't that." she looked up at him. "I think I'm pregnant."

Ethan froze. Lexi pregnant?

"If your wondering you're the only man in a while, if you count back the days it coincides with…..us. And if I remember correctly we weren't careful."

He put his hand on his head. They didn't need this now! "Whoa!" he whispered.

"Yeah." Lexi said dryly.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"I haven't done a test yet but I'm over a week late and now I'm ill and craving liquorice and ice cream."

Same as with Zoey he remembered.

"What are we gonna do?" he wondered out loud. They weren't even together and Zoey needed their full focus.

"What can we do? It's here now!" Lexi replied.

He nodded. "We'll get through this, I know it!"

She nodded in agreement. He helped her up to standing. Saw her chewing on her lower lip. "C'mere." he said and pulled her close for a hug. She cried silent tears into his shoulder. "Everything will be ok, I promise." he murmured. He then exhaled. How in the hell were they gonna sort this one?

(X)

"Amie breakfast!" Danny called as he knocked on his youngest daughters bedroom door.

No answer.

"Amie." he called again.

Still no reply. He opened the door expecting her to be sprawled on her stomach burrowing under her purple covers, instead the sight that greeted him was a neatly made bed.

"Huh?"

He walked back into the kitchen. "Miss do you know what time Amie came home last night?"

"You came to bed later then me." she replied biting into her toast.

"Yeah I did." he breathed. After 12 and she still wasn't in. He rubbed his jaw. "Her bed hasn't been slept in." he said worriedly.

"Her and Lex were hanging out yesterday, she probably crashed there." Missy assured.

"Yeah your right." he leant down and kissed her softly. "Just think, 4 months time." he grinned excitedly.

"Yeah, the wedding of the century!" she agreed. "Starring, yours truly!"

She stood up and he pulled her close, kissed her heatedly, hungrily.

They heard someone clear their throat and looked up to see Daniel shaking his head. They pulled apart.

"It's a little early." he muttered.

Danny and Missy shrugged. She sat back down, getting back to her toast and paperwork.

"Anyway," Daniel carried on. "We have a visitor."

Amy appeared from behind him.

"She did arrive last night but….." he trailed off.

"Yeah, too much info son." Danny said smiling.

"Least you don't have to see it!" Daniel muttered playfully.

"Hello!" Amy said. Smiling at the banter between father and son.

"Hello Amy." Danny said. Walked over and hugged her.

"Hey." she replied smiling. "Hello Missy." she said to Melissa.

"Hello Amy." Missy replied.

"How have you been?" Amy asked.

"I've been fine thanks, you?"

"I'm really good!" she then twined her hands with Daniel's. Looked up at him and smiled.

Missy and Danny looked at each other and smiled, there was no denying the depth of emotion between Daniel and Amy.

"Breakfast time." Danny declared. They all sat down. Ryan sauntered in running his hands through his messy hair. Amy looked at him as he yawned and sat down. She saw herself in him slightly. He looked to much like his dad for him to look completely like her but it was definitely there in the eyes. Their mothers eyes. They had both inherited the natural mischievous sparkle that Missy's had.

"Hello Ryan." Amy grinned.

"Hey Amy." he said made a face. "Suppose I'm gonna be looking at two sickly displays of completely unnecessary affection on a morning instead of one!" he groaned then grinned.

Amy smiled. "Yeah."

"There's plenty of empty rooms here, I've been thinking of making a make out room. Not that anyone would use it. You just jump on each other at any time, any place." he shook his head comically.

"Where did mum get you from?" she laughed then realised what she said. Everyone was looking at her.

Missy's jaw was slack and Ryan stared at her.

"Mum? You're my missing sister?"

"Um…yeah." she stuttered.

A slow smile spread across his face. "Yeah, this is cool." he said nodding. "I have Army Amie and now laid back Amy. I must warn you I have years of torture to catch up on! Your not scared of snakes are you?"

"No, I'm a vet." she said pointedly.

"Oh yeah. Let me think on it?"

"Ok" she replied. Relieved that he was fine with it.

Amy looked at Missy. "Can I talk to you? You know like alone?"

Missy nodded and swallowed. Still shocked. They walked outside. "Look….." Amy began.

"We'll go to the problems truck. Ryan likes to eavesdrop." Missy whispered.

Amy smiled. "Annoying little brother huh?" she mused.

Missy looked at her. They walked on in silence.

"Ok Amy we're alone."

"Right." Amy began. "Look….." she exhaled. "I…for Christ's sake why am I nervous?"

Missy had no idea what to say.

Amy sat down. "Ok, when I was at home I thought about a lot. Like Ryan, and Daniel and just well loads of stuff….you." she added almost like an afterthought. This was all true. Amy had thought a lot about Melissa. She had withheld a little information from Amie. She did want to get to know her mother, she wasn't only doing this to annoy or take her away from Amie, that was just an added bonus.

"Amy I'm…." Missy began.

"Look Miss…" she inhaled deeply. "Mum." that was the first time she had ever called someone that. It felt alien on her tongue. "Can we just take this a day at a time?"

Missy nodded. "I'd like that."

"Me too." Amy agreed. "Can we start now?"

Missy had been about to phone Lex to see if Amie was there, but she didn't want Amy to feel like Missy wasn't eager to get to know her so she agreed. She could call Lex later….

(X)

Amie lay on a bed in an unknown place. Her head pounded, her mouth was as dry as dust and her stomach cramped painfully. Amie suddenly realised why they weren't allowed to go on missions involving loved ones. Your focus was seriously skewed otherwise. She was learning it painfully now. As her stomach throbbed she rolled onto her side and clutched it. That simple movement sent aches throughout her body. Christ what was wrong with her? She thought. She groaned inwardly. After she moved she saw a movement in the corner of her eye. She hit out at the air, didn't connect with anything. The movement brought another sharp pain in her stomach. She pressed her face into the mattress and panted through it.

"How are you feeling? You been out for a day and a half. I gave you too much I'm afraid."

"Go to hell!" she spat through her clenched teeth.

"What is your name?"

"Fuck you!"

"I'm not very happy at you, you shouldn't have destroyed my wall." he said in a controlled voice.

That wasn't the only thing that she was gonna do to piss him off! She vowed. "Your fucking sick!" Amie closed her eyes as pain streaked through her stomach. "What have you gave me?"

He went down on his haunches and touched her face. "Something so you can't leave me."

Something that kept her in constant pain too!

"How old are you?" he asked sweetly.

She glared at him. "Old enough to kick your ass!"

"My guess is your 16. Am I right?" his eyes shone.

He couldn't be more wrong! She chose to ignore him til she could plan her escape.

"What is your name?" he repeated.

Amie looked at him defiantly.

"I'll give you one then. How about Zoey?" he offered.

Amie started breathing heavily. Anger pumped through her fast and hot.

"I knew a Zoey once. She was very beautiful and we loved each other very much. She was very different from you. She got lost." he said softly. "I was alone, but now you're here. I won't be alone anymore. I must say your blue eyes are very captivating."

"Your blue eyes are creepy!" she retorted.

"You need to learn some manners and rules. Since you are new I'll let you off, next time I won't be so nice."

"Curl up and die!" she hissed.

He leant in to her face closely. "YOU will learn eventually, same as Zoey did!"

"YOU BASTARD!" Amie launched at him as soon as her feet hit the floor her stomach felt like a million blades were plunged in there. She fell to her knees. Her head rested on the floor. She shook with pain. What had he done to her?

"It's working then!" he muttered happily.

"You won't keep me here. I'll get away!" she vowed.

William picked her up. She tried to push him away but couldn't, he held her solidly. "We'll be good friends Zo. I'll bring you dinner soon. You need your strength for tonight. We have a lot of catching up to do!"

OH SHIT! Amie thought.

**A/N lots of different probs 4 different family members...and the worst thing is no one knows that Amie is missing or even where she is!**


	81. She's Gone

**One Day Later**

Missy sat at the table tapping her fingers on it rapidly. She checked her watch again, then her phone.

"Dammit! Just ring!" she demanded. Rubbed her face. Rang Amie once again.

"Amie when you get this message call me ok!" she said pleading.

Missy then began to pace across the floor, needing to do something to burn off this restless anxious energy that had resided in her since last night. Since she found out that no one had seen or heard from Amie in 36 hours. Missy checked her phone again. Everything was fine. Her signal was high. God she felt sick to the pit of her stomach, had a bad feeling inside. And she didn't like it! There was only one reason why Amie wouldn't phone…Missy wasn't going there. She was likely to crack up if she thought like that!

Danny walked in.

"God where the hell is she?" she declared looking at him.

"Missy she's probably fine!"

"She always calls Danny. Always! Something is seriously wrong, I can feel it."

"But…" Danny started.

Missy knew something else she hadn't told Danny. Tom had called looking for Amie. He had beeped her urgently and she hadn't replied. It was like Amie had just fell off the face of the earth. Tom had even went as far to try to find her using her remote transmitter surgically implanted behind her ear. She hadn't activated the signal yet so her exact co-ordinates couldn't be pinpointed.

"Look Danny no one can find her! She wouldn't do this to us! She'd know how much we'd worry if she didn't get in touch!"

"C'mere." he murmured and pulled her close. She went into his arms willingly wrapped her arms around him. "Amie is strong. She disappears and reappears at the drop of a hat. Try not to worry ok." he whispered against her hair.

"But…."Missy started.

"NO buts!" he chided. "This is Amie." he stressed.

Yeah and Missy was gonna strangle her pretty little neck when she saw her…..if…

"You didn't tell me how things went with Amy." he said trying to distract her.

Missy looked at him. "Danny you can't distract me from this." she told him.

"You could tell me though." he hinted.

Missy exhaled. Came out of his embrace and shrugged. "She just asked me stuff and I told her. We talked about me when I was younger."

"Did you mention…."

"No!" she said stiffly. "She doesn't need to know. She told me a little about herself now and I told her about me too. We spoke about Ryan. My parents." she trailed off.

Danny looked pensive. "Did she ask about her father?"

Missy nodded. "I tried not to be too nasty, he IS her father after all."

"More then he deserves." Danny hissed.

"I know but he isn't here to defend his actions. Even if his actions were deceitful and malicious and just…slimy!"

Danny grinned.

"At least I didn't swear, my thoughts could make a sailor blush!" she told him.

Danny pulled her close again. "I don't want you thinking about anyone else but me." he murmured and lowered his mouth to hers.

He pulled back and twined his fingers with hers. As they walked out of the house Missy still couldn't squash the worry that lived deep within her. She covertly checked her watch once again.

(X)

Lexi sat in her house, worried about her little sister. Right Ethan had told her not to but she was going to talk to Zoey. She had to know something. Ethan had advised her not to worry Zoey they didn't know how she'd react. Especially with the self harming and the drugs, but Amie could be in trouble, this couldn't wait! She approached her door and heard some unfamiliar music echoing from her daughters room. Lexi froze, Christ that kid was like her father. She was only listening to her dad's old rap CD's. Lexi arrived at the door and knocked, even though it was open. Zoey turned and looked at her mother.

"Dad didn't mind as long as it was low." Zoey immediately said.

Her and Ethan's old favourite song was playing. It brought back bittersweet memories for Lexi. Of a young innocent love. Of simpler times. Ethan had used to sing this for her sometimes. It was actually one of the few rap songs she could tolerate.

"You enjoying the music?"

Zoey turned thoughtful. "Yeah. Some of the songs are abit bleh, over the top and stuff, but there are a couple that are speaking to me. Dad hasn't got completely rubbish taste I suppose."

Lexi smiled. "Your a lot like him you know."

A song came on which lexi couldn't stand. Zoey made a face and fast forwarded it.

"Strike that. Your dad loved that song. Personally I hate it!" Lexi told her.

"That rapper is just rubbish. He may as well just talk!" Zoey drawled.

Lexi smiled then remembered why she was here. Inhaled deeply. "Look Zoey do you know where your auntie Amie was headed at all?"

"Why would I?" Zoey asked immediately defensive.

"She's missing Zoey. No one has seen her in about 36 hours. Dad and Miss have had to report her missing to the police.

Zoey paled. Her eyes glittered. She knew something like this would happen!

"If you know anything at all Zoey." lei said softly.

"Look, she was…sorting something for me. Last time I saw her she said it was ready but she didn't tell me no details. Just that in another hour it would be over."

"ZOEY!" Lexi demanded.

'Don't tell anyone Zoey!' she remembered Amie tell her. Zoey kept silent.

Zoey saw her mothers face change.

"I've had problems and she was fixing them!" Zoey blurted. Crossed her arms.

"Problems?" Lexi enquired.

"Can't tell you." Zoey said staring at her bed.

"You can and will Zoey. This is my baby sister, your Aunt. She could be in trouble!" Lexi said pointedly sitting opposite her on the bed.

"Amie promised me she could take care of herself." Zoey whispered.

"She could be hurt Zoey!" Lexi's voice was raised.

"I don't know mum. She didn't tell me nothing!" Zoey insisted.

Lexi exhaled. Heard the phone ringing.

"Fine Zoey!" Lexi said angrily. "Be here later. Me and dad need to speak to you and EJ."

"Where else am I supposed to go?" she muttered.

"it's important." lexi said walking out.

Zoey frowned. Lexi looked back as the phone stopped ringing. Saw her daughters face but decided not to elaborate, she walked out pondering her thoughts.

Any clues she could have gave would only give Zoey a hint to the truth and Lexi wanted Ethan by her side when she told the kids about the new addition to their family. She'd done a test this morning and it was positive. She was about 5 weeks give or take. Neither she nor Ethan had known how to take the news. When they found out about Zoey and EJ they had both been a cause for celebration, this child though, it wasn't planned. Completely out of the blue. How was she supposed to cope? She and her husband were divorced and he obviously didn't think they were worth another go. No she was only worth one night stands that resulted in her being pregnant! She temped down the feelings that rose. The one bad thing about her being pregnant was she could be fine one minute then bawling the next. Hair trigger emotions except they were more fragile than that! She really didn't know how she was gonna handle it not being able to get comfort from Ethan whenever she wanted… the other problem she had was, well 2 kids were enough. It wasn't that she didn't want this one it was here it was just, well she didn't want a big family. Right she had to stop thinking like this! It wasn't fair to the baby. Like it or not it was here it wasn't it's fault. Lexi knew that no matter what she as gonna love it just as much as her other kids, how could she not? It was part of Ethan. The phone rang again and Lexi went to pick it up.

"Hello Lexi Trevanion." she said. Then she shook her head as the caller spoke at her, not to her. This was bullshit! She was being told to go to work, again! She put the phone down went into her room to put on her paramedics uniform. Then stomped out in her black boots.

"Zoey, I'm taking you to granddads I gotta go to work." she called.

**A/N apologies for the short rubbish update, filler really :/**


	82. Falling

Amie lay on a bed panting. She couldn't seem to catch her breath, cold sweat coated her entire body. Whatever this guy was giving her was messing with her breathing big time. It made her weaker and weaker too hence the reasons he couldn't stop him drugging her. God she had to find a way out of here! All she felt was pain. He gave her a sleeping drug but she was sure he was giving her something else when he knocked her out. She spent most of her time asleep. She had no idea how long she had been here. A week maybe? Longer. How had Zoey survived a year of this?

One good thing was, her family had to know she was missing by now! Missy would do something. Come and find her. She was like that she wouldn't forget her!

'Um Amie, have you forgot her real daughter is there now!' a malicious voice told her.

Amie's heart sank. Her prophecy from six months ago was coming true. She was gonna be replaced. And she couldn't do a thing about it! She wanted to pound the bed from rage in frustration and she would….if she didn't feel about as weak as a newborn baby! This was pure bullshit!

She got to thinking about whether people knew she was missing, it didn't even matter if they did look they wouldn't find her she hadn't told anyone where she was going. She hadn't wanted to implicate them in case she got sent down for this. She hadn't expected to get captured herself. I mean Christ the first thing drilled into your head in training is never lose your focus and what did she do? God she was a freaking amateur! She was alone in this but she'd get out…..somehow.

William walked in and she looked at him malevolently. He had tried to rape her last night. She has swiftly put him out of action! He had rolled onto the floor clutching himself. As soon as he was able to move they had fought. He had cracked her ribs and done a number on her face. She had got in a few shots though. Nothing on what she was capable of if she was one hundred percent but better then nothing. He had enjoyed the fighting, she thought distastefully. So much so he had….Amie wasn't going there. As long as he stayed away from her she didn't care how he got his jollies. He wasn't touching her. No freaking way! She was gonna put him out of action every night if she had to! She kinda enjoyed kneeing him, felt like a little revenge for her niece. She was trying not to think about whether he would do it AFTER he drugged her. Coz she knew…actually hoped beyond hope that he wouldn't think of that.

"Hello dearest." he said happily. Unperturbed by her angry face.

"Fuck you!" she breathed.

He sauntered over slowly. His eyes never leaving her face. Then he bent down quickly and grabbed her neck. "I warned you about swearing at me!"

"Remind me you bastard!" she raised her head and head butted him in the nose. "And I warned you about touching me last night you freak!" she added as blood poured down his nose.

He glared at her and clenched his fist raised it above her face.

"Take your best shot!" Amie goaded.

He smiled evilly and landed a perfectly aimed punch to the ribs he'd cracked last night. The little air that she had in her lungs whooshed out. He laughed as she paled and hid her face.

"I'll…..kill….you!" she panted muffled from the mattress.

He went into his pocket and pulled out a vial. "See this little beauty?" he murmured. "It's a muscle relaxant. We're gonna use this later!" he said with a smile. "Don't worry though." he leaned over put his face close to hers. "You'll be awake and very…pliable."

"Wanna bet?" she screeched and tried to launch herself at him.

He restrained her easily.

"NO matter how much drugs you give me I'll always fight you off!" she fought.

He kissed her quickly. She screamed at the touch. "Bastard keep your hands off me! I swear when Tom finds out he'll take great delight in taking you apart for this!"

William disregarded her statement. "I'll be back real soon Zoey. Got to go make some deals. A new client! Boss gets his drugs from a new place now. Borno. Beno…" he thought. "NO Borneo, that's it. They're cheaper. Anyway sweetness gotta go and make some calls. Keep the bed warm for me huh?"

He walked away.

Amie lay on the bed, right she was getting out of this shit hole right now! Now William was bringing up Borneo. No fucking way! She had barely got out of there alive, with her sanity intact! She had been trapped there like she was trapped here now! Her remote transmitter as much use as…..THAT'S IT! Something clicked in Amie's mind. God how could she have been so stupid as to forget about it? Her remote transmitter behind her ear. It could be used to pin point her anywhere in the world! When she activated it Sparky would pick up her signal and they'd come and get her! There were 2 problems. One, what happens if the freaking thing didn't work again? Then again they were in Africa not a war infested jungle. They'd have good satellite coverage here right? The other one was even IF they got her signal it took 12 hours to get here from England and William wasn't going to wait. He was determined to have his evil way with her tonight! She looked around quickly. A plan formulated. It wasn't her best idea, ranked up among the worst actually. it wasprobably gonna kill her actually! If it didn't, she was gonna end up seriously injured. It could work though and buy her some badly needed time. It couldn't wait either if he succeeded in giving her this muscle relaxant she'd never get out of here! And by God if he was gonna die then she was taking this bastard with her. She reached up and tapped the distress code behind her ear.

"Hurry guys!" she pleaded.

Then she heard the front door slam. She was alone. Good! She centered her mind to block out the pain in her stomach and ribs. She rolled off the bed and hit the floor with a clatter. He had a bat in here somewhere. He had threatened to use it on her. If she could find it then she wouldn't have to go through with her…seriously last resort plan. She didn't want to, see she really didn't have a death wish! She crawled over to the wardrobe. Her stomach screaming with each movement her arms and legs felt weak, like they had no consistency.

She looked all around the room no bat. The bastard had lied to her! Now he was no doubt expecting her to acquiesce to his wishes. As in lie there and wait for him to come back and… Well he was about to learn one important lesson - Amie Trevanion backed down for no one! And if he was stupid enough to…..well actually he was obviously stupid he was keeping her here against her wishes. It was gonna hit the fan when she was better though, IF they survived what she planned that is!

Ok no bat, that just meant that she would have to use her own strength. Not a big thing when she was normal but now…..she made her way back to the bed and climbed on it. Then reached up and climbed up onto the windowsill behind it. Looked down to the floor below. Right there was no grass, all concrete and there was no way she could climb down using the drain pipe. He had taken it down when he figured how she got in. Along with nailing the windows shut! She rubbed her mouth. Mind made up. She heard the door downstairs open. She sat on the windowsill and pounded the window with her elbow.

_'AMIE!_' Alice screamed.

Amie focused herself. "He's gonna do stuff mum. I can't let it happen!" Elbowed again harder.

_'Amie NO!' _her mother demanded. _'You'll break your neck baby!'_

"I know you'll take care of me mum." Amie whispered to thin air. "If not I'll see you soon." she then mustered all her strength knowing this was her last chance. William was in. She threw all her weight against the window and it shattered. The glass fell through the air to the floor then splintered. O God that was gonna be her in about 5 minutes. God she didn't wanna die!

She inhaled then exhaled. Looked at the hard unforgiving ground once again. Then wiped her mind. She was going down swinging and that was all that mattered!

(X)

William had heard the shattering of the glass. Amie heard his thundering footsteps running upstairs. The key in the door turning. Amie painted a cocky smile on her face.

"Let everyone I know I love them mum!" she whispered.

_'Amie!'_ her mother squeaked. It was clear there were tears in her tone.

"If it comes down to that then I'll see you soon. Don't worry." she was pretty sure she wasn't gonna survive this, and had resigned herself to that fact.

William suddenly entered and Amie smirked at him. Made a big display of leaning back.

"NO YOU CAN'T LEAVE!" he screamed and ran to her. He climbed on the bed and she moved as far back as she could. So he had to lean towards her. He did. She grinned evilly.

"I'll see you in hell William!" she hissed. Wrapped her arms around his neck and flung herself backwards out of the window. All Amie felt then was air hurtling passed her face. For a second she saw everything. Her mother, her father, Missy. Her brothers and sister. Everything she had ever done. Good and bad. Then it was over and Amie hit the ground. She felt a moment of sheer excruciating pain. Then nothing.

(X) _**Later**_

"Boss we got a hit off Amie's remote transmitter. She's still in Africa, but boss, this is the urgent signal! She must be in trouble!" Sparky told Tom.

Tom nodded. They were sat in a hotel room in Jo'burg. "As soon as you have her exact co-ordinates we'll jump in the car yeah?"

Sparky nodded. Then his face immediately paled. "Christ we gotta go, her mortality code has kicked in."

Tom felt his stomach pool with acid. How long?"

"Just then!" Sparky tapped on his keyboard. "According to this she hasn't moved for at least an hour!" the address popped up on the screen. Tom scribbled it down. Ran downstairs and into his car. Sparky by his side monitoring Amie. The code whined.

"Dammit Sparky turn that damn thing OFF!" he yelled. His heart beating out of his chest. God she had to be ok she had to!

(X)

Amie was in pain. A whole lot of pain. Her back, her arms, legs head. She tried to open her eyes but couldn't. Saw her mother in front of them, even though they were shut tight.

"Mum?" she asked.

"I warned you Ames." she said softly.

"You mean I'm…."

Alice nodded.

"At least I took that bastard with me!" she seethed.

"Don't be too sure Ames. he crawled away. Really hurt, you're a lot worse then he is though!"

"So I'm not dead yet? Good I'm gonna get up!"

"Amie, you have 2 broken legs a broken arm your ribs are cracked. Your shin is shattered. Your pelvis is cracked, your skull is fractured and your bleeding badly from your head. Your body is mangled. You aren't going anywhere!" Alice warned.

"Go away mum, your supposed to help me!" Amie yelled. Moving her head.

"I am! You try to move and you'll do more harm then good! Not that your gonna live anyway!"

"Go to hell if your attitude is like that!" Amie screamed. "I'm gonna fight til my last breath!" then she tried to roll.

**A/N oh Amie :/**


	83. Moving Out

Tom arrived at the house and was out of the car before it even stopped. He ran at the door and shoulder barged it. It fell to the floor with a clatter.

"AMIE!" he yelled running through the downstairs. His heart pounding harder with every step he took.

"AMIE!" he yelled again running up the stairs taking them two at a time. He burst into a bedroom and saw a broken window the net fluttering limply.

"Oh God Amie no!" he whispered. Ran over to the window and looked out of it, saw a twisted body lain on the ground below him. He practically flew down the stairs, stormed passed Sparky so fast he almost knocked him on the floor. Ran to the back and saw Amie lain in a broken heap.

"Amie." he breathed saw her lying on her stomach. Her hips twisted, she had a bad cut across head, blood slowly trickling down her forehead.

"Sparky get an ambulance now!" he demanded. Checked her pulse. Found it very faint but there.

"I'm here now Amie, I won't let anything happen to you. No one will hurt you again" he vowed.

10 minutes later 2 people rounded the corner. Lexi saw him first.

"What are we deal…..Tom?" she then looked at her patient. "AMIE? God!"

She ran over. "How long she been like this?"

Lexi checked her vitals. Winced when they were weak. Her eyes didn't react to light.

Amie's eyes fluttered. "Mum…dead…." she mumbled.

"She keeps doing that. The same words over and over." Tom said and touched Amie's face gently.

"Ames, it's Lex." Lexi told her. "How?" she asked him.

"We're guessing she jumped from that window."

Lexi looked up and paled. "Christ!"

"William…..dead…." Amie mumbled.

William? She hadn't! Lexi thought panicked.

"Open your eyes Ames. it's Lex." Lexi repeated.

Amie managed to force one eye open. It was unfocused and blurry she saw Lexi filling a syringe.

"No!" she said softly. Batted at the syringe weakly. "O….."

Lexi injected her. "It's for pain Amie. Your ok." Lexi soothed.

"D." Amie finished

Then Amie was placed on a stretcher. "O….D" she mumbled gain. Sleep coming to take her.

Lexi didn't think of Amie's words until they were in the ambulance and the heart monitor Amie was attached to started going wild. Amie's heart rate began to drop rapidly.

"O.D." Tom whispered frowning.

Lexi's jaw dropped. "Overdose." her voice quivered. She was over Amie working on her. "Step on it BEN!" she yelled. Amie had to get to hospital ASAP. The stuff she needed to counteract the drugs in Amie's system they didn't carry. If they didn't get their soon Amie was gonna die. The only thing Lexi could do was try to keep her stable. "Your stubborn Amie, you give up and I swear I'll have you!" she warned.

Amie's eyes remained closed. Lexi had hoped for a quick retort but her sister didn't answer. Lexi's heart pounded harder.

(X) **Mini Leopards Den**

Zoey walked into the living room, she approached her dad who was hunched over paperwork.

"Dad, mum said you needed to talk." Zoey said.

"Your mum is still at work." he murmured and shifted his piles of papers.

"Oh, see I've been sorta worried about it." Like what if they were gonna send her to rehab or something.

"It isn't about you." he assured.

"Are you and mum back together?" she questioned.

Ethan shook his head. "No."

"Well?" she asked.

"Me and your mum will tell you together." he told her simply.

Wow, this is important there are a couple of things parents wanna tell you together." she murmured.

"Like what?" he asked.

"Well, usually it would be divorce but that is already happened with you. Or moving or even a pregnancy, can't see that….." she trailed off when her fathers face changed.

Her jaw dropped. "Mum's pregnant?" she squeaked.

Ethan exhaled. "Yeah."

"God!" Zoey thought for a seond. "How do you feel dad?" she asked softly.

"Me? I'm good. Why?" he asked confused.

"Well you know, you and mum having us and now….well her being pregnant with another man's child."

"Zoey, the baby is mine." he told her.

Zoey frowned. "But your not together- how - if…."

"Zoey I'm not going into this with you. It's between me and your mum."

Zoey's face was one of disgust.

"Don't even go there Zoey, it isn't like that at all!" he fumed.

"But you AREN'T together - so what else?"

"I'm actually glad our mum isn't here to hear this!" he drawled.

"O don't worry dad, she'll hear it! You always tell me and Ethan that sex should be kept in a loving relationship where your involved blah blah blah and all this time….." she trailed off outraged.

"Zoey I'm not discussing this with you!" he repeated.

"That's fine with me. I don't wanna discuss it, I just think your both hypocrites and now you can't say anything to us!"

Ethan counted to 3 mentally. He was on the verge of getting into a slanging match with his daughter. She walked away muttering then he heard her door slam.

"Door Zoey!" he yelled.

"Go to hell!" she replied.

"ZOEY!" he fumed.

"Make me!" she yelled back defiantly.

Make her? O she was pushing her luck! He got up and walked to her bedroom. Opened the door. "It stays open!" he warned.

"Or what?" Zoey asked arms crossed. A familiar defiant expression on her face.

"Or I take the door off!"

Zoey looked pensive. "You wouldn't."

"Until we can trust you again…."

"But…." Zoey began.

"Drugs Zoey." Ethan interrupted.

"But dad they weren't mine." she told him beseechingly.

Ethan shook his head. "I'm sorry Zoey but who else? That just isn't gonna fly. That combined with the fact that your behaviour has been very erratic recently."

Tears filled Zoey's eyes. Her dad didn't believe her. He found it so easy to believe the worst of her.

"Please Zoey, let me help you." he asked softly.

She sat on her bed, dejection washed over her. Anger quickly followed. "I don't need your help!"

Ethan exhaled. "Look I'm not gonna pretend to understand what you went through, I couldn't. But I can understand why you might have felt the need to turn to drugs for help coping."

Zoey stared at him open mouthed. "You THINK you understand but you don't. If you really understood, actually took the time to get to know me then you would know the reason why I would never turn to drugs!" she yelled shaking with the force of her anger.

Ethan frowned. He began to wonder whether she was telling the truth about the drugs.

"Don't pretend like you know me dad. None of you do and ever will ok!" she finished. Launched off the bed towards her wardrobe and pulled out a bag.

"Zoey?" Ethan started.

"I refuse to live with people who lie to each other. I refuse to live with people who don't trust me!"

"No Zoey you aren't…."

"I'm going to granddads." she seethed. "And if you try to stop me I'll…" she projected a very clear warning in her eyes.

Ethan walked over. "Zoey don't even think about running away again never mind threaten me with it. Threats don't work!"

She pulled some clothes off her hangers and put them in her bag.

"I won't let you do this." he said.

"So your keeping me a prisoner?" Zoey asking looking him in the eyes.

"Of course not!" he blurted.

Zoey smiled having successfully manipulated her father. "If I have freedom of choice. IF! I chose to do this!"

Ethan deflated. She had him boxed into a corner. No where to turn. He watched her pack trying to think of something to say to make her stay.

Zoey had everything she wanted packed. She looked at her dad and saw his pained face. "You've both told me you can't trust me. Repeatedly. Maybe I'll come back when you decide you can."

"Zoey stay, at least til your mum gets home and we can talk about this." he asked.

She shook her head. "That would inevitably lead to an argument. Mum doesn't need that right now, does she?"

EJ heard the commotion from outside and walked towards the voices. He saw his dad in Zoey's room, Zoey zipping up a bag. She noticed him.

"Zoey what are you…."

"I'm moving out." she told him breezily. "Excuse me dad, I need to say see ya to my little brother." she then walked from her room, grabbed EJ's arm and pulled him in his. Closed the door. "I really hope your proud of yourself! Look at what you have done to your family!" she hissed in a low tone. "You could have told them that the stuff wasn't mine. But no, you get yourself into stupid situations and I like the fool I am help you only to get the blame placed on me. Now I live my life like I'm in a freaking fish bowl. I can't even sneeze without someone behind me handing me a hanky.

"I couldn't, they'd kill me!" he countered.

"Well lucky you." she said sarcastically. "I just get constant surveillance. Practically like I did when I was abducted. You know I couldn't even go to the bathroom without his permission. That doesn't happen here thankfully."

EJ flinched. "Zoey don't go." he asked.

"Are you gonna tell dad the drugs were yours?"

EJ looked torn, then shook his head. Zoey's eyes narrowed.

"I hate you Ethan. I really do, and you know what else? I wish Ryan was my brother. He showed me more concern in 5 minutes then you have in your entire life. Go to hell EJ, I have no brother!"

She then stomped from his room.

EJ stayed still a moment absorbing the words. Then he walked from his room as she left hers with her bag.

"Fine with me Zo, I preferred it when you were gone anyway!" he said nastily.

She glared back at him as he slammed his bedroom door.

"Are you serious about this Zoey?" her dad asked emerging from the living room.

She nodded stiffly.

"Ok." he said defeated. "I'll give you a lift. And you can come back at any time." he told her.

"I appreciate the lift, but I don't think I'll wanna come back."

"What was that about with EJ?" he asked as they walked out of the house.

"Nothing dad." she said walking from the house.


	84. Past And Present

**Later That Day**

Zoey sat in her mum's old room in Leopards Den. Wow she had left home, she was 15 and wasn't at home. It was ironic how fucked up a person's life could get. When she had been away all she had wanted was to go back home and stay there, now a few months later she was gone again. At least staying away this time was her choice. Her granddad hadn't been in but she had asked Missy if she could stay. Zoey had felt bad putting her on the spot, Miss had acquiesced of course but she knew that Missy knew that the wrath of the Trevanion's was gonna come down on her. She got up and looked around the room. She popped her head out of the room. "Miss?" she called.

"Yeah." Missy answered. Her head appeared from the living room. Their stances were the same and Zoey smiled.

"Can I put some music on?"

"Yeah, but can you put it on low, I'm working." Missy answered.

"Sure."

"Tell me is it anything like the music your dad used to listen to?" Missy asked with a grin.

"Why?"

"Coz he had rubbish taste." Miss laughed.

"I'll put it on real low huh?" Zoey told her.

Missy groaned and smiled.

Zoey re-entered her room and went to her bag. Picked out the Eminem CD she hadn't listened to yet. Missy had been wrong, she was willing to admit that her dad had pretty good taste in music. Eminem was beast! She let the music begin to swirl around her. The regular drum beat helping the anger and frustration to slow leave her body.

Zoey looked around. The walls were a gorgeous sunny yellow colour. Not too bland, but too bright as to be blinding either. She tried to imagine her mother in here. Dreaming over boys talking on the phone with her friends. She couldn't surprisingly. It was too hard. It was too bright in here. All her mother seemed to be at the moment was stressed out or worried. It couldn't be very good for her health, or for the baby either. She had been a little hard on her dad for that. She decided not to think about it. She wandered around the room.

She walked over to the old wardrobe and opened the door. She saw a couple of boxes. 'Lexi's stuff.' was written on in thick black marker. Her mothers old stuff she mused. The boxes had obviously been there for a while. They looked battered and dusty. She picked one up an carried it over to the bed. She pulled the brown tape off and opened the lid. Peered inside. Inside lay a whole array of stuff. She picked up an old photo album. Opened it. It was pictures of her mother and her friends over the years. There were a few of her mother very young with her nana and granddad. Some with Missy and Shauna. Her mothers face hadn't changed over the years but she didn't half look different. She looked at the old pictures of her with her dad. Carefree, that's how they looked. She looked at the pictures, there were some of her at the beach, bowling, at fayres and bbq's. There was even one of her dunking her friend at the swimming pool. Zoey smiled at her mothers face. This was a side of her she had never seen before. She wished she could go back and retrieve these days for her mum. She wished she could make some memories of these for her own. She knew there were two chances of that….slim and none.

Zoey picked out ornaments and teddies of her mums. Saw loads of papers at the bottom of the box. She picked a few up. The top one read.

'Lexi luv's Eth 4evaNalwayz'

"Mum! God!" she breathed. Shook her head. Decided to put the papers back. Knowing her luck she would no doubt end up reading a letter that prompt her into therapy for the rest of her natural life! One fluttered to the floor. She bent over to pick it up. Something told her to read it, just a feeling. So she did.

**August 3****rd**** Alexis Trevanion. Age 15**

_Life is so hard at the minute. Chemo was awful today, then again it's proper awful every day. I can't imagine what it must be like for mum to see me wasting away like this, every single day. She's pregnant too, the strain on her must be unimaginable. I don't wanna put her through this for anything. I asked her to stay away but she won't. I don't know if I'd be as strong as she is. If I had a little girl, just to stand by and not be able to do anything while her body just gives in. While she basically destroys herself, I couldn't do that I'd crack up! My mother is just amazing and I plan on telling her that when she comes in here again. Dad is being great too. Staying strong, keeping us all together. Ethan, poor Ethan he's going mad. He's only 15 and is trying to hard not to crack up he's staying strong for me. I'm so lucky to have all of them. They're all brilliant in their own ways._

_All I want is to get better but to be honest it isn't looking real good. I know the truth even though the rest of them aren't willing to admit it. They all think I'm getting better but I seriously think I'm gonna die. I don't wanna die. I sat a few weeks ago writing all these letters to everyone. They were so hard. How do you say goodbye in a letter? What if I forget something important? What if there is something I need them to know and I remember at the last minute? God dying at 15, I hadn't really thought much of dying before this. It was just so out of the realm of possibility, I mean you don't die at 15. You just don't! And yet here I am wasting away, my body a husk of it's former self. I don't even have a choice either. All I can do is just fight as hard as I can - that doesn't really count either. If the cancer is too strong then that's it. I refuse to give up, I won't stop fighting until the air leaves my body! _

_You know at first it sorta felt like God wass playing target practice and I was the one who was hit. Now it's like I'm on this treadmill and he keeps turning the speed up and I keep running and running, even though I'm so tired and wanna stop. But I know if I do I'll fall on my face so I find the strength for one more step then another and another. I know I can't stop, even though I really want too! It's mostly my mum and dad I feel sorry for. Given time Ethan will find someone new and get over me. He's so funny and amazing and gorgeous he won't be free for long but mum and dad - they have both lost their mothers to this disease and now they are losing me too._

_There is so much stuff I still need to do, to accomplish. I haven't had a life yet. Not a proper adult life anyway. I man what about going out on dates? Going to college and university? Then after that getting married and having kids? All that feels so far away from me right now. A future which had once seemed so bright, so close is now nothing but a pipe dream._

_Well the reason I am writing this is basically coz I don't think I can tell anyone this stuff and I can't have it eating away at me anymore, it's driving me insane! I just need to get it off my chest. Well, I died. I actually literally died! I went up to heaven which is nothing like they say it is and I even had an argument with God. He decided to send me back. He's probably punishing me for threatening him with a baseball bat. Anybody reading this will probably think I'm delirious off drugs, but I'm not, I'm being deadly serious!_

_Writing this had actually helped me a lot. It helps me vent some of the emotions I am feeling, most of the time it is too exhausting to release them through tears or anger, or even through talking. This is the next best thing. As always I'll leave my final thought on the bottom. I guess my final thought of today is that I want to live. You only get one short precious life and when it's gone then that is it! 15 is just too young. It's not long enough….._

(X)

Zoey sat still in shock. Her mother had been her age when she wrote this. 15 and dying. Well she thought so. God how strong was her mother? She had the biggest urge to find her. To give her a hug and tell her that everything would be ok. Reading that had been a massive eye opener. Her mother hadn't had a choice when it came to her life. She could have lived or died either way. Zoey did….she had chose wrong. She had to be strong. She put away all her mothers stuff and placed the box back in the wardrobe. She had a lot of thinking to do. She grabbed a pen and a piece of paper. She lay on her stomach on the bed and chewed the end of her pen deep in thought.

**A/N even tho the tone of this is quite not happy, i am feeling a bit upbeat coz i found 2 diffeent articles on the net and they both confirm that wah will be back next year, glen afric has even confirmed that filiming begins in july :) :) :) :) so happy happy happy.**


	85. Getting Worse

The siren screamed in the ambulance. Amie's body was shuddering. Lexi had barely got her stable and keeping her that way was getting harder by the minute. Lexi was fighting a losing battle and she knew it!

"Lexi…." Amie murmured. Head moving from side to side.

"Look I'm here Ames." she said calmly. Held her hand and squeezed it.

"Zoey…..sorted." she whispered. Tried to smile, but failed. It looked like a grimace. "Your daughter….I sorted…..promised."

"Ames don't think about it." Lexi told her gently.

Amie groaned and clutched her stomach. Her eyes closed tightly. "Hurts…." she breathed.

Lexi moved her arms. "Try not to move Amie." she told her. "C'mon Ben!" she yelled.

"Help… me….Lex." she said breathing loudly. She was silent for a moment. "Sorry…." came out after a minute.

Lexi looked at her. Checked her vitals. They were seriously worse then before.

"Amie!" Lexi demanded terrified. "Don't dare Amie!"

"What mum?…." Amie whispered looking up beyond her sister.

"Amie I'm warning you!" Lexi shouted. "Just don't….don't bother ok!"

"Lexi calm down." Tom said voice shaking.

Amie smiled slightly. "Bye…." She lapsed into unconsciousness.

"BEN!" she screamed. "She's in a bad way MOVE IT!" Then looked down at her sister. "Amie wake yourself up now!" Lexi demanded. Moving so quickly pulling equipment and wiring her up to others. "I swear Amie when you wake up I'm gonna get you for this. Just watch. Revenge will be mine!" her voice betrayed her. Her fear was palatable.

(X)

They finally pulled into A&E. Lexi wheeled Amie out of the ambulance. Careful not to jostle her too much. She wheeled her in and blurted her observations at the doctor quickly.

"22 year old female. Good health. Respiratory distress, Unconscious for 3 minutes. She's been given drugs we don't know what. I've administered pain relief which made her heart rate drop rapidly. She fell from a second story window. Look she's my sister ok so….." Lexi started as she was wheeled into triage.

"Ok Lex, we have her now." the doctor said softly. Patted her arm then stalked into the room over to Amie purposefully. He was soon pointing and telling nurses what to do. He put his stethoscope in his ears. She saw his mouth moving.

Tom saw Lexi wavering. She obviously needed to know what was going on. He grabbed her shoulders to stop her from running into the room. He guided her to the window.

Lexi watched with her hand over her mouth. "She has the same injuries mum had when she died." Lexi murmured to no one in particular. Those injuries took mum…" her voice wobbled. "She looks like mum, she's going away like her too…"

"Lexi." Ben said snapping her out of her thoughts.

She turned and looked at him walking towards her.

"Go clock out, get a coffee. I spoke to boss. He knows you can't carry on."

Lexi shook her head. Watched as Amie was wired up to machinery.

"Lexi go inform your family." Tom told her. "They need to know. Your dad."

Lexi stared at him for a moment. Letting his words sink in. Then it penetrated. Her dad needed to know. She put her hand on the window. "I swear I'll be right back Ames. Don't di…just don't go anywhere ok!" she then walked to a phone and rang her dad.

"Hello Leopards Den surgery. Daniel Trevanion speaking."

"Dad, it's Lex." she said seriously. Trying to figure out what to say.

"Lex? What's wrong?"

"Dad - I found Amie."

He exhaled. "O thank God! Where was she? Tell her she is dead when she gets home!"

Lexi winced. "Um…..dad, see when I found her she…..I was at work." she put the emphasis on the word work.

She heard her dad inhale sharply. "Oh no, how is she? What happened?"

"A suspected fall from second storey window." she whispered.

She heard her dad breathing audibly. "I'm right there!"

"Ask for me at reception. I'll be able to take you straight through!"

(X)

45 minutes later her dad, Missy and Daniel all arrived looking anxious.

"Where…." Missy started.

"Tom is in there watching. She isn't alone."

"Tom?" Daniel asked.

"He's been looking for her. Unofficially. He's the one who found her and called the ambulance."

"How is it whenever HE is around she gets hurt?" Daniel hissed.

"Son." Danny soothed. Put a hand on his arm.

"I'm gonna plant him!" Daniel hissed.

"Daniel if he hadn't found her she'd probably be dead by now." Lexi fumed. "Need I remind you that it was Amie who ran off half cocked and didn't tell no one where she was going!" she seethed in reply. "HE saved her life!"

Daniel shook his head and crossed his arms.

"C'mon you two." Missy said sensing it was about to kick off. "At least she is in the best possible place huh?"

"Lex?" her dad asked.

"She's been lucky dad. Fractured skull, broken ribs and broken arm."

"Nothing else?" Daniel asked.

Lexi shook her head. "Well except I nearly killed her!"

3 sets of eyes zeroed in on her. "WHAT?" they chorused.

"She had drugs in her system. Stuff I didn't know about. She tried to stop me injecting her with pain relief but I ignored her." she shook her head. "She could have overdosed coz I didn't listen!"

Tom appeared. "None of us knew that Lex, so don't beat yourself up. I'm here coz the doctors are moving her into her own room."

Daniel glared at Tom.

Tom looked at him confused.

"We need to talk." Daniel told him softly. Eyes cold. Tom's eyes narrowed.

"Daniel!" Missy warned. She put herself between them.

They all headed for Amie's room. Tom and Daniel on opposite sides of Missy and Danny. They walked in and saw her lying there. Lexi walked in and immediately looked at her notes. Daniel walked behind her. She was frowning as she read them. Shaking her head. Lifted the page and looked at the page underneath. "They are hoping that as the drugs wear off she'll wake up naturally sooner rather then later. They still have no idea what she was initially given. From the bloods they took nothing immediate showed up. They are being sent for more in depth tests just in case. They have also did a scan on her brain which showed….." she paused and turned another page. "It's normal. No damage to her brain."

"You know all this how?" Daniel asked. "I look at that and only see abbreviations, scribbles and letters."

"That is so people like you can't read her notes little bro." she said. "Doctors don't like family knowing the worst until absolutely necessary. I am trained to understand abbreviations and letters."

Daniel looked up and saw Tom sat beside Amie holding her hand. He went to walk over. Lexi put her hand on his arm and shook her head. Projected a warning in her eyes.

'Back off!' she mouthed.

Daniel glared.

"She loves him!" she whispered. Daniel's fists clenched then he clamed himself.

Missy looked at Danny, asked him a silent question. He nodded. Missy got up and led Lexi over to a quiet corner.

"Look, we're only telling you this coz you need to know." Missy began. "Zoey has moved into ours, as in your dad and my house."

Lexi's eyes widened. "What?" she squeaked. Then looked at Amie.

"Go home Lex. I'll call." her dad assured. "Your family needs sorted and we're here."

She nodded. "Thanks dad." she walked over and he stood up and hugged him. He reached up to kiss the top of her head.

"It's not fair that your taller then me." he told her. "Words I never thought I'd say." he admitted.

"Short ass!" she said with a small smile.

Her dad looked at her. "First time for everything."

"2 inches is 2 inches." she told him.

"You used to hate your height."

She walked towards the door after squeezing her sister hand. "I used to hate a lot of things." she glanced at her baby sister. "I made my peace with all that stuff." a double meaning to her words. "Don't forget to call ok dad?"

He nodded.

**A/N abit rubbish bleh - sorry about the short chapters, they will lengthen. :D x**


	86. The Written Word

Zoey lay on her stomach on the bed. She hadn't moved since she began writing a hour and a half hour ago. It had taken her a good hour just to find the words to begin. Her mum had been right, writing this stuff down kinda helped. With every feeling that she wrote, every word she used to explain was like a loosening of the bonds. Of course she wasn't at the hard bit yet, she'd cross that bridge when she came to it. She had started at the very beginning, how she had met Swift and felt about him. Then about spending time with him, then arguing with her dad and then ending up at the crack den. Her first meeting with William and the boss. Then being taken to William's cabin. She had been tempted to pass over her thoughts as she was locked in the trunk of his car but she knew that she had to let them out, now was the time. So she had went into great detail. This was when she began to struggle. Faltered over her words. She was being very picky when it came to what she wrote, it wasn't that anyone was gonna see this. They weren't it was just she didn't wanna have to redo this later so it had to be word perfect!

As for her feelings at that time all she remembered was hating him so much. Loathe, hate, despise, detest all those words crept up again and again. To put it simply he repulsed her! Then she wrote down about actually having to act like she liked him so he'd take her back to Jo'burg. Actually having to smile at him and not shy away when he used to touch her face. He did it deliberately, testing her. To see if she moved away from his hands. To counteract it she forced every muscle in her body not to move. She tensed her entire body and kept still. He'd then look very deeply in her eyes and tell her he loved her and asked her to say it back. Zoey shook her head and again began to write.

'_The air had been forced from my lungs at his request. He promised that if I said it then we could go back to Jo'burg….what other choice did I have? As soon as I got to Jo'burg I could escape and get home right? So what did I do? I closed my eyes but he told me to look at him, look him in the eyes and to pledge my undying devotion. He wanted it all. He wasn't happy with the simple 3 words. I turned off all my emotions and made myself feel nothing. I took a deep breath and looked at his face. I….'_

She exhaled a deep breath and wrote those words. She didn't think about it as she wrote them. Didn't want to remember the overjoyed look on his face as she said it. How he pulled her close for a hug. All she wanted to do was to cry. She vowed there and then that she was getting home, just to spite him! She began to write about being taken to his house. How he was talking to her like she wanted to be here. Making plans for the future with her, asking her stuff. She half listened only pretending to care. She was constantly thinking about how to get away. She knew he wasn't gonna hold off on the abstinence much longer. Not after what she had said anyway. She had been so confident that she would get away at first….the words were a hard time coming here. The emotion was starting to build. All her old fears were staring to rise. She raised her pen off the paper. She had wrote enough for today she folded the paper up and thrust it in a drawer, not wanting to look at it. She inhaled deeply trying to force down all these unsteady emotions but they refused to do her bidding. Thoughts of her father and brother emerged. She decided just to let this all out. Bottling didn't help, if a good cry was needed then she'd do that! She put her face in her hands.

"Zoey." a voice drifted after a soft knock. It was Ryan. She had been crying for 5 minutes.

"Can I have 5 Ry?" she called wiping her eyes.

"Are you crying?" he called worriedly. "Has someone hurt you?"

"No, I'm not crying," she lied.

"I'm coming in," he warned. Walked in and saw her wiping her eyes.

"Oh Zoey, what's the matter?" he asked softly then walked over and hugged her.

She wrapped her arms around him. "It's a lot of stuff Ry. Don't worry about me huh?" the thing that had upset her the most was the thoughts of her dad and EJ.

"I'm here you know." he told her gently. She looked at him dubiously. "Hey I'm not just a pretty face you know."

"Someone's been telling you lies!" she muttered pulling from his hug.

"Hey a guy could take offence to a comment like that!" he grinned.

"Only could? I was certain you would. It's why I said it!" she retorted playing along.

"I'm serious Zoey. I'm here I know I'm a guy and 13 and you might wanna talk to a woman. Do you want me to get mum? Or even Amy?" he suggested.

Why couldn't EJ be more like this? Zoey wondered. He was all flustered trying to make things better for her. She shook her head.

"What's stopping you?" he asked gently. "Is it coz I'm….O I dunno."

"I don't wanna put you in an awkward position. You're my uncle. My mothers brother."

"I won't be in any position. Whatever you tell me I won't tell." he vowed.

"Promise?"

He nodded solemnly.

"You swear?"

"Honestly Zoey, you can trust me!" his brown eyes shined with sincerity.

"Shall I start at the beginning?" she asked.

He shrugged. Sat cross legged on her bed. "Wherever you want. Wherever you are comfortable."

She frowned. Thought for a second. He didn't rush her, just sat waiting silently.

"EJ's new friends got him caught up in drugs." she finally said softly.

"What?" he asked shocked. Whatever he had thought he was expecting, that wasn't it. Not even close!

She nodded sadly.

"I'd been self harming to cope with stuff. We made a deal, I'd stop self harming if he would stop with the drugs. It was a fair enough trade and we both agreed. We both stuck to the deal for a little while. We even got along better. Supported each other for a change." she looked at the bed. "I had this really bad time last week I tried to kill myself." Looked at the bandages on her wrists. "I had reneged on our deal so EJ decided to carry on. I walked in his room and saw him with a pill in hand.." she looked at Ryan. "I did the only thing I could, I took it off him and ran determined to get rid of it." she quieted.

"What did he do to you?" Ryan asked coldly. "I swear if he hit you…."

Zoey shook her head. "He didn't hit me. Honestly. My dad walked in and I hid my hands. He noticed and demanded to see them."

Ryan could see where this was going. "He blamed you didn't he?"

"He didn't say a word Ry. Dad saw the pill in my head an put two and two together, came up with 5. I'm the obvious choice. Ry. I tried to deny it but c'mon, I tried to kill myself didn't I? I'm not exactly stable. All EJ had to say was 2 words Ry. 2 simple words and he just stood there. Dad looking at me with such disappointment." she shrugged. "He was so quick to believe that it's me and I can't even blame him for that." she exhaled and wiped away the tear that welled. Looked down at the bed.

Ryan's face was cold and hard. He looked livid.

"So anyway life was pretty crap there, I was watched all the time so I came here. Found some old stuff of mums. I'm writing down some stuff like she used to when she was ill. I'm writing…" she trailed off.

"I'm guessing you got to the hard bit huh?" he whispered.

He nodded.

"Your gonna be fine you know Zoey." he assured patting her leg.

"I don't know." she admitted. "I feel so…" she exhaled.

"Your not wallowing. Your trying. It's a start. Most people can't even get passed that bit. Don't think about what you can't do, think about what you can!" he urged. "I know it isn't easy but nothing is ever easy is it?"

"You sound like my dad." she muttered.

He smiled. He had saw her eyes flare at his words. At least they had penetrated. "Anything else?"

"What after my parents not trusting me and telling EJ that I wished you were my bother coz you actually act like you care? I told him that I had no brother and that he doesn't care about me. He agreed, said he preferred it when I was gone."

That line enraged Ryan. He knew what it was like to lose a sister, well nearly. Amie and Borneo and just recently with her being missing. You didn't get away with saying stuff like that! "You want me to sort him Zoey?" Ryan asked seriously.

Zoey raised her eyebrows.

"It wouldn't just be for you, you know. I owe him a smack for what he done!"

Zoey frowned. "What did he do to you?"

Ryan shook his head. "Nothing."

"Ry….c'mon you're the only one who doesn't keep stuff from me. Who acts like I'm normal. Don't keep this from me!"

Ryan exhaled. "He said some stuff. I said some stuff. He went too far though. We fought I was above him, really just gone. He grabbed a rock and hit it off my head. Knocked me out. When I woke up mum made me promise no revenge. But see if you give me a reason my no revenge promise doesn't extend to that!" he told her.

"Thanks for the offer Ry, but no. How's Leila?"

Ryan shrugged. "We still talk but I think we're drifting apart, in part thanks to him!"

"Are you ok with that?" Zoey asked softly. Lowered her voice and looked at him patiently. Giving him time and space. She was unconsciously talking like her dad did when he counselled someone. Even using the same tone and words.

He nodded and smiled. "I'm 13. It was a laugh. Fun."

"Doesn't mean you don't love her though." she told him sincerely. She was about to expand when she heard a beeping.

"Delivery." he said getting up. "I'll have to sort it Amy is down in the surgery, covering for dad and Daniel."

"Hello." a voice called.

"Jeffy?" she asked Ryan smiling. "I need to speak to him."

"Ooooo." Ryan said in girly voice.

Zoey stuck her tongue out and walked from the room. Saw Jeffy at the door.

"Zoey what are you doing here?" he asked smiling. "I was just about to go to yours to see you!"

"It's my granddad's house."

Ryan walked out and took the box from him. Handed Jeffy the money. "That enough?"

Jeffy nodded.

"Good coz that is all dad left!" he cackled. "Now I must go and torture my older sister." he grinned. "O the joys of being the baby brother." he wiggled his eyebrows. "I'll leave you two alone shall I?" he said in a high pitched tone.

"Go away Ry!" Zoey muttered,

He made kissing noises as he did.

"Teenage boys." she breathed. "Can't live with them can't feed them to hungry lions! Well I could but I think his parents might protest."

"You sure?" Jeffy laughed.

"Actually…." she pretended to consider.

They both laughed.

"What was that about actually?"

"My uncle being an idiot." she shrugged.

Jeffy frowned. "HE is your uncle. But he's younger than you."

"I know. My granddad's first wife, my nana died. He met someone new, 9 months later Ryan came and the rest as they say is history. I was 2 and half. His mother should have smothered him!" she said loudly.

"I heard that!" Ryan yelled.

She and Jeffy laughed.

"My next stop is at your place. On my moped."

They walked down the stairs and she saw a moped with a trailer on the back. "Now actually I'm not supposed to be driving this yet but…..I'm a rebel." he grinned and her heart did a funny flip flop in her chest. "You wanna lift?"

She shook her head. "I'm staying here for a little bit."

"That's good. You seem calmer here. Happier."

She nodded smiling.

"Oh well." he said, picking up his helmet.

"You doing anything after dropping off my parents stuff?"

"Can't say that I am." Even if he was he would cancel it in a second for her!

"You could come back here and hang out with me." she suggested.

He smiled. "I'd like that."

"Me too." she agreed.

"I'll drop the stuff off, take the money to my dad and I'll be back here in no time!"

She smiled. "See you." he kissed her cheek quickly pulled on his helmet then climbed on his bike. He winked as it roared to life then left.

Zoey finally exhaled the breath she'd been holding. Why hadn't he kissed her lips? Why had he kissed her cheek? Her thoughts were broken by a gagging noise. She looked back and saw Ryan with his hands around his neck.

"Ha ha." she drawled walking towards him.

Ryan grinned put a hand on his chest and the other out in the air. His face serious. "I shall return one day!" he said in a deep voice. "Don't leave me." he countered in a shrill voice. Dropped to his knees and placed the back of his hand on his forehead. "I sharn't survive!"

Zoey grinned and crossed her arms. "Ry." she said sweetly.

"Wait a minute I got one more!" he said with a smile.

"Do I want to hear this?" she asked. Watched him getting up.

"I don't think so. I just wanna see your face!" he laughed.

Zoey was intrigued. "Go on then."

"I was just wondering in case he's had a tetanus recently."

Zoey's mouth slowly opened. A smile peaking through, only he would say something like that to her, everyone else too scared of how she would take it. In case she took it the wrong way.

Ryan slapped his leg and laughed "I knew you'd react like this!"

"Ryan…." she said calmly.

"Do I have 10 seconds head start?" he wondered.

She nodded. "10!" then ran at him

"Arghh!" he yelled running through the house, Zoey hot on his heels.


	87. Looking

Zoey and Ryan walked back towards the house.

"How did you catch me?" he asked.

"Coz I'm amazing." she laughed.

"Amazingly stupid!" he groused.

"Actually your just really slow!" she pushed his arm.

"Says fatso over there!" he made a face. "I'm surprised you can move at all!"

"HEY, I just got you back for the tetanus remark and now your calling me fat?"

He laughed. They walked around the corner to the front of the house.

"Perfectly executed flying dive by the way. I gave you an 8.5!" he smiled.

"I want 10!" she retorted.

He laughed again.

"I didn't half get you though did I, you turned and just boom!" Zoey said proudly.

They were both laughing when they saw EJ approaching.

"I'll deal with him!" Ryan said stepping forward.

"NO Ry, look he's still my little brother!"

"I won't start anything I promise. Plus is that a moped I hear in the distance?"

He was right. Jeffy pulled up. Zoey looked over at Jeffy and smiled. Then back at EJ.

"I just came to tell you that Jeffy was over at ours Zoey. Obviously you already know though." EJ said softly.

Zoey looked straight through him. "See you later Ry. I think I'll decide to adopt you as my little brother."

"Like I need more big sisters. I have 3!"

"Yeah but it can only get better with me as a big sister. See I'm special!"

"I refuse to comment!" Ryan replied.

Zoey shook her head grinning. "I'll get you for that later!" she promised.

"Hey Zoey." Jeffy called. "I brought a spare helmet, you know if you wanna come for a ride."

She saw Ryan pushing EJ in the direction of the house.

"I dunno Jeffy." she was unsure of being alone with him. She knew he wouldn't hurt her, she just hadn't been alone with anyone since…

Jeffy nodded, aware she had issues. "Ok, we can stay here. I just…." he trailed off.

"What?" she asked.

"I sorta wanted us to be alone. I wanted you to see a special place."

"Why?" she asked not liking he wanted her alone.

"No specific reason, I just missed you. I heard you were in hospital." he looked at the floor. "It scared me." he admitted, his eyes focused on the dusty ground.

She smiled a little. She took the helmet. "Take me to your special place."

He looked at her and grinned. "You sure?"

"Yeah so hurry up before my common sense returns and I change my mind!"

Jeffy pulled his helmet on as did she, then she climbed on the moped behind him.

(X)

Ryan pushed EJ into the house.

EJ spun, "Don't start Ry!" EJ warned.

Ryan smiled at him cockily, unperturbed by his threat. "Or what? You'll bash me in the head with a rock again. Try it!" he said coldly.

EJ deflated. "I didn't mean that!"

Ryan quickly changed the direction of his thoughts. "This isn't about me! Zoey told me what you did!" Ryan hissed.

EJ's feet were moving shiftily.

"She goes through all that and you betray her like that?" Ryan asked in disbelief.

"It's done now!" EJ told him.

"Well UNDO it!" Ryan spat.

EJ made a face.

"If you care about your sister at all you would, I would rather die then do that to my sisters. See I LOVE them!"

"Yeah well I don't care about her! She told me she doesn't have a brother, apart from YOU that is!" EJ fumed.

Ryan shook his head. "She is always your sister idiot! I just found out that Amy is my sister 3 days ago and I feel the same about her as I do Lexi and Amie!"

EJ turned thoughtful, then frowned. "I can't, I just can't!" he told him. "You do it!"

"I promised her I wouldn't tell!" Ryan told him seriously.

"Break it." EJ said.

"What like you did? I'm the only one she can come to, I refuse to break her trust EJ."

"About that Ry, she broke our bargain not me - why shouldn't I have done what I did?"

Ryan exhaled noisily. "She has been through a hell of a lot more then you! You did drugs for, I dunno why, peer pressure? Sheer stupidity?" he shrugged genuinely not understanding why EJ tried them. "She was trying to find a way to cope and found one. The wrong one but ….." he trailed off. "You know I'm actually proud of the way she is acting, at least she is trying. She stumbled but she's trying!"

Ryan admitting he was proud reverberated though EJ. "I'm a rubbish brother huh?"

"Yes!" Ryan told him seriously.

"Thanks." EJ said dryly. Had forgot how honest Ry was. He didn't offer empty platitudes, just told you how it was. Got that from his mother. Speaking of mothers, EJ's walked through the door.

Ryan turned and smiled. "Hi Lex."

"Hi little bro. EJ." she said walking towards them. "Do you know where Zoey is?"

"She went…." EJ started.

Ryan elbowed him, silently telling him not to say a word about Jeffy. Lexi might freak out.

"She was outside." Ryan said blandly.

Lexi nodded.

"Is Amie ok?" Ryan asked. His face concerned.

"We hope so, she's stable."

"And that's good right?" Ryan asked frowning.

Lexi walked forward and hugged him quickly. "Amie will be fine." she assured.

Ryan nodded.

"You ok EJ?" his mum asked.

EJ nodded. Still watching Ryan and his mum. Regardless of the age difference they had an easy relationship. It hadn't occurred to him before that his mum was a sister, especially not Ryan's. It was hard picturing her in a role like Zoey was to him, I mean she was his mum!

"If dad calls with news on Amie, I'll come find you ok Lex." Ryan told her.

She nodded and smiled. "Thanks Ry." then she left.

"Ryan can I ask you something?" EJ asked when his mothers body disappeared.

"Go ahead."

"Will you help me? You know, not to hurt Zoey?"

Ryan exhaled. "Come to my room." he grabbed the cordless phone and led EJ into his room.

(X)

Lexi looked around Leopard's Den. Couldn't find Zoey anywhere. She walked down to the surgery. Found Amy in one of the pens a stethoscope on a Roycat. Amy held up her hand to silence Lexi. Lexi looked at her. The last woman vet they had here had been her mother and she died 15 years ago. Lexi quickly realised that it felt good to see another woman taking charge in here. Amy was a welcome change she smiled knowing that her mum would feel the same.

"Good girl." Amy murmured. "Knew you were a fighter!" Ran her hand down the animals chest. Looked up at Lexi.

"Hi." she smiled.

"Do you know where Zoey is?" Lexi murmured leaning against the pen.

Amy shook her head and walked over to the medicine cabinet. Pulled out a few bottles.

"Sorry no. I've been down here a while. I know that the bedroom she was given is the yellow one."

"My old room?" Lexi asked. Then remembered that Amy wouldn't know that.

"Could be. Mum put her in there. She said she likes patterns like that so it probably is." Amy murmured. Carried the medication to the pens.

Lexi frowned at the mum comment. "O you mean Miss?"

Amy looked at her. So she was in the same mindset as Amie then? Nodded stiffly.

"I think it's great that your giving her a chance. She's an amazing person, she's made mistakes but who hasn't?" Lexi told her.

Amy smiled at her. Relieved that she didn't have Lexi to contend with too. "I'm trying and so is she. She's nice, I'll give her that."

Lexi nodded. "You won't regret it." Lexi thought for a second. "But now I think we need to make you an official part of the family. There are too many men around. You being here sorta evens us out a little. Plus a girl can never have too many sisters."

Amy raised her eyebrows. "Sister?"

Lexi shrugged. "Yeah, Missy is practically a mother to all of us, me and Amie especially. Trust me after a few months of her clucking you'll be begging her to leave you alone. Yeah and about Amie….." Lexi nodded smiling. "She's the sister that'll get you out of a tight spot. Or into one." Lexi laughed.

"Yeah." Amy said dryly. Gave out the meds.

Amie was gonna get hers. She was no sister of hers and NEVER would be! And Missy wasn't anything to do with her, well not after she was finished. She was going to put her plan in action. Sow the seed of doubt and then let the poison seep. And if that didn't work then there was always plan B, already formulated she just needed to pick her time!

"Amy?" Lexi asked.

"Sorry, miles away." Amy admitted.

"If you see Zoey will you tell her I'm looking for her?"

Amy nodded.

As Lexi walked out she turned back. "Hey Amy." she called.

Amy looked ay her. "Yeah."

"You owe me so many birthday and Christmas prezzies it's unreal."

Amy grinned.

Lexi walked out of the surgery. Amy decided that being part of this family wasn't that bad.

(X)

Lexi walked towards the main house. Rang Ethan to see if Zoey had went home.

"No Lex, sorry she's isn't here." he told her then added softly. "She knows."

"What about the baby?"

"Yeah, I didn't tell her she clicked."

"How'd she take it?" Lexi asked worriedly.

"Could've been better. We had a little argument, which quickly turned to the drugs. It was then she said she couldn't live with people who lied and didn't trust her."

Lexi exhaled. "Ok."

"How you feeling Lex?"

"Sick. Stressed. The usual when I'm with child."

She couldn't see but she swore he was smiling. Heard it in his voice. "Try and keep calm yeah? It's not good for you, or the baby."

"I will. Lo…..See you later. Eth." Lexi quickly disconnected.

God what was wrong with her? She had nearly said she loved him. Damn hormones! He showed a little concern and she nearly drops that on him. She was going to have to watch herself. She didn't wanna make him uncomfortable. This was his child too and she didn't want him to think they were a package. She walked into her old room and saw it was empty. Saw a pen and paper lying on the bed. Felt her heart lurch. Hurried over and saw the paper was blank. No goodbye notes, no letters. Not like last time…it was then she noticed the bed side drawer was slightly ajar. She pulled it open and saw a folded sheet inside. Zoey handwriting leaped out at her.

**Zoey Skye Bell - Age 15. Explanations.**

_Right, I'm sat….well lain on this bed (for proper ages by the way) thinking about what to write. The words aren't really coming. it's kinda hard. There is just some stuff I really need to get off my chest before I can move on y'know? God who am I talking to, it's not like anyone is here with me. God Zoey shut up, stop talking outloud! You know what I get the feeling I'm a little nutty! Actually you know what that little arguments with myself just sums up what I've been doing the last few months. Hiding. Changing the subject when it becomes hard. Delaying the inevitable. Delaying having to face up to what William did to me. What Swift caused. What __**I **__caused. The way I see it is I can hold off for a little bit longer. See this is gonna be the hardest thing I have ever had to do like in my life so I guess I'm entitled to a little hiding before I bear my soul. And whoever doesn't agree can jog on! Is that right Nutty? She agrees!_

_I guess the inspiration for this comes from something my mum wrote when she was my age. The stuff in here is gonna be stuff that needs to be released. It won't be nice, or easy but if I don't let it out I dunno what will I might do. All I know is that holding it inside isn't helping. I already know that I can't talk about it, but writing it down? I dunno. I might crack up. I might feel the same. It may help a lot or not at all but I guess I won't know until I try huh? Ok then so here goes. I'll start from the beginning_

'_On a hot and sunny day after school I met a boy named Swift…..'_

(X)

Lexi stopped reading. If Zoey wanted her to see this then it wouldn't be hidden. To be honest Lexi wasn't sure if she actually wanted to know the rest. She folded up the paper and put it back where it was. She sat on the bed and thinking of what might have inspired Zoey. The one and only time she had wrote something that helped her vent was when she had cancer. And she had cancer when she was 15. Zoey must have found it. Lexi wished she could remember what she wrote. She couldn't remember a word of it. She'd been off her face on pain relief and chemo at the time. Lexi was sure she hadn't kept any of that stuff. It held bad memories. Lexi didn't want to be reminded of that time. It wasn't something you forgot!

A line that Zoey wrote refused to leave her. It kept coming back niggling at the edge of her mind, 'There is just some stuff I really need to get off my chest before I can move on….'

Move on? Lexi thought. Move on where? Stuff she needed to say? Why now? What was she planning? What was she gonna do? Oh no not again! She immediately rang Ethan.

**A/N the plot is startin to thicken. Jeffy has taken Zoey away, to a special place - alone...why? Is he actually a good guy? or another Swift?  
****You also got a little glimpse of Amy's real reason for being here too...watch this space  
****EJ and Ry starting to sort of rebond.  
****And finally Lexi is worried Zoey is gonna do something stupid...Keep reading.**


	88. Cliff

Night came quickly. Lexi and Ethan were going crazy.

"Where is she Ethan? Where is she? Was all Lexi kept repeating.

They rang her phone. No answer. Eventually Ryan had told her that Jeffy had came to see her. They got in touch with his dad and found out that he had disappeared too. He'd been acting shifty when he visited earlier. Took a bag of stuff then just left.

"Ethan what if Jeffy has took her? What if they've ran away? What if we never see her again?" hysteria rose in her voice after every statement.

"Look honey try to calm down." Ethan soothed. "We've called the police, they're looking."

"I'm gonna strangle her Ethan, I swear it!" she vowed. If she ever saw her again. Tears filled her eyes and her throat grew tight.

Ethan walked into the bathroom and grabbed some tablets walked back into the room and handed them to Lexi. "Take these and lie down."

Lexi shook her head.

"I'll come get you as soon as I hear something. I promise."

"What about….." she gestured to her stomach.

"I checked. They won't harm it."

She nodded. "You'll get me?" she needed assurance.

"I promise." he repeated. Pressed a quick kiss to her lips.

"Sealed with a kiss." they murmured together.

She took the tablets and he took her to her room. "You want me to stay for a while?" he asked.

She nodded and lay face down on the bed.

He sat on the floor by her bed and held her hand loosely. She closed her eyes.

"You won't be able to lie on your stomach much longer." he whispered. Resisted the urge to touch her face. God he loved her!

All was silent for 5 minutes.

"Eth?" Lexi asked.

"Yeah." he replied. Still resisting the urge to touch her - barely. He found it ironic she was pregnant with his child and he couldn't touch her.

"Do you have any feelings about what our baby is gonna be?"

"I do." he murmured.

"You were right with Zoey and EJ. What do you think now?"

"Little girl." he answered. "Katy. Our second choice for Zoey remember."

She smiled wistfully. "Yeah. You love that name."

She nodded. "I do."

"I like it." she murmured sleepily. "Katy Bell." her breathing turned slow and deep. "Night Ethan." she breathed. "Love you."

He stood up, not able to resist the urge any longer. He kissed her head. "Love you too." he then touched her still flat stomach then left the room.

(X)

EJ saw his dad leave his mum's room. "How is she?"

"Beside herself with worry. I finally convinced her to get some sleep. The sleeping tablets helped. She doesn't need to be stressing at the moment."

"Mum is good at dealing with stress dad."

Ethan led EJ into the living room. "Look son, your mum is pregnant."

"Really?" EJ asked. "Whoa."

Ethan stared at him. "Is that all?"

"What? Do you want applause?" EJ asked smiling.

Ethan smiled. "No."

"Good, coz seeing as me and Zoey are here you and mum have no problems." EJ grinned

"Look son, we need to try and make stuff easier for your mum until it's here."

EJ nodded. "I'm sorry for how I acted to you."

Ethan looked at him. Giving him space to elaborate if he needed to.

"I hated you for leaving me." EJ admitted.

"I didn't want to leave son. I just couldn't sit around and wait for the police to come and tell me the same stuff they always did. No sign. It felt like nothing was being done. Me and your mum weren't getting along either….." Ethan trailed off.

"I know dad. I just….I convinced myself that you loved Zoey more then me." crossed his arms. Looked at the floor.

"Oh EJ, really that isn't true. I love all 3 of you the same."

"3? O yeah bump. Well soon to be bump. Guess your pretty chuffed huh?"

Ethan smiled. "It'll be hard but yeah. I'm happy about the baby."

"You obviously love mum a lot."

Ethan nodded.

EJ exhaled. "So why not just tell her and get it over with. I mean you have me and Zoey. She's pregnant with your kid too! That didn't happen by itself!"

"Maybe." Ethan said worried. Lexi had said she loved him - but she was half asleep and had tablets in her system. For all she knew she had been dreaming about someone else and said his name coz he disturbed her when he moved.

"Look when Zoey turns up wake me ok dad." he asked. Then hugged him quickly, impulsively.

"I will son." patted his back then released him.

EJ walked into his room.

When EJ had hugged him there Ethan had been reminded of his hug with Danny when he was 15. How it had been a split second thing, impulsive but at the same time massive progress in a fragile relationship. He was happy his relationshp with EJ was geting back on track.

He walked into the kitchen to brew some coffee. Finally his family seemed to be coming together, was it at the cost of his baby girl though? He hoped not!

(X) Earlier

Zoey wrapped her arms around Jeffy's waist. She rested her helmet against his back as he rode his moped. He stopped of at his house, came out carrying a bag. Then climbed back onto the bike and they sped off quickly. He went off road into the bush. Parked his bike and hid it.

"C'mon we have to hike the rest of the way." he told her.

She nodded.

He took her hand and twined her fingers with his. She didn't object so that's how they stayed. They chatted as they walked. Then they climbed up some rocks. He led her into a cave.

"Jeffy….." Zoey murmured.

"Trust me." he said softly. Coaxing her with his voice.

She nodded and she allowed herself to be led. He removed a torch from his bag. They walked. A pair of rocks loomed ahead. They emerged from them back into the sunlight.

Zoey saw they were stood on the lip of a cliff that overlooked a spectacular view. The sheer beauty of the sight overwhelmed her. "Wow." she breathed.

"I know. Amazing isn't it?" he whispered.

She nodded. Completely in awe of the scene around her. Trees and plants all moulded together. The sun gleaming down on everything. The mountains in the distance.

"This is beyond gorgeous Jeffy."

He looked at her. "I've seen better." he said without thinking then shook his head.

Zoey looked at him.

"Sorry, it slipped out." he went into his bag and pulled out a blanket. Laid it on the ground and smoothed it. He patted it and motioned her to sit next to him.

She did. Her eyes never leaving the awesome view before her.

"I'll never be able to come back here without thinking of you." he told her.

"Yeah you will." Zoey murmured. "The beauty of the scenery will just clear your mind of all other thought."

He shook his head. "I come here often and the scenery has never looked as beautiful when you were standing there."

"Jeffy." Zoey began.

"It isn't a line. Zoey. Really it isn't I mean every word!"

Her breath caught. Could see the sincerity shining in his eyes. Hear it in his tone.

Jeffy face turned to one of self derision. "Sorry, I'm making you uncomfortable aren't I? I don't mean to really…..I just really like you that's all."

Zoey felt an urge and scooted closer to him. Moved his arm so she was almost leaning against him. "Ssshhh." she breathed.

"Zoey what….." Jeffy began.

She silenced him when her lips rested on his. Her eyes drifted closed, he kissed her back. The kiss was slow and sweet. Jeffy kissed her so gently. Trying so hard to be slow. He put one of his hands on hers, not around her, needing her to know she wasn't crowded and could pull away at any time.

After a few moments they pulled back at the same time. Zoey smiled at him. Her feelings clear to see in her eyes.

"Zoey…..why…."

"Coz I felt like it. And I like you too." she rested her head on his chest. "A lot."

He leaned back against a rock that led them from their view. Gently placed one arm around her. She stiffened for a second, then realised she had an escape if she needed one relaxed. They sat for a few minutes, enjoying the feel of each other close.

His voice rumbled in his chest. "I actually brought you here to play you a song. I heard it and thought of you. It's called never Alone by Lady Antebellum. I want you to know that the whole song is dedicated to you but the second verse is the one I need you to listen to. You wanna hear it?"

She nodded.

He pulled out his phone and played the song. A woman began singing, just a piano in the background. She was singing about angels and friends and knowing that she was accepted. She sang about winning and never changing, about staying true to herself. Then the chorus in the singers strong beautiful voice that she is there and will never leave the one she loves. Then the second verse started.

_Well I have to be honest, as much as I want it._

_I'm not gonna promise, the cold wind won't blow._

_So when hard times have found you, and your fears surround you_

_Wrap my love around you, your never alone._

_Never alone, never al-o-one._

_I'll be in every beat of your heart when you face the unknown_

_Wherever you fly, there is no goodbye_

_My love will follow you - stay with you - baby your never alone._

(X)

Tears filled Zoey's eyes. "Wow Jeffy." she whispered.

He squeezed her gently. "I'm so glad I met you." he whispered.

"Me too." she agreed. "You're the best friend I've ever had!" she stayed silent. "I wish I had heard that song last week."

"Why?" he whispered.

"I felt alone then. If I had this song then I don't think I would have….you know. I would have just listened to that and knew that somewhere you were out there thinking of me. Supporting me even though you weren't there."

"You don't need a song to know I'm here for you Zoey. I just am." he promised.

Zoey sighed. Falling for him more after every word he said. "Can we stay here forever? Just forget about parents and brothers and just be us?"

Jeffy liked how she referred to them as 'us.' "We could spend the night here." he suggested.

She looked up at him sharply. Pulled away.

"Not like that. God Zoey I don't…..well….I do….just I know….." he exhaled. "Forget I said it."

Zoey gazed at him. "Jeffy…." she said softly.

"You been through stuff Zoey. I wouldn't rush you into that. I just didn't think. I want to spend as much time with you as I can."

She was silent a minute. Then nodded slowly. Realising that she trusted him. Knew deep down that he wouldn't hurt her. Not ever. "I'll stay here with you. No funny stuff though!"

He grinned boyishly. "Hey, I'm a good boy!" he assured.

Zoey leaned in and kissed him softly once again.

**A/N again i'm a liar, jeffy is no swift, he's a nice guy :D poor lex/eth tho at least EJ and ethan er getting on tho :D x**


	89. Bad Times

Zoey came awake slowly. She became aware quickly that she wasn't in her room. Aware that she was lying on something hard and…oh God there was a body next to her! William was the automatic thought and she pulled away quickly. Then she opened her eyes and was looking into warm brown eyes that were flecked with green, an endearing grin and messy brown hair. Wow she had never noticed that he had green in his eyes, his golden tan looked gorgous in the morning sun. Jeffy simply looked sleepy and adorable.

"Morning." he murmured.

"Morning." she replied with a wry smile. Realised she had probably been staring like a mindless idiot. Then she thought he'd... "Sorry about…..jumping away I…."

He stopped her sensing this wasn't the time or the place. Their relationship was too fragile. "I get it." was all he said.

She smiled at him grateful, she hadn't wanted to say anything but felt she owed him some sort of explanation. "The stars were so beautiful last night." she murmured.

"They were." he agreed. "I had the best time."

"Me too. But we're in big trouble you know." she told him.

"O yeah! My dad is gonna kill me! I don't care though, I had this time with you." he touched her cheek gently and smiled into her eyes.

"Do you think they'll believe we didn't sleep with each other?" she asked finger combing her hair.

He shook his head. "Probably not. Adults always think the worst. Especially when it comes to 15/16 year olds." he exhaled. "Doesn't matter about how much we respect each other or care, see we're a raging mass of hormones."

She raised her eyebrows.

"My dad's words. Told me I better not bring a baby home any time soon." he rolled his eyes. "I'm sure parents think that teenagers are stupid!"

She smiled.

"Sorry." he grinned. "Rant over promise."

She shook her head. "Na I think it's cute. Your cute."

"I just think that parents are hypocrites, I mean if they hadn't done anything then we wouldn't be here. Why torture your kids with stuff they did themselves?"

"I agree." she said seriously. "Just coz adults can't control themselves!" she said in disgust. She had told him about her mother being pregnant again.

"Hey!" he chided. "It isn't that easy controlling yourself. I'm having a hard time right now." he took her hand and pulled her slowly to him. Giving her time to pull back. She didn't. he put one arm around her. Pressed his lips to hers.

Zoey was getting used to kissing Jeffy. It was nice. Safe and he never crowded her.

He pulled back. "But see we know the wisdom of not doing anything, they are the idiots - not us." he grinned. Then added "C'mon let's go, or I might be tempted to stay and then WE would be the idiots!" he wiggled his eyebrows.

"You wish!" she retorted. They packed everything up then made their way inside the cave and back towards his bike.

(X)

A little while later his bike pulled up onto Mini Leopards Den. She kissed him quickly.

"I'll call you." she promised.

"So you're my girlfriend now?" he asked with a shy smile.

"Are you asking me out?" she hinted.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" he asked at her hint.

"I'd love to." she grinned. "Talk soon." she patted his hand.

He got off his bike and took off his helmet.

"What you doing?"

"C'mon, I'll take you in." he told her.

"My parents will skewer you!" she warned.

"I need to prove I'm a good guy." he smiled "Plus I can hide behind you."

"O my hero!" she said dryly. Looked at him, loving that he was willing to be by her side even though her parents would no doubt blame him for everything.

He took her hand and led her up to the front door. She was still holding Jeffy's hand tightly when they walked into the house.

"Mum, dad!" she called.

Her dad appeared in a second. A whole array of emotions crossed her dad's face. Relief, confusion, then anger. "Where have you been?" he asked voice tightly coiled.

"I've been with Jeffy." she said simply. Squeezed his hand.

"Where?"

She looked at Jeffy unsure. "South of Jo'burg near the cape."

"And the reason you didn't come home?"

"My fault." Jeffy spoke up.

"I'll get to you in a minute!" he spat at Jeffy.

"Don't talk to Jeffy like that!" Zoey fumed.

Ethan's eyes narrowed. "Tell you what, I'm gonna get your mother. She's been worried sick. Zoey we'll talk later. Jeffy you can get out of here while I'm still restraining myself!"

"Who do you think you are threatening him?" Zoey shouted.

"So release my daughters hand and don't expect to see her again!" Ethan finished ignoring Zoey. The he stomped off to get Lexi.

Zoey took a step forward but Jeffy gestured her back and shook his head. "Look I'd better be going. I'll call ok." he promised.

She looked at him and nodded.

He touched her cheek softly. "Let him bad mouth me if it makes him feel better ok."

She shook her head. "No - he doesn't understand you or me…..us."

He grinned. "I love that you feel the need to protect me from your dad."

"I just love all of you." she said softly. Led him to the front door.

"I'd kiss you but don't wanna push your parents too far. Ah to hell with it!" he kissed her gently. "It's worth it!"

He then walked down the stairs and climbed on his bike. Waved him off. Felt alone when he was gone. She missed him already. He was the only one she could truly be herself with. Regardless of anything. No act was needed coz somehow he understood. She felt normal when she was with him. Not some freak who had been kept prisoner - just Zoey, a normal teenage girl.

As she walked back inside her mother came running from her room and pulled Zoey close. "I've been so worried!" tears streamed from her eyes.

"I'm sorry mum." she said contritely.

"Do you even realise what we went through?" she asked angrily.

"No." Zoey said honestly.

"Did it not occur to you that we'd worry?" Lexi spat.

"Not at the time." she admitted.

Lexi stared at her a second. Her dad stood behind her.

"Look Zoey, you spent the night with Jeffy yes?"

Zoey nodded.

Lexi looked uneasy.

Zoey exhaled and looked at the ceiling. "I didn't mum, even if I wanted to which I didn't I couldn't!"

Lexi frowned not understanding.

"No doubt I'd remember stuff and just….." she shook her head. "Just no. he didn't even try. He didn't even mention it!" she hissed. "He understands me without me having to spell it out. He cares!"

"The same way Swift did?" her dad asked.

"Don't dare compare Jeffy to Swift that's like comparing a nun to a serial killer! Jeffy cares about me!" she repeated.

"You THOUGHT Swift cared, or have you forgot that so quickly?"

"Dad don't do this!" Zoey warned.

"Ethan." Lexi squeaked.

"Lex we know nothing about this boy!"

"He brought me home didn't he? Swift didn't!" Zoey was quickly losing her temper.

"Yeah this time Zoey. I'm not losing you again Zoey. Not for some boy!"

"Ethan…." Lexi said hand on her stomach.

"He isn't just some boy dad! I really like him!" Zoey protested. Father and daughter unaware of Lexi's discomfort.

"Well I forbid you to see him, end of discussion!" Ethan told her simply.

"Ethan!" Lexi gasped then bent double.

"Lexi!" Ethan declared. His face scared.

"Mum?" Zoey squeaked.

Lexi was panting. "Abdominal pain isn't good Ethan."

Ethan supported Lexi then turned to Zoey. Look Zoey I'm taking your mum to hospital, get EJ and go over to your granddad's ok?"

She nodded quickly.

Her mum and and left the house and she knocked on EJ's bedroom door.

"C'min." he called.

She walked in. EJ's eyes widened. "Your home?"

She nodded. "Look we gotta go to granddad's."

"Why?"

"Dad's taken mum to hospital. She's had pains."

"Is it the baby?" he asked worriedly.

She shrugged. "Could be!"

He jumped out of bed. "This is all your fault! If mum loses the baby it's coz of you!"

"No it isn't!" she defended.

"Yes it is. Running away again!"

"I didn't run away, I'm here aren't I?" she defended herself.

"Where did you go then?" he fumed.

"Not that it is anything to do with toy but I stayed out with Jeffy!"

EJ's face turned to one of disgust. "You slept with him. God, you've known him all of 5 minutes. Do you realise what that makes you look like?"

"Say it and I'll break your jaw." she warned.

"Only slutty girls sleep with lads they barely know!"

Zoey's hands clenched into tight fists. "For your information I didn't sleep with him, I just stayed with him at night. Nothing else happened!"

"Yeah and coz of that mum is losing the baby!" EJ shouted.

"None of this would be happening if you told them the truth. They don't trust me at all coz of you!"

"Shut up Zoey, acting all holier than thou, you would have done it too!"

"Do what?"

"Drugs!" he spat. "You would if your friends were, if Jeffy was!"

"No I wouldn't. I'd rather die!"

"Bullshit!" he retorted.

"O so the little boy wants some proof. Are you sure you can handle it though?" she asked coldly.

He frowned.

"No denial then, ok lets go let me tell you a story, of a boy."

EJ's face twisted. "Go to hell Zoey, I want a shower."

"Listen to me one final time then you can go back to your own little existence and I'll go back to mine and never the twain shall meet!"

He shook his head.

"I guarantee after hearing this you'll never touch drugs again!" she told him seriously.

He scoffed but sat back down ion his bed. "Fine."

Zoey grabbed a chair. Put it backwards and straddled it. Her chest rested against the back. She placed her arms on the top and balanced her chin on them. Her eyes turned distant. "There's this boy, lets say he's 13. Just a normal average boy nothing special or remarkable about him. He gets in with the wrong crowd at school. Suddenly to fit in he's trying so hard to be a rebel but it isn't working."

"Zoey if this story is about me then your already wrong!" he interrupted.

"This isn't about you." she assured. "Anyway as I said trying and failing to be a rebel. THEN his new friends offer him beer and drugs. The boy tries them, likes them. Enjoys the buzz they give him. Time goes by for this boy. His friends try harder stuff and before he knows it he gets deeper and deeper until he's pulled under. Hooked on hard stuff with no where to turn!"

"Zoey that will never happen to me." he promised thinking her story was finished.

"My story doesn't end there." she said coldly.

EJ frowned and quieted.

"Ok, so many years pass, this boy, well man now is in deep trouble with his dealer. Owes him a lot of money but can't pay his debt. The people he owes don't like waiting EJ. They get really nasty! He does the only thing he can do, he does a runner. After some time he finds out some interesting info. The dealers boss, he likes young girls. Teenage girls."

EJ's eyes widened, his face turned sick.

Zoey ignored his horrified expression. "So he befriends some school kids. Sees the perfect girl. Petite, big brown eyes. And most of all naive! Can't forget that! How could the boss say no to this girl? So he sets up his friend to try and take her bag and he saves her. Her knight in shining armour. She falls for it. It helps the boy is cute too. He's so slow with her, gentle and doesn't try to rush her into things like other boys her age. She's convinced she's in love and that he feels the same. It's all in her mind though. He's biding his time." she exhaled and shook her head carried on.

"Her parents find out about their relationship. They kick off. She's 14, the girl thinks that he's 17 it's lies of course. He's 22. See EJ he planned all this. She told him what her dad would do if he found out so what does he do? He calls her when he knows her dad will overhear. Says something that is certain to make her dad flip then gets caught in her bedroom. He knew she'd do whatever he wanted at this point. See she loved him that much! He tried to make her run away with him, so they could be together. Start a new life. She wasn't quite ready to go until she heard some disturbing news. Life altering news. After that she was like I'm off! This boy, he drives her somewhere, she's like driving? He's only 17 he reassures her like he always does. God how gullible is she huh?" she asked sarcastically.

Her eyes turned hard. "You wanna know where he took her EJ?"

EJ knew this story, recognised it. It was hard not to. He just stared at her.

Zoey leaned forward as far as the chair would allow, as it happened she and was face to face with EJ. "She ends up in a crack den. People lying on filthy mattresses. It's dirty and smelly and disgusting and all she wants is to go home but this boy just won't let her go. As she passes, a man propositions her. Tells her if she's have it rough he'll give her more. And you seriously don't want to know the other things he asked her to do."

"Zoey." EJ gulped.

"YOU started this. We'll see it through. OK! See little brother the best is yet to come! See this boy, I realise he has no name. let's call him Swift huh. And this girl, this poor naïve young girl let's say she's Zoey. See Swift takes Zoey to his dealer and tells him take her to pay off my debt! I…..sorry SHE was his payment! By this point she's scared but fighting, if you knew this girl you'd know she wouldn't take it lying down. The dealer phones his boss and you know what Swift apologised. Said they would kill him!. This boss decided he wants Zoey. Like she's property but they aren't happy with Swift. Decide to make an example of him. The dealer pulls out a gun and shoots him in the head. His blood splattered all over her!" she paused breathing heavily. "You don't want me to carry on do you EJ?"

He shook his head. Eyes glistening.

"All this shit, William it was ALL coz of drugs so don't dare tell me I would touch them OK! And now you know why I don't want them for you. I can't change what happened to me but I can try and make sure that you don't turn into a Swift not that you would but you never know when your desperate. See I could go on you know EJ, I could go on for hours. Like how he drugged me, beat me up, attacked me and why? Because Swift owed money for drugs!"

"I won't touch them again Zoey. I swear!" EJ promised voice shaking.

Zoey nodded. Hating that she had to take this route with him. As long as it worked though. She exhaled. Dropped her head into her hands. "Thank you."

"I'll tell mum and dad that the drugs are mine too." he told her.

She shook her head. "Mum doesn't need it right now. Just don't go near them again. I can handle mum and dad. I'm going in the shower now. Talking about Swift and William…." she shuddered.

He nodded. "I'm sorry Zoey. For everything."

"Don't mention it…I mean that. I don't wanna talk of this again ok."

"Ok." he agreed.

Zoey walked from EJ's room quickly, memories flooding her as she ran into the bathroom.

**A/N ok a very full chappie lots going on, lexi at hosp - Zoey going through the memeories for EJ - bless her.  
i think that the next 2 chapters will be farly short then we'll have a time jump. could be 3 chapters who know's they aren't typed yet :D x**


	90. Changes

Amie's first conscious thought was pain. Everywhere hurt, especially her chest. She tried to ignore it but it burned unrelentingly. Refused to leave her. A pounding in her head began.

She hazarded opening her eyes and looked at her dad's tired form. His head was nodding. "Can a girl get an aspirin?" she croaked.

"Amie?" her dad jumped up immediately wide awake.

She swallowed and grimaced. Her throat was raw and tight. "The one and only."

"How are you baby?" he whispered and held her hand.

"Sore." she admitted. "Tired."

"Can you stay awake long enough for Tom to see you? He's here. He's been really worried about you."

She nodded. "I will."

"Do you remember what happened Amie?"

She nodded then winced as pain streaked through her. Note to self, don't move!

"You gonna tell me?" Danny asked.

"Nope. As far as you are concerned I fell from the window hanging curtains for a sweet innocent old woman."

Danny shook his head and opened his mouth to reply.

Amie was saved from his tirade by Tom entering the room. He saw she was awake. "Amie!" he breathed overjoyed. The biggest grin spread across his face.

"Hello Tom." she told him and smiled back. Pain forgotten. Her feelings written all over her face.

Danny looked at his daughter, saw the look on her face. The sparkle in her eyes. Danny had seen that same look on her mothers face countless times as Alice had looked at him. This Tom had no idea how lucky he was!

"Dad." Amie hinted.

"Ok." he said and rose. "I'd better go call Missy and Lexi anyway."

As soon as Danny left the room Amie lifted her and hugged Tom tightly. He held her tenderly.

"God Amie, don't do that to me ok!" he asked.

"I'm sorry."

He kissed her lips gently. "I found you, in such a bad way." his eyes were pained as he remembered.

"I counted on it." she smiled. "My Thomas wouldn't leave me behind."

"I must say I have ulterior motives for saving you. See your gorgeous and I couldn't live without you." he touched her cheek softly. "How are you?"

"You could tell me, I have no idea."

"Well the docs said you have a broken arm, broken ribs and a fractured skull."

"What about shattered bones and a cracked pelvis?" Like her mother said she wondered silently.

He shook his head. "None of that. Your incredibly lucky to fall the way you did." he told her. Pressed a kiss to her hand.

"Was anyone else with me when I was found?" she questioned.

He shook his head.

"Dammit!" she declared. "I gotta…."

he put his hands on her shouders pushed her down gently. "Sit down Amie." he murmured gravely.

"Tom?" she didn't like his tone of voice.

"Look, I didn't wanna tell you this yet but…."

"Tom?" she asked. More worried then before.

"I wasn't gonna mention it until you were better but I can see that your gonna go gung ho again so…."

"Spit it out!" she declared the suspense killing her.

"We had a complaint….you….Amie your suspended pending further enquiry."

She sat up straight and winced. "I'm what?"

"I've received a complaint. From a man, you hung him upside down by his ankles. He thought you were insane!" Tom watched Amie's face. Searched for anything that might indicate that she didn't do it. What he saw proved she did do it. She looked almost smug, strike that she WAS smug!

"They deserved it! I knew I should have cut their tongues out!"

Tom's eyes bugged.

"Joke." she muttered dryly.

"Dammit Amie do you see what position I'm in now? I know you done it. You can be dishonourably discharged for this! You can't do stuff like that when your on active duty!"

She exhaled angrily and shook her head.

"Who helped you?" he asked.

"O so your questioning me now?" she asked. "In my hospital bed, is that so I can tell the panel I was off my face on drugs and all evidence is dismissible?" she spat.

"Shut up Amie this is me asking not some warden! So who helped you?"

"No one!" she told him defiantly.

"I knew someone did. My guess Sparky coz your close. Or Hogey coz he owes you!"

Her face remained neutral.

"Fine I'll suspend both of them.

"No Tom, no one helped me. Look I'll admit when I first met Sparky he gave me hacking tips to get into computer systems which is how I got the info that's all. I had no help from anyone. I'm Amie Trevanion I don't need help!" she told her cockily.

He stared at her. Looked at her disappointed. "It's not fair you can lie to my face so easily. I know you Amie. You can lie well but not to me." his blue eyes sad.

God did he have to look at her like that? He killed her! "Tom please." she asked softly. "Suspend me I deserve it but don't deprive the team of other members, people will get hurt. Plus he doesn't deserve to have his career wrecked. I'm not asking for any favours for myself. Keep Sparky out of this, please for me."

"You should have came to me Amie. Sorted this officially."

"My niece needed me. That wasn't official, it was family. Plus I'm not the type to wait I went in the same day. How long would I have to wait for you to get clearance. Not that you would have!"

"It hurts that you don't trust me, that you wouldn't come to me with this."

"Tom I do trust you. I just did this alone. I didn't need the team!"

"You went to Sparkly - not the person who loves you!"

"I didn't want you getting in trouble or even trying to stop me. Plus you're the boss!"

"Me being the boss didn't stop you from starting a relationship did it?" he fumed.

"That was on the cards long before you were my boss! You and I both know that!"

"No actually. You only decided you wanted me when I was your boss!"

Her eyes darkened. She launched from her bed and pinned him to the floor. Her cast over his neck. He was shocked that she could be injured and still move that fast.

"If you view me like that and my feelings then get out of here now! And NEVER come back!"

She stood up, resisted the urge to grab her ribs. Show no weakness Ames! Then she pointed to the door, couldn't hold back the wince. "I never wanna see you again!"

He picked himself up. "Goodbye Amie." he hissed - then walked out without looking back.

(X)

Lexi sat panting in the car. "Not again Ethan - not again!"

"Look the same happening with Zoey remember? She was fine, this one will be too!"

He sounded so sure but Lexi could see the fear in his eyes. Even though their child hadn't been planned it had become part of their life so quickly. He pulled into the hospital and helped her from the car. They were ushered into a room where a man sat at a scanning machine. Ethan held Lexi's hand.

"Don't worry Lex, it'll be fine I promise." he kissed her head.

Lexi sat on the chair and it was adjusted.

"The gel will be cold." the man murmured as he squirted it on her stomach.

The technician moved the receiver across her stomach, after a few moments an image appeared on a screen. A tiny little thing, not even distinguishable yet. Little buds for arms and legs. A little flash was it's tiny heart beating. Ethan and Lexi looked at each other and smiled. Their baby was fine.

"Miss Trevanion I can see from the images that part of the lining of the uterus came away, tell me are you or have you been stressed recently?"

She nodded.

"You need to reduce all stress, and workload. Older mothers often develop complications such as pre-eclampsia and although you are still fairly young in your thirties it is still a risk!"

Lexi nodded.

The doctor printed them off a picture. Handed it to Ethan who stared at it and smiled.

Lexi wiped the gel from her stomach and the technician led them out. "How about we check on Amie then get ourselves home. The pain she once felt was only a slight niggle. Bearable now. Especially since she knew that her little nugget was safe and sound.

(X)

Lexi and Ethan walked into Amie's room. Saw her sat up looking miserable.

"Ames?" Lexi asked walking in.

Amie turned her head. "Lex….sorry I didn't notice you. I was miles away."

Lexi smiled and hugged her. "Thank God your ok Ames!"

Amie nearly made a joke about it being her, about being hard as nails. To be honest her heart just wasn't in it!

"Ames?" Lexi asked worried. Worried about her sister. She wasn't usually this quiet or withdrawn.

"I'm ok Lex." she said and exhaled. As well as being suspended and heartbroken. What played on her mind was the fact that losing Tom bothered her more then losing the job she loved. She had it bad, and he thought she used him. More depression descended.

"Tell me Ames."

"Lex - stress." Ethan reminded.

Amie looked between them.

"You may as well be the first to know. I'm pregnant again." Lexi grinned then reached to Ethan who handed her the scan picture. She handed it to Amie.

Amie smiled widely. "It's so cute, tiny and cute. Awww!"

Lexi pointed out the head.

"Are you sure I thought that was…..never mind. Congratulations by the way." Amie smiled as she carried on looking at the picture. At the ultimate expression of love between two people. She sneaked a look at Ethan and Lexi. Love burned so brightly between the two of them. Unspoken but there. Obvious. She looked back at the picture. What must it be like to carry the child of the man you love? To bring it up together with love and care. Suddenly Amie wanted that. More then she needed to breathe. She wanted what her mum and Miss had with her dad. What Lex had with Ethan. What Amy had with Daniel. She wanted Tom. She wanted his baby. She wanted a family of her own. The thought of having kids of her own didn't scare her anymore. It obviously depended on who you were with. She and Tom could overcome anything. She could handle anything. She was Amie Trevanion!

"I'm really happy for you." she whispered.

Lexi saw the look in her eyes.

"So." Lexi asked. "Want one of your own?" she wiggled her hips excitedly.

"Maybe." Amie grinned. First she had to make up with Tom!

Lexi whooped. "You'll be a natural. And she'll have a playmate!"

"She?" Amie asked.

"Daddies intuition. Never wrong yet!" Ethan spoke up.

"Lex do me a favour. Get in touch with Tom for me. Ask him to come and see me."

"That eager are we?" Lexi said eyes twinkling.

Amie wiggled her eyebrows.

Lexi laughed and sat on her bed. "I'm happy your ok and grateful for what you did for Zoey. Although I should strangle you!"

"Don't mention Lex. She's my niece and I love her. Her attitude reminds me a little of me at that age."

Lexi frowned. "I never noticed that before." Lexi smiled. "And we love you too. Take care of yourself ok. I'll be back to see you soon."

"Don't worry about me, you need to take it easy for junior there, hopefully I'll be coming to you for advice."

"Ah, you are eager aren't you." Lexi asked.

Amie glanced at the picture. Lexi held. "Surprisingly yeah. Take care of her Ethan!" she said smiling.

He nodded. "Definitely, now I've been formally warned!"

"I'll be around to make sure you do it too!" she told him.

Lexi frowned. "What about your job? Saving the world one person at a time?"

"I wanna spend some time with my family, that's all." Amie lied.

Lexi raised her eyebrows. "Yeah?" she asked dubiously.

"Don't worry about it Lex." Amie said softly.

Lexi stood up and the door opened. Lexi leaned over. "Guess I won't have to do any phoning."

Tom stood there holding flowers.

Lexi walked over to him. "By the way she suffers hay fever." she whispered and winked.

"Really?" he asked. "Damn! I'll just…."

Lexi laughed.

"She's a big fat liar Tom!" Amie told him. "Your just jealous coz I get flowers and you don't!"

"Yeah Ames, but I got something much better, much more permanent!"

Amie made a face. Lexi made one back.

Toma and Ethan stood side by side watching the interplay with amused expressions.

"I was under the impression we were all adults here!" Ethan whispered.

"I was just about to check I hadn't came on the children's ward by mistake." Tom replied.

"Hey Lex, they're dissing us you know!" Amie declared.

"Uh oh busted! This is where I make a swift retreat!" Ethan said. "One Trevanion female on the warpath is scary, 2 well that's too terrifying to contemplate!"

Twin sets of eyes narrowed on him. He smiled a charming grin at Lexi.

"Don't even try it. Just wait till I get you home." Lexi grabbed his arm and pulled him out the room. Ethan looked back as she pulled. Wiggled his eyebrows. "Promises, promises!"

"See you Ames!" Lexi called. The muttered at Ethan comically.

"Have I told you I love your family?" Tom told her as he closed the door.

Amie grinned. "They are pretty good, the best actually."

"Look Amie…" Tom began.

"Tom!" she interrupted. "Shall we just say we didn't mean it and move on?"

"You took the words right out of my mouth!" he told her. "And about the suspension I'll…."

She shook her head. "Don't try and fix it Tom. If I get dishonourably discharged for misconduct then that's what happens. I fight for family I won't deny that!"

He walked over and sat on her bed. "That's what I love about you." Kissed her.

"You know Lexi is pregnant." She told him after a while.

"Is she? Ethan is gonna be insane by the end!" he laughed.

Amie nodded smiling.

Tom saw her face. "What is going through your mind?" he questioned. He had a feeling and liked the thought of it.

"Well….." she began.

**A/N this has been left on a happy-ish ending - dnt expect it to stay like this - and yes chloe the next chappie is the one u been waitin 4 lol (It's rubbish mind) haha x**


	91. Glasgow Unhappiness

_Alice ran to Missy, heard the pounding of footsteps running towards them. Her eyes saw her friend but refused to believe. Her ears heard the whining of machinery but she ignored the oppressive sound. This wasn't happening, Missy wasn't gone. Alice stood by her side, looked down at her still limp form and knew the truth. She put her hand on Missy's still warm cheek, the life had left her body. Nurses surrounded her and Alice was pulled away, she couldn't see anymore. Light burned in front of her eyes. Ringing resounded in her ears. No goodbye seemed to echo around her head. No goodbye - Shauna. She spun blue eyes glittering with anger and unshed tears. Her eyes were down to the floor. A teardrop fell and splattered._

"_Alice?" Shauna whispered brokenly._

_Alice's head whipped up, her eyes fixed on Shauna. "This is your fault!" She said coldly. Stalked towards her. "ALL YOUR FAULT!" Alice grabbed Shauna's shoulders and threw her through the door. Shauna's back hit the wall with a clatter. "She was alone!" Alice yelled. "ALONE! How could you do that to your BEST FRIEND?" Alice had lost it. Was way beyond rational thought._

"_Alice…." Shauna started._

_Alice didn't hear her. Didn't want to. Intent on hurting Shauna the way she was hurting right now. Alice grabbed Shauna's broken arm, turned her quickly then twisted it up her back - hard._

_Shauna yelped in pain._

_A security guard ran at Alice and rugby tackled her. Alice fought blindly. Not understanding what was going on - just reacting to the intense emotional collapse she was feeling._

"_I'll never forgive you for this Shauna!" Alice screamed as she was dragged away. "EVER!"_

(X)

Alice opened her eyes. Looked at a white ceiling. Checked her watch. She'd been asleep for an hour. She was dreaming about it now. It never left her. The sounds and emotions all amplified in dreams. Missy lain there, so lifeless so…..un-Missy like. It had happened yesterday yet that moment never left her, awake or asleep it haunted her. Her throat felt tight, Missy was gone. Gone! This wasn't supposed to happen! The three of them were the three musketeers, by each others side forever. They never left, that wasn't part of the plan! They never discussed that, just the promise of always being there no matter what. Death just didn't come into it! They helped each other, talked to each other, supported each other. Laughed when they were down. Not there weren't three. Now she was single. Solitary. You genuinely don't know what you have until it's…..Alice pushed the blanket off and walked around the room restlessly. Ran her hand through her hair. The stench of the hospital still clung to her. No matter how much she showered antiseptic seemed to cling to her skin!

She walked to the window and looked outside to the Glasgow buildings. They blurred and tears clouded her vision.

"Sleep tight Miss. I hope you find the peace that eluded you here for so long." she whispered. Pressed her fingers to the cold glass.

She swiped at her tears and called Danny.

"Hello." came a husky voice.

"Danny I need you." she choked the lump in her throat almost stopping her breathing.

"I'm at the airport in Glasgow honey. Lex and Eth have the kids so don't worry, I'll be with you soon."

"Ok." she said, her throat thick with tears. She told him her hotel and door number then disconnected.

"I'm on my way." he promised.

30 minutes later he walked into her room. First thing he noticed was the messy bed, evidence of her tossing and turning all night. He found Alice still stood at the window. Dawn was breaking and the colours were painted across the sky. Yellows and gold's.

"It was so quiet before." Alice whispered. "And now it's coming to…..to life." she faltered. "All these people going to work or school have no idea how fragile everything is. No idea!"

Danny heard her breathing audibly. He dropped his bag. "C'mere honey." he murmured.

She still kept her back to him unmoving. "People just die on you don't they! Doesn't matter if they promise not to leave. Promises don't count. You know that death is the only thing that is certain! My mother. I thought I'd lost you! Our unborn child. Mrs Elliott. Missy."

Danny saw her back shaking. Sensed something was building, he wasn't wrong.

"This is complete crap!" she raged and threw her glass across the room. It bounced off the wall then landed.

Danny walked over and pulled her in his arms. She just seemed to collapse. She was draped all over him sobbing.

"She was all alone Danny. All alone!"

"I'm so sorry Alice." he said voice breaking. Hugged her tight. "I know how much she meant to you."

She carried on sobbing in her husbands arms. Unaware he cried a few silent tears too. Didn't know he was saying a silent prayer to her friend. Begging her to take care of Alice through this tough time. Danny being here helped Alice marginally. She still felt sadness so intense it was crushing.

"Is Karl home yet?" he asked and ran his hand through her hair. Still wrapped up in each other tightly.

She shrugged. Her head pounding from tears shed. "I think he can get a flight in 2 days time. If he can get here earlier he will."

He pulled back. Put his hand on her cheek. "Shauna?"

Alice's face turned to enraged and she pulled from his embrace. "I never wanna speak of her again. This is HER fault!"

Her temper exploded again and she punched the door. Began to pace agitatedly.

"Miss was…." thoughts of what her must have gone through by herself brought grief forward. "I gotta get out of here!" she squeaked.

"Alice." Danny started.

"I need to be alone!" she said pulling some shoes on.

"Please let me help you." he asked softly.

"Just leave me alone Danny!" she shouted. Grabbed a file and left her hotel. Danny decided to give her an hour then phone her. She needed time to sort her thoughts. She had only just lost her best friend and no doubt was feeling up in the air. Emotions heightened. "Just take care of yourself darling." he whispered to the closed door.

(X)

Alice walked along the streets of Glasgow. Imagining she was young again and flanked by Missy and Shauna. Laughing at an old joke. Discussing boys, CD's anything at all. The memories were old and faded. The voices sounded muted now, they had once rang clear. She just needed to escape for a while. From everything, the spectre of death. Life. The thought of your own mortality. How once your life is over, that is it. How someone so young and full of vitality can be so cruelly ripped from everyone!

She walked aimlessly, arrived at their old park from years ago. This had been their default place so it was no surprise she ended up here. 'Their' table was empty and she walked to it and sat down. The air fresh and clean and birds tweeted sweetly. The occasional dog walker or cyclist passed.

The sound of the birds reminded her of the time that Missy found a nest of birds above their table and wanted to take them home. 'So cute and fluffy' she said. She and Shauna had tried vainly to warn her not to go up there but Missy couldn't be told, she climbed up the tree and saw the babies were all ugly with no feathers. Her face had been one of pure disgust. Then she screamed like hell as the mother bird swooped down and pecked at her head. When she got down she said she was being attacked by a psychopathic bird and all they could do was roll on the floor laughing. Usually that memory brought gales of laughter now all it reminded her of was that there would be no more times when Missy would do something stupid like that. Just for the hell of it. She rubbed her eyes and dropped her head.

She placed her file down and opened it. Surveyed her last chapter. She been caught up in her memories of happier times with Danny and with her friends and that is what happened. Slight happiness. She exhaled. No happiness would be coming now. She didn't feel happy at all. She dreaded to think what was coming in the coming chapters, she picked up her pen lowered her head and began to write….

_**2 Months Later**_

**A/N sorry this isn't as long as other stuff i've written but i try not to think like this too often, it's just too close to home for me :(  
The next glasgow chapter carries straight on from this but that is a while away...lots to happen.**


	92. Arrival

_**A/N - for some reason I was happy with this, then I really wasn't….it was written way back in the beginning and i looked at it and was like no, nothing can b dun now, I dnt wanna rewrite wot ive got, sorry its took so long to put it up…..and as always hope u enjoy. x**_

_**(X)**_

_**2 Months Later**_

Zoey lay in bed. The nightmare's she'd had in the beginning were less frequent now and with Jeffy's help she was finally beginning to settle. He was so gentle and patient and she really loved him for it. Yeah love, she never thought she'd even think that word after what she'd been through. But Jeffy, he was so perfect. Now all she had to do was figure out a way of telling him she loved him. He'd whispered it to her once or twice and she felt it on the tip of her tongue in return but for some reason she couldn't say it, she exhaled nosily. In her dream he had said it and she hadn't answered so he'd left her. She sometimes worried that would happen, that he'd get sick of waiting for her to be ready to do stuff and just leave her. Maybe that's why she couldn't say it she was holding him at arms length so he couldn't hurt her. Yeah right, the way she felt he could destroy her - and that really frightened her! She had a feeling that he could hurt her far more then William ever could. She was disliking this power he was beginning to have. She didn't want to be powerless ever again! She cut off this train of thought. Just enjoy Jeffy while you have him. He's uncomplicated and he isn't rushing you, just be thankful for that!

She'd woke up lain on her stomach, it had been a while since she had slept through the day. This was evidence of how settled she was. usually she was always on her guard and could only sleep after ten oclock. her old 'bedtime.' Right she wasn't thinking this way anymore! She checked her clock and saw that it was 6 o'clock, glanced at her phone and saw she had a few missed calls off Jeffy. Knowing Jeffy he had probably at the house her dad would have chased him. Her dad's protectiveness was really starting to do her head in. Yeah he was worried about her but Jeffy was lovely, why couldn't he see that?

She felt a pain in her stomach. She rolled over and clutched it. God cramp! Great! Her periods were starting to come back! Now that her life was back to normal her body was deciding to follow suit. She'd had these cramps last night too. She exhaled a heavy breath. God they freaking hurt! She rubbed her back as she walked from her room. Saw her mother in the kitchen doing paperwork at the table.

"Mum you got anything for cramp?"

"Yeah." Lexi got up and walked to a cupboard, pulled out some pills. Zoey smiled as she saw her mum rub the side of her bump.

"She going mad again?" Zoey asked.

Lexi looked at her and smiled. "When does she not? I think I startled her. Now she's dancing the lambada!"

Zoey smiled and took the tablets and glass of juice from her mum. Downed them in one swallow. Then put her head down on her arms waiting for the pills to kick in.

As Lexi was sat scribbling she noticed Zoey's breathing would change every so often. She began to time absently. Every two minutes or so she mused not thinking about it deeply, just a passing thought.

"Pain gone Zoey?" Lexi asked signing forms.

Zoey had her arm wrapped around her stomach grimacing. Her head still down. "No it hurts more." she murmured. "Steadily." she exhaled.

Lexi's head snapped up. "Zoey what does it feel like?" her thought from before came back, to the forefront of her mind.

"Really bad cramp. And back ache. I had it last night too, but it wasn't enough to bother me so I ignored it." Zoey winced. "The pain has started shooting around to my lower back. It's never been this bad before!"

"Oh Damn!" Lexi hissed grabbed Zoey's arm and pulled her up. "C'mon."

Lexi helped Zoey to her feet. "Mum?" Fluid gushed from her. Zoey looked down, realised what was happening and began hyperventilating. "No mum! NO!" she cried. Bent double. "Get rid of it!"

"Zoey it's coming now, you'll have to deliver it!" Lexi told her softly.

Zoey shook her head. "No I don't want to. He got rid it. I don't want it. I hate it!" she suddenly felt the sharpest clenching sensation. "Ow." she hissed and clutched her stomach tighter. Bent double.

"Breath in little pants baby it'll soothe the pain!" Lexi advised. Meanwhile her mind was spinning. The paramedic in her telling her to run through procedures. The mother in her telling her to wrap her baby in her arms and tell her that everything was gonna be ok….even if it was blatant that it wasn't! Nothing was gonna be ok ever again after this!

"Zoey tell me what your feeling," Lexi asked. The paramedic finally winning the internal battle. "Please." when Zoey covered her face.

Zoey's face was coated in sweat and she was grimacing. "Clenching. Sharpness. Like I'm being stabbed in my stomach." she clutched it tighter then before.

Dammit! They didn't have time here! For god's sake keep the men away from the house she prayed. If the two Ethan's heard or witnessed this Lexi didn't know how they'd react. She led Zoey into the bathroom. Sat her with her back against the tub. Grabbed some towels.

"Look Zoey, I'm gonna help you through this, just try and do as I say ok." Lexi told her laying towels on the floor. She went to the sink and scrubbed her hands with scalding water.

Zoey meanwhile was crying the whole time.

After ashing her hands she tried her best to get Zoey comfortable. "I don't have anything strong enough to help with the pain. Sorry baby."

Zoey covered her eyes. The Lexi saw her clench her teeth as pain engulfed her. Lexi pulled her phone out, phoned an ambulance. When she was done she saw Zoey's face changing.

"Right Zoey focus on me!" Lexi looked at her face seriously. Rested her hands on Zoey's knees. She was on her knees too. "When you feel it and when I tell you, push ok!"

"Mum, please….." Zoey pleaded.

"I know honey." she murmured. Trying to keep her paramedic head on. God she was her mother this shouldn't be happening. She was only 15! She reached across and stroked her cheek. Wished she could take away her pain, discomfort. Take away the thing her daughter was giving birth to! Lexi stay focused! She demanded to herself. She breathed with her, showing her exactly how to do it. Lexi had to give Zoey credit, she was trying.

"Right Zoey….now!"

Zoey pushed, her face frowning with exertion. Exhaled a breath as the moment passed. She panted.

"Ok Zoey…..again!" Lexi told her.

Zoey did as she was told.

"That's it Zoey." Lexi encouraged. The crown of a head appearing... Christ this had suddenly became very very real! Her baby was….. LEXI! She told herself angrily. This isn't the time! "Your doing real good Zoey." Lexi squeaked. She needed to get out of here. Just freaking run for the hills and never look back! She felt a flutter in her stomach. O God not now Katy. She thought. "Look Zoey, this is gonna be the hardest bit. The head and shoulders."

"Mum please." Zoey begged panting. "I don't…..I can't….." tears filled her eyes. Lexi felt herself filling up too.

"I can't do anything about it now Zoey. I'm so sorry baby!"

They heard someone walking into the house.

Pain engulfed Zoey and she groaned loudly as she pushed.

"Lex?" Ethan asked. "Zoey?"

Lexi heard his footsteps outside the door. Dived to it and held it shut. Pressed the lock and returned to her daughter. Meanwhile Ethan head begun to pound on the door.

"Later Ethan!" Lexi yelled.

"Let me in!" he boomed.

"Go away Ethan, for God's sake!" Lexi screamed, losing her calm with his enraged ramblings. Then she refocused on her daughter. "Right Zoey that was good. Head's here. After the shoulders the rest is easy."

Ethan froze on the other side of the door. Head? Shoulders? O that bastard. He paced, couldn't contain his rage and punched a wall.

"Ok Zoey that's it. Your doing good, just keep going." Lexi encouraged.

Ethan paced on the other side of the wall. He heard Lexi's voice. "It's here. Little girl Zoey." he heard a slight mewling. Then it turned to wails. Ethan's fists clenched.

"Zoey?" Lexi asked.

"Get IT away from me. It's nothing to do with me!" Zoey spat. Refused to looked at the child that was in her mothers arms. Refusing to believe that it was any part of her.

Lexi nodded as she wrapped the baby in a towel opened the door and thrust her at Ethan.

"Get in touch with Miss. Ask her to get everything a baby needs. Baby milk, nappies, bottles…."

Ethan stared at the bundle in his arms. Saw his little girl in her face. His little girl! He looked at the baby's face. Yeah little Zoey was there…except for her eyes. They were a pale blue. Her fath…..Ethan couldn't think of that man in that way! He felt a whole array of emotions. Sickness. Sadness. Sympathy and red hot anger! He felt a cold draught blow into the house and took the baby out of the hallway. He lay her on some cushions in the living room. Went to turn the heating up. He then sat at the opposite end of the sofa to the baby and rang Missy. She was perplexed when she heard his asks but agreed. He then put the phone down and looked at the floor. At the walls anywhwere but at... a tiny squeak pulled his attention and he looked at his granddaughter, Christ! He had a grandchild! His little girl was a mother, still only a baby herself. He rubbed his face. The baby started whimpering again. He shuffled across and picked her up bounced her slightly like he used to Zoey when she was a baby. She seemed to like it and quieted. Stared up at him with solemn blue eyes. It was like she knew how they all felt about her, and couldn't defend herself so she just looked with these big blue sad eyes. "We know it isn't your fault ok." he whispered to her.

He heard footsteps come into the house, heard Lexi talking softly then a door close.

"I guess your hungry huh?" he murmured. "Don't worry Auntie Missy will be here soon with the milk. Personally I think it's nasty stuff but babies seem to like it so…." he carried her in the kitchen and boiled the kettle.

He saw Zoey walk from the bathroom. She looked a mess, and he was being kind there. She looked pale, drawn, traumatised really.

Zoey looked at him, she was about to run to him when she him holding the baby. She froze, shot the baby a venomous look ."Keep IT away from me!" she hissed coldly. Then walked to her room and slammed the door, with so much force that he felt the vibrations down the hall.

"Sir we need to look the baby over." the paramedic said, ignoring Zoey's cold statement.

Ethan carried the baby to him and handed her over. "Take her in the living room, it's warmer." Ethan asked.

The paramedic nodded and carried the baby tenderly.

**A/N like i say this was planned from the beginning but for some reason it didn't feel right anymore...i dunno im jst weird. leave me your thoughts x**


	93. Away!

Ethan looked up and saw Lexi who was leaning against a wall, she was pale and had a hand over her stomach. She looked ill. He walked over. Put his arm around her until she leaned against him. "Lex, talk to me." he whispered pressed a kiss to her temple.

"I just delivered out grandchild Ethan." she squeaked. "I had no idea she was even….I mean she had put on weight but she had lost some when she was gone too. I just thought…..I didn't…." she put her hand over her eyes.

Ethan pulled her into a tighter embrace. She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her head in his shoulder. "Take some deep breaths honey. We don't want you hyperventilating."

Lexi inhaled and exhaled shakily. He rubbed her arms as he pulled away. "How are you now?" he asked.

She nodded.

"And…." he pointed to her bump.

"If there's anything wrong you'll be the first to know." she assured.

He caressed her cheek. This was the most he'd ever touched her since they conceived the baby. He knew that when things troubled Lexi she needed physical comfort.

"What we gonna do Eth?" she asked troubled.

"I have no idea." he admitted.

"Zoey said she's, actually she said it is nothing to do with her. Said to get rid of it!"

Ethan closed his eyes.

"So Ethan what do we do?" Lexi repeated.

Ethan shrugged. "It's her baby. She needs to decide."

Lexi nodded.

"She looks a little like Zoey did as a baby." he mused.

"Really?" Lexi asked pained. She didn't know why but that thought made her sick! Probably because deep inside she didn't want this baby to be in any way part of Zoey.

"Except for her blue eyes. I'm trying to convince myself she got them from your mum." he shook his head. "They are too pale though. And we know she didn't get them from Zoey so….." he trailed off and clenched his fists.

Lexi put a hand to her mouth and thought she was gonna be sick.

"Deep breaths honey." Ethan told her, cursing his loose tongue. He was gonna have to be careful what he said around Lexi. She didn't need the stress.

The paramedic approached carrying the baby. "Both mother and child are fine. Lexi we advise you to take the baby over to local GP to be registered et cetera. Apart from that she's fine." the paramedic smiled at the baby. Lexi held back a grimace as Ethan took the child. She led the paramedics out. Approached the kitchen and watched Ethan trying to soothe the baby, soon she was silent once again.

"You always were good with babies." she remarked sitting down.

He was rubbing the baby's back as she rested on his shoulder. "It's just teenagers I'm rubbish with." he replied.

EJ walked into the house into the kitchen and over to the fridge, saw his dad holding a baby. "Whose that? who's is it?" he grabbed a can of pop.

Ethan looked at Lexi who stared back.

"Well?" EJ asked. Opening his can. He walked over and looked at the baby's face. Frowned when he recognised someone. He froze. "No way!" he hissed. "She didn't!"

"EJ." Lexi started.

"She had a kid with the guy? Oh my God that's sick! Is she out of her head?" EJ's face was one of pure disgust.

"EJ!" Ethan warned, more sharply then Lexi before.

"And look at you!" he fumed at his dad. "Cooing over it like a doting granddad. Christ!" he declared.

"Calm down son." Lexi said standing up.

"God look at it's eyes. Am I the only one who feels sick at the sight of it?" he asked grimacing.

"No EJ your not." Zoey said calmly coming from behind him. She looked at her father, looked at him straight in the eye. "I want IT out of my home!"

"Zoey this isn't her fault!" Ethan said softly.

"So it's a girl?" EJ muttered, "I vote we juts get rid!" he said loudly.

"I second." Zoey agreed.

"She's an innocent child!" Ethan told them.

"What HE did to make her wasn't innocent. I lost my innocence thanks to him and I don't want a reminder every day. Get rid, I don't care how or even where just do it!" she crossed her arms stubbornly.

"Zoey give yourself to calm down. It's been a big day for you, your hormones are all over." Ethan said softly.

Zoey couldn't believe what her dad was saying. "God dad you wanna keep it? It's a monster!" Zoey gasped.

"Zoey she's your daughter." he told her gently.

Zoey shook her head forcefully. "She's no part of me! Kids are a product of love. We are a product of love. She's no product of love, and I know that I can't love her!" she fumed. Beginning to lose her temper her fists clenched tightly. "What he did to me to make her had nothing to do with love!"

"What about your mum? Your nana though she was….." Ethan trailed off as he realised that the kids didn't know.

EJ and Zoey looked their mother in shock.

"I'm getting out of here!" EJ squeaked. "I'm going over to granddads, this is heading into stuff I SO don't wanna know!" he quickly left the kitchen.

Zoey meanwhile was staring at her mother, "You? Your like…..it?"

"Way to go Ethan!" Lexi spat. "No I'm not." she exhaled. "But nana thought I was."

Zoey looked thoughtful for a second, then shrugged. "I don't care! The sight of it is making me ill! Either it goes or I do!"

"Zoey we'd have to keep her here for a few days until we get stuff sorted." Lexi negotiated.

"Fine I'll live at granddad's till it's gone." she said simply.

"Lexi, she can't go into care!" Ethan yelped. "You know what happened to me!"

Zoey now stared at her dad. "You were in care?"

"No I wasn't." he backtracked.

"Give it up Ethan. She isn't stupid!" Lexi said crossing her arms.

"O all the dirty family secrets are being revealed now!" Zoey muttered angrily.

"Zoey!" Ethan said softly.

"It or me!" she repeated.

"I'll take the baby over to your dads." he said to Lexi.

Zoey shook her head at her dad. "I can't believe your happy about her!" Zoey spat in disgust. "Happy that she's here!"

"Happy?" Ethan breathed. "You think I'm happy about all of this? I'm enraged about what HE did to you. And when he's found I swear I'll do time for him but Zoey get this, it was HIM who did this to you Zoey HIM not the baby! She's a victim in this same as you. She didn't ask to be here but she is!"

"SHE'S a victim? Really dad? Really? Well YOU get this." she focused her eyes on her dad's face. "Let's see, did he beat her up? Um no. Did he rape her? No. Did he have HER as his personal slave, seeing to his every little whim? No." she was slowly losing her calm and her voice rose an octave. "Did he control every aspect of her life so she couldn't even go to bathroom until he said so?" Zoey's teeth were clenched, she couldn't contain the anger inside any longer, she was suddenly yelling. "NO SHE DIDN'T! SO DON'T COMPARE HER TO ME OK! DON'T TRY TO TELL ME SHE'S THE VICTIM IN THIS!" Zoey's chest was heaving and her face was red and full of rage.

Missy walked in carrying a few bags. Saw the 3 people stood there. Lexi looked worried, Zoey looked angry and Ethan…Ethan was holding a bundle. Missy frowned. "Huh? Lex your only….."

Lexi turned and shook her head.

Missy looked at Ethan then Zoey and realised. Held back a wince.

"Yeah Miss I'm a mum!" she spat. "To a bouncing baby girl with her father's eyes!" she stormed down to her bedroom and slammed the door - again.

Missy's eyes were wide. "Whoa." she whispered. Walked towards them and put the bags on the table.

"If I had suspected I would have….." Lexi started softly. Her voice shook.

"You may not have been able to anything Lex. She's been home what? 4 months, that made her 5 months, 20 weeks give or take. Possibly more."

Ethan handed the baby to Lexi while he washed a bottle that Missy had brought. Then he mixed up the milk and cooled it.

Lexi couldn't look at the baby. She was looking up at the ceiling.

Missy had noticed her reaction. She was about to ask if she wanted her to take the baby when Ethan came back over with the cooled bottle.

"You wanna come outside Lex?" Missy asked. In other words crack up alone.

Lexi nodded not trusting her voice. She thrust the baby at Ethan, grabbed Missy's arm and walked from the house. She didn't make it to the veranda before tears were falling. Missy wrapped her arms around her.

"Miss Zoey is still a child." she whispered. "After everything she has been through, now this!"

"Cry it out Lex." Missy soothed.

Lexi did, crying silent wet tears into Missy's shoulder. After a while. "Miss, we're all divided." she exhaled. Ethan he's…." she rubbed her face stressed. "The kids, and me think that the best thing to do is to get rid of it…her. Ethan isn't having it, he won't allow her to go into care."

Missy nodded understandingly. "He had a tough time in care."

"But she's a baby she'd get adopt….. God Miss I'm so sorry!"

Missy frowned. Then realised - Amy. She hadn't made the connection. "It's fine Lex." She pulled back and looked at Lexi's face. "Can't be easy for you either, your pregnant."

Lexi rubbed her face. "Miss you don't have to listen to this."

"Look Lexi, I meant it when I said it was fine. Those circumstances and mine are completely different."

Lexi exhaled. "I wish mum was here. I could ask her how she felt about me."

"I know." Miss offered.

"Do you?" Lexi asked hopefully.

Missy nodded. "You sure you wanna know?"

Lexi nodded.

"She hated you."

Lexi looked taken aback.

"O yeah." she led Lexi to a chair and they sat down. "Let me give you some back story." she explained about Alice's dad, skipping over the worst bits of him beating her up. "Lex she was a mess when she came home. Not herself. She told no one what happened. Not even me or Shauna, which is how we knew it was something major, I mean for her NOT to tell us! We all assumed that your dad beat her up and she ran up here to escape him. Me and Shauna were ready to go down and deal with him! On the day before we were gonna go down and hurt him your mum found out about you. She was 6 months gone by then Lex. Or something like that I don't remember exactly. She begged for an abortion literally begged. They refused, she was too far gone and had no medical reason. You know what she did after that Lex? She tried to pay me to beat her up. Just a couple of well placed punches Miss." she told me. Missy shook her head. "She was willing to do anything Lex, and I mean anything. You know I was tempted. Not coz of the money, I wouldn't have took it! It was the look on her face she'd never looked at me in that way before and it killed me you know. I sorta hated you then too for doing that to her! Anyway I couldn't. We argued and told me that all she wanted was the same as what I did with Andy!"

Lexi winced.

"Yeah, it went down well. She was only trying to make me lose my temper. It worked, I broke my hand on the wall by her head. It was the wall or her. She thought I was gonna hit her and didn't move. She didn't like it when I hit the wall. She said something along the lines of, 'God Miss all you had to do was aim down!' I walked away before she could push me any further. After that I went off travelling, I just couldn't escape it. Anyway your mum she hated you and I left so figured she'd get someone to do it for her. Shauna kept me posted. It all changed when she was 8 months gone. She didn't feel you move. She and Shauna went up to the maternity unit in Glasgow. See you were an active baby. Anyway she was hooked up to all these machines and you moved again. Your mum burst into tears. Nearly losing you made her realise how much you actually meant to her."

Lexi nodded,

"But Lex you know there was the chance you were your fathers daughter. Not his. Zoey doesn't have that."

"Did you talk to mum after I was born?"

"Once. I rang her once." she whispered. Didn't like the conversation they had. It almost destroyed their friendship.

"Miss?" She had went quiet and withdrawn.

Missy exhaled. "Your mum apologised for what she said to me. I was a mess and couldn't understand when your mum told me she was keeping you." Actually Missy had went akka down the phone! "I mean here you were possibly the result of…..you know and she was keeping you! I couldn't get my head around it! I was in Australia at this point missing them both like crazy, contemplating coming home." Until she and Alice had this massive argument on the phone. "Your mum told me that you were the best present your dad ever gave her. I asked her what if he didn't give you to her. She replied immediately that IF that was the case then you were only hers. He contributed nothing. And if had any bad feelings towards you then I should just stay away!"

Lexi's eyebrows were raised.

"You thoroughly charmed when I visited." Missy smiled remembering baby Lexi. "She was a natural with you." Missy whispered. Lost in the past.

"Wow, mum was strong huh?" Lexi murmured.

"Stronger then you'll ever know Lex. She rationalised it….. you in her head. Made it possible for herself to keep you and raise you. Somehow found a way to love you." Missy's eyes were sad.

"Could you have kept yours….you know if you'd been older?" Lexi asked.

Missy frowned thinking hard. "You know I've asked myself that question a million times over the years and sometimes I delude myself into thinking I could do it but I honestly don't think I could have. See it would have represented powerlessness to me. Control. It's hard being reminded of the worst time in your life over and over again. It makes you crack up Lex. See in a lot of ways you were a reminder of Danny and her first love to your mum. The child I conceived held no such memories for me and Zoey's won't either. To Zoey all that child will be is a reminder of her kidnapping." Missy couldn't talk about this much longer. It was starting to niggle at her. She knew when she felt like this to stop, she couldn't handle it.

"What about Amy Miss?"

Missy exhaled. "Another hard one. Another completely different set of circumstances."

"Do you…if you could go back and keep her, would you?"

"Yeah, without a doubt. I would keep her in an instant. She was pushed from pillar to post. Unwanted wherever she went. I regret giving her up every day!"

"Miss would you talk to Zoey for me? I have no experience with this and Ethan is too close to think objectively."

"I will Lex but only if she wants to. You can't force me on her. I had this sort of thing forced on me after Andy and I didn't want it. It made me resentful, people thinking they understand when they don't. I can't say I understand what she went through when I don't I wasn't kidnapped."

Lexi nodded. "You understand more than I do though." she whispered sadly. "I keep trying and she keeps pushing me away."

"Trust your daughter Lex, she's strong, a survivor. She wouldn't have survived with him a year with her sanity intact if she wasn't." Missy reassured.

"I'm just so tired." Lexi said wearily. "I want to go back 18 months ago and erase everything." her eyes filled.

Missy pulled her close again. "It'll get better. Your all still adjusting and all you seem to keep getting is shock after shock. It'll calm down soon. Trust Auntie Miss, I'm never wrong."

"Miss, you haven't been Auntie Miss in years."

"Hey just coz your in your thirties doesn't mean I'm not your auntie anymore! Your always my wee Lexi."

Lexi exhaled and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"How do you feel about the baby Lex, you told me how Zoey feels, and Ethan but not you." Missy enquired softly.

"It's…..she's a baby Miss. Like Ethan says she's done nothing wrong. But neither has Zoey. I'm torn. See my belief is when you have a child your loyalty, your protection goes to that child above all others. Husband siblings everyone they are first and foremost. But that changes when your child has a child, your still loyal and protective of your child but the baby has to come first, you don't love your child any less but the baby can't protect itself like an adult can you know? But see Zoey isn't an adult yet and the baby is here and causing her so much pain and anguish so I'm in protect mode, but she's a baby! It keeps going in circles Miss!"

Missy knew why Lexi was going in circles. Grabbed her hand. "Lex you can't decide this for her. This is something only Zoey can decide. Whatever the outcome is going to impact the rest of her life, whether she keeps her or not. All I can advise her to do is to not to react, to think but after that…there's nothing else WE can do except support her whatever she decides."

"Being a parent is hard!" Lexi breathed and rubbed her stomach.

Missy nodded. "It is."

Lexi looked at her. "But they're worth every second."

"Yeah." Missy agreed. "You all are!"

**A/N more to cum, i know this is like really long and the next chapter is just as long...lots happening :D x**


	94. Resurfaced Fears

Missy and Lexi walked into the kitchen. Saw Ethan filling a dish with water.

"Just giving her a wash." he said. "She needs some soap. Miss forgot it." he murmured to Lexi. "And some smaller clothes." he added. Walked away with the water.

Missy patted Lexi's arm. "I'm off home ok. I'll tell your dad to expect a call."

"Will you tell him Miss?" Lexi asked.

"Will do. Knowing your dad he'll wanna come straight over but I'll ask him to wait til tomorrow. If he resists I have ways to keep him….restrained" she wiggled her eyebrows.

Lexi raised her eyebrows. "How old are you?" she drawled.

Missy shrugged.

"Text me if she wants to talk, or if you need anything as well ok." she whispered and pressed a kiss to Lexi's cheek.

"Thanks Miss."

"Eat something then sleep Lex, your still in shock, things will be clearer in the morning."

Lexi walked over to the fridge as Missy walked towards the front door. As she passed she slipped into the living room to talk to Ethan. Made sure Lexi didn't notice. He had a soft cloth in the water and was squeezing out the excess. Missy sat beside him, he was on his knees beside the baby who was lain on a towel.

Missy studied the baby. "She looks a little like you Eth. Zoey always has looked like you. Good looking girl. Both the kids are. They got you, with a touch of their mother."

He exhaled. "How's Lex. I worry about her."

"Torn. Pulling herself to bits. She wants to protect Zoey but the thing causing her pain is an innocent baby. She's pregnant too so that can't be helping. Talk to her Ethan. She needs you."

Ethan nodded. "I know, I over reacted before. I'm gonna try."

Missy smiled. "You're a good boy."

"I haven't been a boy in a long time Miss." he said running the damp cloth down the baby's arms.

"You know what I meant. Plus I still remember you all being tiny. Your all still babies to me." she looked at the baby. "The baby has you in her corner, she has a fighting chance."

"Boxing jokes Miss?" he asked raising his eyebrows.

"No joke Ethan. If anyone can keep her here you can. Don't push your little girl though, if she can't do it then she can't. No one will ever fully understand what she went through!"

He exhaled and nodded.

She ruffled his hair and she stood up. He shook his head.

"You're a pain in the a….." he glanced at the baby, "Neck!" he substituted.

She grinned at him. Her phone began to ring. "O I love this song!" she said and began to dance around the room. Mouthing the words. It rang off.

"The object of a phone is to pick it up when someone rings you, you have Ipod's for music."

She made a face as he continued to gently wash the baby the baby. He dropped the cloth in the water. She watched his slow soft movements.

"You'll find a way Ethan." dropped a kiss to the to of his head.

"God Miss I'm thirty odd years old!" he breathed.

"I thought you were thirty even."

He frowned.

"Thirty eight."

He groaned and shook his head.

Her phone began to ring again. "Ok this is your dad I better pick it up before he sends out a search party, he will he's done it before! I'll see you later son."

"Bye Miss. Take care."

(X)

Lexi walked into the living room, saw Ethan had the baby laid out on a towel as he gently wiped her tiny body with a cloth. He was finishing up.

He looked back. "She doesn't mind being washed. I remember the first time we washed Zoey. She screamed the whole time."

"She did." Lexi agreed.

"She's so tiny compared to Zoey. Zoey was over 8lbs born." Ethan murmured.

Lexi stared at the baby like it was gonna sprout two heads.

"She's 5 lbs" he started. "A bit low but we'll fix that soon enough won't we little bit."

"Ethan." Lexi said gently.

Ethan exhaled. "I'm trying to give her a chance ok! Do I wish she didn't exist? Actually yes I do. Am I gonna kill him for what he's done and inflicting her on my baby girl? First chance I get!" he said seriously meaning every word. He was gonna find this guy and he was gonna kill him! "But Lex she's here we can't change that! God look at her. Look! She can't lift her head. Can't lift her arms. She hasn't hurt anyone. She's part of Zoey!" he rubbed his face. "I know she's hurting Zoey and it's doing my head in but your helping Zoey. She needs someone for her!"

Lexi stared at Ethan. The man she feel in love with all those years ago was shining through. She felt her heart begin to beat erratically.

"You know how I feel about care and kids dying. After my sister and out first child, I just can't Lex."

"She is Zoey's child Ethan. It has to be her choice!"

"She'll make the wrong one!" he said stubbornly.

God his stubbornness was one of the things she fell for too! "Or the right one for her." Lexi countered.

"She isn't a little doll who can be put away." he said drying the baby gently.

"This isn't a normal situation Ethan. This baby wasn't planned. Zoey didn't have a choice!"

"What about the baby? She didn't have a choice either!" Ethan retorted. "She deserves to be with family!"

"You aren't considering our daughters feelings! If you think for one second about what she is going through maybe you'll understand!"

"And then this little girl will be alone. Like I was. It's a hard cold world when you have no one behind you Lex! She needs me!"

"Our daughter needs you too!"

"I'm always here for Zoey." he retorted.

"Actually it looks like your just here for the baby!"

"She needs me!" he repeated.

"So does our daughter!" she hissed.

He raised his hands in the air, evidence of his frustration. Their argument going round in circles. "Look Lex, I am considering her. I really am. In the future when she's worked through all the stuff with the kidnapping she'll want to know her. It will happen eventually, she'll wonder. Maybe not now, or even in a few months time. I might take years but she will regret it eventually. I know what that's like Lex. I sometimes wonder if I had stayed would you have miscarried. I don't want that for her!"

"Maybe she won't Ethan. Can we really expect her to love her I mean God he had her a year. We still don't know how she got out. Anything. She refuses to tell us what happening in there. She wants to forget. She can't forget if she has a constant reminder!"

"Maybe trying to forget isn't enough Lex." he said seriously, dressing the baby and lay her on the sofa. Draped a blanket over her softly. Tucked her in. Lexi watched and felt her heart shift. Until his next words.

"Maybe she needs to work through it repressing it isn't healthy."

"Think like her father instead of her therapist Ethan!" she hissed.

"I am thinking like her dad. But I can't change that I'm a trained therapist either. As her trained therapist father I am saying repression isn't healthy!"

"She is 15 years old Ethan. A baby!"

"Yeah Lex, our baby. Forgetting won't help her. And there is a baby right here who needs her and us! She can't just forget her. Like it or not the baby is here. She exists!"

"Are you two quite finished?" Zoey asked angrily. "Or do you wanna carry on discussing me?"

"Zoey." they both said.

She crossed her arms and strolled into the living room. Stopped in front of her dad. "Do I get a choice in what your saying?"

"How long were you there?" Lexi asked.

Zoey turned and looked at her mum. "Long enough to hear every word you both said. All I hear is you both taking opposite sides!" she seethed.

"This is your choice Zoey, you know it is." Lexi told her quickly.

"But your disagreeing on what I should pick." she paced from side to side. "Arguing again. Do you see a pattern emerging here? You stress me out and what happens? Someone gets hurt - usually me!"

Lexi and Ethan stayed quiet, both knowing that history was repeating itself.

"He was right you know. William. He said it was your fault I ended up with him. And he was right! All you two is argue. Can't you discuss things like reasonable adults? No you just yell at each other! Would you have noticed if I ran off again? If EJ did? Probably not!"

"What sort of crap did he feed you Zoey?" Ethan asked getting angry.

"O he told me all sorts. Like how after 2 months the search for me was called off. How I was stuck with him forever coz no one cared to look for me anymore. How you and mum had been on the news saying how much you wanted me back, not coz you loved me but because mum was pregnant again and wanted me to meet my baby sister. He said that way you spoke it was almost like you were replacing me how Zoey was gonna be her middle name and that I would be there in her! Do you realise how that almost destroyed me?"

"And you believed him?" Lexi asked tears in her eyes.

"Who was there to tell me different? I didn't wanna believe him but you weren't there and he was, and he was very convincing! He acted like my protector. He saved me from Swift the druggie. He saved me from being killed by his boss. He saved me from my neglectful parents!"

Ethan saw Lexi's face crumple. She covered her eyes with her hands. He lifted the baby up and handed her to Lexi.

"Take her and go to your dad's." he caressed her cheek. "Me and Zoey will be over soon." he promised.

"I wanna go with mum!" Zoey declared nervously.

"No! You and me are having this our right now!"

"I'll drop her off then come back." Lexi told him. He knew she needed time to compose herself.

He nodded and touched her cheek gently.

"Mum." she whispered.

"Zoey you don't have a choice. You stay here with me." he said calmly.

Ethan didn't realise the words he just spoke. Zoey froze.

"I'll be back soon Zoey. Once we have this out everything will be better."

Zoey wasn't listening. Her dad's words were running in circles in her head. They sounded eerily similar to other words she heard before - from William.

Soon Lexi and the baby had left.

Zoey hadn't moved.

"Zoey." Ethan began.

"Can I please go to my room?" she asked. She hadn't asked for permission in 2 months.

"Zoey sit!" he told her sternly.

She wrapped her arms around herself. Walked over and sat down obediently.

"Zoey you need to….." Ethan stopped suddenly when he saw her eyes close and tears falling down her face slowly.

"Zoey baby?" he asked softly.

"I'm sorry." she said quickly.

"Your sorry?" he asked confused. "What's the matter?"

She shook her head.

He knelt down in front of her. "You can tell me." he soothed. His anger gone.

"I'm…..scared." she whispered.

"You scared?" he asked in disbelief. "Of me? Why?" The it hit him. He stood up and backed off. "God Zoey I'm your father! You think I wanted you alone so I could….." he covered his mouth with his hand almost physically sick.

Zoey stood up and put her hands up. "No no no, not that dad. You would never…" she said seriously. She exhaled. "It was just the way you spoke to me. He spoke to me like that and if I didn't do as I was told….." she exhaled. "He beat me up, I had to do as I was told. I'm not saying you would hit me. You never would it was just….hard hearing that coming from you. It scared me coz you sounded like him."

Ethan covered his eyes with his hand. Disgusted at himself. He had turned into his father! His baby was scared of him. Something he swore would never happen! "I'm so sorry." he whispered.

She sat back down.

"What were you gonna say dad?" she asked.

"Nothing." he didn't wanna say it. He wanted to leave her alone so she wasn't afraid!

"Tell me dad."

"I just wanted to tell you not to blame your mum. She doesn't need it right now. I was gonna tell you that you need to take some responsibility too. See we were arguing but you ran away I admit we weren't paying attention and you got away but we didn't want you with Swift. That is how the argument started." he said calmly. Sat on the chair.

"See that is the problem dad. You tried to TELL me that. I'm too much like you to listen to that!"

"I know Zoey, I didn't know what else to do. You're my little girl and he was 17. It was my job to protect you from him!"

"And now your trying to protect the baby?" she asked softly.

He nodded.

"Look dad the father is evil! Hoe do I know she won't be the same?"

Ethan noticed she wasn't referring to the baby as 'it' anymore. She made progress, very slight progress but progress none the less.

"Who a child's father is doesn't determine the child." he told her.

"How do you know that? How do I know she won't be psychopath like he is!"

"Coz she is part of you too, your not like that."

"I wasn't! I used to be normal. And no I'm not saying that I'd go out and kidnap or murder someone but I DO have issues dad, that are no where near resolved." She exhaled. "And we don't know for sure that she's like him and I can't take that chance!"

Ethan was silent for a moment. Choosing his next words carefully. "Zoey, we've never mentioned your grandfather. My dad. We never told you how I met your mum."

Zoey frowned. She hadn't realised. "I just assumed you met at school. Then when she moved here you met up again or something."

Ethan shook his head. "Danny and Alice adopted me when I was 13."

Zoey was still frowning. "So you were in care?"

He nodded.

"What happened to your mum and dad?"

"My mum died when I was 12."

"Whoa, I knew she died but I didn't know you were so young, did your dad die too?"

He shook his head.

"So why didn't you go to him…awwww dad did he not want you? "

"Not quite Zoey, he was in prison….for murder."

Zoey's eyes widened. "No way!" she whispered.

"Way!" he replied dryly exhaled loudly.

"So you were alone in care? That must have been tough for you. At least nana and granddad adopted you and you met mum huh?"

"Zoey, you haven't asked who he killed." he said calmly.

"Does it matter?" her stomach dropped when she saw the look on her dad's face. His eyes especially. "He killed your…" she was suddenly speechless. "God." she breathed put a hand over her mouth.

Ethan exhaled a shaky breath. Could still vividly remember the image of his mother and his dad. His mothers body limp and lifeless. His fathers fists smeared with blood. He shook his head trying to dislodge the memory.

She saw her dad's eyes go cloudy. Saw his face changing. "There's something your not telling me dad."

Her voice pulled him back from the memories.

"I saw it. He did it in front of me. Beat her to death. Why? She tried to stop him from hitting me!" he said robotically, no feeling at all. He looked across the room.

"Oh dad." she whispered.

They sat in silence, Ethan chasing away memories. It had been along time since he thought about that time and they refused to leave. "Zoey, who a dad is doesn't dictate who a kid is inside. It's only genetic material. Being a parent dictates who a child becomes."

She nodded. "A part of you still blames yourself huh dad?" she noticed the look hadn't left his eyes.

His head spun and he was looking at her shocked. "How…."

"I'm right aren't I?" she whispered.

He shrugged. "I'm not your problem."

"Tell me how you feel and I'll do the same." she negotiated.

"Promise?"

"Promise." she said sincerely.

Ethan exhaled. "My mum only married my dad coz she was pregnant with me. They wanted me born legitimate. My dad was an old fashioned person in that respect. Mum done everything with me and the house. He worked. No child of his was gonna be born a bastard." he shook his head. "That had went out years before I was born but….." he shrugged. "I used to think that if I'd never been born she'd still be alive. Or maybe if I'd been bigger, or older or stronger or if I'd just been able to stand up to him she'd still be here. I couldn't protect her from him and she died in such a…" he trailed off and rubbed his face.

"Dad?"

"Just give me a minute." he croaked hiding his face. This was stuff he hadn't told anyone. Not Danny or his therapist. Not even Lexi. Speaking it out loud was harder then he thought!

She nodded, thought about a line he said, about protecting his mother. He couldn't protect her. He couldn't protect his mother, but he could protect the baby. She knew there was more he wasn't telling her but she wasn't gonna push it. She hadn't expected him to agree. Usually parents wouldn't. Then she realised, he was a freaking therapist. They are kinda big on talking. It's their thing. When she was sure he was fine she told him the thought on her mind.

"What's bothering you most about all this is that you couldn't protect me huh dad? And now your compensating with the baby." she stated.

Ethan stared at his daughter. "Am I the therapist here or you?"

"I was bound to be like you. You're my father!" she stressed the hidden meaning. He had unknowably punctuated her point.

"You and EJ are the best parts of me." he countered.

"What would a child be if the father had no good features?"

"My father had no good features. Am I my fathers son? I am who I am because of my mother. Danny taught me how to be a man, to be a good dad."

Zoey looked torn.

"Look Zoey I'm not gonna tell you, you have to keep her. I know that whatever you decided will be what's best for you. I just want to tell you that I'm behind you, no matter what decision you make. All I want is what's best for you, you always come first baby."

She stood up, hesitated. Then walked over and hugged her dad. The first one she had gave him since she was back. He folded his arms around her and held on tightly.

"I love you daddy." she whispered. "I'm sorry."

"I love you too Zoey. Always."

At that moment Lexi walked in. A worried look on her face. She was shocked when she saw Zoey and Ethan hugging. She had expected to hear them yelling and shouting. Especially the way they had been when she left, but no they were hugging! "Um….." she started.

Zoey pulled away from her dad. "Mum I'm sorry, I love you." she said immediately.

"Oh Zoey, you have nothing to be sorry for." Lexi assured.

Zoey walked over and hugged her.

**A/N feels sorry for poor zoey, and ethan too they r bth aving a tough tym atm, still mre to come x**


	95. Problems and Tears

After the hug they all sat down in silence, considering their next moves.

"I quite like Abbie." Zoey finally said.

Ethan and Lexi looked at her.

"You know it…she needs a name. Abbie is nice."

Ethan raised an eyebrow and smiled. "Abbie Bell." he mused

"Can we just…..can I like try first?" Zoey asked softly.

"She's your child Zoey." Lexi told her.

"And you won't judge me if I can't hack it?"

"No. At least you tried. It's more than others would do." Ethan murmured. Relief filling him.

"How is she? How has she been?" Zoey still wasn't that interested but she supposed she had to know these things. She was just hoping it would come to her eventually. She didn't want to let anyone down.

"Well she sleeps a lot. But that's normal for newborns. And she had a good go at her bottle." her dad told her.

Zoey inhaled. "If I start cracking up will you be there for me?" she whispered.

"No doubt." Ethan assured.

"What if he finds out about her and wants access?" Zoey's face twisted.

"He won't get within a million miles of both of you. I swear it Zoey!"

She looked at nodded. Her face solemn. She then inhaled. "Lets go get then." Zoey suggested. Shoved her hands in her pockets so her parents didn't see them shaking.

(X)

EJ was sat in the living room at Leopards Den seething. Anger was just building and building. His whole family was falling apart coz of some psycho and he couldn't do anything about it. It didn't help that Ryan was on the phone across the room to….guess who - Yeah Leila!

"Yeah ok, love you too." Ryan murmured softly. "See you tomorrow."

EJ's fists clenched.

Ryan laughed softly then disconnected. Looked up at EJ saw his face shook his head. He thought they were passed this! "You got a problem mate?"

"Mate?" EJ spat. "You said all that stuff deliberately. Mates don't do that!"

"No I didn't actually. We just made up! EJ I really like her, I'm sorry but I do!"

"She was doing fine with me until you came long!" he seethed.

"She wanted to be your friend Eth." Ryan said calmly. "Not all girls wanna be your girlfriend. There are platonic relationships too you, I have plenty of them!"

"Going behind my back like that, you knew how much I liked her!" EJ fumed.

"Actually I didn't coz you didn't tell me. I'm not a mind reader. She came and started talking to me, I didn't mean to feel something Eth. If you'd told me how you felt I would have backed off!"

EJ felt all his frustrations begin boiling over and unfortunately Ryan was in the firing line. He was spoiling for a fight and knew exactly how to provoke Ryan into having one. "I bet, just like your mother!" he hissed.

Ryan's face changed and his eyes darkened.

"Do you remember what happened the last time you mentioned my mum?" Ryan asked coldly.

"Truth hurt?" EJ asked. "Like mother like son huh? Husband stealing psycho..." he muttered.

Ryan hit the end of his tether. "You never mention my mother in that manner!" Ryan roared. Dived across the room to EJ and pulled him from the settee onto the floor. Punched him in the face and his nose exploded blood splattering everywhere. Ryan was above him.

"You take it back now!" he yelled and hit him again in the face.

EJ lay on the floor his head spinning from the force of Ryan's blows. Meanwhile Ryan was above him, hit him once more before his dad walked in.

"Ryan!" he declared when he saw EJ's bloody face. "What are you doing?" Grasped his shoulders and pulled him off.

"You say one more word about my mum and I swear I'll have you and next time no one will stop me ok!" Ryan shouted struggling against his dad's hold.

Danny hauled Ryan towards his room and pushed him inside. "Don't move!" he warned sharply. "I'll be seeing you soon!"

"EJ you ok son?" Danny asked approaching him. He still lay on the floor holding his face in two hands.

"I think he broke my face!" he groaned.

"What happened?" Danny asked extending a hand.

"Nothing." EJ replied too quickly as his granddad helped him up.

"Is this about his girlfriend? Like a few months ago?"

EJ nodded, it wasn't only that but it sounded like a good excuse.

"Girls come and go mate." Danny said.

"Why does she like him?" he grunted as they walked into the kitchen.

"Who knows." Danny agreed. "He's a pain in the neck!"

EJ looked at him frowning.

His granddad smiled. "Ryan is a lot like his mother. Annoying as hell….but he has a big heart and he's loyal."

EJ exhaled. "I thought she liked me, no she just wanted to get close to him. She used me! She knew he was my uncle!"

"There's mot a lot can be said EJ, you can't help who you love. You just do." Danny told him.

EJ went to the fridge.

"It's a big world, there's loads of girls out there. In a few months time you won't even remember her name!"

EJ didn't care, he had other stuff to think about. "Where's…..it?"

"SHE is in a bedroom with Missy. She's having a sleep in a old travel cot we have."

"Don't get attached, Zoey doesn't want it." EJ said getting some ice.

"EJ she's a little girl, not an it!" Danny said sternly. "She is your niece!"

"It is nothing to me, IT shouldn't exist!"

"Well like it or not EJ she does. Don't treat her badly over something that isn't her fault!"

EJ pulled a face but stayed silent. He decided to go outside and get some air, he didn't want a lecture about family from his granddad!

(X)

Zoey walked into Leopards Den followed by he parents. She looked different from before. Like some of her old confidence had returned.

"Hi granddad." she said to Danny. He was walking towards Ryan's room.

"Hi Zoey." he said smiling. Acting normal.

"Where's Abbie?" she asked confidently. Her voice shook on the name. she wished she didn't have to do this. But unfortunately the baby was here and hers and…she shook her head.

"Abbie?" Danny asked.

"My d….my little…..the baby." Couldn't bring herself to say daughter yet. Couldn't bring herself to admit that she was a mother. Not even to herself!

"Miss is putting her down in an old travel cot." he said.

Zoey nodded. "I guess I better go and say hello." she murmured.

"Zoey you…." Ethan started.

"I do dad." Zoey countered quickly.

She walked towards the bedroom. Right Zoey the first meeting is gonna be the hardest. Just try ok. TRY! This little pep talk wasn't helping in the slightest but it stopped her hearing the other voice telling her to run. She knocked on the door. Opened it and saw that Missy was humming to a baby. Zoey couldn't see her face. She hesitated felt her hands clench nervously. Acid pooled in her stomach making her feel sick.

"I'm here to…meet her." Zoey said to Missy shakily. Almost like she was asking permission. Secretly hoping for a refusal!

"She's awake, a night owl." Missy murmured.

Zoey closed her eyes and exhaled. Right no one told her she couldn't see her - that meant... She walked over, using slow measured steps. Her mum and dad watched at the bedroom door. Zoey stopped again. Mouthed to herself, right and nodded. Opened her eyes once again and finally looked at the baby. A sudden paleness flooded across her face. She backed off quickly. Her back hit a table which caused the contents to fall to the floor. This startled the baby who began to cry.

Zoey meanwhile was hyperventilating. "No…..I…..I…" she stuttered dragging in air.

Lexi rushed over and led her from the room into the hallway. "Slow deep breaths honey. With me. In…..and out. In…and out." Lexi and Zoey carried on doing this for a while. Her breathing finally slowed.

"I can't mum." she panicked.

"Ok, ok." Lexi soothed. "It's ok."

Tears slid down Zoey's cheeks. "She looks like him." she whispered. "His shape face. His eyes. His hair colour. She's his clone."

"Zoey baby clam down. Your ok. He can't hurt you." Lexi said rubbing her arms softly. Zoey grabbed her mother tightly and cried in her arms.

"C'mon, come in the kitchen for a drink." Lexi said then led her down the hall.

Missy meanwhile had settled Abbie who was looking up at her solemnly with her blue eyes. To Miss she looked sad. Like she knew what had happened. She stroked her cheek softly. "Poor Zoey." she mused.

Ethan looked at the baby worried. "I don't know what to do Miss, I've got to protect Zoey but what do I do about her?"

Missy nodded. Saw Abbie's eyes drooping. She laid her gently in the cot. Covered her.

"Trust your daughter Ethan. The first meeting was bound to creep her out."

"But the way she spoke, acted. It was like she was back."

"She put up a front Eth. Inside though, she's still that little girl terrified that she's never gonna get home. I mean think about what she's been through. Beyond the kidnapping. He hasn't been caught so she's always looking over her shoulder, goes through all sorts of mental stuff, having to adjust to being home. Then she unexpectedly gives birth! Give her a little time, an adult would have problems dealing with this. The baby can stay here."

"I'll see what Zoey wants. Here or home."

Missy nodded and they left the room. Left the door open a crack. They walked down the hallway.

Zoey's head was rested on her arms on the table. She lifted her head as her dad approached.

"I'm sorry dad." she whispered.

"Dunno why your apologising angel." he answered.

"Coz I'm weak."

Ethan shook his head. "Not at all."

"How is she? Did I scare her a lot?"

"She's sleeping at the moment."

Zoey nodded and exhaled.

"You've both had a long day."

Zoey nodded. Her head all over.

"Do you want her to stay here tonight?" Ethan asked.

"Ye…." Zoey stopped mid-flow. "Um, where would she stay at home?"

Ethan paused. "In with me." Ethan offered.

"Or me." her mum added.

Zoey frowned. "Mum would you keep Abbie with you? Just for a little while?"

Lexi nodded.

"I'll get her so we can take her home and get her settled." Ethan said.

EJ walked into the kitchen, hearing the final end of the conversation. Saw his dad leaving. Look at Zoey's pale face. "Abbie? Your keeping it?" he asked with disgust.

Zoey got up sharply, grabbed EJ's arm and pushed him outside. Lowered her voice. "Right EJ listen, I don't know what is happening with Abbie. Whether I'm keeping her or not but you say one word against her and I'll….."

"You'll what?" EJ asked. "Burst into tears?"

"NO." she lowered her voice. "I'll tell mum and dad about the drugs and about your friends!" her eyes shined with a stubborn light. "If she stays you'll treat her like one of the family!"

"Tell them. I dare you!" he goaded. Disliked being told how to act.

She smiled cockily. "Ok then. You forget I have Ryan backing me up now too. Two against one - Mum, dad!" she called.

"Wait." he said and grabbed her arm.

Her eyes zeroed on his.

"Sorry." he said dropping it. "Look, I won't treat it…..her badly. I can't treat her like she'd family either."

Zoey nodded. Thought for a second. "I just need some support EJ, that's all."

"I'm here for you sis." he promised.

"I'm here for you too. Anything at all EJ." she told him.

He went to walk away.

"Look Ethan." She used his given name not his nickname to prove how serious she was. "I wouldn't have chosen this for her. I wouldn't have chosen to even have her but she's here. You can't blame her for who…well you can't pick your parents."

He nodded slowly. "It isn't fair." he whispered solemnly.

"No it isn't." Zoey agreed. "But I've learned that life isn't fair. If it was then none of this would have happened!"

(X)

It was late that night. Zoey had been building her courage for the final thing she had to deal with. The final person she had to tell…Jeffy. Her options limited so she decided just to break up with him. He was 16, he'd get over it quick enough. He said he loved her but c'mon, she wasn't good enough for that! She picked up the phone. Yeah this was harsh over the phone but she couldn't do this face to face. It would hurt too much! She looked at a picture of him, smiling and felt her eyes fill with tears.

"I'm sorry." she whispered to the picture, then rang him.

"Hi Zoey." he said. She could hear a smile in his tone. "I haven't been able to get a hold of you all day."

She kept quiet.

"I've really missed you, just wanted to know whether you'd be allowed to come to the pictures with me tomorrow or whether your dad is still at the shoot me on sight phase."

"Jeffy." she whispered.

"Zoey what is it?" he asked worried as he heard her grave tone.

"I…..I…" God this was so hard!

"Zoey are you ok?" he asked.

"Look Jeff, we can't see each other anymore." she said, the words almost choking her.

Silence on the other end. Then "What?"

She couldn't say it again.

"Why? Who?" he paused. "I don't understand Zoey."

"It's not you Jeff, your lovely it's just…." she trailed off. She was a teen mum and couldn't expect him to well deal with it. Especially seeing as she was barely dealing with it!

"Just what Zoey?" he asked.

"Just…." her mind scrambled.

"Has your dad told you to break up with me?" he asked. "Coz I can try with him. Like go and have a man to man talk and stuff. I don't want to lose you."

"No Jeff, it isn't my dad. I promise. He trusts my judgement with you. He still doesn't like you but he deals with it."

"What then Zoey?"

She exhaled.

"Zoey tell me something, coz this hurts. We might be able to fix this."

"I'm sorry Jeff, look I thought I was ready for a boyfriend but I'm not. And I'm sorry but I don't wanna see or talk to you anymore either."

"Your cutting off all contact?" he asked in disbelief.

"It's best this way. If we just for….forget each other." her voice cracked and faltered there.

"You don't mean this! I know you don't mean it!"

"I do Jeffy. This is the last time we'll talk. You've been a good friend. Take care of yourself yeah. Bye." she disconnected quickly and turned her phone off. Flung herself onto her bed and buried her face into her pillow as the tears she had held back began to steadily fall.

**A/N full chapter, aww really felt for zoey in this chapter. she struggled with the baby then breaks up with jeffy :(**


	96. Decisions

_**1 Week Later**_

Zoey lay awake in bed. It was late and she hadn't been asleep. She hadn't been able to sleep properly for the last week. She was trying, really trying to bond with the squirming little bundle and she still felt nothing. She should have felt something by now right? She knew it! She was emotionally stunted! She hadn't felt normal the whole time she'd been home. The only person she felt normal with was Jeffy - enough said. He was gone and the emotional detachment had returned with a vengeance. She'd had a full day today, she had revised for some exams she had coming up and then she'd helped her dad to decorate the spare room, he hadn't said it yet but that was to be Abbie's room when she was old enough. The pink was a dead give away! She really should be shattered but she felt wired. She put her hands over her face.

She wondered if Abbie had woke up for a bottle yet. She hadn't heard her cry and babies did wake up for bottles. She tried not to feed her if she could help it. Or wash her. Or change her. All she really did was hold her, and even then she wished she was somewhere else. It wasn't her fault it's just she couldn't do it. She was trying but maybe it was time to admit defeat. Give Abbie the chance for a mother who wanted her. Who would love her. Her dad would be pissed but this wasn't his decision. She just…. She felt nothing for this child. She didn't deserve this and neither did the baby. She didn't have a choice. It was forced on her. She rubbed her face tiredly.

The same thoughts ran through her mind night after night and she always came to the same conclusion, she'd give it one more day - and why? Coz she didn't wanna let her dad down. She wanted them to go back to the way they were. When she could do nothing wrong and he was this brave soldier protecting her from no harm. The dad who would have gave her the moon if she asked for it. All she had done since she came home was let him down. The drugs weren't her fault but everything else. When she hurt herself. The way she acted. The mood swings. Maybe - just maybe if she could do this with Abbie. Prove to him that she was trying then they could go back to how they were, she needed that back. She wanted her normal dad back. She missed him! She wasn't making him proud by ignoring her responsibility to her…the baby. It wasn't fair on her mum looking after her. She should be resting. She was pregnant herself and had her and EJ. Work too. She sat up in bed, then froze... Abbie looked like him though. How could she look at her and he reminded of that? She frowned. Felt a familiar urge. The urge to….she climbed from the bed and walked to her desk. Turned on the lamp. Grabbed a sheet of paper. Sat down. Chewed the end of her pen. Read what she wrote the day after Abbie's birth.

(X)

_Yesterday wasn't the best of days. Worst day EVER if I'm being honest. See I gave birth….supposedly a happy joyous time. Not for me. I thought it was gone. I hadn't spared it a second thought, well except to be happy that he got rid of it. I had been bleeding - albeitly a little erratically but I've been seriously stressed out recently. I should have known. Told mum. She would have sorted it for me. How could I tell them what he did though? I was so disgusted, I didn't want anyone knowing. And now look what happened. A constant reminder. For the rest of my life. No matter what this little girl will always be here and I'll always be her mu…..mu….see I can't even finish writing the word never mind saying it out loud! _

_Anyway mum delivered her. In the bathroom. I had to go in there after. It was hard. I can't forget it. That helpless feeling when I realised what was happening and I couldn't stop it. To be honest that's all I remember. As well as a lot of pain. And sobbing. After it was finished, I saw it…..sorry her. Not a proper look just a glance and I hated it. I swear I looked at it and I loathed this tiny little baby - how can you hate something that is part of you? I mean sure enough her fa…..God I can't refer to him in that way. How else do I refer to him though? She will have questions one day. How do I tell her that if I had a choice she wouldn't be here. How do i tell her that I didn't want her. How do I tell her that I wished her away so much. Worst of all how do I tell her about him and what he did? Because whether I like it or not he had a hand in creating her. God that makes me feel sick! The thought of my genes mixing with his to make her - seriously it disgusts me._

_I rang Jeffy earlier. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. I've never been in love before. I don't know if this is love but all I know is this hurts! Hurts so much. I couldn't tell him though. I couldn't bear for him to look at me and ….I wouldn't want to see the disgust on his face as he looked at me. When he realised what I gave my abuser. Not my choice but still I have his child. O God, why? WHY ME? What did I do that was so fucking wrong? I didn't deserve this shitty hand. I hate this really FUCKING HATE IT!….. Right Zoey calm down. Breathe. Clear your mind. Don't kick off._

_I have no idea what to do. I mean here I am 15 and I have a child. And not a child with some boy I thought I loved. O no that would be too easy and my life certainly isn't that! I have this child that I don't want. I'm no where near being back to my normal self. Yeah I'm calmer now and I HAD stopped having the feeling telling me to hurt myself but still! How does someone cope with this? I know I'm seriously fucked up. I admit to that. It would be daft to deny it because everyone knows. And now I'm supposed to be deciding what best to do for a child. For the rest of it's life. I can't even make the right decisions for ME and now I'm making decisions for another life! Oh my GOD I'm gonna have to stop now or I'm gonna start freaking out. I'm only 15 years old or God's sake!_

(X)

Zoey lowered her pen to the paper. She began to think about what she wanted to say.

_Ok, I'm here writing again…..guess this coping mechanism is here to stay. It's working - well at least I think it is. I have the same problem again - Do I keep her or do I give her away to a better life? See dad…_

A high pitched cry pierced the air. Zoey looked at her bedroom door. She heard a door open, then her dad's voice. He sounded tired. She then heard her mothers soft tone as she soothed a gristling baby. She lowered her pen once again but couldn't remember what she intended to write. She exhaled nosily. The longer she left this the harder it was gonna be. Abbie wasn't gonna change what she looked like, well not anytime soon. She had looked like her dad since the day she was born. And doing the bare minimum with her just wasn't working. Maybe what she needed to do was do this full time. Then she would know. She quickly made a decision. Before the voices told her to stop, she walked from her room. Her mother looked up at her from the kitchen table.

"Did she wake you up baby?" her mum asked.

Zoey shook her head. "I couldn't sleep." Zoey was keeping a cautious distance. "How is she?"

Lexi looked down at the baby. "She's having a restless night." she saw her mum shift in her seat and grimace.

She saw her dad put his hand on her mums shoulder.

"You ok mum?"

Lexi nodded. Tried and failed to stifle a yawn. Her dad shook a bottle.

Zoey made a split second decision. She intercepted her dad and took the bottle. "Mum give her here."

"I'm fine Zoey." Lexi reassured.

"Your shattered and she's my responsibility." and she had ignored it for far too long.

Lexi looked at Ethan who shrugged.

"I…..we'll be in my room." Zoey said taking the baby. "So go in yours and get some sleep." she'd ask her dad to move Abbie's stuff in her room tomorrow.

"Zoey…." her mum began.

"I know you're here if I need you."

Zoey hadn't looked at Abbie yet, and he parents noticed. She planned to do that in her room. She left her parents carrying the small light bundle. Took her to her room and sat on the bed. Looked down at her and put the bottle near to her mouth. Abbie latched on and began to eat. Right she had to stop a little way through to get Abbie's wind up or she'd be sick. She looked down and studied her little face. Pale blue eyes locked onto hers. After get Abbie's wind up Zoey began to talk.

"You look like him you know." she whispered. "I know it isn't your fault but it isn't mine either." swallowed thickly. "Neither one of us asked for this but I suppose we'll have to make the best of it huh?" Zoey sat thinking. "Look I don't know how to be a mother - but you don't know how to be a daughter either. So how about we learn together? Coz I'm all you've got."Zoey chewed her lower lip. "I can't promise you that I'll get everything right. I can't promise that we won't argue. To be honest I can't promise you much. All I can do it to try. I promise you that I'll try my best ok."

Abbie blinked at her then. Almost like an acknowledgment.

"You gotta tell me when I'm doing stuff wrong, or doing your head in ok. And no doubt I'll be doing the same with you when your older too."

Zoey noticed Abbie blinking tiredly.

"That's enough talking for tonight. You need your sleep."

Zoey looked around and realised she had no where for her to sleep. She lay her in the bed - knowing sleep tonight would be impossible. Since she had made the decision - Abbie was here to stay.

"Just cry if you need me yeah?" Zoey whispered as she laid the blanket gently over the baby. She then went back over to her desk. Turned slightly so she had a clear view of Abbie. Picked up the pen she had discarded earlier.

_Guess what. _She wrote_. I'm a mother._

**A/N believe it or not we are starting to get close to the end...at least i think so still got sum to write. thanks for sticking with it x**


	97. Finding Out

The following weeks passed quickly until a month had elapsed. Zoey was gradually becoming less dependant on her parents doing things for Abbie. If anything they had to ask her to hold her, play with her. Zoey was determined to handle the baby alone. She was juggling looking after Abbie, with school work. Her GCSE's were coming up and yes she had missed a lot but she had extenuating circumstances so they were being less strict with her. She was determined to take these tests and not only pass but get high grades. She had a child to think about and that meant good grades for a good job.

Even with all the work she had on she still missed someone. Someone she had pushed away coz she couldn't bear him knowing her secret. She wrote often, kept a diary of her thoughts and feelings. She figured when she did finally go to see a therapist to work through what happened to her then it would be useful to them to help her. She didn't feel ready to talk to anyone about it yet - someday though. Hopefully anyway. It felt good to be releasing in that way too. It felt healthy, and she barely ever felt the need to hurt herself. On some bad days when she was tired and needed sleep and had too much to do the urge was almost overwhelming but she resisted. She had responsibilities now. Was that Abbie's steadying influence? Zoey had no idea.

She glanced up at the wall and saw her to do list. It just seemed to grow and grow. She had so much to do. A pile of washing in the corner of her room. Bottles to serialise, and mix come to think of it. She had to revise for her test tomorrow, sort out someone to look after Abbie and then her bonding time. She tried to put aside time each day, even just 20 minutes. She was trying so hard to love her. It was hard though. Everyday she reminded herself that it wasn't the Abbie's fault. She didn't ask for this. Then again she didn't ask to be kidnapped either but that's the way the cookie crumbles. This is what happened and now Zoey had to deal with it!

She glanced around her room and was astonished at the change, once upon a time it had been covered of posters of boys she was in love with. Now it was painted in a lilac colour and was all baby proof. A large cot stood by her bed, she walked over to it and looked down at Abbie's little face. They had some pretty full on conversations at night just Zoey telling her stuff. She talked about herself. When she was little, likes and dislikes. Then other stuff. Her family. EJ, mum and dad. Even Jeffy a little. She stopped that after she found herself getting upset. Mostly she told her she was trying so hard. Asking her to understand and give her time. She always promised to get their eventually. Eventually was a long time coming though! She pulled the blanket up a little bit as it had slipped down. Worried about Abbie getting cold. There was a promise she always made to her. A silent promise. A vow actually. That what happened to her was never happening to Abbie. EVER! Then again her parents hadn't planned on it happening to her. She gently touched the babies cheek then returned to her books.

"Biology - Gah!" she muttered, returned to the cardio pulmonary system. After an hour she was feeding Abbie.

"You know all this biology stuff is really rubbish!" Zoey told Abbie. "I have no idea how mum does this, like on a daily basis. Dad's job is ok I suppose. Not the fireman one, that's scary but him being a therapist. I like the sound of that. Could you imagine me a therapist?" Zoey smiled. "So doctor Zoey what the prognosis? the person would ask me, then I'd look at them and say. 'Well I think you royally screwed."

Abbie looked at her, almost stern.

"Ok ok, I'd try to help them the best I could, still think they are screwed though. I have the dreaded biology test tomorrow. Can you believe that? How could they put me through that? How can they put anyone through that? I was gonna ask mum to dress up as me and sneak in and do it for me - what do you think?"

The baby stayed silent.

"Yeah your right. She'd never agree. Plus the bump would be like a massive giveaway don't you think?"

Again silence.

"Yes, ok. Thanks for keeping me on the straight and narrow. And I think I'll take your advice and ask mum to explain it to me. She's a paramedic. And I suppose dad could help me with the chemistry and your uncle EJ…..well he couldn't help me with very much to be honest. Don't worry about him - I'm working on him for you."

EJ blanked Abbie completely. Acted like she didn't exist. Wouldn't even be in the same room as her. Which meant that she and EJ didn't talk anymore. He always seemed to be surly and argumentative. Next time he yelled at mum though Zoey swore she was gonna sort him out.

As she was changing Abbie she heard a knock at the front door. Her mum would get it. Another louder knock.

"Two seconds." she called. Lay Abbie in her cot and shook a rattle in front of her face. She switched the baby monitor on and put it in her pocket. She walked from her room. Before she could issue a greeting her mind blanked when she saw who was stood at the door. Her visitor paled when he saw her. She paled in reply.

"Delivery." Jeffy said blandly.

"Ok." she whispered. Walked over, took the invoice. "I'll be a minute." Usually when he brought a delivery he brought it in then sat with her for a while.

Jeffy nodded. "You want me to bring this stuff inside?" he asked softly.

Zoey's first instinct was to reject his offer. Until she saw all the heavy bottles and tins.

"If you wouldn't mind. Just on the kitchen table."

"Will do." he said stiffly.

Zoey exhaled shakily and walked into the living room. Saw her mother asleep on the sofa. She bent down. "Mum….hey mum."

"Mmmm." her mum answered sleepily. Opened her eyes which were dusted with sleep. She blinked tiredly.

"Delivery." Zoey told her.

"I'll be two ticks." Lexi replied.

"I can sort it for you. I just don't know where your bag is."

"Study." Lexi said tiredly then closed her eyes.

Zoey nodded then walked to the linen cupboard and retrieved a fleece blanket. Covered her mother up. Zoey knew she had pulled an impromptu all nighter at work last night. After working all day and half of the night before. Her dad was pissed! Spent the whole time worrying about her. She studied her mother for a second. She was expecting a baby. A baby that was wanted. A baby that was loved from the beginning. A baby that would have a stable mother and normal loving father - not a psychopath. She heard Jeffy's voice behind her and jumped.

"Christ!" she breathed as she turned. "Freaking creeping Jesus!"

Jeffy looked at her confused.

"Ignore me." she told him with a small smile. Led him to the study. "Help me find my mum's bag will you?"

"Sure." he answered. Began looking. "So Zoey." he started. "How you been?"

She shrugged. "Good. You?"

"Me too." he agreed.

Zoey found the bag. They stood in silence.

"You never did tell me why you broke up with me." Jeffy said.

Zoey froze. "Yes I did Jeffy."

"I know the crap you TOLD me. Didn't mean it was true. It's all rubbish, every word of it!"

"I'm just not ready for a steady boyfriend Jeffy." she lied.

He exhaled. "So I did mean so little to you. It is so easy for you to end this. Face to face."

"No Jeffy." she said. Voice shaking. Looked in her mums bag so he wouldn't see her face. "If I'm not ready then I'm not ready."

"Ok." he breathed. "I can't say I understand. I could understand if what you was saying was true. I can't understand why you lying to me!"

She pulled the purse out and counted the money. Why couldn't he just take what she said at face value?

"Was I pressuring you? Crowding you?" he asked softly. "Did you feel like I was forcing you to do stuff? Pushing you too fast?"

He head shot up. "No Jeffy. It isn't you. Honestly. I swear. This is nothing about you. It's me. I'm messed up right now. There's stuff I don't expect you to take on."

He frowned. Confused at her words.

"Trust me Jeffy." she asked. A plea.

"What about friends? Just like before."

She shook her head sadly.

He clenched his teeth. "Fine!"

She handed him the money. He jammed it in his pocket and began to walk from the house.

"I'm sorry Jeffy." she called after him.

He turned. "I don't really….." a cry came from the baby monitor in her pocket.

"What's that?" he asked.

"I think you'd better be going." Zoey told him forcefully. Headed for her room. He followed. She tried to close the door behind her, blocking him entry but he walked in behind her. Saw the baby lain in a cot. Crying.

"Zoey?" Jeffy asked as she picked her up.

'There's stuff I can't expect you to take on' echoed in his mind.

"Do you understand yet?" Zoey asked rubbing Abbie's back.

"She's yours?" he asked in disbelief.

Zoey raised her chin and looked him in the eye. "Yes."

"Who's her….." Jeffy paled. Not finishing the question.

"Yes."

Abbie's crying stopped as the wind that was trapped was released. "There all better." Zoey murmured softly.

Meanwhile Jeffy was staring at Zoey.

"Do you mind?" Zoey hissed under his scrutiny. "If you wouldn't mind I DO have stuff to do, I don't appreciate being looked at under a freaking microscope!" she hated people staring at her.

"Bye then." he squeaked. Practically ran through her bedroom door.

Zoey exhaled. Stared at the door Jeffy had left from. "See little lady. That's the type of reaction I get from boys. Lets hope you do better huh? That's a way away yet though. To tell you the truth Abs - we're better off without boys. Who needs em?"

Abbie gurgled at her.

"So you ready for some Abbie Zoey time?" Zoey still couldn't bring herself to call herself a mum yet. She didn't feel like one. She didn't feel like anything really. Just sorta pushed into situations she wanted no part of.

**A/N Zoey thinks she doesn't care but I tried to write her like u can tell she does. She has issues and hopefully she will sort them - this is part one of this - it was getting to be miles long so i cut it hopefully part 2 will b up 2moro cant say busy busy busy x**


	98. Forever And Always  Twice

An hour later Zoey was sat on the veranda telling Abbie a modern version of the 3 little pigs.

"And termiwolf said. Asta la vista piggy." Zoey said in a deep voice.

"And kung fu piggy said. I'lla choppa head offaaaa." she said in a high pitched voice.

Abbie watched her with wide eyes. Like she was totally engrossed. She was probably just wondering whether her mother was a complete and total cracker!

"Anyway, chop suey pig who is a dab hand in the kitchen said to the wolf, now look this is unneccesary how about I make you some prime ribs huh? With my speciality sauce. See us pigs we're far to fatty. Ribs though. They're good. And the wolf licked his lips and agreed, he left the little pigs in peace with his meal and he never bothered them again."

Zoey's stories always ended happily. Abbie was abit young to know the hard cruel facts of life just yet.

She heard footsteps and looked up, she was expecting to see her dad walking up with EJ. They had a lot of man to man bonding to catch up on. Dad took him down the gym he used to box at. Apparently he's famous.

But no, to her surprise it was Jeffy. Zoey looked at him unflinchingly. She had nothing to be ashamed of - and one word about her daughter and Zoey was gonna…she froze. Had she just….she had hadn't she! She had just referred to Abbie as her daughter! Fair enough in her head but that was start right? She couldn't contain the smile. Then she sent it away. She refused to smile at Jeffy!

"I thought I saw the last of you Jeffy." The pain that filled her chest at the way he left hadn't gone away. The way he ran out of here hurt. That was why she hadn't wanted him to know.

"I freaked out." he admitted.

"Really? I hadn't guessed!" she shook Abbie's rattle. Abbie clasped it. Zoey smiled down at her.

"I just wasn't expecting it….her."

"Neither was I." she drawled. She supposed she could understand why he acted like that, her reaction to the baby hadn't been the best.

"Look Zoey - I want you to know I don't care. I don't see how her being here affects us!"

"She is in my life Jeffy. Anyone I'm with affects her, I need to concentrate on…." she exhaled shaking her head.

"What?" he asked.

"Finding a way to love her." she told him.

Jeffy looked at her in sympathy.

"She looks like him Jeff and it's really hard for me sometimes. It's easier then it was but still tough you know?"

He walked over and sat beside Zoey. Looked at the baby. "I think she looks like you."

Zoey looked at Jeffy dubiously.

"No really. She's a little beauty."

Zoey rubbed her face with both hands, then hid it. He saw her shoulders shaking.

"God Zoey I'm sorry I didn't wanna upset you."

She shook her head. Uncovered her face. "Why you so nice to me Jeffy? There is a million girls out there who'd be lucky to have you."

"Yeah buts there's only one of you." he replied sincerely then nudged her shoulders.

"I'm nothing special." she said softly. "I was….."

"Your not the sum of what happened to you. Your so much more than that. You're a daughter and a sister. A mother and girlfriend. Your funny and clever and you appreciate a beautiful view. Your self sufficient. Strong. Gorgeous."

"You forgot psycho." she interrupted.

"So you have issues. I do too."

She exhaled.

He was wearing her down. He knew it! "I don't care about what happened to you. Or the fact that you have a baby. Or that you think you're a psycho. None of that matters to me. Your still you. And I don't want you to change. Well except maybe talking to me instead of pushing me away."

Zoey looked at him for a second. "Your so sweet." she finally whispered.

He smiled "My middle name. So what's she called?"

"Abbie." she replied.

"Can I hold her?"

She nodded. Picked her from her bouncer. Handed her to him. "Support her head." she said instinctively.

Soon Abbie was nestled in his arms. "I'm a natural." he said as the baby looked up at him.

"She rarely cries Jeff." Zoey told him.

"Go on burst my bubble." he said dryly. "Here I was thinking I was good."

"You are." she whispered.

He looked at her and smiled. "I'll always be here for you…..and her. I promise."

Zoey leaned in and kissed him once. Gently. "I love you." she finally said. It felt natural. Right.

"Love you too." he replied.

(X)

EJ and Ethan walked up to the house.

"That right hook was brilliant dad. How did you do it?"

"Thabo showed me that one, I wasn't much older than you at the time.

"Why didn't you ever tell us that you were a professional boxer?"

Ethan shrugged. "I gave it up long before you were born. Long before Zoey was born actually. I'm really rusty."

You couldn't tell! EJ thought nodding.

"Next time I'll show you my signature move huh? If it connects it knocks the other guy into next week - if I do say so myself."

EJ turned and smiled at is dad. He enjoyed this time with him.

(X)

They carried on walking and Ethan saw his daughter sat with a boy. She was staring at him like he hung the moon and stars. It was then he knew - without even having to look at the boy who it was. Jeffy. He knew what was happening and wished he could stop it. Lexi had looked at him like that at that age! Zoey loved Jeffy and he didn't want her hurt!

"What's HE doing here?" EJ asked coldly.

"I dunno." Ethan replied.

EJ and Ethan walked up the stairs onto the veranda.

Ethan's eyes narrowed when he saw Jeffy holding Abbie. "Jeffy." he said as a way of greeting.

"Hello Mr Bell."

"Call me Ethan." he said stiffly after seeing his daughters angry face. Decided not to waste a second with his warning. "I'm warning you now boy, you hurt my daughter or granddaughter I'll find you." Ethan suddenly had a flashback of Danny warning him when Lexi was in hospital. God! He thought. I've turned into Danny! Whoa!

"Oh my God DAD!" Zoey declared her face bright red.

"Are we clear?" Ethan asked calmly.

"Crystal." Jeffy replied coolly. Not at all perturbed.

"Good!"

Zoey covered her face with her hands.

"You ok Zoey?" Ethan asked her with a smile.

"Oh yeah dad. I'm fan-freaking- tastic. You just threatened to beat up my boyfriend!" she muttered.

"Great! And little bit?" he said smiling.

"She's brill. Needs some of the step up milk. The one she's having isn't filling."

Ethan walked over and tickled under Abbie's chin. The baby smiled at him.

"That's my baby girl." he murmured. "Both of them." he said looking at Jeffy pointedly.

"Da-ad! STOP!" Zoey pleaded.

He laughed. "What about nappies?"

"I'm grown up dad." she breathed.

"Haha Zoey." he said.

"She's fine for now." Zoey finally said.

Ethan nodded "Right I'm offskies to find your mum."

"She's asleep on the sofa. Abit crunched up. Get her to go to bed dad."

"Will do." he said. Shot a final look of warning to Jeffy then left.

EJ meanwhile had remained standing there the whole time, not saying a word.

"What EJ?" Zoey snapped.

"What a happy little family." he said sarcastically.

Zoey frowned. "What?"

"Well you have mummy, baby and now a daddy too."

"EJ it isn't…" Zoey began.

"And if we are what ha that got to do with you?" Jeffy asked.

EJ frowned. Had expected Jeffy to run when he called him daddy. He had merely tightened his hold very slightly on the baby in his arms.

Zoey stared at Jeffy after hearing his words.

"Well Ethan?" Jeffy asked. "You got a problem with that or me say it now."

EJ glared at him and stomped into the house.

"Jeffy?" Zoey asked in shock.

"Sorry, I kinda overstepped the bounds huh….actually kinda leaped over them then sprinted a mile…..or 5." he looked uncomfortable.

Zoey had no idea what to say. How did you respond to that, if she had a choice then Jeffy would be Abbie's dad, but he wasn't - how did she feel about what he said?

"Look Zoey, I know I'm young and stupid but I meant what I said. That I'm here for you - both of you. I do love you." he added in a whisper.

"But she's…." Zoey began.

"She's yours Zoey, that's all I need to know."

Zoey smiled, looked at the baby in Jeffy's arms and thought that she suited Jeffy and Jeffy suited her. "Look I don't mind you like getting to know her but we'll just take it slow huh? I don't want her getting attached."

"What if I get attached and don't want to let her go - or you?"

He was making this so hard. She wanted to tell him that he could be Abbie's dad if he wanted - but he was 16. Far too young to be making a decision like this I mean this could affect the rest of his life! "One day at a time Jeff." she said with a smile.

"You know in a few years time when she's running round calling me daddy I'm gonna remind you of this. And then maybe then you'll believe that when I promise you something I keep it. I promise that even if we break up - I'll be here for her and you."

"Jeffy - your 16." Zoey whispered.

"Ok so it's earlier than I expected but so what? She likes me, I love you and it won't take long to love her. Halfway there already. It's all good. We're good."

She nodded, her eyes shuttered. She was hiding from him for some reason. Jeffy had one other reason for being Abbie's dad. He was doing it so Zoey didn't have to answer any awkward decisions about who Abbie's dad actually is. To anyone - including the baby. As far as he is concerned he is her dad and let anyone try and challenge it, even her family! He didn't want either one of them hurt. He rocked the baby slightly and felt Zoey's head rest on his shoulder. He turned and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Forever and always." he promised.

(X)

Ethan walked into the living room. Saw Lexi sprawled on her stomach. Her arms pillowed under her head. Half of her face hidden. A blanket lay in a heap on the floor. She looked peaceful, but Zoey was right she was 6 foot and this sofa was far too small.

"Lexi honey." he said softly.

She mumbled some gibberish and turned her head.

"C'mon Lex you gotta go to bed. The sofa is too small."

"In a minute Ethan." she mumbled sleepily. Then went straight back to sleep.

Maybe he should just carry her. I mean she had pulled a stupidly long shift, which he was pissed about! He had rang her manager and tore strips off him then warned him if he pulled anything like that again Ethan was gonna disembowel him!

"Lex I'm gonna carry you through if you don't get up." he warned.

"Ok, Ethan. Get some vegetables for dinner too."

He frowned quizzically then smiled. Debated on having a little fun, Lexi sleep deprived was like she was on drugs, anything could come out of her mouth! He opened his mouth then chided himself - what was he doing? This wasn't like old times. They were divorced and all the old games they used to play were no more. In the past and that's where they were gonna stay!

"See you later." she breathed. "Love you."

Ethan froze. He had just been about to pick her up but the her statement stopped him dead.

"What Lex?" he asked. Not quite believing what she said.

"Love you." she repeated. Then her breathing once again turned slow and deep.

Right so he wasn't mistaken. She had said she loved him. Twice. How did he feel about that? Shocked? Yes. Weird? Yes. On edge? Now he was! He knew he still loved her. He had never stopped, but they were divorced. Ok she was pregnant with his child and they lived together, but that didn't change the fact that they were divorced. God she always did like to throw him curve balls, keep him guessing. On his toes. Ok just don't think about it Ethan. Just pretend she didn't say it! Not his strong suit but he could try right?

He bent down and picked her up, even pregnant she was still slim and light as a feather. Her arms wrapped around his neck and her head rested on his shoulder. His arms tightened instinctively and at that moment he never wanted to let her go. He carried her from her room to her room and lay her gently down on the bed. He looked down at her. Everything about her was beautiful, more so when she was pregnant. She literally glowed. Her skin shined. He loved the way her hair splayed across her pillow. Would there ever be a day when she didn't steal the breath from his lungs? Yeah - when he was dead probably. Then and only then. She'd forever be the one for him. He had loved her for so long that he didn't know any different. Didn't want any different. He was literally a one woman man, couldn't imagine loving anyone else. Coz no one compared to her.

Lexi suddenly whispered his name then he hand rested on her stomach.

Ethan decided to follow an impulse. Something he knew he shouldn't do but felt that he had to! He bent down and kissed her lips once. Feather soft.

Lexi sighed in her sleep then smiled. He touched her cheek gently then left the room - didn't look back. He was so close to doing something stupid - like waking her up and telling her they should try again. He wasn't strong enough to have her decide he wasn't good enough a second time!

**A/N - Full n deja vu wi this story, if you remember way back in the ties that bind II Danny had a similar thought about Lex/Ethan. Wanting to stop them falling for each other. Now Ethan is doin the same wi Zoey/Jeffy. Lol just goes to show that parents of any generation all think the same things :D **

**Jeffy is cute and his final line 'forever and always. I was listening to a song called forever and always so added it lol**

**I actually feel so sorry for Ethan here - bless him he's cute too :D x **


	99. Division

**A/N ok recap long time since I wrote this - alice is heartbroken by the death of missy and her writing is like well bad. Jeffy and Zoey are back together and she has decided to keep Abby and they are going to raise her together. Missy and Danny are a few months from their wedding. Anything else you don't remember drop me a line and I can tell you x**

**_Elsewhere_**

Daniel and Amy were in the surgery. Amy was looking in the cages. Daniel snuck up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pressed soft kisses to the back of her neck.

"What are you doing tonight?" he breathed.

She shivered at the tickle of his breath on her skin. "Um….I'm not sure. Can't remember." she replied shakily. Then tried to pull away to work. Daniel had other ideas.

"Since it's not important enough to remember how about me and you go to the pictures?"

"Sounds good." she whispered, felt his arm tighten slightly as she pulled. "But we need to get our work done."

"Work schmirk." he laughed softly at her snort of disgust. Then spun her around. She put her arms around his neck to steady herself, she couldn't resist the hot look in his eyes. She smiled at him. Sod work! He smiled in return. His feeling showing in the depth of his blue eyes. They kissed softly.

Amie walked through the door and coughed. Daniel looked at her his eyebrows raised.

"We'll carry that on later." he whispered to Amy then released her.

Amie rolled her eyes.

"Daniel, dad wants you. Needs you to be measured for your suit."

Daniel made a face.

"Tell them I'm the same size as dad." he grumbled. "I have work to do."

"Work schmirk." Amy told him laughing.

"Nope, they won't hear it. Dad said if you don't he's sending Missy down here to collect you."

Daniel looked torn. "Guess I better go then."

"Yeah or my mum will skewer you, I'd hate to have to chose." Amy laughed.

"I know you'd pick me." he said winking.

"Maybe." she told him.

"Ahem!" Amie interrupted irratated.

"Well here I go, to be thrown to the lions." Daniel muttered.

"You should have seen dad!" Amie told him. I've never seen Miss laugh so much in my life. Seriously, he's traumatised." Amie completely ignored the other Amy.

"Thanks Ames, way to encourage me!"

"I try." she said with a charming smile.

"Right Amy we'll go at about 7 yeah?" He then kissed her and walked from the surgery. Amie remained standing at the door.

"So your still here?" Amie asked coldly.

"Yeah." she replied simply. Refusing to be baited. She had promised Daniel she wouldn't argue with Amie. That was ALL she promised though.

"So Miss hasn't binned you yet?" Amie asked laughter in her tone.

Amy's back stiffened. "Didn't you used to call her mum?" Amy asked nastily looked her in the eye. "Let me guess, she asked you not to coz her REAL daughter is here?"

Amie's fists clenched.

"Don't start with me Amie! You started this, you can give it but not take it huh?" Amy asked looking at her fists.

"They'll see you for what you are!" Amie warned.

"They already know what you are don't they?" Amy goaded.

"I'm family. Blood! More than you! Some stranger who'll be gone soon enough!"

"I mean the other stuff Amie. Second rate soldier, second rate sister. Second rate daughter. I've been getting close to Lexi and your dad, you have problems there don't you? Lets face it Amie, your just second rate EVERYTHING! Your nothing!"

Amie was shaking with the rage coursing through her. She stalked over and grabbed a handful of Amy's collar. "So I'm second rate huh? I'm nothing?" she whispered icily.

"O and lets add a violent psycho to the mix as well. Amie you have issues." she stared at her. "Go ahead Amie. Smack me you know you want to, one little outburst is all I need! You have more to lose then me don't you? So go ahead, hit me and lose Miss. MY mum, not yours." Amy smiled victoriously.

"It might just be worth it to knock you off your perch!"

"Now I know you don't mean that Amie." Amy said superiorly.

Amie heard footsteps approaching. "You'll keep!" she warned then released her. Crossed her arms.

Missy walked in.

"Hi mum." Amy said with a smile. Glanced at the other Amie who glared at her.

"My 2 favourite girls. Your needed. Daniel isn't the only one who needs measured."

"I'm just finished in here." Amy said cutting off what Amie had been about to say.

"That's good." Missy said. "What about you Ames?" she asked turning to Amie.

She nodded. "Ok then my girlies."

Amie shot the other Amy a final malevolent look. Amy merely smiled in return knowing she was winning.

(X) **Later**

Amy said in the living room. "Hey Amy." Missy said walking into the living room.

Amy smiled at her mum looking up.

"Can we talk?" Missy asked.

Amy felt herself stiffen instinctively. "Let me guess your getting rid of me again?" she asked coldly.

"NO of course not, I wouldn't do that to you." Missy told her. "Where'd you get that idea from?"

Amy looked at the floor.

"Amy."

Amy exhaled. "I get told it on a daily basis. Often to the tellers great delight.

"Missy frowned. "From?"

Amy shook her head.

Realisation dawned for Missy. "Amie?"

Amy nodded. "It's doing my head in. if you don't want me then fine but I can't hear that ALL the time!"

"Amy I do want you. I don't know why she'd saying that stuff but I'll sort it ok."

"I don't want you falling out with Amie over me." Amy told her.

"Look your both my daughters, she needs to know she can't treat you this way!"

Amy nodded and suppressed a small smile. Amie just kept playing right into her hands. "So what did you wanna talk about?"

"I wanted to ask you to med bridges with Amie. Danny told me you two were so close when you were little. I hate that the two of you seem to hate each other. I love you both and….it's hard. Her mother was my best friend and I want that relationship for the two of you. You won't regret it. She's a lot like her mum, only better."

Amy's inner smile faded. Her mum did want the best for her and she was deliberately sabotaging a relationship that was important to her. God she felt like dirt!

"I just get the feeling that I'm gonna lose on of you. That can't happen. You both mean the world to me. When you get to know her you'll see how amazing she is. Funny loyal caring and a little crazy. Problem is she's as stubborn as they come. Far too mule headed for her own good."

"A lot like you then?" Amy asked.

Missy nodded. "Yeah I suppose. And you."

Amy thought for a second. She and Daniel were serious. Getting more serious by the day it seemed. Her mum and brother were here. She didn't want this feud with Amie to carry on anymore. Everyone would lose eventually. "I'll try. I'll apologise." Amy said.

"I'll talk to Amie about what she said." Missy promised.

"NO!" Amy declared. "It won't do any good." it would only provoke her, the reaction she wanted initially not now though. "Just don't say anything."

Missy eyed her, not promising anything.

(X)

Amie was on the phone to Tom sat on the veranda.

"Well?" he asked.

"I dunno, I haven't done the test yet." she replied.

"What's keeping you?" he asked excitedly.

"I want you there too. You were there for the other bits." she said softly.

"I hope so." he laughed. "Have you got the ring back yet?"

"No I rang the jewellers. Still waiting. " she breathed. "I miss you."

"Me too. These 2 weeks have been hell. I fly home tomorrow, as soon a s I put my bags in the house I'll be straight to yours. I promise."

"I'll do the test then ok?"

"But I need to know the suspense is killing me."

"Tom I know your deep in Iran somewhere, don't talk about dying huh?" she asked.

"Sorry." he replied. "You know if you are pregnant mum and dad are gonna be thrilled. They'll have another reason to love you. They've been harping on about grandkids for years."

She heard him typing.

"Guess what as well. I just received an email. The investigation is finished. They cleared you for duty. They are putting a sanction in your record and your on a type of probation."

"So I'm not chucked out?" she asked.

"Nope, although if your pregnant…." he began.

"Don't start!" she warned playfully.

"I gotta go Amie. Hogey is shouting something. See you soon. Love you."

"Love you too, call me later if you can." she asked.

"I'll find time!" he promised.

Amie disconnected and stared at a picture of her and Tom on her phone. God she missed him. Now she knew how Daniel felt with the enforced separation with…..Amie wasn't even thinking her name! instead she thought back to 4 months ago. When she'd been lying in hospital and the told Tom she wanted a baby with him. They had discussed becoming serious. Like engaged serious. Married kids serious. He'd immediately told her that they should discuss this when her head was clear from drugs.

So two weeks later she'd been discharged and she cornered him in a hut, told him that nearly dying sort of cleared things up for you. Made you wake up to the important things in life. She wanted him with her - full time. And she wanted a baby too. He said he wanted the same but they were rushing things slightly. She admitted they were but this felt right and when something feels this right it couldn't possibly be wrong! It didn't matter to her if and when they argued because they would always find a way to make up. She walked over to him and from then on….

A week later he had to fly back to England then returned. With his grandmothers engagement ring. He'd then came home, took her to dinner then went down on one knee. She immediately accepted. The ring had been too big, he had said they would take it to a jewellers then got called away. He left it at his house in England. Hence the reason it hadn't been at the jewellers earlier.

Amie's mind was pulled back to another matter. Had they did it? Had they made a baby? She smiled. She really hoped so. She didn't care about going back to work. All she wanted was Tom and their baby. As she was happily musing what their child would look like Missy walked out onto the veranda.

"Ames." Missy said.

Amie turned to face Missy. Saw the look in her face. "Miss?" she asked worried.

"What's your problem with Amy?" she asked calmly.

Amie crossed her arms. "I don't trust her."

"Amie, she's my daughter. She's important to me!"

Amie looked away.

"She told me what you said. You can't tell her I don't want her when I do!"

"You just don't see it Miss!" Amie told her coldly.

"See what?"

"See that she is only getting close to you to hurt me!"

"How could me getting close to her hurt you?"

Amie bit her tongue, had a feeling that bad mouthing Amy to Miss would only make it worse. She'd only stick up for her!

"Amie can you please not try to get along? I love you both!"

"She's planning something Miss. I know it. She's a psycho. She showed up here 15 years out of the blue. Tells you one second she hates you then she loves you - isn't that even remotely suspicious to you?"

"No it isn't." Missy told her which aggravated Amie.

"Amie she is my daughter. I'm asking you to do this…for me." Missy pleaded.

Amie shook her head. "No." she'd never trust her!

Missy exhaled. "She agreed why can't you?"

Amie pinned her with her gaze. "I don't want you to start comparing us Miss. I'm nothing like her!"

"Amie I'm gonna lose one of you. Why can't you try?"

"Coz she's trying to come between us!" Amie told her. God this Amy was clever. No doubt she realised this was how she'd react and planned it!

"God Amie!"

"No I won't!" she said stubbornly. "I'll catch her out in her lies then you'll see!"

"If you continue this vendetta then it isn't Amy coming between us Amie it's you! Don't make me choose I can't!"

Amie stood up sharply. "How about I chose for you then? Blood is thicker then water isn't it!" she stalked away.

"AMIE!" Missy called after her.

Amie ignored her. Anger was coursing through her. She walked to her problems trunk determined to cool off. She saw Amy on the phone.

"Ok Mick yeah mate take care. Love you." Amy laughed.

Amie's anger built. Cheating on her brother too? It was then she realise she had nothing to lose now. She stomped over. Amy saw her approaching.

"Look Amie." she began.

"I'm done with talking!" she fumed then swung her fist.

**A/N straight bk into it wi this story - it's quite close to the end so please stick wi it x reviews are golden x**


	100. Tricked

Amy ducked just in time to miss Amie's fist.

"Whoa Amie!" she said backing off.

"Look Amie mum spoke to me I wanna mend…"

"Miss spoke to me too Amy. Your plan worked and now I'm pissed. I have nothing to lose and I'm gonna work out some of my frustration on your FACE!"

Amy jumped out of the way as Amie swung again.

"Whatever you said can't you work it out? I don't want to come between you anymore!"

"You didn't wanna come between us? That's all you ever wanted!" she declared. "This is unfixable!" she said coldly. Grabbed a handful of Amy's collar. "I hope you think this is worth it!" Amie hissed.

"Amie!" Missy declared walking from around the corner. "What are you doing?"

The sound of her voice had Amie's anger changing into sadness. She was losing her mother. She looked at Missy her blue eyes full of tears. "Doing what everyone expects. I'm losing you so SHE can have you to herself! And you don't even care. The only one you listen to is her!"

"What?" Missy asked confused. "Just because Amy is here doesn't mean I don't love you."

"Love me? Did you hear what I just said? Let me spell it out! She told me she was taking you away from me. I'm only finishing the job for her. At least this way I get some satisfaction!" Amie released Amy and began to walk away. "Goodbye Melissa!" she yelled putting on a heavy Scottish accent. She sounded just like her mum and was hitting out to hurt Missy - at the moment she didn't care!

"Amie please." Missy called.

She jogged off into the distance.

Missy turned her daughter who was looking at the ground guiltily. "Amy tell me what the hell just happened!"

Amy exhaled.

(X)

Amie walked around Jo'burg. After her little altercation with the other Amy she had to get away. Driving seemed like the best option. At least if she changed her mind to beat Amy up she had to drive and find her, it would give her time to calm down. He found herself at Jo'burg and decided to buy a pregnancy test for when Tom came.

This stuff with Missy….Amy may have taken her away but at least she had made Missy see that Amy wasn't as perfect as she liked to portray herself. It hurt losing her mum but she had lived nearly her whole life without one before and could do that again - no problem her heart still ached but losing anyone does that to you!

She walked into the pharmacist and looked around. Smiled at the cashier. She picked up a box and took it to the counter.

"Good luck." the cashier said putting the receipt in the bag,

"Thanks ." Amie said with a smile. A display of aftershave caught her eye and she looked. A man walked into the shop with a black cap. He seemed to be staring at a young woman who was in the shop. The girl seemed oblivious.

C'mon Ames get a grip, this isn't a war torn jungle it's Jo'burg. Your seeing stuff that isn't there! Amie left and walked back to her truck. Saw the black capped man leave the shop at the same time as the young woman. Amie decided to follow him covertly. She pretended to window shop when he turned around to see if he was being watched. Amie watched in her peripheral vision, saw the second he decided to make his move.

Shit! Amie thought as the man grabbed the girl and began dragging her into an alley. You bastard! Amie thought. Didn't think, broke into a dead run and ran into the dark alley she saw the man. He was over the woman with his hand over her mouth he was tearing at her clothes as she lay on the floor fighting and squirming. Amie grabbed his shoulders and pulled him off the girl threw him to the floor.

"What the hell?" he roared.

"You ok?" Amie asked the woman.

The man sprang at her. Had her pinned against the wall, an arm against her throat. He pulled a knife out.

"Last thing you ever done pal!" she croaked as her army training kicked in. She moved quickly, spun him so that his back was against the wall. Then looked back at the woman. A piece of wood swung at her head. She ducked just in time.

Jesus! She though confused….then realised. Oldest trick in the book. Team of muggers. This was how they set their victims up - as in her! She had no time to think as the wood swung again. She jumped back. Stand and fight or retreat. He carrier bag still dangled form her wrist. She thought of the baby - if she was pregnant...she had to retreat what if….before she knew it the man elbowed her hard in the stomach. The air whooshed from her lungs.

The girl knew aiming for her head wasn't working so she aimed at the same spot her boyfriend hit - the stomach. Amie anticipated this and turned. Succeeded in protecting her stomach, the blow jarred her spine though. She fell to her knees and wrapped her arms around her stomach. They hit her again with the plank and she fell onto the hard concrete, landed with an air stealing thud. Christ she was in trouble!

(X)

Amy was walking. She had caught sight of the truck Amie drove off in as she drove to the suppliers. She knew Amie was around here somewhere. She wanted to find her so she could make up with Miss. She turned the corner and saw a man and woman above someone lain on the ground. The person was trying to get up. Amy saw them take a stomp to the head. The victim kicked out but missed.

"HEY!" Amy yelled.

Seeing the odds were even now the man and woman looked at each other and ran. Amy decided not to follow and chase them. Went to the person on the ground.

"You ok?" she asked softly bending down.

"Go away!" the person replied belligerently. They were holding their head tightly.

Wait a minute Amy knew that tone! Shook it off. "Look your obviously hurt, let me get you an ambulance."

"No - don't need it." the person gasped getting up to their knees.

"Amie?" Amy gasped realising who it was. No wonder the tone was familiar!

Amie winced as pain engulfed her stomach. "That's what you get when you try to help people." she groaned to herself.

"What happened?" Amy asked.

"Nothing to do with you! Why you here anyway following me? Wonder why you didn't give them a hand!"

Amy narrowed her eyes. "NO I wasn't following you, you have an overinflated ego. See my life doesn't revolve around you!"

Amie snorted.

"I did want to talk to you though. I just wanted to say sorry for all the stuff that's happened between us. I want to start fresh. Be friends."

"What's your angle this time?" Amie seethed. "Not happy taking Miss you wanna take my place in the family. Fuck you!"

"For Christ sake Amie I'm trying here!"

Amie was at on the ground holding her stomach. Amy noticed she hadn't moved.

"Amie?" Amy asked looking at her intently.

"Get away from me!" she groaned as Amy tried to help her up. She batted away her hands. "I can do it myself."

"Let me help you. Take you home."

"I don't need your help!" Amie croaked.

"It looks like you do." Amy replied simply.

Amie shot her a dark look. "You touch me and I'll break you arm!" she warned.

Amy ignored her.

"OFF!" she fumed as Amy reached for her.

"You have a complex. But you see Amie I ain't scared of you." Amy told her. Put her arm around her waist and heaved her up.

Amie clutched her stomach. Amy lifted Amie's arm around her shoulders it was then Amy noticed her bag. Saw the box inside. "Is that yours?" Amy asked quickly.

"No it's the Easter bunnies." Amie replied sarcastically.

"Need I remind you that I am the only thing holding you I let go and go down like a sack of potatoes."

"Do it!" Amie seethed.

Just like Amie to show no weakness. amy thought. Decided to change direction. "I take your answer as a yes, your pregnant?"

"If I knew that I wouldn't have the test would I?" Amie asked.

"What happened?" Amy asked changing the subject again trying to find soemthing they wouldn't argue about. They walked towards the truck ignoring the startled glances from passer by's.

"This guy was following a girl. Dragged her into an alley. Me being the good Samaritan I am went to help." she shook her head. "Turns out they are a team. When I put him out of action she went at my head with a plank of wood. When she missed her boyfriend hit me in the stomach then she did too."

Amy put her in the truck. "The baby if there is one?"

Amie looked at her. Concern shining from her eyes. This was the one time Amy had saw her vulnerable. It made her feel sick why she was like that. A baby! "Hospital!" Amy told her.

Amie shook her head. "I spend far too much time there as it is. I'll just go home. I'll be fine."

Amy looked at her.

"Look, if…..nothing will change if I go to hospital ok! They can't stop it can they?" she crossed her arms. "It's my choice!"

Amy nodded and climbed into the truck beside her. "How far gone are you?"

Amie shrugged. "6/7 weeks at most."

Amy nodded.

"Lex could do a scan."

"No I don't want to worry her." Amie replied

"Daniel?"

Amie shook her head. He can't keep a secret to save his life. Everyone would know within 5 minutes, Leopards Den grapevine."

"I could." Amy offered hesitantly.

Amie frowned at her. "Why? Something else you can throw in my face?"

"Amie It's a baby. I know you hate me and guess what I don't care for you much either but I wouldn't throw that at you. God I'm not that nasty!"

"Would you do it?" Amie asked softly. hesitantly.

Amy nodded.

"And you wouldn't tell a soul?" Amie added.

"Not even Daniel." Amy promised.

"Ok." Amie said grudgingly. They started the truck and sat side by side as they drove home.

They arrived home soon enough.

"You go to a hut and I'll grab the stuff I need. I can't do it in the hospital incase your dad or Daniel walks in."

"Ok." Amie said still holding her stomach. As she walked towards the hut she felt nerves fill her.

Amy meanwhile was buzzing around the hospital collecting materials she needed. She made sure the coast was clear and grabbed the scanning machine. Gel and monitor then left the hospital quickly.

**A/N one more chapter after this then we go into the final stretch. x**


End file.
